You know, I’ve lost so much interest in my thinking these days.
Seeing it for what it is—just my conditioning playing out to the tune of whatever mood I’m in, in that moment—means there’s very little merit in paying any attention to it at all. And I don’t tend to take any of it seriously.
(Except when it’s really important and I do, ok? And that’s different, d’you hear me?! Different, I tell you!! 😆)
It’s a source of endless amusement.
Like the other day, when I’m riding up the Gospel Pass (South Wales’ highest paved mountain pass) thinking that I’ve lost my mind.
Because I rode down this same road, just weeks previously, and it was in a shocking state. At least I thought it was. But I don’t really trust my thinking, these days. ’Cos it talks shite.
You see, on that day, I’d completely messed up my route, the weather was much worse than I’d expected, I hadn’t even planned to go over the top of the pass, I’d run out of food, was under-dressed, the light was fading and I had to do this madcap descent off the top of the mountain, with legs screaming and lungs burning, trying to outrun the weather and avoid getting a bollocking ’cos I said I’d be back waaaaay earlier than I was going to be.
(Shout out to long-suffering wife ❤️ 51 years old and I’m still making the same basic errors! 🤣)
And yet today, sun shining, pockets stuffed full of food, beautiful light playing through the trees, birds tweeting, legs feeling good… the experience could not be more different.
And the road! All those potholes and gravelly bits that I’d imagined, all the way down the descent, they’re actually few and far between. This surface actually isn’t bad at all!
“Consciousness!!” I’m marvelling to myself. “The reality I experience in a low mood, vs. a high one. I must write about this! Look how frickin’ powerful it is! Makes a heaven out of hell and a hell out of heaven!” … with a slight tinge of “Strewth, how did I get it so wrong?!?!”
A couple of hours later, I’m home and a good friend texts me, having seen the route I took for my ride, on Strava.
“I bet you’re really chuffed they resurfaced the Gospel Pass last week, aren’t you?!”
😐
😮
🤦🏻♂️
I have no words.
😂
Giles
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Giles P Croft
How moods create our reality 🔄