# The Daily Reminders
> Quick hit, big impact nuggets of daily wisdom to help you think less and live more.
Public Ghost content for AI and LLM tooling. This file includes a bounded export of public pages first, then recent public posts.
Append `.md` to any post or page URL to get the content in Markdown (for example, `/example-post.md`).
## Pages
### About me
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/about/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T09:49:27.000Z
My name is Giles P Croft. I started out as a psychology graduate and NHS surgeon, before moving away from clinical practice to explore various alternative life-paths, in an accidental quest to find the source of fulfilment and happiness.
Eventually I realised it was there all along.
I write, deliver courses and provide [1:1 support](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/) from my base in the Brecon Beacons National Park Wales, where I live with my wife and daughter.
I help people who are ready for change, to rediscover the peace and clarity that's *already* built in, so that they can live happy, productive lives.
---
> *“A completely non-judgemental approach. Giles coaches with integrity and insight. Where a problem can feel impossible or hopeless, he offers the possibility of a map to guide you safely around obstacles. The package he delivers has such a positive impact – a groundbreaking shift in thinking that provides hope!”* \~ N.S.
---
## Welcome to my world 🌐
I pride myself on transparency and authenticity, so if you're going to get involved with me and my work, I want you to be aware of the various ways you can do that, from very light touch (free) to intensive 1-on-1 deep coaching work (expensive).
Everybody's on their own journey, and different depths of support and investment will appeal to different people.
### Free stuff
- Almost all the [Archived Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/archive/) on this website
- [The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/newsletter/): a ‘page-a-day’ newsletter designed to ground you in reality at the start of your day. **‘Think less. Live more’** – that's the promise.
- All the [podcast episodes](https://gilespcroft.link/podcasts?ref=gilespcroft.com) I have appeared on *(sorry it's a list on my FB page – these will be brought into the site at some point)*
- My [YouTube channel](https://youtube.com/drgilespcroft?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Think Less. Live more.
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/newsletter/)
Learn more about ****The** ****Daily Reminders**: the page a day newsletter that turns wellbeing & mental health on its head.
• Regular mental health support in your Inbox
• Written with humour and understanding
• The joy of starting a positive daily habit ☺️
[Learn more ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/newsletter/)
### Low investment (£)
- Some [longer written essays](https://payhip.com/gilespcroft/collection/written-audio?ref=gilespcroft.com) with narrated versions in the [Digital Store](https://gilespcroft.link/store/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
- A [**Premium 🔖 Subscription**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/#/portal/signup) to the Daily Reminders, that includes monthly group support, magazine-calibre articles, audio content, store discount and more
### Medium investment (££)
- Topic-focused [Video Masterclasses](https://payhip.com/gilespcroft/collection/video-masterclasses?ref=gilespcroft.com) (some of which include one-off coaching offers), to help you get a sustained shift in a specific area
### High investment (£££)
- [1:1 support packages](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals) for those who are ready for significant life change
---
> *“This is a different approach. It is deep and thought provoking but it is actually quite simple. If you really want to live your life better, I urge you to give it a go!”* \~ C.R.
---
## Learn more about Giles
[My StoryHow the events of the past helped to shape the journey I have taken.The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-story/)
Parental advice → Career choices → Insights gained along the way (TW: Suicide)
[Insight series - The Daily RemindersThe story of what happened when I was introduced to the Innate Health understanding, and what it means for you 💝The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)
A 4+2 part series of posts detailing the events that led to the creation of this website and the work I now do
### Subscribe
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/home-subscribe/
Last updated: 2025-11-26T23:33:45.000Z
## “Think less. Live more.” 💌
That's the promise of the Daily Reminders. They're written to get you out of your busy mind and **present to life**. No techniques, no rituals, just a no-nonsense look at the way our minds work, that automatically unlocks your **inner brilliance** 🤩
> *“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula V.
### Featured in
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/home-logos/
Last updated: 2025-11-21T23:51:13.000Z
[](https://gilespcroft.link/300cols?ref=gilespcroft.com)
[](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/changeable-podcast/id1434131959?i=1000473501885&ref=gilespcroft.com)
[](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1W4Zc7-y-w&ref=gilespcroft.com)
[](https://thefocus.wales/category/wellbeing/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
[](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/lessons-on-resilience-with-giles-croft-333/id1258525394?i=1000677027818&ref=gilespcroft.com)
[](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/why-youre-stressed-when-everyone-else-is-calm/id1472165023?i=1000722574288&ref=gilespcroft.com)
[](https://www.bmj.com/content/372/bmj.n395?ref=gilespcroft.com#:~:text=Focus%20on%20the%20present%2C%20not%20what%20might%20happen)
[](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/044-giles-p-croft-the-presence-of-health/id1173476690?i=1000479326372&ref=gilespcroft.com)
### What Daily Reminders Subscribers say →
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/home-reviews/
Last updated: 2025-11-29T14:43:31.000Z
#### **Sandra*
***A great way to start the day!**
“There are many unread emails in my inbox – Giles’ are not among them! It's always a fun part of my day, reading your genuine and witty emails, all highlighting this crazy human experience with much honesty and a sprinkling of humour. It's a Daily Reminder that's helpful and entertaining, thank you!”
#### **Deborah*
***So grateful to have come across these!**
“I find the Daily Reminders a thrilling, happy-making, captivating read. Giles is cheerful, humble, light, funny and REAL! I look forward to opening them each morning, save my favourites and re-read them when I want to feel inspired. (When's the book out??)”
#### **Kacey*
***Best start to the day you'll ever experience!**
“Honestly, Giles started these when I really needed it – it's been a game changer for my life. It **always* gives me a positive mindset to start the day. The Daily Reminders have massively reduced my stress levels and made me feel resilient again, thank you!”
#### **Barb*
***Appreciate the humour, personal touch and humaneness.**
“The Daily Reminders are well written, lively, human and a great, loving jolt of inspiration. It's a freeing way to start my day and helps me live life in peace and harmony. We really appreciate the time you take to do these, thank you Giles!”
#### **Katy*
***The fact it's often in real time is so cool!**
“I absolutely love the lighthearted and fun style of writing – that's what draws me to the Daily Reminders. There's no feeling of *“I should…”* when I read them, more of a delightful, *“Ooh, let's see what Giles is thinking or seeing today”* … like a lovely little gift! They pretty much *always* end up having resonance.”
#### **Mindy*
***Appreciate the effort that goes into these.**
“They're such a good Daily Reminder to get present and take things less seriously, and they always seem relevant to what I'm experiencing in the moment. Sometimes parenting is hard and I get caught up in my thinking – your emails are a good reminder to slow down.”
#### **Emma*
***They're about dropping ego, to experience wisdom - spot on!**
“I love receiving the Daily Reminders - they're a laugh out loud way of looking at the mind and its shenanigans, and spot on, for illustrating that we are not our thoughts or feelings. They're presented with great humour - they make me smile!”
#### **Melissa*
***How easy it is to take ourselves too seriously!**
“Giles has a lighthearted, quirky way of making sense of how we take our thinking and ourselves too seriously. I appreciate how the Daily Reminders frame the situations many of us find ourselves in, and how easy it is to find a new, more helpful thought.”
#### **Anna*
***Giles has changed my life!**
“I'm always such a positive person, but sometimes the mind does its thing and I can't shift the thoughts – it always wants to question **everything*… but then I receive the Daily Reminder from Giles and everything is suddenly much lighter, brighter and back to normal! Just being still, and living in my true, authentic self.”
#### **Eric*
***I like the variety.**
“We're all conditioned to look outside of ourselves for peace and wellbeing. The Daily Reminders help us to look toward where these things are **actually* found! It's a refreshing and positive take on being human… something we all need right now.”
### Topic Tabs
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/topic-list/
Last updated: 2025-11-21T08:36:33.000Z
_No content available._
### Daily Reminders Archives
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/archive/
Last updated: 2026-04-29T15:33:28.000Z
_No content available._
### 1:1 Support
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T17:59:02.000Z
🤲🏻
I work with a limited number of clients each year.
I help people who've had enough of trying to fix themselves, and are looking for real change that lasts.
If you know it's time, you'll find a short application form at the bottom of the page – speak soon! 💝
## Who I work with
The people who find their way to me have usually **tried lots of things**. They've often spent time in the world of self-help, dabbled with therapy, or meditation, medication, CBT, books, apps, coaching even, or AI support… and found that while some of it helped, none of it really *stuck.*
If you're here, there'll be something on your mind, that's **weighing you down**. It might be showing up as anxiety, overwhelm, burnout, insomnia, self-medication, anger, relationship difficulties, persistent grief, bad habits or just a feeling that you're teetering on the edge of holding it all together. (There's really no limit to the way in which our minds can make our lives a misery! 😩)
Medics, healthcare workers and other high-functioning professionals make up a good chunk of my clients – people who are very good at their jobs, have achieved success and are baffled as to **why that's not enough**.
⚠️
****This probably is** ***not** **for you if you're looking for**: cognitive therapies • coping strategies you can learn • technique-based approaches • an accountability coach • someone to help redesign your career and life-goals • therapy
I don't do any of those things and would rather be honest about that than waste your time.
## What's involved
Six 1hr sessions over Zoom, held over a three month period of support. I don't prescribe medication and you'll get no homework in the conventional sense – no journalling, worksheets or daily practices you have to commit to.
What I offer is a conversation that points you back to something you *already* have, but may have lost sight of: a natural, inbuilt state of clarity and okayness that doesn't depend on circumstance. Your **Innate Health**.
It's insight-based work, meaning that you get an entirely different perspective on how problems are being experienced, which in turn helps to resolve them naturally, and in a way that's just right for you.
Most people begin to feel better straight away, and after a few sessions, when the pieces of the jigsaw fall into place, things will appear quite different. As one client put it, *“It's deep and thought provoking but it is actually quite simple!”* – it's not difficult in any way and time spent together is lighthearted.
If you're a [Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/newsletter/) reader, you'll know roughly what you're in for. If you're not, then this one lets you know the three basic requirements for change to occur:
[Necessary ingredients for changeThe three things everybody needs, to get the change they want, whatever it is 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)
## What people say
Click to see how clients’ lives have changed, in their own words ⤵️
#### “You will not regret it!” 👍
**“I had been through a childhood abuse case where the perpetrator was convicted in the midst of which I had an acrimonious divorce with court battles. The fallout of all the above still continued while being a single working parent to three young kids. I'd had extensive therapy in the form of EMDR and had also been on anti-depressants.*
**“The reality of the situation was I found someone I enjoyed talking to and discovering new things about myself and life. Giles makes you feel as though you are just having a chat with a friend and yet so much ground is covered. He is happy to be challenged and he will challenge your thoughts in a very conversational way. He has humility and will happily share when he also struggles and that nobody is zen all the time!*
**“It was not hard or difficult. The biggest impact is that I have changed the way I think on a day to day basis. I can see when I am becoming ruffled and can stop it on most occasions. I'm living in a way that makes me happy!”*
\~ RP, UK
#### “Life changing!” 😲
**“My home life was extremely stressful and I was finding it difficult to cope each day. This had been going on for 2 years. I knew I needed something to be different but didn't know what it was. Giles had been recommended by a colleague who had taken sessions with him. I'd used all my self-care arsenal like meditation, yoga, journalling, and had counselling too, but nothing provided what I was looking for.*
**“An insight that came in the first 30 minutes of working with Giles helped me to see that my own mind was keeping me prisoner. I find I am much lighter now. I don't feel the levels of stress I once did. I feel significantly happier despite the external circumstances of my life not changing at all. My partner has noticed I am far more light hearted and my children are finding it easier to talk to me about what's going on in their lives.*
**“I love how easy Giles is to engage with and frankly I’ve found it quite fun working with him. I would encourage contacting him as I can say that my life has been changed! I feel that now I can ‘see’ what's happening, I can't ‘unsee’ it.”*
\~ PM, UK
#### “Eye opening!” 👀
**“I was working as a hospital doctor and really struggling with anxiety around work. I was consumed by worry about decisions I'd made, dreading going in, particularly on call. It was affecting my relationships and my overall mental health. I'd tried medication and CBT. I'd seen Giles talk at a conference and eventually plucked up the courage to contact him.*
**“Giles took me right back to basics and it felt so comfortable to talk to him. He helped me to see that 99% of my worry was made up by my own mind. It's not true! I can now catch myself before I spiral. I am present more often and am generally happier and more content.*
**“Giles will transform the way you see your thoughts for the better!”*
\~ HW, Senior Clinician, UK
#### “A fun journey” 😃
“**I was up against a fairly constant inner monologue of inadequacy, self-doubt and frustration that my life didn't really match up with what I thought it should look like. I'd read all the books, tried the apps, had CBT, meditated, and had done some work-life balance group coaching. I wanted to be less blown around by my thoughts and feelings as I was getting quite depressed about what they were telling me.*
**“Speaking with Giles made me appreciate that there is nothing you need to do about the thoughts and feelings – it's just helpful to notice them and have some perspective about the fact that life is happening on one level and your thoughts and feelings are happening on another level - but they aren't really linked.*
**“Speaking 1:1 has given me multiple insights that I wouldn't have gained by reading books and trying to link them to my own experiences. I have realised that I'm always ‘okay’, regardless of thoughts I'm having. I would especially recommend working with Giles if you get the sense that more strategies and homework aren't what's going to change the way you feel. I had that sense, and I'm glad I followed the intrigue.”*
\~ Nick, NHS, UK
#### “Remarkable and rewarding” ☺️
**“My sleeping patterns were awful, I was miserable most of the time, I had several habits which were mentally and physically unhealthy, I was emotionally illiterate and unsupportive of those who I wanted to help. I was also distracted by unwelcome ‘thought storms’ and the feelings that went with them, and wasn't really present much of the time.*
**“I liked that it was evidence-based with a sound scientific basis. It does require an openness to new ideas and ‘ways of being’ but I knew I was ready. I'm not saying life is perfect now, but it's a lot better, and when I do have crap days I know it's just thoughts and feelings passing through. I really liked Giles’ sense of humour – we'd fall about laughing when I realised some of the assumptions I'd been operating under!*
**“I'm in much better moods, optimistic, creative, empathic. I can concentrate much better, with sport, work and family stuff, it's bleedin’ awesome! Money very well spent.”*
\~ Jeremy, UK
## Investment
🔹
****3-month change package** – ****£2100**, to include:
• 6 x 1hr sessions over Zoom
• Text & email support between sessions
• Premium 🔖 Daily Reminders Membership
**Instalment plan available*
I don't offer single sessions to new clients. If you're not sure whether this is for you, the best place to start is the [Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/newsletter/) – free, [wide-ranging](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/), and an accurate representation of how I think and work.
People tend to know when it's time.
💝
## Apply to work with me
---
### Explore Daily Reminder Topics
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/
Last updated: 2026-03-14T16:06:13.000Z
_No content available._
### Welcome, there's something for you here 🫶🏻
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/newsletter/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T09:49:59.000Z
The **Daily Reminders** are quick hit, big impact, bitesize nuggets of wisdom designed to help you start your day on the *very* best footing. 🌿
> *“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.”* \~ Neil, UK
## Get Yours Now 💝
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
Subscribe
Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup.
No Ads, no AI, no hard sell. Unsubscribe at any time.
## The antidote to modern life…
The world goes out of its way to make us feel ‘less than’. We're all striving so hard to be good enough, successful enough, calm enough, healthy enough, wealthy enough, it's no surprise we feel so anxious and overwhelmed all the time!
**But here's the thing…**
You know very well that when you're at your best—fully present to what's right under your nose—you're more than capable of handling whatever life throws at you. We all are. It's how we're built.
And that's what the **Daily Reminders** are all about: pointing you back to that inner-wisdom. And showing you how much easier that is to access, than you might imagine.
> *“We're all conditioned to look outside of ourselves for peace and wellbeing. The *Daily Reminders* help us to look toward where these things are *actually* found! It's a refreshing and positive take on being human… something we all need right now.”* \~ Eric, USA.
## What are the Daily Reminders like?
The **Daily Reminders** go out at 7am, four times a week, and typically take less than 4 minutes to read (many are 1 or 2 minute insights). Think of them as a fun and helpful page-a-day that gets you in the right frame of mind, before the onslaught begins.
> *“A daily dose of loveliness. I smile when I read them.”* \~ Michelle, UK
### They're *Practical*
Sometimes the **Daily Reminders** are very practical – giving you the understanding you need to face everyday adversity, like this one (click on the card below, to read):
[The storm before the calmWhat if you could see that you don’t actually have to be calm, right now? ⛈️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/storm-before-the-calm/)
This one explores the [MECHANICS](https://the-daily-reminders.ghost.io/tag/mechanics/?ref=gilespcroft.com) of how our human experience works.
> *“These emails are like anti-spam software for your mind, getting rid of all the junk.”* \~ Ross, UK
[SIGN UP NOW](#/portal/signup)
### They're *Insightful*
Then there are **Daily Reminders** that look at the process of change itself; inviting you to look in a different direction for the answers you seek, like this one (click on the card below, to read):
[What this water bottle taught me about the process of changeYou don’t have to DO anything for your experience of life to change completely 😵The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/water-bottle-insight/)
Posts like this I call the [FOUNDATIONS](https://the-daily-reminders.ghost.io/tag/mechanics?ref=gilespcroft.com) of this understanding. It's different from what you're used to!
> *“A whole new way of thinking about thought - I love them!”* \~ Vanessa, Australia
[SIGN UP NOW](#/portal/signup)
### They're *Focused*
Some **Daily Reminders** are zoomed in on a very specific [topic](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/), like this one, on [Parenting](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/parenting/) (click on the card below, to read):
[“Do you worry about your daughter’s future?”If we parent from first principles, we find there’s very little to worry about 💁🏻♂️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-worry-about-your-daughters-future/)
The [IMPLICATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/implications/) of seeing the basic principles behind our experience. Everything gets easier.
> *“I love these Daily Reminders. Please don't stop sending them.”* \~ Julia, UK
[SIGN UP NOW](#/portal/signup)
### They're *Spiritual*
And sometimes we just drop all the Psychology and look inwards, having deeper, philosophical explorations of self and topics like non-duality, consciousness and free will, like in this one (click on the card below, to read):
[ParadoxWe don’t, yes we do, no we don’t have free will. Oh, make up your mind, will you?! 😖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/)
I often save up the [TRUE NATURE](https://the-daily-reminders.ghost.io/tag/true-nature/?ref=gilespcroft.com) pieces for what I call the “[Sunday Spiritual](https://the-daily-reminders.ghost.io/tag/sunday-spiritual/?ref=gilespcroft.com)” Daily Reminder
> *“The Daily Reminders are well written, lively, human and a great, loving jolt of inspiration. Thank you Giles!”* \~ Barb, Canada
[SIGN UP NOW](#/portal/signup)
### Most importantly, they're *REAL*
You know, when I was creating this home for the **Daily Reminders**, and had to choose a strap-line for my website directory entry, I *almost* chose this (instead of “[Think less. Live more](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/).”):
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/#/portal/signup)
This website is an AI content-free zone 🚫🤖
I feel *so strongly* about **being authentically human** with you, I have put together [a pledge of sorts](https://www.gilespcroft.com/daily-reminders-pledge/). This is what you can expect from me, if you choose to join the community (click the down arrow ▽ to read it).
#### The Daily Reminders Pledge 📝
****✅ Here for YOU.**
Whenever I sit down to write, I do it with YOU in mind. **What's going to help?* is my guiding light, as I start typing. That's what the ****Daily Reminders** **are*. I'm a doctor – it's all I've ever really wanted, and this is the outlet I've found. Many of you tell me that I'm part of your Mental Health-care routine, and I take that responsibility seriously.
****🚫 Not funded by Ads.**
So much stuff on the internet these days is intrusive Ads, interspersed with a little bit of content. It's a funding model, but it's not one I'll be using. The ****Daily Reminders** are Member-supported. To be clear, I want you to be led by your curiosity and go as deeply into this understanding as you wish, so I will often recommend stuff for you to read and watch, and occasionally offer additional (paid) content of mine. (Which I would **love* you to take advantage of, in order to keep the show on the road.) There might also be the odd trusted collaboration. But ***always** with Pledge #1 in mind: **Is it going to help YOU?* That's what I'm here to do, in a sustainable, and non-icky way.
✅ ****Write with integrity, honesty & consistency.**
I'm a doctor and that bit of the Hippocratic oath—**First do no harm*—matters to me. I won't BS you, make stuff up, or share anything I haven't seen with my own two eyes. Lots of what I learned at Medical School (especially around mental health) I see now is ****utter nonsense**. That means that some of the things I say may seem quite confronting, or ‘wrong’. But I'm cool with challenging your beliefs and I'm cool with **being* challenged. Shout at me in the comments if you like, I can handle it. If I make a mistake, I'll fess up.
****🚫 Not generated by AI**
I've written [entire essays](https://payhip.com/b/hSI8P?ref=gilespcroft.com) on the spiritual aspects of the creative process (d'you see what I did there, with Pledge #2?) so I'm not about to go outsourcing these outpourings of love for you, to our robot overlords. It's just not a thing. As time goes by, AI is becoming omnipresent, so I'm sure I'll mention it. I'm a tech nerd, so I don't shy away from **using* it either. Just not for writing. The Daily Reminders are sacrosanct. **Human Connection in the Artificial Age*, indeed.
****✅ Retain a lighthearted tone.**
If you look to popular spiritual teachers, aside from the fact they're all saying the exact same thing, you'll notice they all have something else in common: a great sense of humour! This is because this existence of ours is one big cosmic joke, and if you can't laugh at it, I think you might be missing the point. I will have fun writing these, so that you can have fun reading them, and be at peace with your humanity.
With love 💝 Giles
> *“Start your day off in reality, instead of heavy thinking!”* \~ Richard, USA
## Ready to get started?
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS
[](#/portal/signup)
Well then, now's the time.
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
Let’s go! 🚀
[Explore Daily Reminder TopicsWhatever you’re wrestling with, preparing for, or trying to understand more deeply, there’ll be something here for you. Every post is a reminder that you already have the resources you need to get unstuck and take the next step. Whatever the topic. 💡The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/)
Go to the Daily Reminders, organised by Topic 🗂️
### You're in!
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/dr-series-0/
Last updated: 2026-07-06T20:44:44.000Z
Welcome to the team 🥇
_This page is for subscribers only._
### Contact
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/contact/
Last updated: 2025-12-18T23:55:52.000Z
****Please use the form below, to get in touch.**
### Mountain - No Mountain - Mountain
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/mountain-no-mountain/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T10:17:23.000Z
This helpful little video explores one of my favourite topics – the path we take, in waking up to our TRUE NATURE.
(I say “little” but it is in fact 18 minutes long. Put the kettle on!)
[I WANT TO INTEGRATE THIS INTO MY LIFE](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
---
### Video transcript
*\[I know some people are readers, rather than watchers, so here's an edited transcript of the video above.\]*
Now I promised you a different diagram – we have got an exciting new diagram today, ta daa! I've been *dying* to talk about this for ages because it's one of my favourite things: **Mountain - No mountain - Mountain**.
[](https://youtu.be/Mdytu1O4JZ0?ref=gilespcroft.com)
And a bit of context for you… So this is like a Zen saying, or proverb… Alan Watts. You might have come across the philosopher Alan Watts, in one of his books he quotes a saying of a chap called Seigen Ishin, and he said:
> *“Before I had studied Zen for 30 years, I saw mountains as mountains and waters as waters.*
> *When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and waters are not waters.*
> *But now that I have got its very substance, I am at rest for it's just that I see mountains once again as mountains and waters once again as waters.”*
How cryptic is that guys?!! I love it, I absolutely love it! Now, I've been doing some work with a with a coach of my own and one of the first questions he asked me was, *“What is the journey that you that you take your clients on, you know, because they need to know that – they need to know that. What's the journey that you take your clients on?”* and this was all I could come up with:
> *“Well, it's like Mountain, and then it's No mountain, and then it's Mountain again.”*
…and he was like, *“What are you on about mate?!”*
So, allow me to explain.
## Mountain (#1)
***Experience is REAL and TRUE***
Ok. **Mountain**… this is where the world around us, uh the mountain, and everything… it all looks real… because it *is* real okay? I'm not saying it's not real (you'll be pleased to see I've got real down here as well) so it looks real but it also looks ***true*** okay? It looks true.
So this is where we're totally unaware of the Three Principles, we've never heard of the Inside-Out understanding, nobody's ever told us that 100% of our experience of life is coming from thought, we don't know that we're well beings and we lack nothing… umm, nobody's pointed out to us that everyone's just doing what makes sense given the basis of their understanding and, you know, we've maybe heard that it's good to be more present every now and again, we feel a bit present, but other than that we've not really thought about it… Well, that's **Mountain.**
And that's where everything that's happening to us—you know, it looks like life is happening *to* us—we don't really question it, it's like, *Aghh, that bad thing happened, and I feel a bit shit because that bad thing happened*, that's **Mountain** that's caught up in the Outside-In misunderstanding. That's not seeing how things actually *are.*
So then you get the exploration of **No Mountain**…
## No Mountain
***The realisation that experience is NOT TRUE***
When it comes to the process that I work with clients with, either individually or as groups, this is MECHANICS, so this is **Step 02** in my four-step process… it's four steps that we *all* really go through on this journey of waking up to our TRUE NATURE.
So **Step 01** I call FOUNDATIONS and that's even showing up. That's even asking questions about… *Hang, on, hang on a minute, shouldn't life be a bit easier? Shouldn't life be a bit more simple? How come everyone's depressed and anxious all the time?* And really questioning why that might be.
So that's FOUNDATIONS. That's being open to the idea that there's another way. That there's something that we're not seeing. So that's essential.
So then Step 02 in my four-step process I call MECHANICS. Now that's **No Mountain.** And I've put here “Not true” because although, you know, there's a there's a flip board here that I can feel, and there's a shop that I'm sat in, and I can feel this lovely… I don't know what it is, don't ask me I've not got a clue, but it's nice… My *experience* of that okay—and experience is all we get, we don't get anything else, that's your job lot, all you ever get is an experience of one moment after another—my *experience* of all of that isn't true because it happens in thought.
Because it's indirect. It's second hand.
Because the data of my environment which, like, at the fundamental level is just energy. It's just fluctuations in energy you know? We are energy. We're part of that unified field of energy at the atomic level, or the quantum level, we're all ONE.
I watched a David Bohm documentary – oh so good! ([Official website](https://www.infinitepotential.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) | [Apple TV](https://tv.apple.com/gb/movie/infinite-potential-the-life-and-ideas-of-david-bohm/umc.cmc.54gagzc8mmt782swha6iuxiqg?ref=gilespcroft.com) | [Prime Video](https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/video/detail/B0DVCGR3JS/?ref=gilespcroft.com)) He was a physicist who sort of combined quantum physics with with spirituality (which is what we're doing here, really) … whether we like it or not, at that fundamental level of being we are just energy. We're just part of this field of energy…
So I'm surrounded by energy and my right hemisphere is taking all of that in. I'm getting that in-the-moment experience from my right hemisphere…I get a *sense* of reality… I get a sense of the oneness… In the nice quiet calm moments where I'm not really questioning life and i'm just in the flow of life… I'm just getting on with things…
And then my left hemisphere creates a story about that. It says, *Well, Giles you know there's a table there, there's a camera over there… you need to talk to the camera because that's where the people are…* But you're not there! Look for all I know—seriously, this has happened once before hasn't it?—I could have lost my internet connection!
So it's not true. It's not true. It's real you know. Everyone's experience is real. And when I'm working with clients who have symptoms of this and that, it's very important to understand that the symptoms that people have and the feelings that people have it's all it's all real, yeah it's all real.
But on this exploration, when we have some insights about how we're experiencing the world and what we really *are* at the fundamental level—which is just part of this energy field—that we're all ONE. We are just part of the oneness of life that we've all felt from time to time. When you see that… then you see that this idea of being an individual—this idea of being a separate self—is made up. It's a creation of thought.
So we see that there is **No Mountain**, because it's a creation of thought. The *only* way that we can experience it is in thought because a hundred percent of our experience is in thought… and I don't mean *thinking* about something, I mean thought-perception – The Principle of Thought. How we experience the world. What Anil Seth calls ‘a controlled hallucination’ … so it's real… our experience is real for us but it's just not true.
And when people see this, you know, when we're feeling anxious about stuff and we get we get a real deep understanding of the MECHANICS of how our minds work and we really understand what anxiety is—and anxiety is just a lovely little inbuilt warning sign that we've lost sight of the fact that we are all ONE and we are just part of this energy field and the only job that we have… we don't have any jobs but the only job that we have really is a breath in and a breath out… is to BE… that's all we get really, everything else is just icing on the cake—so when we really *see* that… all these feelings that we're running away from or thoughts that we don't want to keep occurring and stuff, that none of it's true! The experience of it is real but none of it's true… well that's when a *huge* weight \[comes off\] … that's when we see *profound* transformations.
I mean, I've seen miracles working with people. Witnessing what can happen when people see that there is **No Mountain**, it's astounding. I've seen people's lives *completely* change. [I've seen 30 year long habits just dissolve](https://www.facebook.com/rachel.m.hopkins.1/posts/10156840629281251)! After 30 years of *trying* to change behaviour—of *doing* stuff—just seeing how experience works… how we're experiencing the world… GONE. Washed through with fresh new thinking; fresh new Thought; fresh new perception. So that's all this… that's **No Mountain.**
## Mountain (#2)
***Experience is REAL but NOT TRUE***
But there's very obviously a **Mountain** there, isn't there?! (It's full of delicious paradoxes, this work!) There's very obviously a **Mountain** there. There's a shop. There's other people, you know? There is duality. There is this voice in my head. There is this idea of me being me being a thing, even though at the base level that's not true. But when we've been through **No Mountain…** when the scales have fallen from our eyes… *Oh!!! You know, I don't have to be afraid any more! I don't have to be afraid of my experience – it's just thought, man! None of it's true! All of it is completely dependent on my frame of mind! All of it – 100% of it!*
Because that's what it is to be human: is to feel that moment-to-moment perceptual process. To feel that kind of like that melting pot of the data that's coming in with our biology, our conditioning, and most crucially our understanding. And when we understand *all* of that—nothing to do, only something to see—well that's when it all falls away.
### Beware spiritual bypass
But there are perils of staying here! There's peril in staying here. If we stay in there… so, like, you can go from **Mountain** to **No Mountain** and the scales can fall from your eyes… and you can have the most *amazing* insight, so it's like, *Oh my god!! Oh my god it's *all* made up!!! None of it's true! It's all made up! 100% of it is thought! Everything I'm experiencing in my life is thought!!* …
But if you stay there and you *live* from that place, well you can quite easily fall into denial. You can quite easily almost forsake the world of form… You can go *“No mate, no it's all *No Mountain*, and there's… well, bills? Nah, they're just bits of paper that's just *data* it doesn't mean anything, what? No!”*
And you know life can go to hell in a hand-cart pretty quickly. It's not *really* seeing that that it's not true…because you're still avoiding feelings. When you know that feeling and thought are exactly the same thing and thought's ethereal and it comes and it goes and it doesn't mean anything and it's not personal… when you *really* know that, then it's okay to feel. It's fine. It's just another human emotion that can't harm you—it's *impossible* to be harmed psychologically!—well then you can really *throw* yourself into life and you can enjoy all the experiences: good, bad or ugly, all of them – every last one of them! Because it just doesn't matter, it's a game. You've seen that it's not true so then you can go back to **Mountain…**
There's another brilliant Zen proverb that says something like,
> *Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.*
> *After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.*
And it's that thing where nothing's different, but everything's changed.
Because you've got a completely different perspective on it. So the difference between *this* **Mountain** (#1) and *this* **Mountain** (#2) is that we've been through this \[**No Mountain**\] … we've seen that this isn't true.
So whereas up here at **Mountain** (#1), it's real—all experience is real—and we think it's true*…* *tons* of suffering results. So then we see that it's *not* true… well, as Alan Watts put it: *“A really groovy human being”* (it was the 60s!) *“…is somebody who can mix these two”* and that's this **Mountain** (#2) down here. It's real—all experience is real, all of it—but we know it's not true.
### It's like a trip to the cinema.
It's like it's like that trip to the cinema that I'm always banging on about. We go to the cinema and there's *two* things we need to understand about cinema to really enjoy going to watch a film. Two things. The first is how film works.
When you go and watch a film you need to know it's not true, otherwise you'd be *totally* freaked out by the stuff that was going on, up on the screen. You'd be scared to death when someone came out with a knife! You'd be phoning the fire brigade every time you saw a fire up screen. So you need to know it's not true.
But then to really enjoy it, you need to buy into that illusion. You need to willingly submit to the illusion because otherwise you'll spend your time sitting in the cinema just critiquing it and you can't enjoy it because you're just there going, *Well it's not true is it? I can't enjoy this film, it's not true!*
No, no, no. You go with it. You go with the flow of it. You willingly submit yourself to the illusion and as a result you have all these amazing emotional experiences. You know, some of the most amazing experiences I've had in a cinema—laughing my head off with my fellow human beings, at really funny stuff in a cinema—I knew it wasn't true, and then I'd willingly submitted to that.
Well that's the **Mountain** (#2) down here. That's experiencing it as real, but *knowing* it's not true.
That's where you have your fun in life.
That's where you you know you're able to make decisions about stuff and get yourself unstuck about careers and things like that because you know it's not true; that your *experience* of it isn't true. You know, it's a game… at the end of the day, it's a game – life's a game!
So anyway, that's **Mountain - No Mountain - Mountain.**
💟
Giles
[I WANT TO INTEGRATE THIS INTO MY LIFE](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
### Sanity, Insanity & Common Sense
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/sanity-insanity/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T09:48:20.000Z
[](https://gilespcroft.link/sanity-insanity?ref=gilespcroft.com)
## Sanity, Insanity and Common Sense
**The Groundbreaking New Approach to Happiness**
*by Rick Suarez, Roger C. Mills & Darlene Stewart*
This amazing book is sadly out of print, and very hard to get hold of, second-hand. Thankfully someone created a PDF version of it that was freely available online for some time, before disappearing again. As at least one of the authors has passed and the publishing house is no more, I'm happy to host it, without fanfare, here in a dusty corner of my website.
Sadly, most of the diagrams, which are very helpful, got mangled when the original PDF got created, but the words are all there (I think)! You can try getting hold of a second hand copy [on eBay here](https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?%5Fnkw=suarez+sanity+insanity+book&ref=gilespcroft.com), or [on Amazon here](https://gilespcroft.link/sanity-insanity?ref=gilespcroft.com) (they get quite expensive), which also contains my rave review of this book, reproduced here for you:
[](https://gilespcroft.link/sanity-insanity?ref=gilespcroft.com)
If everybody settled in to read this book, to truly understand the way their life is being shaped, the world would be a better place.
💖
There's nothing more to say about it, so enjoy the read. It's a real page-turner!
[Sanity Insanity and Common Sense - Suarez, Mills & StewartDirect Download of the PDFSanity Insanity and Common Sense - Suarez Mills Stewart.pdf1 MBdownload-circle](https://www.gilespcroft.com/content/files/2026/01/Sanity-Insanity-and-Common-Sense---Suarez-Mills-Stewart.pdf "Download")
### Subscribe to the Daily Reminders
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/subscribe/
Last updated: 2026-07-28T07:45:18.000Z
## Get your very own Daily Reminder 💝
Quick hit, big impact nuggets of daily wisdom to help you think less and live more.
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
Subscribe
Email sent! Check your inbox to complete your signup.
No Ads, no AI, no hard sell. Unsubscribe at any time.
### My Story
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-story/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T10:20:44.000Z
View down Cwm Nant Bwch towards Hatterill Hill, The Black Mountains, Wales | Photo by Giles
# My Story
> *“You'll spend more of your life at work, son, so make sure you enjoy what you do.”*
> \~ My Dad, circa 1986
Such pearls of wisdom are seldom dispensed from a place of deep career satisfaction and I think that teenage Giles probably clocked this fact (despite cringing at the unsolicited parental advice). My father—a self-made carpenter who earned his crust teaching at the local technical college—was downhearted about work again and wanted to make sure I didn’t settle for anything less than my life’s true passion.
Only one problem. I didn’t have a clue what I wanted.
So I chose second best: the resolute pursuit of qualification and achievement. If I couldn’t be one of those people who’d always had a dream to pursue, then the least I could do was something worthwhile; a challenging career that would bring riches and satisfaction and stability and respectability and… all that in itself would bring on the enjoyment, surely?
I took a characteristically roundabout route to it—the dossing around at school that precluded any inspiring university offers; a consequent year out before, then another, by design, during my studies—but eventually I qualified as a doctor. And then, seduced by the glamour of it all, trained as a surgeon.
It was great and I did enjoy what I was doing. I was wholeheartedly committed. It was deeply satisfying. I worked hard and I played hard. I made a difference. The values I held were being met and, for a time, all was well.
I was on a ward round when the call came. He’d gone missing. Plagued for most of his life by the ups and downs of bipolar disorder, my Dad, in a trough of unfathomable despair, had disappeared. Left his partner’s house one winter’s evening, and not come back.
I mean, what do you do with that?
I know what I did: I worked harder. Given I was essentially powerless to change the situation, all I could think to do was to throw myself more keenly into my travails. Extra shifts, more pay, bigger nights out… I folded myself deep in the comforting embrace of a high stress job, where paying scant regard to personal torment (all in the name of alleviating the suffering of others) was a badge to be worn with pride.
Surgeons. They were my people.
---
It was a full year (a strange year) before they found his body and the discarded pill bottle. Under a tree. In the corner of a field. Near a motorway. The field in which he’d chosen to lie down, for the last time, that bitter winter night.
This man, who’d literally whistle while he worked, who knew the answer, resplendent in all its finery, divine in its blindingly glorious simplicity—*“Enjoy what you do”*—had become a prisoner of thought, succumbed to the stories he told himself, lost sight and given up.
This most painful of experiences afforded me a brutal, obvious insight:
> **Life is short, fragile and wholly unpredictable.**
---
It was a further three years (relentless years) before I stopped to take a breath, finally looking around me to reassess against this, my father’s most basic of criteria. I was at one of medicine’s staging posts—the final push to consultant-hood—and I afforded myself the luxury of being honest with myself.
Oh. It was apparent that I was no longer enjoying what I did.
It had taken years of working for the largest establishment in the UK to realise I actually wanted to work for myself. And I’d attained everything I’d pushed towards—the best jobs, the right research, the qualifications, the ability to nap on a dime—yet remained unfulfilled at a fundamental level. It was bloody hard work and I couldn’t shake the feeling that life should somehow be a bit easier than this.
Seeking inspiration I looked to my seniors – to the default life I knew I’d end up with if I stayed the course. Perhaps it got easier once you’d made it to the top? One and all they exhibited the trappings of success—money, status, families, houses, cars, holidays—but while some of them seemed happy enough, others were patently miserable.
It got me thinking, and in retrospect the slow and steady incorporation into my psychology of two simple facts changed the course of my life:
> **Stuff ‘out there’ can’t make us happy**
> **There is no finish line**
---
Along with these new insights crept the notion that more than not enjoying what I did (for the most part, the work itself was still satisfying, even if the working conditions were increasingly dreadful), I was no longer enjoying who I was pretending to be.
You see, I’d always felt strongly about cultivating a decent crop of outside interests, but this marvellous surgical career that I was acting out had ensured they’d all withered on the vine. And that *didn’t* really feel like me.
There were also aspects of the system I was working in that I really wanted to change, in order to benefit patients and staff alike (most notably the way we mismanaged healthcare information). And that *did* feel like me.
So I listened to that inner guidance and, even though it ‘wasn’t the done thing’, I started having conversations about what I wanted. I looked into it. Quietly asked people about it. Was enthusiastic about it. Looked for a path; for how to make it real, in a way that was congruent with my bigger dream for how my life should be (i.e. easier, with more time to ride my bike).
The route I took was a bit of a hack-a-thon, truth be told. Messy. Unpredictable. Awkward. Yet somehow, in amongst the discovery of a great many bramble-strewn dead ends, a path was created. One that was fulfilling, and that matched my ever-evolving values. An expression of my True Nature that arose simply from doing the things I was genuinely enthusiastic about.
It was my path. A manifestation of me.
This was the biggest insight yet. A game changer. An aspect of the human experience I see time and again in myself, and for friends and family, and with all my clients.
> **The more we are our-selves, the better results we get.**
---
I’d left a chronically vocational career to do something else that I really enjoyed, and it had turned out ok. I mean, who knew *that* was possible?! Over time, buoyed by my successes, I learned to trust that inner voice and I really started playing with it.
Having an employer no longer felt like me, and I became self-employed.
Entertaining people with ripping yarns about my two-wheeled adventures did feel like me, and I became a features writer for my favourite cycling magazine.
Experimenting on myself in order to lead the way for others seemed like the most natural thing in the world for me, and I became a speaker at conferences, sharing my understanding of human psychology and how it pertained to the process of career change.
And all these things just seemed to click into place for me. The circumstances that led to them were totally out of my control. I never really had a plan, beyond knowing what I wanted, to the somewhat uninspiring level of detail that I was pretty sure I’d recognise it, if it showed up.
And it always did.
What’s more, I never really thought that much about what was going on at all, or exactly how things should be. (My epitaph: He was never one to dwell.) And you know what? This meant that things never turned out how I imagined.
They usually turned out better.
So. This final one has taken a while for me to grow into, but trust me when I tell you… it unlocks everything.
> **Our intuitive voice knows where to take us, moment to moment. And the ‘chatter’ of insecure thinking is the only thing that ever drowns it out.**
---
My story is your story. It’s the human story.
Because, at the fundamental level, we’re all having the same experience. And beneath all the noise of who we *think* we are, we’re all doing just fine.
We transcend the worst things that have happened to us and in doing so, it makes us who we are. It stretches us to reveal a version of our selves we didn’t know existed.
And from that place, we grow.
---
On this journey, through experimentation and insight, I have re-learned what you and I already know of the world:
- That life is short, and it’s unpredictable
- That the stuff you accumulate can’t make you happy
- That being your-self is where it’s at
- That your gut instinct knows what’s best for you
- That over-thinking things is counter-productive
- That, when you’re honest with yourself, you know there is no finish line.
---
With love
💟
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
If you know it’s time to go beyond the circumstances of your life; that it’s time to grow into the hero of your own personal journey, then let’s spend some time together and make that happen.
You can learn more about the work I do with individuals, and then, when you're ready, get in touch for support by visiting this page.
[LEARN MORE ABOUT 1:1 WORK WITH ME ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Count me in ✓
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/count-me-in/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T10:16:21.000Z
_This page is for subscribers only._
### Hosted images
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hosted-images/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T09:48:32.000Z
Dr GPC logo 1.png
Dr GPC logo 2.png
Email favicon.png
Facebook favicon.png
GPC hands logo favicon.png
LinkedIn favicon.png
Phone favicon.png
Twitter favicon.png
Web favicon.png
### Transitions - Disc 3: Sleep Mix
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/transitions-disc-3-sleep/
Last updated: 2026-09-04T22:46:02.000Z
This was the last of the three discs that I compiled, and compared with the second (Disc 1; which took *forever* to pull together), this one I mixed in a single night! I had a handful of must-have tracks I knew I wanted to include and then once I’d got the idea of putting on paired tracks from the same artists, it was a piece of cake.
_This page is for subscribers only._
## Posts
### Do you let bruises heal?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-let-bruises-heal/
Last updated: 2026-09-09T08:27:14.000Z
> *“Ooh I love this, so simple and so bloody true - thank you, great reminder!”*
> \~ Julie, UK
Genuine question: do you let bruises heal?
Or do you keep prodding them?
🧐
I’m guessing you leave them alone.
Because on some level you understand that life energy/the wisdom of the mind-body/your innate health will just get on with it in the background.
A silent, invisible process.
---
But oh how our tune changes when it’s a bruised ego, or a psychological thwack we’ve received from another person, or something that’s happened.
Repeatedly thinking about it is the equivalent of repeatedly prodding the bruise.
It doesn’t give life energy/the wisdom of the mind-body/your innate health the chance to do its stuff in the background: to heal, to process silently and invisibly.
To provide perspective.
We innocently re-traumatise our selves every time we prod that bruise.
How about you stop doing that?
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Putting your hand back in the fireWe wouldn’t dream of doing this, physically. So why is it ok to do it mentally? 🤦🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-your-hand-back-in-the-fire/)
Ditto.
### Permission to be happy
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/permission-to-be-happy/
Last updated: 2026-09-07T06:00:28.000Z
I've been working with a client recently, who's gradually coming out from beneath a long-standing dark cloud.
They emailed me the other day and said something that stopped me in my tracks – something that hit the nail on the head so squarely, I asked if I could share it, and they said yes.
(Thank you 🥰)
We'd been talking about the [outside-in illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/outside-in-perils/)—how it looks like ‘in order to’ experience happiness and contentment we need to change our circumstances to be ‘just so’—and they fessed up that,
> *“I've been living this way for a long long time … change this in order to be ok and feel alright”*
Yeah, me too. I'd had [46 years of smashing myself](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/) up against life, trying to wrestle happiness out of *it*, until someone pointed out to me that actually it was [already within me](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/).
😳
And you know what? I'm human, so I get seduced by my own thinking with alarming regularity, still. They went on:
> *“I don't feel alright, quite a bit.”*
And again, ditto. I bet a lot of us ‘don't feel alright quite a bit’ too (dear reader, you are *not* alone). But there's a hidden reason for some of that, and this is what my client hit on, so pointedly, when they detailed exactly *how* they were gradually coming out from beneath their long-standing dark cloud:
> *“I notice that when I do feel alright, I notice this much more and in a way don’t allow myself to get upset that I am feeling OK, as if I don’t deserve to.”*
Oh my word, that's it! There it is!
🙌🏻
## Patterns of thinking
We are creatures of habit. I remember reading something by the neuroscientist Dr Lisa Feldman Barrett about how we’ve evolved for energy conservation, and that means finding a way of doing something mentally, and then sticking with it. Thinking differently is costly!
So if we have little scripts running, like *‘I need x, y or z to be like this in order to feel ok’*, then the pattern-loving mind is going to hold these effortless-looking [superstitions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitions/) in place. Because the prospect of working hard to overcome them is too much for it.
(Which is why I think a lot of people get put off properly exploring the Innate Health understanding – because it *can* look like it’s another [philosophy to take on board](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-not-a-philosophy/), or a wellbeing system that they [have to sign up to](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-one-solution/#the-betting-on-horses-metaphor), or it’s going to involve committing to [a regular practice](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-to-apply-what-ive-learned/). It’s really not!)
## Not ok to feel ok
Another of those sneaky little patterns that get embedded by our conditioning is the *‘It’s not ok to feel ok‘* superstition, which is where my client had been at, *“for a long long time.”*
When we’re surrounded by messages telling us we have to work *hard* at feeling good (the entire premise of the ‘Personal Development’ industry), then feeling good without effort feels… wrong.
Add in to that a lifetime’s trying to do the ‘right thing’ by our parents and our teachers, or storing up old experiences of having been *shamed* by said guardians… and you’ve got yourself a cast iron formula for not feeling good. For a long long time!
🤷🏻
It reminds me of a fantastic bit of Jack Pranky’s book [Modello](https://amzn.to/3SO15iM?ref=gilespcroft.com), that details what happened when the Innate Health understanding was brought into a severely deprived, inner-city community.
One of the residents, Rosie, thought it was a load of baloney, until she realised this same, devastatingly simple fact:
😮
You already **have* permission to feel ok. Without condition.
Talking about working with Dr Roger Mills, the Innate health practitioner who was running things, she said,
> *“At first it didn’t make a lot of sense because to be happy, you’ve been programmed to think that’s hard work; it’s not something that’s natural. But he proved me wrong! It’s not hard work. I don’t have to beat myself in the head when I get happy!”*
😆
I mean it sounds a bit silly when you type it out, but *all* of us are guilty of doing this, one way or another. It’s subtly-undermining, societally-conditioned [superstitious thinking](https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitious-thinking/).
But it’s a trick of the mind that you can see through, allowing yourself to actually experience your god-given right: **to be happy!**
In the book, Rosie concluded:
> *“I don’t get upset any more when I get happy, because there are people who always say that if you get too happy, something is going to happen. So you be so happy and you’re wondering,* ‘Why am I feeling so good today? God, something is going to happen! I got to hurry up and get myself in a bad mood, because something is going to happen!’*”*
(I’ve listened to that bit of the audiobook a few times, and I laugh out loud every time – it’s brilliant! 😂)
## Unlearning can take time
The fact that I write to you about the Innate Health understanding several times a week, and that this website is dedicated to examining it from every. possible. angle, *can* give the impression that there’s a lot to learn or understand.
But that’s just a function of how damned sticky the outside-in illusion is, when in reality the whole thing pretty much boils down to this:
😀
****Recognising that it’s ok to feel happy.**
Now, if the mind’s been very noisy for a long long time, then feeling good—unconditionally—is going to feel really frickin’ *alien* at first. It’s going to feel spectacularly wrong!
Which is why it can take some time to unlearn the (mind’s) ‘need’ to be unhappy, or bothered, or stressed.
It might even take a bit of [practice](https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice/).
Not the *effortful* kind.
The *noticing* kind.
Which is why I show up for you in your inbox several times a week, and will continue to do so for as long as I can.
💝
Giles
p.s. Big love and big thanks to my glorious client, who sparked this whole train of thought with their honesty and openness – you rock! 😍
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Always asking questions
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/always-asking-questions/
Last updated: 2026-09-04T06:00:30.000Z
> **“Why this? Why that?”**
> *\~ Howard Jones, “Always Asking Questions”*
If you’ve got kids (or you’ve got a mind), you’ll know this one.
I used to think it would be a phase my daughter grew out of, but no.
The questions are just different these days.
And depending on my current [level of consciousness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/), when faced with an endless barrage of increasingly unanswerable questions, I’ll either:
1. Answer them logically, to the best of my ability
2. Really get into nonsense mode with her, spiralling the two of us into a Daddy-Daughter-bonkers-fest, where we both end up in fits of laughter
3. Ignore her, hoping it will eventually stop
4. Lose my rag, shout and end up begging her to please shut up and leave me alone.
All part of the human experience. All welcome.
---
So this one day, I’m veering between **a.** and **c.**
But verging on **d.**
And I think to prevent the loss of rag and ensuing explosion, I find myself suddenly singing that particular Howard Jones song out loud – [*Always Asking Questions*](https://youtu.be/OFBYc-NKfJo?ref=gilespcroft.com). And then—bless her—she comes up with a solution.
> *“I know, Dad! Is it ok if I sellotape my mouth shut?!”*
😆
Having had enough, I just shrug, so she does!
> *“It won’t help,”* I suggest, *“it’s not your mouth that’s the problem - your mind will carry on talking!”*
But this is what we do, isn’t it?
- The mind talks →
- We listen to it →
- We believe it and we try and [do its bidding](https://www.gilespcroft.com/three-ways-to-deal-with-a-busy-mind/), because it looks like the way to be happy is to do/get/change what it *says* to do/get/change →
- All manner of weird and wonderful human behaviours ensue (some get [given diagnostic labels](https://www.gilespcroft.com/diagnoses-the-power-and-the-peril/)) →
- The mind doesn’t like the [habits & behaviours](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/) it observes (that *it’s* the root cause of, FFS!! 🙄) →
- And we end up trying and [change the *behaviours*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/stop-trying-to-change-your-behaviour/), thinking *that’s* going to solve the problem!
🤦🏻♂️
Bonkers.
Anyway, all she discovered from sellotaping up her mouth was that she couldn’t eat her breakfast, and when you sneeze, it’s way messier 🤷🏻♂️😂
---
Your mind will *always* be asking questions. That’s just what minds do.
You don’t have to stop it.
But you also don’t have to listen to it.
And that’s a way better solution than sellotaping up your mouth.
💟
Giles
p.s. If your mind is a full-on blabbermouth that makes your life a misery and you’ve tried everything you can to shut it up, or even ignore it, and are getting nowhere, then isn’t it time we had a chat? Because you know by now that I can help, don’t you?
Don’t take my word for it. This came in from a client, kind enough to detail some of their experience (thank you! 🥰):
> *“My home life was extremely stressful and I was finding it difficult to cope each day. This had been ongoing for 2 years. Life felt very heavy and I was very stuck in my way of thinking about my situation … In reality, an insight which came in the first 30 minutes of working with Giles helped me to see that my own mind was keeping me a prisoner. I could ‘see’ the closed system that was keeping me trapped in the situation. It was really what I was looking for when I had been looking for support in other places … I would really recommend working with Giles. I love how easy he is to engage with and frankly I’ve found it quite fun working with him. I would encourage contacting him as I can say that *my life has been changed*.”*
Can’t say fairer than that!
So come and get your very own breakthrough. Follow the link below, let me know where you're at, using the form at the bottom of the page, and I'll be in touch shortly!
[GET 1:1 SUPPORT NOW](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
### I burnt myself and it taught me all sorts
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-burnt-myself-and-it-taught-me-all-sorts/
Last updated: 2026-09-02T06:00:22.000Z
> *“Yeah, steam's invisible!”*
It's my wife. Partly empathising with me; partly chastising me for being such a total idiot.
The kettle's too close to the teabags and today, half asleep, I absent-mindedly reached across a plume of super-heated, just-boiled kettle-steam and received the ultimate wake-up call.
🔥
***OWWWWWWW!!!**
The speed with which I reacted was eye-opening in itself. Our evolved reflexes are primary and we're so attuned to removing ourselves from damaging physical stimuli, it's quite amazing.
**And yet…**
Even though mind and body are all part of the same [self-healing system](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mental-immune-system/), we've somehow de-volved, or lost the reflex of doing this with damaging *psychological* stimuli (if we ever had it in the first place).
So often a painful mental stimulus enters our consciousness, and what do we do – say *Owwwwwww!!!* and remove ourselves from it, immediately?
🤔
No, we welcome it in, treat it as gospel, give it the royal treatment, examine it from every angle, add more fuel to the fire with layered meaning and consequence, and then find ourselves wondering…
- where this [mental health diagnosis](https://www.gilespcroft.com/diagnoses-the-power-and-the-peril/) we've been given came from?
- why we have trouble trusting others and having [fruitful relationships](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-having-a-relationship-in-your-head/)?
- why we comfort eat, or [drink so much](https://www.gilespcroft.com/abstainiversary/)?
- why we feel [immobilised by decisions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/procrastination/)?
- why we [lose our rag](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/anger/) at the drop of a hat?
- why [we can't focus](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-praise-of-boredom/) for more than 5 seconds at a time?
And ***all*** of it can be traced back, ultimately, to this one thing:
💭
****Our relationship to our thinking**
(#justsayin’)
We might not have a built-in reflex to let painful *thoughts* go that's quite as effective as the *physical* one, but the signal's there nonetheless – consistently, reliably.
All we need to do is stay attuned to our feelings, and when we sense the pain or heaviness of the mind jumping on that [train of thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trains-of-thought/)… get off.
Drop it like the [burning object it is](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-your-hand-back-in-the-fire/) and let the healing commence.
❤️🔥
Giles
Time to CHANGE **your* relationship to your thinking?
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Struggling with one of those bullet-points above? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Related
[When you’re readyHealing doesn’t always mean an end to experiencing past traumas. It \*does\* mean that experience changes 💗The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-youre-ready/)
It's not denial. It's a timing thing.
### How to make someone feel insecure
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-make-someone-feel-insecure/
Last updated: 2026-08-31T06:00:16.000Z
There’s a very simple equation to making someone feel insecure.
I see it all the time when I'm working 1:1 with people, and a while back it hit me square in the face too.
I'd been invited to give a talk about the work I do for organisations, helping staff with stress and overwhelm, and was on a Zoom call with someone, ascertaining the lie of the land, in advance of working out what I was going to offer them.
One of the natural questions to ask therefore was,
> *“So who’s likely to be in this meeting?”*
And that’s when the insecurity-inducing equation reared its head. It goes like this:
😨
Give someone just a **little* piece of data about a future event.
That’s it! Pure simplicity.
This is *all* that’s required for the mind to take that and run with it, filling in all the gaps and creating a massive, anxiety-inducing story about what’s going to happen, in a future *it’s* making up, but can never experience.
😫
In a way, a *little* piece of information is worse than *no* information, because it gives the mind a jumping-off point that sounds real and concrete – data points to string together with its nonsense.
So as I was being told about all the important-sounding roles held by the people who'd be in the room, the Giles Ego Construct 📦—which, if you remember, thinks that *it* has to deliver the presentation 🙄—starts cacking itself and I had to stop this person…
> *“Hang on, hang on, stop. I’ve heard enough. Do you have any idea what my mind’s doing, right now?!”*
## So, what are the implications here?
1️⃣
Well, the first is for when this next happens to you. You now know what’s going on. You know what your mind is doing with the insecurity equation.
And you know that *it’s* the source of the anxiety, *not* the future event (which hasn’t even happened, and may never happen)!
You can completely discount it.
2️⃣
The second is for when you’re with someone else who has this happen to them. You might be the one giving them just a little piece of data about a future event, or it might be someone else. (It happens all the time, it’s part of life, and work.)
