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# Love isn't supposed to be easy
- URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/love-isnt-supposed-to-be-easy/
- Published: 2026-02-14T07:00:32.000Z
- Updated: 2026-02-14T07:00:32.000Z
- Description: Oh, was I supposed to do soppy on February 14th? 💘
- Author: Giles P Croft
- Tags: Relationships, Comics, Film & TV, Identity, Neuroscience, Psychology, Video, IMPLICATIONS

It's Valentine's Day, so let's take a quick look at why relationships seem so hard.

(We like to keep it real, here at the Daily Reminders 😉)

I came across this, online. Don't ask me whence it came, nor even if it's ‘real’ but it certainly got me pondering the nature of relationships, so I don't really care one way or the other:

0:00 

/0:52 

1× 

Extra marks for being able to name any of the cultural references. I think I scored 3\. 

> The person you love most  
> Is also the one who triggers you most.  
> That's not a coincidence  
> It's how love actually works.

> Your partner isn't there  
> Just to make you happy.  
> They're there to show you  
> The parts of yourself you've been avoiding  
> The wounds that haven't healed  
> The patterns that keep repeating.

> The way they challenge you  
> The way they make you feel   
> Exposed and vulnerable  
> That's not a problem with your relationship  
> That's love doing its job.

> Real love doesn't just comfort you  
> It forces you to grow  
> It holds up a mirror  
> To your worst habits and deepest fears  
> It makes you confront  
> The version of yourself you'd rather ignore.

> That's why relationships are so hard:  
> You're not just dealing with another person  
> You're dealing with everything they bring up in you  
> That you thought you had handled.

> Love isn't supposed to be easy.  
> It's supposed to change you.

All of which kind of makes sense when we slow down and realise, once more, that all we ever *really* experience is not that ‘other person’ but our own Thought System, being reflected outwards into the world. 

We meet a different version of them every time, because we're meeting a *picture* of them, brought to life by the immense power of thought, as it is spun through the prism of our own state of mind, our beliefs and our conditioning.

A relationship is a mirror.

Without the reactions and behaviours of others—especially those we love most—how would we even know anything of ourselves in the first place?

💖

Giles

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