I was having a coaching conversation with someone who was struggling a bit with the experience they were having. I can’t really recall any of the details of what we discussed, but I do remember there was a moment where everything seemed really hard and overwhelming for them, and they said, with some dismay,
“I can’t do it!”
And this is the problem.
We think that whatever ‘it’ is, we have to do it.
So let’s rephrase that shall we, see if we can’t get a bit more clarity on it. Here we go:
Now, that’s quite a different proposition, isn’t it?
The ultimate imposter
If we scale back a bit, we’ll see that this is so called ‘imposter syndrome’ in a different guise… it’s innocently placing the ownership of our actions, decisions, achievements, and ‘failures’ on to an idea of who we are (or how we should be).
Making out like ‘we’ (ego) are making these things happen, through sheer force of will. But here are your considerations for the day:
What if… the mind’s not doing any of it?
What if… life’s living you, moving you, breathing you, and then the mind is overlaying a narrative on top of what it observes?
What if… it’s the very notion of ‘you’, (the S.E.C. or Subscriber Ego Construct 📦) having to do ‘it’ that is keeping you stuck from moving on?
[Oh, I know. Tedious, isn’t it?! “Giles - stop this, it’s not helping!” … said a mind 😉 Hey, it’s a Sunday Spiritual, ok? I get to bring out the big guns at the weekend]
Not ‘me’ writing
Let’s bring it a little closer to home, with a real life example: the regular writing deadlines I face; be they the monthly articles I write for the Focus Magazine, or these Daily Reminders.
It’s all become easier over time. And quicker over time. I’m way more likely to be able to just sit down and knock something out, whereas before I used to think about it all in advance. A lot!
Now, from the outside it looks like I’ve just got more experience and I’ve got used to doing it. That it’s all skills-based. That I’ve gained confidence. That I’m managing my processes better.
(I can assure you, the last one of those is not a thing 😂)
But I’ve seen it’s something deeper than that.
Here’s what I think is going on:
Over time, I’ve gathered my own evidence that it’s not ‘me’ (i.e. the Giles Ego Construct 📦) doing any of it. It can’t be – it’s just a thought!
And that’s why it’s become easier. Because it just makes sense to me to place less and less responsibility on to my Thought System to do any of this stuff.
Practicalities
In simple, practical terms, it means worrying less about things that seem hard… and getting a whole load of time and energy back, as a result. And of course I have more of an experience of being connected to wisdom & intuition: it’s easier to hear.
Does ego still think it’s in charge, and offer ‘helpful’ (i.e. massively judgemental, largely negative, fear-based) suggestions?
Hell yeah!
Do I follow that thinking with my attention?
No. That’s what’s changed.
When it comes to doing anything new or hard, the mind/left brain narrator still jumps in with insecurity, but I know it’s doing that only because it thinks it’s responsible for completing the task… when it’s not.
So I don’t pay it any attention.
Other than being kind to it, of course. You could say I show ‘self-compassion’.
It’s doing its best. It’s just a got a vastly over-inflated notion of what its job actually is!
In reality, life’s calling the shots. Life’s in charge of inspiration and creativity and fresh new ideas and motivation and possibility and purpose and productivity… and ego’s just along for the ride.
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
p.s. I’m often asked, “What on earth is the point of the left brain narrator then?” and my answer is usually something along the lines of “I don’t know, I’m not an Evolutionary Anthropologist!”
So just now I asked Chat GPT a carefully phrased question, and you can read a transcript of the answer it came up with, here: What is the purpose of the left brain narrator? (You’ll see I used ‘Chris Niebauer’, author of the brilliant No Self, No Problem, in my prompt, but if you really wanted to go down the rabbit hole, you could ask it what ‘Giles P Croft’ thinks 😂🤣)
The No-Self Bundle (Premium 🔖 Written & Audio Content)
You don’t need to ask a bot what it has scraped off the internet about me, so it can guess what I think about the nature and role of ‘self’ in our lives, because I’ve written three essays on the topic!
Get it direct from a real human, instead – me!
You can learn more, and get a discounted bundle of these three transformative essays, over in the online store. Each one comes as a beautifully presented PDF and is accompanied with an audio-narrated (by me) version.