And now you can be mindful of what *their* mind is doing with the insecurity equation as well… so if they look a little like a rabbit in the headlights, you’ll know why, and can offer your support.
Knowing how stuff works means we don't have to be freaked out by it.
There we go – it's in the workplace too:
> *“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”*
> \~ Sydney Banks
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Additive vs. subtractiveHad you ever considered that you really \*are\* enough? ☺️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/additive-vs-subtractive/)
What happens when we ****subtract** misunderstanding?
### The joy of being wrong
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-joy-of-being-wrong/
Last updated: 2026-08-30T06:00:07.000Z
I made another mistake. A costly one.
And I could not be happier!
😆
I have only one bike these days. I sold all the others. They were tailored to a fitter, younger, way more flexible version of this meat-suit I carry around, and therefore wholly unsuitable for my 50-something frame.
I love my bike. It's my ticket to adventure. To freedom. To the outdoors and new experiences and trees and mountains and weather and fitness and challenge and physical exhaustion and goals and travel and solitude and silence and community and conversation. It does it all!
But I've only got the one these days. So if it breaks, I'm a bit screwed.
## It started breaking
They're mechanical beasts (certainly the one I ride), so things wear out on them (certainly with the miles I put in).
There's the obvious—bald tyres, broken lights, stretched chains, snapped cables—but then there's the less obvious, hidden stuff too: worn out components that manifest in other ways.
A slight wobble to the steering. A subtle grinding sensation underfoot.
A noise, that drives you nuts.
Like the clicking and creaking that I ignored at first, but then grew, over the weeks. Initially I only heard it when I was out of the saddle and pushing down through the frame hard, but eventually it started clicking when I was just tootling along effortlessly, too.
Nothing was loose. Everything was clean and well-oiled. (We run a tight ship, here at Croft's Cycling Emporium. 🤓)
So I knew what it was.
There was only one thing it *could* be.
It was the sodding bottom bracket. The most inaccessible, internal bit of the bike where the cranks are attached to the frame.
🔧
(The bottom bracket gets the most punishment of all the bits of the bike, it's in use with every pedal revolution and it's the most exposed to the weather too. Years ago, when I lived by the seaside in Swansea, the salt air hermetically sealed the bottom bracket to the metal frame and I had to buy a brand new bike when the bottom bracket wore out, which obviously was a huge shame. 😉)
There's a dizzying array of *kinds* of bottom bracket too, which means they're kind of like the cyclist's nemesis (certainly mine).
## Enter the mechanic
I've been tinkering with bikes since I was in short trousers and can do most jobs myself, but this newfangled ride of mine has some fairly proprietary components and I knew I needed help, and special tools, to replace it.
The Giles Ego Construct 📦 was *not* amused by this state of play (minds like to think they're in control, had you noticed?), and it started to worry. How much would it cost? How would I ensure I got the right part? What if it didn't fix the problem? Why has it worn out now? How much damage was I doing, riding it like this?
It worried every time I went out for a ride and I heard the noise. And it worried whenever I *thought* about going out for a ride.
Which pretty much covers my entire existence.
💁🏻♂️ 🚴🏻♂️ ❤️
I did some research, got in touch with a recommended someone who comes round to your house to sort your bike out for you, explained the problem, and between us we sourced the parts and agreed a time.
A fancy-schmancy bottom bracket that's supposed to eliminate these problems came out, tools-I-don't-have and expertise-I've-not-accrued were put to good use and a new one went in. A quick test ride up and down the road was almost entirely noise-free – ‘silent’, compared to how it *had* been.
Sorted.
It had cost me, but it was worth it. I was ready for the next 8,000km on a brand new bottom bracket.
🙌🏻
## You know what happened next
On my next long ride, the noise re-appeared with a vengeance. Which meant the Giles Ego Construct 📦 went absolutely batshit crazy.
What if it *wasn't* the bottom bracket?! But then again, it *had* to be. I'd ruled out everything else, quite methodically. Which meant I didn't *know* where the noise was coming from. Maybe the frame itself? That's all that's left, surely? Had I damaged it somehow, over-tightening the cranks or something?! Oh god, I can't afford a new bike! But I can't ride it like this! What's wrong with it?! Have I broken it?! I don't know what to do!
😫
It was pretty bad in there, people. It doesn't take much to get a Giles Ego Construct's 📦 snow globe all shaken up, especially when it comes to bikes, and according to **it*, the rest of life wasn't really going to be much fun.
I'd had a good run with the new bike—two years of unbridled fun—but it was over now.
Sadness descended upon me.
*Very* reluctantly, I reached out to the mechanic.
*Very* nobly, he offered to come back out and re-do it for me. Rode the bike again. Tightened things back up again. The noise went away again.
This time we were both *super*\-hopeful.
🤞🏻
## Losing the plot
I'd love to say that was the end of it, but if it was, I doubt I'd be writing about it.
Because of course on the very next ride it returned again, worse than ever, and I started to spiral.
I found myself quizzing AI for suitable replacement bikes within my price range (I'm skint, I don't *have* a price range 🤦🏻♂️) and realistically staring down the only alternative the mind could furnish me with – I'd have to just stop cycling.
My life as I knew it, was over.
🚳🪦💐
My final act as a cyclist was to be a weekend away with my 12 year old daughter, that we'd had planned for months, with me shepherding her through the longest bike ride of her life to date—63 miles in a day!—and essentially handing over the baton.
That's it now. One generation of cyclists stops. Another begins.
(It's *such* a drama queen, the Giles Ego Construct 📦 🙄)
I had the presence of mind to realise nothing could be done before the trip away, so I busied myself getting both our bikes ready for the adventure: cleaning, adjusting, oiling; fitting panniers, swapping pedals out to touring ones, pumping tyres up to the right pressure.
Mentally I was steeled for a full weekend's noisy riding and then the strangest thing happened…
## A revelation of wrongness
The noise disappeared!!
😲 🥳 🙌🏻
From the first pedal stroke, all the way through a full weekend's riding, in the saddle, out of the saddle… there was not one peep out of it.
It was completely silent.
His & Hers on the Gloucester & Sharpness Canal. I could not be more proud of that girl.
I could have wept with joy.
It was immediately apparent from the only significant change I'd made—swapping the pedals over—that when I got home I'd be able to identify the real culprit.
Upon my return I squizzed at my main pedals I usually ride with, and sure enough, the threads on them were filthy (that's a before-after picture, at the top).
And of course, a quick clean and re-grease was all it took to restore order to Giles' World of Cycling.
I mean, *seriously.*
🤦🏻♂️
## The joy of being wrong
This whole ridiculous, expensive episode got me thinking;
🤔
Does being **right* about something (or at least **thinking* we're right), ever bring about anything but bother?
Even if we *are* right about something (usually in proving a point, eh?) the shine wears off very quickly and ego just goes looking for something else to be ‘right’ about, not long after.
Whereas in my experience, being *wrong* always seems to deliver more peace of mind.
By definition, in such circumstances ego has an idea of reality that it's serving up to me—*“I'm right about this. I know I am.”*—which turns out to be nonsense.
And what I'm left with is a silenced ego and a situation that's a little more closely aligned with reality.
What's not to like?
I think being wrong is brilliant!
😁
Giles
p.s. for the cyclists among you, before you go trying to silence your noisy bottom bracket, for the love of all that's good, watch this YouTube video first, because—as the man says, and as I have so aptly demonstrated with this sorry tale—IT'S NEVER THE BOTTOM BRACKET!! 😆
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Cycling - The Daily RemindersYou may think children are our best teachers, but actually it’s the humble bicycle, both outdoors and in 🚴🏻♂️The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/cycling/)
Go on then, binge-read all the cycling stuff while you're at it 🚴🏻♂️❤️
### “Trying to apply what I've learned”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-to-apply-what-ive-learned/
Last updated: 2026-08-28T06:00:07.000Z
Is this you? Trying to apply what you've learned? Trying to put the Daily Reminders into practice?
It came up in a conversation just the other day. Someone whose life has been deeply impacted by the Innate Health understanding had hit a bit of a sticky patch and those words literally left their mouth:
> *“I'm trying to apply what I've learned.”*
(The implication being that they were *trying*, but failing, therefore what were they doing wrong?)
There seemed to be a big decision in the offing, and the mind was getting in on the action. So I heard all about the sticky patch—the details, the perceived consequences, the seeming inability to ‘get out of it’—and then their assessment of the situation.
It was all thinking, wasn't it? What are we like, us humans?! All sped up! They knew this—they *knew* it was all nonsense—so they'd been trying to apply what they'd learned:
- Trying to pay less attention to the mind
- Trying to shut it up
- Trying to take it less seriously
- Trying to be more present
- Trying to find peace of mind
They were doing what make sense to them, in each moment that came along.
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us
It was all very innocent: the mind *trying* to help out because it can’t know presence.
Oh the irony! The one thing it truly craves is **only ever experienced when it’s not there** so it can’t know it, or reproduce it.
🙃
Therefore it was scrabbling around, looking *everywhere* for peace of mind—practices, different perspectives, the perfect ‘work-life balance’, other people's opinions, one identity over another—but all it was doing was playing out one *“*[*I'll be happy when…*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)*”* script after another.
When the answer was NOW.
(Now's the only thing we can ever actually experience, so the answer's pretty obvious really.)
I gently pointed this out.
📕
There is no ‘how to’ because ‘how to’ denotes some future set of circumstances and you can't experience the future.
They came to a standstill, dropped back into presence and found what they'd been looking for was there all along.
## You, too.
So if you ever find yourself [trying to](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/) ‘put the Daily Reminders into practice’, or trying to ‘apply what you've learned’, just remember.
What the mind is looking for, is *already* within you.
It's Now.
The mind just doesn't know that, and it never can.
So you can relax.
You're already doing it.
😘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Are you trying to figure it out?Why our usual models for change don’t work for wellbeing & fulfilment 💝The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-trying-to-figure-it-out/)
It's not school. But the mind ***thinks** it is.
### The truth about stress
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-truth-about-stress/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T06:00:45.000Z
Anyone who knows me well or has worked with me will know that I *love* the work of [Richard Carlson](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard%5FCarlson%5F%28author%29?ref=gilespcroft.com).
(If quizzed about deceased people I’d dream about having dinner with, I’d agonise over whether it would be him or [Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com), the enlightened Scottish welder. But then since Richard Carlson was a *student* of Syd Banks, I think I’d choose the former to get all the gossip on the latter! 😆)
Anyway, I love Richard Carlson's books *so much* that most years I have his page-a-day calendar sat on my desk, dishing out common sense wisdom across a variety of topics.
Some are a bit saccharine, others *too* pithy, and then occasionally one of them will be *so* on-the-nose that it'll feel like manna from heaven and I feel compelled to write about it. Which is exactly what happened with this one, all about stress: what it is and how it works.
- I ripped it off and decided it was a keeper.
- Then, over a few days, I kept looking at it.
- Then I found myself highlighting it.
- And here I am, writing about it. It's such a doozy.
It’s like a laser-beam of common sense comin’ atcha: **BOOM** 💥 in your face. Take *that*, idiot human! What on *earth* were you thinking?!
😆
Let’s have a look at it line by line, shall we, see what Richard’s telling us here?
> ***“Stress is a distraction”***
A distraction from what, you may ask?
From your divinity! From your very *being.* From God. From life energy. From Innate Health. From the tender, loving hands of grace.
*→ Try not to get too distracted from that, peeps. It’s frickin’ awesome.*
---
> ***“It interferes with clear and logical thinking”***
If you’re anything like me, you certainly won’t be able to tell the wood from the trees—i.e. see *clearly*—when you’re distracted by stress.
But what about logic? It's funny, we’ve somehow grown to associate the word ‘logic’ with analysis and left-brain computer-mind stuff, but the etymology of the word is actually from the Greek, ‘logos’, which means ‘the divine Word’.
Stress is like static. It’s white noise that obscures what life is telling you.
*→ Don’t tune that stuff out, you plum, it’s what you’re here for!*
---
> ***“It makes wisdom, insights and creativity more difficult to bring forth”***
What did I just say? It’s static on the line. Wisdom, insight and creativity are your birthright. You can’t ever be separate from them, but you sure as hell can get distracted from them. **By stress**. Why would you want to do that?
*→ Don’t do that!*
---
> ***“Stress is also exhausting, robbing you of valuable and precious energy – both physical and emotional”***
Had you noticed this?
It takes ***no*** energy to rest in presence (and when I say ‘rest’ I don’t mean literally lying down or sitting cross-legged in a dark room, I just mean **being in life**, not your head) and go *with* whatever’s happening, [instead of fighting it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-a-van/).
And that doesn’t mean [you can’t change stuff](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-up-with-things/), it just means being OK with what *is*, as your starting point; being able to handle it, without freaking out.
Check in with your own experience, but for me it takes a *lot* of effort to keep returning to stressful thoughts in my head.
*→ Really not advised.*
---
> ***“The more stressed-out you are, the more quick-tempered you become”***
Hell yeah. I want to rage-smash things when I’m really invested in my stress.
I’m so focused on the needs of the Giles Ego Construct 📦 and how *desperately important* he, and all of his problems are, that everyone else is basically just getting in the way.
*“Oh, I’d love to help/listen/be present/have fun/live my frickin’ life with you, but can’t you see I’m too busy being stressed right now?! Why can't you just leave me alone?!”*
*→ Stop it. Just stop it.*
---
> ***“You lose your ability to stay focused, and your listening skills are affected”***
We’re back to that first sentence, here.
If you’re distracted by stressful thinking—that always starts with an innocent, ego-based thought and then gets blown out of all proportion by *more* thought, taking the first thought really seriously, as if it was true or something 🙄—you’re not in the reality of **Now**.
You’ve basically checked out of life, to go hang out inside your thought system, lid firmly on, where there’s completely *bonkers* stuff flying around, left, right and centre. Don’t do that - you’ll injure yourself!
And as Richard rightly points out, you can’t listen, either (stress-thought is noisy). What are you listening for? The aforementioned “Wisdom, insights and creativity,” of course.
*→ Keep up!*
---
> ***“You lose your compassion and sense of humour”***
Here we go, another two characteristics of divinity/being/god/life energy/grace.
#### [Compassion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/compassion-for-those-who-dislike-you/)
If we’re identifying with the ego contents of our stressed-out thought system, we’ve completely lost sight of how it all works, and of *course* we’ll lose our compassion.
Compassion's dependent upon our seeing that we’re *all the same*, and therefore understanding that everybody else is going through the exact same thing as us (i.e. being terrorised by thought that looks real).
#### [Humour](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-universal-sense/)
And *boy* do we have a sense of humour failure, when stressed?! Me and my wife always try and identify when we’re [*both* in a low mood](https://www.gilespcroft.com/double-low-mood-alert/) because we know that we’re officially in THE DANGER ZONE and there's every chance we'll say something we really regret.
If we’re lucky, one of us will have the presence of mind to sing a line from the [Kenny Loggins song](https://youtu.be/siwpn14IE7E?ref=gilespcroft.com)—“I am in the danger zone, danger zone!”—which sometimes snaps one or other of us out of it and sometimes doesn’t.
*→ Thank you Richard, for telling it like it is!*
---
I love Richard Carlson because he comes across as all soft and fluffy and (in my words) *“the gentlest introduction to the Innate Health understanding you could hope for”* but really, when you read it properly, he’s just smashing you in the face with home truths like these.
💥🥊
Bravo, sir, bravo. I consider myself chastened.
👏🏻
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Switching off the tapWhat’s better than repairing holes in your bucket? Switching the tap off, of course! Here’s how. 🚰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/switching-off-the-tap/)
Switching stress off at its source
### No questions
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/no-questions/
Last updated: 2026-08-24T06:00:26.000Z
In [yesterday's Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-it-helping/), we looked at what concepts are good for (and not good for), which reminded me of an experience I had a couple of years ago, when returning from the [3 Principles conference](https://www.3puk.org/?ref=gilespcroft.com) in London.
I was surprised at my own reaction to the three days – it was a bit of a watershed moment for me. A change in my relationship to concepts, that I really wasn't expecting.
Here's what happened…
…screen goes all wavy, to denote going back in time…
It’s a few days since I returned home from the annual 3 Principles conference (which is, in their own words: **“Three days focused on the potential and importance of Clarity, Love and Understanding.”*)
I think this is the fourth time I’ve attended and (as usual) the first day my mind was still pretty busy. It was all into:
- what it was going to get out of the conference
- what I’d learn that was new
- what I’d see differently
- what sound-bites I could share with my clients… blah blah all that jazz.
Consequently I enjoyed some sessions and didn’t enjoy others so much.
I was in analysis mode!
🤓
It took a little while to let go of that ego-based superficiality and (as usual) I approached Day 2 with a far more **laissez-faire* attitude, just hanging out and seeing what happened.
And after I’d been to a few breakouts—smaller, more intimate affairs, where you get to interact and ask questions at the end—I observed that I had ****no questions**.
In previous years I’ve gone, I’ve had a fair few questions, that I’ve specifically sought out a particular session to get answers to, or that have arisen during the course of what the speaker is saying.
But this year? Nada.
💁🏻♂️
I’ve been reflecting on why this might be.
It’s certainly not because I know everything (ha ha ha ha ha ha, someone scrape me up off the floor - I spent most of today noticing one dumbass misunderstanding of mine after another, lol).
No, the feeling I was left with, was that I had no more questions, simply because in the two years since I was last there, I’ve seen more and more what questions are and what they’re made of.
They’re just thoughts.
The activity of a mind that wants to conceptualise something that’s got nothing to do with concepts.
****Happiness, contentment, peace of mind and mental health… they exist in a place** ***without** **questions.**
There, at the conference, questions just didn’t seem to make sense.
Which meant I got to spend serious amounts of time just hanging out in life. Nowhere to get to. Nothing to change, fix, learn or get.
Just contentment, camaraderie with my fellow humans and the falling away of another layer or two of unnecessary complexity.
Complexity that gets in the way of experiencing clarity, love and understanding.
I think that’s what the conference is actually about.
💟
Giles
I love that! And it's a sentiment that's definitely stayed with me since then.
It's not that I don't *have* questions, or the odd spiritual concept that I don't ‘understand’, it's more about remaining aware that it's not all that important.
Getting questions answered to ego's satisfaction is not a magical doorway to happiness or something.
🤷🏻♂️
[Yesterday](https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-it-helping/) I related the tale yesterday of someone who was on [last week's group call](https://www.gilespcroft.com/premium-group-calls/), bashing up against a concept that they couldn't get their head around.
After some quiet reflection, discussion and a couple of readings, I left them with a question of their own, to reflect on:
🤔
**“What are you hoping to achieve when this question is finally answered? And if it is, do you think there may be others, too?”*
The response that came back the following day was for the ages, and reflected the fact that there's nothing *wrong* with questions – sometimes they'll make sense, and sometimes they won't.
Neither are ‘bad’ nor ‘good’ per se, they're maybe more a reflection of where we're at in any given moment.
Here's the response:
> *“I’m learning that there isn’t really a need for questions on a deeper level of consciousness, as there’s no real need for answers within a quiet mind.”*
I couldn't love that more.
😍
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[ParadoxWe don’t, yes we do, no we don’t have free will. Oh, make up your mind, will you?! 😖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/)
A great example of how tackling concepts head on, expecting relief, is likely to get us even more tangled up in thought!
### Is it helping?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-it-helping/
Last updated: 2026-08-23T06:00:26.000Z
We had the Daily Reminders [monthly group call](https://www.gilespcroft.com/premium-group-calls/) the other night, and there were some great questions.
All of which got answered, by me, using concepts.
📖
Definition: ****Concept** \= An abstract idea
There are all sorts of abstract ideas we use in the Innate Health/3 Principles community… like ‘Innate Health’ and ‘3 Principles’ for instance!
😂
It's all just *language* – a wonderful human invention that gets me out of bed every day and fills me with delight, either immersing myself in other people's use of it or creating these Daily Reminders for you.
I *love* language. But it's a pretty blunt tool, when it comes to trying to describe the infinite, majestic, awe-inspiring, *indescribable* essence of our spiritual *being*.
Which is all I’m ever pointing towards, really.
## When concepts help
There’s a [fantastic interview](https://youtu.be/c-Th5y2QVgM?ref=gilespcroft.com) online with Dicken Bettinger, who worked directly with [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com), back in the 80’s and 90’s.
In this interview (which is the clearest discussion of free will I've ever come across) he talks about Syd’s use of concepts, and says that,
> *“He used them as a way of trying to point us beyond concepts – trying to point us out of our head, into a space that’s free of concept … our True Nature.”*
And in my own special Giles-Ego-Construct-📦-flavoured way, that’s what I’m doing when I’m answering your questions with metaphors and stories and concepts and props – I’m not giving you tools that you can *use*, I’m pointing you back *within*, to something quieter and more real than analytical thought, concepts and beliefs.
(I’m guessing that’s why you keep showing up.)
That’s when concepts are *helpful*. When they allow us to fall out of our thinking and back into the always-available experience of presence and wellbeing.
When they help us to ‘think less, and live more’.
✨
## When concepts don’t help
We’ve all butted up against conceptual teachings that we don’t understand. I know I certainly have, and continue to do so.
(Frustratingly—to the mind—sometimes I’ll seemingly ‘get’ some concept and not be bothered about it all, and then another time I’ll be getting my knickers in a twist about it, all over again! 😵💫)
And minds don’t like ‘not understanding’. At all.
So they try and figure it out. They think that intellectually *understanding* a concept will help. Because they don’t know that the actual utility in a concept… is in the falling away of concept.
🙃
And that’s the position that someone on last week’s group call found themselves in. They’d heard a podcast, there was a concept in there that didn’t make sense and their mind had been gnawing away at it, to the degree that they (well, the Subscriber Ego Construct 📦) ached for clarity, believing a discussion with me would help.
Again, I’m sure every last one of us has been in this position, and I’ve certainly had plenty of instances where I've grabbed a concept and tried to shake some sense out of it with my powers of reason, so I can rest.
It's innocent, but that’s when concepts are *not* helpful. When they keep us stuck in our thinking and *distract* us from the always-available experience of presence and wellbeing.
When they cause us to ‘think more, and live less’.
😫
## So don't ask questions – is that it?
No, of course not. Curiosity is the way forward – question *everything!*
Just be aware that the answers you'll get—the deeper realisations that actually *change* things for you—aren't dependent on the mind understanding anything.
The mind can't do this. Concepts won't do it. Beliefs aren't the way forward. Ego doesn't have a role here.
The idea that we have to understand a concept before we can experience the inner peace we all yearn for is just another *“*[*I'll be happy when…*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)*”* script in disguise.
So if a concept is helping, then great!
But if it's not, don't worry at it. Just drop it, and move on.
Think less, and live more.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Not answering your questionsFinding answers to questions requires a foundation of sound principles. 👷🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-answering-your-questions/)
### Irreverence
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/irreverence/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T06:00:49.000Z
Once, after I'd run a group session, someone mailed in and said,
> *“I find you funny in a kind of irreverent way, is this intentional on your part? This helps me to not take these things so seriously.”*
And in a separate scenario—a [1:1 coaching session](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/), where we were looking at a real, heavy problem that had been bugging this person for *ages*—they visibly relaxed and said,
> *"I suddenly have the urge to laugh hysterically!"*
(And I certainly didn’t dissuade them.)
What’s more, I’m always referring to my work using words like ‘lighthearted’ and ‘fun’ and I wonder, do you—and when I say ‘you’, I mean the Reader Ego Construct 📦—see this as a good thing, or a bad thing?
👍/👎
Because aren’t these situations, like mental health problems, difficult relationship problems, money problems, traumatic past problems, *supposed* to be serious? Isn’t that the whole deal with them?
## Well, yes, and no.
So first things first: I’m not belittling the situations themselves, by any means. There’s some truly awful stuff going down (working with other humans, I hear about it all the time) and on this level, yes, they’re serious.
Nobody *chooses* challenging/catastrophic life circumstances. They just happen, we get what we’re given, and my heart goes out to every single one of you, struggling with the hand you’ve been dealt
💝
And then there’s the ‘problem’ aspect of it…
*\[Cover your* 📦 *ears\]*
> **Which is mind-created.**
*That’s* where the lightness comes in.
Because when we see what the mind is doing: chopping our experience up into little discrete parcels, comparing them all against each other, making rules up that it insists determine whether or not we should feel ok, or happy, or sad, or frustrated, or desperate; throwing its weight around, creating meaning and hierarchies and time and stories and identities out of thin air; then pretending that all of this is **The Truth™**…
…well, then it all starts to look faintly ridiculous.
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind
And we might want to laugh with relief when we catch it, up to its tricks.
And whenever we do catch it, we too will probably start to *“not take these things so seriously.”*
## Intent or no?
So, to answer the question at the top of this post honestly: No, it’s not intentional.
One of the first things I share with groups and with individuals when I'm working through my [4-step programme](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/) with them, is this, from the [FOUNDATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/#01-foundations):
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us
…and that includes all of *my* behaviours too.
The more layers of misunderstanding that fall away as I continue to explore and have insights, the more humour I see in this cosmic joke that we call the human experience; the less seriously I find myself taking the machinations of the mind.
And the more irreverent I may appear.
My mind 📦 is completely bonkers, just like yours, and as I heard [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) once say (on an old recording I can’t bring to hand right now, so I’m paraphrasing),
> *“If you’re playing the piano, you can either play it seriously, or you can really enjoy playing and have fun with it.”*
Same thing. Two [perspectives](https://www.gilespcroft.com/perspectives/). No rules.
Why not choose irreverence?
😁
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[A universal senseIt’s like a big green light for being on the right track 🚦The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-universal-sense/)
More on the importance (and universality) of ‘good humour’
### Make it bad
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/make-it-bad/
Last updated: 2026-08-19T06:00:53.000Z
Couldn't resist this, after the [previous Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/protective-bias/).
It's so perfect:
Cartoon by [Asher Perlman](https://ashermaxperlman.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#cartoons): [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/asherperlman?ref=gilespcroft.com) • [X.com](https://x.com/asherperlman/status/2086096607573897586?ref=gilespcroft.com)
I'm not saying a word.
🤐
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[What if it seems worse than it is?What if presence is invisible to the mind? How would we experience it? 🫥The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-it-seems-worse-than-it-is/)
Let's get serious for a moment here.
### Protective bias
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/protective-bias/
Last updated: 2026-08-17T06:00:25.000Z
Let’s say you had a favourite pastime, that you did 999 times, completely joyfully.
And then that one time, through no fault of your own, it goes badly wrong. Physical consequences.
What d’you think the mind’s going to do, the next time you step up to your favourite pastime?
That’s right. It’s going to remember the 0.1% because it’s protective.
It’s going to really want to stop you from doing it. It might even come up with some of the same symptoms from that one time it went wrong.
It might feel like it’s erased the 999 times completely.
That one time ruined it.
😞
We can try overcoming this with willpower, or by reasoning with it…
Or we can be damned grateful that the mind does this for us.
❤️🩹
It’s trying to help (even though oftentimes it feels like it’s not helping at all).
If we're to ever do that thing again, we *need* to know—like, really *know*—that it’s just a story, so that we can make an ‘informed’ decision.
It's easy when we're encouraging kids to ‘get straight back on the horse’ after hurting themselves, but when we're in the thick of it ourselves—recovering from sickness, injury or even a broken heart—seeing through those tricks of the mind is a bit more difficult – it all seems so [real *and* true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-dragon-thats-real-and-not-true/)!
But see through them we shall. Every time another Daily Reminder lands.
💌
I think this is my favourite aspect of the inside-out understanding: the way it opens up your life for you.
*Without* knowing what's going on, our options feel limited.
Genuinely. Innocently. Understandably.
The mind presents us with its narrow menu of choices, making out like that's *it*, there *are* no more options… but only because it’s ignorant of everything else; of life.
So if *you* happen to have ‘fallen off the horse’ because of ‘that one time’, just spot the mind, up to its tricks.
Be kind to it – it's doing its best.
It's informed decision time: do you *want* this?
Then you can go!
🚀
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Start your week with courageWhat if courage wasn’t something you had to \*do\*? 💗The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/start-your-week-with-courage/)
### The past-creating present
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-past-creating-present/
Last updated: 2026-08-16T06:00:27.000Z
Some of you might remember that a few years ago (we're talking pre-Daily Reminders website here) I used to welcome new subscribers to my mailing list with an email course.
It was great, but unfortunately it became one of the casualties of swapping platforms, and a while ago someone asked me if I'd ever consider bringing it back.
At the time, the answer was that I had no plans to do so, but plans are all mind-created, aren't they, and here in reality, it turns out that it is indeed coming back, bigger and better!
🙌🏻
I've spent the last few weeks beavering away here at my computer, revisiting all the materials in light of how I see things these days, re-editing all the videos, cross-referencing all the content against relevant Daily Reminders and essentially creating a kick-ass, 8-part, mini-course that will live permanently on the website, instead of disappearing in people's inboxes.
It's the sort of thing I wish I could have experienced myself, because it takes you on a journey straight to the heart of the Innate Health understanding, in simple, but powerful, bite-sized chunks.
## An insight for the ages
Anyway, digression aside, there's one lesson I've just been working on that looks specifically at the past – not just letting go of past hurts, but how to avoid getting stuck in previous patterns of behaviour, too.
And there's a quote I've found for it that absolutely floored me when I first came across it. I was like, *Say whaaaaat?!?!*
But then I slowed down to examine it from an Innate Health perspective and I realised that Yes, if we're looking at the fundamental principles behind how we experience life, this *must* be true.
It's from Steve Chandler's book, [*Right Now*](https://amzn.to/4gyuDJp?ref=gilespcroft.com), in which he states, simply:
> *“The past does not create the present…*
> *The present is what creates the past.”*
\[And that sound you can hear is my brain actually exploding 🤯\]
Because that just seems so *wrong*, doesn't it?! Surely it's our past that's creating our present experience? Isn't that what our conditioning and our experience *is?*
But then we have to wrestle that world view into the natural order of things, as expressed in these two 🔑 **Key Messages** of mine:
> Your felt experience of life is only EVER happening NOW
And:
> We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality
…and realisation dawns that *everything* we experience is Now, and *everything* is a creation of Thought, *ergo:* **“The present is what creates the past.”**
**🤷🏻**
## Freedom!
As far as implications go, in [the book](https://amzn.to/4gyuDJp?ref=gilespcroft.com), Steve takes it in the direction of productivity and creation and getting hung up on past failures, when he concludes:
> *“You ask about your past patterns and it's my experience that your patterns don't have to matter.”*
(Not *“don't matter,”* you'll note, but *“don't have to matter”* – which is different.)
Or, to put it another way, in the words of Alan Watts:
> *“You are under no obligation to be the same person you were, five minutes ago”* \~ Alan Watts
Which is ridiculously freeing to see.
Have yourself a light-hearted, story-free weekend.
❣️
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Closing the door on who you could beLooking to the past for a sense of security has implications 👀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/closing-the-door-on-who-you-could-be/)
Don't let your past dictate your future!
### Celestial body
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/celestial-body/
Last updated: 2026-08-14T06:00:15.000Z
There's no way you can experience an almost total solar eclipse and then not write about it.
What a phenomenon!
😮
I mean, just for a moment, put yourself in the skin of someone from an ancient civilisation and imagine witnessing this:
Photo by me, 10 minutes before maximum coverage. iPhone 16 Pro 5x Zoom, taken through eclipse glasses, atop the **Rholben*, Abergavenny, UK
I mean, it would freak you right out, wouldn't it?! 😱
You'd certainly fall in line and get worshipping the Sun God, as if your life *literally* depended upon it.
Of course, being human and having a mind, I went into it with expectations. My observations were:
- Even at the maximum 92.8% coverage—just the teeniest sliver of sun still visible—it remained remarkably bright. The sun is very bright!!
- Shadows were the oddest thing. The quality of light had that end-of-sunset feel to it, but the shadows weren't long enough, because the sun was still higher in the sky
- We were all ooh-ing and ahh-ing too much to notice whether nature went quiet around us
- I had a real feeling of the moon being an actual celestial body, as it slid—perfectly round and black—across the face of our local star. It was totally awesome to witness
- We looked like a bunch of cultists, all staring in wonder with our eclipse specs on.
🤓
Interestingly, although it was an experience I'll not forget any time soon, it felt like more of a curiosity than an existential reset.
It didn't have the power of presence that looking up at the stars does for me, like this:
[Look up!…at the stars! It’s the ultimate reset. 🌌The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/look-up/)
Maybe it's a scale thing: solar system vs. galaxy and beyond?
What a wondrous thing, this life is!
✨
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Sessions in the bank
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/sessions-in-the-bank/
Last updated: 2026-08-12T06:00:01.000Z
> *How long does change take?*
Hang on, you’re right, that’s a rubbish question, a bit like *“How long is a piece of string?”*
What about this then:
> *How quickly can change occur?*
Ah, now I’m on more solid ground.
Because it's not unusual, when people sign up to a [package of sessions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/) with me, that they don't use them all! We come to an agreement to put any remaining sessions ‘in the bank’, saving them up for some figurative rainy day in the future.
I’m always delighted when this happens, because it means the client got exactly what they came for and their life has changed irrevocably as a result… just in a quicker time span than the 6 sessions I usually offer.
Now, while the G.E.C. (Giles Ego Construct 📦) would *love* to take credit for these miraculous turn-arounds, I actually put it down to two things that have got nothing to do with ‘me’ whatsoever:
## 1\. The nature of the work
The first thing is the approach I use.
It’s not one where we get together, roll up our sleeves and set to work on figuring out **how** we’re going to [solve your problems](https://www.gilespcroft.com/right-tool-for-the-job/).
(Too boring! 🥱)
Nor is it an approach that involves [digging around in past history](https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-youre-ready/), trying to figure out **why** you feel the way you do.
(Too harsh! 😢)
I’ve never worked either of those two ways with anyone, so I can’t say for sure, but I suspect that those approaches can take a lot more time.
(In a former life I had therapy myself and it went on for ages! 💰)
No, the nature of the work I do is to look at **what** a problem ([any problem](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-solve-any-problem/)) actually *is*.
And usually, as a result of that, the solution to the problem appears, all on its own, in one of those *“Oh why couldn’t I see that?!”* moments of insight.
The client gets what they came for.
And as an added bonus, because they’ve now got a very different perspective on ‘problems’ in general, their whole life improves, [downstream](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-upstream/).
(Have I told you before: I LOVE MY JOB!! 🥰)
## 2\. The nature of insight
The second thing is the actual driver of that change.
[Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)—whose teaching has affected the lives of countless people across the globe, and is the basis of all the work I do—had an insight so profound that it kicked off the entire [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) movement, from just ONE sentence that someone said to him!!!
🤯
(You can watch him talk about how that happened, here: [Sydney Banks – The Insight](https://youtu.be/TxQ6qsPgSsc?si=5cPKupndl8FVE2yv&ref=gilespcroft.com). Slow right down and just let it wash over you. It could change your life ✨)
And because that’s the way that makes sense for me to work with people too, everything can—and *does*, from time to time—change quickly, utterly, and permanently at any point of us working together.
😮
An innocent belief that was invisibly keeping someone stuck gets brought out into the open, dissolves in an instant (or more usually over the few days that follow it having been seen through), and hey presto: ****Sessions in the bank**.
---
Between you and me, although I'm no longer *surprised*, I'm still a bit shocked, every time I witness change like this happening.
Because a heavy burden that's been carried for a long time—sometimes decades!— feels like it [should](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) (🚩) be more difficult or painful to shift, somehow.
And yet I've seen, time and time again, that life-altering, long-lasting change is so often just [one thought away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/).
Not because my clients’ problems are small—they're not—but because they've never been examined through the lens of their own [Innate Health](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/).
So if there's something in your life that has felt intractable for a long time, in spite of all you've tried, then I'd love to help you take a *proper* look at it.
Because you too might be (very pleasantly) shocked at the results… so much so that you get your very own sessions in the bank.
💝
Giles
[APPLY FOR COACHING](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
### Related
[Looking upstream 🔖The different ways you can address mental health conditions. (Premium Written & Audio Content.)The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-upstream/)
This one's so important, it's Premium 🔖 content that's accessible to everyone.
### My own stroke of insight
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-own-stroke-of-insight/
Last updated: 2026-08-10T06:00:36.000Z
You may not know this, but a few years ago, I had a stroke!!
😱
That's right, with literally zero risk factors—healthy eating, tons of exercise, perfect blood pressure, no smoking, no alcohol, no diabetes, not even 50 at the time!—I woke up one day unable to comprehend language, speaking gibberish and unaware of my right peripheral field of vision.
To say this came as something of a shock is quite possibly the understatement of the century!!
😆
Rushed into A&E, I experienced the very best of the NHS and over time I was CT, MRI & ultrasound scanned from head to toe and had every blood test going, with the conclusion that we'll never know why it happened and I'm in tip top shape.
It was what they call a ‘mini-stroke’ – a transient ischaemic attack, or [TIA](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transient%5Fischemic%5Fattack?ref=gilespcroft.com), and the symptoms gradually resolved over a period of about 12 hours, with literally nothing left over to show for it.
I woke up the next morning, completely back to normal (well, normal for a Giles Ego Construct 📦)
😉
So what did I learn during that fateful day, other than having it confirmed that we're all on borrowed time and it's completely ridiculous to hold back in life (’cos it could end, any day)?
Well, loads! It was like a potted, mini-version of Jill Bolte Taylor's *‘*[*Stroke of Insight*](https://www.ted.com/talks/jill%5Fbolte%5Ftaylor%5Fmy%5Fstroke%5Fof%5Finsight?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ in that it was my left brain that got clobbered.
Not long afterwards, I was invited on the popular [*You Are Not A Frog*](https://youarenotafrog.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) podcast, to talk about it all, and that episode's just been spruced up and re-released, as it remains one of the most popular episodes they've had.
You can watch the conversation below, or find it on any of the usual links for podcasts (links below).
It's a fascinating subject – enjoy!
**Listen to the podcast episode on:**
- [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-analytical-brain-trap-why-smart-people-cant-switch-off/id1472165023?i=1000779783015&ref=gilespcroft.com) 🔈
- [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/4tW4oV4t3TpmytAtLGU9VO?si=He5DpvUDTGiFgRP5BaxdzA&ref=gilespcroft.com) 🔈
- [Amazon Music](https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/3c8148a8-343b-4100-9834-f891f6f23558/episodes/09dcee4c-b3da-469e-b131-045ac77a6634/you-are-not-a-frog-the-analytical-brain-trap-why-smart-people-can%E2%80%99t-switch-off?ref=gilespcroft.com) 🔈
- [Overcast](https://overcast.fm/+AATB3ruALxQ?ref=gilespcroft.com) 🔈
- [Pocketcasts](https://pca.st/tvvh0ybj?ref=gilespcroft.com) 🔈
The long and the short of it is that basically I'm still here, for which I am eternally grateful!
🙏🏻
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Your reality is a perception of the mindA short video with three helpful metaphors for how we experience the world 🎬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/)
Allow me to bring this to life for you, in a super-helpful, but short video 📹
### “It's total bull$h!t”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-total-bull-h-t/
Last updated: 2026-08-09T06:00:45.000Z
I've been watching [*Halt and Catch Fire*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2543312/?ref%5F=fn%5Ft%5F1&ref=gilespcroft.com) again. For a nerd like me, who grew up in this era, it's pure catnip: the development of PCs, the history of the Internet *and* a bunch of 80's electro-pop, oh my!
All with a stellar cast, wrapped in a compelling drama. It's awesome.
🤓 💻 🎹 😍
One of the characters, Cameron, has a complicated past. Much has been collected in that Thought System 📦 of hers, and for most of the programme, she takes what's in there pretty seriously.
(Give her a break – it's innocent, and she's human, after all. Who here *hasn't* taken their thinking too seriously from time to time, I wonder…? Me included.)
🤔
Thought not.
And because [behaviour follows our relationship to thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/), this means that for most of the programme, she exhibits some fairly self-destructive tendencies.
Ego's running the show, it's going completely unquestioned, and it's rampaging through her life.
It makes for great drama, worthy of a TV show!
*\[Mild spoilers follow\]*
Until she takes a job offer to live on the other side of the world, immerses herself in [an entirely different culture](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-ads-my-ads/#:~:text=It%E2%80%99s%20a%20bit%20like%20that%20thing%20where%20you%20go%20on%20holiday%20and%20actually%20embrace%20all%20of%20the%20cultural%20discrepancies), and—experientially—comes to the following conclusion:
> *“You go through life and you have this idea of who you are and what you do and then you discover it’s total bull$h!t. It’s a defence mechanism. And once you stop defending your self you can be all these other things…”*
And I have taken the liberty of slowing down the word **‘yourself’** to a more truthful **‘your self’** there, because that's what she's talking about here: ‘self’ (with a small ‘s’) – that collection of [other people's opinions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/recordings/), stale memories and [left brain objects](https://www.gilespcroft.com/created-not-discovered/), that is surmised (by that same mind) as being an actual *thing*.
It *looks* like it's a real entity (an id-entity! 😮) which means of course it needs [protecting at all costs](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/). I mean, why wouldn't it, if it's alive? Everything that's alive wants to *stay* alive, doesn't it?
But protecting that thought-created ego construct 📦 is exhausting, and in doing so we inadvertently place [artificial limits on our lives](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-you-shaped-aperture/), for example:
- Working [beyond breaking point](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/), because we're innocently protecting a ‘high achiever’ identity
- Sacrificing our [authentic desires](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mashing-both-pedals-at-once/) as we unwittingly protect a ‘people-pleasing’ identity
- Watching the list of things we feel we can do slowly shrink, as we innocently defend a ‘[mental health problem](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-is-mental-health/)’ identity
- Experiencing [conflict in our relationships](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finding-common-ground-in-conflict/) as we helplessly defend a ‘being right’ identity…
…and the list goes on (and on and on – there's really [no limit to ego identities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-many-outfits-of-ego/)).
You'll have your own, if you slow down for a moment and consider this question:
> **What identity are you busy protecting?**
(Give yourself a break – it's innocent, and you're human after all.)
Now consider what artificial limits that Ego Construct 📦 is placing on **your* life…?
🤔
Finally, what would happen if you *stopped* defending that story-version of your self?
What other things would you get to be?
💖
Giles
p.s. [Halt and Catch Fire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halt%5Fand%5FCatch%5FFire%5F%28TV%5Fseries%29?ref=gilespcroft.com) is worth it for the title sequence alone. If this 31 seconds of Trentemøller-crafted pumping electro theme tune doesn't set your pulse racing, then maybe the series is not for you:
Halt and Catch Fire - Title Sequence
0:00
/31.033469
1×
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Embrace your inner weirdDo you have weird behaviours? Me too. How about you stop making a big deal of it? 😅The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/embrace-your-inner-weird/)
Don't try and ***ditch** your Ego Construct 📦 – celebrate its nonsense! 🥳
### “In a van!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-a-van/
Last updated: 2026-08-23T06:45:48.000Z
> *“This Daily Reminder is really great! Everybody needs to get this message* 😀*”*
> \~ Carolyn, UK
We went away camping for the night, at the weekend. Guided by the old aphorism, *“A change is as good as a rest”* we bundled ourselves into our camper van at the last minute and headed out for a one-nighter at an undisclosed location in the woods.
🚐 🏴 🌳 🐿️ 🐦⬛🚶🏻🌌 😌
Pretty idyllic, right?
Absolutely, but there's one side effect of taking three people from a house and placing them inside a small metal tin can on wheels, and that's bumping into each other—and the various edges of these newly cramped quarters—fairly regularly.
It's not unusual to sustain one or two bumps and scrapes from such outdoor pursuits, which, after a while can become a little… *wearing*, shall we say.
But we have the perfect solution for this, and it's just three words:
> *“In a van!”*
## In a box for a month
It's a policy my wife and I chose consciously, years ago, when we honeymooned for a month in an old, clapped-out, much-loved, issue-ridden VW T4 camper.
We drove through France and Spain to Morocco, with Fez being our most southerly destination, before returning. It was hot, dusty, heart-achingly beautiful, and also punctuated by serial breakdowns, and multiple minor injuries.
Here – enjoy some honeymoon photos from life on the road:
I thoroughly recommend Montserrat (Catalonia), the Picos de Europa (Cantabria) and Fez itself.
## A pact is made
We learned very quickly that van life involved these daily bumps and scrapes, and as tensions mounted (and the air turned blue) we decided that we'd be pretty miserable if we got cross every time we trapped our fingers, skinned our knuckles or smashed our head—again—into a corner, an edge or a roof that's lower than is natural for two near-6ft people.
In fact I almost came to the conclusion that I wasn't cut out for van life, until we slowed down, took stock and realised two basic facts:
1. It's utterly pointless [getting cross with inanimate objects](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-to-blame/)
2. Just how damned privileged we were to be doing this at all in the first place!
The knocks and scrapes we were experiencing weren't a signal that something was wrong, or bad. They were a reminder that we were doing *exactly* what we wanted to do – living the dream, on the road, in a literal mobile home!!
That's when *“In a van!”* became a thing:
💥🤕 Sit up too quickly first thing in the morning, smashing your head into the cabinet above?
> *“In a van!”* 🙌🏻
🤌🏻🩸 Reach through a small gap to grab something, taking the tops off your knuckles on the way?
> *“In a van!”* 🥰
🫣🚪 Practically take out your eye on the corner of an unexpectedly-open, head-height cupboard?
> *“In a van! ”* 🥳
And it's lasted all these years. Because I still whack myself with alarming regularity when we go on these little trips, but you know what?
It doesn't ever really bother me. Because I'm *“In a van!”*
## Lessons in acceptance
We have come to see these little moments of adversity as an opportunity to accept that life doesn't come neatly (softly) packaged in a way that's acceptable to our egos.
*“In a van!”* is less of a re-framing, and more of a slowing down to appreciate this gift we've been given.
Because whatever path you take (including choosing to live on the road in an 8ft square cube) you're going to encounter hardships…
…and *this* is the path you have taken.
(I'm reminded of that great Byron Katie quote: *“When I argue with reality, I lose. But only 100% of the time.”)*
[This is it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-it/) – this is all you're getting. And you can moan and blather about how it's not fair and the world (or that bloody cupboard door!!) is out to get you… or you can realise how damned privileged you are to exist in the first place.
🙏🏻 ✨
So the next time things don't go your (ego's) way, you could remember this little Daily Reminder, maybe take it a step further, and remind yourself…
> *“In a life.”*
🥰
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Who’s to blame?Minds love to play the blame game. But what if no one is to blame? 😇The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-to-blame/)
More arguing with inanimate objects.
### Traffic lights
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/traffic-lights/
Last updated: 2026-08-12T12:40:35.000Z
> *“I love the Daily Reminders that stop me in my tracks. That make me read and re-read again until I’ve got it. They are ones that most enhance my day. Today’s is one. Thank you Giles.”*
> \~ Wendy, UK
Towards the end of the most recent Daily Reminder (which was quite sciencey/conceptual, and also [jaw-dropping](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-dragon-thats-real-and-not-true/)), there was a recommendation of sorts – an action you can take.
It was that same ‘action’ that has people throwing their hands up in the air in exasperation and wondering why the hell they even continue to read these damned Daily Reminders, because it was:
✋🏻
****DO NOTHING**
🤦🏻
So today I'm going to throw the Reader Ego Construct 📦 a bone by unpicking that for you a little bit; to show you that it's not **really* ‘nothing’ that you're doing here.
**“Yay!”* says your left brain, **“I've got a job to do!”*
(Which is all it ever really wants, bless it.)
And we're going to do that using one of my all-time favourite metaphors.
## The Traffic Light metaphor
Now, I need to be up front about this one and let you know that I totally stole this from someone else. It's from Christa Campsall, and her amazing 3 Principles-based school curriculum, called [*My Guide Inside*](https://www.myguideinside.com/about?ref=gilespcroft.com)*.*
I know she doesn't mind that I've nabbed it off her, because we've spoken about it in the past, and I'm going to plug her curriculum right here, for you to check out:
[My Guide Inside ® CurriculumMy Guide Inside ® Curriculum brings out the best in all learners.My Guide Inside ® Curriculum](https://www.myguideinside.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
You can get hold of all the books yourself (in many languages) here: [***MGI Books**](https://www.myguideinside.com/books?ref=gilespcroft.com)
I went through the first book with my daughter when she was much younger, and it's testament to how well-designed it all is that to this day she still refers to intuition/innate health/universal mind/spirit/wisdom/the-infinite-creative-potential-of-[the-entire-effing-Universe](https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-nature-good-for-creativity/) (basically anything that's *not* ‘[Jobert](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-names/)’) as “my guide inside.”
😍😍😍😍😍
So if it's good enough for 6 year olds, it's good enough for you.
*My Guide Inside* and the traffic lights metaphor both point to the exact same thing that we point to each time here at the Daily Reminders:
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/start-your-week-with-courage/)
I once wrote an [***entire series of posts**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/) on what happened over the course of a couple of weeks when these two insights landed for me.
And—as far as I can tell—the trick to nailing this being-human malarkey (and consequently living a life of ease, grace, connection and creativity) is to [know where you're at](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-know-what-mood-youre-in/) on that diagram, and then to know what your options are for what to do about that.
🚦 Traffic lights—and how they pertain to strong emotional states—are the perfect metaphor. So let's get into it.
## Go-signal confusion
Question:
> Who here *hasn't* got completely caught up in a really strong emotion before?
Anyone? 😶
That's right, we all have. Whether it's anger or anxiety, sadness or shame, disappointment or despair, these weather fronts move in quickly and they make their presence felt!
😡🥺😞😳🫠😫
And because they're so obvious, they seem like very clear ***GO!*** signals, don't they? Strong emotion looks like action needs taking, for instance, with something like anger – it seems to be saying:
🤬
This thing is making me so livid!! If I want to feel less livid, I need to change this thing, **immediately!* Go, Go, GO!!!
It looks like the only way to relieve the tension of a strong emotion like this is to change the circumstances that brought it about in the first place.
I mean, *duh.*
But it's possibly the most obvious (and yet [easily overlooked](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-fact-of-life-that-will-immediately-improve-yours/)) example of the outside-in misunderstanding (i.e. the mistaken belief that our feelings could come from somewhere *other* than thought) going.
I mean, what would the mechanism even **be* – magical ‘anger particles’ or something?!?!
Because it's not ‘[the thing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-thing-vs-your-experience-of-the-thing/)’ that's ‘making you’ feel that way, it's the reality that's being brought into consciousness by the [current state of mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/) you're in.
It's the computer-mind, becoming aware of a sensation and then going looking for [a reason why](https://www.gilespcroft.com/laying-bricks/).
(And if you're in a low state of mind, the ‘reason why’ will be the nearest person to you! 😂)
It's also why ‘annoying’ things don't look so annoying, when you're all bright and breezy.
It's very straightforward, once you've clocked it.
## Time to stop
So in classic inside-out, *everything's-the-exact-opposite-of-what-you've-been-taught* fashion, feeling an emotion really strongly is not a ***Go!*** signal… it's a ***Stop!*** signal.
As you'll see from this helpful aide-memoire I created for you:
With gratitude and love to Christa and [My Guide Inside](https://www.myguideinside.com/about?ref=gilespcroft.com) for the inspiration 💝
When we get ‘[hijacked](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala%5Fhijack?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ by our emotions, it's giving us the critical information we need in that moment, as you can see on the right side of the diagram:
😫
Our suffering lets us know that our thinking is ****‘fast and furious’**
It's a signal to disengage. To stop:
- To leave our sleeves [very much rolled down](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-fact-of-life-that-will-immediately-improve-yours/)
- To *not* send the text or email (or write it but don't send it)
- To keep our mouth shut
- To take some time out, maybe walk round the block and simmer down
- To *not* make any big decisions (or little ones, for that matter)
- To step back from taking action, there and then, as epitomised by the brilliant book title from [Sylvia Boorstein](https://amzn.to/4pRwblX?ref=gilespcroft.com)\*:
> *“Don't just do something, sit there!”*
## It's not nothing
I explored this traffic lights metaphor with a client just the other day. They'd been in a funk and [they spotted the low mood](https://www.gilespcroft.com/getting-low-moods-to-move-on/#client-wins) for what it was, thereby ensuring that:
1. they didn't do anything daft while they were in it
2. it moved on through, pretty quickly
And we established together that the ‘Do nothing’ amber light isn't *really* doing nothing. Look what I've written against it:
> INQUIRY / CURIOSITY
So it's all manner of things, some of which I've already mentioned above. But it's also:
- Taking [a deep breath](https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice/#lets-make-it-memorable)
- Accepting that right now, there's [something we're not seeing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-knowing/)
- Slowing down enough to hear [what we need in that moment](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/), to let our frazzled nervous system settle
- Getting a bit excited at the prospect of [how wrong we could be](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong/), and what we're about to learn, when we've got our bearings.
‘Nothing’ includes all manner of things that aren't *send-the-self-righteous-email*, or *just-shout-louder*, **if…** we spot the ***Stop!*** signal for what it is.
## Getting the green light
When we've got some distance from it all, and the strong emotions have passed—as they always do, otherwise you'd still be the angriest you've ever been—you'll find yourself in a different reality entirely – one you couldn't even *conceive* of, when you were in the depths of suffering.
When your thinking state is **‘calm and curious’**, you'll find your [aperture is wide open](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/) to possibility and novelty and perspective, and you know what can happen?
Well, these sorts of things (I've experienced them all!):
- You'll be amazed that you could even have *considered* sending that angry draft email
- You'll realise the other person's position has merit, and is actually *better* than the one you were convinced was the *only* way
- You'll suddenly realise the totally unforeseen, and yet face-palmingly obvious solution to a problem that seemed intractable just minutes ago
- You'll completely forget what the hell you were worrying about in the first place.
🤷🏻
So the next time you find yourself caught up in a highly emotional situation, trying to work out what to *do*, just remember the traffic lights and ask yourself, lovingly,
> 🛑 *Could this be a stop signal?*
🟠 And just wait to see what happens.
It could be the pause that makes all the difference.
💚
Giles
\*p.s. attribution for this phrase is murky, so I asked the owner of Quote Investigator to look into it for me properly → [Origin of the phrase](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2026/08/06/sit-there/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[AperturesThis one makes the podium for my top 3 favourite metaphors for life! 📷The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/)
Same same, but different.
### The dragon that's real and not true
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-dragon-thats-real-and-not-true/
Last updated: 2026-08-04T09:18:40.000Z
If there was ever clearer evidence that we are all walking around in our own little thought-created ‘[realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/)’—the experiences of which are [real, but not true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/)—it's in visual illusions.
## How it's all ‘made up’
Our senses are bathed in fluctuating energy and they have to build a picture of reality for us, so that we can function in this world. This means our psychological-perceptual system is *always* asking the question:
> *“What must be true, within the rules I’ve evolved, for me to be receiving this particular set of data?”*
And that’s what we get: a teeny, tiny little portion of that infinite life-energy, filtered through those evolved rules – a ‘[rule-shaped aperture](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-you-shaped-aperture/)’, if you like.
So it’s not reality *itself*, it’s more like a [map of it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/update-your-map-version/). (Nobody knows what *actual* reality looks like… maybe those folks who’ve had near death experiences, I dunno 🤷🏻♂️)
It’s a bit bonkers, because it *really* seems like we’re all wandering around with big windows on the fronts of our faces, viewing an objective reality, not some electro-chemically induced apparition that we think is true.
🥴
Visual illusions make that inconvenient truth a bit more obvious, or in the case of the video I made below, smacked-round-the-side-of-the-head obvious! Our psychological-perceptual system, while complex beyond measure, is actually remarkably easy to trick, just by breaking one of its inbuilt rules.
Have a watch and try not to be freaked out too much because I can state categorically, those heads are ***NOT*** moving!! 😵💫
Enjoy the ride!
0:00
/0:35
1×
👀 🐉 👀 🐉
How crazy is that?! 🤯
## A peek behind the curtain
This little dragon (he’s called [*Thinky*](https://www.gathering4gardner.org/3d-dragon-illusion/?ref=gilespcroft.com)) is very easy to recreate for yourself – it's just a paper cut out that's stuck together. (I’ve attached the template to download as a PDF below; the perfect way to get creative for an hour.)
And if you look at this image, you'll see how this primitive illusion tricks your mind. It's unusual in that, while the base is a standard pyramid shape, the face portion is concave (i.e. curved inwards):
[](https://www.gathering4gardner.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/3D-dragon.pdf?ref=gilespcroft.com)
View from above Thinky. You’re safe here, he can’t get you.
Our brains however, have evolved to perceive faces as *only* ever being convex (curved outwards) – that’s the rule it’s applying. So when we look at the dragon and we move our perspective around, the algorithmic mind asks its usual question:
> *“What must be true, within the rules I’ve evolved, for me to be receiving this particular set of data?”*
…and since—within its rules—it doesn’t make sense that bits of the face that should now be out of sight (because they're technically ‘round the corner’), are still visible, it makes something up.
It says,
> 📦🗣️: *“Oh, the head must be moving!”*
And that's the ‘reality’ we experience. It’s not something [you can tell your mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/) to see differently (there's no denying the head moves, even when I've shown you how the trick works) but, as we can now see, it's very obviously not true.
