Last weekend’s Listening World Summit that I attended online had some lovely little observations about the act of listening: what it is, what it’s not, how to do it, what happens when we do.
Listening: a doing, or a being?
Michael Neill, author of the Inside-Out Revolution, got things kicked off, when he pointed out that one of the reasons we can ‘struggle’ with listening, is because we see it as a skill, when really it’s just something that happens naturally.
How to spot listening
Aaron Turner expanded on this, later in the day, when he gave us a checklist of sorts, to help identify when listening is happening. We can see that when we're with another person:
- Listening is ‘being in neutral’ – you’re not attached to your own imaginings about what’s being said 🤔
- Listening is really easy! You don’t have to actually do anything 🥳
- Listening feels good – the creeping in of unease or urgency is a sign that ego’s returned, with its wants and needs, trying to get your attention and distract you from listening (“Like jumpy puppies”!) 🐶
- Listening gives you a genuine sense of what the other person is really trying to convey, beyond the mere words that they’re saying.
Listening to change the world
This last one really caught my attention. Michael (again) pointed out that listening is the only sure-fire way to cure all the world's ills, because:
“It's the one thing that nobody minds.”
Reflect on that for a moment: can you think of anyone, anywhere who would reject being listened to? As Michael said,
- It's universally accepted
- Everybody likes it
- It crosses all cultures
- It's not a problem anywhere, so it can help everywhere!
Let's all commit to relaxing back away from the mind's perceived needs this week, and being better listeners.
💟
Giles
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