So I was in conversation with a client and they were bemoaning their perfectionist tendencies.
They didn’t like it when these tendencies reared their head. It felt like they got in the way of a nice peaceful life, and they felt a bit powerless to change them.
You know, those unwanted, seemingly important thoughts of how things should (🚩) be, but aren’t, that you feel compelled to act upon?
I'm curious, what’s yours?
No?
Are you telling me you don’t have any weird sh*t going on in your head?!
Wow. Let me know your secret!
😆
Anyway, speaking with this client, it just so happened, that this was me, that very same morning.
I found myself getting hacked off with inanimate objects on the kitchen work surface, wondering whether the little shelving unit against the wall gets moved sideways by the heavy chopping boards leaned up against it because YET AGAIN I suddenly can’t open the microwave door without it banging into the steamer and I really should be able to, because I made damn-well sure I could 😠
(Yeah, it's not pleasant in there, sometimes.)
And you, like my wife, when I put this theory to her in a somewhat exasperated fashion (before I’d had coffee, it must be noted), are probably thinking I need to seek help.
But here’s the thing.
That’s my thought system. My conditioning. It's the G.E.C. (Giles Ego Construct 📦) at work.
Or… more accurately: it’s all happening on my watch.
- At times it will be there
- And at times it will not.
And when I’m aware of it…
- At times it will bother me (like earlier)
- At other times it will make me chuckle (like now).
(What does that tell you about where feelings come from?)
It all depends on what state of consciousness I’m in and what reality is being created in that moment.
It changes all the time. None of it is true!
So I don’t take any of it seriously.
And it’s not a problem.
D’you know what doesn’t change? What is true? What I do take seriously?
That’s who I am.
That sense of “I AM” which is perfectly ok whether or not Giles is bothered, bemused or beguiled by behaviour.
(Incidentally, this is why spiritual teachers are always referring to people as ‘one’ instead of ‘me’ or ‘you’ - not because they’re super-posh or anything, it’s just more precise.)
So, here’s ‘my’ advice, as ‘I’ take on the role of ‘a spiritual teacher’ (so many quote marks!):
If one witnesses perfectionist tendencies arising, one knows that one is ok.
😐
Nope, it might be accurate, but it’s not for me.
Try this instead:
Own your sh*t—embrace your inner weird!—and stop making such a big deal about it, because it’s no big deal.
It’s just your 📦 doing its thing, from time to time.
The less of a deal you make of it, the less solid it will become, the less it will manifest and the less it will bother you.
Resistance is futile!
💟
Giles