(Honestly, if you’ve been struggling with this notion of *‘real-and-not-true’*, Thinky the dragon is the best demonstration I’ve ever come across!)
## What has this got to do with wellbeing?
Well, it's not just moving-head dragons that are created from within our psychological-perceptual system, is it?
It's 100% of the human experience.
And the key here is the rules our Thought Systems 📦 are applying. Because sure, there are *evolved* human rules (such as all-faces-must-be-convex).
But then how many other innocent ‘rules’—or beliefs—have gathered in that dusty old Thought System of ours, over the years, from our teachers, our parents, the media, society in general; and from experiences we've had when younger?
(The fact that you and I and everybody you know see the world differently, is evidence that it's a LOT!)
🤔
What else is the mind ‘making up’ for you, that looks real, but is not true?
## The power in knowing
Visual illusions that are as good as this one make it way more obvious that 100% of our felt experience of life is coming from thought in the moment.
This means every feeling you've ever had and every feeling you ever *will* have comes to you as a product not of your environment, but of that inner, perceptual world; of the mind essentially asking,
> *“What must be true, given all the cruft I've collected over the years, for me to be receiving this particular set of data?”*
There's immense power in knowing this, because it also means you can't ever be a victim of circumstance, only ever a ‘victim’ of thought… or of misunderstanding, to be more accurate.
And what should you do about this?
Nothing.
Be with whatever feeling you're experiencing, fully, safe in the knowledge that it's simply a reflection of thought, that it can't harm you and that fresh new thinking is always just around the corner.
It's a beautifully designed system – enjoy the ride!
💟
Giles
### Make your own
Here's a link to download the PDF template to fashion your own [*Thinky* the 3D Dragon](https://www.gathering4gardner.org/3d-dragon-illusion/?ref=gilespcroft.com), to wow your friends with. (If you've been looking for a ‘way in’ to talk about the Innate Health understanding with them, this is a great conversation starter!)
[Thinky the 3D moving-head Dragon illusionThe ultimate summer project for your kids!Thinky-3D-moving-dragon-head-illusion\_template.pdf856 KBdownload-circle](https://www.gilespcroft.com/content/files/2026/08/Thinky-3D-moving-dragon-head-illusion%5Ftemplate.pdf "Download")
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[You can’t not see an illusionThe all-important difference between waking up \*from\* the dream, and \*to\* the dream 💭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)
If this Daily Reminder got you thinking, then you'll love this one
### Losing your self at a gig
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/losing-your-self-at-a-gig/
Last updated: 2026-08-02T06:00:35.000Z
A client once told me about one his greatest acts of heroism: he accompanied his teenage daughter to a Taylor Swift concert.
😳
And while there, a funny thing happened, that he said it was ok to share with you.
The tickets got bought *ages* in advance, and naturally, there was quite a lot of thinking about it in the intervening months – thinking that intensified as the day of the gig approached. What on earth was it going to be like?!
(This is natural and normal, indeed the ‘[day dreaming](https://www.gilespcroft.com/daydreaming-vs-worrying/)’ that occurs in the lead up to such momentous occasions can be almost as much fun as the event itself!)
But, as he related to me, every bit of future *imagining-what-it-was-going-to-be-like* placed him—his identity, let’s call him Alex—at the centre of it.
🙋🏻♂️
← (the thought of) Alex, at the gig
Again, totally normal. I mean, I think it would be really difficult (maybe impossible) to picture yourself at a future event, *without* you being there, yeah?
🧐
In all this daydreaming, he said he instinctively knew it wouldn’t be anything like he expected when he was there (he’d deliberately avoided watching the Eras Tour movie in advance) but he couldn’t really say *how*.
And then they day came. They were there, him and his daughter, and they had an absolutely fantastic time together.
It exceed all expectations.
🎵👩🎤🎤🎸🎶😲🙌🏻💃🏻🕺🏻
And in figuring out why, retrospectively, he noticed something curious.
🫥
← ‘Alex’ (the identity that had been so central to all the pre-gig thinking) ***hadn't been there**
*That* was what differed from the day dreams. *That’s* why it exceeded expectations.
Of course he'd had the odd moment of insecurity & self-consciousness (just read those words, with fresh eyes):
- ‘self’ – a creation of thought,
- was brought into ‘consciousness’
…where the mind got to work commenting on Alex being possibly the oldest person there! 😆
But mostly there was music and people and lights and sound and smells and vibrations and energy and dancing and singing and joy and Taylor frickin’ Swift, man!!!
But there was an absence of ego; a lack of personal thinking.
> **‘Alex’ was not required, for this awesome experience.**
And when the Alex Ego Construct 📦 wasn’t running the show, distracting from the *fact* of oneness, there was the *experience* of oneness.
Oneness that is always there (that’s who we are) 100.000000% of the time.
You’ve experienced the fact of oneness yourself, countless times, and at a gig it’s more obvious (I reckon it’s why we hand over our money so willingly!) but it’s really just the fundamental experience of ***being*** (of ‘Innate Health’) that’s available to us, 24/7.
It’s completely brilliant, and when you get an eye for it, you’ll experience it all the more.
You’ll see how few of life’s experiences even *require* the [creation of self-identity](https://www.gilespcroft.com/created-not-discovered/).
🤷🏻
So lose your self.
Lose your mind.
Do it as often as you can!
Because, as they say, *‘No self, no problem’*.
😌
Giles
p.s. the illusion of self might be the stickiest story the mind tells, but—by a long shot—it’s also the most freeing, when seen through. So if you feel like you're ‘stuck’ at a certain point on your journey, where you’re doing all the things you’ve been told to do but are still feeling rubbish a lot of the time, then it’s almost certainly got ‘self’ at the heart of it.
It's where having a trusted guide to help you through this stuff really comes into its own, to question, observe and point, so that you can have the insights that are just right for you, in a safe, non-judgemental space.
If you know it's time now for that change, get in touch with me here:
[APPLY FOR COACHING](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
### Related
[Created, not discoveredSeeing what’s \*not\* there when you’re doing your best work… that’s your ticket out 🫥The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/created-not-discovered/)
### A fact of life that will immediately improve yours
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-fact-of-life-that-will-immediately-improve-yours/
Last updated: 2026-08-04T09:56:51.000Z
Do you know the single biggest *practical* difference the Innate Health understanding has made to my life?
It's moods. Knowing how they work.
It's seeing this:
It's from [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/)'s timeless classic [Don't Sweat the Small Stuff](https://gilespcroft.link/dont-sweat-book/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
That last sentence is the show-stopper:
> *“Remember, it’s not your life that has suddenly changed for the worse in the past hour; it’s your mood.”* \~ Richard Carlson
🤯
Oh my *word*, is that important to see?!!
Because when we’re in a low mood, it's *so easy* to take it really seriously; to listen to what the mind is saying in these moments; to try and [do its bidding](https://www.gilespcroft.com/three-ways-to-deal-with-a-busy-mind/) so that we can ‘fix the problem’.
It's one of life's cruellest jokes that when we're *least* equipped to deal with a situation—up in our heads, disconnected, feeling all urgent, hijacked by our emotions—it seems like *that's* when we should roll up our sleeves and get to the serious business of changing our lives ‘in order to’ feel better!!
🤦🏻♂️
But of course it doesn't work like that.
⚠️
Our circumstances don't create our mood.
Our mood dictates the ‘reality’ we experience in that moment.
Getting your sleeves rolled up in a bad mood and ‘doing something’ just to satisfy ego's demands means it might shut up for a minute or two (allowing you to feel marginally better), but you're just building a rod for your back.
Because that very same ego is [only going to come back stronger](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-reinforcing-bad-behaviour/), demanding *more* in order to be appeased next time!
😫
(Very silly indeed, dancing to the tune of something that's [not even real](https://www.gilespcroft.com/created-not-discovered/).)
Look, I'm not above any of this and I get caught up in moods, just like the rest of my fellow humans. (Ask my housemates.)
The *only* thing you have to do is see how they work; to recognise that they’re a fact of life and that they sort themselves out, **if we stop making them worse by trying to fix them.**
So why not keep an eye out for this happening today? And when you catch yourself, back off… and watch your life improve, immediately.
💟
Giles
p.s. Of course this is all much easier to see playing out in *other* people, so see if you can spot your partner or your kids, your family or colleagues getting caught up in a low mood, before you turn the mirror on your self. (Oh, and if you value your relationship with that other person, keep it to yourself when you *do* see it! 😂)
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Do you know what mood you’re in?Because if you do, you’re winning 🙌🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-know-what-mood-youre-in/)
### A career poem
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-career-poem/
Last updated: 2026-08-04T09:57:05.000Z
In a recent Daily Reminder I wrote about how I'd dug out an old career change workbook to discover, to my surprise, that the dream I'd written down had [actually come true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/dreams-come-true/).
(Albeit a couple of decades later.)
And something else I stumbled upon in that workbook is too good not to share with you. Again, to set the scene, this is when I was on the cusp of leaving my career as a surgeon, 20+ years ago, because I was hacked off with how much of my life it was taking over.
The remit was simple enough: *Write a poem about your career.*
I've always been more of a prose than poetry person, so I didn't really fancy my chances, but it looks like I got out of my own way, because what ended up coming through 30-something Giles wasn't half bad!
> **My Career**
> My career is odd, it is
> It started here, with much a fizz
> And if you look at how I felt
> (back then, when all I'd do was help)
> You'll see I thought I knew it all,
> To be The Boss - walking tall!
> Curing ills, the famous blade
> *“Look at him, he's got it made:*
> *The car, the house, the kids, the wife*
> *Why surely that's one happy life?”*
> But all these treasures have a price
> To sell your soul, it isn't nice
> Outside there's still the happy grin
> While all that's good rots from within
> Helping others? Help yourself!
> You've left your values on the shelf
> Time cuts through you like the blade
> *“Oh heavens, what a mess I've made!”*
> So now it's time to start again
> Pick it up, look closely, then
> Make choices that you know are true
> You're further on, you know what's you
> Strength is needed. Yes, it's tough
> To change it all, start in the rough
> But this is what you'll leave behind:
> Your life, your works, your peace of mind.
I've always maintained that this juncture in my life was the first time I really started to realise the inside-out nature of things on some level – that all the ‘stuff’ and the ‘success’ didn't actually equate to peace of mind.
And here's the evidence!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Dreams come true…even if it takes 20 years! 🎂The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/dreams-come-true/)
More from inside that magical career workbook
### Old vs. new realities
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/old-vs-new-realities/
Last updated: 2026-08-04T09:57:36.000Z
In my [new job](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-not-quite-daily-daily-reminders/), I get to hang out with babies quite a bit, which is brilliant.
Because babies are awesome. Literally.
Their innocent ignorance of the world is the most refreshing, awe-inspiring thing a ‘grown-up’ could ever hope to witness.
Present to life, unencumbered by all the conditioned nonsense we’re carrying around in our cluttered old Thought Systems 📦 they live in a world of curiosity, [discovery and insight](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wonder-of-a-child/).
As grown-ups, it’s easy to forget (or we may not know) that babies’ untrained perceptual systems mean that they experience a very different reality from ours. It’s so different, they may as well be a different species with their [very own Umwelt](https://www.gilespcroft.com/lessons-from-the-animal-kingdom/)!
I remember when I was a new parent, and I had all sorts of questions – questions based on *my* understanding of the world, not my newborn’s, like:
- *“Why can’t I catch her attention?”*
- *“Why’s she doing *that*?!”*
- *“She’s snoozed, she’s fed and she’s changed, so why’s she so upset?!”*
- *“Why does she never, ever tire of peekaboo?”*
- *“Does she know who I am? How?”*
- *“Why does my voice go up an octave as soon as I start talking to her?!”* 😂
All innocent, grown-up questions, based on the illusion that we all inhabit an objective reality that babies just ‘don’t get… yet’.
But that’s not how ‘reality’ works – there's nothing about it that's objective, and babies are the ultimate demonstration of this weird and wonderful fact.
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a thought-created perceptual reality.
## Baby reality
Babies still operate in a world that's governed by the principles behind Innate Health, but the thought-perception element can be a bit baffling to our conditioned minds. For instance:
- Everything's complete mush to them, beyond about 12 inches – nothing but a blur.
A still, lifted from ***How far can babies see?** video on the excellent [CBeebies Parenting website](https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/articles/z39g3j6?ref=gilespcroft.com)
- Even weirder is the fact they can't see in 3-dimensions until about 3 months, nor even in colour for a few weeks! They live in a flat, black & white reality, which is only in focus very close-by… helping to explain why you waving to them from the other side of the room doesn't register.
- Babies start off with *better* hearing than us! Studies have shown that they're attuned to linguistic subtleties from languages all around the world that, by around 10 months, have been pruned. It's like they come into the world with their [aperture wide open](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-you-shaped-aperture/), and if something's not used, it narrows—irreversibly—over time. (*“Use it or lose it”* is a thing!)
- You probably know this: they have no object permanence. This means that peekaboo isn't just fun, it's a total freaking miracle to an infant 🤯 You cease to exist, then are re-created all over again – right there in front of them!
- Babies experience emotions, just like us, but they don't attach meaning to them like we do – that's learned, and comes much later. And it's the same with a sense of self: it's not innate, it's almost a skill that gets learned over time: [‘selfing’, if you like](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-did-the-idea-come-from/#who-decided-to-write-it-down). (A double-edged sword, that one 😉)
## Big person reality
It's easy to be a bit blasé about these weird and wonderful differences, but if you look closely you'll see that the whole experience being had—by you, now—is subjective.
We're not experiencing some objective ‘reality’ directly – it's being created on the fly, moment by moment, like some never-ending film show, playing out in our perceptions. This [separate reality](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/) is yours and yours alone – no one else can experience it.
[Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) described it simply in his book, [The Enlightened Gardener](https://sydneybanks.com/product/the-enlightened-gardener/?ref=gilespcroft.com), when he said:
> *“Take that rose bush, for example. We are all looking at the same plant, but our perception of it varies according to the way we each think and see.*
>
> *One person may see a vigorous rose, another may see a rose that could benefit from a little pruning, and a third may see a mess that no amount of attention would save.*
>
> *The rose bush isn't changing; it's the way we personally perceive it that differs, the way each of us thinks that colours our perception.”*
And as I heard another Innate Health practitioner say at a conference recently,
> *“I’m always surprised—every time!—to learn that nobody is living in my reality with me! And nobody ever can.”*
Which takes a bit of the pressure off, doesn't it? Because the next time you're having a disagreement with someone, you can rest easy that there's no need to prove who's ‘right’ and who's ‘wrong’, it's just two differently conditioned Thought Systems, piecing together reality in two different ways.
Both experiences are equally valid, both are equally ‘made up’, and crucially:
[](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“Everyone is doing the best they can, given the thinking that looks real to them.” \~ Syd Banks*
They say children are the best teachers, and the more time I spend in the presence of these awe-inspiring babies and toddlers, the more obvious this becomes.
💖
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[PerspectivesThere are points of view, and then there are entirely separate realities ♋️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/perspectives/)
This whole “seeing things differently” malarkey goes **much* deeper than you'd imagine
### I'm not afraid to say “I love you”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/im-not-afraid-to-say-i-love-you/
Last updated: 2026-07-26T06:00:38.000Z
I’ve got into a habit of signing off group sessions (like the Premium 🔖 Subscriber [group calls](https://www.gilespcroft.com/premium-group-calls/)) by saying,
> *“I love you all.”*
Which, if you’d told me I’d be doing—telling groups of relative strangers that I love them—a few years ago, I’d probably have freaked out a bit. Or at the very least questioned the appropriateness of my behaviour.
And yet I’ve noticed that I do it more and more easily all the time.
It seems I've become super-comfortable with the idea of ‘love’.
So I don’t ever ‘like’ 👍 other people’s social media posts, I ‘love’ ❤️ them.
I sign off my emails and my posts with a heart. 💟
It’ll even crop up in 1:1 [client conversations](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/) sometimes, mid-sentence:
> *“Well, look, I love you, and…”*
It got me thinking about what I mean by the word ‘love’, that I can bandy it around, so freely.
🤔
## Love = What you are
I think ‘love’ is a fantastic metaphor/synonym for [Innate Health](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/).
For [presence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/presence/). For soul, grace, god, being, wisdom, spirit, the now, the formless energy of life itself…
(When you’re ‘in love’ with someone, you’re both just resting in that [non-judgemental space together](https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-to-one/) and it feels good.)
So when I say *“I love you”* to my clients and to groups, I suppose it’s my way of saying,
> *“I’m here. In the reality of Now. Join me.”*
It’s the place of true understanding.
- Of creativity
- Of wisdom
- Of insight
- Of perspective
- Of peace.
It’s what we all seek, even if we don’t know it.
So, you have been warned. Don’t be freaked out if I tell you…
> **I love you.**
(Yes, you too, dear Reader!)
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[One to one“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field…” 🌾The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-to-one/)
### What life boils down to
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-life-boils-down-to/
Last updated: 2026-07-24T06:00:06.000Z
This one’s brief and to the point.
It’s a choice we get to make dozens and dozens of times, each and every day, until the day we die.
And it’s the single most important factor that determines the quality of the life we lead.
0:00
/0:31
1×
Which team are you?
💟
Giles
p.s. if you know it’s time to do something now, about spending too much time in your head, then maybe a period of guided unlearning is for you? It doesn’t take long (6 sessions is standard), it’s lighthearted, and the only entry requirement is a genuine hunger for real change.
[Apply Now For 1:1 Support](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals%20/)
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Quick insight - The Daily RemindersOne idea, expressed concisely and simply. No frills, stand-alone Daily Reminders for a quick hit ☝🏻The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/quick-insight/)
Short on time? These Daily Reminders get to the point quickly!
### Getting low moods to move on
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/getting-low-moods-to-move-on/
Last updated: 2026-07-22T06:00:48.000Z
That title got your attention, didn't it?
If I asked for a show of hands from anyone who experiences (and doesn't really like) low moods, then I think I'd probably get a 100% hit rate.
It's a universal thing.
(In fact, I can still remember the bit of local footpath where I had the realisation that ‘moods’—or ‘level of consciousness’—is pretty much *all* we ever experience, moment to moment, as humans! 😮)
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a thought-created perceptual reality
And the trick to getting the low ones to move on is attached to almost every Daily Reminder, albeit in a somewhat hidden fashion.
You see, after I’ve written a Daily Reminder I then have to tag each one, for search purposes, and to keep the [Topics Page](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/) up to date.
(Incidentally, **Search** 🔍 at the top of the site is really good – have you tried it yet? It’s [super-powered](https://vellumine.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com), quite clever and picks up everything.)
## Tagging topics
Anyway, when adding tags, I scan down a long list of potentials (at the time of writing, there are 77, and *that’s* why it takes so damn long! 🥴) and choose whichever seem appropriate to this particular story.
There’s a main, or *Primary* tag that appears in the descriptive cards you see on the website—these are obvious—but then there are many others attached to each post that will help them to surface when you search for that word, or something similar.
And for the last few months there are two tags that it’s felt appropriate to add to pretty much *every* Daily Reminder I’ve published; something that I see more deeply as time goes by, as being fundamental to living a life of ease and grace.
(And getting low moods to move on.)
Can you guess what they are?
(I’ll give you a moment to quiz yourself – what do **you* think are the two keys to this being-human malarkey?)
🤔💭
## Two tags for the ages
Ok, I’ll put you out of your misery. The first of the two tags that are currently shooting up the Daily Reminders charts, is:
👁️
****ATTENTION**
Because this is the gift that you’ve been given, in navigating your way through this thing we’ve labelled as ‘life’: attention. Awareness.
(In fact, it’s pretty much the [*only* tool we’ve been given](https://www.gilespcroft.com/sticky-labels/#reeling-it-back-in)!)
You can either sleep-walk your way through life, just reacting to stuff that comes along, with your conditioned mind—the Reader Ego Construct 📦—calling all the shots.
Or you can be awake to your felt state in any given moment and recognise what’s *actually* going on.
Which brings me to the *second* tag that currently tops the charts of specific, descriptive titles (with 203 posts!):
💭
****THOUGHT REALISATION**
That’s it. You wake up *to* the dream; to the fact that whatever you’re experiencing is [real, and not true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/).
You come to recognise that what you're experiencing is not actually ‘the way it is’, it’s a temporary thought-construct; a reflection of your current [state of consciousness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/), and nothing more. It can—and it *will!*—change.
(Which is how low moods move on.)
## Client wins
And so it was with a client of mine, who's in tune with these two staples. They turned up to a session in a buoyant enough mood, to report:
> *“I was in a bit of a bad mood last week. But I recognised it. Figured it would probably pass. And it did.”*
1. Attention to the felt state.
2. Recognition of its nature – a temporary thought construct.
And get on with life.
In a way, what's of note is the things they *didn't* do, for example:
- Take it seriously
- Read all sorts of meaning into it
- Believe the mind's myriad ‘reasons’ for *why-I'm-in-a-bad-mood*
- Take any of those ‘reasons’ and try and fix them from *within* the bad mood
- Get really hacked off about being in a bad mood and try to will it away.
Nope, they *“figured it would probably pass”* …
And it did.
## Resilience in action
It's not very exciting, is it?
But that's the beauty of the human operating system: you've got a built in, self-calibrating, [mental immune system](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mental-immune-system/) that doesn't require your input.
In fact, the less you tinker—the less [you *care*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/who-cares/)—the quicker those low moods will move on.
See for yourself.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Moods - The Daily RemindersLevels of consciousness, fluctuating all day, and all life long. Have a more healthy relationship with yours ↕️The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/moods/)
Given their omnipresence, there are also a lot of posts tagged with “Moods”
### You're already doing it
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/youre-already-doing-it/
Last updated: 2026-07-20T06:00:31.000Z
A little snippet of wisdom I once heard from [Michael Neill](https://amzn.to/4vwLtNS?ref=gilespcroft.com), I think maybe in answer to a question:
> *“How do I take my thinking less seriously?”*
Because that's what I'm always recommending to you, isn't it? In fact, just the other day, [we had a whole video](https://www.gilespcroft.com/three-ways-to-deal-with-a-busy-mind) that concluded with that very punchline.
And you (not **You*, but the Reader Ego Construct 📦) might have retorted,
> *“But how should I do that?”*
And Michael's answer was:
🤷🏻
You already are.
Thoughts come and go, ten to the dozen, and the overwhelming majority pass on [through the receiver](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-mind-isnt-made-for-thinking/) with nary a second glance. We don't hang on to them or take them seriously *at all*.
(Which is why you can't remember what you were thinking 30 minutes ago – give it a go!)
And then there are some thoughts that get plucked out of the ether and seem different somehow. The more ‘important’, negative ones that the mind has this weird tendency to try and hang on to.
But they're still just thought. We are free to [think anything at all](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-insert-topic-here-thought/), and free to let those go too.
No rules.
## If only we had a guide
We do. Because of this genius bit of human psychological design:
…our feelings let us know what thought is up to, in any given moment.
And as your friend and mine, [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/) [once said](https://gilespcroft.link/dont-sweat-book?ref=gilespcroft.com),
> *“You have at your disposal a foolproof guidance system to navigate through life. This system, which consists solely of your own feelings, lets you know whether you are off track and headed towards unhappiness and conflict – or on track, headed toward peace of mind.”*
Or, as Michael Neill concluded, more simply:
> *“Heaviness never helps.”*
Have yourself a day of lightness, love and understanding.
💖
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The ‘insert topic here’ thoughtMinds are creatures of habit, so we \*all\* get ‘bad’ thoughts that tend to reoccur. You’re not alone 💞The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-insert-topic-here-thought/)
More wisdom from Michael Neill (and a great video, too)
### Not taking things personally
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-taking-things-personally/
Last updated: 2026-07-19T06:00:01.000Z
I often get to a point with my [1:1 clients](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/), where something seemingly outrageous just slips out of my mouth.
For a brief, delightfully tense moment, I don’t know how it’s going to land.
The other day, my client had just been sharing a recent, enjoyable experience of getting together with old friends for a couple of days.
As I reflected on this, what I heard coming out of my gob was:
> *“D’you know *why* it was such a great weekend with those friends?*
> *It’s because *you* weren’t there!!”*
😳🙊😬
Thankfully, after the briefest of pauses, we both rolled around laughing at how easy it would be to take that personally.
But because this is a client I’ve been working with for a little while now and this week we were looking at the [nature of self-identity](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/#04-true-nature), they knew exactly what absence I was pointing to.
‘Self’ identity. How we innocently inhabit these roles that the mind creates, and how all of our behaviour ultimately stems from this mostly invisible sense of who we are being—or trying to be—in any given moment.
My client had had a great weekend away, because ‘self’ wasn't necessary for much of it. They were happy, relaxed and present.
‘They’ (i.e. the Client Ego Construct 📦) weren't there for extended periods, and it's only ever the mind that creates problems to fret about in the first place.
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Ego identity is completely normal, very practical and really not a problem until we fail to see it as a work of fiction.
Until we start taking it really seriously and find that very same ‘self’ going out of its way to protect its existence, or getting really upset [when it feels challenged](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/).
Seeing what’s going on—seeing *through* this primordial trick of the mind—is key. Indeed, as a mentor of mine [puts it](https://amzn.to/4vC7DP1?ref=gilespcroft.com), it is *‘the ultimate trap’.*
As the laughter died down and we both basked in the silence that followed, almost in unison we said,
> *“Bonkers.”*
🤯
A mind that creates something out of thin air, insists it’s real, gets shitty (with itself) when it’s not taken seriously and then seeks help to deal with this problem it has created… innocently unaware it’s even done any of this in the first place.
*“Bonkers”* doesn’t even come close!!
💟
Giles
p.s. It’s bonkers *and* it’s completely life-changing. So if you find *your* self taking things personally a lot of the time and you’d like to put a stop to that once and for all, then maybe it's time for some Innate Health coaching with me? When you're ready →
[Apply For Coaching](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
### Related
[Who’s under attack?Instant pressure-relief for when you’re being yelled at 😮💨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/)
### Three ways to deal with a busy mind
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/three-ways-to-deal-with-a-busy-mind/
Last updated: 2026-07-17T06:00:38.000Z
The topic of this clip is possibly my all time favourite. It’s a distinction I make with every client and every group that I work with, because I think it’s super-important.
It’s the difference between finding freedom ***from*** a busy mind and finding freedom ***with*** a busy mind.
Because I’m here to tell you that [the former is a pipe dream](https://www.gilespcroft.com/youre-not-going-to-get-peace-of-mind/) and anyone telling you otherwise is a snake oil salesman, best avoided!
But the latter is definitely up for grabs… in fact it’s inevitable once you have some insights around the [nature of thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-upstream/#4-nature-of-thought).
Here in this short clip I spell out the three ways you can deal with a busy mind… one of which actually works!
0:00
/2:08
1×
So here's a question for you to reflect on, after watching that:
🤔
****What if… it was that simple?**
What do you think would happen if you became [utterly disinterested](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-ignoring-thought-is-not-the-answer/) by the voice in your head?
Not so much because it's something ‘bad’ or something to be feared (it's not!), but rather because it's just harmless nonsense?
Do you think it might start to lose steam, of its own accord, as you paid it less and less attention? 🤔
Only one way to find out!
💟
Giles
p.s. Objections? [Drop me a line](mailto:dr@gilespcroft.com) and I'll do my best to address them for you!
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Why ignoring thought is not the answerThe subtle, powerful difference between ignoring and dismissing thought 🫣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-ignoring-thought-is-not-the-answer/)
Ok, ok, I know he says “ignore” … but it's a touch more subtle than that.
### Dreams come true
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/dreams-come-true/
Last updated: 2026-07-23T11:23:36.000Z
> *“This is very cool!”*
> \~ Tom, UK
> *“OMG!! Reading this Daily reminder pulled me up sharpish. The realisation that actually I am living my dream – this is the future I always dreamed of, as a kid! How did I never see it was here?”*
> \~ Wendy, UK
---
The other day I was toiling up a local climb—a favourite of mine—in 33.5ºC heat, commuting to one of the various offices I now get to work from with my [part time job](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-not-quite-daily-daily-reminders/), when I had a sudden flashback.
You see, twenty years ago, when I was 5 years out of clinical medicine, and already a bit disillusioned with my *next* job, I went and sought independent careers advice.
Again.
It was [really good](https://www.medicalforum.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) tailor-made guidance for medics wanting to do something a bit different. I'd already been through their Career Review process 3 years previously (when I suspected I was maybe on the verge of leaving surgery) so I knew what I was in for.
The most exciting part of the programme was in the section called **Creativity and Career Vision**, and the instructions were to *“Write a positive letter to a favourite aunt or relative, telling them about the new, absolutely perfect job that you have found…”*
(I've got it open in front of me, and am typing, verbatim.)
### The first stab at it
Now, I can remember the first time I did this, in 2003, and I was still so medically-indoctrinated—painfully ignorant of the wider possibilities that life had to offer—that my attempt was a little… unimaginative, shall we say. Somewhat vanilla.
(*“Middle of the road”* was how the careers coach described that first workbook.)
The experiences that my Thought System 📦 had collected back then were quite constrained, and I never thought to question what was outside of it (apart from learning new surgical techniques and cramming anatomy facts).
Tellingly, in the bit asking *How balanced is your life?* while I scored highly on things like **Social** and **Health**, when it came to the **Spiritual** scale, I gave it the lowest possible score and wrote that I didn’t understand the question!!
🤦🏻♂️😂
### Older, ‘wiser’ and *way* more open
But after a few years away from the wards, with one fairly major career change under my belt and having been introduced to the wild and whacky world of ‘personal’ (i.e. ego) development, I was more open to possibility the second time round, so I really let rip with what I *actually* wanted.
Of note, this was *after* I’d spent 4 months cycling 4,300 miles to Türkiye and back on my own—blogging about it as I went—but *before* I’d landed a Features Writer + Medical Advisor role at [Cycling Plus magazine](https://gilespcroft.link/300-cols/?ref=gilespcroft.com).
At this point, most of my days were spent in creatively uninspiring, often frustrating meetings with NHS and Department of Health officials, before cramming as much cycling into my spare time as possible.
No surprise then that creativity and writing and cycling and fitness were right at the top of my career wish list. And what suddenly sprang to mind the other day, as I toiled up my favourite long, wooded, hairpinned climb on my way to the office, was something I had the faintest memory of writing in that *“positive letter”* about the *“perfect job.”*
So today I dug the old workbook out of storage, to see what I’d actually written. Imagine my surprise when I read about this dream I had visualised:
> *“I’ve bought a house 20 miles away and cycle in, natch. I planned it perfectly – there are no less than four routes into work, for all types of weather and all types of training … my favourite is *the one with a 5km climb up through the forest, hairpins to boot*: bliss.”*
And here’s the *actual* profile of the commute I did the other day: 25-ish miles, with a 5km climb up through the forest, hairpins to boot:
You could not make this up. Bliss indeed (for a Giles).
😳 😲 🤯
20 years later, that dream is real-ised.
### And more…
That’s not all I found in this remarkably prescient, 20-years-old document. The recommendations from the careers coach in particular (written, remember, when I still had employee DNA coursing through my veins and the thought of not having a regular paycheque terrified me) made my jaw drop:
1. **Business**. Own. Though probably more as a freelance consultant or recognised expert, than someone who builds a team of people
2. **Educating**. Being in a role where a key function is informing others or sharing insights
3. **Writing**. Giles has an amazing way with words – an ability to convey information in a way that is both entertaining and engaging. He needs to be involved in an activity where this is a key part of the work, i.e. giving his viewpoint, sharing his thoughts, analysing what is happening, putting it in a format that others can access, enjoy and benefit from.
And here we are. [The Daily Reminders](https://gilespcroft.com/newsletter/?ref=gilespcroft.com) (est. 2024) are open access, and (hopefully!) tick all those boxes for you, not to mention me!
### What’s your take home?
Well, you tell me.
- Does this tale inspire you to dream big?
- Leave you in despair at the length of time these sorts of goals take to come to fruition?
- Conclude that this is all just wish-fulfilment nonsense?
- Help you to relax into your current state of affairs?
- Are you living a long-ago dream, but had not noticed…?
[Drop me a line](mailto:dr@gilespcroft.com) or leave a comment below (🔖) and let me know!
---
My main, personal takeaway from all this, is this observation:
🌈
We can’t really escape our authentic desires.
They’re going to find their way out through us, eventually… ***or*** … they’re going to endlessly frustrate and embitter us, if we insist on ignoring them; listening instead to the mind’s petty fears.
(It’s up to you, my friend. It’s your life, after all.)
The other thing that strikes me is that dreams don’t arrive with any particular fanfare (certainly not the one that ego aches for, anyway).
As in this case, they’re more likely to come cunningly disguised as Tuesday… which kinda rules them out as somewhere to go looking for your wellbeing.
🤷🏻♂️
There *are* no [finish lines](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finish-lines/), and no [corners to turn](https://www.gilespcroft.com/there-is-no-corner-to-turn/), because you are *already* ‘[living the dream](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)’.
So you might as well enjoy every minute of the journey – you’re in it for the long haul!
🚀
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Wisdom is contextualIf you can see your path laid out ahead of you… well then, it’s not your path. 🧭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-is-contextual/)
More on career change.
### Go from detailed to simple
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-from-detailed-to-simple/
Last updated: 2026-07-13T06:00:37.000Z
I want to follow up on yesterday's Daily Reminder, that looked at what's going on when we're at loggerheads with someone else.
If you haven't watched the short (3 min) video I posted, all about finding common ground when we're disagreeing with someone, then I recommend taking a moment to do so (it's really good)! → [Finding common ground in conflict](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finding-common-ground-in-conflict/).
You back? Hurrah!
Now, you'll have noticed I finished that video with the ‘solution’ to this problem (although strictly speaking, it's just a natural follow-on from seeing how it all works) and today, I want to go into that a bit more by offering some practical advice.
(I know, right! 😮)
Because it came up with a client and it helped them—*really* helped them, I found out, later that day—so I don't see why you shouldn't benefit from this little tip, too.
My client presented with a common enough problem: regular tricky conversations with someone close (over the phone). Nothing abusive or worrying, just a persistent failure to see eye to eye, and a feeling on both sides that things could, and maybe should be much better.
(We've all been there, don't pretend otherwise.)
And they wanted to know what to do. Because they had one coming up.
The way the coaching conversation was going, it made sense to me to share the same Richard Carlson piece of writing I read out in [yesterday's video](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finding-common-ground-in-conflict/), and then we got to looking at how we might *apply* that understanding to a future conversation.
Now, giving people advice and telling them what to do aren't really my bag (how the hell should I know what's right for anyone?!) so I was a *bit* stumped, and all I could come up with was what seemed like a little bit of a lame suggestion to go into the conversation with the following question on their mind:
> *Am I going in ‘detailed’ or am I going in ‘simple’?*
🧐
Because ‘detailed’ is all the stuff that lives *inside* that rabble-rousing Thought System 📦 of ours, so it's things like:
- Past conversations & interactions
- Our appraisal of ‘how they are’
- Expectations of how the conversation should go (or probably *will* go, amirite)?
- History we have with them – old disagreements, or disappointments
- What we think they should do…
…and a bazillion other things that minds like to place front and centre when in these sorts of interactions.
Whereas ‘simple’ is *just* listening.
Like this:
Simple really is easier.
The subtlest of notions to have in your head, when entering these situations:
> *Am I going in ‘detailed’ or am I going in ‘simple’?*
My client tried it, and I received an excited text later that day, after two conversations that had gone completely differently from usual.
A *very* happy customer.
Not from techniques. Not from preparing what to say. Not from reframing or putting a brave face on it, pretending it didn't matter.
Just from being with another person, without all the detail.
Simple.
Give it a go and let me know how you get on!
💟
Giles
p.s. Want your own 1:1 support, like this? I do these mostly on a Thursday these days. When the time's right for you, here's the link →
Premium 🔖 content
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening)
For ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers** there's a deeper look at the art of listening, with extra written and audio content, in the form of an article entitled **Creative Listening.*
[Read & Listen to the Article Now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening)
### Finding common ground in conflict
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/finding-common-ground-in-conflict/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T06:57:25.000Z
Let's get real for minute and be honest, in answering this question:
> ***How much of life is filled with conflict with other people?***
🤔
It's a lot, isn't it?
Family members, children, work colleagues, those other people, that idiot on social media… disagreement is everywhere!
It's why communication and understanding are so high up on the **List of Very Important Things™** when it comes to relationships, of any flavour really.
Once, when I was prepping for an event I ran, on the topic of *Difficult People,* I stumbled across a piece of writing that changed my view on conflict and disagreement entirely.
(It dropped such a clanging insight in my head as I was reading it, that I can still recall the feeling! I remember thinking, *“Now why hadn't I seen this before?!”* and then just sitting quietly for a bit, to let the insight percolate.)
It's from Richard Carlson's book, [*What About the Big Stuff?*](https://amzn.to/4ftLqh6?ref=gilespcroft.com) and it's *so* powerful and *so* on the money that I want to share it with you.
I've left this until a Sunday, because it goes deeper than you'd imagine and I want you to really take the time to slow down and listen properly to it, with an open heart and an open mind.
💗
I can pretty much guarantee it will catch you off guard and present a **totally** different perspective on conflict.
One that gives you a clear path to ending it, *whatever* the relationship.
Wouldn't that be nice?
0:00
/3:19
1×
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Listening - The Daily RemindersAn appreciation for the alchemy that occurs when truly present to what’s being said.The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/listening/)
Spoiler: it's the solution.
### Putting your hand back in the fire
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-your-hand-back-in-the-fire/
Last updated: 2026-07-10T06:00:08.000Z
Here at Croft Towers, we have a set of family values.
Nothing fancy, just a list of good ideas that the three of us sat down and agreed upon, one day.
(It was Mrs Croft’s idea, she’s good like that.)
It’s blu tacked to the side of the piano in the living room, and if things are getting out of hand, it’s a nice guiding light to come back to.
In a previous post, I talked about [recovery from traumatic life events](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-job-vs-your-job/), and how the path to healing, is forgetting.
And one of our values speaks to this. It goes:
> ***“Don’t put your hand back in the fire.”***
You see, in a family, or any relationship really, there will always be little flare-ups.
I don’t know about your house, but here we often forget that we all live in [completely separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/) and our flat-mates, no matter how close we are to them, can *not* read our minds.
Therefore, misunderstandings occur.
Thought Systems 📦 get all shook up.
Tempers flare.
And because of the nature of the human operating system, those same Thought Systems 📦 settle down again, pretty quickly.
A bit like a [snow globe](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pollution-solution/#:~:text=It%27s%20like%20our%20own%2C%20personal%2C%20built%20in%20little%20snow%20globe%2C%20that%20settles%20as%20soon%20as%20we%20stop%20shaking%20it.).
(Good job too, otherwise you’d be as angry/elated/sad/disappointed as you’d *ever* been, right now! 😳)
🔑
****Key Message**: RESILIENCE is our inbuilt capacity to fall out of our thinking and back into the NOW
But here’s the thing.
Thought Systems 📦 have a very low tolerance for you feeling properly good, because this situation—uncomplicated, [pure presence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-tree/)—equates to them not really being used. It means they've shut up for a bit.
(It’s called ‘peace of mind’ for a reason.)
And nobody likes being left out, *especially* Thought Systems that like to think they're [in charge of everything](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/).
So d’you know what they do?
It’s crazy, but they reactivate the hurt.
🥺🤦🏻♂️
That's right, having settled, and coming back to peace, the mind, so very often, likes to start thinking again about the thing that it got all upset about in the first place.
It makes it feel wanted & useful. Busy, and helpful.
But of course it just makes matters worse.
It means we hang on to our hurts, keeping them alive and fighting the present moment with our thinking, which in turn clouds any perspective that might be waiting for us to gain.
This is what we refer to, here at Croft Towers as, *“putting your hand back in the fire.”*
Now why would you want to go and do that?!
🔥
Giles
p.s. If your mind just. won’t. stop. *“putting its hand back in the fire”* over something and it’s driving you mad, then reach out for help →
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Mental immune systemResilience is a lot more simple than they make out. And it’s happening all the time. 🔮The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mental-immune-system/)
Same. But in the shower. (I bet you've done this.)
### “Do you like this song, Dad?”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-like-this-song-dad/
Last updated: 2026-07-08T06:00:08.000Z
The evidence for this, below, is absolutely everywhere… *if* you look for it:
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a thought-created perceptual reality
(If you read that and are like, WTF Giles?! then have a go at [this little video Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/), it explains all.)
## Case in point
I’m in the kitchen with my daughter, as she decides to start making ice cream from scratch, for the first time ever, with no special equipment at 20:15 on a school night (let’s not go there).
She’s got music on—her music—and I’m sitting at the table, doing some work and generally being around for the bits of the process she might struggle with (not that *I’ve* ever made ice cream from scratch with no special equipment, either).
😬
I’m totally not listening to the music—not actively, at least—because all my attention is on sorting through emails and messages.
**And then I read one that ‘makes me’ smile.**
🃏
Remember, although the reality is that 100% of our emotions come from thought-perception (and **not* from our circumstances) it doesn’t **look* like that, and it doesn’t play out like that (which is the whole reason the [Daily Reminders](https://gilespcroft.com/newsletter/?ref=gilespcroft.com) exist)!
So for me, as well as for you, situations and circumstances still look like **they* are the cause of my felt experience of life, even when they’re not.
It’s a trick of the mind and it’s [not an illusion you can see through](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)… you can just be wise to it, which makes [all the difference](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-wont-believe-your-eyes/).
With the music pumping and a positive message in front of me, I’m fully (and harmlessly, I might add) inhabiting this very ‘outside-in’ experience. And my hands just happen to be tapping out the beat of the song, on my legs.
([I do this](https://www.gilespcroft.com/metaphors-all-the-way-down/). I apologise if you’ve ever had to sit in a room with me for any length of time.)
Which prompts my daughter to ask, with a little surprise,
> *“Hey Dad, do you *like* this song?!”*
All of a sudden, I ‘wake up’ and find myself stumped.
## It depends
The only honest answer is,
> *“I don’t know,”* or maybe
> *“It depends.”*
Because it does.
Mood—or [level of consciousness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)—*always* comes first. That’s what we mean by the 🔑 **Key Message** at the top: we’re not experiencing music, or home-made ice cream or late bedtimes or other people, we’re experiencing a **Thought**\-created perceptual reality!
And that ‘reality’ we experience in the moment is brought into form by **Consciousness** – by our current frame of mind.
3️⃣
…and this whole process is powered by the energy of life, or ‘****Mind**’. These are the ‘[3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ you’ll hear me refer to.
So the answer she gets is:
> *“Well, I’m in a good mood right now. So your music’s not bothering me. My mind’s picking out the bits it likes—to match my mood—which is why I’m tapping along to the beat. But ask me when I’m feeling less cheerful and no, it’ll be annoying crap and I’ll ask you to turn it down.”*
And I bet you’re glad *you* don’t live with me, am I right?!?!
🤓🥴
Anyway, thank you to the person who sent the message that sparked this ‘outside-in’ journey, because I maintained my good humour, patience and understanding (not to mention flexibility in helping to follow a fairly tricky recipe) until its conclusion at 22:15 on a school night.
And the result, the next day, was delicious!
🍦😋
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[You won’t believe your eyesA truly remarkable illustration of the ‘made up’ thought-created reality we all inhabit 😲The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-wont-believe-your-eyes/)
How a simple window illusion unlocks the mysteries of your experience
### Scary stories come with scary feelings
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/scary-stories-come-with-scary-feelings/
Last updated: 2026-07-06T06:00:42.000Z
There’s a thing that comes up regularly with people, and that’s the issue of feeling a bit scared.
I think we all feel this way from time to time. I know I do. And just last night, on our [Premium 🔖 Group](#/portal/account/plans) call, it was happening to someone with regard to money.
They were scared. About what would happen if they didn’t have any money.
It’s really common! (Kind of baked into our genes, I think.)
The other day I was listening to a client, who was being plagued with scary feelings. Something bad, that threatened their physical safety, had happened in the past and as a result, they felt scared in certain situations: being alone in the dark, primarily.
This sucks, but it’s perfectly understandable. When the mind has accepted an experience into that repository we call our Thought System 📦 then it’s free to pull that file back out at any time, [using the past to try and predict the future](https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/).
It’s normal, it’s natural, and as crazy as it sounds, these feelings are actually the mind [doing its best to be helpful](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trauma-and-triggers/) (I know right – doesn’t seem like it, does it)?!
Anyway, we were talking this problem through and I suddenly found myself agreeing wholeheartedly with it all and saying,
> *“Absolutely! Scary stories always come with scary feelings!”*
Which gave us both pause, because it was immediately apparent in the silence that erupted, that the reverse was true, too:
😲
Scary feelings are **always* the mind producing scary stories.
Which put a whole different spin on the situation my client was facing. Because all of a sudden they could see that:
- The scary feeling wasn’t actually happening now
- When it does happen, the subject/content of the story being created isn’t happening either
- There’s an almost infinitesimally small chance of it coming true
- Even if it did, that would be a different moment, and all manner of brilliant, built-in capacities we have, designed for this very situation—presence, focus, fight, flight—would kick in and we’d handle it.
All from seeing this ultra-reliable connection:
🔑 ****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality.
Armed with this insight, imagine all the [scary stories](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-fallibility-of-memory/) you can [safely enjoy](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-zone-of-safety/)!
😁
Giles
Premium 🔖 content
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-place-of-safety/)
For ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers** there's a deeper look at the notion of safety, what is is, and how we can feel more of it, regardless of circumstance. It comes in both written and audio-narrated forms, and is called **A Place Of Safety.*
[Read & Listen to the Article Now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-place-of-safety/)
### The game is hide and seek
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-game-is-hide-and-seek/
Last updated: 2026-07-05T06:00:42.000Z
So I’m listening to Howard Jones, as I often do, and one of his most famous songs comes on: *Hide and Seek* (the one he played at [Wembley Stadium for Live Aid](https://youtu.be/Nh6ZAZI06DM?ref=gilespcroft.com) in 1985).
It still sends shivers down my spine, whenever I hear it! If memory serves, [*Human’s Lib*](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy%5FnppHfd8T75muiLG43baeITQ2L4q%5FHNfQE&si=elxdrxHMnXQCu10F&ref=gilespcroft.com) was the first proper album I ever owned (on cassette, natch), and it just blew me away. HoJo is why I love keyboards!
This song, in particular, fascinated me. Given that it’s written as a story of sorts, as a child of 12, I used to wonder at the lyrics, which in part read:
> *So she had built her elaborate home*
> *With its ups and its downs, its rains and its sun*
> *She decided that her work was done, time to have fun*
> *and she found a game to play*
> *Then as part of the game*
> *She completely forgot where she'd hidden herself*
> *And she spent the rest of her time*
> *Trying to find the parts*
I remember trying to follow it, logically, as far as I could before always giving up and thinking I just wasn’t clever enough to understand.
(Can we just take a moment to raise a glass to little Giles, trying his best to grok the human condition, even way back then 😍)
It’s pretty clear to me now that he’s talking about our ‘True Selves’ – that indescribable essence of who-we-really-are, *before* thinking.
🔑
****Key Message**: Who you really are is BEFORE thought
That, without which the world cannot be perceived or seen. “[The first knowing](https://altar-records-europe.bandcamp.com/track/the-first-knowing?ref=gilespcroft.com),” as I’ve heard it described.
---
This notion of hide and seek came up in a conversation with a client the other day, as we were looking at moods, and how when we’re in a low mood, we genuinely can’t find our (True) selves.
Not only does it look like it’s gone, but we can’t even comprehend that it was there in the first place!
😂
We’re so lost in the mind’s stories and, as a consequence, everything looks so real and serious and urgent and impossible.
But then when we’re present to life and we’re *not* being distracted by the mind’s chatter, we’re back in touch with who-we-really-are and we’re swimming in intuition and creativity and understanding and all is just flowing easily.
And it seems a bit silly that we thought we’d lost it.
🤦🏻
But here’s the thing: the game is **hide-and-seek**. It’s not *find-and-stay-found!* Where would be the fun in that?!
No, life has its ups and its downs, its rains and its sun.
The chorus, tellingly, goes:
> *Hope you find it in everything.*
> *Everything that you see.*
> *Hope you find me in you.*
Forty years later, my mind still can’t really understand these things, but I’m grateful for the feeling this song brings out in me.
And I rejoice each and every time it *looks* like I’ve lost it, but then the dynamics of this eternal game of hide and seek shift, and, once more, I “find it in everything.”
Everything that I see.
💟
Giles
p.s. If you want help with life’s ups and downs, however insurmountable they may seem, then putting people back in touch with the firm ground of Innate Health is what I do → [https://gilespcroft.com/individuals](https://gilespcroft.com/individuals?ref=gilespcroft.com)
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[You are (not) the BuddhaHow both are true and why seeing this matters 🪷The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-are-not-the-buddha/)
Another [Sunday Spiritual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/); this time one where I baldly **disagree* with HoJo 😳
### Flies are neutral
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/flies-are-neutral/
Last updated: 2026-07-03T06:00:37.000Z
We had a full-on heatwave here in the UK last week. The entire upper storey of the house was uninhabitable, we lived as a family—working, resting, eating, sleeping—in the one cool(ish) room in the house, many cold showers were taken and I eventually took to overnighting outdoors in our van, as the only way of returning my body temperature to something approaching normal and getting a good night’s sleep.
Any time the sun wasn’t directly on them, windows and curtains were wide open.
Which meant there were more flies than normal.
Flies are pesky, aren’t they?
- Sometimes they’re there, sometimes they’re not
- They have a tiring regularity to them – swat one and another appears
- The more you chase them, the more persistent they seem
- It’s easy to become a bit obsessed with achieving some unattainable state of ‘no flies’ (to the detriment of all else).
## Fly drama
On that last point, during the recent heatwave, one of us was very much in this camp. TV couldn’t be watched, homework couldn’t be done, meals couldn’t be eaten—the room couldn’t even be occupied!—if there was a fly.
Every time one was observed, there was drama.
🪰😩
Personally, I’m not *particularly* bothered by them. They’ll fly around and occasionally land on me, at which point a swish of the hand will put them back into flight. One might be attracted to the TV screen, but it’ll find something else to occupy it not long after, and go again.
I’ll generally get on with my life, in spite of flies.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I (and when I say “I” here, I’m referring to the Giles Ego Construct 📦) doesn’t *like* flies. Quite the opposite.
If you were a child in the UK in the 1980’s, you’ll no doubt have been traumatised, as I was, by the Public Service Announcement-type posters that seemed to be *everywhere* (realistically, there’d have been one on a wall at school somewhere, but boy did that image stick in my Thought System!!!), spelling out in gory detail *exactly* how flies work.
But unless I’m literally sitting down to eat the steak in question and a fly tries to spend five minutes on it (or unless one of my house-mates is having the screaming abdabs and I’m tasked to, upon pain of death), I’m unlikely to spring into action with the fly swatter, and ensure I never get into Buddhist Heaven (is that a thing)?
## Flies are neutral
Which makes flies the perfect metaphor, surely?
You know, for thoughts.
- Sometimes they’re there, sometimes they’re not
- They have a tiring regularity to them – swat one and another appears
- The more you chase them, the more persistent they seem
- It’s easy to become a bit obsessed with achieving some unattainable state of ‘no thought’ (to the detriment of all else).
Let’s not do that, eh?
Because flies are quite obviously neutral. They just are. Sometimes they bother us, sometimes they don’t. They *can* require that action is taken, but most often, they don’t.
They affect different people/beings differently (*“Spiders don’t mind them, do they Dad?”* my Chica once observed, in a moment of clarity during flying ant season) and generally, the less attention you pay them, the more at ease you will be with life and all the things that are a natural part of it.
Just like thought.
💟
Giles
p.s. The picture at the top of this Daily Reminder could almost act as an Innate Health Barometer® 🌡️ If that image slid in, and then back out of your consciousness without making that much of an impact, well, hey ho.
But if it filled you with horror and got your snow globe all shook up (to the point where you’re unlikely to be reading this p.s!), then why not [get in touch for some support](https://gilespcroft.com/individuals?ref=gilespcroft.com). Because that experience can—and will—change completely after a block of sessions together. 💝
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Inside-OutThat one time I shut my mouth and life delivered the answers. 🤐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/)
A proper look at how **everything* that arises is neutral.
### There is no corner to turn
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/there-is-no-corner-to-turn/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T07:01:57.000Z
> **“There *is* no corner to turn!”**
😲
Such a simple, but profound observation, related to me by a client (thank you for letting me share 💝)
A philosophy to live by, even.
Because, how much of our lives do we spend with this invisible belief driving all our behaviours?
- Raising children… *it’ll be better when I’ve turned the corner.*
- Advancing through a career… *it’ll be better when I’ve turned the corner.*
- A financial situation… *it’ll be better when I’ve turned the corner.*
- Relationship difficulties… *it’ll be better when I’ve turned the corner.*
- Mental health issues… *it’ll be better when I’ve turned the corner.*
- Spiritual growth… *it’ll be better when I’ve turned the corner.*
We’re *so* focused—innocently, I must add—on tomorrow being better than today, that we don’t actually get to live life!
⌚
Tomorrow is just a thought. It’s not actually a thing.
You don’t ***ever*** get to experience it. That’s just a trick of the mind; it’s ego, dangling ‘not this’ in front of you like a carrot on a string that you’ll never reach.
Indeed, it’s this comparison with what-can-never-be (an idea of perfection) that keeps us miserable and stuck and makes reality appear—to the mind, at least—dull, when held up against this fantasy.
It’s a game you can’t win.
So next time you catch the mind wishing your life away, just remember: [*this is it*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-it/). This is what I get.
THIS—right here, right now—is life!
By all means take action (you can’t not do, really) but do it from this place of understanding. It’s got a very different feel to it.
There *is* no corner to turn.
You’re already there.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
**Related**
[This is itOh how the mind detests the actual experience of the things it looks forward to 🙄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-it/)
Minds are weird. Why not opt out?
### Compassion for those who dislike you
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/compassion-for-those-who-dislike-you/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T19:08:05.000Z
It’s the beginning of the week and in the coming days there’s near certainty you’ll have an interaction with somebody who doesn’t really like you.
Bummer, eh?
If only we could get everybody to properly understand us, surely they’d have no reason to dislike us? I mean, what’s wrong with these people? Why do they have to be so judgemental?!
🫢
Oh, wait, was that *me* being judgemental?
Oops.
---
I was working with a client recently, who was worried about what other people were going to think of them, at an upcoming event.
So we got into it, and quickly established two basic facts:
## Fact #1
⚠️
Whatever other people think about you, **they’re* the ones having that experience, not you.
This cracks me up, because it’s so damned obvious, and yet we forget it—and consequently get very het up about it—all the time!
It’s beyond the laws of space, time and matter that you could actually be party to the experience someone else is having. They get theirs, you get yours.
- So if they’re angry with you – that anger is theirs. They’re the ones feeling it
- If they love you – that love is theirs. They’re the ones feeling it.
As one of my mentors says,
> *“What other people think, is between them and them.”*
Good to know!
## Fact #2
⚠️
We don’t experience others, we experience our own Thought System—ourselves!—reflected in them.
This is the corollary of **Fact #1**, really, and a direct implication of the [inside-out](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) nature of our experience (albeit a bit of a slippery and counter-intuitive one).
But if you stick Joe Bloggs in a room with 10 people, there’ll be 11 different versions of Joe in that room: one ‘reality’ being created from the conditioned mind of each of those present, and of course Joe’s own creation of himself. (Which [isn’t strictly his](https://www.gilespcroft.com/recordings/), either.)
All of them different. None of them true (not even Joe’s)!
It’s enough to make your head spin.
😵💫
It might help to look at this diagram I stumbled across on the internet once:
Sorry, I have zero idea of attribution for this one, but a huge thank you to whoever took the time to make it.
Makes you think, doesn’t it?
🤔
## Those who don’t like you
So where does this leave us with those people you’ll bump into this week, who don’t like you? Because **Fact #1** and **Fact #2** demonstrate that *whatever* they feel, it’s not really about you, it’s about them.
And if they’re the ones stuck with bad thought/feelings about you, wouldn’t that be cause for compassion?
I mean, god knows what’s accumulated in their Thought System 📦 as it’s been hoovering up experiences throughout their life, but whatever it is, it’s causing all sorts of consternation for them, when you show up, just being yourself.
I’d say that qualified for a bit of [Syd's](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) oft-repeated ‘love and understanding’, wouldn’t you?
After all, casting your mind back to the opening of this piece, it’s easy to see that judging others is just something that *all* minds do – yours, mine, everybody’s.
We all suffer when we take that thinking seriously… let’s bear that in mind!
❤️🩹
Giles
p.s. I *had* to look, and the etymology of the word ‘compassion’ is Latin: ***com*** (together) + ***pati*** (suffer). We’re all in this together!
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The one relationship that defines all othersWhat we mean when we trot out the frankly ridiculous saying, “There are no other people.” 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/)
### The space in which experience happens
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-space-in-which-experience-happens/
Last updated: 2026-06-28T06:00:26.000Z
Recently, I’ve been getting into feeling my way into Innate Health. Just really enjoying relaxing into the [simplicity of it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/peace-be-with-you/): that space that’s available 24/7, that the whole of our experience of life occurs within.
