There’s a recurring theme I see on social media, especially when it comes to mental health & wellbeing, that if anyone is offering you one solution to many problems, then it’s a red flag.
“Run a mile!” they say
🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩
According to the received wisdom, anyone offering one solution is at best hopelessly naive, or—more likely—it means they’ve got an agenda and are trying to sell you snake oil.
(And at worst, they’re trying to indoctrinate you into a cult.)
I get it. It does happen!
It’s an understandable, learned reaction, because by and large it’s true. I mean, I myself spent years trying one ‘solution’ after another, hoping that this time it would deliver long lasting peace of mind –
No, that’s not it. Nope, not that either. Dammit, what’s the answer? Why do I always end up feeling like something’s wrong with me?!
And it looks like that’s what I’m talking about, when I share all these stories of different problems being overcome, or solved, with just one, simple understanding.
Indeed, I have a testimonial from a very happy client here (entitled “Life changing!” incidentally) where, when asked, “What were the perceived barriers of working with Giles, beforehand?” they answered,
“My mind was telling me that this wasn’t going to be helpful for me and that other people’s circumstances were different. There was also a narrative around someone being too evangelical about a particular approach and advising caution.”
So yeah… I get it.
I'm not offering ‘one solution’
Now, if I was actually offering one solution, these sorts of objections would be of some concern.
But I’m not. (So they're not.)
In reality, I’m not offering any solutions (which makes for great marketing copy, as I’m sure you can imagine)
😆
No, whatever ‘you’ (i.e. your Ego Construct 📦) may believe when we start working together, I know that you will find your own solutions.
And I know you’re best placed to do that, when you’re in tune with how reality works, how you’re experiencing the world, and when you get a proper feel for who you are, before all the identity-stories your mind has built up around you.
As soon as we try and describe that, or slap a label on it, it’s instantly not ‘it’ – it morphs effortlessly into the dreaded ‘one solution’.
So no, ‘mindfulness’ isn’t the answer, ‘Buddhism’ isn’t the answer. Anything that’s a ‘how to’ is not the answer. Even ‘The 3 Principles’ and ‘Non dualism’ are not the answer!
And that's because:
You’re already it! The formless essence of who you really are at your core – that’s the thing that you’re looking for, whether you know it or not.
The betting-on-horses metaphor 🏇🏻
I was once running a course with a lovely bunch of stressed-out social care staff, and after a few weeks, one of them got a bit exasperated, piped up and shared this brilliant metaphor:
“Look Giles. You seem like a nice chap and all, and I think your heart’s in the right place. I genuinely believe you’re trying to help us all, I really do. But I’ve wasted years of my life betting on one personal development horse after another, and none of them have come up trumps. How is this not just another horse to bet on? Frankly, I don’t have the time or the energy and I can’t face being disappointed all over again.”
Absolutely perfect!
😚👌🏻
Now, initially I was a bit stumped, but after a bit of reflection I realised the answer, that I shared with the group.
“This—if you can even call it a ‘this’—is like being in a hot air balloon, overlooking the race course, observing all the people betting on horses below, believing that they need to, because betting on horses looks like the right thing to do.”
Let's make it memorable for you:
This ‘one thing’ I talk about; that I point back to with every single post, using a different story or metaphor each time, is beyond description.
It's not a ‘solution’ at all.
It’s nothing to do with time, or space or anything within our experience.
I can’t explain it, but relaxing into that state of no-labels, no-expectations, no-shoulds, no-thing … is so nourishing.
It’s home.
And it’s got everything we need, when we need it.
💟
Giles
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Giles P Croft
I say hot air balloons, Zen says ‘a finger pointing to the moon’