Whether it's a habit or behaviour that we want to change; getting ourselves unstuck from a position we've held on something for a long time; or just getting a fresh outlook on the circumstances we find ourselves in, I've seen that there are three necessary ingredients for change.
I say ‘seen’, because I don't remember being told these three things, or reading about them anywhere. Having worked with hundreds of people over the years, I just got there in my own sweet time!
I think it became most obvious to me when I was running back to back workshops with various groups of social care staff. The volume of people through the doors was so high, I started to see patterns.
These days I make a point of ‘laying down the law’ with any group or 1:1 client I start working with, because they're so crucial a part of the change process.
So here we go, Giles’ version of how to get the change you want. They're not complicated (the good, really powerful stuff never is), but they're necessary.
First ingredient 🥣
The first thing one must do is show up.
(I told you they weren't complicated, didn't I?! 😆)
Now this may seem almost too obvious a thing, but it is critical. I've been sharing this unique, sometimes contrary-sounding understanding long enough now to have seen pretty much every category of mind-reaction to it going!
And one of those is avoidance.
The mind hears that it's ‘the problem’ and it (quite understandably) freaks out. But minds are sneaky, so it does it really subtly.