The ‘insert topic here’ thought

I was sharing some additional materials with a client the other day, and we sat together and watched Michael Neill’s wonderful TEDx talk: Why Aren’t We Awesomer?

If you’ve not seen it, it’s essential viewing: funny, to the point (it’s only 14 minutes long) and shoots like an arrow, straight to the heart of the inside-out understanding.

(I mean, Michael wrote the book, so it makes sense that he’d be pretty good at articulating it.)

For a long time, this was my all time favourite TED talk and yet I’ve not watched it for years.

I’m pleased to report it has stood the test of time, and as I was listening to Michael relate his story once more (he suffered from bouts of severe depression and suicidal ideation, before coming across this understanding), I was struck by the way he described that experience. He said he realised that:

“Oh, that’s just ‘The Suicide Thought’ – it doesn’t make it true.”

And because it’s one of the most taboo thoughts a human can have—if followed through, it leads to the end of being a human!—it really makes you sit up and listen.

I can’t remember which book of his it is (maybe a podcast episode, or a conference talk), but he comes back to this notion of the ‘x, y, or z’ thought again, when he relates that since leaving behind ‘The Suicide Thought’ it shows up in all sorts of different—very human!—guises instead.

• Argument with wife → ‘The Divorce Thought’ pops up
• Bad day at work → There’s the ‘Quit My Job Thought’.

Without putting words in Michael’s mouth, I think what he’s trying to convey is that these are very natural ‘mind-reactions’ to certain situations.

Crucially, you’ll note they all occur in a very low frame of mind:

• Depressed: Suicide
• Disagreement: Divorce
• Bad day: Quit

And here’s the key:

It’s wisdom in the moment.

The mind is suffering, a lot. In such a low mood, it has no idea this it’s the cause of that suffering.

So it presents the only solution it can think of, in that moment: escape!

As he relates in the TED talk, it was the next morning, when he’d come out of the psychotic episode he was having and got some perspective (i.e. higher mood/level of consciousness) that wisdom presented him with a much deeper insight:

“Oh. I don’t actually want to die!”

And from that point onwards—knowing that it was just the best the conditioned mind could come up with in a low level of consciousness, and that it didn’t mean a damn thing—he stopped paying attention to ‘The Suicide Thought’ when it arose.

And it naturally just faded away.

So, what is it for you, dear reader?

What’s your ‘x, y, or z’ thought?

(Substitute your most outlandish & destructive thing to think about, that you notice happening on your watch, especially when you’re in a low state of mind.)

Do you know—like, really know—that you don’t have to believe it?

If you give it your attention, get into it, delve around in the whys and wherefores of it… it’ll just get stickier and sticker.

But if you stop taking it so seriously… it’ll naturally just fade away.

Enjoy your weekend – watch the TED talk, if you haven’t already!

💟

Giles

p.s. If you’re thinking, “But Giles, sometimes ‘Escape!’ is the right thing to do!” I hear you. In situations of physical danger, or unremitting psychological abuse, then removal, divorce or quitting could be just the ticket. It all depends!

Nothing here is saying anyone ‘should’ (🚩) or ‘should not’ (🚩) do anything in particular! We’re simply looking at the principles that govern our experience. We tend to see ‘the path’ a lot clearer, when it’s not cluttered with misconceptions 💝

The TED Talk