Here’s one for you: Is there ever a legitimate reason to worry? Does it serve any purpose, whatsoever? I can’t think of any, and I need your help.
“To prepare, Giles, you idiot!”
I can hear you yelling, but I’m not talking about planning, I’m talking about worrying.
You know, as in the dictionary definition:
Planning or preparing is not the same as worrying. You can plan, or prepare without anxiety.
(As an aside, did you know that the etymology of the word ‘worry’ is ‘to strangle, or bite the throat’? Why do that to yourself?!)
“It’s got to be protective though, hasn’t it? Otherwise we wouldn’t do it!”
Hmmm, I’m not so sure. Let’s a have a look, shall we?
Example scenarios
Travel
Lots of potential for things going wrong means it’s only natural to worry, surely?
- I don’t think so. Prepare. Book tickets. Take snacks. Plan for contingencies if necessary… but worry? Pointless!
- Your best bet: Stay present and open. When things go awry, you’re perfectly equipped to deal with problems, or ask for help.
- Try this: We’ve dealt with this one, specifically, if it’s a source of worry for you 👉🏻 There's nothing wrong with that.
Health
Another classic. Got a ‘worrying’ symptom that you need to go and get investigated? It’s there in the definition, Giles – a symptom you should (🚩) worry about!
- Again, is anything gained by worrying? Make the appointment, get the test, wait for the result, deal with the consequences… but worry? Pointless!
- I get it: The mind will go there. But you don’t have to 👉🏻 jump on that train of thought.
Tests and interviews
Big stakes, hard questions, difficult times, worry is natural, yes?
- Just because the mind does it, doesn’t mean it’s helpful! Prepare? Definitely! Revise? Oh yes. Do your best? For sure. But worry…? Pointless.
- Again: Your best bet is to stay present and open – you’ll be better able to put into action all that planning and revision you’ve done.
- Try this: Another one we’ve already tackled 👉🏻 The storm before the calm
A study showed…
The reason this has come to my attention is because this research paper has been doing the rounds again, on social media. It found that when properly tracked:
- 91.4% of worries did not come true for those diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
Prompting anxious people everywhere to cry,
“OMFG!! I knew it!! 8.6% of my worries are going to come true!!” 😱
But have a look again at the examples we’ve explored, above. None of those have got anything to do with preventing things from happening.
That’s not the issue.
You could lose your luggage, get stranded overnight in an airport, even crash and be maimed; get told bad news at the hospital, have some deeply unpleasant investigations, be in pain, be diagnosed with terminal cancer; get laughed at, forget your own name in an interview, fail an exam… and you know what?
Worry’s not going to prevent anything from happening—at all!—it’s just going to degrade your experience of life.
Or maybe improve it?
Hear me out for a moment.
If it offers no practical advantage in terms of general safety (because we already are safe), then how about worry having a more straightforward purpose?
What if… the true function of worry is to point us back to the fact that the mind has become active, is ‘worrying unnecessarily’ and is taking us away from the very place we will experience the safety that it's looking for?
In presence and openness.
Maybe that’s the point to worry: to remind us not to worry.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
💟
Giles
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Giles P Croft