Call it presence, call it grace, (call it ‘bingy-bongy’ if you like 😉) – it’s the closest to reality we’ll ever get: perception *before* psychology.
I wrote, a while ago, about [going out on a bike ride](https://www.gilespcroft.com/modes-of-thinking/) and quieting down mentally, and how nourishing that was—even for just a brief period—but we don’t need any special circumstances to do this. Life’s there the entire time, waiting for us to notice it, in all its glory!
Someone replied to that email and said,
> *“…just now hanging out the washing … the smell of the clean laundry, the bird song, the cobwebs on the washing line - the ‘is-ness’ of this moment, mind quietened temporarily. Good to know, right, that it's available anytime?”*
Good to know, indeed 😍
That particular scenario reminded me of a clip I made years ago, from one of the first courses I ran, called [*De-Stress Your Life*](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrMtpTZuIdxiSBuxCh%5FCSnWQmma-jx98U&ref=gilespcroft.com).
It was week 5, we were all relaxed, it was a lovely summer’s evening (you can hear the birds through my open window in the clip) and I was telling a random little story about an encounter with a feathered friend earlier that day, out in my back garden.
Life being totally unpredictable, it ended up veering off into an exploration of our [TRUE NATURE](https://gilespcroft.com/the-journey/?ref=gilespcroft.com#04-true-nature), and me and my fellow group participants felt our way into that space, this time by looking directly at it.
I always enjoy listening to these 4 minutes myself – there’s an energy to it that’s hard to beat; more so maybe than anything else I’ve ever produced. It used to have terrible audio so I’ve remastered it and re-uploaded it for your pleasure.
I’m going to echo the words of Syd Banks here, when he says, *“Don’t listen to the words, listen for a feeling,”* because even though I’m pointing to that space I keep banging on about by describing it with words, if you’re trying to figure it out, you’ll miss it completely.
Headphones and a nice relaxed mind are recommended… but not mandatory, of course.
Enjoy. It’s been made with love.
If it doesn’t play in your browser for some reason, here’s the link: [https://youtu.be/PGrpKnU9RE0](https://youtu.be/PGrpKnU9RE0?ref=gilespcroft.com)
💟
Giles
p.s. the most powerful thing I’ve found to do with clients is to guide them, step by step, back to their [TRUE NATURE](https://gilespcroft.com/the-journey/?ref=gilespcroft.com#04-true-nature), because it’s where we find the answers we’re looking for (even if we don’t know that’s what we’re looking for)!
So if you’re tired of pretending to be someone you know you’re not and you’d like to do something about that, I’m here to help. Read about what it means to have me by your side as co-pilot for the journey by clicking the button below, and when you’re ready for change, use the form at the bottom of that page to get in touch:
[Apply For 1:1 Support](https://gilespcroft.com/individuals?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Peace be with you
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/peace-be-with-you/
Last updated: 2026-06-26T06:00:44.000Z
[Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/), bringing the super-simple wisdom today:
[](https://gilespcroft.link/carlson-happy?ref=gilespcroft.com)
There's nothing new under the sun.
Slow down for a moment and get your noggin round this:
- All you ever *actually* get is Now
- Every Now moment is peace, overlaid with mental commentary
- See through the commentary - which is just a meaningless [recording](https://www.gilespcroft.com/recordings/)
- Experience the peace, Here and Now
- Live a peaceful life, [whatever the circumstances](https://gilespcroft.link/carlson-happy?ref=gilespcroft.com).
That's the essence of the Innate Health understanding.
Try it right now: wherever you are, whatever is going on for you at the moment… just relax out of all the me, me, me stories the mind is creating, breathe and ***be***.
Present.
See how easy that is?
It's the opposite of ‘doing’ – there's literally no effort required. No rules, no dogma, no rituals, just relaxing out of the commentary, and back into life itself.
You carry that with you, ‘all the time’.
Ain't nothing taking that away from you, my friend – **peace be with you!*
There's a reason why my favourite Richard Carlson book is called [*You Can Be Happy, No Matter What*](https://gilespcroft.link/carlson-happy?ref=gilespcroft.com).
😉
Giles
p.s. BTW, what you just did then? That's the very definition of ‘[resilience](https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/#the-very-definition-of-resilience)’.
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Practice!Do we want to talk about this stuff, or live it? 😄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice/)
C'mon. Stop thinking about it. Relax. Live. 💖
### It's not boring
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-not-boring/
Last updated: 2026-07-01T15:56:29.000Z
I was having a coaching call with someone and, in that way that I love and am very grateful for, yet again *I* saw something for myself in a different light.
✨
In the past I’ve said that the whole process of being less in our heads and more in our lives—awakening, if you like—is pretty boring. I think I’ve said this to counteract the narrative that minds can easily get sucked into, when hearing me talk about my own experiences.
I had some pretty big insights. They happened over the course of [17 days](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/) (at the end of [46 years](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/#46-years-and-17-days), I should add)!
Everything changed completely.
You'll hear me say that on a podcast or something (Giles is a good story-teller) and the mind replies,
> 📦🗣️: *“Ah, that's all well and good for him! I’m not like that, though…”*
**… and nothing changes.**
Or you consume 12 billion books and video clips looking for ‘how’ to do that, getting increasingly hacked off when nothing happens.
So I’ve taken to describing it as boring, because in one way, it is.
All the excitement and expectation and emotion is very mind-based: highs and lows. It’s what being human is all about.
Whereas presence just kind of ‘is’. It’s so normal that most often, we [fail to notice it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-it-seems-worse-than-it-is/).
> 📦🗣️: *“Boring!”* (Says a mind)
And then for a mind, it’s a mere hop, skip and a jump (and oh how it *loves* to hop, skip and jump!!) to then conclude:
> 📦🗣️: *“Well, if I start going down this path, the end result will just be boredom. I’ll be numb. Where’s the fun in that?”*
**… and nothing changes.**
But the end result is not boring at all.
When I was on the call with the client, I caught myself about to say that it *was* boring, when I had a fresh new thought (just a little, ‘boring’ one 😉).
I realised that these days, the emotional highs and lows in my life are ***more*** keenly felt and life seems so much bigger and fun. A proper adventure!
Why?
🛟
****Because I know I’m safe.**
I know that feeling ***is*** thought - they’re one and the same thing; two sides of the same coin.
And I know that thought comes and goes and is endlessly inventive and everything I experience shifts and changes constantly (because it’s all made of thought; it’s all going on in that Thought System 📦) and *it’s all ok*.
Every thought welcome. Every feeling welcome. It’s essentially harmless.
[](https://gilespcroft.link/carlson-happy?ref=gilespcroft.com)
An appreciation of which allows you to feel the rollercoaster of human emotion—‘good’ and ‘bad’—as strongly as you like… hands in the air, screamin’ like you just don’t care!
🎢 🙌🏻
Giles
p.s. the mind likes to predict what that ‘awakening’ process will be like, and what you’ll have to do, and how you’ll feel, but since it’s not involved (in fact, that’s kinda the point), you can never know!
But if you *don’t* feel safe from your own psychological experience right now, then I’m here to help. Because things really do look completely different when you realise, for yourself, that you’re ok. *Wherever* you’re at right now, and however much your mind protests that somehow it’s different for you (it isn’t).
When you're ready for that change:
[Get In Touch](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
### Related
[An invitation to apathy?Lessons from Zen, on being and doing 🧘🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/an-invitation-to-apathy/)
More on this topic, for the curious.
### Start your week with courage
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/start-your-week-with-courage/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T19:08:30.000Z
How would you feel if I told you I wanted you to start your week with real courage?
Sounds a bit scary, doesn’t it?
But did you know the etymology of the word ‘courage’ comes from Latin *‘cor’* and Proto-Indo-European *‘kerd’*, both of which mean ‘heart’?
❤️
Like the one in this diagram, for instance:
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)
You can read a series of posts looking at how these two insights landed for me, [linked here](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)
That there is a hand drawn picture from me to you, that describes the *entire* human experience.
There’s nothing outside of that - that’s it! It’s everything you need to know, and anything else we might say about the human experience is just needlessly complicating things.
(And boy, we’ve got *very* good at that, haven’t we?!)
Put simply:
💡
In every moment that unfolds, we get a felt awareness of life.
→ And we’re either **in* it / being carried by it.
→ Or we’re being distracted from it, by the activity of the mind.
**And the more we notice the latter** (= thought realisation)**, the more we experience the former** (= innate health).
Which is what these Daily Reminders are all about. And what I heartily recommend doing.
You could say I’m… (wait for it)… ‘en-couraging’ you.
😃
Giles
p.s. See? You take cour-age with you, wherever you go!
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[“But if I ignore my thinking…”Let’s call mind out on one of its most nonsensical arguments, shall we? 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/but-if-i-ignore-my-thinking/)
Just in case your mind is protesting right now.
### “I forgot to worry!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-forgot-to-worry/
Last updated: 2026-06-21T06:00:46.000Z
We were half way through a coaching conversation, when my client suddenly had one of those *Ooh-I’ve-just-realised-something* moments.
I love these. They happen in 1:1 sessions and when I’m running groups.
Insight strikes from out of the blue, and something just *has* to come out. Proceedings usually get interrupted. As they did now:
> *“Hang on, hang, on, I’ve just realised something. It’s the middle of the month, and I forgot to worry about money! Oh my word!”*
The relief was palpable, because this was the very problem they’d come to me with, a few weeks previously.
You see, their business income was somewhat cyclical—reliable, but up and down as the weeks went by—and this meant that come the middle of the month, they started to worry.
They didn’t *want* to worry. They’d tried not to, but they couldn’t help it. They knew it was silly (the money always came in, regular as clockwork) but it was really starting to bug them.
So they reached out for help.
So, **the problem** was very clearly mid-month money worries, therefore we spent a couple of sessions very much *not* talking about mid-month money worries.
😂
No, we talked about the nature of this thing we call ‘worry’:
- What it is
- How it works
- What it’s for.
And as a result, [it went away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/). Just like that. As it so often does, with Innate Health coaching.
## What *didn't* happen
Note that my client didn’t say, *“I’m worrying but I’m ignoring it.”*
Nor did they say that they had managed to *“put the worry into perspective.”*
We didn’t have to delve around, identifying reasons or root causes of the worry. And they weren’t given any tools or techniques to use, in the face of worry.
Nope. It was more straightforward than any of that.
The worry simply didn’t happen.
There’d been a system reset, and it no longer made sense.
They literally forgot to worry.
We both just sat there, grinning at each other for a while.
(I love helping people like this!)
💟
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Related
[It’s just going to go awayThis is IT. The key to the change you want to see 🔑The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/)
This is the way.
### How to like yourself more
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-like-yourself-more/
Last updated: 2026-06-19T06:00:10.000Z
Last time, I shared a short piece about [feeling unloved](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-feel-unloved/), and it reminded me of a video I made, all about how to love yourself more.
It stemmed from an event I ran, where someone got in touch to ask me if I could help them out with a lifelong habit of disliking themselves.
Anyone who's spent any time watching these videos of mine will know that the answer doesn't lie in trying to change that habit, or in reframing things, but rather in seeing what's going on here; in getting to grips with what it is we're actually up against.
Then the problem has a tendency to just dissolve.
Our enquiry all starts with my comeback:
> *“Well, who's disliking whom, here?”*
🤔
This is a fun 4 minutes video clip, I hope you enjoy it and it helps you get some perspective on the topic of ‘self-compassion’.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Created, not discoveredSeeing what’s \*not\* there when you’re doing your best work… that’s your ticket out 🫥The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/created-not-discovered/)
One bit of 💭 chatting away to another bit of 💭
### Do you feel unloved?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-feel-unloved/
Last updated: 2026-06-17T06:00:45.000Z
Do you feel unloved?
If so, first, please have a virtual hug from me.
💝
(I hope these Daily Reminders of your true nature help!)
And then if you have 10 minutes, and want to get a fresh perspective on your situation, please go and read this: *The Anatomy of Feeling Unloved.*
[The Anatomy Of Feeling UnlovedBuddhist writer Harvey Aronson shone a bright light on a hidden truth: ’Most of us habitually think this way: “Jayne lost the book I lent her. She is irresponsible and awful.” It is a lot harder to acknowledge this feeling: “I fear I don’t matter in her eyes. I fear she doesn’t care for me. I feMedia LensEditor](https://www.medialens.org/2024/the-anatomy-of-feeling-unloved/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
It’s so eloquently written and hits the nail so squarely on the head, that I can’t resist sharing it with you.
In the article, the author, [David Edwards](https://www.medialens.org/who-are-we/?ref=gilespcroft.com), a journalist, practicing Buddhist and author of [*A Short Book About Ego*](https://www.medialens.org/bookshop/a-short-book-about-ego/?ref=gilespcroft.com), points you to two things I’m always pointing you to:
1. The notion of self is a helpful, practical illusion, but an illusion nonetheless
2. Put very simply, our experience of life is either to be at one with it/being carried along with it vs. being distracted by our thinking *about* it.
As he concludes:
> *The feeling of being unloved, then, is not a reflection of Truth, Reality, of ‘the cold light of day’. It is a symptom of the disease of overthinking.*
> *We have misunderstood the problem all along. Others may or may not have loved us, may or may not have let us down. At the deepest level, the reason we feel unloved is that an excess of thinking has blocked our *own* source of love and bliss. Our heads have let our hearts down.*
I send you this article, not to tell you you're wrong and you shouldn't feel lonely or unloved, but to gently point you in the direction of where/how to find love.
It's so much easier than you *think!*
💟
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
These are difficult concepts to ‘get your head round’. What I do with my 1:1 clients is to help them step away from intellectualising this stuff (which isn’t all that helpful) and actually **embody* it and start **living it* (which is).
If you know it's time now to start taking steps in that direction, then have a look at this page to see if you'd like to do that with me as your co-pilot.
[Learn More About 1:1 Support ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### You're not going to unravel the mysteries of the Universe
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/youre-not-going-to-unravel-the-mysteries-of-the-universe/
Last updated: 2026-06-15T06:00:52.000Z
I'm still mining the rich seam of insights gained from the online [Listening World](https://thelisteningworld.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) Summit that I attended a few weeks ago.
I loved a story that Aaron Turner related, about one of the first times he met [Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com).
This was before he (Aaron) had been deeply impacted by the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) understanding and by his own admission, he was still trying to [figure it all out](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-trying-to-figure-it-out/).
At a meeting he attended, Syd had been talking for a while, and the Aaron Ego Construct 📦 had got stuck on what appeared to be a [paradox](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/) – something Syd had said that seemed to contradict itself. It didn't make sense to him.
Believing information, categorisation and correctness to be the way forward, in a break he approached Syd and asked him to explain what he'd said more clearly, but received short shrift and a lighthearted reply,
> *“Oh Aaron – you're thinking too much!”*
This was not the helpful response he was expecting and, in his own words, he found himself to be quite annoyed, thinking that this bloke who everyone's going on about being so enlightened has just completely dodged my question – what a fraud!!
😡
It was only many years later that Aaron realised what Syd meant by that response, and it's something I have seen quite a lot when people first come to the understanding (and I include myself in that cohort), with a mind full of questions.
I can tell when someone's in ‘trying to get it’ mode, because they'll get all tangled up in the details of my [left brain/right brain metaphor](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-universal-sense/#:~:text=left/right%2Dhemisphere%2Dways%2Dof%2Dbeing%20diagram) diagram, taking it literally and trying to *use* it somehow; or they'll ask detailed questions about exactly *how* to let go of their thinking and be less bothered by it.
It's fine, it's normal, it's what minds do, but the ‘answers’ to these questions are only helpful to the degree that they ultimately lead you to [thinking less, and living more](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-it-off-your-mind/).
And when we're all shook up and the mind's super-busy like this, then that's very unlikely to happen. Give an especially active ego an answer to its question—even a technically ‘correct’ one—and you're pretty much guaranteed it will then proceed to argue the toss with you!
😂
As Aaron related, this is probably what Syd meant when he told him *“you're thinking too much”* – his answers weren't going to be found in analysing stuff intellectually, and he was only ever going to see change once he'd got out from *underneath* all that thinking, and returned to presence.
This doesn't always (ever?) deliver the answers that the mind seeks—because usually, those are [impossible expectations](https://www.gilespcroft.com/impossible-expectations/)—but it gives us a deeper, wider perspective on what's going on in general; in particular this inconvenient fact:
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind
Our experience of life is a mystery, full of paradox and wonder, and as humans, when push comes to shove, we know very little about anything, really.
The more you can relax into [not knowing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-knowing/), and appreciate that you're just *not* going to unravel the mysteries of the Universe, the easier your life will become and, paradoxically, the more of it you will understand.
***Think less. Live more.***
😘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Not answering your questionsFinding answers to questions requires a foundation of sound principles. 👷🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-answering-your-questions/)
More on this very topic 💝
### What's underneath the stories?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/whats-underneath-the-stories/
Last updated: 2026-06-14T06:00:40.000Z
My friend, colleague and fellow Welsh citizen [Jamie Phillips](https://www.alwayspotential.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) just gave a TED talk, all about the stories that innocently run our lives… until we notice that it's *all* one big story.
It's worth a watch, and starts off with one of my all time favourite ‘inside-out’ metaphors:
Good work, Jamie!
🙌🏻
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Your reality is a perception of the mindA short video with three helpful metaphors for how we experience the world 🎬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/)
More useful metaphors to help you awaken to the dream
### Listening for information
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/listening-for-information/
Last updated: 2026-06-12T06:00:04.000Z
I spend a lot of time—here, with groups, helping [individuals](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)—talking about a different kind of listening; a [way of listening](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-are-you-listening/) that gets us out of our stories and opens us up to wisdom, opportunity and fresh new ideas & solutions.
A few weeks ago I attended a conference, all about listening, and the speakers there were united in their standpoint: **listen *beyond* the words** was the message, reinforcing this notion that [listening is a creative process](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening/).
So we had Aaron Turner, saying:
> *“If you don't listen, you don't hear anything other than your own thoughts!”*
And Jack Pransky describing listening as *“going blank”*.
Fenella Blakaj, speaking about how we interact with kids, said that *“If we listen quietly ourselves, we can hear a child's wisdom.”*
And Stef Cybichowski told an incredibly moving story about how when he properly *listened* to his endlessly-complaining father, with literally nothing on his mind, he connected to him in a way that he'd never done before – a moment that changed their relationship for ever.
[Creative listening](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening/)—or listening for insight—is powerful stuff, and it's as relevant [in the boardroom](https://www.gilespcroft.com/logical-and-magical/#:~:text=%E2%80%9CI%27m%20not%20really%20listening!%E2%80%9D%20%F0%9F%98%B2) as it is [in the bedroom](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-having-a-relationship-in-your-head/).
So, while I'm certainly not a master practitioner or anything (ask my wife/daughter), this notion of listening ‘beyond the words’ is there in the background with many of the interactions I have… if only because I've seen for myself [how effective it is](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/#listening-as-a-catalyst).
But then I started my [new job](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-not-quite-daily-daily-reminders/). Where I ~~didn't~~ don't know anything, and I'm absorbing new information and facts to remember like water on a sponge that's been left out in the sun.
It's funny, at first I freaked out a little bit. The Giles Ego Construct 📦 was all like,
> 📦🗣️ *“Oh my god! You can't listen for insight any more, you need to listen *properly*! No more of this fancy-schmancy coachy-stuff, you're in the real world now, boy!”*
For a moment there, it had me convinced that I'd have to learn (re-learn) a different way of listening, in order to learn the ropes.
And then, during one conversation, as I started to fret, I spotted what was happening.
I had *stopped* listening. My attention was on my own thinking, once again.
🤦🏻♂️
It helped me to realise that whether you're in a conversation that's [ripe with conflict](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-arguments-start/), or you're taking on board new information from another person, or you're watching a training video, the principles remain the same:
👂🏻
You're either listening, or being **distracted* from listening, by the mind.
In my case, it was only when I spotted thoughts like,
- *I don't know what that means!*
- *How would I go about doing this?*
- *I think they're assuming I know more than I do*
- *Oh Jesus I can't ever imagine any of this making any sense to me – all is lost!*
…that I realised (again) I'd become distracted and the answer was to be present to the situation and take wisdom's guidance.
Which, a lot of the time, consists of me asking questions!
One of my favourite Innate Health teachers, [Amy Johnson](https://gilespcroft.link/tjust-a-thought-book?ref=gilespcroft.com), always used to talk about *“showing up dumb”* to her sessions (because the opposite would be to come attached to [expectations](https://www.gilespcroft.com/expectations-fireworks/)), and I'm pleased to report that in my new job, I can confirm: **I'm a natural!**
**😂**
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Listening - The Daily RemindersAn appreciation for the alchemy that occurs when truly present to what’s being said.The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/listening/)
All posts on the site tagged with **‘*[**Listening*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/listening/)**’*
### Patterns of response
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/patterns-of-response/
Last updated: 2026-06-10T06:00:55.000Z
Here's something that makes me chuckle, even now – a keyboard shortcut I set up, ages ago.
Did you know, you can create them for phrases you use regularly? Like email addresses you're always typing, your physical address, or even long strings of words you get sick of typing out over and over again?
For instance, if I type ‘dddr’ it automatically converts that to ‘Daily Reminders’ with the capital letters and everything - it's a huge time saver!
⌨️
If you want to try it for yourself, here are the breadcrumbs to follow:
→ On ****iOS** it’s **Settings > General > Keyboard > Text replacement*.
→ On my ****Android** phone it's **Settings > General management > Samsung Keyboard Settings > Text shortcuts.*
It’s a doddle to set up and you can use them to correct your regular typos, create entire paragraphs of text from just a couple of keystrokes… anything you like really.
It’s like magic!
⌨️🧙♂️✨
And it may not surprise you to learn that, given my all-encompassing obsession with their music, and the fact I’m a bit of a lazy bastard, I’ve got a keyboard shortcut set up, whereby when I type “DM” it expands to say “Depeche Mode.”
🌹🖤😎🤟🏻
Which is fine, when I’m talking about the band (which happens a lot, especially on [Twitter](https://x.com/gilespcroft/?ref=gilespcroft.com)), but potentially disastrous when I’m having serious business conversations online and asking people to *“Send me a DM”* (i.e. Direct Message) on whatever social media platform we share. I mean, imagine!!!
😬🙊
It made me think about how often we respond to situations as if there were a keyboard shortcut happening in the background. *“That's just how I am,”* we say, e.g.:
- Someone says this to me ⌨️🧙♂️✨ I’m triggered and always respond like this
- That same situation arises ⌨️🧙♂️✨ This is how I always feel and behave
- This thought pops into my head ⌨️🧙♂️✨ I always end up doing that thing
The fact that we *have* these patterns of response isn’t a problem (my word though, have we made it into one?!), it’s just the conditioned mind, doing what it does; churning the same old data and spitting out the same old results.
What’s really helpful, is to see that this is all that's going on and that it's just one teeny tiny part of the human experience.
Things can (and do) change, whatever the pattern, and however ingrained it is. Because underneath all that conditioning—all those automated mind-responses, running in the background—is something that remains *un-*programmed. Something that's un-programm*able.*
It's who-you-really-are, it's fresh and new in each moment that arises, and it's the *source* of change.
And that really *is* [like magic](https://www.gilespcroft.com/logical-and-magical/)!
⌨️🧙♂️✨
Unlike my “DM” keyboard shortcut, that I have to remain ever-vigilant about accidentally triggering, when communicating with people.
(Of course that one time I *don’t* notice, we’ll discover that whoever I'm inviting to send me a “DM” is a massive fan too, and it will be the start of something beautiful 🌹🖤😂)
💟
Giles
p.s. Helping people to change these patterns is what I do. So if you’re fed up of yours and they’re making your life a misery, then for pity sake, reach out for help - you don’t have to suffer in silence 💝
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Alternatively, you could just send me a Depeche Mode 😉
### A universal sense
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-universal-sense/
Last updated: 2026-08-20T08:13:18.000Z
I've just finished my first week in a new job – working as a Dads Advisor for Wales’ flagship early years programme, [Flying Start](https://www.monmouthshire.gov.uk/flying-start/?ref=gilespcroft.com).
What a whirlwind!
It’s been quite a shock to the system, meeting so many new people. You see, for the last 7+ years I've been working for/by myself, and ever since the pandemic most of that work moved online, which means I've largely been sat at a desk, in front of a screen (or on my own somewhere, in front of a camera).
So I reckon I've met more actual real life human beings—colleagues, parents, kids—in the last week, than I did in that entire time!
And there's one thing I've noticed that's been universal; one human attribute that, until now, I hadn't really noticed as being so fundamental:
😄
****A sense of humour**
*Everybody* has a sense of humour! No matter your age, your circumstances, your background or your outlook, it's one of the basic building blocks of the *‘humanOS’* operating system.
Now, the age, circumstance, background & outlook ensures that the way that sense of humour expresses itself is different for everybody, but the *capacity* for humour itself—for smiling, for laughter, for joy—that's part of the fabric of being human.
So much so, that today I've updated my left/right-brain-ways-of-being diagram to include a “sense of humour” – it should have been there, right from the start, and I can't believe I missed it!
A veritable **smörgåsbord* of metaphors for the human condition – now with “sense of humour” too!
And you don't have to look very far in your own experience (and that of others) to see that there's only really one thing that ever gets in the way of *experiencing* that built-in sense of humour of yours:
⛈️
****Being attached to your thinking**
🤔
It's so consistent, you could think of it as a super-reliable indicator for how you're doing:
- Carefree, connected, present → sense of humour 😄
- Over-thinking, separate, time-bound → sense of humour failure 😣
---
Now, this being a publication all about the [inside-out nature of life](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/), there's an invitation for you: to consider that things might not be as they seem.
For although it *looks* like your sense of humour is a *result* of your current circumstances (i.e. things going well → I have a sense of humour), what if that's just a trick of the mind?
What if it's the other way round? What if it's how lightly (or not) we're holding our thinking that determines the quality of the experience we're currently having? To take those two ways-of-being further:
- Connected & present → sense of humour → circumstances present no problems 🤷🏻♂️
- Over-thinking & stuck in stories → sense of humour obscured → exact same circumstances destroy us 😩
Worth pondering!
---
Of course, people like [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/) have been pointing out this simple, almost too-obvious state of affairs to us for years.
In his best-selling, evergreen book, [*Don't Sweat the Small Stuff*](https://gilespcroft.link/dontsweat/?ref=gilespcroft.com), there's a chapter called *Lighten Up*, where he says:
> *“People are frustrated and uptight about virtually everything … you name it, we lose perspective over it!”*
The cause?
> *“The root of being uptight is our unwillingness to accept life as being different, in any way, from our expectations … We spend our lives wanting things, people and events to be just as we want them to be – and when they're not, we fight and we suffer.”*
It's when we get attached to ego's needs—to the mind's stories we're innocently living inside—that it looks like our sense of humour is no more… and life appears hard, and serious.
But it's not. It's just our thinking, temporarily obscuring our [True Nature](https://gilespcroft.com/the-journey/?ref=gilespcroft.com#04-true-nature).
Which means the solution Richard has for us is almost too-obvious as well:
> *“When you let go of your expectations—when you accept life as it is—you're free. To hold on is to be serious and uptight. To let go is to lighten up.”*
It's that simple.
Which, if you're in touch with your sense of humour this morning, you'll see is really quite funny!
😆
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Two things to worry aboutWhen two becomes one, becomes none… as related by Syd Banks 😆The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-things-to-worry-about/)
A joke from an enlightened man
### Being at cross-purposes
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-at-cross-purposes/
Last updated: 2026-06-08T11:37:56.000Z
It’s a funny saying, isn’t it - ‘being at cross-purposes’?
**Being:** Our default. What is. Life, in its purest form. Without label.
**Purpose:** A mind-creation. Post-hoc application of meaning. From the Latin *pro-* (beginning) and the Greek *\-pauein* (to put an end to) … all very time-based.
AAAANYWAY…
For me this phrase points to one of my favourite subjects: [separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/).
As in, we can never see something the way someone else does, because they are *literally* experiencing a different reality from us. It’s not a case of there being an objective reality that we all have a different view on.
They’re experiencing [their own inner world](https://www.gilespcroft.com/perspectives/), made up of their lifetime’s conditioning.
(I wonder if *that* has any implications for relationships?!?! 😬)
## **An example**
When I used to walk my daughter to school, there's one slightly dodgy corner we had to cross, near where we live. It’s often busy. The road is super-steep, down to the junction (I’ve been driving it for years, and still misjudge the gradient at times). Bushes obscure the view.
This day, there are three cars coming down as we scoot across, and the first is coming in hot.
My daughter 👧🏻: *“Whoa, did you see that?”*
Me 👤: *“Yeah, moving pretty fast.”*
👧🏻: *“They were! I think we startled them.”*
👤:\[Thinking… Odd!\] *“Umm, maybe. They didn't really seem to notice us, to be honest. That’s half the problem.”*
👧🏻: *“Yeah, they did - they flew away, as soon as we came near them!”*
👤:\[WTF?!!\] *“Hang on, what are you talking about?!”*
👧🏻: *“The blackbirds in the bush. Why, what are you talking about?”*
👤: *“Oh, the traffic!”*
One situation. Two realities.
(Three, if you count the car driver. Five if you count the blackbirds.)
---
But seriously.
How often do we bash on with a conversation—‘at cross-purposes’—without finding out what the other person is *actually* talking about?
Or start one, assuming the other person is on the same page as us?
Seeing the nature of how we experience the world more deeply… and then more deeply still, has remarkable effects on improving the *quality* of that experience.
Especially our relationships with others, be that at work, or at home.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Are you having a relationship in your head?An innocent, and quietly destructive practice we’re all guilty of, me included 🙊The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-having-a-relationship-in-your-head/)
Well? Are you?
### I took a day off and it was really hard
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-took-a-day-off-and-it-was-really-hard/
Last updated: 2026-06-05T06:00:17.000Z
The other day, wife and child went off camping together, leaving me home alone for a few days.
Doesn’t happen very often and it was a Bank Holiday weekend, so the first day, I decided to take a day off.
- No emails.
- No content creation.
- No business social media.
- No planning.
A proper unplug.
So I committed to sitting on my arse, watching TV, and playing video games. Sure, I did a short ride on the indoor trainer, but I enjoy that and technically I was still sitting on my arse, watching TV, so, yeah.
Now, dear reader, you should know that I do *all* of these things from time to time when I’m *not* taking a day off, too.
But boy, did it feel different!
💡
What does that tell you about how we experience the world? The exact same activity, but with a different mental (i.e. made up) rule → utterly different experience!
And you know what, I hadn’t really noticed how different it feels, because I haven’t committed to taking a day off for a very long time.
So there I was, sitting on my arse, happily watching TV and all of a sudden I notice the guilt.
The Giles Ego Construct pops up and starts telling me:
> 📦🗣️: *That’s enough R&R now. Go do something constructive.*
Oh. No, actually, it’s ok. I’m taking a day off, remember? I don’t have to do anything.
\[I relax. Smile. Stick another episode on.\]
5 minutes later it’s back.
> 📦🗣️: *What the f\*\*\* do you think you’re doing?*
Oh. No, it's ok. \[Relax again.\]
> 📦🗣️: *That’s enough now*
Oh. \[Relax.\]
> 📦🗣️: *This is wrong*
Oh. \[Relax.\]
And on and on and on.
---
There's really only one way to deal with this:
👁️
Observe it… Let it go… Observe it… Let it go…
Like interval training for awareness!
In truth, most of the day was like this. It didn’t detract too much, because it was so revealing.
And to be fair I still got to sit on my arse all day, watching TV and playing video games.
But today is not a day off, so I’m writing about it and letting you know that the next time you try it, it might not work out like you want (i.e. blissfully free of the mental noise) but you should probably do it anyway.
Just to see.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Practice!Do we want to talk about this stuff, or live it? 😄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice/)
Yup. You wanna see change? You're gonna have to practice!
### Does being in flow make you cranky?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/does-being-in-flow-make-you-cranky/
Last updated: 2026-06-03T06:00:09.000Z
Sounds like an odd question, doesn’t it?
Because being in flow (i.e. in the zone/pure presence/in the Now) is supposed to be where it’s at, isn’t it? That’s what I’m always saying!
But it’s been making my 10yo daughter cranky.
You see, I bought her a new audiobook, to listen to on her Yoto player and she’s been devouring it. Listening to it at every available opportunity.
When she’s listening, she’s very much ‘in flow’, one of the defining characteristics of which is, *she's not there*.
What does that mean? It means in that moment, there’s no need for her human operating system to go [creating a sense of self](https://www.gilespcroft.com/created-not-discovered/).
Instead, she’s just in the story. More accurately, she *is* the story! Her mind is bringing to life the words she’s hearing and she’s inhabiting all of *those* fictional characters (instead of her own fictional character, lol).
And ‘no self’ feels good.
But boy, is it making her cranky.
Every time we try and engage with her for, oh you know, the usual: eating food, getting dressed for school, that sort of thing, we get our heads bitten off.
In truth, I can be the same from time to time, and I bet you can too.
You’re totally into something creative—no self!—and then someone interrupts you with a demand.
In that moment, it really looks like you’ll never get that nice feeling of flow back, and there’s a real risk of crankiness… but you can relax.
Because the nice feeling doesn’t come from what you’re doing, or from audiobooks. It comes from ‘no self’, and that’s something (nothing?) that never goes away (was never there in the first place?)
Oh god, I’m tying my self in knots here.
The things we can do with thought!
> *“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”*
> \~ John Milton
Indeed.
Have a lovely day.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Creativity is endlessIt’s just not something that can, or will, ever dry up 🌊The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creativity-is-endless/)
Flow… creativity… presence… there's no end to any of them 🤷🏻♂️
### Listening notes
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/listening-notes/
Last updated: 2026-06-01T06:00:36.000Z
Last weekend’s [Listening World Summit](https://thelisteningworld.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) that I attended online had some lovely little observations about the act of listening: what it is, what it’s not, how to do it, what happens when we do.
### Listening: a doing, or a being?
Michael Neill, author of the [*Inside-Out Revolution*](https://amzn.to/4nXqthj?ref=gilespcroft.com), got things kicked off, when he pointed out that one of the reasons we can ‘struggle’ with listening, is because we see it as a skill, when really it’s just something that happens naturally.
👂🏻
Every time we ‘try’ to figure out what’s getting in the way of us communicating—to ‘improve’ our listening—**that’s the very thing that’s getting in the way* of a natural process!
### How to spot listening
[Aaron Turner](https://onethought.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) expanded on this, later in the day, when he gave us a checklist of sorts, to help identify when listening is happening. We can see that when we're with another person:
- Listening is ‘being in neutral’ – you’re not attached to your own imaginings about what’s being said 🤔
- Listening is really easy! You don’t have to actually *do* anything 🥳
- Listening feels good – the creeping in of unease or urgency is a sign that ego’s returned, with its wants and needs, trying to get your attention and distract you from listening (“Like jumpy puppies”!) 🐶
- Listening gives you a genuine sense of what the other person is really trying to *convey*, beyond the mere words that they’re saying.
### Listening to change the world
This last one really caught my attention. Michael (again) pointed out that listening is the only sure-fire way to cure all the world's ills, because:
> *“It's the one thing that nobody minds.”*
Reflect on that for a moment: can you think of anyone, anywhere who would *reject* being listened to? As Michael said,
- It's universally accepted
- Everybody likes it
- It crosses all cultures
- It's not a problem anywhere, so it can help everywhere!
Let's all commit to relaxing back away from the mind's perceived needs this week, and *being* better listeners.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
Premium 🔖 content
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening)
For ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers** there's a deeper look at the art of listening, with extra written and audio content, in the form of an article entitled **Creative Listening.*
[Read & Listen to the Article Now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening)
### Created, not discovered
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/created-not-discovered/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T06:28:30.000Z
I was at an Innate Health conference last weekend, and several phrases really made me sit up.
One was from [Martin Jotov](https://thelisteningworld.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com), who said:
> *“Thinking is *creating* the ego self image, not *discovering* it”*
…and I could not love that more. It's such a powerful thing to see.
Because we've all had the same experience, throughout our lives, of:
- sometimes being aware of our notion of ‘ourselves’ (usually in relation to how a situation or problem relates to us), and
- sometimes it *not* being there (because we're fully present to life; immersed in some activity or other)
And for years, the thing that went *entirely* unquestioned for me, was the nature of that ‘self’ that was sometimes there, sometimes not.
I just never looked at this as a notion (I mean, why would you)?!
And then, when I'd been around the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com) for a while, I kept hearing people talk about ‘ego’ and ‘self’ and came across quotes, like this one from [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com):
[](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
…and it had me scratching my head a bit.
But then, whenever I *did* turn my attention to this notion, the “ego self image” mentioned by Martin definitely seemed like it was being *discovered* by my thinking. I mean, it was a thing, right?
It was there… somewhere? It had to be!
In those times where I was beavering away at a piece of writing, totally immersed, and not experiencing ‘self’ at all, my [headcanon](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-headcanon/) for it was that it was a long way away (maybe inside a shed or something, far off in the distance), not making mischief for me.
But definitely a thing. Definitely an *entity*.
Until I read some more books and listened to some more audios and observed my own experience and listened to people like Martin, grabbing me gently by the shoulders and inviting me to consider things another way:
> No, no. It's not an entity at all. It's made of thought. A set of stories. It's ***created***, not discovered! It's not required, much of the time – in fact, you know that you do your best work in its absence…
😲
And then I read the book [*No Self, No Problem*](https://amzn.to/3PTZSFb?ref=gilespcroft.com), by Chris Niebauer, which is a delightfully easy and accessible romp through the subject, looked at from a neuroscientific point of view, and he showed me this image:
I mean, there's a white triangle there, isn't there? You can't ***not** see that.
Here's how it he relates it to the notion of self:
> *“The same left-brain process that allows you to see the categorical boundaries of the circles and the lines and surmise the image of the triangle, has also looked within, used the same processes and surmised that there is an individual self.*
>
> *“Both the triangle and the inner self are strongly suggested by the surrounding information, but upon closer inspection, one can see that they are only suggested and have no real physical existence.”*
It's why I refer to it all the time as the **Reader Ego Construct* 📦 – because it's a product of itself.
🫥
The ego self image is ***created**, not discovered.
It's the ultimate imposter!
Which means you don't have to take it half as seriously as you do.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The bus driverThis is your bus. You’re in charge and you’re doing all the driving. Aren’t you? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/)
I mean if it's not actually a thing, how could it **possibly* be driving the damned bus?? 🤔
### Testing whether it's true
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/testing-whether-its-true/
Last updated: 2026-06-11T10:03:55.000Z
I spent last weekend with my sister, at an online Innate Health conference – the [Listening World Summit](https://thelisteningworld.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Three days of talks, all pointing to the immense power of [listening](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-are-you-listening/).
(I would say *“I'm always amazed that…”* so much discussion can be had around something so simple and singular as being present, but you're reading this against the backdrop of [400+ Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/) I have written, all saying exactly the same thing, so I won't – *I am no longer amazed!* 😆)
As well as an opportunity to slow right down, hang out with my beloved sibling and take stock of where I'm struggling *against* life unnecessarily, the conference itself also afforded a wealth of metaphors and sayings, some of which I'll explore with you over the coming days.
But first, a simple phrase that [Dorthe Fogtmann](https://myndalfogtmann.com/thisisme/?ref=gilespcroft.com) said on Day 3 of the conference, shook free a memory I've not shared with you before, and highlighted a loose end to the [17 Days of Insight Series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/) I recently wrote for you.
📑
You could consider this as being ****Part 6** of a four-part [series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/) (I know, I know), that detailed the insights I had when I first came across the Innate Health understanding, how those insights happened, and what all that means for you.
If you've not read the others, I heartily recommend putting some time aside to do so. You can read the other pieces on these links:
→ ****Part 1**: [****The lead-up**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/)
→ ****Part 2**: [****Thought realisation**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/)
→ ****Part 3**: [****Implications**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-implications/)
→ ****Part 4**: [****Innate Health**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/)
→ Bonus **Part 5**: [****Nowhere to get to**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/nowhere-to-get-to/)
All I heard Dorthe say was that after having first been introduced to the 3 Principles, and ‘getting her head round’ the [inside-out](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) understanding, she then saw profound changes occur, once she began *“testing whether it's true.”*
This in itself isn't new ground for the Daily Reminders, after all I'm always encouraging you all to [get your own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/), and even ‘[practice](https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice/)’ this stuff, but when I heard that phrase—*“testing whether it's true”*—I suddenly remembered what a pivotal day I'd had, in my ‘embodiment’ (for want of a better word) of the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com).
## A day's mingling = *“testing whether it's true”*
Back when I was first pointed towards the Innate Health understanding, my life and all its problems went from looking one way, to looking another way, over the course of 17 days – something I wrote about at length, over a series of posts ([linked here](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)).
On the last of those 17 days (the grand finale!) was a conference talk I gave, where, up on stage, in front of an expectant audience, I dropped all my preparation, all my plans for what I would say, all my expectations of what the talk should cover and—crucially—all ideas of ‘Giles’ and how I should *be*, and proceeded to deliver something I could not have conceived of, in advance.
It was something that came *through* me, from life, with precious little conscious intervention from the Giles Ego Construct 📦 ([Read about that, here](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/#back-to-the-conference-centre).)
Now, for a guy who ~~liked~~ needed to prepare to the nth degree, this was *such* a big deal that I described it as ‘death and rebirth’, because it felt like a totally new version of me materialised at the other side of it!
But it didn't end there.
When, this last weekend, I heard Dorthe say that phrase *“testing whether it's true”* I can remember having that exact same thought, as I emerged onto the main conference hall floor, from the room where I'd given my talk.
> *“Let's see if I can break this,”* I remember challenging myself.
You see, the ‘old’ version of me (the one from a mere hour previously!) really hated mingling on conference floors. I always felt out of place – never really comfortable with chit-chat or talking about my weird and wonderful career and ‘what I was up to’.
For that reason, my usual procedure was to come off stage, do my best to answer any questions that people wanted to ask me privately, and then skedaddle, either to the speakers’ room (if I had another talk to give, later), or back to the train station (if I didn't).
On this day though, I'd just had the most profound experience of pure presence (i.e. who-I-really-was, *before* all ideas of ‘self’), and was seeing the whole of life through a totally different lens.
*“Testing whether it's true”* therefore manifested as me throwing myself wholeheartedly into one conversation after another (conversations I would normally have sprinted away from, at speed), being genuinely curious about other people's careers and what was going on for them, and then observing what happened.
Repeatedly, because I wasn't giving thought any credence whatsoever, and instead was actually *listening*—[being, with that person](https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-to-one/)—I discovered that it didn't matter what I did or didn't ‘know’ about the particulars of their career situation (something that had been a source of deep insecurity for me, [for many years](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inner-vs-outer-feelings/)), I just needed to show up, be present and stay open to whatever made sense to say, when it was my turn to talk.
Wisdom did the rest!
Until I heard Dorthe talking about this the other day, I hadn't fully appreciated what an integral part this was, of all the changes that I saw, and how I took it all forward, from that point.
Back then, after I'd really *seen* something around Innate Health, up there on stage, I then spent a whole day, ‘[getting my own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/)’ for the inside-out nature of our experience, and found that indeed, I could find no exceptions to it.
There was no situation where I felt ‘stumped’; no conversation that felt awkward; no interaction where it wasn't as obvious as my own nose that any feelings being experienced were 100% a reflection of thought in the moment, rather than the ‘circumstances’ I was in.
That's when it went from an ‘intellectual understanding’ to more of a wide-eyed, *oh-my-god-this-is-actually-how-things-are* embodiment.
😵
Of course, it doesn't always *feel* like this – because I'm human I have [insecure interactions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/introversion-as-an-excuse/) with people all the time! And, just like you, I [can't not see an illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/), either.
No, by ‘embodiment’ I mean that having *had* that experience of *“testing whether it's true”*, the results are something I can't un-see or un-learn; another [feature of being human](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/) that seems built in. (It's going beyond mental concepts, to ‘spiritual knowing’, if we're going to use [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) language.)
## How about you?
So, what is it you've seen, around the Innate Health understanding? What ‘makes sense’ to you, intellectually?
And do you want that to change things for you, in a way that's beyond your wildest dreams (i.e. anything ego 📦 could conceive of)?
Well then, I can heartily recommend *“testing whether it's true”* and watching what happens.
💖
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Get your own evidenceUsing some basic IF/THEN logic to completely change our lives 🚀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/)
Exploring this, more.
[The journeyThe 4-step process we all go through, on the path to an easier life 🥰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/)
Not sure ***what** (if anything) you've seen around the understanding? Find out, here.
### The not quite daily Daily Reminders 📰
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-not-quite-daily-daily-reminders/
Last updated: 2026-07-10T09:49:04.000Z
I write a lot about change. It's going on all the time, for all of us, in ways that are hard for our little minds to comprehend.
So I share a lot of examples of the results that my clients see—to open up those same little minds to possibility—but of course change is going on for me all the time too. Sometimes in small ways, sometimes in much bigger ones.
Two years ago, almost to the day, I sat on my bed in my pyjamas, with my iPad on my lap, and started feverishly queuing up the first Daily Reminders. (I don't think I moved for the best part of the day – the [floodgates had opened](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creativity-is-endless/)!)
That was a big change, although I didn't know it at the time. But I was hugely excited that I was *allowing* myself to do this: properly *writing!* (I love writing 😍)
Then the creation of the website, six months ago—another big change—and with that one came the even more thrilling prospect of ‘writing for a living’.
Could that be where life was taking me? Was that my path? It certainly felt right, that's for sure.
As you'll have noticed, the ‘writing’ bit has worked out brilliantly.
The ‘for a living’ bit… erm, not so much.
😬
What I've discovered over this two years of experimentation, especially in an age of widespread economic contraction and AI uncertainty, is that daily-writing-plus-the-occasional-coaching-client *on its own* isn't a sustainable business model.
I'm a pragmatist and have had my ear to the ground for some time, for work that might supplement my practice, but honestly, I never found anything that was the right fit for me; something that felt like going *with* life (and everything it had taught me to that point), in a new direction.
Until now.
## The news
On Monday, I start work as a Flying Start ‘Dads Advisor’ for Monmouthshire County Council, here in Abergavenny.
[Flying Start](https://www.gov.wales/flying-start-childcare-guide-parents-and-carers?ref=gilespcroft.com) is the Welsh Government's early years programme, supporting families with kids under four in communities who need it the most. My role will be focused on fathers – facilitating groups, providing some 1:1 support and helping dads to show up, present and resourceful, for their kids (and their partners).
I wanted this job from the moment I saw it advertised, and feel truly honoured that they picked me for the role (it's a lovely team, doing great things)!
It also feels ‘right’, against the criteria above. Starting the Daily Reminders two years ago and tuning into the immense power of good old fashioned, plain ordinary ***presence***, to write about it on a daily basis has taught me loads, and I'm not sure I'd have been ready for the position until now.
(The Giles Ego Construct 📦 would love to make a big old story about it all—life's going to be quite different, from next week!—but I'm trying not to pay *too* much attention to that; just going with it, instead. This isn't my first rodeo, when it comes to career change.)
## The changes
The position is not quite full time, I'll [be a beginner](https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-a-beginner/) again, and as I get fully stuck into the new role and find my feet, I'm planning on sending Daily Reminders out to you four times a week: Monday, Wednesday, Friday & Sunday.
For Premium 🔖 subscribers, everything continues as before: we'll still meet up once a month, there'll still be additional writing & audio content dropping into your inboxes and [available on the website](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/premium/).
I shan't be running my 6 week RECONNECT programme this year, nor offering to work with organisations any more.
I shall be taking on fewer 1:1 clients and there's now a light touch application process, to ensure we're the right fit in advance – the details of which you can find here: . (I've found generally, that when people know they're ready, they know they're ready and we just need to set a date to start!)
## The future
There's something a bit poetic, a bit ‘full circle’ about a boy who was on his way to becoming a paediatric orthopaedic surgeon, before getting sidetracked for 25 years in an accidental quest to find happiness and contentment, learning all sorts about innate health and resilience along the way, and eventually returning to support his fellow humans as a Dads Advisor.
It's a funny old game. I don't know how any of this stuff works—why life presents us with the challenges and the opportunities that it does—but it strikes me, still, that to navigate those changes successfully, all we need is [three basic ingredients](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/): to show up, be present and stay open to it all.
That's true for you, I'm sure it'll be true for the dads I'll be working with, and it turns out it's true for me too.
With so much love.
💝
Giles
p.s. See you tomorrow!
### Emotions vs. Feelings
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/emotions-vs-feelings/
Last updated: 2026-05-28T06:00:59.000Z
Back to basics with today's Daily Reminder – a little video clip for you.
At an event I once ran, somebody with a curious mind (a mind that wanted to put things into categories, in order to settle itself), asked me:
> *“What is the difference between emotions and feelings?”*
It's not something I'd ever really considered until that moment, and in meandering my way to my own conclusions, I explored some of the basic principles behind how we experience *all* of life (which happens to include ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’).
In doing so, I jumped from one metaphor to another, so this one features some of the greatest hits:
- Outside-in vs. Inside-Out (the [teddy bear diagram](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/))
- The inseparable nature of (the Principle of) Thought and Feeling, using a 50p coin to demonstrate
- The left & right hemisphere ways-of-being
- Thought system content vs. Awareness of Thought system and how ‘where you're coming from’ makes all the difference.
Relax and enjoy this 3 minute exploration:
0:00
/3:08
1×
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Your reality is a perception of the mindA short video with three helpful metaphors for how we experience the world 🎬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/)
If you have a curious mind that wants to learn more, this one goes into a bit more depth
### Flying the coop
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/flying-the-coop/
Last updated: 2026-05-27T06:00:14.000Z
One for the parents today. Especially if your kids are of an age where they're becoming independent young adults and … maybe even leaving.
😧
It's a lovely piece that I stumbled upon via [Kottke.org](https://kottke.org/?ref=gilespcroft.com). It's a bit heartbreaking (that's parenthood!) and it's very sweary – even more than a red-blooded Daily Reminder.
It really looks at roles—theirs, yours—and the inevitable consequences of this most fundamental of transitions.
Get yourself a cuppa, and prepare to laugh and cry.
[How to deal with your kid leavingMy child is in high school and I’ve been in deep mourning for the last two years that they’ll (likely) be leaving me first for college, and then for...life!Mike Monteiro’s Good NewsMike Monteiro](https://buttondown.com/monteiro/archive/how-to-deal-with-your-kid-leaving/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Click on this card to read it.
My favourite bit:
> “We will always worry about our kids. All you have to do is look outside to see that things are not… great. But the path to making things better is to release these kids out into the world. Kids filled with confidence. Kids who have climbed and fallen from trees only to get up and climb them again. Kids who have gotten lost and found their way home. Kids who can navigate public transportation…”
For me, this perfectly encapsulates the parenting mantra that I picked up from Terry Rubenstein (co-creator of the [iHeart Programme](https://iheartprinciples.com/ihearts-framework/?ref=gilespcroft.com)), that I always try and be mindful of:
> “Don't prepare the road for the child.
> Prepare the child for the road.”
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[“Do you worry about your daughter’s future?”If we parent from first principles, we find there’s very little to worry about 💁🏻♂️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-worry-about-your-daughters-future/)
### “Now’s not the time, honey!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/nows-not-the-time-honey/
Last updated: 2026-05-26T06:00:34.000Z
There was a day when I'd been in a seriously low mood.
It looked like a ‘bad’ day – I had very little to show for it (although, in retrospect I'd done a ton of research and prep-type work).
But that didn't matter, because at the time, my life was just full of insurmountable problems.
It was evening, I hadn't written the next day's Daily Reminder, I was looking down the barrel of a 5am start the next day, and the thing I'd been fretting about all day did not have any solutions.
Added to that, I remembered I'd put washing on and had laundry to hang out on the airer!
😫
On my way there, miserable as sin, I stopped in front of my wife, herself beavering away on her laptop, to talk about it with her. Again!
> *“I just don't know what to do,”* I concluded, utterly lost.
She looked up, half smiled and replied,
> *“Oh, you're trying to solve that one now, are you?”*
Ha! It was enough to snap me out of it, for a moment. A dose of my own medicine – an obvious reminder that I was guilty of using the [wrong tool for the job](https://www.gilespcroft.com/right-tool-for-the-job/) (i.e. the processing mind, for something that needed a fresh new solution).
A bit lighter—having disengaged from analysis for a while—I busied myself with chores – unloading the dishwasher, getting stuck into the laundry, generally clattering about and doing stuff…
…and not even *noticing* that I'd ground to a halt and slipped back into pro-level worrying again until my wife, who had noticed that I had gone silent, shouted through from the other room,
> *“Now's not the time, honey!”*
😂🤣
All I can say is, I wish for you that special someone who'll call you out when you're taking your thinking too seriously.
Failing that, there's always the Daily Reminders.
😘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Right tool for the jobMaking decisions: when to use ‘Processing mode’ 🤖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/right-tool-for-the-job/)
As I say in this one: “Seeing when NOT to use Processing Mode is **way* more than half the battle!”
### 100% of pain, too.
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/100-of-pain-too/
Last updated: 2026-05-25T06:00:10.000Z
I finished last week's Daily Reminders with a couple of posts all about how we're experiencing a world of thought-perception, being projected outwards (i.e. inside-out), rather than some objective world-out-there, that we've got a window on (i.e. outside-in).
If you missed them, they're both pretty good ones to catch up on!
- [The thing vs. Your experience of the thing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-thing-vs-your-experience-of-the-thing/)
- [Normal distribution curves of experience](https://www.gilespcroft.com/normal-distribution-curves-of-experience/)
And they brought to mind an amazing little article I once read, in the British Medical Journal (BMJ). It's many years since I read the journal, so I'm not sure whether they still do this, but they used to have a lighthearted section near the back, called ‘Minerva’, that would detail odd little case histories – medical curiosities, if you like.
(I'm gonna be honest with you here guys – it's pretty much the *only* bit of the journal I ever read 😂)
I can't send you to the original, because it's behind the paywall (the citation is below), but the full text of it is freely circulating the internet, so I've included it in full.
Because it's not just emotions and assessments and situations like giving presentations that are created in thought-perception, it's pain, too!
Have a read of this:
British Medical Journal (BMJ) Minerva 1995;310:70
**A builder aged 29 came to the accident and emergency department having jumped down on to a 15 cm nail. As the smallest movement of the nail was painful he was sedated with fentanyl and midazolam. The nail was then pulled out from below.*
**When his boot was removed a miraculous cure appeared to have taken place. Despite entering proximal to the steel toecap the nail had penetrated between the toes:* ***the foot was entirely uninjured** *.*
(And I can tell you that fentanyl plus midazolam is about as hardcore as it gets.)
## What's the takeaway?
Well, this is a teeny, detail-lite case history where we don't really know all the facts (and of course nobody will ever know what the builder himself experienced – even his [own memories are likely to be false](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-fallibility-of-memory/) now, given all the hoo-haa)!
It's also likely that he could feel *something* (even though it went between his toes, it's still a big old nail!) and was very freaked out by what it *looked* like.
For me, it's (yet) another invitation to pause and consider that:
🔑
****Key Message**: 100% of our feelings (including pain!) come from the Principle of Thought.
Whatever that unfortunate (soon to be completely-zonked 🥴) builder *did* experience in that moment, 100% of it was created from *within.* His psychological system, just like yours and mine, was asking,
> 📦🗣️ *“What must be true for me to make sense of the data I'm receiving?”*
…and it served him up with the reality described in the case history. One that clearly lay somewhere down at the thin end of the [normal distribution curve](https://www.gilespcroft.com/normal-distribution-curves-of-experience/).
## What's *not* being suggested
Again, it's important here to [draw the distinction](https://www.gilespcroft.com/contaminated-thinking/#thought-and-thinking) between (the Principle of Thought)—or ‘Thought-perception’—and bog standard ‘thinking’.
Pain is made of Thought-perception – that version of ‘reality’ offered up to us by the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com). It's a matter of (somewhat confusing) semantics, but when I talk of ‘thinking’ I'm referring to the blibber-blabber DVD commentary track [that then *interprets*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/) that experience, judges it, adds meaning etc. (And let's be honest here, people – usually makes it worse.)
So it's not that pain isn't there and we just *think* it is… it's more that the *experience* of pain is actively constructed from Thought. Which is pretty malleable stuff.
I can tell you that the last time I was sat in the dentist's chair, I tried to not-think-about-pain and it didn't make a blind bit of difference!
Then again, it is at least *possible* to do a caesarean section delivery—knife through skin!— [with hypnosis alone](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0002937860905251?utm%5Fsource=chatgpt.com).
And there are enough anecdotal reports of war injuries going unnoticed, or people not realising they'd broken a bone during some heroic rescue or other, all at *one* end of the curve…
…and then this guy, with a nail (not) in his foot, at the other.
It's such an interesting, potentially helpful and relatively unexplored idea, and I was very glad to see, not so long ago, that my daughter's school was pointing in this direction, too!
🧐
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Time on the ballA really lovely metaphor, shared with me by a client ⚽️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/time-on-the-ball/)
A metamorphosis of pain, as told by a client.
