Do you sometimes get mad with your self?

Tell me you do this too: you go upstairs with a clear purpose.

You get upstairs and you do something up there.

You come back downstairs only to discover that the thing you did wasn’t the thing you went upstairs to do (or most usually to get).

You turn round and you go back upstairs…

Just me?

😑

Now, here’s the question: do you get cross with your self when this happens?

I used to. I used to get more than cross, I used to get mad. 🤬

(Anger is basically fear, isn’t it? So I guess if we’re digging here, I feared I was losing control.)

Anyway, I don’t get mad any more. I don’t even really get cross.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably cuss a little, but it’s coming from a place of detached amusement rather than any real concern.

“You can’t trust that Giles character - he’s bloody useless!”

😆

Every now and again, if it happens in a moment when life seems really urgent (and let’s face it, it’s way more likely to happen in those low-consciousness moments, isn’t it?) I’ll cuss a lot, and if my wife catches me, she might lovingly chastise me, saying,

“Huni, don’t be so hard on yourself!”

And that really stops me in my tracks, because when I take stock in those moments, I notice that even the super-size cussing is still coming from a place of detached amusement.

You see, that part of the process that forgot what it was supposed to remember—that ‘self’ that seems to be in charge—that’s not me!

It’s just a decades-old computer-mind that’s easily distracted by itself, not matching up to its own rules it’s created and getting tetchy with itself when it does.

What on earth has that got to do with me?! 🤷🏻‍♂️

I mean, it’s doing its best, maybe we should cut the poor thing some slack.

Show it some “self” compassion.

And here’s the thing—your ‘What if…?’ for the day and week ahead—what if the fear of losing control was always a red herring because that part of the process was never in control in the first place?

Maybe that’s why I don’t get mad any more? 🤔

Have yourself a cracking week.

Wherever it leads you.

💟

Giles

p.s. the flip side of seeing that you’re not in control is… [fanfare] You can stop trying to control everything!! 🥳🎉

That’s why my 1:1 clients come through a block of exploration with me with big grins on their faces. Life is so much easier, and they didn’t have to lift a finger. Imagine that!

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Forgiving past transgressions

Seriously ‘bad behaviour’ that is harmful to others, operates under the same principles as minor misdemeanours ❤️‍🩹

The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft