They're hungry little things, minds, aren't they?
I've noticed mine, asking for (demanding) more, recently.
It's been a spectacularly busy time, creating this home for the Daily Reminders, and I've had multiple project pieces to juggle. Lots of spinning plates. Dependencies. Contingencies. Managing scope creep. Quality assurance.
The sorts of things that used to leave me cold when my job title was actually ‘Project Manager’ but these days just make sense as part of doing what I was put on earth to do.
Go figure 🤷🏻♂️
Anyway, it means there have been lists. Lots of lists.
I have an app I use—Things, it's called—but when the chores really begin to rack up and there's more to do than I (feel like I) can handle, I'll revert to written lists.
Because if I'm going to go to the trouble of sourcing a suitable place to write it down, then thinking for long enough not to just write down any old shit that gets crumpled up and tossed in the bin, and then committing it to paper neatly, using my actual hand to grip an actual pen… then by jove, that task is going to get done!!
Even if it's days later… as it so often is.
And here's what I've noticed
For me, at least: To Do lists are the very pinnacle of outside-in thinking. Because it really, really, really looks like how I feel is tied in to the To Do list.
It's another illusion I just can't un-see.
It looks like I feel ‘bad’ (a bit harried, not doing well, not really winning at life) while there are outstanding items on the list, or I'm ‘getting behind’.
(To be clear: that would be ‘getting behind’ as measured against a set of criteria that have been completely made up by the mind 🙄)
And it looks like I'll feel ‘good’ (sense of accomplishment, doing well, winning at life) when I've checked everything off the list.
Like I say, this one's as sticky as they come, for me. I've not found a way for it to not look like this.
(Believe you me, if I had found a way, I'd have shared it with you ages ago.)
😆
But here's what else I've noticed
Today, a previously-planned To Do surfaced on the digital list.
Oh my word, that time, already?! 😲
Upon seeing the To Do, the illusory cycle began immediately:
- I can't feel good until it's done.
- It's a big job and there's no way I'll complete it all in one day
- I wonder when it will be done, because then I'll be able to relax and feel ok
- Oh dear lord, this is “I'll be happy when…” all over again and I'm just as bad as everyone else is, I'm such a fraud!
…that sort of malarkey.
I was being realistic – I knew it was a task that was going to take concerted effort over a few days, with lots of unknowns and new learning, so I committed to doing just one aspect of it; something that would really move it forward.
And then, because I'm as insane as the rest of you, for that one thing, I un-realistically planned on doing way more than I thought I was actually capable of achieving in a day.
(Setting ourselves up to fail – why do we do this?! 😫)
But then, to my surprise I relaxed into the task almost immediately. Didn't procrastinate on it. Really enjoyed the process. It's actually a fun thing that I want to do (I realised) and several hours later, I had easily accomplished my large first step.
I was a bit gobsmacked to be honest, but the good thing was, looking through the lens of my outside-in To Do list-goggles, having done what I had planned to do (and more), it was now officially time to feel good, hurrah!! 🥳 🙌🏻
Did I feel good, dear Reader?
No. I did not.
The mind immediately said,
📦🗣️ “You underestimated what you can achieve. You should crack on with the next bit, now.”
FFS 😭
So here's your take home message from today's Daily Reminder:
And when I say “never,” I mean it is the nature of minds to judge in this way.
It's not something you can switch off.
So what do we do?
- We become aware of it doing this.
- We see that this is the nature of the mind.
- We accept that this is always going to happen.
- We know that it doesn't mean diddly squat.
And we celebrate whatever the hell we want to celebrate, whenever the hell we want to celebrate it.
Because we're grown ups. Who like to have fun.
Me right now: 🥳 🙌🏻 🤩 🕺🏻😁
Giles
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Giles P Croft
Companion piece. It's almost as if this is a recurring theme?!?! 🙄