“This is maybe theeeeeee best thing I've read about trauma!!! It honestly was an aha moment for me. It's brilliant - thank you x” ~ TJ.
Sometimes we’ll observe the mind-body behaving in a certain way, when faced with a certain situation.
And if it’s a behaviour that the mind has labelled as ‘not good’ then we’ll call this a ‘trigger’.
(You could consider it a running of the mind’s ‘Never’ and ‘Always’ algorithms, but one where we’re not conscious of the thought, but rather we observe things happening a bit further downstream, at the level of feeling, or further still, at behaviour.)
Examples…
- “That family member ‘always’ triggers me,” we might say, or just observe a certain behaviour of ours occurring regularly, when around them
- “I get triggered at work when x, y or z happens.”
- “I find situation a, b or c to be profoundly triggering.”
So what’s going on here?
Well, you might not be surprised to learn that it’s a habitual pattern of thought, that’s all.
Not the content of what you’re thinking (don’t go all self-blamey here; we don’t do that here at the Daily Reminders), but how the mind’s using The Principle of Thought.
It’s algorithmic.
Using its data-in, data-out, if-this-then-that model, the mind perceives incoming data, pattern matches against what it holds in memory, projects into the future and hey presto, faster than the blink of an eye, we’re experiencing a thought/feeling combination we might call ‘fear’, or we’re observing the mind-body:
- moving in a particular way
- tensing in a particular way
- even hurting in a particular way
(This is what they mean when they say ‘trauma is held in the body’.)
And what to do about that?
I’m not sure there is anything to do about that, but to understand what’s going on, and not be freaked out by it. To see that it’s not true, here and now, in reality.
It’s the mind, creating a scary story (that you probably aren’t even aware of, at least at first) and then believing its own story to be actual reality.
You don’t have to take what the mind does, seriously. (If we do; if we push back or resist it, it tends to hang around for longer.)
It’s just a mind, doing what a mind does.
🤷🏻♂️
Here's something though – an easily overlooked piece of this annoying little puzzle, that might help.
Understand that it’s on your side.
Once, when you were little and this pattern got established, it really will have been a good idea; a means to keep that little organism alive and unharmed to the best of its ability (with its little-organism-mind’s understanding of life at that time).
But the mind and the mind’s responses are not where safety comes from.
We learned in yesterday's Daily Reminder, that the experience of Safety = Now.
It’s the mind keeping you trapped in these trauma responses.
And it's the light of insight that will allow you to escape.
A personal example
I was once out riding my bike, having fun bezzing down back country lanes at great speed, when I came through a tiny village (no more than a few houses) in the middle of nowhere, with a blind corner.
I think I’m probably always at least partially mindful of traffic, and given that this was a left hander on a narrow road, I was hugging the near-side wall quite tightly. You never know what’s coming round the next bend, and it makes sense to give everyone as much room as possible.
To my surprise—and to the jogger’s, who was heading in the opposite direction on the road (there was no pavement), hugging that very same piece of wall—it was another person!! And we both found that the space we were about to enter, was already occupied.
Collision imminent!! 💥🤕
Not something I’d anticipated, or ever could have, really, but the mind-body is a truly wondrous machine when it’s operating in the Now, and without any analysis or planning I quite easily made a micro-adjustment, swerving to miss her in a split second (we both yelled “Sorry!” in unison; people are nice) and going about my day, as did she, no doubt.
A ‘trauma response’
Now, here’s the thing.
I’ve been back through that village many times since, and you know what happens when I get to that corner?
I drift out from the wall by a fraction, just in case she’s there again 😂🤣
(You could say that this particular corner ‘triggers’ the G.E.C. or 📦 Giles Ego Construct.)
The mind observed that situation happening, and it’s now convinced that it has to try and keep me safe by avoiding colliding into someone who’s no longer there.
Bonkers!
In fact, it’s getting (at least) three things completely round its neck:
1.
It’s totally overlooked the fact that the chances of that happening again on the same corner are so infinitesimally small, they’re essentially nil.
2.
It’s also failed to acknowledge that on every ride I go on, there are several hundred other corners where this might happen, and it never plans to meet a pedestrian on any of those.
3.
Most crucially—and this one’s the kicker—it’s somewhat conveniently forgotten that when the incident happened, it was not involved in keeping me safe in that moment.
At all!!
😲
In fact, it’s the other way round: it was the absence of analysis, planning, daydreaming, distraction or any other kind of conscious mind activity that enabled the fully-present micro-adjustment to be made and the collision to be avoided in the first place!!
The mind, doing its thing
But no, the mind’s gone and done what minds do, and when it observed that the outcome was ‘good’:
And it wants to feel like it’s doing a good job, so it’s going to furnish me with an unnecessary micro-adjustment of my line, every time I round that damned corner. 🤨
(Conversely, had you noticed that when the mind observes a ‘bad’ outcome, it’s quick to get itself off the hook; effortlessly creating another identity it calls ‘YOU’ and blaming that instead!!! 😂)
How I’ve responded
Having seen what’s going on here—the MECHANICS that underpin this experience—it feels like I now have a choice.
On the many occasions I have since rounded that fateful corner, I have observed that:
- Sometimes I resist the urge, and carry on hugging the corner
- Sometimes I go with the urge to drift out and chuckle to myself
- Sometimes I deliberately micro-adjust the following corner instead, just for a laugh
- And at some point, I may even forget it ever happened.
Although it doesn’t seem like I'll forget, as I type this – and the fact I’m writing about it is only going to solidify it as a thing!
I’m definitely open to the idea of forgetting, but like so many ‘traumatic’ incidents, the memory often remains.
Most importantly, none of it is a problem.
It’s a gift! A ‘helpful’ mind, responding to life in that clutzy way a mind does, getting ideas above its station.
Big deal!
The bottom line
Your experience of life is governed by Principles, which means that the exact same process is in play with all of these things you’ve been told to label as ‘triggers’.
- Many years ago, the mind observed you, in a moment of presence, following your gut to take action and stay safe
- It then falsely took credit for that in-the-moment-wisdom
- It’s now trying to be helpful by offering the same old solution, when it’s not required
- The more you can see this, the less of a hold it will have over you.
With so much love.
💟
Giles
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Giles P Croft