I was having a conversation with someone who was a bit stuck around career change.
They’d been doing the same thing for 20 years and knew it was time for change. They also had one of those deep, almost secret little desires that they knew was what they really wanted – the lesser spotted Big Dream!
Being human, they were scared and uncertain and daunted by everything they didn’t know about this particular path, and it almost felt like it was too soon to be taking that leap. (Standard fare.)
But that wasn’t what was keeping them stuck.
What was in their way was an offer of a different opportunity that had arisen. It was somewhat related to their current work, but it was a change from what they were doing—it was welcome, stable, doable—but it wasn’t The Dream.
And they didn’t feel like they could take this new opportunity, because even though it made a good deal of sense, it also felt like saying ‘No’ to The Dream.
And they’d hit a wall.
Timing
Now, I don’t ever know what’s ‘right’ for another person—how could I?—but I’ve been through a fair few transitions myself and I can spot a story when I see one.
When it comes to this stuff, minds (which are like little algorithmic computers 🤖) operate in terms of black and white, using the currency of either/or, and if-this-then-that logic.
So a mind will spy a situation like this and start saying things like:
📦🗣️ “If you take that job it means an end to The Dream,” and
📦🗣️ “If you were braver, you’d just go for The Dream right now,” and
📦🗣️ “That’s playing small, you should wait until you’re ready to launch into The Dream.”
And is it any wonder we stay stuck!
I’ve been there before, myself. Back when I first left clinical medicine, I had a Big Dream—basically finding a way to get paid to ride my bike and write about it—and yet the timing wasn't right for me to make such a big leap.
I wasn't the person I needed to be, with the experience I needed to have, to just up sticks and wing it, freelance.
And when the Health Informatics job that I eventually took was on the horizon, the careers advisor I'd been working with even flagged it. After I'd filled in several career workbooks, dreamed big and had all sorts of personality & skills analysis, I'd decided to take the Informatics job and was warned,
“You know this isn't what you really want to do, don't you?”
And honestly, I kind of did. But I was ok with that.
Stepping stones
I still had one eye on the Big Dream, so when it came to making any decisions about a short term career change, I just made sure I didn't actively close the door on it, and I could keep it alive.
I saw every change that I made as a stepping stone, rather than a big leap.
So for instance, when I was living in Leeds, looking for jobs outside of medicine, knowing that ultimately I wanted to ride-my-bike-and-write-about-it, it made no sense at all to move to London. There are no long, mountainous climbs in the big smoke, so I just ruled it out completely.
And ended up moving to Wales. (Where there's lots of that.)
I knew I couldn't take another clinical job where I'd be working shifts and sleeping through the day, or be revising for exams outside of work, because that would be shutting the door on ride-bike-and-write-about-it.
And ended up taking a University job with fairly flexible hours.
Turns out, it was only a matter of two years before I had my first cycling magazine article published, got taken on as a freelancer to be sent all over Europe to ride my bike and write about it and ended up leaving the job.
What no one will tell you
I've seen this time and again, as I move onwards, following my nose and doing more of what I like, and less of what I don't – it's all just stepping stones.
Especially in the world of coaching, where one of the first questions you get asked is, If I had a magic wand, what would you love to have happen? … the mind then tends to get this impression that if we do have something we really want to achieve, we should (🚩) drop everything and grab it by the horns, to the exclusion of all else.
And because that's often not practical or feasible, instead, we stay stuck. Like the client who came to me with this exact problem.
But I wish someone had told me a long time ago, like I'm about to tell you:
It can just be a stepping stone.
The world works in mysterious ways, and if you're moving—in any direction—with a Big Dream in the back of your mind… you may be surprised at how quickly, possibly indirectly, you can get there.
💟
Giles
p.s. If you'd like to read more on the topic, here's a link to all the Daily Reminders tagged with ‘Careers’.
Related
Giles P Croft
More on getting-out-of-your-own-way
An episode of The Mind Takeaway podcast, where I was quizzed about Career Change