This is something I heard coming out of my mouth, when speaking with a client, who asked me,
“What do you mean?”
I wasn't entirely sure, truth be told (it just came out!), and I admit that without context, the statement ‘You don't need to manage your experience’ could very easily be interpreted by a mind as meaning:
Minds, ha! I'm not sure we'd have got very far as a species, if we played it that way.
😆
But when I reflected for a bit, I realised there's a clue to what this statement might mean in that famous Syd Banks quote:
“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”
Because the opposite of this quote—being afraid of our experience—implies that some degree of management is required, doesn't it? Wouldn't we have to be a bit careful about what we let through our defences, in order not to be harmed in some way?
🤔
The next logical step for me then, would be to ask ask why we might ‘be afraid’ of our experience? What is this ‘harm’ that we're avoiding?
And that goes right to the essence of the inside-out understanding, which looks at the nature of experience itself, to see that:
We're not experiencing an ‘out there’ that's happening to us, we're experiencing life, manifesting in thought-perception, coming through us.
And, as Richard Carlson so beautifully said, in a perfectly delicious extension to the Syd Banks quote:
“Thought, in and of itself, is harmless.”
Which begs the question… why would we need to manage that? If it's harmless, it can just come and go, we can experience whatever thought-feeling constructs that come along, and go about the business of being human.
🙂
Ego or Love?
I think the easiest route to feeling your way into this idea, is to be in tune with where you're coming from, in your words and deeds.
So if you're about to do something and find yourself bashing up against the question – Is this me trying to manage my experience? then just slow down for a moment and ask yourself the question – Where is this coming from? Is this ego, or love?
Ego wants or needs something, ‘in order to’ be ok. It needs to have things just to its liking, otherwise ‘bad’ feelings will result. (You could think of this as ‘managing your experience’.)
Love doesn't want or need. It knows that however things turn out—whatever experience occurs, and whatever the mind says about that experience—your wellbeing is not at risk. There is no ‘in order to’ be ok, because you already are ok!
And that requires no management at all.
💝
Giles