I got myself some fancy cycling shorts, and if it were possible to fall in love with an item of clothing, it would be with these. They’ve got pockets everywhere—on the legs; a big one at the back—it’s AWESOME!!
But here’s the thing. When you put something in any of the pockets, it feels all weird and awkward and bulky.
An energy bar. My phone. A rain jacket. Every time (and I mean every time): Ugh, this feels all weird and awkward and bulky. It’s really going to bug me.
But then, almost instantly, as if by magic, the mind-body system recalibrates, and as I get on with my ride, I don't even notice it's there.
The experience of it is gone – it's simply no longer in consciousness.
(This happens to the degree that I've arrived home from rides before, taken my shorts off to get in the shower, and discovered with complete amazement that I had a jacket with me, all along)! 😲
Recalibration to what?
Now, let's be clear about what the mind-body system is recalibrating to here: the sensation. The psychological, perceptual construct of the experience.
You see, I don't get to experience phone-in-pocket or jacket-on-hips. Those are just concepts. Words. Ideas.
They're stories that the mind builds around the sensation I’m experiencing.
What I get, moment-to-moment, is that felt sensation within the mind-body system: a re-presentation of reality, rather than ‘reality’ itself.
(The map, not the territory, as they say.)
That's all we ever actually get! Of anything!
And this is what got me thinking about resilience (as I reached into my leg pocket to discover that Yes! I did put an energy bar there earlier, then immediately forgot it existed 🤦🏻♂️).
About what resilience must be, when we strip back the human experience to what’s actually going on here.
Because here's the deal: We are innately resilient.
If you were selling Human Operating Systems in boxes (software in boxes used to be a thing; I’m old enough to remember) then it would be one of the headline features you would highlight on the outside of the box:
★★★★★ SELF-CORRECTING MIND-RECALIBRATION!!! ★★★★★ BUILT IN RESILIENCE!!! ★★★★★ PSYCHOLOGICAL IMMUNE SYSTEM PRE-INSTALLED!!! ★★★★★
To me, all this means is the mind-body recalibrating to the sensations of life, on an ongoing, moment-to-moment basis.
A change occurs, we feel the difference (because everything's relative), and then the ‘new’ situation stops bothering us, because we've recalibrated to it.
It's a coming back into presence, and not being distracted by any thinking we might have about the moment's sensations (a bit like the settling of a snow globe).
- There's a change/disturbance →
- Things feel all ‘weird and awkward and bulky’ for a bit →
- The system recalibrates (= resilience) 🔄
- We get on with things, not being bothered by the change, once again open to the wisdom & perspective life offers.
🌟
Life examples
It's pretty easy to see with this example of something going in my pocket and the mind-body getting used to it very quickly, but because we experience everything in exactly the same way, it's no different with other concepts we might call a ‘situation’ too.
Looking back, I can see this playing out with much bigger life events than energy-bars-in-pockets, such as…
I leave the NHS and take a 50% pay cut (which scared the bejesus out of me, for a time):
- There was a change/disturbance →
- Things felt all ‘weird and awkward and bulky’ for a bit →
- The system recalibrated (= resilience) 🔄
- I got on with things, not being bothered by the change, open to the wisdom & perspective life offered
- This meant exploring all sorts of different avenues in life (ultimately leading to the writing of this Daily Reminder) and getting a totally different perspective on careers and career change.
🌟
Another example: My Mum's diagnosed with terminal cancer a couple of years after our daughter is born (which was pretty devastating news for all involved):
- There was a change/disturbance →
- Things felt all ‘weird and awkward and bulky’ for a bit →
- The system recalibrated (= resilience) 🔄
- We got on with things, not being bothered by the change, open to the wisdom & guidance that life offered
- This meant making the most of every moment we had with her, growing closer than we'd imagined possible, and getting a totally different perspective on death, and on grief.
🌟
An exercise for you to do
So I want you to take a moment and think backwards for your own example(s). Recall some big life event(s) that you recalibrated to, and have a bit more of an honest look at the detail of it.
Can you see this process going on?
It happens moment-to-moment, so there’ll have been times when it felt all weird and awkward and bulky and there’ll have been times when it just wasn’t there.
That process is resilience, which I define thus:
It's one to remember, next time you realise in retrospect that you've adjusted to something (it's easy to miss!), or maybe when you're faced with something the mind doesn’t like.
Situation vs. response
Again, to be clear, it's not the situation that resilience is calibrating to—a ‘situation’ is just a mind-story—it's the falling out of all the stories and back into reality.
It's the truly amazing thing about resilience, and another example of the paradoxical way in which we tend to get what we want, not by chasing after it and trying so hard to change our circumstances, but by insight.
Because when our inbuilt, natural, automatic resilience kicks in and we recalibrate to the sensations of life, two things happen simultaneously:
- The situation may not change, but our experience of it does.
- And then, ironically, the situation has changed! 🤯
Happy brain scramblies.
I love you!
😘
Giles
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Giles P Croft
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