Do you have something in your house that you don’t like doing?
A domestic chore that looms inappropriately large in your life? Something you find yourself constantly putting off?
That you maybe even joke about, to lighten the mood, e.g.
“Oh that’s terrible… and to make matters worse, there’s still [insert nemesis here] to do, nooooooo!” 😫😆
Or…
“I did [insert nemesis here] today!!” 💪🏻
“You never did!!” 😲
“I did!!” 😊
“OMFG, how are you still standing?!” 🤯
“I know, right? I’d like my badge now, please.” 😎
(Just us? Surely not!)
Here at Croft Towers, you'll never guess what our life-ruining nemesis is…
It’s changing the water filter.
😂
The water here is a bit ropey – if you're going to actually enjoy drinking a cup of tea, it needs filtering. And a while back, we decided we didn’t like buying, using and chucking out water filters so much, so we switched to this refillable doohickey instead, which:
- eases existential environmental guilt
- supposedly saves cash, and
- makes you feel like you’re actually living the life of an Instagram ad.
All in one fell swoop. I mean, what’s not to like?
Well, the fact that you have refill the damn thing, for a start.
🤨
I mean, ok, I get it. In the big scheme of things—or, let’s face it, even the little scheme of things—it’s relatively small fry.
It’s not a dirty, smelly, dusty, heavy, technical or tricky domestic task to complete.
It’s just a bit tedious.
Which is precisely why it’s achieved this semi-hilarious, mythical, dragon-to-be-slain status in our household.
All be fine and dandy—enjoyable, even—if it didn’t ever become a problem.
It becomes a problem
But every six weeks or so, it becomes a problem. Because it's scheduled to pop up again on my digital To Do list, instantly provoking the reaction:
“What?!?! That can't possibly be right! No way has it been six weeks! It feels like I've only just done it!” 😫
And a low level sadness immediately descends. Because no matter what else is going on in my life, there's now also the damned water filter to dismantle, empty out, wash, refill, flush through and re-set.
☹️
Now, you're very likely reading this and thinking OMG Giles, why are you making such a big deal out of this?! It's nothing!
And that's kind of the whole point. Because this is what minds do: they make a big deal out of nothing.
So in practical terms, when that Change water filter item resurfaces on my To Do list, the first thing I will do is not do it. (Because there's always something more important—way more important!—to be doing instead.)
But then, as the days go by, I'll delay it. I put it off and—with a simple swipe 👉🏻📲 gesture—I punt it.
“Well it’s definitely not happening today, so I may as well take it out of the Today list – there’s enough in there already that’s not going to get done, I shouldn’t add to the mental overload!”
But then, like some robot serial killer in a movie that just won't die, there it is again the next day. And I have to go through it all again.
😖
On a good day, first thing, the app tells me, happily,
And it’s the sodding water filter, that I’d forgotten about, since I punted it off yesterday’s list.
Add to this the fact I’m trying to fit this task in around a busy family, who are always drinking water, making cups of tea, filling water bottles etc.
Even just writing about it, I’m getting a bit hacked off.
By a frickin’ WATER FILTER, people!!! 😱
A story is told
Anyway, here’s something I noticed.
Last time I had to do it, I’d been putting it off for about two weeks.
Every day, I wouldn't do it.
The joke had been worn so many times—“…and I haven’t even changed the water filter yet!”—that it was threadbare. No longer recognisable as a joke.
To boot, the mind (remember: minds are tricksy) had created a little story that I’d not really noticed, until afterwards.
It was something like:
Which kind of explained everything, because the mind was waiting… and not seeing the conditions it thought it needed… and waiting some more… and not seeing the right conditions it was demanding… and making me feel bad, repeatedly.
A breakthrough
And then, after a pretty bad night’s sleep, with a stack of things to do, very much not on top of anything (frankly dreading what the day held) I just found myself doing it.
In fact, I’d pretty much done it, before I even noticed.
Instant win. Achievement unlocked!
I did the ‘hard’ thing, even when I wasn't feeling in the mood for it!
Mind-rules be damned!
😜
What's the advice, then?
Well, I’m not entirely sure there is any. Does there have to be advice?
Your own mind will have been following through this story, relating it to the beliefs that it holds about you, and ‘how you are’; making additional impressions about me, and ‘how I am’ in those little mental archives of yours; comparing the two against each other and spitting out a ‘better’ or ‘worse’ judgement… this is all just what minds do.
🤷🏻♂️
But there’s no “So in these situations, what you SHOULD (🚩) do is…”
That’s not what the Daily Reminders are about.
But I can tell you, that since going through this experience and jotting down the bare bones of this piece, the dreaded Change water filter item has bubbled up on my To Do app again and this time, it didn't bother me half as much.
Because this episode helped me to see through the mind's tricks. (Again.)
Maybe awareness—that it was only ‘hard’ because the mind made it so—is the key?
Who’d have thought a humble water filter could form such a solid foundation for spiritual growth?
💟
Giles
p.s. Domestic chores aside, what other ‘hard’ things do you think your mind is creating a story around? 🤔