### A deeper level of okayness
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-deeper-level-of-okayness/
Last updated: 2026-05-24T06:00:08.000Z
It's funny the many ways that our minds shield us from our True Nature. Who we really are—and just how powerful that is—is an [unknown unknown](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/) to the mind, so it creates concepts and stories instead, that it hides behind.
There's nothing malicious to this, it's just minds doing what minds do, but until these stories get brought out into the open and questioned, they will generate the framework on which all our decisions are made. They're [why we behave](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/) the way we do.
Which is what [brings people to me](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/).
🙂
A client recently was procrastinating on taking the next step with their business. Faced with the unknown, the Client Ego Construct 📦 was in *weighing-up-pros-and-cons* mode, and they were getting nowhere.
Eventually, on the call, they reasoned their way into a semi-comfortable conceptual place of probably being able to sort out any unforeseen problems that arose, if and when they did. That's what had got them this far, after all. They were actually pretty good at it.
(I had to agree.)
Because that's what Innate Health/Universal Mind/Wisdom is all about, isn't it? Being able to handle stuff? Responding, rather than reacting? Being able to manage whatever situation arises, without losing your head? Not being afraid of any experience? That's what [the quote at the bottom of the emails](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-response-to-a-situation-is-the-situation/#1-sydney-banks) says, yeah?
Hmmm.
🤔
The Client Ego Construct 📦 didn't like what it heard next… initially, at least.
I asked, with genuine curiosity (because I wanted to know the answer):
> *“What if you *can't* handle stuff? What if it's a shitshow and problems are beyond your ability to ‘sort out’? What would happen then?”*
There was a silence.
A long silence.
The kind of silence where a keen eye can perceive layers of story falling away, in front of it… kerthunk… kerthunk.
The kind of silence where a keen ear can almost hear the whoosh of fresh new thought—of insight—rushing into the system, like an unstoppable wave.
A wave that (eventually) brought a little smile.
> *“Oh. I'd still be ok, wouldn't I? I hadn't realised that, until now.”*
## A deeper level of okayness
There's something about our True Nature that literally transcends time, space and matter. Something about who-we-really-are that cares not one iota about things as trivial as ‘circumstances’ in the world of form.
Who-we-really-are is there *before* all that stuff.
When we talk of Innate Health, we're pointing to something much more powerful than being resourceful enough to ‘sort things out’; something much, *much* deeper than the ability to fix circumstances in a way that ego *doesn't* like, into a form that ego *does* like.
That stuff's small fry to your essential Being.
Because who-you-really-are is [pure consciousness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGrpKnU9RE0&ref=gilespcroft.com) itself: the witnessing of it all.
It's a deeper level of okayness that you simply cannot imagine, and yet you take it with you, wherever you go.
✨
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to get unstuck with 1:1 support and reconnect to who-you-really-are?
I help you get the change you're after, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Related
Accidental all-time favourite content that came through the Giles Ego Construct 📦
### Presence and creativity
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/presence-and-creativity/
Last updated: 2026-05-23T06:00:09.000Z
I've spoken before about my love for music. It's not for everyone (we all lie somewhere on a [normal distribution curve](https://www.gilespcroft.com/normal-distribution-curves-of-experience/) for it, eh?) but for this little Thought System 📦 here, it's one of life's essentials. I can't recall the last time I didn't have some song or other in my head.
I can still remember the moment that a friend of mine (who's a Daily Reminders subscriber!) showed up one evening at university, put on a CD and said,
> *“Guys, you've got to listen to this.”*
It was Brian Transeau/[BT](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BT%5F%28musician%29?ref=gilespcroft.com)'s debut, [*Ima*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ima%5F%28BT%5Falbum%29?ref=gilespcroft.com), a groundbreaking progressive trance album that set me off in a very particular direction of electronic musical love, that lasts to this very day.
(I still listen to *Ima—*which means ‘Now’, or 今 in Japanese—every time I do hard intervals on the indoor trainer 🚴🏻♂️ and, coming full circle with my musical influences, BT teamed up with one of my childhood heroes [Howard Jones](https://x.com/gilespcroft/status/1755504027658232077?s=20&ref=gilespcroft.com) in 2019 to co-produce his strongest album in decades, [*Transform*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transform%5F%28Howard%5FJones%5Falbum%29?ref=gilespcroft.com).)
I've stuck with BT throughout the years—[hits](https://www.discogs.com/master/43927-BT-This-Binary-Universe?ref=gilespcroft.com) and [misses](https://www.discogs.com/master/2387086-BT-Metaversal?ref=gilespcroft.com) alike—and apart from his music, I follow him [on social media](https://www.facebook.com/bt) too, 'cos he's just an all round good guy and an inspiring, positive force in this world!
Although much of his content is music tech-geekery that goes way over my head, it's interspersed with creative tips – behind the scenes snippets of how he manages to consistently produce great music, when times are tough, or he's not feeling inspired.
He posted this, just the other day, which made me smile, as it's about as 3Ps as you can get, without *actually* talking about mind, consciousness and thought
😂
[](https://www.facebook.com/reel/1498415441940490/?%5F%5Fcft%5F%5F[0]=AZYMzbC4ZJ82kf-VJJasypu-s21SkgYPMMkJoUOkCoqoG7V8%5FWMUdlpOlFqc82r3X4ylJP1xnPR%5FPF3mIu8gO0aipFYlYYtEt-5ooLMSfXQmB6wmNNNE3yAigve-lwRkhbn-XrNhM96RoB1SBHkCZBUR6Qw6-5463LA5P6qE4SSAuv9ZtfBKz65MTkM2hlsW2-fUap8HNlzcOyLXi5YEgOsi&%5F%5Ftn%5F%5F=%2CO%2CP-R)
For me, these kinds of on-the-nose observations about the human condition and the creative process provide further evidence (for my [headcanon](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-headcanon/), at least) for the inside-out nature of life, allowing me to relax further into basically [not knowing anything](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-knowing/), and writing about *that* every day.
As well as listening to some damn fine tunes.
Trance-meets-orchestra music-smash! 💥 Sends shivers down my spine.
🙌🏻
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The 3Ps aren’t a thingDon’t look at the finger, pointing to the moon 🌙👈🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/)
It's just life, being expressed in all these different ways.
### Normal distribution curves of experience
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/normal-distribution-curves-of-experience/
Last updated: 2026-05-22T05:59:59.000Z
I’ve done my fair share of speaking in front of large audiences. It’s not for everyone—a point I shall be coming back to—but I’ve always enjoyed it, in spite of the odd disaster.
There’s something about standing up in front of loads of people and talking passionately about an experience you’ve had, or something you really believe in—an idea that you truly *own*—that just floats my boat.
In the past I’ve given talks on my travels, on research I’ve conducted, and even on the intricacies of bike racing, for those thinking of taking it up! For [years I spoke about career change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inner-vs-outer-feelings/), and these days I give talks on wellbeing, from an Innate Health perspective. (Not bad for an ‘[introvert](https://www.gilespcroft.com/introversion-as-an-excuse/)’, eh? 😉)
It’s the last of those that is the least subjective, the least personal (even though it’s something that’s related via the medium of a [personal journey](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)) and the most objectively ‘true’ of all the topics I’ve spoken on, and yet… it’s the one that I’ll get the most pushback from.
Which is why, whenever I'm sharing with a big group for the first time, I’ve learned to manage that tension somewhat, by starting out with the following slide and making it perfectly clear that *any* of these reactions are just fine and dandy with me:
Reactions to this (and pretty much everything in life) fall on a normal distribution curve.
For the *‘Meh’ 😐* and *‘Ooh!’ 😲* responses that form the bulk of reactions that lie either side of the median, I made up the quotes for comedic effect. But those at the extremes—the revulsion 🤬 and the elation 🥰—are actual things people have said or written when I’ve shared the inside-out understanding with them.
To this day I remain blocked by a senior clinician in the wellbeing space on Twitter/X, for my heretical views; a badge that the Giles Ego Construct 📦 wears with pride, even though it freaked me right out at the time.
I’ve also had people email me after an hour’s talk I’ve given (or from them listening to one podcast episode), telling me that their lives had completely changed as a result.
That’s [the power of insight](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/). It’s pretty cool.
And the big old elephant in the room here, is that, in and of *itself*, this normal distribution curve response to *everything* we encounter in life (including giving talks to audiences), is barn-door evidence of the inside-out nature of experience, staring us straight in the face.
> **We all feel very differently about** [**the exact same thing**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/perspectives/)**!!**
It’s *so* obvious, it’s as if it’s [painted itself purple and is dancing naked on top of a harpsichord](https://youtube.com/shorts/H4q60RlY5-w?si=HBvCJKbhOzhDHY6A&ref=gilespcroft.com), singing *“Living in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality is here again!!”* … but we’re so blinkered to our *own* little version of what the mind calls ‘reality’, that we can’t see the wood for the trees.
Our experience is real, for sure, but it’s [not true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/).
If you’d like a visual representation, to get this fixed in your consciousness, I asked the old pixelbot to create this for me:
[8+ billion separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/); each one looking unquestionably true, ****from inside it.**
I hope it springs to mind, the next time someone disagrees with you.
😉
Giles
p.s. the real key to this I think, is seeing the absolute, 100% nature of this process – the fact that we can only ever experience things ***one way***. If you want help with that, this video of mine might bring it a little more into focus for you: [Your reality is a perception of the mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/)
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Get your own evidenceUsing some basic IF/THEN logic to completely change our lives 🚀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/)
You **can’t* just take my word for it, because this is not about belief. You have to get your own, insightful evidence for it working this way 👊🏻
### The thing vs. Your experience of the thing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-thing-vs-your-experience-of-the-thing/
Last updated: 2026-05-21T06:00:54.000Z
Short and sweet today: 1 minute of pointing to the principles that underpin our experience of life.
Because what shows up for us in life (‘the thing’) is *completely* out of our control!
That's a bitter pill to swallow sometimes, especially when it comes to something like the death of a loved one.
Relief from suffering comes from seeing that there are no rules about how we *should* feel—for *any* circumstance!—but that there *are* principles that govern our *experience* of ‘the thing’.
It might seem like a subtle difference, but it's the key to having a totally different experience of life; one free from stress & anxiety, and full of ease, connection and peace of mind.
If you can see, insightfully (maybe from watching videos like this one), that ‘the thing’ (i.e. the circumstances we face) are *not* connected to our *experience* of the thing (i.e. what we actually *get*, moment to moment), ***however much it looks that way***, then you’re free.
As I explain, in this very short (1 min) video:
0:00
/1:01
1×
Clip lifted from my [Video Masterclass on Grief, Loss and Death](https://payhip.com/b/nGoKp?ref=gilespcroft.com)
🙌🏻
Giles
p.s. If you’re struggling with feelings that you can’t seem to prise apart from your circumstances, please, [reach out to me for support](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/). It's what I do! 💝
p.p.s. The full Video Masterclass that this clip was taken from, on [Grief Loss & Death](https://payhip.com/b/nGoKp?ref=gilespcroft.com) is available in the store on the link below:
[VISIT THE STORE](https://payhip.com/b/nGoKp?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Related
[It’s not what happens, it’s how you feel about it.The one simple distinction that, when truly seen, will change your life forever 🤩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-happens-how-you-feel/)
More on this topic 💗
### Don't wait
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/dont-wait/
Last updated: 2026-05-20T06:00:38.000Z
Every now and again, my [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/) page-a-day calendar makes me sit up and listen.
Like this one. It seems so obvious—too obvious, even—and then you slow down and realise how right it is:
(You're looking at [next year's](https://amzn.to/4dgWs8w?ref=gilespcroft.com), now.)
What possible value could there be, in *waiting* to be happy?
When all you get, is Now.
💝
Giles
p.s. I remember listening to a brilliant audio programme, years ago—[*Conquering Procrastination*](https://amzn.to/4djU0hw?ref=gilespcroft.com), it was called—where this insidious little practice was referred to as ‘procrastinating on living’. 😙👌
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Not living life, nowIf we spend all our time with our attention on that fabled ‘better tomorrow’, you know what we miss out on? 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-living-life-now/)
### Your response to a situation *is* the situation
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-response-to-a-situation-is-the-situation/
Last updated: 2026-05-19T06:00:18.000Z
Last week, I ran a series of Daily Reminders, all on the topic of Mental Health.
And in one of them ([A new definition for Mental Health](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-new-definition-for-mental-health/)) I mentioned something that I've been meaning to come back to ever since I wrote it.
Because it's so important. But really easily misunderstood. I said:
> *“Look again at that diagram in the video and you'll note that ‘what is’ includes the mind and all its responses”*
So let's just settle down for a moment and get clear on the implications of that. Because probably the most common presentation I see with clients is that they're having an experience they don't like, that they want to change. For instance:
- anxiety or unease, after a previous situation that's now passed
- upset or strong emotions, in particular circumstances
- extreme sadness, when recalling an event from the past
- urges to behave in a particular way, when faced with a certain state of affairs.
And, very naturally, the desire is to change that experience. Make it different. Stop the flashbacks. Mitigate the emotions. Suppress the urges.
But that's only because they look separate from the situation. It's like there's ‘situation’ over here → 🏡
😫 ← and ‘response’ over here.
But the two aren't separate. They are literally one and same thing, because:
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a thought-created perceptual reality
100% of it is thought-created: it's *all* going on within.
Therefore our ‘response to the situation’ (the phrase itself of which implies separation) is in fact the situation.
That's it. That's what you're getting. It's the whole situation, as it arises in consciousness.
## Revisiting quotes
I'll be honest, my poor little mind starts to go into meltdown if I think about this one too hard, so let's just re-examine three famous quotes—all of which I think I've probably trotted out before—and look at them from this perspective:
### **1\. Sydney Banks**
> *“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”*
This one appears at the bottom of every email I send out. But what's your understanding of the word “experience”? Is it just the stuff that happens… or does it include the mind's response to situations, which actually *is* the situation?
How would that change the meaning of the quote?
🤔
### 2\. Jiddu Krishnamurti
> *“My secret? Oh, I suppose you could say, I don't mind what happens.”*
On the surface of things, this looks like a classic case of (somewhat passive) acceptance. ‘*Oh well, bad shit's happening, who am I to complain?’* But what if “what happens” incorporates the mind's response to a situation (which *is* the situation)?
Would that shed a different light on this saying?
🤔
### 3\. Stephen Covey
> *“The way you see the problem is the problem.”*
My first exposure to this notion, and it completely passed me by (as did a lot of Stephen Covey's [*7 Habits of Highly Effective People*](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Habits-Highly-Effective-People-Anniversary/dp/1471195201?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.4Kvg1JAsqNDSCP3x6WQGT61pTMFVyGHZThPx55Bb8YExascNtGRNfR-fhKnECTYpL9bCCFIehahFv8dUQvicxvq4JaNOHih4WDVzvhgXba7CBvpfkAnVw%5FGQyyhBD0WHoR0oI0ol74tXDGdQCApnLr6wJQO11RLDYE1WgSP99y2UX9p-6I3tz0vVGsFbaWqs3N70PgpNrNHedOFTAvc869HIeXsnYrUkujKNZeQZBHc.qcfR3cc3S5KUBPJ7KFXyfPBs0Z8VMgOT1R1QwNdX3sQ&dib%5Ftag=se&keywords=7+habits+of+highly+effective+people&qid=1779104872&sr=8-1&linkCode=ll2&tag=cyyoowro-21&linkId=a7f183f0697141509b2e1f5504375ecd&ref%5F=as%5Fli%5Fss%5Ftl&ref=gilespcroft.com), that I suspect was actually a bit deeper than my eager reading of it).
I always used to think that this meant *‘There is a problem. And you need to change your perspective on it, in order to move forward’* (by reading this book, lol), but now I'm not so sure.
What if it's literal? Something more like: No, the ‘problem’ (if there even is one) is the mind's response to things. Because that's all you get. That *is* the situation.
🤔
## The result?
Well, everyone's got different stuff going on, and a Thought System 📦 full of their own experiences, so the details will be different for everyone, but the underlying principles are the same for everyone and there's something about *seeing* the depth of this—of appreciating that there *is* no situation ***and*** response; there's just ‘this’—that has a tendency to shift things for people.
Not in a way where you can plan for how-to-behave, the next time you're in said situation (doesn't work like that; please [stop trying](https://www.gilespcroft.com/stop-trying-to-change-your-behaviour/)!), but in the mind-body simply responding differently next time you encounter it.
💡
The situation will be different. Because your response **is* the situation.
(Maybe this is what they mean when they say that *“nothing's different, but everything's changed”* – you may not even notice the ‘problem’ any more!)
To a mind, that aches to have its fingers in *all* the pies, this will probably feel less-than-satisfactory. Maybe a tad frustrating.
And when you catch that this feeling too, *is* the situation, well then, you're on the right track to it all changing for you.
😘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[It’s just going to go awayThis is IT. The key to the change you want to see 🔑The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/)
### Limitless
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/limitless/
Last updated: 2026-05-18T06:00:36.000Z
How about we start the week open to possibility?
Here's Randall Munroe, of [XKCD.com](https://xkcd.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) with one of his astute observations:
[](https://xkcd.com/3174?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Link to original comic: [https://xkcd.com/3174](https://xkcd.com/3174?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Because possibility lies outside of the mind (with its 10ft6in clearance). And there *are* no limits, beyond that.
Let go of what you ‘know’ today, put aside your mind's expectations, and look for something new to occur.
💖
Giles
### One cause of our mental woes?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-cause-of-our-mental-woes/
Last updated: 2026-05-17T06:00:42.000Z
It's the last post in a week of #MentalHealthAwareness-related Daily Reminders, and I'm going to conclude it with a very short video that I think summarises the Innate Health approach to mental health & wellbeing.
Now the video that follows should perhaps come with some sort of advisory rating (how about ‘EG’ for *Existential Guidance*)?
😂
Because if you’ve had psychology training or a medical education like I did, or you’ve maybe just gone through life not ever really questioning the authoritative proclamations of the medical profession, the pharmaceutical industry, the media and most people you’ve ever met (because, why the hell would you?!) then it might come across as a bit bonkers. Or weird. Or heretical. Or insensitive.
(A bit like the rest of this week's posts, eh? 😉)
But I want you to slow down properly (it is Sunday, after all), literally forget *everything* you think you know about mental health and mental illness and watch it with a quiet, open mind:
0:00
/1:22
1×
So, in the spirit of genuine, consciousness-expanding inquiry, I’m going to paraphrase the question again, until you answer it, for yourself at least:
> If people did not believe any of their thoughts 📦 in any given moment (and so did not act upon them), could mental ‘illness’ exist?
Put your own thinking to one side for a moment and just rest with that proposition. Could the answer be staring us straight in the face?
---
And lest you think this is just me going off on one, the mention of “Factor P” in the video is in reference to landmark paper from the [American Journal of Psychiatry](https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.ajp.2018.17121383?ref=gilespcroft.com), called *All for One and One for All: Mental Disorders in One Dimension*, in which the authors relate their statistical discovery of a single, unifying factor for *all* psychiatric diagnoses that were observed in a five-decade study of a population-representative birth cohort of 1,000 people, which tracked pretty much every aspect of their lives for 50 years!
It's a fascinating, eye-opening read, and some colleagues of mine drew the obvious link to the 3 Principles (in similar terms to the video above), in a separate commentary paper.
For the curious, I'll link to both of these, below (these links take you straight to the online PDF versions):
📖
Caspi AH & Moffitt TE (2018) All for One and One for All: Mental Disorders in One Dimension. **American Journal of Psychiatry* ****175**(9):831-44 ([Link to ePDF](https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/epdf/10.1176/appi.ajp.2018.17121383?ref=gilespcroft.com))
Kelley T, Pettit W, Pransky J & Sedgeman J (2019) A new “inside-out” perspective on general factor p. **European Psychiatry* ****61**:85-87 ([Link to ePDF](https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/21B5DD290679DCCAA98134773D895E18/S092493380000170Xa.pdf/new%5Finsideout%5Fperspective%5Fon%5Fgeneral%5Ffactor%5Fp.pdf?ref=gilespcroft.com))
## Wrap up
Now, because I know that you're busy people who probably don't want to be reading academic papers, I have put together a ‘Topic Deep Dive’ video mini-masterclass on mental health that pulls together all of this week's Daily Reminders and gives you:
- A plain-English tour of the standard ‘medical model’ of mental healthcare (**Biological-Psychological-Social**) and why, for all its clinical utility, it keeps us trapped, focusing on symptoms, rather than causes
- An explanation of Caspi & Moffitt's landmark journal paper *“All for One and One for All: Mental Disorders in One Dimension”* \- and the profound implications of a **single general factor** underpinning all mental illness
- A look at the thoughtful **‘Inside-Out’ focused commentary** piece on the article, from 3 Principles teachers Tom Kelley, Dr Bill Pettit, Jack Pransky & Dr Judy Sedgeman, that takes these scientific findings one step further
- What the Innate Health understanding has to say about the **root cause** of all psychological suffering
- Why the **answer lies in simplicity**, not ever-increasing complexity… and what that means for mental healthcare in practice
- Loads more!
All this week's clips have been lifted from it and it's all done in the usual Giles Ego Construct 📦 style: lighthearted and plain-speaking, with a smattering of helpful readings, funny bits and geeky video overlays (I love putting these things together for you).
So if you're interested in mental health, for your own sake, or because you have loved ones, clients or patients with mental health issues, then this is an informative, relaxing, perspective-shifting 40 minutes you'll be glad you spent.
It's in the store now, on the link below – when you've watched it, [drop me a line](mailto:dr@gilespcroft.com) and let me know what you make of it!
[MODELS OF MENTAL HEALTHCARE TOPIC DEEP DIVE](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com)
💝
Giles
p.s. If you want to catch up on the full week's mental health-themed Daily Reminders, here's what we've covered:
- [*What actually is ‘Mental Health’*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-is-mental-health/)*?*
- [*Are we looking in the wrong direction*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/were-all-deluded/)*?*
- [*Looking upstream, to simplicity and root causes*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-new-paradigm-for-mental-healthcare/)📽️
- [*The role of biology in mental health*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mental-health-and-biology/)
- [*A new definition for mental health*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-new-definition-for-mental-health/) 📽️
- [*What about mental health diagnoses*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/diagnoses-the-power-and-the-peril/)*?*
### Related
[Labels are for jars 🔖The origins, usefulness and perils of mental health diagnoses. (Premium Written & Audio Content.)The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/labels-are-for-jars/)
More on Diagnoses for ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers**. Includes Audio 🎧 content.
### Diagnoses: the power and the peril
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/diagnoses-the-power-and-the-peril/
Last updated: 2026-08-15T05:41:51.000Z
It's #MentalHealthAwareness week, so we've been getting a different perspective on the subject over the past few days; one that has its sights set firmly on the Innate Health within each and every one of us.
🛋️
If you want to catch up, here's what we've covered so far:
• [**What actually is ‘Mental Health’*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-is-mental-health/)**?*
• [**Are we looking in the wrong direction*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/were-all-deluded/)**?*
• [**Looking upstream, to simplicity and root causes*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-new-paradigm-for-mental-healthcare/)
• [**The role of biology in mental health*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mental-health-and-biology/)
• [**A new definition for mental health*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-new-definition-for-mental-health/)
For consistency, I suppose we could simplify things to this:
Which I suppose begs the question: where do diagnoses fit in?
I'm in the somewhat privileged position of not being constrained by ‘the system’ when it comes to diagnoses, either as a service user, or a service provider.
If you [come to me for help](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/) with a particular difficulty, we're unlikely to spend much (if any) time or attention on any diagnostic label you've been given, because the fact you're seeking help with your experience means the diagnosis can't have *worked*.
> *“‘Worked’? What do you mean, worked?”* I hear you ask.
Yes, from an Innate Health perspective (certainly mine, anyway), the real power in a diagnosis is when it helps someone to ‘think less, and live more’.
Because at the fundamental level, that's literally *all* that's going on! (Have another look at the diagram above.) And being given a diagnosis—especially if the mind's been going on safari, looking for answers—can do that.
Being told by someone ‘in the know’ that this is what we *call* this observed pattern of thought/feeling behaviours has the potential to come as a hugerelief to a mind. (Especially if there's a lot riding on *receiving* said diagnosis, which, here in the second quarter of the 21st Century, sadly, it seems there is.)
But when a diagnosis doesn't ‘work’ is when it becomes an identity and/or limits what the mind says you can do. When a diagnosis *doesn't* work, there's a tendency for people to ‘think more, and live less’.
> *“Oh, I'd like to, but I can't really do that. It's my \[insert diagnosis here\], see?”*
That's the peril inherent in a diagnosis. ‘[The diagnosis trap](https://overcast.fm/+AAjb2JXNq%5Fs?ref=gilespcroft.com)’, as my mentor Judy Sedgeman calls it.
😞
## The day I received my diagnosis
I feel like I spent [46 years](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/#46-years-and-17-days) seeking a diagnosis. I absolutely, unequivocally felt that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. I had all the evidence – almost half a century's-worth!
I just wasn't cut out for contentment. I was [restless](https://www.gilespcroft.com/restless/); always on the move. Always seeking the next thing, in a way that others didn't seem to be (minds will do that to you – thought is the great separator)!
The symptoms:
- Capricious (projects, careers and relationships)
- Short tempered
- Drank too much
- Default state of unhappiness/dissatisfaction
I bet I could have been labelled with something and/or managed to get a prescription, had I sought one out. Depression? Personality Disorder? ADHD? I dunno – make something up!
Would it have helped? Unlikely. From here, inside the Giles Ego Construct 📦 I can tell you for nothing that I'd have just used it as an excuse for my behaviour, and it wouldn't have changed a damn thing.
💁🏻♂️
And then that fateful day, almost 8 years ago, when I stood up on a stage in front of a hundred people, and [had an actual experience of Innate Health](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/#:~:text=Death%2C%20and%20rebirth,-Now%2C%20it's%20hard), I received my diagnosis, clear as a bell:
😲
****Oh. I'm human.**
I'd been pointed in the direction of the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com), I'd taken it on board, logically, and then a [series of insights](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/) had made it all very real for me.
I saw that there was [nothing wrong with me](https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-me/) at all – I had just *thought* there was!
And with that, the diagnosis ‘worked’. Without really trying, I stopped thinking about my self (the Giles Ego Construct 📦) and all my (its) problems quite so much… and the symptoms [gradually went away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/) all on their own, too.
Like my thinking, I settled.
I became more patient and understanding. I stopped drinking ([eventually](https://www.gilespcroft.com/abstainiversary/)). I relaxed into the happiness & contentment that had always been there… I'd just not noticed.
---
Now, I'm more than aware that *bloke-has-insight-onstage-and-his-problems-melt-away* is not everyone's experience. (It can't be. There's [8+ billion of us](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/) and we all have different Thought Systems!)
So I'm not suggesting your experience will (or [should](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) 🚩) look anything remotely like mine.
But here's what I will say: the diagnosis trap—the perilous aspect of a diagnosis—is made entirely of thought. Which means it *isn't* a life sentence or ‘just how you are’ or anything like that. It just looks that way. (And someone may have tried to tell you that.)
If you've been given a label, are seeking one, or are in a position where you *assign* them yourself, there's something in you—in *everyone*—that exists *before* diagnostic labels, and that a label can't touch.
That's what this whole week has been pointing to.
That's Innate Health. It's not something you earn, or build, or achieve.
*It's already there.*
💖
Giles
### Related
[Labels are for jars 🔖The origins, usefulness and perils of mental health diagnoses. (Premium Written & Audio Content.)The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/labels-are-for-jars/)
More on Diagnoses for ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers**. Includes Audio 🎧 content.
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Now available in Digital Store: the ****Models of Mental Healthcare** Topic Deep Dive: a myth-busting 38 minutes where we cover (among other things):
- A plain-English tour of the standard ‘medical model’ of mental healthcare (****Biological-Psychological-Social**) and why, for all its clinical utility, it keeps us trapped, focusing on symptoms, rather than causes
- Caspi & Moffitt's landmark journal paper **“All for One and One for All: Mental Disorders in One Dimension”* \- and the profound implications of a ****single general factor** underpinning all mental illness
- A thoughtful ****‘Inside-Out’ focused commentary** piece on the article, from 3 Principles teachers Kelley, Pettit, Pransky & Sedgeman, that takes these scientific findings one step further
- What the Innate Health understanding has to say about ****the root cause** of all psychological suffering
- Why ****the answer lies in simplicity**, not ever-increasing complexity… and what that means for mental healthcare in practice.
This isn't a critique of psychiatry for its own sake. It's an invitation to look in a genuinely fresh direction – one with profound implications for how we understand suffering, and what we can actually do about it.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### A new definition for Mental Health
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-new-definition-for-mental-health/
Last updated: 2026-05-15T10:16:01.000Z
It's #MentalHealthAwareness week, so we've been looking in a different direction over the past few days: away from disorder, and towards health; away from complexity and towards simplicity; away from symptoms and towards causes.
🛋️
If you want to catch up, here's what we've covered so far:
• [**What actually is ‘Mental Health’*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-is-mental-health/)**?*
• [**Are we looking in the wrong direction*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/were-all-deluded/)**?*
• [**Looking upstream, to simplicity and root causes*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-new-paradigm-for-mental-healthcare/)
• [**The role of biology in mental health*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mental-health-and-biology/)
Which leaves us in a place where we're ready to consider a *new* definition for mental health; one that epitomises all of that, above 👆🏻
I share it in this short (<2 min) video clip, lifted from a session I ran, all about the different models of mental healthcare:
0:00
/1:50
1×
You can get hold of the full video, which is now [in the online store](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com), below
Towards the end of the clip, you'll see an overlay that pops up, that I want to draw your attention to, because there's something super-important about it.
It says: *“Awareness of the mind”* and the reason that's significant is because when a mind hears someone like Mark Howard defining mental health as:
> *“Contentment with what is”*
…it can very easily make a hop, skip and a jump and conclude that “what is” means situations and circumstances, and it's not that. Not really.
That would be the mind, [*trying* to accept](https://www.gilespcroft.com/accepting-non-peace/) something (and causing more upset in the process).
It's a deeper ‘contentment’ than that; one that is summed up in that [Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) quote that appears at the bottom of every Daily Reminder email:
Look again at that diagram in the video and you'll note that “what is” *includes* the mind and all its responses, which is why I say *“Awareness of the mind”* rather than leading you up the garden path by suggesting that you're going to somehow check out of the human experience and ‘get rid’ of your blabbering mind entirely.
Forget it.
Mental health is being at peace *with* the mind.
💞
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com)
This clip was taken from the Models of Mental Healthcare Topic Deep Dive: a myth-busting 38 minutes where we cover (among other things):
- A plain-English tour of the standard ‘medical model’ of mental healthcare (****Biological-Psychological-Social**) and why, for all its clinical utility, it keeps us trapped, focusing on symptoms, rather than causes
- Caspi & Moffitt's landmark journal paper **“All for One and One for All: Mental Disorders in One Dimension”* \- and the profound implications of a ****single general factor** underpinning all mental illness
- A thoughtful ****‘Inside-Out’ focused commentary** piece on the article, from 3 Principles teachers Kelley, Pettit, Pransky & Sedgeman, that takes these scientific findings one step further
- What the Innate Health understanding has to say about ****the root cause** of all psychological suffering
- Why ****the answer lies in simplicity**, not ever-increasing complexity… and what that means for mental healthcare in practice.
This isn't a critique of psychiatry for its own sake. It's an invitation to look in a genuinely fresh direction – one with profound implications for how we understand suffering, and what we can actually do about it.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Related
[Already acceptedLet’s chuck all previous notions of what ‘acceptance’ is in the bin. It’s all a \*lot\* easier than you think. 😙The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/already-accepted/)
Looking at a deeper kind of acceptance
### Mental health and biology
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/mental-health-and-biology/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T14:55:16.000Z
When I first came across the Innate Health understanding (there's a lengthy, [4-part story about that here](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/), if you're curious), things changed for me considerably, and I saw pretty much all of life quite differently.
Except mental health conditions.
See, I'd done a psychology degree, gone to medical school, worked as a doctor (even considering Psychiatry at one point) and basically been indoctrinated into the medical model of mental health *so* comprehensively, that when I heard people like 3Ps [Psychiatrist Dr Bill Pettit](https://gilespcroft.link/bill-pettit/?ref=gilespcroft.com) saying things like,
> *“There's only one cause of mental illness, and therefore one cure”*
…well, I just dismissed it out of hand. Because I (i.e. the Giles Ego Construct 📦) knew **for a fact** that it was more complicated than that. I'd read textbooks, had training, hell, even got qualifications that supported a much more granular view!
I also, very understandably, subscribed to the widely-held view that things like depression were caused by a deficiency in brain serotonin, because—again—that's what I'd been taught, over and over again, and I never thought to question it. ([It's not true](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-022-01661-0?ref=gilespcroft.com).)
The first time I listened to Dr Bill Pettit being interviewed on a podcast, I switched it off half way through, somewhat disappointed that 3 Principles teachers I trusted were having conversations with someone who was clearly [deluded](https://www.gilespcroft.com/were-all-deluded/), when it came to mental health.
😂
Ha ha! I can laugh now, having met Bill, been on courses with him and immersed myself more deeply in the Innate health understanding. Because I can see how the simplicity—the ‘one cause’ aspect he talks about—doesn't so much replace, or negate the complexity that we see in human behaviours & symptoms, it just lies [upstream of it all](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-upstream/), giving rise to it all.
Still, my poor medically-trained Thought System couldn't seem to get past the difficulty of biochemical changes in the brain surely *causing* different thoughts, feelings and behaviours? (I'd drunk enough alcohol in my life to have seen how *that* works! 😆)
It couldn't be the other way round, could it? Thought *couldn't* cause changes in our biology… could it?
Until one of those 3 Principles teachers I trusted pointed out something as simple as embarrassment, or anger—i.e. thought/feeling constructs—causing profound physiological changes within us.
🤷🏻♂️
I recently came across this joyfully cheeky little episode of the [Sufi Comics strip](https://www.suficomics.com/blog/whats-in-a-name?ref=gilespcroft.com), that—in a slightly different context—spells out the same thing:
[](https://www.suficomics.com/blog/whats-in-a-name?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Read the full thing, here → [https://www.suficomics.com/blog/whats-in-a-name](https://www.suficomics.com/blog/whats-in-a-name?ref=gilespcroft.com)
When I slowed down and reflected that a room full of people could have a range of reactions to all sorts of situations, all of which could easily be accompanied by physiological changes, it just started to loosen my sense of ‘rightness’; of ‘knowing for a fact’ that things were indeed the way I'd been taught for so many years.
Who was I to say that repeated habits of thinking couldn't affect biochemistry over time, or cause long term organic changes in the body and/or brain, or even switch genes off and on?
I still don't know, but I'm a lot more comfortable not knowing these days.
I certainly don't proclaim to know much of anything ‘for a fact’ any more, and I have to say, life's become a lot less aggro, since!
✌🏻
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Unknown unknownsThe thing that’s going to help you change lies outside of your current frame of reference ✨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/)
You could fit the sum total of everything I don't know into the infinite void of the universe.
### A new paradigm for mental healthcare
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-new-paradigm-for-mental-healthcare/
Last updated: 2026-05-15T10:13:04.000Z
We're continuing to look in a different direction for #MentalHealthAwareness week.
Generally speaking, us humans do like to complicate things. We think that the further we get into the detail of something, the more answers we will find.
In the world of mental health treatments, this means more and more diagnostic labels, and more tailored treatments – the notion of ‘[precision psychiatry](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/precision-psychiatry?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ is actually a thing! 😳
But the Innate Health understanding looks in the opposite direction: upstream, to simplicity.
How does that translate to mental health?
Well, maybe a little bit like this:
0:00
/1:08
1×
You can get hold of the full video, which is now [in the online store](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com), below
There's no right and wrong here, just doing what makes sense, given the perspective we're looking at things from.
For me, it all boils down to that quote from the academic paper I'm reading from:
> *“Everyone experiences symptoms of disordered thought, negative emotions, and strong urges to act. However, if people understand they do not have to believe in the ‘reality’ of these experiences, their psychological functioning will remain healthy.”*
If you'd like to read the full paper (it's [one of my favourites](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-isnt-there-more-research/)), then you can download it here:
[A new “inside-out” perspective on general factor pCommentary on Caspi & Moffit's paper: “Mental Disorder in One Dimension”Pettit Pransky & Sedgman (2019) New IO Perspective on General Factor P (EurPsych).pdf385 KBdownload-circle](https://www.gilespcroft.com/content/files/2026/05/Pettit-Pransky---Sedgman--2019--New-IO-Perspective-on-General-Factor-P--EurPsych-.pdf "Download")
💟
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com)
This clip was taken from the Models of Mental Healthcare Topic Deep Dive: a myth-busting 38 minutes where we cover (among other things):
- A plain-English tour of the standard ‘medical model’ of mental healthcare (****Biological-Psychological-Social**) and why, for all its clinical utility, it keeps us trapped, focusing on symptoms, rather than causes
- Caspi & Moffitt's landmark journal paper **“All for One and One for All: Mental Disorders in One Dimension”* \- and the profound implications of a ****single general factor** underpinning all mental illness
- A thoughtful ****‘Inside-Out’ focused commentary** piece on the article, from 3 Principles teachers Kelley, Pettit, Pransky & Sedgeman, that takes these scientific findings one step further
- What the Innate Health understanding has to say about ****the root cause** of all psychological suffering
- Why ****the answer lies in simplicity**, not ever-increasing complexity… and what that means for mental healthcare in practice.
This isn't a critique of psychiatry for its own sake. It's an invitation to look in a genuinely fresh direction – one with profound implications for how we understand suffering, and what we can actually do about it.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/ZKJwV?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### We're all deluded
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/were-all-deluded/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T15:38:35.000Z
It's #MentalHealthAwareness week so I'm going to stick to the topic for the next few days.
But not to the script, eh? 😉
We all *know* the script – something along the lines of: You need to look after your mental health, because it's not going to do it on its own. Reduce stress. Get outdoors. Connect with others. Eat well. Exercise. Get rest. Set healthy boundaries.
In other words, work hard at it, and you'll succeed.
Now I'm truly *for* all of those good ideas (it makes sense for me to do most of them myself!) but I wouldn't say they're a prerequisite for ‘good mental health’.
Because if they were, and it all worked like that, well then, wouldn't all of this increased ‘awareness’ of the problems—and solutions—mean that our mental health as a society was much *improved*? That there'd be *fewer* mental health problems?
\[Cue embarrassed silence.\]
Maybe the script isn't working, not because people aren't *trying* hard enough, but because it's all based on a false premise?
Could we all be very innocently… deluded?
## Let's ask the psychiatrists
A while ago I read a book called [The Self Delusion](https://amzn.to/4dgxapJ?ref=gilespcroft.com), as it was recommended to me by a colleague. To my mild disappointment, it wasn't so much about the illusory separate ‘self’ identity (one of my favourite [topics to write about](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/identity/)), but more about how we're biologically more connected to the world (and other people) than we fully realise.
But there was a fantastic bit, right near the beginning, where the author, Tom Oliver, was making the case for what a delusion actually *is*. Seeking generally accepted advice, he discovered that the technical definition:
> *“…according to the Diagnostic & Statistical Manual (DSM-IV; the professional psychiatrist’s bible of personality disorders) is *‘a false belief that is firmly sustained despite what almost everyone else believes and in spite of incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.’*”*
Ha. Read that again. According to the people generally seen as knowing how the mind works, they're saying they consider you to be deluded if you don't believe what the majority believes!
🤯
After pondering whether it might be more rational *“…to label any belief as delusional if it is objectively untrue, irrespective of social norms,”* the author goes on to perform a little thought experiment:
> *“Imagine a future world where only a few people survive under the guidance of a cult leader, who they all believe is Elvis Presley reincarnated. Would those people be deluded, even though they all share this same belief together?*
>
> *If your answer is like mine, that they would surely still be deluded, then you would probably also agree we should base our definition of delusion on the contravention of objective truths.”*
Right on, brother! ✊🏻
## History repeats
As a species, we've been wrong about so many things, it's unreal. (For instance, there's no way I could go back into practice with all my original medical school textbooks from the 1990s now – knowledge has moved on too much.)
But we have suffered even more fundamental delusions:
- We used to believe the [sun revolved around the earth](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-isnt-there-more-research/#an-illustration)
- We used to believe that [bad smells caused infection](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-answering-your-questions/#real-world-examples)
- We used to believe that the earth was flat
Until we figured out how stuff *actually* works.
And it's my assertion (and that of every other Innate Health practitioner) that we've got the whole domain of mental health wrong too.
The ‘delusion’ here is that mental health is something you *earn*, by performing a whole load of recommended practices. That **if you get the outside right, the inside will follow**.
But I'm not sure it works likes that. And I'm not alone (or ‘deluded’ as the DSM-IV would make out) 😆
I'll be gently questioning some more of these assumptions we hold over the coming days, but if you're curious, and you like to listen, then I *highly* recommend the very aptly-named [Psychology Has It Backwards podcast](https://www.psychologyhasitbackwards.com/episodes/?ref=gilespcroft.com), because Christine & Judy gently unpick this shared, culturally inherited ‘delusion’, one episode at a time.
Start at the very beginning (Episode 1) and listen with an open mind – you might be surprised by what happens!
Here are links on various platforms:
- [Apple podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/psychology-has-it-backwards/id1533373977?ref=gilespcroft.com)
- [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/show/0IFcDhq3h5tTioPr7fCj10?si=vkIIFCKhRmmnMNe3uGYxoQ&ref=gilespcroft.com) (Sort By Oldest)
- [The Psychology Has It Backwards website](https://www.psychologyhasitbackwards.com/episodes/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[What is mental health?Checking in that we’re on the right page, when it comes to Mental Health awareness 🌤️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-is-mental-health/)
If it's always there, why would you have to work at it?
### What is mental health?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-is-mental-health/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T06:55:00.000Z
This week, in the UK, it's [Mental Health Awareness Week](https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/our-work/public-engagement/mental-health-awareness-week?ref=gilespcroft.com): *“a week-long campaign that highlights the importance of good mental health, challenges stigma and promotes practical actions people can take to support their own wellbeing.”*
(Talking of practical actions, if you're new here, or have been forwarded this email, you could do a lot worse than [signing up (for free)](https://www.gilespcroft.com/#/portal/signup) to receive the **Daily Reminders** in your inbox. If you'd just like a refresh, then check out all the posts on the site tagged with #[MentalHealth](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mental-health/)… and share any that resonate with you.)
[Mental Health - The Daily RemindersMental health as birthright: who we really are, underneath the noise of Thought. Diagnosis ≠ life sentence ✋🏼The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mental-health/)
Click on this card to find related posts
I can get a bit of a bee in my bonnet about such campaigns, because generally speaking, as a society, we're looking in [completely the wrong direction](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-writing-about-conditions/) when it comes to the way we see, and treat, mental health conditions (which is the whole reason the Daily Reminders exist in the first place).
So to address the balance a little, here's a conversation I had with my then 9-year old daughter, on our walk to school, a few years ago:
### What is mental health?
It’s #MentalHealthAwarenessDay, or #WorldMentalHealthDay, or whatever it is they’re calling it this time round (I prefer the former), and my daughter was encouraged to wear yellow to school today, as a result.
We got to talking about it on the walk in. Curious, I asked her,
> ***“What d’you reckon the most important thing to remember about mental health is, lovely?”***
Now, she’s been through the [iHeart home-study ‘Ignite’ Programme](https://iheartprinciples.com/ignite-for-home/?ref=gilespcroft.com) (check it out for your own kids - it’s great!) and when Dad asks her a question like that, she treats it as a test, with a right and a wrong answer.
She’s well versed, so I got,
> *“Well, when anything happens, you can ask yourself the question, ‘Does it look like something outside of me is taking away my wellbeing?’ and that will tell you whether or not you’re on the ‘attached wellbeing’ path. And that’s not how it actually works.”*
Pretty good, in a multiple-choice kind of way, and I’d like to think she puts this in to practice in her more reflective moments, but you’ll note that just like a politician (or every client I’ve ever worked with) she’s not answered the question I’ve asked her. She’s instead given me an answer to a question she *wants* to answer. Classic.
I pushed, rephrasing and focusing a little:
> ***“So, where d’you reckon mental health is, then?”***
She paused.
> *“In your heart? No, ummm, your head. Oh. No. Umm, oh, I don’t know, Dad.”*
(At this point probably wishing we could instead talk about how she can almost touch her nose to her knees when stretching, or what happened when a wasp landed on her apple at school, or anything other than this boring Dad stuff.)
Sensing myself about to launch helplessly, and pointlessly into a baffling description of [*inside-that’s-nothing-to-do-with-any-part-of-our-bodies*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-wisdom-comes-from/) to a small child, life intervened and rescued me, as at that point we walked out from underneath a tree, into a fierce, low autumn sun that was busy burning off the early morning mist.
> ***“Well, what if mental health was nothing to do with our bodies at all? What if it was a bit like the sun?”***
> *“Always there, you mean, Dad?”*
(She’s heard this metaphor before, and like you and me, needs reminding of it once in a while.)
> ***“Exactly that. And do you think the sun needs ‘looking after’?”***
> *“No, of course not. It looks after itself!”*
> ***“Can we always see the sun, during the daytime?”***
> *“No, we couldn’t see it first thing this morning, could we? It was covered up by the mist. It’s really bright now, though, isn’t it Dad?”*
> ***“It is, my love. You know, maybe that’s the closest we’re going to get to describing what mental health actually is: always there, doesn’t need looking after, sometimes gets covered up.”***
> *“By our thinking, Dad?”*
> ***“Exactly that, kiddo.”***
(Like I say, she knows the score.)
---
We walked for a while, talking about wasps and friends and traffic lights and Autumn being her favourite season and how awesome it is that we just saw three leaves fall off a tree all at once, when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I spotted a volley of sun rays, slicing through the mist in the valley beneath our feet.
I stopped, back-tracked a little and pointed it out to her, through the gap in the trees we’d just passed.
The view we saw together.
> **“WOWWWWW!!”** we said, in unison.
We stood there in silence (notable on a walk with a 9yo), just marvelling at the light, the grades of shade, the spiders webs glistening in the sun, the spectrum of colour in the leaves, the subtlest shade of blue above… and we rested *in* mental health.
Because that’s the other thing about it:
☀️
****Mental health is always Now.**
It can’t be anywhere or anything else, because everything else is the clouds of our thinking, obscuring the omnipresence of [Innate Health](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/).
## ⛅️
*“Take a picture!”* was her eventual first utterance (and mine, mentally, if I’m being truthful with you) and I did, and of course it’s lovely and it’s a reminder of that moment, but the feeling of peace—of mental health—we both experienced in that moment had nothing to do with the sun, or the mist and everything to do with just being.
Being. Present.
No labels. No judgement. No Dad, no daughter, no past, no future, just life.
And here’s the deal: to attribute this feeling to something ‘outside’ of the moment is the ‘attached wellbeing’ route all over again, and it’s a slippery slope.
Because before we know it, we’re back at square one, where it looks to us like we *can’t* experience mental health *unless* the conditions are just right for us:
- the sun has to shine
- people have to be nice to us
- work or school have to be going ok etc.
But that’s not how it actually works.
There is no barrier to entry for the experience of mental health. It’s waiting for us every time we fall out of our thinking *about* life and instead go about our business, at one *with* life, be that looking at trees and sunlight, dropping wasp-invaded apples, waiting at traffic lights, watching leaves fall or even arguing with our friends.
And as I write this, I realise that maybe she *did* answer my question, after all.
💟
Giles
p.s. The theme for this year's Mental Health Awareness Week is **‘Take Action’**, so please do just that, by either **forwarding this email** on to someone, or share the **online version** ([https://gilespcroft.com/what-is-mental-health/](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-is-mental-health/)) with your network. You'll be doing your bit 💝
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Looking upstream 🔖The different ways you can address mental health conditions. (Premium Written & Audio Content.)The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-upstream/)
Premium Content made ****Open Access** for Mental Health Awareness Week
### Every decision in your life
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/every-decision-in-your-life/
Last updated: 2026-08-27T14:17:47.000Z
I saw this online and haven't been able to look at it without bursting into laughter (and I've been looking at it a lot!!):
It's funny because it's incontrovertibly TRUE!!!!! 😂🤣
(Sometimes you wonder why you stay subscribed, don't you?! 🤣)
If you want a more serious take on this, then turn your attention to [Michael A Singer](https://amzn.to/4nksCCw?ref=gilespcroft.com), telling it like it is:
[This moment right in front of you“The moment in front of you is a gift from creation” \~ Michael A Singer 🌌The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-moment-right-in-front-of-you/)
It. Couldn't. Be. Any. Different.
And if you're in the mood for funny CHICKENS 🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓 stories, then treat yourself to the best 17 minutes of TED talk you will ever watch:
Enjoy your day, share some love.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
## Related
[“I can’t do it!”Maybe the struggle lies more in misunderstanding, than adversity? 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-cant-do-it/)
I mean, it could almost be perceived as a problem, if it was actually you doing any of this stuff 🤷🏻♂️
### Introversion as an excuse
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/introversion-as-an-excuse/
Last updated: 2026-05-09T07:15:16.000Z
The other day I wrote [one for the introverts](https://www.gilespcroft.com/forcing-yourself-to-be-sociable/), and if you don’t really like ‘being sociable’ then the Reader Ego Construct 📦 was quite possibly rubbing its hands together with glee, thinking, **“Ooh, I’m off the hook here – Giles said I don’t have to force myself to be sociable!”*
Yes, this is what minds do. They seek the path of least resistance, laying down ever-stronger habitual pathways of thinking into your neurology, making your life smaller and smaller.
🙄
So today, almost as counterpoint, I’m going to explore the fine line between
- genuinely not being in a fit state to socialise, *at one point in time* (as I [outlined in the previous post](https://www.gilespcroft.com/forcing-yourself-to-be-sociable/)) **vs.**
- being a bit up in your head about socialising *generally*, attaching to those stories, and watching your life shrink as a consequence.
Because it’s very easy to get sucked into using introversion as an excuse. And when lives shrink, there’s a tendency for us to live *less*, and think *more*. Which is rubbish.
😞
So let me relate to you what happened when I joined a social group for the very first time.
## Andy’s legacy
Depending on where you are in the world, and how in tune with men’s mental health you are, you may (or may not) have heard of [Andy’s Man Club](https://andysmanclub.co.uk/?ref=gilespcroft.com). It’s a charity that was founded ten years ago in the UK, following the death by suicide of the eponymous Andrew Roberts.
Nobody really had any idea how much Andy was suffering, so after the tragedy his family decided to create a space for men to talk about their experiences and get things off their mind, in a non-judgmental group setting. (Something that men are classically not very good at.)
Tapping into this tendency, their strapline is: **#ItsOkayToTalk** and from their humble beginnings (9 men in a room in the West Yorkshire town of Halifax, in the summer of 2016) they now have 320 venues in the UK where, every Monday, men get together over a cuppa and a biscuit to talk.
👌🏻
****Andy’s Man Club** is free and you don’t need to register – you can just turn up. It runs between 7-9pm every Monday (except Bank Holidays) and you can find your nearest venue here: [https://andysmanclub.co.uk/groups/](https://andysmanclub.co.uk/groups/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
You don’t need to be suicidal or even struggling with your mental health to show up – all men over 18 can attend. Each session is facilitated by volunteers and has a simple, easy structure to it. It's a friendly, welcoming experience, if you want to go along.
There’s a group in the town where I live, and I’m soon going to be doing some work with local dads, so I thought it would be a good idea to go along and check out how the sessions are run; see what’s on offer in the area.
And good lord, did the Giles Ego Construct 📦 have a lot to say about *that!*
## ‘Personality’ peril
You may have gathered, from the fact that I come to you from behind my desk via the written word; that I wax lyrical about [making mixtapes](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-nothing/#creative-nothing) long into the night; and that I am never happier than when smashing out [day-long solo bike rides](https://www.gilespcroft.com/good-things-and-bad-things-go-together/)… that I value solitude incredibly highly and do not *generally* feel sustained by group activities.
Ask my very sociable wife, and she’d say I go out of my way to avoid them, and she’s not wrong – I’m genuinely happier engaged in one of the creative pursuits listed above. I might talk a lot when you see me, but if I could be arsed doing any sort of personality ~~labelling exercise~~ test, I reckon I’d probably qualify as an introvert.
**Ok, ok, just for you, I stepped away and performed a quick* [**Myers-Briggs test*](https://freembtitest.org/?ref=gilespcroft.com)**, which, as I suspected, was full of questions I would answer one way or the other way, depending on what frame of mind I was in…* **and* *that involved giving answers that often directly contradicted each other, because* **both* *seemed applicable* 🤷🏻♂️
**But today, here and now, in my current state of mind, if this sort of thing is important to you, I came back as an* ***ISFP** *(‘The Adventurer’) with allegedly suitable careers such as Writer, Social Worker, Counsellor and Musician, which all sounds right up my street, doesn't it?*
**All that said, I shall promptly forget all of that because I’d score differently tomorrow, and even 10 minutes from now – it’s all made up!!*
And it’s so easy to hide behind these little labels, while failing to notice that we exhibit all sorts of tendencies, in different situations, and at different levels of consciousness, or mood. [Personality is not a (fixed) thing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-person-in-personality/)!
My most obvious manifestation of this was always the school run, when my daughter was younger. On some days I’d pitch up at the last minute, peaked cap on, silent, head down and avoiding making eye contact with *anyone* except my Chica… whereas other days, I’d be whistling all the way there and couldn’t wait to engage other parents and random people in conversation!
([Look for the inconsistencies](https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-should-be-having-a-bad-day/), people!)
## A room full of strangers
All of which goes towards setting the scene on me heading down into town to attend Andy's Man Club for the first time, and
- to get permission from the organisers to attend, given the reason I was there
- to sit in a room full of total strangers and talk about personal stuff
- to suffer the confusion that arises (still!) when asked *‘What do you do, then?’*
- to really not have the slightest idea about what was going to happen
- to feel more out of my comfort zone than I have felt in literally *years.*
And knowing that all of that 👆🏻 was not ‘how I was’ (and therefore using introversion as an excuse to opt out), or even ‘how these things are’ but rather that it was all just passing insecure thought that, in and of itself, could do no harm.
🔑
****Key Message**: STRESS is not inherent to situations – it's a creation of the mind.
But, in thrall to all this insecure thinking, introducing myself to the lovely, welcoming organisers felt awkward and clunky. I sat in silence like a rabbit in the headlights, while others greeted each other. When it was my turn to speak—easy stuff, nothing that I didn't want to share—I did so quietly, looking mostly at the floor, rather than anyone else.
It was fascinating to observe just how powerful thought can be!
## What dawned
And then, a couple of things happened. The **first** was that I began to listen to what the other men in the room were saying, when it was their turn to speak. As in, [properly listening](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-are-you-listening/), with nothing on my mind.
That meant:
- Not comparing what they were saying with what I thought
- Not judging what was being said as good, bad or any other adjective the mind might come up with
- Not imagining how I would reply, if asked, or how I would tackle such a situation
- Not thinking ahead to what I would say next time it was my turn to speak
- Not being distracted by the mind's commentary on what was being said
- Not thinking about something completely unrelated to the entire evening.
All of which is a lot easier—and relaxing!—than you might imagine. Letting the words wash over me, I got more of a sense of the person speaking; of where they were coming from. (That's kind of [how it works](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/#listening-as-a-catalyst)!)
And that naturally led to the **second** thing: relaxing into the reality of the situation: a group of my fellow humans, all faced with their own thought-created realities (some aspects of which, to each perceiver, seemed problematic… some funny… some inspiring).
As my conditioned nervous system began to feel safe and I became less and less ‘self’-conscious (you could say, as my [aperture opened](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-you-shaped-aperture/)), I became more conscious instead of the shared experience we were having.
And that question I posed [the other day](https://www.gilespcroft.com/forcing-yourself-to-be-sociable/) (the one that asks whether we have ‘*better-relationships-lead-to-happiness’,* back to front?) began to manifest in real time:
🤔
****What if it’s actually: Happiness and contentment result in better relationships?**
## The result
I've said, many a time before, that [all behaviour lies downstream](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/) of our present-moment relationship to thought.
Which means that as the mind's insecurities faded into the background:
- the accompanying jangly feelings I was experiencing started to settle
- I felt a genuine kinship with this room full of total strangers (the fabled [oneness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-to-one/), on which all else is built)
- I became genuinely, and naturally curious about others
- I easily started up conversations in the tea break (unheard of when attached to that ‘introvert’ identity)!
- I got into all sorts of conversations, including an in-depth chat on the walk home with someone who happened to live just round the corner from me
- I left with a great feeling, determined to make it a regular fixture in my calendar.
All stemming from a fork in the road where I very nearly didn't go along, because I *almost* fell for the mind's oh-so-seductive insecurities.
🤷🏻♂️
## Final word
Coming back to the [Harvard study](https://www.gilespcroft.com/forcing-yourself-to-be-sociable/) on the importance of meaningful relationships in our lives, I tend to agree with their conclusions: this stuff's powerful, and it's positive.
