You can read Part 1, here: Two moods in the room
And Part 2, here: Step 1 - Showing up
(This is a little bit of a niche topic, so if you're new, or what I’ve written above makes no sense to you, I recommend going back and reading The Journey, which is an excellent starting place, even if I do say so myself ☺️)
We’re looking at the process of sharing in 3 basic steps, and concluded Step 1: Showing up in rather an odd-seeming place where our need to share (which is just ego speaking) has pretty much disappeared.
It's ironic that to arrive in the ‘sharing space’ we have to let go the need to share, but there we are. Paradoxes abound!
Let's refresh our memory with the sharing diagram we've been looking at:
We may be relaxed, carefree and coming from a place of love, but then of course there’s the other person – where are they?
Chances are, the whole reason you felt the need to share in the first place—to help!—was because they were all caught up in their thinking. But that's not the sharing space, and until they're there, nothing's happening.
But if we are ‘showing up’ as we described, coming from a place of love and understanding, then it gives them the space—and the permission, almost—to fall out of their own thinking, and to ‘show up’, themselves.
Listening, without judgement or preconception or the need for anything to be different… that's the key to helping them ‘successfully’ navigate Step 1 themselves. (This video goes into more detail.)
And of course there's another way to describe the ‘sharing space’, and that's present.
Step 2: Being present
Again, there are two people involved, and you need that connection, in presence, if anything's going to change. It's Rumi's field, isn't it:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’
Doesn’t make any sense.”
And while I'd love to give you a checklist of things to do next, and how to share, I fear that would somewhat miss the point, because as far as I can tell, it's just being together, with all the nonsense stripped away.
That's the space where all the good stuff happens, whatever the context. That's actually what's doing the ‘helping’ – not you.
‘You’ (📦) aren't there!
🫥
The good news
It all means that this is much easier than the mind makes out. The mind says things like:
- 📦🗣️: They need to change ‘in order for’ everything to be ok, and
- 📦🗣️: I need to let them know that they're feeling their thinking, and under all that they have Innate Health…
…which is all nonsense. Really, it's just two people properly slowing down together (with you taking the lead) and seeing what happens.
What's likely to happen: Time slows. Connection is felt. Hearts open. Life flows. Something unexpected is said. Change occurs.
And we've not even got to Step 3 yet.
💝
Giles
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Related
This mini-series on sharing the Innate Health understanding