> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.gilespcroft.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # “Well, what d’you expect?” - URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/well-what-dyou-expect/ - Published: 2024-08-24T07:00:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-08-08T14:18:35.000Z - Description: In which Giles realises something about the effortless nature of no-expectations 😮 - Author: Giles P Croft - Tags: Gratitude, Expectations, Parenting, Acceptance, Cooking, IMPLICATIONS, Identity, Mental Health, Presence, Principles, Psychology, Real stories, Relationships, Thought realisation My Chica had been doing some summer-holidays baking with a mate of hers (a process, I should point out, that was supervised not by me, but by my wife, who is a *legend*). Anyway, I was mooching around the kitchen later that day and I found this cookie pictured up top! 💝😍💞🥰💓 It was unheralded, just lying there on the side and I was blown away. Really quite overcome with love and gratitude. She made that for *me!* 🥹 I went to find the baker, who was busy colouring something in, to express my heart-felt gratitude at such a nice gesture, and got a somewhat confused response: > *“Well, what d'you expect? ‘Poopy-pants Dad,’ or something?!”* 😂 I had to pause, because of course while I *didn’t* expect that (although, to be fair, it’s *definitely* within the realms of possibility that it *could* have been decorated with ‘*Poopy-pants Dad’,* depending on what frame of mind the baker was in, while baking), I realised something else. When she asked me that question, outright: > *“Well, what d'you expect?”* …I realised, with genuine surprise, that I expect nothing. I don't take any of this stuff for granted. If she’s loving, she’s loving. If she’s grumpy, she’s grumpy. If she’s irrationally hacked off with me for something I didn’t even say, two weeks ago, she’s… well, you get the picture. And this has the immense benefit of making the little things so much more special. 😍 It goes to the heart of the Buddhist teachings, doesn’t it, about desire and expectation being the root of all suffering. Now, I’m not a practicing anything, but I looked up some quotes for you - here’s a good one: > **“Peace begins when expectation ends.”** And another: > **“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.”** And like you (maybe) I’ve seen tons of quotes like that and in the past I think my mind has probably interpreted it as a doing: > 📦🗣️: *“Ok, so you’re saying I have to stop expecting stuff, and everything will be peaceful? Awesome. Sign me up. So what do I do, now?”* But here’s the deal. The reason why I was genuinely surprised, was because in that moment I just realised that I already *had* no expectations around this. It wasn’t a *doing* at all. ➤ It’s like no-expectations (and consequently, gratitude) is no effort at all. ➤ And expectations (and consequently, suffering) is actually the doing. Simplicity manifest! --- Since we’re talking Buddhist-type quotes today, let’s finish with this lovely little story I also came across (which I think is completely fictional, but nonetheless hammers home quite nicely the freedom that comes from subtraction of the unnecessary/the untrue): **A man asked the Buddha:** > *“I want happiness.”* **The Buddha replied:** > *“First remove ‘I,’ for that is Ego.* > *Then remove ‘want,’ for that is Desire.* > *See? Now you are left with only happiness.”* Enjoy your weekend. 💟 Giles SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter [![CTA Image](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/2025/12/DR_Lockup-Black-1.png)](#/portal/signup) Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’* **“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK **“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK [GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup) ### Related [“This hasn’t worked”Dancing to the tune of ego’s wants is a game you can’t really win. But there’s a better way. 🎲![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/icon/DR_Lockup-Black-3-366.png)The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/thumbnail/photo-1758523672238-6430602d55cd.jpeg)](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-hasnt-worked/) What happens when you **do* have a bunch of expectations