But hopefully this little episode has got you curious about the underlying mechanism. Maybe it's not so much the relationship *itself* that's contributing to our health and wellbeing, it's the way that we're showing up, and what's on offer when we approach time with others from a place of [presence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-being-present/) and [openness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-staying-open/).
All good to know, when your inner introvert (📦) is faced with an opportunity to socialise!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Fitting in 🔖Understanding feelings of ‘not fitting in’ puts us in touch with our True Selves. (Premium Written & Audio Content.)The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/fitting-in/)
A powerful piece of writing (with audio narration) that looks at how to turn feelings of ‘otherness’ to our advantage.
### I should be having a bad day
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-should-be-having-a-bad-day/
Last updated: 2026-05-08T06:00:21.000Z
I was scanning through my ideas list and I found this little note to self:
> *I should be having a bad day, and I think it’s important to note that I’m not.*
Ha ha!
The previous night, after a bit of a bad day, full of perceived problems, I had indulged myself (rebelled!) by staying up really late, listening to music on headphones, lying in the dark, and consequently got *way* too little sleep.
It was a bleary-eyed Giles that faced reality the next morning, and here's what I wrote, in my little list of ideas & observations I keep:
> *I’ve got so much work to do it’s crackers.*
> *I’ve got a full weekend’s cycling approaching and loads of prep to do for that.*
> *And all the situations that yesterday were perceived as “problems” have not gone away.*
> *By rights, today should be NOT GOOD.*
> *But I find my self to be largely care free.*
> *(That could be called “a quiet mind,” although the reality is, it’s bursting with ideas!)*
> *Yesterday’s problems don’t seem like such big problems any more.*
> *I feel capable of handling whatever comes along, and given how sleep deprived I am, you’d think it would be the opposite.*
> *Another nail in the coffin for the link between situations & how we feel.*
> *IT’S ALMOST AS IF THEY’RE NOT CONNECTED!!!*
😆
---
Of course there are just as many times—maybe more!—when ‘I’ (i.e. the mind; G.E.C., or Giles Ego Construct 📦) think I should be having a *good* day and I’m actually having a rubbish time of it.
But I’m less likely to be in the mood to sit down and write about that.
So you’ll just have to take it as a given that it happens a fair bit too.
This being human malarkey, eh?
Nobody’s immune.
Seriously though, there's a very practical takeaway for you here:
🛠️
It’s looking for these little ****inconsistencies** (that are obvious, once you get an eye for them) that are going to make the biggest difference in your life.
That’s when insight comes and gently opens the curtain on reality for you to get the tiniest of little peeks… that changes everything for ever.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Keep goingA truly inspiring watch of an unusual relationship 🐙The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/keep-going/)
A video to watch when you really just want to give up.
### Forcing yourself to be sociable
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/forcing-yourself-to-be-sociable/
Last updated: 2026-05-09T08:26:03.000Z
Good relationships keep us happier and healthier, yeah?
The [longest running study](https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2023/02/work-out-daily-ok-but-how-socially-fit-are-you/?ref=gilespcroft.com) on happiness—that's been going since 1938!—said so. Across all the various domains they examined (including careers, achievement, money, class, IQ, even genetic makeup) they found that meaningful social connections correlated most strongly not only with a felt sense of contentment, but also physical and mental health, and overall longevity.
On the flip side, they found that ‘loneliness is a killer,’ putting it up there with smoking and alcoholism in terms of its effect on our health.
Powerful stuff!
They also make very clear that it's not the *number* of relationships you have, but their quality (i.e. you can experience loneliness in a crowd, or a conflict-ridden family situation), noting that divorce may be ‘better for you’ than staying in a loveless marriage.
If you'd like an easy-to-digest look into this quite astounding study (that, admittedly has been conducted on a small cohort of white U.S. males, born into a very specific epoch) then have a watch of this TED talk, from the current (and 4th!) Director of the study:
## The call to action
It's only natural then, that the conclusion of all this work is to try and foster *better* relationships, and if you read any commentary on the Harvard study, you'll see advice for improving relationships like:
- Make an effort to connect with friends and relatives on a regular basis
- Be a good listener when you're with other people
- Be supportive and forgiving, of others (and of yourself)
- Be positive – positivity strengthens relationships!
…as well as general recommendations to avoid being alone at all costs. The message is that if you're feeling miserable, you need to get out of your comfort zone to be in social situations, because *relationships matter, people – it's the right thing to do!!*
Which all sounds fine and dandy, until you remember this inconvenient fact:
🔑
****Key Message**:
➤ ****100%** of our feelings come from (the Principle of) Thought
➤ ****0%** of our feelings come from our circumstances
Even the people running the study accept they can't demonstrate that good relationships **cause** happiness and contentment, so given that here at the Daily Reminders we explore how stuff *actually* works, let me ask you: what if it's the other way round?
> **What if happiness and contentment result in better relationships?**
🤔
## Going out vs. going in
When our minds are quieter, we're more naturally open, present and connected to all those things that we associate with the ‘flow state’, or ‘right brain consciousness’: wisdom, wellbeing, insight, intuition, creativity, possibility, perspective…
**And other people.**
When we're [present in the presence of another](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-being-present/), we're really *there*—in reality with them, rather than in our heads!—and this is almost certainly what the famous Harvard study is measuring, when it finds the importance of ‘meaningful’ relationships to our health, across time.
Presence comes first – you can't assume that it's manufactured from a crowd, and if you drag a miserable, insecure, head-full-of-stuff version of yourself into a social situation ‘in order to’ tackle that state of affairs, you're quite likely to make it worse (hence the lonely-in-a-crowd thing).
If you have even the faintest of ‘introvert’ tendencies—as we all do, at times (studies show that even those identifying as ‘extroverts’ [value times of solitude](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37444982?ref=gilespcroft.com))—and you're feeling low, you don't have to force yourself to be sociable, just ‘because it's good for you’.
Be in tune with what's right for that moment – it may be something you do alone, it may be with others.
If you listen for it, wisdom will guide you towards whatever best helps you to ‘[think less, and live more](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)’.
💖
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Introversion as an excuseHow to avoid hiding behind labels, and watching life get smaller 🏷️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/introversion-as-an-excuse/)
There’s a ****Part 2** to this Daily Reminder (just in case the Reader Ego Construct 📦 thought it was off the hook)! 😄
### Give in to joy
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/give-in-to-joy/
Last updated: 2026-05-06T06:00:04.000Z
I am by no means a [Mary Oliver](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary%5FOliver?ref=gilespcroft.com) aficionado. The Pulitzer Prize-winning American poet had a vast canon and none of it graces my shelves. (A crime which I aim to remedy; I think I’ll start with [*Felicity*](https://amzn.to/4d0ohAt?ref=gilespcroft.com) and work my way backwards, unless you have another recommendation for me?)
One of you put me on to her poetry a while back, and I have since kept an eye out on social media, via one of many fan accounts. There’s something about the simplicity—the obviousness—of her writing that really appeals.
This one in particular hit home, for obvious reasons:
> **DON'T HESITATE**
> *If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don't hesitate. Give in to it.*
> *There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be.*
> *We are not wise, and not very often kind.*
> *And much can never be redeemed.*
> *Still, life has some possibility left.*
> *Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world.*
> *It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins.*
> *Anyway, that's often the case.*
> *Anyway, whatever it is, don't be afraid of its plenty.*
> *Joy is not made to be a crumb.*
> \~ Mary Oliver (from the collection [*Felicity*](https://amzn.to/4uNSH0n?ref=gilespcroft.com))
How gorgeous is that?
I think we all too often believe that the ‘good’ stuff in life has to come with fanfare. The mind sets such conditions for happiness, and we strive so hard to keep it satisfied—ticking off its endless needs—we fail to notice the real joy that can be had at any moment.
The real joy that’s always there.
---
I caught myself worrying just the other day, and in the catching, a simple question seemed to arise:
> *What would life be like *right now*, if my attention wasn’t on this insurmountable-seeming problem?*
🤔
Up to that point, it had looked like joy was locked away behind the resolution to that problem, and the key was missing.
But the simple question put paid to that illusion, instantly, as I examined not just what life *would* be like, but what it *was* like.
Turns out, it was actually amazing! I fell right out of all my thinking and into a space of quiet, calm gratitude.
Not gratitude for a list of *stuff*, but the simple appreciation of *being*… and the fact that the capacity for ‘appreciation’ and ‘being’ and ‘falling out of my thinking’ are even a thing!
I noticed it *“in the instant that love begins.”*
So why not look for it today? It’s right there – under your nose!
Do not be afraid of its plenty. It’s your birthright.
It’s what you’re here for.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Listening for joyA speech from a galaxy far, far away hit very close to home. 🥂The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/listening-for-joy/)
Poetry from a galaxy far, far away.
### A you-shaped aperture
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-you-shaped-aperture/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T06:44:38.000Z
Possibly my favourite metaphor for who-we-really-are and how that all shows up in day to day life, is an aperture.
Our modern understanding of what an aperture is—probably driven by photography, and cameras—is a hole, through which something can get.
If you look up the etymology of the word you find this:
> **Aperture** (n.): from *Proto-Indo-European* compound of *ap-* (off, away) ✚ *wer-* (to cover)
💡
An aperture therefore, is ****the removal of whatever is covering something up.**
(Very befitting for the Innate Health understanding!)
This notion of humans-as-apertures led the philosopher [Alan Watts](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/track/an-aperture?ref=gilespcroft.com) to once surmise (in his own, very helpful version of [headcanon](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-headcanon/)), that:
> *“Every one of us is an aperture, through which the whole cosmos looks out.”*
And I couldn't love that more. I've written about apertures in a [previous Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/), and before I go into a bit more detail today, it's probably worth refreshing yourself on that one (it's not long):
[AperturesThis one makes the podium for my top 3 favourite metaphors for life! 📷The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/)
## A you-shaped aperture
The other day, when discussing [ideas showing up](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-did-the-idea-come-from/), and how they come from ‘nowhere’ but they're still unique to us, I happened to say that **the aperture through which good ideas come is “you-shaped”** and while I have a clear idea in my head about what I mean by that, you may not.
So I did a bit of crafting and came up with a visual representation for you. Here's a very simple aperture I made, with two basic components:
1. The bit that stops the light getting through (💭)
2. The hole where the light gets through (❤️).
This is YOU. Who you really are. An aperture, through which the energy of life flows, relentlessly. And that combination of the light/life energy, being filtered through/covered up/limited by your human perceptions… well, that's what you get.
The resulting shadow on the wall is what you see in the world of form: feelings, thoughts, perceptions, behaviours. Like this:
**“Every one of us is an aperture through which the whole cosmos looks out.”* Thanks to Mrs Croft for being such a helpful hand-model.
And of course we all have different Thought System 📦 contents, because we've all got different genetics, and had different life experiences, and been conditioned with different beliefs, so the *shape* of the edges of the aperture (your beliefs, or ‘personality’) will also determine the quality/characteristics of what light gets through; all your little idiosyncrasies.
These Daily Reminders are very much Giles Ego Construct-shaped 📦
Life is still life. It's the source, and is completely unaffected. It's impersonal. It's pure, uncontaminated, bright white life-energy. It's infinite. It's what [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) used to call ‘the allness’ – it's got *everything*, ever, in a formless state. It would [blow your mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/meetings-from-hell/#1-minds-are-very-selective) if it wasn't filtered through your perceptions… and it just so happens that those perceptions/beliefs have a shape. A ‘you’-shape.
Makes sense, yeah?
As I wrote in the [previous piece on the topic](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/), there'll be times when our aperture is wide-open; when our sense of self is not necessary/not being created, and a lot of LIFE (and wisdom and creativity and love and intuition and oneness and ideas and compassion and peace and wellbeing) comes through, because it's relatively unobstructed.
We'll still ‘be ourselves’ because the edges of the aperture, however wide it is, are still ‘us’-shaped… there's just much less of it, and you could imagine it's a bit stretched, so less impeding of life's outflow.
And then of course there'll be ‘bad’ days, when there's a LOT of ego showing up, obstructing the light and closing that aperture right down. We're very attached to our thinking; our attention's on that, rather than on the light of *being* that's pouring through us (or at least trying to).
And it might look a bit like this:
Watch out you don't cut yourself on ego – it gets a bit spiky at times! 😂
So that's what I mean by a you-shaped aperture, and I hope it offers a visual metaphor that helps, as you go about your day.
Let that aperture relax open, and the wonder of life flow through you.
💖
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Wisdom is contextualIf you can see your path laid out ahead of you… well then, it’s not your path. 🧭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-is-contextual/)
This is also what I mean by the energy of life—wisdom, presence—being ‘contextual: it's always going to be ‘you’-shaped, and showing up in the right way for YOU, and where you're at 💖
### It’s all headcanon
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-headcanon/
Last updated: 2026-05-04T06:00:47.000Z
In [yesterday’s Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-did-the-idea-come-from/), I mentioned the notion of ‘headcanon’, as an example of the Giles Ego Construct’s 📦 reasoning behind where good ideas (might) come from.
And I thought it could be helpful to look a little more closely at this notion of ‘canon’, because it has the potential to help us think less, and live more.
(Which we are big fans of here at the Daily Reminders.)
## What’s ‘canon’?
The Chambers Dictionary has several definitions for ‘canon’, one of which is:
> *“The recognised genuine works of any author”*
And in the world of duality, where every concept must have an opposite, that means there must also be stuff that’s ‘not canon’ (i.e. *not* genuine works that form part of the official story).
An example might be the Star Wars franchise (canon) and then a whole load of offshoot novels (some of which are considered ‘canon’; others of which are not).
Or maybe the Harry Potter books (canon) and then things like stage plays, fan-made continuity pieces or parodies (e.g. “[10 Years Later](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2AF49421ADC4D357&si=478X9AVjscmIUx1d&ref=gilespcroft.com)”) and video games, which all have stories involved that are set in the same world, but they’re not ‘canon’.
## So what’s ‘headcanon’?
Which brings us to ‘headcanon’ – a delightful term that’s defined, in an [interesting little article](https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/words-were-watching-headcanon-fanon?ref=gilespcroft.com) on the Merriam-Webster Dictionary site, as:
> *“Something that a fan imagines to be true about a character even though no information supporting that belief is spelled out in the text.”*
So, hidden motivations and illicit relationships within a fictional universe abound: Dumbledore knew *everything* in advance, R2-D2 is secretly steering the events of the Star Wars franchise, Blade Runner’s Deckard is a Replicant etc.
Headcanon is the stories people make up to ‘fill in the gaps’ and help them to get closure on the unwritten reasons *why* a character behaves the way they do, or a situation unfolds the way it does.
## How does this help?
Well, it’s not much of a stretch to see that we’re creating ‘headcanon’ all day, every day, across multiple situations:
- A less-than-favourable response from someone means they must hate you
- A bodily sensation means x, y or z illness
- A text or [email goes un-replied](https://www.gilespcroft.com/email-expectations/) to, and ‘reasons’ abound
- Your partner leaves something out, in plain sight, and it’s all about you
- A mistake you made means you’ll never be forgiven
- Someone lets on who they’re likely to vote for, and you instantly know *everything* about them
- Your kid pushes back against a sensible boundary and they’ll forever hold it against you…
…the list goes on (and on, and on, and on).
It’s *easy* to see examples of headcanon in the world of fiction, because what’s canon is finite; committed to hardback, or celluloid. Stuff’s either canon, or it isn’t, therefore any extraneous meaning or back-story is obviously headcanon.
But in the world of [8+ Billion separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/), where everything is, by definition, ‘[made up](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-made-up/)’ and we don’t really know anything—certainly not what’s going on inside other people’s thought-created ‘realities’—it’s very easy to get carried away with these stories and see them as fact.
But they’re no more true than Harry Potter.
It’s *all* headcanon.
💟
Giles
p.s. Today’s headcanon: It’s [May 4th](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star%5FWars%5FDay?ref=gilespcroft.com) (I *honestly* only noticed *after* hitting Publish on this one; coming back to write this post-script) which means it was destiny that I would inevitably write something about Star Wars!! 😯😆
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Email expectationsThe one about how junk mail actually improved things, for once! 📨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/email-expectations/)
That time a story appeared out of nowhere. Again.
### Where did the idea come from?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-did-the-idea-come-from/
Last updated: 2026-05-03T06:00:11.000Z
A Daily Reminders reader had been musing on this notion of generally being [disinterested in our thinking](https://www.gilespcroft.com/but-if-i-ignore-my-thinking/), and what it meant for performance.
Suddenly, they had a really good idea, around the topic. Something fresh, new. An insight! And in their own words:
> *“It came to me just as I was about to fall asleep. Not unusual, but for the first time in my life I acted and wrote it down rather than assume I'd remember in the morning (0% success rate across 45 years of research). Which I guess begs the question, where did the idea come from and who decided to write it down?”*
Brilliant questions, thank you! Let’s take each in turn.
## Where did it come from?
Now, I’m an expert on this stuff, so I can state categorically that I honestly don’t have the first clue.
😂
I mean, seriously – who the hell knows?! I certainly don’t. Part and parcel of this amazing, mystical, inscrutable journey we make through the world of form is to make up our own minds about what’s going on, and be cool with that, without attaching to our ideas too strongly (because they’re made up, and [by definition, wrong](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insights-keep-coming/#:~:text=because%20of%20the%20nature%20of%20thought%2C%20all%20of%20us%20are%20%E2%80%98wrong%E2%80%99%20all%20of%20the%20time!!)).
Generally speaking, it seems like we do a lot better when our attention *isn’t* on the mind’s itty-bitty little theories, but rather the expansive creative flow of life, coming through us.
So the less time we can spend pondering *why* something happens the way it does, instead relaxing into the acceptance *that* it happens… well, that’s a good thing in the Giles Ego Construct’s 📦 book.
As Michael Neill put it in his excellent book [*Creating The Impossible*](https://amzn.to/4n0rx3m?ref=gilespcroft.com),
> *“The emergence of fresh new thinking and unexpected synchronicities (i.e. ‘luck’) is 100 percent reliable and 98 percent unpredictable.”*
> \~ Michael Neill
For the record (since you asked), my [headcanon](https://www.dictionary.com/culture/slang/headcanon?ref=gilespcroft.com) version for where ideas come from is more and more that all possible thoughts are *already* there, ‘in the ether’ and our [minds act as receivers](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-mind-isnt-made-for-thinking/), pulling them down, with what we perceive being a function of how ‘[open’ we are](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/) in any given moment.
But I could be sat here typing that wearing a tinfoil hat, for all you know, so take it with a pinch of salt.
## Who decided to write it down?
Again, that’s a big fat **I don’t know**. But it seems fairly clear that it’s *not* this notion of ‘self’ (the Reader Ego Construct 📦) that insists it made the decision for you and is [driving the bus](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/) in general.
Try as hard as you like, you’ll never find it, or pin it down. It’s only there when you’re thinking about it (i.e. it’s a construct), and all the rest of the time, life carries on happening, regardless.
(‘Better’, you could almost say 😬)
I really like Chris Niebauer’s book on this topic, [*No Self, No Problem*](https://amzn.to/4w2b5DW?ref=gilespcroft.com), in which he says,
> *“It is the process of thinking that creates the self, rather than there being a self having any independent existence separate from thought. The self is more like a verb than a noun. To take it a step further, the implication is that without thought, the self does not, in fact, exist.”*
> \~ Chris Niebauer
Which is why I think of any ‘ill’ behaviour happening on my watch these days, as ‘Giles-ing’. Because I’m always caught up in that notion of self, when acting like a dufus.
💁🏻♂️
Seeing it’s just a collection of ideas, really helps.
## You can take ownership
All that said, the [aperture](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/) I mentioned above—how open we are, to be receiving these ideas—that’s ***you***\-shaped. What shows up takes its form from all your stuff – the experiences that have happened on your watch. I don’t think there’s any escaping that.
(Which is why you can read this and know it’s been written by me – you recognise the ‘Giles-ness’ of it.)
As for why the writing-it-down thing occurred to you all of a sudden, for the first time, well, again, that infinite creative force—life-energy—has to come *through* you, and part and parcel of that data repository is the fact that you’ve been around the Daily Reminders for a while now.
Let’s face it, I’ve written a fair bit about the [MECHANICS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mechanics/) of the mind, as it pertains to [productivity](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/productivity/), so I’m guessing in that moment, it just made sense!
All the more reason to stick around.
😘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The ticking clockConsciousness is weird. But we can use that fact to our advantage 📡The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-ticking-clock/)
More on the notion that it’s all there, we just don’t perceive it.
### Helping others: Staying open
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-staying-open/
Last updated: 2026-06-11T11:27:26.000Z
📑
This is ****Part 4** of a [mini-series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/), that all kicked off when someone asked me, **“How can I help my partner when they’re suffering?”* I thought it might be helpful to lay out some of the basic principles I rely on when sharing the Innate Health understanding, myself.
You can read ****Part 1**, here: [****Two moods in the room**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-moods/)
****Part 2**, here: [****Step 1 - Showing up**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-showing-up/)
And ****Part 3**, here: [****Step 2 - Being present**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-being-present/)
We’re looking at the process of sharing in 3 basic steps, and if I could boil down the previous two steps in a sentence each, it might look something like this:
- **Step 1**: Relax out of the need to share, and listen from a place of love
- **Step 2**: Get present, together, and see what occurs in the ‘sharing space’
And before we move on to **Step 3**, I want to consolidate those previous two steps with a little passage from the book [*Unbreak Your Heart*](https://amzn.to/3Rd0OVo?ref=gilespcroft.com) by Linda & George Pransky, where they remind us:
> *“Trying to change your partner is *futile*. People don't change by being *confronted*, or through *willpower*. To have real and lasting change you have to see something *new* about what it is that you want to be different … This insight has to come from the person making the change. No amount of pressure from you towards your partner is going to create their insight into changing their behaviour. They have to see it for themselves.”*
Which of course echoes this one, that I often share with you:
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but INSIGHT
Now, to a mind, that just wants to get its sleeves rolled up and *fix this, now!* that's endlessly frustrating to hear. But when you have another look at the diagram above, you'll appreciate that ‘pressure’, ‘confrontation’ and ‘willpower’ all live in the (closed) head-space.
Change occurs in **presence**.
## Step 3: Staying open
There are two words right there, so let's examine each in turn.
### “Staying”
Put simply, when in the presence of someone you'd like to help in some way, once you meet them in a nice quiet place of love, understanding and reflection, your only job is to stay there!
You'd be amazed (actually, you wouldn't) at how easy it is for the mind/ego to become roused, put on its hobnail boots and jump back into the fray, especially if the other person gets all shook up again and says some stuff (which is likely).
I sometimes feel like egos are *covered* in buttons, just waiting to be pushed!!!
Is watching this animation pushing yours? 😉
Thankfully you've got an early warning system of your very own, built in – your feelings. Any time you start to feel put upon, insecure, ‘right’, or like you're taking things personally, that's a sign that ego has crept back in again, without you noticing.
Relax. There's [nothing under attack](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/) here, but an idea. Let it float on by and stay in presence.
### “Open”
Back in the original Daily Reminder, all about the [3 necessary ingredients](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) for change, the ‘staying open’ step was all about being willing to be wrong.
(Because being ‘right’ is just a manifestation of ego; what the mind *thinks* it knows.)
And it's no different here. At the end of the day, you don't know what this other person needs, or what change they are going to see (if any). You're there to help *them* stay open too, so that change can happen.
You remember back in **Step 1**, where we discussed the aphorism of leading a horse to water, but not making it drink? That's what these steps are about. By showing up and being present, you're right there with them, at the edge of the water.
If they're curious, they'll drink.
### What's *not* being said
A bit of behind-the-scenes for you here: I had no idea where this little [mini-series on sharing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/) was going to go… at any point in the process! It's come together, bit by bit, *as* I've been writing it.
And you'll note I haven't mentioned sharing the notions of mind, consciousness or thought (the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com)) once.
Nor have I given you instructions about how to demonstrate to someone that they're living in a thought-created perceptual reality.
And the only mention I have made of the thought/feeling connection is above, as it pertains to *you* staying in a relaxed, open state of mind when being with this person.
None of that stuff is needed for change to occur.
All that's ever required is what I said, right at the outset. And you won't go wrong, if you have this as your guiding light:
❤️
****Love and understanding**
Because, to reiterate the advice I was given all those years ago, that has become etched on to my soul (for very good reason!):
> ***How you're being, and the feeling you're coming from, is going to be a far more persuasive form of communication than anything you say.***
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Sharing Series - The Daily RemindersSome basic principles to bear in mind when helping others with your understanding of the 3 Principles ✨The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/)
The rest of this mini-series on sharing the Innate Health understanding
### Ignoring thought (your concerns)
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/ignoring-thought-your-concerns/
Last updated: 2026-05-01T06:00:57.000Z
A week ago [I wrote a post](https://www.gilespcroft.com/but-if-i-ignore-my-thinking/) about how the mind stakes its claim on our attention by feeding us very convincing stories about all the bad things that will happen if we have the audacity to ignore it.
🙄
I got the ball rolling with one of the Giles Ego Construct’s 📦 favourites—*“I won’t get anything done”*—and it was quite popular with you all. If you missed it, you can catch up, here:
[“But if I ignore my thinking…”Let’s call mind out on one of its most nonsensical arguments, shall we? 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/but-if-i-ignore-my-thinking/)
I finished it with a question, sent out to readers: *What story does your mind come up with in this scenario?* …and some of you have been kind enough to furnish me with answers, so I’ll give you my take on how to see through each one in turn.
These are Reader Ego Constructs 📦 auto-completing the sentence, *“But if I ignore my thinking…”*
### *1️⃣ “… I’ll forget, or miss, something important!”* 😩
This was the most-cited one from all of you. And in today’s busy, always-on, stuff-to-do world that we live in, it’s maybe to be expected. It’s like the bastard child of *“…I won’t get anything done,”* isn’t it? – we overcome inertia, only to be slammed with a feeling of overwhelm instead!
(Honestly, minds – you can’t win! 😆 #[quitthegame](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-hasnt-worked/))
But it’s also the easiest of the mind’s objections to tackle, because—from where I’m stood, at least—this is a straightforward resource allocation issue.
Back in the 1950’s psychologists looked at how many bits of information the mind can hold in short term memory, and concluded it was somewhere in the region of seven. With later studies, that’s since been revised downwards to more like 3 or 4.
The mind is demonstrably not *capable* of holding on to all the important bits of information you’re trying to juggle mentally, so it’s no surprise you feel exhausted trying – you’re using the wrong tool for the job!
#### The solution
Get stuff like this—‘important things’—out of your head and into a trusted system. I’ve spoken before about David Allen’s [Getting Things Done](https://amzn.to/42DgBiL?ref=gilespcroft.com), and how in tune it is with the inside-out understanding, so if you were one of the people writing in with this particular problem, maybe it’s time to explore at least *some* sort of similar system?
I have written more on this topic here:
- [The paradox of planning](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-paradox-of-planning/)
- [In praise of (faux) planning](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-praise-of-faux-planning/)
- [Open loops](https://www.gilespcroft.com/open-loops/) ← *especially this one*
- [A trusted system](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-trusted-system/)
…all of which have the same thing in common as the whole of this website: they include simple, common-sense strategies to help you [Think Less and Live More](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/) 😘
(An aside: If you want to peel away an additional layer of this particular problem, ask yourself the question, *“Important to whom?”* … or should I say, *to what??* 📦😉)
---
### *2️⃣ “…I won’t be able to perform at my highest standard”* 📉
Oooh, a juicy one! This was couched in terms of sports performance, but I think it applies to all sorts of activities that can be objectively measured.
#### The solution
This is another I see as being relatively straightforward to tackle, because all we have to do is use the only tool we have at our disposal—[awareness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/can-awareness-be-bad/)—to observe the truth behind our best performances.
When did they occur in the past? What state of mind were we in? Do we generally perform better when we’re uptight, in our heads and overthinking stuff, or when we’re experiencing clarity and relative peace of mind?
🤔
And yet the mind claims [*it’s* the key](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-have-to-get-stuff-right/) to good performance. What tosh! 😆
---
### 3️⃣ *“…the entire world will fall apart!”* 🤪
Ha ha, this one made me laugh – now there’s a mind that’s going places! 😂
I suspect this is a bit of a variation on #1 and it’s tied in with juggling ‘stuff’ in our heads, so in terms of a solution, it’s the same, really.
But it gives me an opportunity to point out what *all* of these have in common:
🚷
The mind trying to take responsibility for jobs it does not do
1. Minds are crap at juggling tasks
2. Minds don’t deliver performance, presence does
3. Minds aren’t responsible for anything beyond [self-referential commentary](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/) and data retrieval (the latter being a [flawed process](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-fallibility-of-memory/) too).
It’s misunderstanding that has us spinning our wheels, not inadequacy.
YOU rock!
🙌🏻
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Why ignoring thought is not the answerThe subtle, powerful difference between ignoring and dismissing thought 🫣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-ignoring-thought-is-not-the-answer/)
Oh god, he’s found another paradox. It’s not really “ignoring” after all, is it?!
### Two things to worry about
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-things-to-worry-about/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T10:42:09.000Z
Yesterday I pointed out [a funny thing that Eckhart Tolle said](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-knowing/) in one of his seminars, and if you've ever spent time listening to audios or watching videos of spiritual teachers (as I have!) you'll note they all have cracking senses of humour.
There's something about the utter nonsense of the human condition—torturing ourselves with [illusions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-wont-believe-your-eyes/)—that invites ridicule.
[Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com), the enlightened Scottish welder who shared his understanding with the world (and you, through these Daily Reminders) was no exception – there's no end to the number of cheesy jokes he drops into his lectures.
Take this one—an Irish proverb he relates—at the [20:54 mark](https://youtu.be/Z-uhTdTAZ3k?si=Zdx6XmH1bPOtr75v&t=1253&ref=gilespcroft.com) of his [Washington Lectures](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#video):
> *“In this world, there's only two things to worry about:*
> *Either you're sick, or you're well.*
> *If you're well, there's nothing to worry about.*
> *If you're sick, there's only two things to worry about:*
> *Either you live, or you die.*
> *If you live, there's nothing to worry about.*
> *But if you die, there's two things to worry about:*
> *You either go to heaven, or you go to hell.*
> *If you go to heaven, there's nothing to worry about.*
> *And if you go to hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends, there's nothing to worry about!”*
😂🤣
It brings to mind this hilarious cartoon from the peerless [Beetle Moses](https://beetlemoses.bigcartel.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com):
[](https://x.com/beetlemoses/status/1868396625917567133?s=20&ref=gilespcroft.com)
First seen on [Twitter](https://x.com/beetlemoses/status/1868396625917567133?s=20&ref=gilespcroft.com) (give him a follow)! Here's [another banger](https://x.com/beetlemoses/status/1872338158496759973?s=20&ref=gilespcroft.com) 😂
👼🏻
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Pointless worryWorry might have a purpose, but I bet it’s not one of the ones you have in mind. 😬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pointless-worry/)
### Not knowing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-knowing/
Last updated: 2026-04-29T06:00:48.000Z
There's a really funny bit of an Eckhart Tolle recording, when, after a prolonged (verging on awkward) silence, he says:
> *“Somebody once asked me, *‘Why do you wait for so long before you start speaking?’**
> *And the true answer of course, is, *‘Because I don't know what to say!’*”*
🤣
It seems so silly, that we should ‘know’ what to do all the time, but oh my word do we NOT like not knowing!! For us humans, it seems like the worst thing that could ever happen to us.
> *“But I don't know what to do!!!”* said every client I have ever worked with, at some point or another.
(Me too, peeps, me too.)
Peace of mind—*and* the solutions we seek—come from getting comfortable with *not* knowing.
> *“And how do I do that, Giles?”* I hear you ask.
It's remarkably straightforward, as I outline in this very, very short video clip:
0:00
/0:36
1×
Lifted from the [Decision-making Video Masterclass](https://gilespcroft.link/decisions/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
See how crucial that is?
It's ***the mind*** that doesn't know, because in the big scheme of things (i.e. that scheme where you are an insignificant, [minuscule dot](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/) in a Universe so vast you can't even *begin* to comprehend its scale and you don't understand even the tiniest *fraction* of how it works) the mind doesn't really know anything.
It *can't* know!
It's [not in control](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/) of things – it's just observing life unfolding before it, and laying down its personal DVD commentary track, making out like it's calling all the shots.
*That's* why it gets so antsy when faced with the unknown. It honestly believes that *it* has to come up with solutions, bless it.
Why not be gentle with it?
Show it some ‘self’-compassion – it's doing its best, after all.
And before you know it, from this more relaxed, open state of mind, life will start offering you solutions.
✨
Giles
### Laying bricks
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/laying-bricks/
Last updated: 2026-04-28T06:00:55.000Z
One thing that minds like to do (a lot) is find meaning. *Everything* has to have a meaning, or a reason, to a mind.
***Everything!***
This makes sense in the outside-in world of an Ego Construct 📦 where—from its perspective—it’s in control of everything, solving problems and managing how you feel.
To a mind, it *really* looks like circumstances are the cause of our feelings. Therefore it’s utterly logical that it should figure out *which* of those circumstances are ‘making you’ feel a particular way, so that it can try and do something about it.
Hence: meaning-making. All the time.
(I’ve said, many a time before – thought is not the enemy, it’s [genuinely trying to help](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trauma-and-triggers/)!)
---
It came up with a client recently. They’d experienced a low-feeling mood that dissipated, leaving behind a much better-feeling mood.
And their mind was *so* earnest in trying make something of it. Was it because of this thing? Or maybe that one? I suppose the reason could have been *that* situation. Hmmm, although maybe it was… etc.
None of this is a problem *per se*, until we start taking *any* of it even remotely seriously.
## Bricklayer mode activated
It’s like each one of those reasons the mind can come up with is like laying a brick. It’s solid. It’s a thing. It’s stable. And if we take it seriously, it *looks* true.
True enough to build on.
Any boy, do minds ever like to build on stuff!! It’s like Bob the Builder’s been let loose in there and wants to construct an elaborate set of rules that will ensure we’re more in control of things like this in the future.
- Down goes a brick: *Oh yeah, it’s probably that, isn’t it! 🧱*
- Down goes another brick: *Well, if it was that, then that means… 🧱*
- Down goes another brick: *And of course, in that case, the thing to do would be to…* 🧱
- Down goes another brick… 🧱 and another… 🧱 and another… 🧱
…until we’ve innocently walled ourselves off from life behind a towering construction of thought-‘logic’ that’s all completely made up and has no actual use (other than to wall us off from life, that’s [happening Now](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-living-life-now/)).
🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱
🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱
🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱
🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱😞🧱🧱 🧱🧱🧱🧱
Much easier to spot the mind laying bricks sooner rather than later, put the trowel down and get on with living.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Email expectationsThe one about how junk mail actually improved things, for once! 📨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/email-expectations/)
Here’s me, getting caught out by the very same thing
### Choice or no choice?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/choice-or-no-choice/
Last updated: 2026-04-27T06:00:16.000Z
Tim Urban, of the popular [Wait But Why](https://waitbutwhy.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) website broke the internet, and society, this weekend, by posing the most infernal of questions:
There was a poll attached. Safe to say it was more divisive than Brexit 🥹😂
It's been worded deliberately this way (he said so afterwards) without further detail, to make it as hard as possible.
And then the internet exploded.
💥
Now, I want to be clear. I don't care one iota whether you're a blue button or a red button person. Seriously. Couldn't give a toss. Because of this:
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us
I love you either way. And I know that *you're* not choosing.
How you *feel* about it (and others) is a product of genes that have been propagated over millions of years, in combination with your conditioning and your experience, i.e. all the stuff that's happened [on your watch](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-innate-wellbeing/#on-your-watch); your past experiences of life, and of death; your current circumstances when asked; the vivid pictures [the mind creates](https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/) when forced to, in this way.
It's like the very purest expression of this, and you simply cannot run from it:
Could this be the best demonstration of the [illusion of free will](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/), ever?
Because do we choose? Really?
🤔
What I've noticed, from literally *hours* of scrolling through responses, arguments, explanations, discussions, rants, diagrams and the like, and also having conversations with close friends, is that you're kind of one or the other—blue, or red—and that's that.
To the degree that if you're anything like me, and you actually took part in the poll, when initially seeing the results, you were probably surprised at the split – *OMG, would you look at that?! Why would anyone vote the *other* way?!* 😮
And I don't think I've seen one example of someone whose position has been genuinely changed by the ensuing discussion, such is the emotiveness—the hard-wired nature—of the topic. (With the obvious caveat of this being social media, where people have very strong opinions that they like to talk about!)
Anyway, aside from people coming after Tim Urban with pitchforks, for having created such unnecessary division in the world, I have found it the most engaging thought experiment I think I've ever come across.
Not to do with *whether* you're red, or *whether* you're blue but from how attached people are to the identity created in the process, and what happens when it [comes under attack.](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/)
The question maybe to ask yourself, when you're musing on this one:
❣️
Can you unconditionally love someone who votes the other way?
I think that says way more about society than some cleverly-designed, but ultimately silly button-pressing thought experiment.
😘
Giles
p.s. If you want to find out the result, to see how it plays out for *your* ‘choice’, you'll have to look it up yourself.
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[This moment right in front of you“The moment in front of you is a gift from creation” \~ Michael A Singer 🌌The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-moment-right-in-front-of-you/)
…includes whether you choose blue or red 🤷🏻♂️
### Helping others: Being present
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-being-present/
Last updated: 2026-05-09T08:29:29.000Z
📑
This is ****Part 3** of a [mini-series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/), that all kicked off when someone asked me, **“How can I help my partner when they’re suffering?”* I thought it might be helpful to lay out some of the basic principles I rely on when sharing the Innate Health understanding, myself.
You can read ****Part 1**, here: [****Two moods in the room**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-moods/)
And ****Part 2**, here: [****Step 1 - Showing up**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-showing-up/)
(This is a little bit of a niche topic, so if you're new, or what I’ve written above makes no sense to you, I recommend going back and reading [****The Journey**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/), which is an excellent starting place, even if I do say so myself ☺️)
We’re looking at the process of sharing in 3 basic steps, and concluded [***Step 1: Showing up***](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-showing-up/) in rather an odd-seeming place where our *need* to share (which is just ego speaking) has pretty much disappeared.
It's ironic that to arrive in the ‘sharing space’ we have to let go the need to share, but there we are. [Paradoxes](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/) abound!
Let's refresh our memory with the sharing diagram we've been looking at:
We may be relaxed, carefree and coming from a place of love, but then of course there’s the other person – where are they?
Chances are, the whole reason you felt the need to share in the first place—to help!—was because they were all caught up in their thinking. But that's not the sharing space, and until they're there, nothing's happening.
But *if* we are ‘showing up’ as we described, coming from a place of love and understanding, then it gives them the space—and the permission, almost—to fall out of their own thinking, and to ‘show up’, themselves.
☝🏻
Until that happens, honestly, I’ve not found much use in continuing to ****Step 2**. It’s why [listening](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-are-you-listening/) is so very, very important.
Listening, without judgement or preconception or the need for anything to be different… that's the key to helping them ‘successfully’ navigate ****Step 1** themselves. ([This video](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-are-you-listening/) goes into more detail.)
And of course there's another way to describe the ‘sharing space’, and that's **present**.
## Step 2: Being present
Again, there are two people involved, and you need that connection, in presence, if anything's going to change. It's [Rumi's field](https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-to-one/), isn't it:
> *“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field.*
> *I’ll meet you there.*
> *When the soul lies down in that grass,*
> *The world is too full to talk about.*
> *Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’*
> *Doesn’t make any sense.”*
And while I'd love to give you a checklist of things to do next, and how to share, I fear that would somewhat miss the point, because as far as I can tell, it's just being together, with all the nonsense stripped away.
That's the space where *all* the good stuff happens, whatever the context. That's actually what's doing the ‘helping’ – not you.
‘You’ (📦) aren't there!
🫥
### The good news
It all means that this is much easier than the mind makes out. The mind says things like:
- 📦🗣️: *They need to change ‘in order for’ everything to be ok,* and
- 📦🗣️: *I need to let them know that they're feeling their thinking, and under all that they have Innate Health*…
…which is all nonsense. Really, it's just two people properly slowing down together (with you taking the lead) and seeing what happens.
What's *likely* to happen: Time slows. Connection is felt. Hearts open. Life flows. Something unexpected is said. Change occurs.
And we've not even got to **Step 3** yet.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Sharing Series - The Daily RemindersSome basic principles to bear in mind when helping others with your understanding of the 3 Principles ✨The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/)
The rest of this mini-series on sharing the Innate Health understanding
### How do you handle mistakes?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-do-you-handle-mistakes/
Last updated: 2026-04-25T08:04:38.000Z
I've made a mistake. A fairly big one – well, there's been an impact, let's say. It was avoidable, and yet there it is!
🤦🏻♂️
I'll get to what it was in a minute, but first… how do you handle these things?
## The inevitability of mistakes
It's funny, minds like to think that there's this sort of gold-standard, mistake-free way of moving through life and the game is to stay as close to that line as possible.
As if there were some kind of badge that gets dished out at the end (or better still, *lots* of badges that get dished out, regularly)!!
And obviously when we look at what's going on here, there's life's happenstance, there's how we're showing up (which is determined by our mood/[level of consciousness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/), moment-by-moment) and then the mind is looking in on all of that, passing judgment and saying things like,
- 📦🗣️ *“Bad!”*
- 📦🗣️ *“Yes, we did well, there”*
- 📦🗣️ *“Don't do that again!”*
- 📦🗣️ *“Poor decision”* … and the like.
And all of that judgement isn't really *us*, or *ours*, it's more like a [recording](https://www.gilespcroft.com/recordings/) of our parents and our teachers, our past, our peers and society's rules etc.
(Some of this stuff is enshrined in law; some of it is common decency; most of it is meaningless nonsense we use to torment ourselves.)
The fact that we *experience* these judgements isn't wrong, or bad. It's just life as a human. It's what unites us – it's going on for every single one of us, yes, even the [Dalai Lama](https://www.dalailama.com/messages/transcripts-and-interviews/barkha-dutt-interview-part1?ref=gilespcroft.com)!
Here's the key:
🔑
It's our relationship ***to** those recordings that's going to determine the sort of life we have.
## Seeing the innocence
I've done some pretty stupid things in my past, and you know what's true of every single one of them?
This 👇🏻
> *“Everyone is doing the best they can, given the thinking they have that looks real to them.”* \~ [Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
It sometimes seems a bit painful to admit, but what's showing up is what's showing up and couldn't be any different. Its [origin was forged](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-moment-right-in-front-of-you/) in the distant mists of the big bang.
Right there, in that moment of ‘stupidity’ you (me, everybody) was doing what made sense.
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us
So what do we do with that?
## Moving on
We've got a saying here at *Casa Croft*, that is sometimes received with a knowing nod and a visible relaxation of the shoulders, and sometimes greeted with flat-out denial and door-slamming.
Neither response makes it any less true:
> *“Accept, and move on.”*
It's like a real *seeing* of that [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) quote above – shit happens, what's done is done, learn from your mistakes, move on.
I saw this playing out with a client, just yesterday. They'd made a mistake, done something a bit daft, narrowly avoided a disaster.
They saw it immediately in retrospect (this is the way), as the mind accessed the archive of its very own [recordings](https://www.gilespcroft.com/recordings/) and piped up with its assessment and its recommendation. (Basically: *Make sure you don't do that again!*)
But what I loved was the reflection, afterwards. We've had a [few sessions together](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals) and bit by bit they're seeing things differently now. To the degree that:
> *“D'you know, I think in the past I'd probably have beat myself up about it for ages afterwards. But this time, I kind of just learned the lesson and got on with my day.”*
🎉
This is the difference. In seeing that we live in a [thought-created perceptual reality](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/) that's a potent mixture of [pure-perception](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-tree/) and meaningless commentary, you get to work with the mind, instead of fighting against it.
And this is true for stuff that's ‘narrowly avoided’ and total and utter disasters that occur (because they do indeed occur).
Same principles. Same thing going on.
So when the mind-recorder pipes up again, with the exact same judgement (or a variation of it), it's ok, it's doing its job, it just doesn't know that you heard it the first time, logged the lesson and are ready to move on.
It's ok then, to [‘ignore’ your thinking](https://www.gilespcroft.com/but-if-i-ignore-my-thinking/).
## The stupid mistake I made
The Daily Reminders do not pay for themselves. I create every single one myself (there's no AI involved). They take huge amounts of time and effort to produce, and nobody's paying me to do it.
I don't run ads, I don't relentlessly try and sell stuff to people, I just aim to share this very simple, but profoundly life-transforming understanding with you all in a way that's accessible, lighthearted and regular. (I don't seem to be able to help myself! 😆)
**But I'm *utterly* dependent on reader-support, to do that.**
Since I opened the website and the Daily Reminder emails up completely for free, I've been asking for donations, which are essential to keep things going.
And you know what?
🔗
**The frickin' link doesn't work, does it?!?!?!?!*
🤨 🤦🏻♂️ 😫
So every time I've asked, at the bottom of each post, for your support, you've not been able to do that. (Thank you to the very kind person who pointed that out to me!! 💝)
It's running-a-business 101, and on that particular measure, I have failed.
But hey ho, it couldn't have been any different and I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I discovered the mistake late last night, rectified it immediately and here I am helping you to move on from your *own* mistakes, by fessing up.
So…
- *If* you like the Daily Reminders and have been impacted by them
- *If* you think their existence is a good thing in the world and should continue
- *If* you'd like to say thank you and support me in producing them regularly, then
[PLEASE DONATE 🎁](https://gilespcroft.link/donate?ref=gilespcroft.com)
*(There's no set amount and if you can't afford it, then for the love of all things good, please don't!!)*
Every single bit of support, however small, is *really* appreciated.
Thank you.
💝
Giles
p.s. Of course, if you want to show your support ***and*** become one of a small gang of folk who meet up regularly, listen to audio versions of the odd Daily Reminder and work through mini-courses of Daily Reminders, then Premium 🔖 is the best way to do that → [Join Premium](https://www.gilespcroft.com/#/portal/account/plans) 🔖
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### “But if I ignore my thinking…”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/but-if-i-ignore-my-thinking/
Last updated: 2026-04-25T07:57:57.000Z
[](#/portal/signup/free)
**“All of your emails hit the mark. Some hit THE spot!*
**This is a good one Giles, very good indeed 👌”*
\~ Cam (Subscriber)
[Get YOUR Daily Reminders ](#/portal/signup/free)
Oh minds, how I do love them.
So keen are they to fight their corner (because they're [in charge](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion-of-control/), yeah?) that they'll do *anything* to justify their input and their worth.
It doesn't bear thinking about – the number of conversations I have had with clients (or more often not-clients, because this one's the mental equivalent of the [Great Filter](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great%5FFilter?ref=gilespcroft.com) – it brings the shutters right down on exploration) that included a variation of a statement that began:
> *“But if I ignore my thinking…”*
\[insert Bad Thing Happening™ here\]
🙄
First on its list of arguments is *“…I won't get anything done!”* which is just *ridiculous*.
The mind says:
> 📦🗣️: *I keep you motivated. I come up with the good ideas. I do all the hard work. I get you to take action.*
The corollary of which is:
> 📦🗣️: *If you stop paying attention to me and doing what I say, then you will be unmotivated, out of ideas, lazy and apathetic.*
But it takes the very lightest of observation to discover that it's actually the *opposite!*
Just think back to, or better still, notice, the next time you have a good idea. It will come to you via the *medium* of thought (because [we can't experience anything else](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/)) but it will have a certain characteristic to it: it'll be new.
You've been batting away at some problem or other—mulling it over, trying to figure it out, brainstorming solutions, trying to find a way forward—and getting nowhere.
And then… inspiration strikes!
😯
It doesn't have to be like a flash of lightning or Moses delivering tablets of stone to you or anything, it's just a fresh take on things. A perspective you'd not seen before.
Now, here's the question that I want you to slow down and answer, honestly:
🤔
Did ‘you’ do that – did ‘you’ come up with it?
Really??
I say ‘honestly’ because it takes a little humility (something the mind is not good at) to relax into the inconvenient truth that no, ‘you’ did *not* come up with that new idea.
One minute it wasn't there, and the next minute it was.
Oh, for sure, you did *loads* of analysis and pondering *before* it happened (and if your mind is anything like mine, you'll have had a fair bit of self-satisfied thinking *after* it happened too), but are you open to the idea that none of that analysis actually *caused* the fresh new idea—something you could call an ‘insight’—to arrive?
😐
In fact, I'm willing to bet that if you *did* turn your attention to this matter and either examine past experiences or be a bit more aware of ongoing situations, you'd notice that ‘good ideas’ tend to happen under a number of commonly-reported situations:
- In the shower
- Waking up/falling asleep
- Driving
- Out in nature
- Engrossed in conversation
- Focused on something creative
…all of which have one thing in common: **you're *not* busy analysing stuff.**
Your mind's *not* fixated on the problem. The mind's not even there! (Certainly not the bit that makes out like it's [driving the bus](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/).)
So when it comes to the *“…I won't get anything done!”* argument, we can see it's actually more like:
> 💖: *Life keeps you motivated. Presence comes up with the good ideas. Wisdom does all the hard work. Taking action is your essential nature.*
And:
> 📦: *If you carry on paying attention to the mind and doing what it says, then you will constantly get in the way of that natural process, immediately stifle good ideas, feel lazy, and remain stuck.*
Which is why it's perfectly ok to ignore your thinking.
And you'll only see this for yourself, when you give it a go.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[“But my mind has been quite helpful recently!”The thing is, it \*would\* say that, wouldn’t it? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/)
More mind-nonsense.
[Can’t make up your mindMaking decisions: when to use ‘Free-flow mode’ 🌊The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/cant-make-up-your-mind/)
The two modes of thinking we have at our disposal.
### Cherokee wisdom
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/cherokee-wisdom/
Last updated: 2026-04-25T22:35:34.000Z
A while ago [I wrote](https://www.gilespcroft.com/always-creating/) that I'd found a book at a friend's house, called [*In Beauty May I Walk*](https://amzn.to/4bnXyyl?ref=gilespcroft.com)*: Words of Wisdom by Native Americans.*
And I'm tempted to get this one tattooed somewhere:
> ***“Listen!***
> ***Or your tongue***
> ***Will make you***
> ***Deaf.”***
> \~ Cherokee saying
Could this be another form of doing [one thing at a time](https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-thing-at-a-time/)?
😶
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[12 Days of Hafiz. Day 6: Out Of The Mouths Of A Thousand BirdsWhat are you listening to? Let Hafiz be your guide. 👂🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-6/)
The ultimate listening poem (with analysis & audio for Premium 🔖 subscribers)
### You can't do it wrong
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-cant-do-it-wrong/
Last updated: 2026-04-22T06:00:08.000Z
While we've got our heads into the idea of sharing the Innate Health understanding with others, I stumbled across this old post of mine, from back when I was running workshops with groups of social care staff.
I had totally forgotten that this had happened!!
😂
---
***May 2022***
Today I showed up for an online workshop I was running for a group, with quite a busy mind. A bit jangly. Feeling a little insecure about how it would go. Unsure about what I would be sharing with them, and what direction it would go in.
In short, I didn’t feel great.
So I did what it often makes sense to do when moving from one activity to another (inviting the group also to do the same): I slowed down, closed my eyes, took a deep breath & grounded myself in the here and now.
Today, however, I heard myself saying the following:
> *“I’m just going to get myself present to what’s about to happen.”* 😂🤣
WTF?!?!
Chutney, tumbling from my mouth! A slip of the tongue that revealed my state of mind. It was such a nonsensical thing to have said, that I instantly fell out of my insecurities, and we were off.
I laughed, asked if anyone had noticed the utter ridiculousness of what I’d just said and it led to a beautiful exploration of the nature of the experience that we’re all having, 24/7/365/lifetime.
> *“Thanks for a great session!”* someone emailed, straight afterwards.
Even when I was ‘making a mess of things’ that’s just a thought-created story I’m believing.
I can’t be separate from that thriving aspect of life. None of us can.
I *am* it. Same for you.
(I’m going to do it again sometime\* and have named the incident, *‘The Incorrect Technique technique’* 😉😆)
Giles
\*I’m not, but life will offer an infinite number of alternatives and that’s what’s so great about it!
---
Nigh on four years later, I can report that while I haven't said anything *quite* this daft again, I have of course been quite up in my head when sat in front of an audience and about to speak.
And the advice-to-self remains the same:
> **Slow down, close your eyes, take a deep breath & ground yourself in the here and now.**
Whoever you're talking to, and whatever the context, they'll thank you for taking a moment.
And you'll know what to say.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Sharing Series - The Daily RemindersSome basic principles to bear in mind when helping others with the 3Ps ✨The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/)
The story so far… (to be continued)
### Helping others: Showing up
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-showing-up/
Last updated: 2026-05-01T15:05:46.000Z
> *“How can I help my partner when they're suffering?”*
It's the question that got this little mini-series started, on how to share the Innate Health understanding with other people, if they're visibly struggling.
☝🏻
Of course this presupposes you've seen something for yourself around the [3Ps](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) that's really helped, so if you've stumbled across this Daily Reminder and that's **not* the case, well then, you can happily ignore this series. 🙌🏻
(If you're new, or remain singularly unimpressed, I recommend going back and reading [The Journey](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/), which is an excellent starting place, even if I do say so myself ☺️)
You may consider this **Part 2** in the series, with **Part 1** being *‘*[*Two moods in the room*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-moods/)*’,* where we talked about the significance of this diagram:
We will be coming back to this diagram a fair bit, because it's so central to the idea of sharing with others.
Finally (!) I should point out that for the next three Daily Reminders on this topic, we'll be re-examining the 3 *‘*[*Necessary ingredients for change*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)*’*, because sharing wisdom with someone else is no different from taking on board new perspectives yourself. So you might like to familiarise yourself with that one, first:
[Necessary ingredients for changeThe three things everybody needs, to get the change they want, whatever it is 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)
Keep things simple, at all costs.
This is what I like about this understanding: it's simple and logical.
And [magical](https://www.gilespcroft.com/logical-and-magical/), too!
✨
## Step 1: Showing up
‘Showing up’ in the context of helping others, has a couple of dimensions to it – theirs, and yours.
### *Them showing up*
Years ago, when my focus was specifically helping people with career change, I'd just started out on the ‘personal development’ journey, and had seen—for the first time, really—the power of self reflection, creative goal-setting and getting out of your own way as being the most effective way of making big life changes.
If you think I'm evangelical now, you should have seen me back then!! Having escaped its gravitational pull myself, I wanted *everybody* to leave the NHS to ‘pursue their dreams’ (LOL) and couldn't understand why people weren't as enthusiastic as I was to do so.
🤦🏻♂️
I remember my mentor at the time—who played such a central role in my life changes that she came to our wedding!—saying, wisely,
> *“Ah Giles, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.”*
Again, I honestly think this was the first time I'd ever come across this notion (I'd led a sheltered, very medical life) and it pissed me right off. I mean, I'd seen how change worked for myself, it was bloody obvious, people said they wanted change, I knew how, why wouldn't they just listen to me?!
😂
Thankfully (for the world) I still had a regular job back then, so wasn't really having that many conversations with people, and this tediously true little aphorism only became real for me when I started properly coaching people from an Innate Health perspective.
Because again, to my dismay, not everybody wanted to hear about that!!!
So I learned the hard way really, bit by bit, as it sank in that everybody is on their own journey, nobody really *needs* to hear about the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com), and *if* someone is going to find their way there, it's going to be on *their* terms, not mine.
(It's one reason why I wrote *‘*[*The Journey*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/)*’* – so that people who *are* thirsty for change can identify where they're at in the process.)
But, all that said, if this person you love is looking vaguely horse-like and they're at least *talking* about [being thirsty](https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-3/), then it would be rude not to point them in the direction of the water, wouldn't it?
And that's where *you* showing up comes in.
### *You showing up*
This itself has a couple of dimensions. And it all comes back to that diagram I shared above – about whether you're both in ‘the sharing space’ (i.e. carefree, rather than insecure). It takes two to tango.
**Firstly**, how are you showing up for *you?*
This is covered in the posts: *‘*[*Two moods in the room*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-moods/)*’* and also *‘*[*Do you know what mood you're in?*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-know-what-mood-youre-in/)*’* and it's absolutely essential to be in tune with this—to calibrate yourself—so that you're sure you're coming from love, not ego.
Because if you're in the head-space—*needing* this change—rather than the heart space (nothing on it) it's very easy to just make matters worse. Nobody likes being preached to, unless they're in church.
Relax. *Need* comes from ego.
**Secondly**, how are you showing up for *them?*
Because this is someone who's struggling, yes? They're sad, or stuck, or angry or disappointed, or feeling like the world is out to get them. Their sense of ‘self’ is really strong, they feel all separate from life (because that's what thought does) and what they *need* from you in that moment is simply:
❤️
****Love and understanding**
If they're going to get into the sharing space with you, this is how they need you to show up. Providing safety. Showing respect. They need to feel like they’re not under attack (an ego that feels under attack is a fearsome beast to contend with)!! 👹
From experience, usually the first part and the second part go hand in hand. Your position softens to such an extent that you see the suffering and you see the innocence, and you can't *help* but show up with genuine compassion.
And you know what else you'll probably notice at this point?
The desire to share or to teach has moved into the background, or gone completely.
Which might seem odd, given the premise of this series of posts. You came here to help, and by the end of **Step 1**, the urge to help has been dispelled.
🤷🏻♂️
But what remains is something far more simple, and useful… and we'll look at that in **Step 2**.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Two moods in the roomHow do we share the Innate Health understanding with those we love? 💞The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-moods/)
****← Part One** of this multi-part series
[Helping others: Being presentThe Sharing Series - Part 3\. What remains when egos are out of the way. 🫥The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-being-present/)
****Part Three** of this multi-part series ****→**
### One thing at a time
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-thing-at-a-time/
Last updated: 2026-04-20T06:00:09.000Z
It’s the beginning of the week and if yours is anything like mine, it’s rammed with stuff that needs doing.
How do we avoid becoming overwhelmed? How do we avoid slipping into despair, or procrastination, or denial?
☝🏻
By doing one thing at a time
This [weekend away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/living-it/) with my daughter really brought that home for me, once again.
The packing, the prep, the organisation, the clothing choices, the food prep, the readying of our steeds, the mitigating for circumstance and weather (all for two people)… to try and look at it in the whole was what led to me losing my patience, or reaching for my phone to procrastinate away the overwhelm.
But to see, *“Well, this thing needs doing, I can narrow my focus to that; commit to doing a really good job on it,”* was profoundly liberating. It released me from the thinking about everything else, brought me back to the here and now, and saw the overall task come one step closer to completion.
---
This idea had already been formulating in my mind, when I fell into the trap again. At the beginning of Day 2, a little tired, under time pressure, I looked at the contents of the bike luggage that had been exploded across the room I was in.
The content of two people’s temporary lives, that needed to be compartmentalised and stashed away neatly inside panniers for the impending departure, was instead scattered *everywhere* – on the bed, on the floor, on the table, on the chair, over the door.
I felt a rising panic as the suddenly overwhelmed mind bleated,
> 📦🗣️ *“But I don’t even know where where to begin!”* 😩
So I began by doing one thing at a time:
- This goes *here*
- This needs to be put with this and goes in *there*
- This might be required on the road, so needs to be near the top of *that* bag
One thing… and then another thing… and then another.
Each a complete task, in its own right. Each exclusively attended to; rewarded with presence.
And then it was all done.
💁🏻♂️
---
You’ll have seen this same situation playing out in your own life, when doing something like tidying up a messy kitchen, or moving house.
But it applies equally to anything: a project, a job, a difficult situation, a recovery, a loss.
The feeling of overwhelm comes from the mind spinning out into the big picture; creating stories that it finds scary.
The reality—and your salvation, in all these situations—is doing…
One
Thing
At
A
Time
💘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Bike luggage is a portalEveryday situations can be transformed completely, with a simple shift in awareness 🔄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/bike-luggage-is-a-portal/)
OMG so much to learn from bike luggage!! 😆
### Living it
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/living-it/
Last updated: 2026-04-19T06:00:44.000Z
A little less talking about it and a little more living it, this weekend.
Some photo memories from Day 1 of our two day tour from Wales, over the Severn Bridge and into Gloucestershire, to stay overnight with friends.
First, the route:
Chepstow – Stonehouse: 41 miles with luggage… thankfully mostly flat.
It was all pain-free: good weather, wind in our favour, fun and japes and no sense of humour failures (from either of us)!
_This post is for subscribers only._
### Feeling the difference
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/feeling-the-difference/
Last updated: 2026-04-18T06:00:07.000Z
I was running a group coaching session for the Daily Reminders [Premium 🔖 crew](https://www.gilespcroft.com/#/portal/account/plans) the other night and among the topics we covered (which included money, parenting & helping others), we spoke about [moods](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/moods/).
Specifically the hallowed process of moving from a ‘low’ one, to a ‘higher’ one.
In my response, we touched on this notion of ‘low’ and ‘high’ and how you can't really appreciate the existence of one, without the other. (Sounds overly philosophical, even as I type it, but it's true!)
And then yesterday, I had my own example.
## Outside-in masterclass
I was in a foul mood in the morning. Snappy, impatient, disheartened, even despairing at one point. It looked pretty bad in there (the same as it always looks, to be fair – low moods are [spectacularly uninteresting](https://www.gilespcroft.com/low-mood-writing/)).
Anyway, the day continued. It was a busy one. My wife's away for a week and I'm taking the child on a 2-day cycling tour, with luggage, which requires *muchos* prep.
🚲 🧳 🧽 🎒 🔧 🥖 🧼 🗺️ 🛞
Plus queuing up Daily Reminders for while we're away.
What's more, I had a full-on Focus Magazine article end-of-day-deadline to boot!!
😳
So I felt overwhelmed and grumpy and basically like life was a bunch of crap that I wanted to have nothing to do with.
Of course I knew it was *‘just my thinking’* (about all of the above) but that's got nothing to do with anything in these situations, certainly not for me, anyway. (Your mileage may vary.)
And then later in the afternoon, having finished writing the article in record time (*and* being really pleased with how it turned out; ego-expectations *exceeded!*) I suddenly noticed what a great mood I was in.
And the mind says:
> 📦🗣️: *“Well, that's because you've written the article. Of course.”*
And it kind of was. But it also wasn't.
It was a lot more obvious from the position of the ‘good’ mood, that I'd been properly caught up in a whole bunch of outside-in thinking about how busy my day was and how unfair that all was, and the mind's predicted consequences of not getting everything done and the like; none of which came to pass.
(It's obvious that unnecessary worry is unnecessary when in retrospect the thing doesn't even happen! 😂)
But it was also obvious that the feeling-good wasn't so much about having *done* the article, but more that all of the low-mood thinking I'd been doing had gone away.
That was the change. That was what I was feeling. The change. The difference.
For which I was profoundly grateful.
☺️
## What difference?
When you read that, you might be forgiven for asking:
*“Well, hang on Giles, if you can't ‘use’ the Innate Health understanding to get yourself out of a low mood, or even properly see that you don't have to worry like that, what difference does it make?!”*
And all I've got for you—here and now, as I write, the next day—is that even though I was in the full effect of that low mood, I knew that's all it was, so I didn't take it too seriously.
- I *knew* it would pass; that's what it means to be human
- I *knew* it didn't have to stop me from doing anything that needed doing
- I *knew* it didn't mean anything about me (or anything else for that matter)
- I *knew* not to waste any time *thinking* about this so called ‘low’ mood, thereby layering it up and making it worse.
And I don't know about you, but that seems like quite a lot of difference to me!
For which I am profoundly grateful.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[“Coming out of it is the high”Some words of wisdom from my favourite front man, Dave Gahan ☯️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/coming-out-of-it-is-the-high/)
It could be worse. You could be coming off heroin addiction.
### Before concept
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/before-concept/
Last updated: 2026-08-12T13:13:34.000Z
[Yesterday's Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-isnt-there-more-research) was a bit epic, but as usual, I've found a simple visual metaphor that represents it for you:
It's the human way. Ego's need to put everything (including itself) into a box of concepts 📦, that it then spends all of its time analysing and researching.
And what do we find *before* concept?
Who we really are. Pure presence. Life itself. Now.
As [Syd](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) once said:
[](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
💟
Giles
_This post is for subscribers only._
### Premium Group Call Recordings 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/premium-group-calls/
Last updated: 2026-08-20T23:12:30.000Z
The full archives of all the previous monthly group video calls, available to Daily Reminders Premium Subscribers.
For each month's video, click on the drop down to get:
1. A list of the topics covered on that call
2. Links to all the relevant **Daily Reminders** that were mentioned, or that speak to the topic in question, along with any other resources I promised you.
👇🏻
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### Why isn't there more research?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-isnt-there-more-research/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T21:33:11.000Z
Last week, in the final\* part of my [4-part mini-series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/) on the nature of insight, I provided some [links to research](https://3pgc.org/evidence-of-impact-2/?ref=gilespcroft.com) that had been conducted around the Innate Health understanding.
If you've had any dealings with the world of academia in the past, and you followed your curiosity, you might have noticed that a lot of the papers were in quite small, somewhat esoteric-sounding journals. And you may have been left wondering why there wasn't more mainstream, traditional coverage?
#### Publications of note
It's fair to say that I **have* had many dealings with the world of academia, and from that perspective, some of my personal favourites (with links to the full PDF versions) are:
- ****A new “inside-out” perspective on general factor p** ([**European Psychiatry*](https://www.cambridge.org/core/services/aop-cambridge-core/content/view/21B5DD290679DCCAA98134773D895E18/S092493380000170Xa.pdf/new%5Finsideout%5Fperspective%5Fon%5Fgeneral%5Ffactor%5Fp.pdf?ref=gilespcroft.com), 2019) - a great commentary piece from a respectable publication, in response to a [landmark paper](https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/epdf/10.1176/appi.ajp.2018.17121383?ref=gilespcroft.com) from the **American Journal of Psychiatry*
- ****A superpower? An educational initiative? Or something else…?** ([**Journal of Public Mental Health*](https://beyond-recovery.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Three-principles-aticle-jpmh-08-2017-0031-FINAL-2017-dec-15-1.pdf?ref=gilespcroft.com), 2017) - Michael Neill & Anthony Kessel with a great overview of the 3Ps in a recognised publication
- ****Innate Health: A Novel Examination of What Explains Well-Being, Prosocial Behavior, and Aggression Among Men Living in a U.K. Prison** ([**Criminal Justice and Behavior*](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/00938548241230472?ref=gilespcroft.com), 2024) - a recent paper from the amazing team at [Innate Health Research](https://innatehealthresearch.org/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
- ****Health Realization Community Coping Intervention for Somali Refugee Women** ([**Journal of Immigrant and Minority Health*](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6908427/pdf/nihms-1033481.pdf?ref=gilespcroft.com), 2019) - great results with PTSD
- ****Three principles/innate health: The efficacy of psycho-spiritual mental health education for people with chronic fatigue syndrome** ([**Spirituality in Clinical Practice*](https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Thomas-Kelley-2/publication/345016260%5FThree%5Fprinciplesinnate%5Fhealth%5FThe%5Fefficacy%5Fof%5Fpsycho-spiritual%5Fmental%5Fhealth%5Feducation%5Ffor%5Fpeople%5Fwith%5Fchronic%5Ffatigue%5Fsyndrome/links/646bbf4f2d0a4c58bef234d2/Three-Principles-Innate-Health-The-Efficacy-of-Psycho-Spiritual-Mental-Health-Education-for-People-With-Chronic-Fatigue-Syndrome.pdf?ref=gilespcroft.com), 2020) - ditto, with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
- ****Reconnect to Innate Resilience: Summary of Results & Impact** ([**My own research*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/resilience/#impact-analysis-report/), 2023) - conducted when working with Social Care staff during the Covid pandemic.
## An obvious answer
I confess, with my medical background and hunger for evidence, when I first came across the 3 Principles, I was a little disappointed by this state of affairs, that is, until I read the book [Sanity, Insanity, and Common Sense](https://www.gilespcroft.com/seeing-things-differently/) (1980).
It is indeed rammed with forehead-slapping common sense and if you ever sit down with it, you'll wonder why it's not obligatory reading for every human that inhabits planet earth. (The world'd be a better place.)
When it comes to research into wellbeing and mental health, they don't mince their words. In a section titled **The Myth of Information**, they say:
> *“More information about what we do not understand is of very limited value.”*
Oh, ok. 😳
> *“In the absence of recognizing that *thinking is the formulator of people's experience*, the mental health professional has gathered more and more information regarding people's *problems*. The study of human behavior comes up with more causes, more types of traumas, more neuroses, more syndromes and more categories and classifications of disturbances \[but\] … the answers that we seek elude us.”*
(There are echoes of the Caspi & Moffit 2018 paper, [*All for One and One for All: Mental Disorders in One Dimension*](https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/epdf/10.1176/appi.ajp.2018.17121383?ref=gilespcroft.com) here – we're busy delving into the *symptoms* of mental distress, without looking at the singular root *cause*: a misunderstanding of the nature of thought.)
They then highlight that every theory of psychology, and all the mainstream, traditional research that is done, is built on a fundamental misunderstanding (the [outside-in illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/)). Which of course will come up with *internally* valid results, but that serve only to further reinforce that misunderstanding, because:
> *“All psychological theories are in themselves systems of thought … We are measuring ourselves with our own theories, models and assumptions.”*
😬🤦🏻♂️
You kind of kick yourself a bit, once you've seen it 🙈
This is why I said, in [the earlier piece](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/): *“Measuring something that, to all intents and purposes, is invisible, is not entirely straightforward!”*
## An illustration
To illustrate, in the book *Sanity, Insanity & Common Sense*, they use the example of the early (pre-Copernican, geo-centric) astronomers, who constructed a vast canon of scientific, objective measurement of the observable heavens. And, as a result, equally abundant works of perfectly ‘correct’ (i.e. internally-valid) theories and models to *explain* the movements of the stars and planets.
So far, so good. It was all accepted knowledge, even if some of the theories got a bit complex, the more detailed they became (for instance, they tied themselves in knots trying to explain why planets like Mars and Saturn appeared to [loop back on themselves](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apparent%5Fretrograde%5Fmotion?ref=gilespcroft.com), as they orbited the earth).
There was only one problem with all this scientific ‘knowledge’ - it was nonsense! The fundamental assumption—i.e. that everything was revolving around the earth, in a **geo-centric** system—was wrong, therefore, no matter how ‘valid’ the research and the theories were, they weren't a reflection of what was *actually* going on.
The study of Astronomy was in its ‘pre-paradigm’ phase, therefore there were a lot of theories but no real understanding.
Once Nicolaus Copernicus demonstrated that we actually live in a ***helio-centric*** system (i.e. all orbiting around the sun), everything became much more simple and the movements of the planets suddenly all made sense.
That's how [Principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-gravity-sometimes-didnt-work/) work, folks!
## A parallel
I'll hand back over to the book authors, Rick Suarez, Roger Mills & Darlene Stewart for that:
> *“The field of psychology is in the same predicament as the early astronomers. Although sincerely attempting to find solutions for psychological problems, the field has been unable to provide simple, consistent answers for human psychological difficulties … A breakthrough has not occurred because the answers to the riddles have nothing to do with the objectivity of our research, but rather with the underlying assumptions of our questions.”*
Until, as a species, we collectively see through the [outside-in misunderstanding](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/#insight-strikes), psychology too will remain in its pre-paradigm phase. Which means there will continue to be a lot of theories, but no real understanding.
😔
But take hope:
> *“The way out of the confusion is simple. It is difficult to grasp only because our present thinking will not point outside of itself … In order to evolve to something beyond what we already think, we must look beyond the information, theories, assumptions and methods that are the form this thinking has taken … setting aside the current psychological frame of reference in order to see something beyond it. At this point, psychology will break through to become the most potent source of mental help that this culture has ever known.”*
I'm *totally* up for that – are you?
💟
\*p.s. There was a sort of bonus, [5th part](https://www.gilespcroft.com/nowhere-to-get-to/), where I outlined one common pitfall to avoid
p.p.s. …and a [6th](https://www.gilespcroft.com/testing-whether-its-true/)! 🤦🏻♂️
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[17 Days: Innate HealthThe Insight Series - Part 4\. Having an embodied experience of who-I-really-am ✨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/)
In which I mention the research. (You can catch the [whole series here](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/).)
### Two moods in the room
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-moods/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T21:36:42.000Z
A client—who's been seeing some changes in the way they approach and react to situations—asked me how they could help their partner when *they* were struggling.
It's the most natural thing in the world, to want to help others (humans are awesome!) and this specific question speaks to the wider issue:
👐
How do we share the 3 Principles/Innate Health understanding with other people?
So I decided to write a few posts on the topic. I've been doing this myself for coming up to 8 years now, with almost 1,000 coaching hours under my belt, so I've seen a little bit around what works and a lot about what doesn't.
I shall give those hungry little left brains of yours some numbered steps to work with in forthcoming posts, but first we have to lay the groundwork by reminding ourselves of one critical fact.
## There are TWO minds in play
Before we get anywhere even *close* to opening those ‘helpful’ little mouths of ours, we need to be *super-*mindful of this.
Because it's not always obvious. And it needs to be, otherwise that good old Ego Construct 📦 of ours is going to be a bit like a bull in a china shop, and it's going to break some things.
Which is the opposite of what we want.
No, we have to be mindful of this:
It's not just them, it's you too. There are TWO moods in the room.
It took me some considerable time to appreciate the need to prioritise my own mental state, above all else in these situations. It's pretty easy when I'm in a formal coaching situation—it's my job!—but for general, day to day pointing of loved ones to their innate health, it's way too easy to be coming from ego, instead of love:
- 📦🗣️ *If only they could see they're feeling their thinking right now, it would really help them* **(= Ego)**
- 📦🗣️ *They're so caught up in their thinking right now, I should point that out!* **(= Ego)**
- 📦🗣️ *They've lost sight of their innate wellbeing, I want to show them they're ok* **(= Ego)**
- 📦🗣️ *This is just making mountains out of molehills – can't they see it's all just thought?!* **(= Ego)**
- 📦🗣️ *This is impacting me, us, everything! It's time they saw something differently* **(= Ego)**
See what I mean? You could almost say that if you feel like you have a strong urge to share the 3Ps in a situation, that's exactly the time *not* to! Because there's a strong chance you'll *both* be in the ‘head’ space, rather than the ‘heart’ space, and as you'll know from your own experience, people don't tend to have insights when they're all up in their head.
🤷🏻♂️
I think the key word in the diagram above, is ‘carefree’.
📖
****Etymology**: Insecurity **(Lat.)* \= **in* (not) + **se* (without) + **cura* (care)
I shall revisit the topic in the coming days, with some more pointers, but in the meantime, I shall leave you with some heartfelt advice I received myself, back in the early days of coming across the 3Ps and wanting to ‘help’ everyone in my life:
> ***How you're being (and the feeling you're coming from) is going to be a far more persuasive form of communication than anything you say.***
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Do you know what mood you’re in?Because if you do, you’re winning 🙌🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-know-what-mood-youre-in/)
Step 0 of a 3-step process 😉
### The gravitational pull of a mood
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-gravitational-pull-of-a-mood/
Last updated: 2026-04-14T07:17:17.000Z
A while ago, I wrote something about the power of realising [what mood you are currently in](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-know-what-mood-youre-in/), especially when you’re interacting with someone else.
Because there’s this annoying, somewhat destructive paradox that when we’re *in* a low mood—cross, fed up, taking things personally—it really, *really* looks like that’s the time to be making some changes.
After all, we can see what the problem is—it’s this situation, or this person!—so it would be negligent of us to just ignore that, wouldn’t it? We’re *obliged* to try and change it/them, surely? In order to make things better?
And of course, as you know from experience, lashing out, or ‘making rash decisions’ in the heat of the moment has a tendency to just make matters worse.
## Why does this happen?
It’s another somewhat frustrating aspect of this being-human thing, that when we get hoodwinked by the outside-in illusion (i.e. the false belief that anything *other* than thought-in-the-moment could make us feel a particular way), we’re quite likely to get sucked even deeper into it.
It has a gravitational pull of its own.
🪐
The **further* into the outside-in misunderstanding we go, the **easier* it is to make it worse.
We will *never* be able to think or reason our way out of a low mood… ***because we’re in a low mood!***
A low mood—being cross, fed up, taking things personally—is simply a signal that we’ve become innocently attached to thought. The *content* of that thought doesn’t matter (I can recommend **not** digging around, to try and figure it out, because that’s another sure fire way to make it *much* worse!) – the mood is just telling us that this is what’s going on.
- Thought has solidified into something more true than it is…and we’ve not noticed
- Ego identity has become ‘[real and true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/)’… and it’s going unquestioned
- It *looks* like we’re [under attack](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/) and we need to defend ourselves… when it’s just a [mirage](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mirage/).
Which is why the key is to be aware of our feeling state—you can depend on feelings!—and step away when we need to. Give all that apparent solidity a chance to dissolve again.
We’ll see the situation with much more clarity, once it has.
🔑
****Key Message**: Feelings are the best, and ONLY guide you need.
As Linda & George Pransky put it in their excellent [relationships book](https://amzn.to/3OjYn2g?ref=gilespcroft.com):
> *“Arguments can be tricky because they can feel constructive, like you’re working through a difficult situation or solving an issue. But, when you feel your intensity rising and feel compelled to make your point, or get the last word in, this is a built-in warning system, that you need to do the opposite, stop, and take a break from the conversation.”*
The good news is that as soon as you spot this happening, you’re already on your way out of it.
🚀
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Do you know what mood you’re in?Because if you do, you’re winning 🙌🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-know-what-mood-youre-in/)
### Illusion of control
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion-of-control/
Last updated: 2026-04-13T06:00:31.000Z
I spotted this meme online, and just couldn't resist tinkering with it:
0:00
/0:18
1×
See that train? That's you, that is.
Life's living you. Breathing you. Moving you. Guiding you.
Ego is [observing and commentating](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/), making out like it's in control.
The original (without the captions I added) is a popular video online – people find it funny.
The big question is: can you see the machinations of your mind as being just as funny?
🤔
Giles
### Related
[The bus driverThis is your bus. You’re in charge and you’re doing all the driving. Aren’t you? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/)
### Nowhere to get to
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/nowhere-to-get-to/
Last updated: 2026-04-12T06:00:42.000Z
I’m reflecting on the recent [mini-series I published](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/), about the nature of insight. It was a behind-the-scenes look at the series of events and realisations that ultimately led to the creation of the Daily Reminders and all the work I do.
If you missed it (there were four parts), or have saved them up for a bit of leisurely weekend reading, I’ve pulled them all together for you, here:
[Insight series - The Daily RemindersThe story of what happened when I was introduced to the Innate Health understanding, and what it means for you 💝The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)
## Not a destination
Now, I know what minds are like, so there’s an important caveat that needs stating clearly. (You can think of this as **Part 5** of the series.) Because a mind could quite easily have read all of that 👆🏻 and concluded:
> 📦🗣️: *Right. I hear you. There’s something I’ve not seen here—some big insight to have—so we’d better get to work on that, hadn’t we? Because when we *do* have that insight, like the ones Giles mentioned, then everything will change. Just like it did for him. Hmmm… what can I read, or listen to next, that’s going to help?*
Monkeys, they are. Monkeying little monkeys, I tell you!
🐒🧠🐒🧠🐒🧠🐒
This whole having-insights malarkey is not about some *state* you ‘achieve’, because what I described was literally just an *experience* I had, nothing more.
It’s like I’d written a series of four posts about a really nice ice cream I had that one time, and it blew my mind. ([Joe’s](https://www.joes-icecream.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com), Swansea, BTW… and yes, I keep going back for more, whenever I’m in the vicinity.)
Don’t let the mind confuse the *experience* with the underlying principles. You can hanker after an experience (or ice cream), but it’s fleeting. Always. It passes and the mind body moves on to the next experience.
But the underlying principles are constant. They just *are*. What had me being so surprised and shocked and reassured and elated (all experiences, all fleeting) was realising the colossal, yet frankly boring, simplicity of that.
> *Oh! This is just how it works. I hadn’t fully appreciated that before!* 🤦🏻♂️
🔑
****Key Message**: PRINCIPLES are:
1\. Constant – *they're always in play*
2\. Explanatory – **they explain past situations & behaviours*
3\. Predictive – **they predict the behaviour of something in the future*
## The gravity comparison
I’ve used the [metaphor of gravity](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-gravity-sometimes-didnt-work/) before, to get us into the right head-space for what’s going on here, because it’s such a close fit.
What happened over those [17 Days](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/), is the equivalent of starting to do some open-minded exploration into how and why cups without lids can hold water, or what keeps that very thin layer of life-sustaining oxygen and nitrogen from just floating off into space.
And then someone pointed out how gravity worked to me, prompting the insight: *Oh! This is just how it works. I hadn’t fully appreciated that before!* 🤦🏻♂️
(Don't even need to be an expert in gravity—I don't understand it *really*, do you?—just have to know it's a thing.)
Now, if I'd been really *fretting* about the effects of gravity beforehand, and trying all sorts of tools and techniques to try and *manage* my experience of gravity (all innocently without understanding what was going on), then when it was pointed out to me that:
- there's this thing that we've labelled ‘gravity’, and
- it works all the time, and
- I don't have to *do* anything…
Well, I might feel quite relieved.
Potentially even surprised, shocked, reassured and elated, for a bit. And then I'd go about my business, same as before.
Gravity always *was* working, it always *would* be, and I could *completely* depend upon it. To all intents and purposes, it had nothing to do with me, other than the fact that I live under its effects. (Being aware of gravity doesn't stop my foot from hurting when I drop something heavy on it, yeah?)
But any fretting I'd been doing, or gravity-management techniques I'd been trying (maybe [sellotaping money to my desk](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-gravity-sometimes-didnt-work/), ‘just in case’ it floated away) wouldn't make any sense any more – they'd just [go away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/) on their own.
## Already ok
Everything I mentioned in that series, was simply the slow realisation that I was already ok. I always had been, and I always would be. In spite of anything the mind might say; no more complicated.
And it's the same for you too, because it's the same for **all* of us.
😎
****There's nowhere to get to, because you're already here.**
How cool is that?
✨
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
If you've done all the exploring, the reading, the listening, the watching and you **still* feel like you're stuck, then just doing more of the same isn't going to amount to a hill of beans (sorry).
It's probably time for some ****1:1 support**, which is what I do, bringing out hidden beliefs and helping you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Is more, better?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-more-better/
Last updated: 2026-04-11T06:00:06.000Z
It's quite a seductive promise, isn't it: ‘more is better’.
But this delicious quote from Lynne Twist (author of *‘*[*The Soul of Money*](https://amzn.to/47TDn9n?ref=gilespcroft.com)*’*) kind of sticks a pin in it. She says:
> *“When we buy into the promise that more is better, we can never arrive. Wherever we are, it is not enough...because more is better.”*
🤯
I remember the first time I heard this quote and it just stopped me dead in my tracks; something I relate in this little video clip, lifted from my [Video Masterclass](https://payhip.com/gilespcroft/collection/video-masterclasses?ref=gilespcroft.com) on the topic of Money.
0:00
/1:53
1×
Just let that sink in, because it's something that I think a lot of us (me included!) just take for granted… and of course it's ‘I'll be happy when…’ in another disguise.
Could seeing the truth in this be the difference between a life of suffering, and a life of ease & grace?
💟
Giles
### Related
[I’ll be happy when…Four words that ruin lives… and yet we don’t even notice 😩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)
Spotting yourself doing it is half the battle.
### The sun is always shining
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-sun-is-always-shining/
Last updated: 2026-04-10T06:00:54.000Z
The recent autobiographical series I wrote on the nature of insight was quite the undertaking (nigh on 10,000 words – a novella)!
In case you missed any of the instalments, they're all collected together here, now:
[Insight series - The Daily RemindersThe story of what happened when I was introduced to the Innate Health understanding, and what it means for you 💝The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)
Settle in for a rollercoaster journey of insight
It was only *after* writing it that I realised it too fitted into the structure of ‘[the journey](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/)’ I take my clients and groups on – I am nothing if not consistent!
😂
Anyway, you're probably as exhausted from reading it as I am from writing it, so let's have ourselves a day off shall we?
And remind ourselves that these basic principles behind life—that I splurge so many words on—are *so* simple, that it's possible to sum up in one cartoon:
[](https://www.facebook.com/nathanwpyle2/posts/pfbid02SuiN7DpzaKe93usXaqJkFS1jLY6Us4LNGtYCD1icJ15LEFVcxFvny5Rh55rF1k1Al)
[Nathan Pyle website](https://www.nathanwpyle.art/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
💟
Giles
### Related
[CloudsOne of the best metaphors for the workings of the mind 🌤️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/clouds/)
### 17 Days: Innate Health
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T16:38:04.000Z
📑
This is ****Part 4** of a four-part [series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/), detailing the insights I had when I first came across the Innate Health understanding, how those insights happened, and what it means for you.
You can read ****Part 1**, here: [****The lead-up**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/)
****Part 2**, here: [****Thought realisation**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/)
And ****Part 3**, here: [****Implications**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-implications/)
A common question, usually when being introduced to the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) for the first time, or after having had some insights around the omnipresence of Innate Health and wanting to share it with others, is:
> *“Where's the evidence?”*
We've been brought up on a diet of science and research and randomised controlled trials, and if you go anywhere near organisations that want a return on their investment, ‘evidence’ is the *lingua franca*, so it's a fair enough question, really. It's one I would ask!
🤓
The good news is, there's plenty out there, if you know where to look. Admittedly, a lot of it is in smaller journals (measuring something that, to all intents and purposes, is invisible, is not *entirely* straightforward!) but there have been some fairly rigorous trials of the 3 Principles, with occasionally remarkable results.
*(You can also read some of* [*my *own* research*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/resilience/#impact-analysis-report/) *I conducted when working with Social Care staff during the Covid pandemic. I used an Innate Health approach to support people who found themselves in the most challenging circumstances you could imagine, which led to chart-topping results:* [*gilespcroft.com/resilience*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/resilience/)*)*
The reason I'm telling you all this, is because if you read some of the research papers—especially the many that have been penned by [Professor Tom Kelley](https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Thomas-Kelley-2?ref=gilespcroft.com)—you'll see the repeated mention of *two* fundamental insights it's possible to have, when exploring these principles behind our experience of life:
1. **Thought recognition**
2. **Innate health**
Those two aspects get pointed to over and over again in the research, because everything else—all the bazillion other insights we could have—is just a variation on the theme of those two.
And it makes sense in a way, because really that's all that's going on! That's the experience that *every* human being is having, boiled down to one of its most simple, straightforward descriptions. It’s the alchemy of the psychological and the spiritual that brings it all to life for us, in each moment that comes along.
It's why I created the ‘stick man’ diagram I so often share with you:
From reading the [previous](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/) [two](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-implications/) Daily Reminders in [this series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/), you may have noticed that pretty much the entire discussion, and the insights I had, were centred on the former – on thought realisation. That’s understandable, because it’s the most visible aspect of our experience.
The psychological, ‘human’ component of our day to day existence is the most obvious, it’s what gets talked about all the time, and it’s what gets researched (usually to the exclusion of all the spiritual, ‘being’ aspects of our experience).
But when the mind gets out of the way entirely—however briefly—one gets a glimpse of what lies underneath/before/outwith the separate psychological experience… and on Day 17 of this little adventure of mine, again, completely unbidden, that’s exactly what happened for me.
🔑
****Key Message**: Who you really are is BEFORE thought.
## Back to the conference centre
Every year, once a year I got invited to speak at a weekend careers conference for medical staff. It was largely a place for medics to figure out what specialty they wanted to go into, or where in the country (or world) they'd like to work, with tons of stands promoting their location/specialty.
And there were talks, all aimed at succeeding or choosing or managing workload. I'd been delivering pretty much the same talk for 12 years. It was popular, and it was slick. I usually called it something like *“What if it's not for me? 10 Principles of Career Change”* or the like, and given how many people were looking to make *some* sort of change, it was always very well attended and got great feedback.
I absolutely *loved* doing it – I felt truly alive, up there on stage, sharing everything I'd learned and experienced and all the insights I'd had about the process of change (although I was far *less* confident talking 1:1 with people, about their individual career situations, something I've [written about previously](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inner-vs-outer-feelings/)).
Anyway, this year was different, because this year I was ‘launching’ my coaching practice at the conference, too 🙌🏻
I'd [had Life Coach training](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/#looking-in-a-new-direction), racked up a fair few hours of unpaid 1:1 work, had invested in the creation of a website, had business cards printed and now I was ready to capitalise on all those people looking for 1:1 support around changing their careers. I'd cleared my diary for a full week after the conference, to make space for the inevitable conversations, and when I showed up in London, I was just about as happy as I could be.
This was a full week after the [ballet-shoe-thought-realisation](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/#the-lost-ballet-shoe) episode, and the [insight that landed](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-implications/#career-change-happens-within/) hot on its heels – that people didn't *have* to leave their jobs to be much happier *in* them. My newly-clear, really quite focused mind was practically fizzing with enthusiasm and opportunity and I was living my best life.
(In my head.)
The conference always ran over two days, so I got to deliver the exact same talk to two different audiences on both the Friday and the Saturday. And on Friday 19th October 2018, some time around 3.15pm, you'd have found a smiling, relaxed Giles, sitting in the speaker area, ready to go out there and change the world.
Little did I know what was about to happen.
## Talk #1: An unmitigated disaster
Things started to go wrong when an AV technician burst into the room, saw me and ran over, saying, *“You do know you're supposed to be on in two minutes, don't you?!”*
😐😳😲🫣😱
I did not. I had been *so* relaxed and *so* sure of myself—so present! (I thought)—that I had somehow got the wrong start time in my head, believing I had another half an hour before I was due to speak.
Grabbing my stuff, I *sprinted* to the room and strode up to the front, apologising as I went, while the technician followed in my wake, attaching microphones and various technical paraphernalia about my person.
I had been *super*\-chill and now I was *super*\-freaked out. I felt like such an idiot.
As I started talking, the full force of all I'd realised in the previous couple of weeks was *bursting* to get out, but I was *so* rattled that none of it seemed to make any sense any more; certainly not in a way that I could easily articulate.
Or at all, for that matter.
What with websites and insights and business cards and travel and podcast-listening and company setup and the like, I'd not had the opportunity to sit down with my slick, well-worn *10 Principles of Career Change* presentation and really consider how I might do it differently, in light of my fresh perspective.
😑
It pains me now, to write what I'm about to write, because the Giles Ego Construct 📦 does **so* like to be seen as knowing what it's doing. But between you and me, I can see now that rather naively I thought that all I had to do was ‘be present’ and that meant I would be able to wing it, and it would turn out brilliantly.
🤦🏻♂️
Properly flustered and trying desperately to somehow interweave all of my new insights into the pre-existing structure of a decade-old talk (that had a tendency to over-run even when I performed it flawlessly) I proceeded to deliver the most confused, stumbling, incoherent mess of a talk I think I have *ever* delivered in my life.
At one point I looked down at the front row and saw a couple of people idly scrolling on their phones and remember wishing the ground would open up and swallow me. It was *terrible.* I wanted to die.
At the end, when I used to encourage people to sign up to my mailing list on my iPad (Hi, if you're still here! 👋🏻) and take individual questions while I packed up, instead of the usual long queue, I could have counted the number of interested folk on one hand.
So on Friday 19th October 2018, some time around 6.15pm, you'd have found a frowning, utterly dejected Giles, travelling across London back to his digs, wondering how it could all have gone *so* wrong.
😔
## Second bite at the cherry
I got a fairly early night that night. Initially, I'd started to re-write my entire presentation but was so physically and emotionally drained I gave up quickly and only really managed to edit the first, introductory slide, that displayed a list of what the talk *was*, and was *not* about, before abandoning it, for bed.
Setting in stone the [insight that I'd had](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-implications/#career-change-happens-within) a week previously, I had added a single bullet point line to the **What this talk is *not* about** column:
- **How to leave medicine.**
That was pretty much it! 😂 I'd had a bit of back and forth, messaging Jamie on Twitter for advice and support, and felt eternally grateful that I was going to get a second bite at the cherry, the next day.
I mean, whatever would happen, it couldn't be much *worse.*
Keen to do *anything* to avoid repeating the previous day's fiasco, I turned up to the room where I was due to present, a full hour in advance.
😇
There were two doctors sat there in the big empty room and it occurred to me that since I had the label of ‘coach’ now (not just ‘speaker’), and was supposed to be launching my coaching practice this weekend, that I should go and talk to them.
Being polite and asking where they were based and what had brought them the length of the country to the conference, they laughed in unison and replied,
> *“You!”*
They'd heard great things about my talk (from past years, obviously; not the previous day's car crash) and were both interested in doing something outside of medicine, but didn't know where to start. I said if they were up for it, since there was plenty of time, I could give each of them a little laser coaching session, there and then.
They very much were, and after asking the first to let me know what was going on for her, I started to listen.
## Listening as a catalyst
I talk about listening a fair bit—all [3 Principles](https://www.3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) teachers talk about listening a lot!—because it's so important. The soft flute of wisdom & intuition speaks *so* quietly, and is so easily drowned out by the horns & percussion section of chattery thought, that listening with nothing on your mind feels a bit unusual at first, and is a bit of an art form.
But boy, [does it deliver](https://www.gilespcroft.com/listening-for-performance/).
So as I was listening to this doctor telling me about her career situation and dreams, I said very little (the odd *“Go on”* or *“What else?”* to keep things moving) and was very aware of *not* listening to what was inevitably popping up in my head:
- 📦🗣️: *Ooh, that happened to me too*
- 📦🗣️: *Oh, I know what book I should recommend for that*
- 📦🗣️: *You should let her know about so-and-so; they'd be a really useful contact for her*
- 📦🗣️: *She should probably do this, that or the other, to resolve that*
- 📦🗣️: *Hold that thought—or better still, say it now—otherwise you'll forget…*
…and dozens of other keen, ‘helpful’ bits of mind-chatter that were vying for my attention. But I let each one slide on through, without latching on to *any* of them, as I continued to listen deeply, fully present to this other human.
It's amazing what happens when you give someone the gift of presence, ‘allowing them the space’ to speak freely, and reflect. She was realising new things—fresh perspectives on her situation—just from being listened to, it was quite extraordinary. I hadn't said anything of substance!
And when it was obviously my turn to respond, given everything I'd just experienced in that wonderful space of connection ([Rumi's field!](https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-to-one/)), what I heard coming out of my mouth was a total surprise to me, and also exactly what she needed to hear.
Wisdom speaks, when we allow it the space to emerge.
I was a bit flabbergasted, to be honest with you, as this was the first time I'd really put this to the test in a real-world situation with someone genuinely seeking careers-help. And what I'd said, or reflected, or drawn out of her was *so* much more powerful than anything I could have planned, with my intellect.
I checked that we were done for now, and asked the second doctor what was going on with *her*… and blow me, if the same thing didn't happen again!
From pure presence—just letting all preconceptions, judgements and ideas for ‘advice’ slide on through—came beautifully contextual wisdom. Two lives had changed, in front of my very eyes.
It was bloody amazing!
😲
A light tap on the shoulder from an AV technician alerted me to the fact that the room had pretty much filled up behind us (I hadn't noticed – I'd been swimming in the Now with these two doctors), and looking at my watch I saw that I had just a few minutes before I was due to start.
But what came next couldn't have been more different from the Day 1 talk.
## Talk #2: Record scratch moment
Feeling profoundly affected by the experience I'd just had, relaxed and loose, I introduced myself and put up my first slide, smiling as I noticed the new bullet point: *‘This talk is not about how to leave medicine.’*
> *“Oh, look at that!”* I heard myself saying. *“Ha! That bullet point only appeared in my presentation late last night, and it's because of something I saw really deeply for myself, just the other day. You see, strange as it may sound, and whatever you may believe, you do not have to leave your job, or even change it for that matter, to have a completely different experience of the workplace…”*
I trailed off, and stood in silence. It was like a door to a new life had opened in front of me, and I was considering it.
🚪
I saw that a few minutes had already passed, and I'd not even started my *10 Principles of Career Change* presentation – the one that people had come from afar, to see!
I instinctively knew that to carry on with that old talk—a repeat of yesterday—was suicide, even though that's what I was here to do. And then almost simultaneously I remembered that I had some really great recordings of it, from past years. Aha, problem solved!
I had permission. I stepped through the door, and in doing so, heard myself saying,
> *“I'm really sorry. I'm not going to deliver the talk you've all come here to see today. I have a great recording of it that you're welcome to have, so you won't miss out. I can share it with you, if you come see me afterwards and leave me your email. But I have something far more important to tell you today, so I'm going to do that, instead…”*
I put down my presentation notes, and stood quietly, looking out into a sea of expectant faces.
> *“Just give me a moment, I don't know what I'm going to say, yet.”*
😳
## Death and rebirth
Now, it's hard to convey just what a big deal this was. Because the Giles that showed up to those conferences—hell, to life itself!—was a very well-prepared kind of guy. He liked to be in control.
I'd delivered this talk so many times, that I knew when to expect laughs, when to slow down, which bits I could skim across if I was running out of time and which bits were likely to have the room fall into a stunned silence.
The slides had been meticulously crafted and were beautifully animated. Their content was inspiring and yet minimal enough to allow me flexibility in telling stories around them. I'd even got my notes down to a fine art, and knew the exact moment to move each slide forward, for maximum impact.
Ever since learning how to present patient histories on ward rounds, I had never in my *life* given a talk without a *ton* of preparation.
And here, in front of 100 people waiting to hear me speak, I'd just torn up the script and cast myself into the unknown. (If you'd told me in advance that I was going to do that, I'd have been on a plane to a different continent!!)
Standing there, my physiology was going absolutely haywire. I could barely hear anything for the slamming of my heart in my ears. I could feel sweat trickling down my back; could *taste* adrenaline… and yet, at the exact same time my mind was silent and I had never felt more calm, more centred or more safe in my *entire* life.
The profound, powerful experience I'd had listening to the two doctors, just minutes before, had simply moved to the front of the stage, where I listened for what needed to be said. It all seemed so obvious. So natural. So right.
I began to speak.
---
I have no idea what I said during that 45 minutes. I always used to record myself when I spoke (for training & quality purposes 😉) but I discovered later that the dictaphone in my jacket pocket had magically switched itself off. Honestly, I'm glad.
➤ What I do know was that in spite of not having prepared one single sentence, I felt *carried* through that talk, as if life held me in its loving embrace, and I was just its mouthpiece for that moment.
➤ I know that the atmosphere in that room was *electric*. (I had people coming up to me for the rest of the day, telling me that they had never witnessed anything like it before.)
➤ I know that what was delivered was perfectly contextual to what people had come for: it was still about *What to do if you think it might not be for you*, and it was still about career change, it just wasn't any of the old material.
➤ I know that insecure thought reared its head every now and again during the talk, but that it was so obviously not-me—just a conditioned mind talking—that it was easy to let it slide on through, while I carried on being present to the audience.
➤ And I know that by the end of that experience, I knew—with absolute certainty—that *whatever* happened in my life, for the rest of my days as a living breathing human, I would be ok. I knew that who I actually was—the spiritual essence of being, that preceded thought—could not be harmed.
➤ And I knew this:
🔑
****Key Message**: Separation from the Oneness of life is just a temporary thought-construct. (i.e. Yes - we **are* all ONE)
The old Giles died up on that stage and life has not looked the same, since.
In a bizarre twist, it also happened to be my birthday.
Or my [re-birthday](https://www.gilespcroft.com/six-years-old/), as I now think of it.
Best birthday present **ever.* They had to kick me out at the end of the day – still talking to people!
## Series Conclusion
This has been just 1 out of more than 8 billion possible ways of brushing up against our True Nature – everybody's different, and at the same time, we're all exactly the same. I think that's what I wanted to show you: how normal it all really is.
Looking back to the beginning of this [series of Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/), I also wanted to let you know:
> *“just how accessible change is. How available. How anything can happen, even when we're not expecting it to (in fact, precisely when we're not expecting it)!”*
And I hope you can see that across all of these strange and wondrous happenings, I didn't really *do* anything but show up, be present, and be willing to be wrong about stuff; remaining open to things being different.
None of it was planned, and nothing was forced, but you can see that action *was* taken, following the insights. That ‘door’ I stepped through, up on stage… it doesn't feel like I really had a choice, but at the same time, there *was* hesitation; there *was* a flicker of fear. I'd just had enough of living life that way, and it made sense to step through, to something new.
And that's available to each and every one of us – you too.
So if there's any ‘advice’ I'd give you, then it would be the same thing I've been saying for years: don't take my word for it, but [get your own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/).
Insight without action just leads to the dreaded ‘intellectual understanding’, so today, given whatever it is you've *seen* around the 3 Principles—whatever it is you *know* to be true—tell me, what action are ***you*** open to taking?
With so much love
💖
Giles
p.s. Remember: *Listen* ♥︎
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Insight series - The Daily RemindersThe story of what happened when I was introduced to the Innate Health understanding, and what it means for you 💝The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)
All four of the articles from this mini-series
[Get your own evidenceUsing some basic IF/THEN logic to completely change our lives 🚀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/)
Your. Next. Step.
### Outside-in perils
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/outside-in-perils/
Last updated: 2026-09-03T20:50:58.000Z
A little excerpt for you today from Ankush Jain's love letter to the coaching profession, [*Awakening the Coach Within*](https://amzn.to/4cuaZNv?ref=gilespcroft.com).
His entire practice, like mine, is built on the foundations of the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) understanding, and he makes no apologies for repeatedly coming back to its most fundamental premise in the book:
🔑
****Key Message**:
➤ ****100%** of our feelings come from (the Principle of) Thought
➤ ****0%** of our feelings come from our circumstances
The reason he (and I) get away with repeating this so often is because us humans are hard wired to see it the other way round.
Somewhere along the way, our internal software evolved to see our experience as happening *to* us (rather than *through* us) and hey presto, it still *really* looks that way!
And since you [can't not see an illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-wont-believe-your-eyes/), we very innocently fall for it (I fall for it), every day:
Which is fine—it's *the* most human of traits—but when we're lost like that, for protracted periods, it *does* have consequences.
😬
And that's what Ankush puts his finger on so eloquently with this little paragraph I read today:
> *“If we associate our feelings with objects, people and circumstances, we often try to control or chase things in our lives which have no bearing on our well-being or our happiness.”*
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 ouch it burns
I did this for many, many years, again, completely innocently (it's *all* innocent – give yourself a break)!
It led to me failing to fully commit to things like careers and relationships, because whenever the shine wore off, I would always place the responsibility for my disillusionment onto my circumstances, and of course then it was only natural that I would try to ‘fix them’ or just swap them out, by moving on to [something (or somebody) new](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-a-song-lyric-taught-me-about-goals/).
But in a way, I'm glad.
Because *without* all that experience—without all that observing of how *not* to find contentment in life—I'm not sure the 3 Principles would have had the impact they did, when I stumbled across them, nigh on 7 years ago.
🤷🏻♂️
That ‘stumbling’ is a journey that I've been documenting recently in a series of Daily Reminders entitled ‘[17 Days](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)’ that you can catch up on, using the link below, if you're curious.
The final part—which addresses what happens when we have a moment of ‘seeing through the veil’ of thought—is up next.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Insight series - The Daily RemindersThe story of what happened when I was introduced to the Innate Health understanding, and what it means for you 💝The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)
Catch up on the full series to date.
### Already great
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/already-great/
Last updated: 2026-04-07T06:00:05.000Z
This made me laugh:
[](https://wondermark.com/c/1583/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Link to original comic: [https://wondermark.com/c/1583/](https://wondermark.com/c/1583/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“I've got everything I need! I have YouTube and my room and all my stuff”*
It's my daughter!
😂🤣
But here's the thing:
- *You're* already ‘good now’
- *You* can't ‘better yourself’
- *You* can enjoy being you, ‘right now, right here’
- *You* are ‘already great’.
Just ignore what those pesky grown ups are trying to get you to do.
😜
Giles
### Related
[Just in case you needed to hear this todayMy favourite bit of my one of my favourite Hafiz poems 🧡The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-in-case-you-needed-to-hear-this-today/)
You're already exactly where you need to be 🧭
### 17 Days: Implications
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-implications/
Last updated: 2026-09-07T20:30:34.000Z
📑
This is ****Part 3** of a four-part [series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/), detailing the insights I had when I first came across the Innate Health understanding, how those insights happened, and what it means for you.
You can read ****Part 1**, here: [****The lead-up**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/)
And ****Part 2**, here: [****Thought realisation**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/)
There's a conversation I have [shared with you before](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-hope-of-being-wrong/), between Jamie Smart and his friends Jan and Chip Chipman, who worked personally with [Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com).
They'd been really struggling with their relationship—on the verge of splitting up—before they were pointed in this direction and had some insights of their own.
And within that conversation, there's a very interesting statement from Chip, about what happens *after* we see something around the Innate Health understanding, as happened to me, when I [found my daughter's lost ballet shoe](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/#the-lost-ballet-shoe) and had a strange realisation of my own.
Here's what Chip has to say about the process of change, within their relationship, after he'd realised for himself that our entire experience of life comes from within, and is made of Thought:
> “Looking back, I can't see one specific thing, or habit, or argument, or anything that we *consciously* changed … When you have an insight, you don't have to go through all of your head and correct this habit and that thought… in a sense, it momentarily wipes the slate clean and your thoughts are *automatically* re-ordered. You *automatically* see the innocence of everybody around you; you *automatically* see that everybody is operating at the end of their thinking.”
You can have a listen to this 4 minute clip from the conversation, where he's talking about this, here:
Jamie Smart Podcast – Chip Chipman on insights
0:00
/232.532922
1×
I couldn't love this one phrase any more, if I tried:
> *“Everybody is operating at the end of their thinking”*
It's another way of articulating this **Key Message** of mine, that is pretty much the starting point for *any* exploration of the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com):
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us.
It also goes a long way to explaining why this ‘automatic’ aspect of the real world fallout from insights, that Chip talks about, makes total sense.
It's because what an insight, or realisation does, is changes the *‘what makes sense to us’* aspect of this equation… therefore *‘what we are doing’* will change of its own accord.
It's pretty cool. Like being shown [how something *actually* works](https://www.gilespcroft.com/water-bottle-insight/) for the very first time, and the way you interact with it being changed as a result, from that point onwards.
No notes, no ‘having to remember’, no applying, no trying… just change. Because of how you now see things differently.
💗
## Career change happens within
This is what started to happen to me, in the days that followed the [ballet shoe incident](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/#the-lost-ballet-shoe). My thoughts had started to be ‘automatically re-ordered’ and what resulted was a series of mini-realisations, that constituted a re-examination of all the things I had taken for granted in the past, that no longer looked true.
This is the beauty of Principles (i.e. universal, irrefutable laws):
🔑
****Key Message**: PRINCIPLES are:
1\. Constant – *they're always in play*
2\. Explanatory – **they explain past situations & behaviours*
3\. Predictive – **they predict the behaviour of something in the future*
Given that I was in the immediate run-up to delivering a keynote at the Careers conference I'd been [speaking at for the last decade](https://www.gilespcroft.com/career-change-starts-with-one-thought/) or so, my *own* materials, and how I shared them with the audience, were suddenly a bit up in the air.
😬
A semi-frantic rewrite of some of my slides was underway, but mostly, I couldn't keep up with the [IMPLICATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/#03-implications) of seeing for myself (put simply) that we are **always feeling our thinking, not our circumstances**.
That's when I had another quite large (for me, in the context of my life) insight: I realised that I had *already* been sharing these principles, in my own special way, for the last 12 years, in these conference talks.
😮
I even used to begin each keynote with a slightly bombastic statement, there primarily to keep the conference organisers happy, and avoid the impression that I was overtly encouraging people to *leave* medicine:
> *“This isn't a talk about leaving medicine, even though I did. What I'm going to share with you today is applicable to any career change, be that moving on to something completely different, choosing a different speciality, or even just working differently, where you are right now.”*
There was only one problem with me saying this, each and every year: **I didn't truly believe it!!**
🙊
You see, I'd spent my entire working life moving from one thing to the other; of quitting when I didn't like something, and endlessly seeking the ‘right’ job or career that was going to ‘make me happy’.
*Those* were the experiences that had been gathering dust in my own Thought System 📦, therefore [that was all I could really see](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/), in people's futures.
So although I used to faithfully trot this statement out as my opening gambit each October, in the back of my mind, there was a naughty little voice saying,
> 📦😈: *“Yeah, you tell ’em that, Giles, but it's not true, is it? If they really want to be happy; if they're really going to feel fulfilled in what they're doing with their lives, they're going to have to leave the NHS.”*
Until a moment of insight, just two days after the ballet shoe incident, when I had another forehead-slapping realisation:
😲
OMG, it's TRUE!!! What I've been saying for all those years—that I didn't **really* believe—is absolutely correct!!!
Given that we experience our thinking, not our circumstances, people can have a **completely* different experience of the **exact same thing*… including their career!!!
This changed ***everything.***
## Ignorance and innocence
I feel like I've written “unbeknownst to me” a fair bit in [this series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/) of Daily Reminders, but with the benefit of hindsight, it's hard to overstate the role of the invisible, wheels-turning-in-the-background aspects to all of this.
Life change is peppered with antecedents, which I'm guessing is why people are always saying things like *“nothing happens without a reason”.*
- 46 years of ‘Giles-ing’ [led up to](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/) the 17 Days of change
- Being confused, but curious enough to keep listening to Jamie's podcasts led to the discovery of, and my opening up to, [the notion of ‘effortless’ change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/) (i.e. via insight alone)
- Looking concertedly in the direction of the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com) and hearing, over and over again, that 100% of our experience is created from Thought, led to a profound realisation about that, during an [everyday interaction with my daughter](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/)
- Seeing for myself that we are only *ever* feeling our thinking, not our circumstances, led me to seeing the whole domain of ‘circumstances’ in an entirely different light, itself leading me to fresh new ways of appreciating [the process of career change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/career-change-starts-with-one-thought/).
And, unbeknownst to me, the realisation that people don't have to change career, in order to experience a ***changed*** career, was about to lead to the biggest insight yet – the one that makes me [view my entire life](https://www.gilespcroft.com/six-years-old/) as before-and-after that day…
I was about to have an experience of Innate Health.
Until next time…
💟
Giles
p.s. If you want to reflect on this one, then take some time to look back and examine some of the big changes you've been through in *your* life. What were the antecedents? Could you have predicted them? Can you find evidence of things changing because of seeing things differently?
And the biggie: **Are you open to the idea that things are *already* changing for you, right Now?**
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Continue reading…
[17 Days: Innate HealthThe Insight Series - Part 4\. Having an embodied experience of who-I-really-am ✨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-innate-health/)
Get stuck into ****Part 4** in this series
### Waves on the ocean
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/waves-on-the-ocean/
Last updated: 2026-07-16T15:14:57.000Z
In [last week's Sunday Spiritual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-innate-wellbeing/), as I was trying to describe something *without* form using the tools of form that I have at my disposal (i.e. language; imagery), I made a bit of a sideways mention of waves.
When I said that experience was happening ‘[on my watch](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-innate-wellbeing/#on-your-watch)’ I had to then try and describe what the ‘me’ that actually *experiences* this ‘watch’ is, and the best I could do was this:
> *“This localised manifestation; this wave on the ocean of vibrating energy that we collectively label as a ‘Giles’ has a view on things – a perspective, or ‘watch’.”*
## Waves are a brilliant metaphor
I was first alerted to the metaphor of waves—as a description of who we really are—by a friend, who let me know about the BBC Scotland documentary, [The Secret Life of Waves](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00y5jhx?ref=gilespcroft.com), just after my mum died. She said it would give me a completely different perspective on life and death, and boy was she right?!
It's absolutely flabbergasting, and I have watched it many times.
What set out to be a scientific exploration of the physics of waves, coincided with the terminal illness of the documentary-maker's mother, which meant that all sorts of parallels are drawn between the very obvious, study-able, visible nature of waves, and our essential nature as spiritual beings having a human experience.
Some amazing facts from the documentary:
- You can **track waves**, unbroken, from one side of an ocean, all the way to the other 😳
- In spite of this, the water *associated* with a wave **does not actually travel anywhere** (it just kind of wobbles, in place) 😲
- This means that a wave you're witnessing as a solid object that clearly moves from one place to another (I mean, you can surf them!) is **not an object** at all, it's a *process.* What you're witnessing is a transfer of *energy*, in wave-form 🤯
- When the wave breaks, the energy (which can neither be created, nor destroyed, remember) dissipates mostly as sound. The whole thing is just **made of energy**… taking a temporary form 🫠
And all of this 👆🏻 just happens to be pretty much the best description of a human being going.
Mind. Blown.
It's why you'll find numerous mentions of waves in spiritual circles, for instance:
A selection of wave-related imagery, snaffled from various part of the Internet.
And if you're wondering where you've heard this before, then yes, the chapter of Amy Johnson's book [*Just a Thought*](https://amzn.to/4cpCEPH?ref=gilespcroft.com), where she talks about *‘Objects and Processes’* was written *after* she and I had a long conversation about this documentary, during the recording of [our podcast episode](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/changeable-podcast/id1434131959?i=1000473501885&ref=gilespcroft.com) on grief and death!
I recommend seeking out the documentary ([it gets occasionally aired](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00y5jhx?ref=gilespcroft.com)) and you can catch me and Amy talking about life and death and grief, below too.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
## Listen 🎧
[EP94: Grief and Death with Giles CroftPodcast Episode · Changeable Podcast · 4 May 2020 · 52minApple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/changeable-podcast/id1434131959?i=1000473501885&ref=gilespcroft.com)
It's a bit raw—Mum had died just a few weeks previously—but it's the gold standard 3 Principles chat about death and grief.
---
_This post is for subscribers only._
### 17 Days: Thought realisation
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/
Last updated: 2026-09-07T20:31:31.000Z
📑
This is ****Part 2** of a four-part [series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/), detailing the insights I had when I first came across the Innate Health understanding, how those insights happened, and what it means for you.
You can read ****Part 1**, here: [****The lead-up**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/)
Almost all the people I work with have either a person or a situation that really pushes their buttons. It might be a partner, a parent or a child; a colleague (or boss); the state of their bank account, their job or career, the traffic, or just life in general!
I had quite a *lot* that pushed my buttons… until I didn't.
This is about how that change happened, without fanfare, and under the most normal of everyday circumstances.
## Looking in a new direction
Having decided, 6 months prior, to give up the Health IT work I'd been doing for 15 years and instead devote my energies towards helping individuals with career and life changes, I'd embarked on a Life Coaching qualification. (I'd had to google ‘life coaching’ because I had no idea what it was, but everyone I mentioned it to seemed to think I'd be good at it, so who was I to argue?!)
😂
I enjoyed it, but balked a little at the structured way I was supposed to tackle 1:1 sessions, and lead clients through [a process](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GROW%5Fmodel?ref=gilespcroft.com). It seemed like there was a lot to remember; a lot of rules, and I didn't like that one bit.
You see, it didn't really resonate with the experiences of career and life change that I'd witnessed for myself (and which I'd been [speaking about for over a decade](https://www.gilespcroft.com/career-change-starts-with-one-thought/)), which seemed much more intuitively-guided; interspersed with serendipity and insight.
But I was committed to helping people, so I used the same strategy I'd always used when heading in a new, unknown direction: the [statue-in-stone-method](https://www.gilespcroft.com/using-ai-as-a-tool/#:~:text=The%20statue%2Din%2Dstone%20method) (i.e. find lots of examples of how other people are doing this same thing, and remove all the ways you *don't* want to do it, until you have your own way) 🙂
To that end, I'd taken to the podcast directory and plugged in a search:
🔍
Life coaching demonstration
This brought back plenty of examples, and I was happily working my way through them, writing most of them off as either too boring or too much like therapy.
Or too weird.
Jamie Smart's [Thriving Coaches Podcast](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-thriving-coaches-podcast/id1148633622?ref=gilespcroft.com) fell into that last category… initially. I'd listened to [one episode](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/pcp-007-verena-debnar-just-take-the-next-step/id1148633622?i=1000395114713&ref=gilespcroft.com), ostensibly about career change (thinking I'd hit the jackpot when I found it) but was disappointed to find that he didn't talk about careers, or values, or transferable skills or anything like that.
In fact he didn't really talk about much at all! But somehow the person who was being coached seemed to leave the 30 minute conversation a changed person.
Very weird.
Anyway, I'd promised myself I'd give each podcast a couple of goes, and when it came back round to Jamie's I dutifully listened to another episode, honestly hoping there'd be a bit more meat to it this time; something I could sink my teeth into, take away and apply.
But it was just the same. Some questions, yes, but nothing structured or recognisable, some silences, and then seemingly inconsequential chat about what I thought at the time was your bog standard mindfulness – presence, thought awareness, that sort of thing.
And *again* – the person being coached seemed to have a *huge* shift, in a relatively short period of time. I couldn't figure out how, or why.
Ever so slightly annoyed, completely bamboozled, and yet inexplicably drawn to this strange man and his strange little podcast that made no sense to me, I started listening to episode after episode.
And that's when the changes began.
INSIDE THE PROCESS // What this means for you
Unbeknownst to me, in doing this, I was satisfying the [three basic criteria](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) that are necessary for change to occur:
1\. ****Show up** – I was listening to new materials on a daily basis
2\. ****Be present** – I was fully focused on this stuff and not distracted, because I found it fascinating
3\. ****Stay open** – This was the biggie. I had absolutely **no idea* what was going on in these podcasts, and on some level they seemed to challenge the way I expected this sort of conversation to go. By coming back, again and again, willing to be wrong about what coaching was, and how life change even worked, I was priming myself for insight.
It was all I had to do. And it's all **you* have to do, too.
## Led by curiosity
There's an entry in my journal, from 3rd October 2018, that simply says:
> *“I've been listening to the Jamie Smart podcast… I'm drawn back to it, time and time again. I think it's because—even though it's not particularly life-coachy—he speaks the Truth. So I've got his* [*audiobook*](https://amzn.to/4tlLMKN/?ref=gilespcroft.com)*. Let's see!”*
That's when the clock started ticking.
From the very first moment I started listening to it, every word seemed to resonate. I had to keep stopping it and rewinding, because everything it said just made so much sense! It was one, *“D'oh – of course!* 🤦🏻♂️*”* moment after another.
I'd always maintained that every personal development book I'd ever read was saying pretty much the same thing (it was the only way I'd been able to distill it all into my own *‘10 Principles of Career Change’* conference talk) and here was a book that seemed to explain *why*.
It was all the ‘truth’—the basic principles of how the human experience works—without any of the esoteric, author-created, ‘you-must-do-this’ techniques stuff layered over the top, which was *exactly* what I'd been looking for. Proper foundations for building my own practice.
But here's the funny thing, and the bit of information that should hopefully put your mind at ease, if you've been batting away at this for a while: despite *totally* clicking with *all* the content, and not disagreeing with a single word of it (really ‘getting it intellectually’, you could say), **nothing changed.**
My life wasn't in any way different at all. The rest of my journal entries initially consist of all the same old same old, *here's-what-I've-done-today* crap, interspersed with the odd picture of a tree, as I continued to try and ‘do’ gratitude.
👀
Worth remembering: we [don't get to choose](https://www.gilespcroft.com/change-to-order/) when change happens.
## Insight strikes
Funnily enough, I can remember Jamie talking about the ‘outside-in misunderstanding’ a fair bit in the book, but not being all that impacted by it. Even though he said it lies at the root of all our problems, I still didn't really see how.
It all seemed a bit too obvious, and I had a sort of an *“And…? So what?”* reaction to that particular aspect of the book, I think probably because on some level I still thought this understanding had to be *applied* in some way.
(We've all been pretty comprehensively indoctrinated to try and *‘do’* happiness & wellbeing! 😬)
But he also kept saying that there was nothing to apply, and that change happened through insight, so I just kept listening and going about my normal, everyday life. Getting up. Going in to work. Eating. Sleeping. Childcare.
The first record of me having some sort of significant insight, is a selfie I've found in my journaling app, taken 7 days after starting the book, with no details beyond a title of: *‘Insight face’* 🤓😂
I'm sorry I can't tell you what stopped me in my tracks like this, but I do remember being *literally* stopped in my tracks. I was walking through Bailey Park on my way to the office, listening to either Jamie's book or another podcast episode of his and I felt my walking pace get slower and slower until I came to a complete standstill.
It was like the air had suddenly turned to treacle or something. I had to stop what I was listening to and just *be* for a bit, still and quiet, because what I'd been listening to (that I don't remember) had led to a realisation about my own life (that I can't recall) that cut very deep indeed.
Again, nothing materially changed, but the wheels were turning in the background and I guess I was starting to *see* life differently. (In a way that I still didn't understand and certainly couldn't explain.)
🫠
## The lost ballet shoe
It was in an everyday interaction with my then-4½ year old daughter that the first chunk of misunderstanding fell away *so* comprehensively, I knew life would never be the same again.
It was the day after that photo above and first thing in the morning, my little chica was having a **Code Red Emergency**:
🚨
She had mislaid one of her ballet shoes 🩰‼️🆘😫⚠️😭
My daughter has always loved doing ballet, and at this age she practically *lived* in a tutu and her ballet shoes, dancing around the house, pretending to be the *Prima Ballerina*, so this was in fact a very big deal. For everyone.
My wife was running around getting stuff together to drive to London for the day so she helped me search for a while, but eventually had to go, apologetically leaving me on my own with one ballet shoe and one utterly distraught, caterwauling child.
I looked *everywhere*, and couldn't find it. In fact I looked for so long that my daughter eventually calmed down and found something else to do. I knew I had to locate it somehow, because later that day she had a ballet lesson, and all the caterwauling would recommence!
But I gave up. I'd turned the house upside down without success and figured that either it would ‘magically’ turn up (as sometimes happens) or I'd just have to buy some new ballet shoes from the teacher later if we didn't have the requisite two.
I sat at my desk and got on with some work, resolving to ‘cross that bridge when I came to it’ – because if there was one thing I *had* picked up from listening to Jamie's book, it was that worry like that was utterly pointless.
🤷🏻♂️
## Who's the daddy?
Then, a little voice, from the room next door:
> *“Daddy! Come and look at this!”*
Busy, engrossed, I swivelled in my chair to call out that I'd be there in a minute, and in doing so, from this new vantage point, I saw the missing shoe!!! 😲 It had somehow become lodged under the coffee table in my office and could only be seen from this angle.
My spirits soared. Oh man, was I about to score the biggest bunch of Daddy-points ever?! I'd solved the problem and found her ballet shoe! How awesome was that?! How awesome was I?!
I thought I'd give her a big surprise, so I hid the shoe behind my back and went through to the next room, where she was sitting on the floor, playing with her Lego Duplo blocks. Excited at what was about to happen, I crouched down to her level and envisaged the huge smile on her face, the exclamation of joy, maybe a big hug, probably her putting the shoe on immediately and doing a celebratory dance, there and then!
Wide eyed and grinning ear to ear, I slowly revealed what was behind my back, offering it to her on my upturned palm:
> *“Look what Daddy found!!”*
She raised her head, half smiled and said,
> *“Oh. My ballet shoe,”* before going back to playing with her Duplo.
😐
## A menu of reactions
The rush of emotions that flooded my system from this apparent ‘snub’ was sudden, and quite strong. Disappointment, puzzlement, injustice, futility, anger even… it was all there in that moment.
*How* could she not be more excited? *Why* was she not more grateful? I'd just spent *ages* finding this damned ballet shoe for her (when I should have been working), and *this* is the thanks I get?!
😡
Now, we've all been in this sort of situation before—it can happen with anyone, not just kids—so there are a few different ways I could have reacted to that situation, and would have done in the past:
### 1\. Sarcasm
> *“Oh, nice one. Yeah, great. ‘Thanks Dad!’ I've only spent the last hour finding it for you. Good grief, I won't bother next time.”*
Don't pretend you haven't done that to someone at some point, because we all have. ‘The lowest form of wit’, quite hurtful, and would have gone completely over the head of a 4½ year old anyway. (She was a fair bit older before I heard her say to her mum once, *“Mum, you know when Dad says ‘Brilliant,’ sometimes he doesn't mean it, does he?”* 😳)
She'd probably have picked up on the tone though, and thought she was in trouble. A very poor response that I'd have instantly regretted: 2/10 at best.
### 2\. Teaching
> *“Huni? Do you know what the word ‘gratitude’ means? No? Well, when someone does something nice for us, what we usually do is…”*
…and so begins the parental programming, the guilt, the shame and the long, inevitable march to the therapist's office. (Might as well start saving up for her now.) *I remember, when I was little, I really tried to keep my parents happy. I guess I got so used to pretending, after a while, I lost myself…*
Again, she's little, it'd have mostly gone over her head anyway, but I've definitely used these sorts of situations in the past to teach ‘good behaviour’. Not as bad as sarcasm, but still poor. A reaction I'd probably regret, later: 4/10.
### 3\. Self-criticism
Seeing myself as a somewhat Ego Construct 📦 ‘evolved’ kind of dad, I'm guessing that in a different frame of mind, I would have just bitten my tongue and not said anything. Tried to be understanding of her (lack of) response, and turned the savage gaze of my analytical mind inwardly, instead:
> *“Why did I expect so much out of that situation? I'm such an idiot. She doesn't owe me anything, she's just a kid. But why did I react so strongly? Oh god, I'm always doing that, aren't I? It's not particularly good behaviour to model for her though, is it? How can I improve? What do I need to do differently here? What books do I have that I could read? I bet I could do much better than that. What kind of a dad am I? Dammit, why is parenting so hard…?!”*
And so on. It would have been a very busy morning, inside Giles’ head! Doing housework… thinking about it, all the while. Distracted and procrastinating on work, scanning personal development books and the mind's filing system for solutions. Going over the situation again and again, trying to figure out how to change things. A sad little 5/10 and feeling very sorry about that.
👀
****Of note**: We don't get to choose these reactions, either. All [behaviour lies downstream](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/) of understanding in the moment.
What mood, or frame of mind we are in determines the reality that is created, there and then, and we will react accordingly.
🔑 ****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us.
All of us will have expressed some variation of **all* of these reactions at some point: it's normal and it's human, so ****go easy on your self**.
---
But this day, none of the usual rules seemed to apply, and something *completely* different happened.
## A big dose of Truth
Rewind, and I go through to her room—she's there on the floor, with the Duplo—I excitedly offer the recovered ballet shoe, I get short shrift and I experience the strong disappointment, puzzlement, injustice, futility, anger and resentment emotions, it's all exactly the same…
Except, before I can react in any of the ways outlined above, **WHAM!!** 💥 I'm struck dumb, as if silence has been punched into the side of my head and I suddenly *realise*, I suddenly *see* it for myself, because it's happening, right here, right now:
***None* of those feelings are coming from my daughter, it's *all* coming from inside *me*.**
🤯
🔑
****Key Message**: 100% of our feelings come from the Principle of Thought and 0% come from our circumstances.
All the hurt abruptly disappeared and I probably looked quite a lot like I did in that photo above: slack-jawed and glassy-eyed. System reboot. My mind went silent—a level of silence I didn't even know was *possible*—and the hairs stood up on the back of my neck.
Time ceased to be a thing and to this day I have no idea how long I stood there, gawping, silently, with a feeling of total emptiness and expansiveness—as if I were transparent—looking down at my daughter picking up bits of Duplo and continuing to build her tower.
Then a thought—the first one; it was so obvious, there in the silent cavern of my mind—popped up:
> *“This is weird. What's happening?”*
LOL, minds. But that was it, and the usual background hum of analysis (that I hadn't even noticed had become the main feature of my life) didn't return for a little while. I stayed empty; [wide open](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/); experiencing ‘[just daughter](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-tree/)’.
Instead, into that space came the strongest feeling of love for my daughter I'd experienced since the day I first held her in my arms. I felt so connected, so at one with her, and in a flash—without effort—I instantly saw the entire scenario from her perspective:
> *“Ohhhhh, she gets it!!”* I thought. *“She's a living-in-the-moment machine!!!”*
- I could see that she had no reason to hold on to the pain of losing the ballet shoe, so her thinking about it—and all the associated suffering—settled. (Way quicker than mine; a [resilience](https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/) masterclass!)
- I could see that she'd expressed gratitude with her half-smile, and politely acknowledged that I'd found her ballet shoe – what more did I want?
- Because I could also see that the whole reason she'd called me through, was to look at the awesome Duplo tower she'd just built and yet I'd completely ignored it! All this talk of ballet shoes was irrelevant in that moment, *What on earth is Daddy banging on about?!*
All that in what was *probably* a matter of a second or so (don't know), and yet was experienced without any boundaries, and arrived completely unbidden, ‘out of the blue’.
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but insight.
I kissed her on the head, told her I loved her and went about my day, without a care in the world.
INSIDE THE PROCESS // What this means for you
I need to be really clear that while the nature of this **experience* was very unique to me (and why I took the time to spell out some of the antecedents to it happening, from the [prior 46 years](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/)) the underlying **principles*, and the three 🔑 ****Key Messages** I shared are the same for all of us.
I've heard many a weird and wonderful tale of normal life being interrupted by insight in all sorts of ways, and have also spoken to people who've known that something has changed, but they can't put it into words.
On occasion, clients have reported being told by **other people* that they're behaving differently, because they hadn't noticed, themselves!
So I mean it when I say that there are no rules.
****Change shows up in a way that's just right for you.**
## What follows
What followed back then, again, was pretty much normal life.
None of that story above came fully formed at the time, and the mind has since constructed the narrative around it, making sense, as it does; using words to [try and describe the ineffable](https://www.gilespcroft.com/silence-is-where-its-at/).
As for the rest of this 4-part journey together, let's come back to the start of this piece for a moment, and picture that one person or situation that's guaranteed to push your buttons. And let me ask you, in light of what you've just read:
****🤔 What if those feelings aren't coming from them at all?**
---
Having an embodied experience of the inside-out nature of life like this was a genuinely life-changing moment for me, because I *knew* that even when I lost sight of it, this psychological system of ours only worked one way. It always had, and it always would.
There were principles as reliable as gravity at play here, and that was *really* good to know.
But after the dust had settled, and 9 days into this 17-day-and-46-year journey I'm sharing with you, I was still left with an unanswered question:
> *What practical difference is this really going to make to my life?*
And that's another story for another day.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Continue reading…
[17 Days: ImplicationsThe Insight Series - Part 3\. Watching pieces of the jigsaw fall into place 🧩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-implications/)
Get stuck into ****Part 3** in this series
### Perspectives
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/perspectives/
Last updated: 2026-04-03T06:00:47.000Z
As so often happens, once I've got something on my radar and I've written about it, other examples keep dropping into my consciousness.
(There's something in that, isn't there? Another story for another day, perhaps.)
Anyway, no sooner had I written about how when we're in discussion with another human being about anything, we're ‘[All right and all wrong](https://www.gilespcroft.com/all-right-all-wrong/)’, than this image popped up for me.
I'm almost certain you'll have seen it before, but there are levels to it:
### All right
First and foremost, this singular object—raw data, in a particular shape—has two different realities for the two people. That's the obvious thing.
Neither of them is wrong. Within the reality that's being created ‘[on their watch](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-innate-wellbeing/#:~:text=we%20are.%20%F0%9F%92%96-,On%20your%20watch,-The%20best%20way)’, they're both right. They're experiencing a particular reality and that's that. Reasoning doesn't come into it: it's a 6 and it's a 9\. You'll not convince either of them otherwise.
So there's that.
### All different
But then let's hang on for a moment here and remind ourselves of this little fact:
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality.
This means that ‘6-ness’ and ‘9-ness’ aren't inherent characteristics of the shape itself, they're a creation of the mind, drawing on shared cultural understanding and prior experience. So if there were five people standing over on the right, looking down, there would be five different ‘9’ realities:
- Someone who hasn't been taught about numbers, just sees some meaningless lines
- An eight-year old will be obsessed with *being* 9
- Someone whose cat just had a scrape with death, will be aware of the significance of ‘9 lives’
- A couple exiting the cinema, having just viewed the film *Nine*, will have a lot to say about it (another two ‘realities’ for you there)
- Someone who's into the [Enneagram](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enneagram%5Fof%5FPersonality?ref=gilespcroft.com), and who identifies as a ‘9’, will experience something different.
And on and on it goes. No two ‘9’s are the same.
So there's that, too.
### All variable
And blow me, if there's not *another* layer of smoke to navigate here, because of course any of those individuals will experience a different ‘9’ again, at another point in time, because:
🔑
****Key Message**: Your felt experience of life is only ever happening ****Now**
The ‘9’ is re-created, every time it's observed.
Take for instance, the eight-year old. That ‘9’, and all it signifies in their thought-created reality, will seem very aspirational at the age of eight, but quite probably a bit ‘baby-ish’ at the age of 10, or 11.
Or you could literally just be in a different mood one day, and the ‘9’ being created would mean something different to you. (It will do after reading this 😂)
Which means there's also that.
That, and my hurting brain.
### All I've got for you
And that's it. There's nothing else to do here.
There's never anything else to do—no ‘[shoulds](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/)’ (🚩)—but to *be aware* that this is going on, all the time, in the conscious awareness of every individual that walks this planet.
Like I say, [8+ billion separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/), *every* moment.
🫠
Giles
p.s. researching this one, I learned that the number 4 is considered *so* unlucky in many East-Asian cultures (because its pronunciation is so similar to the word for ‘death’) that many buildings are built without a 4th floor! 😲 You can read aout ‘tetraphobia’ on [Wikipedia, here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetraphobia?ref=gilespcroft.com).
### Related
[8+ billion separate realitiesThere’s some stuff you know, right? But what if you’re wrong? 😳The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/)
### 17 Days: The lead-up
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-the-lead-up/
Last updated: 2026-09-07T20:31:01.000Z
Everybody loves a change story. Better still if it's encapsulated in a proper [hero's journey](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s%5Fjourney?ref=gilespcroft.com) narrative: the call to adventure, meeting a guide, overcoming challenges, death, rebirth, transformation…
It's standard fare not only for the world of personal change, but is also weaved into pretty much every novel you've read and film you've watched, because in a way, it's *all* our journeys, through life. That whole before-and-after thing, with uncertainty and obstacles laid out between them – it really resonates!
I've been peddling my own story for the last god knows how many years, and if you've heard me speak on a podcast, or at a conference, or on [one of my courses](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fvQG-v7z3g&ref=gilespcroft.com), it all sounds quite neat and tidy. Somewhat dramatic, perhaps. A bit inspiring (hopefully).
> Giles’ life changed *completely* when he came across the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com), over the course of 17 days… and yours can too! 🙌🏻
(It's catnip to an ego, I can tell you.)
I even alluded to it the other day, [when I was talking about insights](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/), referring to **Four 🎉 Realisations 🎉 That 🎉 Changed 🎉 My 🎉 Life 🎉**
LOL. And of course, it's a lot messier than that. And in a way, more normal. And boring.
But as I listed those [four insights](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/#:~:text=All%20four%20of%20these%20realisations%20changed%20the%20course%20of%20my%20life.) the other day, I realised that while I've certainly *talked* about them a lot, I've never actually *written* about them (which, for a writer, is a pretty poor show), so I'm going to set the record straight over the next few days.
I'll let you know what happened, so that you can see for yourself, just how accessible change is. How available. How anything can happen, even when we're not expecting it to (in fact, precisely *when* we're not expecting it)!
But there's one big elephant in the room that needs addressing first.
## 46 years and 17 days
It just so happens that when I was going through this period of change, I was keeping a daily journal. (I was a bit miserable and had been attempting to make myself feel better with ‘gratitude journaling’ – it didn't work.)
But it means that I've got a timeline laid out in front of me. Sitting down with it, to figure out what happened when, I can see that there was a **17 day period**—from when I first picked up Jamie Smart's [*Little Book of Clarity*](https://gilespcroft.link/lboc?ref=gilespcroft.com), until I had a really humbling and life-changing experience up on stage, speaking at a conference—over which I started to see life very differently indeed (and have done, ever since).
That's pretty exciting, isn't it? 17 days! Isn't big change supposed to take longer than that?!
Well, of course, it did. It took just shy of **46 *years*** and 17 days. Those seventeen days were just when I was pointed in a different direction from what I'd been used to.
So a lot of big stuff had already happened: many changes, many insights, many highs, many lows, much learned, much seen…
- I'd got pretty far through a surgical training career, and seen that money, status and fulfilling work was no guarantee of happiness (which, frankly, was a bit disappointing)
- I'd left medicine *entirely*, which was epic and scary at the time (I'm really proud of Giles *circa.* 2002, for doing that!) to embark on a different career
- I'd eventually created a portfolio career lifestyle that, on the surface, ticked all the boxes: well-paid, flexible consultancy work, freelancing as a features writer for a cycling magazine part time, riding lots, writing lots, travelling, being creative… but still with a chronic, low-level dissatisfaction I couldn't shake
- I'd been on the most gargantuan personal development journey—for years!—joining groups, attending seminars, doing audio programmes, reading ALL the books, trying all the diets, the yoga, the meditating, journaling, visualising, exercising, fasting… and eventually giving up on it all, because ‘I couldn't do it right’ and concluding that there was ‘something wrong with me’
- I'd been speaking at careers conferences for 11 years straight, laying out my insights from all that personal development, in my own *‘10 Principles of Career Change’* that I delivered to hungry audiences – an annual event that I used to look forward to more than anything else
- I'd already had a huge revelation, just 6 months prior to the 17 days, that I was going to wind down my health IT consultancy work and become a life coach, and indeed had done so, and was in the run up to delivering my careers talk once again, and officially ‘launching’ my coaching practice at the same time.
This is the *backdrop* to those 17 days (you've got your own backdrop), but none of that was what really changed things. If I'd got evidence of anything across all those career leaps, the years of self-help, and even the years of speaking about it on stage, it was maybe what *didn't* work in my accidental quest for happiness and peace of mind.
It was something else entirely—that I shall share over the next few posts—that arrived, completely unbidden, over 17 fairly ordinary, life-altering days, that showed me the way.
And it's something that, I have seen, since then, is available to *anyone,* regardless of what's come before.
You don't have to have been through anything like that; you might have had a similar journey, and still feel stuck. It really doesn't matter.
All you need is to be looking for change.
💟
Giles
p.s. incidentally, that ☝🏻 up there, is why I'm calling my book, *Life in Focus: How to Kick the Self-Help Habit and Enjoy Life Without Being Told What To Do.*
How I wish I could have read it myself, all those years ago! 😂
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start y**our* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Necessary ingredients for changeThe three things everybody needs, to get the change they want, whatever it is 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)
Could be a good time to revisit this one 💝
### Continue reading
[17 Days: Thought realisationThe Insight Series - Part 2\. Seeing through the outside-in misunderstanding 💭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/17-days-thought-realisation/)
Get stuck into ****Part 2** in this series
### Clouds
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/clouds/
Last updated: 2026-04-07T23:25:15.000Z
As metaphors go, it's hard to beat the use of clouds to describe the notion of thought and how it affects us.
- *“It'll pass”*
- *“You just have to weather the storm”*
- *“Every cloud has a silver lining”*
But if we delve a little deeper into the nature of the human experience, we start to see that it's *all* thought – the whole shooting match! Without thought, there would be no experience.
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a thought-generated perceptual reality
→ In each moment that passes, to feel it, you have to think it.
→ In each moment that passes, if you think it, you feel it.
The two are inseparable; so much so that you have my permission to consider them to be one and the same thing:
You see, it always really *seems* like we're experiencing our circumstances directly—that they're somehow making us feel a particular way; that they're responsible for our emotions—and yet we forget that there's a [missing link](https://sydneybanks.com/product/the-missing-link/?ref=gilespcroft.com) between what happens to us and everything that comes after that… and it's Thought.
Not *a* thought, but the Principle of Thought itself – [the perceptual process](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/) that brings the raw, meaningless data of our environment to life.
The process that creates our reality in the moment. It's quick as a flash and we're blissfully unaware it's happening – it’s evolved to be a seamless process (although it [can be tricked easily](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-wont-believe-your-eyes/)).
And this is where clouds take on a deeper significance. Because more than being something that we have to weather until the blue skies return, in reality Thought is an omnipresent fact of life. Like oxygen. Or water. An elemental building block of the human experience, imbued with as much meaning as we're willing to ascribe to it.
- Like clouds in our atmosphere, they're always there
- Like clouds, they come and go. (A blink of an eye, in the big scheme of things.)
- Like clouds, they only ever obscure the sun & sky (our [True Nature](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/#04-true-nature)), they don't affect it in any way
- Like clouds, they don't have to stop us in our tracks
- Like clouds, we notice the ones we notice, but the vast majority pass us by
- Like clouds, they take on an infinite number of appearances
- Like clouds, they have no inherent quality of ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – they just *are*
---
I invite you to take a full 7 minutes out of your life, slow down and watch this video of various cloud & storm formations (ideally on a big screen):
Made with timelapse photography, well before AI was a thing.
It's utterly mesmerising, and not a little overwhelming at times, especially with the rousing soundtrack.
As you're watching it, marvel at the many different forms these clouds (thought) can take. Always on the move. Always changing shape. Always passing through.
And when you get right to the very end of the credits, see how that beautiful swirling tower of cloud (thought) continually disperses, regenerates, twists, comes and goes, irrespective of the immeasurably large sky it's in… and take comfort in that.
---
I was out walking on my own once, busy beating myself up about various aspects of life and work that weren't matching up to my made up rules.
Obsessed with the *content* of the various thought forms instead of marvelling at the *fact* of thought… and what lies beneath it all.
I took this photo, and for a moment (several moments, throughout the day, as I kept catching myself) it all made sense.
🌤️
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### All right, all wrong
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/all-right-all-wrong/
Last updated: 2026-08-12T13:14:12.000Z
I saw this and it brought to mind the whole [separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/) thing. It's from Tim Urban, of the brilliant [Wait But Why](https://waitbutwhy.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) website.
(If you've never checked out the one about ‘[Your Life in Weeks](https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html?ref=gilespcroft.com)’, it will give you quite the kick up the arse, but be warned 🚨 – his posts are addictive and you will lose a full *one* of those precious weeks reading them all!)
Anyway, he had a couple of kids and recently wrote a post called ‘[Tales from Toddlerhood](https://waitbutwhy.com/2025/10/toddler.html?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ that cracked me up because when it comes to parenting advice, then Yes – it's a frickin' minefield out there! 😂
Everybody's winging it, and everyone thinks they're right (which is what makes parenthood so much ‘fun’):
[](https://waitbutwhy.com/2025/10/toddler.html?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Link to original post: [Tales from Toddlerhood](https://waitbutwhy.com/2025/10/toddler.html?ref=gilespcroft.com)
It brings to mind the little section of the book [Sanity, Insanity and Common Sense](https://gilespcroft.link/sanity-insanity/?ref=gilespcroft.com) (that should be considered your course textbook, as a Daily Reminders reader ☺️) where they're talking about disagreements in general:
> *“Incredible confusion can result when people attempt to solve problems by using his or her own separate frame of reference to decide who is right, who is wrong, who is telling the truth, and who is not.*
> *“The fact is that in separate realities, everyone is is right and everyone is telling the truth *as they see it*.”*
So important to be aware of!
💟
Giles
p.s. I unpick this a little more in a previous Daily Reminder 👇🏻
[Why your other half is always rightThey’re right… but that doesn’t necessarily make you wrong 🙃The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-your-other-half-is-always-right/)
2 min video clip explainer.
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Beating night shift dread
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/beating-night-shift-dread/
Last updated: 2026-05-19T20:17:06.000Z
I sincerely hope you're not, but if you're reading this and about to start a week of nights, then my heart goes out to you.
❤️🩹
It was that kind of malarkey contributed to me leaving the NHS, 20+ years ago.
You see, I'm old enough to have experienced both:
- the ‘bad old days’ of on-call, working from 8am on a Saturday morning, until 7pm on a Monday night, potentially with little or no sleep (certainly when I was doing General Surgery at [Jimmy's](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St%5FJames%27s%5FUniversity%5FHospital?ref=gilespcroft.com)), ***and***
- the supposedly ‘better’ post-European Working Time Directive ([EWTD](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working%5FTime%5FDirective%5F2003?ref=gilespcroft.com)) days when everything got moved over to shift work, to reduce our hours.
I much preferred the former, where I was tired, yes, but I was working as part of a tight-knit team that I had history with, I knew all the patients, and I only had to endure working these horror weekends once every 5 or 6 weeks.
After the change, I seldom knew the people I was working with (which meant less trust for learning operating skills), had less continuity of care with patients and due to the fact that there were ‘earlys’, ‘lates’ and ‘nights’ to cover, I lost 3 out of 5 or 6 of my weekends!! 😡
*\[Take a deep breath, Giles. It's ancient history now. You can ride your bike any time you like* 😂*\]*
Anyway, if you *are* about to start nights, or ever have to, here's something that might help.
It's a piece I wrote for the [British Medical Journal](https://www.bmj.com/content/372/bmj.n395?ref=gilespcroft.com#:~:text=Focus%20on%20the%20present%2C%20not%20what%20might%20happen) (BMJ), when they asked if anyone would like to contribute 250 words on the topic. There were four other contributors who all had fantastic practical advice.
And then there was me, questioning what ‘dread’ even is… 😇😁😂
You can read the full article, with all the other helpful responses too, here: [How to Beat Night Shift Dread](https://www.bmj.com/content/372/bmj.n395?ref=gilespcroft.com).
💟
Giles
### Related
[It’s not what happens, it’s how you feel about it.The one simple distinction that, when truly seen, will change your life forever 🤩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-happens-how-you-feel/)
More tales from the on call room
### What does it mean, to have innate wellbeing?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-innate-wellbeing/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T16:40:30.000Z
It’s Sunday, so no clear answers today. Using the tools of the world of form, to try and describe the formless essence of life… you’ve basically failed before you begin!
But I’ve been thinking about this—‘having innate wellbeing’—and what it means, in a practical sense. Here are those thoughts.
## Who has it?
We have to address the elephant in the room first. That ‘you’ that looks as if it ‘has’ stuff like wisdom and wellbeing… yeah, that’s not actually a thing. It’s just more thought – a collection of ideas, memories and beliefs. There is no ‘you’, [driving the bus](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/), so to speak, there’s just life, and then the mind, [observing and commentating](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/).
‘Wisdom’ itself is just a label the mind places on an experience. It’s not ‘yours’, any more than gravity is ‘yours’. (We [discussed this recently](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-wisdom-comes-from/), with Syd Banks reminding us that “*Wisdom is found before the formation of form.”*)
So there’s that. You don’t ‘have’ innate wellbeing, because there’s no ‘you’ to take possession of it.
🤷🏻♂️
This kind of schizzle bent my brain so badly when I first heard teachers talking like this, that I opted out for some time, and don’t blame you if you do too.
I mean, I say ‘I’ opted out, like ‘I’ had a choice, which is just the same illusion of self, all over again, isn’t it? (Endlessly frustrating to a mind.) But in the same way it looked like ‘I’ opted out, ‘I’ also found myself coming back to explore this stuff, and if that’s you… well, here we are. 💖
## On your watch
The best way I heard it described—that allowed my mind to give up the ghost complaining about it all the time, and return me to the [necessary openness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) and curiosity for change to occur—was that experience is happening ‘on my watch’.
I like that.
This localised manifestation; this wave on the ocean of vibrating energy that we collectively label as a ‘Giles’ has a view on things – a perspective, or ‘watch’.
It’s *this* body that’s experienced, not yours; it’s *these* thoughts too. They’re not ‘mine’ because there’s no is no ‘me’ (beyond thought), but there’s an experience—an awareness—that is uniquely ‘mine’.
In short, I am aware of what it feels like to be a ‘Giles’, but not what it feels like to be a ‘You’.
## So what is ‘innate wellbeing’?
Isn’t it just more of the unexplainable, unknown stuff? The formless energy that drives the show. Which makes it sound mystical. (And it's certainly possible to have really big realisations and shifts in consciousness that deliver a quite mystical experience.)
But in an everyday practical sense, I think it's more about not being freaked out by our experience of the form. I don't claim to understand too much, but I know that whenever I'm feeling worried or panicky, that that doesn't signify anything more than a passing, conditioning-based thought. It doesn't mean anything more than that (however much the mind insists that it does).
And I think sometimes it's this thinking-it-means-something malarkey that gets us into real trouble, because it gets the ball rolling with analysing things… which ultimately only ever makes matters worse.
There is something much deeper and more powerful and comforting and magical that lies *beneath* our experience, but I don't think we feel that very often (not directly, anyway). But the evidence is all around us: hearts that beat themselves, cuts that heal, moods that settle.
Knowing it's there is good. It’s helpful. It’s practical. Knowing that there’s this illusion ‘me’ that ‘has’ innate wellbeing.
If worry and doubt and panic arise, it's not that I spot them, drop them and feel instantly ‘good’, it's that I spot them and I stop making them all much worse, by applying layers of meaning, analysis and additional negativity (which are all thought forms).
It's really helpful to have seen that for yourself. It’s what I point to all the time in the Daily Reminders.
The way that this is seen will be unique to ‘you’ – it might even involve some moments of extreme peace and presence (‘good’ experiences, if you like), but they’re still just experiences. They’ll pass.
Whereas that ‘innate wellbeing’ isn’t going anywhere!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[What Wayne Dyer got wrongSacrilege!! (But hear me out.) 🫢The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-wayne-dyer-got-wrong/)
A bit more on the search for ‘me’
### Seeing life through thought
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/seeing-life-through-thought/
Last updated: 2026-03-28T07:00:54.000Z
I love listening to podcasts of my colleagues and mentors, as invariably at some point—irrespective of the topic they're discussing—one of them will drop a turn of phrase into the conversation that has me rewinding, and re-listening, and rewinding, and re-listening… because there's just something about what they've said that really strikes a chord with me. A pointer so clear, to the true nature of things.
It happened just the other day, when I was listening to the conversation between [Samantha Miller and Amy Johnson](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/changeable-podcast/id1434131959?i=1000625906471&ref=gilespcroft.com), on the topic of OCD. And apropos nothing at all, Amy just dropped in an aside:
😮
**“We're constantly seeing life through thought, and we think we're not. We think we're seeing life as life.”*
…and then, as I moved on to the second podcast I shared with you (with [Nicola Bird and Damian Mark Smyth](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-with-damian-mark-smyth/id1255557559?i=1000400659280&ref=gilespcroft.com)), Damian said something that chimed so perfectly with that statement, when he was talking about the difference between ‘real’ and ‘true’.
> *“From the day we're born until the day we die, we're going to have thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, thoughts… and most of those thoughts will look real to us. But they're not – they're a representation… *They're real for us, but they're not actually the world out there*, they're just a representation of the world out there.”*
Just sit with those two statements for a bit.
There's real wonder in them.
💟
Giles
### Related
[The freedom of ‘real and not true’If somebody else has a different experience of something… whose experience is ‘true’? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/)
My take on “real and not true”
### “A bit more on OCD”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-bit-more-on-ocd/
Last updated: 2026-03-27T07:00:09.000Z
Please write *“a bit more on OCD”* was a request from a [Daily Reminders subscriber](https://www.gilespcroft.com/#/portal) that I took to heart and have been researching on their behalf. My answer started a couple of days ago, with a [Part 1](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-writing-about-conditions/) to this topic (this piece is Part 2).
So if you're reading this because of the post's title, then I'd say it's essential that you familiarise yourself with ‘[*Not writing about conditions*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-writing-about-conditions/)’ first (it's a 4 min read), because it sets the entire context for this second part.
I'll wait…
[Not writing about conditionsWhy it’s not always helpful to look at the details of a diagnosis 👩🏻⚕️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-writing-about-conditions/)
Part 1 of this 2-Part series on OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
You're back! 👋🏻
Now, I'm going to go ahead and assume that if you've got an interest in this topic, you don't need to learn any more details about the condition, so really I'm signposting you to helpful resources 💝
## Resource #1
I ended that last piece by saying, I was going to look at a real life example of someone who ‘overcame’ OCD when they were introduced to the Innate Health/3 Principles understanding.
That someone, and their story, has come from Chana Studley's fantastic, highly-recommended book [*Beyond Diagnosis: A Paradigm Shift from Pathology to Innate Health*](https://amzn.to/4t7wKs1?ref=gilespcroft.com) (the subtitle for which could be the subtitle for the Daily Reminders themselves, eh)? *#AllSayingTheSameThing*
After *Part One* of the book, where Chana outlines the Innate Health understanding in relation to mental health diagnoses, *Part Two* explores stories from people who'd been given various diagnostic labels, and what happened to their lives (and their experience of their diagnosis) when pointed in this direction.
One of the chapters is from [Samantha](https://www.thesamanthaspark.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com), who details all of her OCD symptoms—checking, touching, organising; horrible intrusive thoughts; being *“95% preoccupied … and 5% present”*—and all of the things she tried over the years, for the condition: therapy, CBT, medication… none of which really had any lasting effect.
#### **The post-insights version**
Then she went on a 3 Principles/Innate Health-related course, and had these sorts of things to say:
> *“This opened a door to seeing my mental health in a way I had never imagined … my mind quieted down for the first time ever.”*
(*“Never imagined”* \= [Unknown unknowns](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/), yeah?) And this ‘quieting down’ very much chimes with the first time this understanding really landed for me. The contrast between the noise in my head that I had *completely* taken for granted, and the silence that descended, when the [thought/feeling connection](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insights-keep-coming/) clicked for me… it was like night and day. Very strange, initially, truth be told!
Insights are always unique to us, and Samantha describes hers as seeing deeply that:
> *“All minds are machines and churn out stories based on long-held beliefs to protect us … it was fleeting and had nothing to do with me.”*
I actually listened to a [podcast discussion between Samantha and Dr Amy Johnson](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/changeable-podcast/id1434131959?i=1000625906471&ref=gilespcroft.com) (whose course she attended) and the most interesting part of that for me relates to my previous post—that looking at everything from the perspective of the symptoms (which is what regular therapies often do) was not helpful—when she said:
> *“Everything had always been \[looked at\] through this OCD lens … ‘I've got this, … how do I get rid of it, I want to be back the way I was’, and that was the big joke in the end; that was another huge insight I had: I was always wanting to get back to the way I was—‘Life was great when I was 18, right, before I had this episode?!’—and it was just this false, false hope that there's something to get back to and, God, that was just about the biggest relief I could ever feel when I saw that there's nothing to get back to! I didn't go anywhere! I've always been here! … It was just covered up. Nothing changed, I just see it differently – that's it.”*
She concludes in the same way that most other 3 Principles stories with happy endings conclude:
> *“When I could see this on a deeper level, the noise in my head had no reason to be so loud. It couldn't get my attention any more. And I found myself able to spend more time in the present moment. I found my peace with it all.”*
💗
## Resource #2
I hope that's whet your appetite, because your second resource—a podcast episode between [Nicola Bird and Damian Mark Smyth](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-with-damian-mark-smyth/id1255557559?i=1000400659280&ref=gilespcroft.com)—is a real doozy.
Damian had crippling OCD symptoms that changed *completely*, after one weekend's course! (That's the [power of insight](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/), folks.)
I'm going to leave it here for you, and just bullet point some of my favourite highlights, below:
Episode 29: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Damian Mark Smyth
0:00
/2651.06285
1×
OMG I *love* this episode!! Highlights for me were:
- His description of OCD from the inside of it all
- How this human-made, diagnostic label of a ‘dis-order’ wasn't actually a thing
- How he binged a whole load of [Syd Banks materials](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com), looking for answers, and got precisely nowhere
- The way it was only when he was a bit hungover and not even really *capable* of trying to ‘get it’ intellectually that something really landed (you'll have to listen in, to hear the big insight that changed everything for him)
- How he didn't have to ***do*** anything for the OCD symptoms to go away – they just ‘didn't make sense’ any more
- Finally, his assertion—like mine, in the [previous post](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-writing-about-conditions/)—that the symptoms themselves are ***never*** the problem.
## Conclusion
So there we go – just a ‘bit more’ on OCD (two whole posts!) that nonetheless will quite possibly come as a bit of a disappointment to the seeking Reader Ego Construct 📦 … as we point *away* from these patterns of behaviour, not deeper *into* them.
Both Samantha and Damian found their way through it all, not by [trying](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/) harder; not by doing *more* research or reading *more* about the condition, but essentially by doing *less*:
- Samantha by stopping the search for ‘something to get back to’
- Damian when he was a bit hungover and frankly incapable of intellectually wrestling any sense out of it!
😂
There's a message in there somewhere.
I'll leave you to find it for yourself… but don't try *too* hard, eh?
😘
Giles
p.s. If you recognise yourself in either of these stories and you're curious (or even a teeny bit excited) at the possibility of change, then [get in touch](mailto:dr@gilespcroft.com). Working 1:1, *with* people, to get through these things is what I do – what I *love* to do! Not teaching techniques, raking over the past or giving you *more* to do… just the kind of conversation that points in a more useful direction. You know, [upstream](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-upstream/) 🌊😮☺️
### Related
[Looking upstream 🔖The benefits and drawbacks of different modalities used to address mental health conditions. (Premium Written & Audio Content.)The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-upstream/)
### Don't forget to have fun
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/dont-forget-to-have-fun/
Last updated: 2026-03-26T07:00:34.000Z
My page a day calendar too good not to share with you today:
You **might* be able to [still get one](https://amzn.to/4uQF1SW?ref=gilespcroft.com), but I don't fancy your chances.
#### Don't Forget to Have Fun
> *“When you look back on your life, it's very likely that you won't be asking yourself how much money you made or how many possessions you managed to collect.*
> *Nor will you see the purpose of life as being the collection of achievements or even the fulfilment of your goals.*
> *What you will see is that the purpose of life was to be kind and living, to grow, and to give back to others.*
> *You will have plenty of regrets if you forget to have fun, and probably none if you do not.”*
💝
Giles
### Related
[“Remember to have fun!”More two-wheeled lessons on the inside-out nature of life 🚲The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/remember-to-have-fun/)
A look at how it's possible to have fun, even when everything's a bit sh\*t.
### Open loops
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/open-loops/
Last updated: 2026-03-25T07:00:45.000Z
The other day, when I was writing about getting stuff [off your mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-it-off-your-mind/), and [neat little tricks](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-praise-of-faux-planning/) to do so, I mentioned:
> *“…‘*open loop*’ grief that just seems to lower the mood…”*
And it dawned on me afterwards that you might not know what I mean by that term.
‘Open loop’ is something I first heard in David Allen's book [Getting Things Done](https://amzn.to/4t6r7ue?ref=gilespcroft.com), and it makes such sense from a 3 Principles perspective, that it immediately stuck, and has become part of the furniture, really.
Simply put, an open loop is any task we have committed to do (or have noticed needs doing) that we have not done one of two things for:
1. Completed
2. Assigned to a trusted system
Until we do either of those, it remains ‘open’ in our poor little mind, which will try its best to remember it and keep it active *until* we do one of those two things. Because it needs doing, yeah?
And we all know what that feels like, don't we?
😩
I used to share this simple, obvious little fact with audiences when I spoke about [Productivity](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/productivity/) at big conferences, because the story David relates in the book—of walking from one end of the house to the other, noticing reminders of every open loop as you pass by, and having a broken heart (or spirit) by the time you reach your destination—is just too on the nose to even be funny.
Of course, he has a ‘trusted system’ to sell you and who can blame him – in the large it's so simple, it works! Although I am by no means a disciple, it makes such sense that I still use [an app](https://culturedcode.com/things/support/articles/6378414/?ref=gilespcroft.com) now, and the basic underlying premise of his GTD™ system to organise all my work.
The observant among you will notice *how* those two actions above work, and why it's so pertinent to the inside-out understanding…
That's right: it gets stuff off your mind.
It helps you to [think less, and live more](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/).
🙌🏻
Giles
### Related
[Productivity - The Daily RemindersConquering procrastinating and achieving more by ‘doing’ less. Being less enslaved by goals, by relaxing into flow 💻The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/productivity/)
Feeling like you want to boost yours? Here are all posts tagged with ‘[Productivity](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/productivity/)’
### Not writing about conditions
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-writing-about-conditions/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T15:37:36.000Z
I put a shout out to subscribers about what topics they might want me to look into, and got a response:
> *“Perhaps a bit more on OCD (I know not a favoured word in* [*3P*](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com)*)”*
The request—*“Perhaps a bit more on OCD”*—immediately got sent to the [back burner](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-problems-on-the-back-burner/) (rather than turning into a Daily Reminder), and I found myself wondering more about the second bit of the sentence—*“not a favoured word”*—instead.
Because it occurred to me that I don’t tend to write that much about specific conditions (or ‘patterns of behaviour’ shall we say)… which could be construed as ‘not favoured’ by me, either.
And I’ve spent more time wondering about *that*, than thinking about OCD itself 😆
## The origin of diagnoses
The answer lies in the image below. From the first time of reading this, from [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/), it made total sense to me:
[](https://gilespcroft.link/carlson-happy/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Lifted from [You Can Be Happy No Matter What](https://gilespcroft.link/carlson-happy/?ref=gilespcroft.com) (Recommended+++++)
Given that the entirety of our felt experience of life, in each moment, is being [created from thought-perception](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/), then it makes sense that the *quality* of that experience is going to be determined by how we *relate* to that thought/feeling creation.
Put very simply, at one end of this spectrum (seeing thought-perception as [real but not true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/)) we find unobstructed innate ‘mental health’ and at the other end of it (seeing thought-perception as gospel, going unquestioned) we find the *same* innate mental health that's clouded by a ‘dis-ordered’ relationship to thinking.
🔑
****Key Message**: Mental Health is innate and unchanging.
How that ‘dis-order’ shows up is unique to each of us, because we’ve all got different genetics and had different upbringings (i.e. nature and nurture). But of course we also have shared mythological learnings—like [maps we use](https://www.gilespcroft.com/update-your-map-version/)—as a species, and as cultures *within* that species, so inevitably we will encounter observable, similar patterns of ‘dis-ordered’ behaviour.
And here in the 21st Century Western World, that translates to ‘diagnoses’. Of which OCD (‘Obsessive-Compulsive Dis-order’ ) is one.
## Simplicity vs. Detail
If we look dispassionately at all of this we'll see that:
- Things *begin* with **how we relate to the thought/feeling creation** (i.e. this is what lies *upstream)*
- And **how dis-order shows up**, or the pattern of behaviour that we call a ‘diagnosis’, is the *end-product* of that (i.e. symptoms lie *downstream* of our relationship to thought)
It therefore makes sense—if we want to see a change in the dis-order, diagnosis, or symptoms—to look not at the dis-order itself, but at **where it's coming from**.
Getting a better relationship to our thinking in general, is not only a more effective approach to mental health conditions, it's a lot more simple, too! (I am a simple chap.)
That's why [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) said:
> *“Look for simplicity. Simplicity always holds the key you're looking for. And that key… it opens the door to wisdom.”*
But of course, here in the 21st Century Western World—the world of psychiatrists, therapists, self-help, social media ‘experts’ & personal development—we have a tendency to look more and more at the detail, trying to [manage our behaviour](https://www.gilespcroft.com/stop-trying-to-change-your-behaviour/), using ever more complex tools and techniques (and drugs).
We're looking in the wrong direction, and I can pretty much guarantee that anyone who comes to me with one such diagnosis, has become a real expert in it themselves. They'll know all about the detail, and will have done a ton of reading, researching and thinking about it… when (unfortunately; innocently) that's the very thing that's holding it in place.
## Not favoured vs. Not helpful
So when it comes to very real, very debilitating conditions like OCD, it's not so much that talking about it or addressing it is frowned upon, or ‘not favoured’, it's just that it's not actually that helpful.
Directing our attention to the end product; to the diagnosis; to the behaviour or the ‘problem’ and [trying to make changes](https://www.gilespcroft.com/stop-trying-to-change-your-behaviour/) from there is utterly futile, and will keep us stucker than a stuck thing covered in velcro.
💡
To realise change, we look ***for** what it is we want (i.e. Innate Health), rather than ***at** what it is we don't want (i.e. dis-order).
All that said… in the next Daily Reminder, I'm going to look at a real life example of someone who ‘overcame’ OCD when they were introduced to the Innate Health/3 Principles understanding.
But this needed saying first: a bit of contextual [FOUNDATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/foundations/) for you.
Stay tuned!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Continue reading
[“A bit more on OCD”Two change stories detailing what happens when you look \*away\* from mental dis-order 💗The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-bit-more-on-ocd/)
Part 2 of 2 on the topic of OCD
### In praise of (faux) planning
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-praise-of-faux-planning/
Last updated: 2026-04-07T23:26:25.000Z
The other day I wrote about how ‘[getting stuff off your mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-it-off-your-mind/)’ is a nice little guiding light when it comes to doing something like choosing a way to tackle life’s difficulties.
The piece was written from the perspective of getting help from a professional, but it occurred to me after writing it, that this ‘nice little guiding light’ applies to *everything*.
(That’s the power of principles: they apply to everything, [all the time](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-gravity-sometimes-didnt-work/).)
## Scheduling stuff
So, for instance, when it comes to writing the Daily Reminders, I’ll have a long list of things I *could* write about. (I keep a [Trello](https://trello.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) board on the go that I drop ideas into, as they occur to me.)
And I’ve noticed something about this.
If I *don’t* plan, or schedule what I’m going to write in advance—even if it’s just one or two—the mind really objects to that. It gives me grief. Not so much the in-your-face, worrying-about-it kind of mind grief, but more that low-level, heavy sort of *Oh-and-there’s-also-this-I-haven’t-attended-to-yet* ‘open loop’ grief that just seems to lower the mood, generally.
And it’s important to note that I don’t have a choice in the way the mind responds to this situation. I can’t muscle my way into thinking (or feeling) differently, or reason with the mind; try and get it to see logic and simmer down (that has a tendency to [make matters worse](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-peril-of-positive-self-talk/).)
No, what I have to do is [work with the mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/) and take some action.
The good news is, it’s a really simple action. I literally sit down for five minutes with Trello, have a scan through the list of ideas and move them from one column (‘Ideas’) into another (‘Write next’), in the order I’d like to write them in.
That’s it. Nothing more complicated. Once I’ve done that, an invisible weight comes off my shoulders and my day seems a lot easier; a lot lighter.
But the bit that always makes me laugh is the fact that I often *don’t* end up writing about those things I’ve scheduled!!
😂
## The power of thought
Again, we’re back to how-the-mind-works and how best to beat it at its machinations.
Because if the entirety of our experience boils down to:
- being in the flow of life, vs.
- being in the flow of life, while distracted from it by mind-activity
…then this little act of what we’ll call ‘faux-planning’ simply gives the mind permission to shut up for a bit, so I can get on with the business of living.
And then write about whatever the hell I want to write about, when the time comes.
😁
It ***all*** comes down to getting stuff off your mind.
So my question to you, today, here at the beginning of the week, is this:
📆
What are you going to get off your mind, by taking action on it?
🚀
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Being realGetting schooled by life. Again. To see why ‘feeling bad’ is such a gift. 💝The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-real/)
In which I take planning too far… and suffer the consequences.
### Always creating
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/always-creating/
Last updated: 2026-03-22T07:00:36.000Z
I visited a friend’s house and they had a splendid mini-library in their downstairs loo. I picked up a tiny little tome called [*In Beauty May I Walk*](https://amzn.to/4bnXyyl?ref=gilespcroft.com)*: Words of Wisdom by Native Americans.*
This one really grabbed me:
> ***We are all creators.***
> ***We breathe.***
> ***To speak is to form breath***
> ***And to make manifest sound***
> ***Into the world.***
> ***As I write I create myself***
> ***Again and again.***
> ***Re-Create.***
> ***And breathe.***
> ***And I see that I am not***
> ***One voice, but many:***
> ***All colours,***
> ***All sounds***
> ***All fears***
> ***All loves.***
> \~ Joy Harjo, Creek.
It’s one of the Key Messages I share with clients and groups I work with:
🔑
****Key Message**: We are CREATIVE beings.
You can’t stop the creative process, because every moment you’re alive, the experience you’re having is being *created* from within.
Every word, every breath, every movement, every thought, every feeling – it’s *all* creation.
Let it flow!
💖
Giles
### Related
[Creativity is endlessIt’s just not something that can, or will, ever dry up 🌊The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creativity-is-endless/)
### Get it off your mind
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-it-off-your-mind/
Last updated: 2026-03-21T07:00:21.000Z
Due to the circles in which I move, the interests I have, and the work I do—wellbeing, mental health, ‘restorative’ coaching—my algorithmic social media feeds (especially Twitter/X) show me lots more of this kind of thing.
Which means a lot of disagreement! Platforms like this thrive on ‘discourse’ (I’m being generous with my wording here), and there’s always a ‘healthy’ (ditto) debate about what’s best for clients, and for people in general.
It makes sense, because in the world of wellbeing and mental health, everyone’s trying to help and there are a bazillion different ways of *offering* that help. There’ll be successful elements to all of them (even if it’s just via a placebo effect) and so everyone’s pretty bullish on what their ‘[one solution](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-one-solution/)’ is, heartily recommending it, because it does indeed work.
To a degree.
That ‘degree’, I have seen, is what impact it ultimately has on the only thing we ever get to experience: thought. That’s the [only relationship](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/) we have in our lives, and it’s the source of 100% of our feelings in any given moment, so it makes sense to address that, first and foremost.
To choose something that ‘gets stuff off our minds’.
So whatever actions we’re going to take to address the problems that we see in our lives, really the only question we have to ask ourselves is,
🤔
Is this going to help me think less, and live more?
Someone asked me recently whether I think they should have therapy, and my response was the same: d’you think that unpicking the past with a professional past-unpicker will help you to think less, and live more?
If so, go for it. If you think it’ll lead to more introspection, don’t!
The same goes for ‘getting a diagnosis’, finding a community who share your experience, [taking up a hobby](https://www.gilespcroft.com/correlation-and-causation/), or changing [career](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/careers/). I don’t have any particular angle on *any* of these things, other than asking you to be honest about whether or not that’s likely to get things off your mind… or, conversely, have you going deeper into the detail (and [thinking *more*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/#:~:text=Some%20things%20that%20fall%20into%20the%20the%20%E2%80%98think%20more%2C%20live%20less%E2%80%99%20camp)).
It’s why having a deep grounding in the [principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/) behind how we experience life is so helpful. It means you go into every life situation with your eyes wide open.
And in getting that ‘deep grounding’—really resting in the immutable truth that [Now](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-living-life-now/) is the only thing you *ever* get—you might discover that what you seek is [already within you](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-wisdom-comes-from/)…
…and other tools and techniques and therapies make less sense.
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Interested to try something that doesn't involve raking through the past, or learning a bunch of time-consuming tools and rituals?
An ****Innate Health** approach could be for you. It's straightforward, lighthearted and helps you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Related
[Work with the mind, not against it‘Think less, live more’ is the only toolkit you’ll ever need 🧰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)
It's your battle-cry! 😉
### Where wisdom comes from
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-wisdom-comes-from/
Last updated: 2026-03-20T07:00:58.000Z
The other day I wrote [a piece about insights](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/) – how they're different from intellectual knowledge and how they come to us from *outside* of our current understanding of things.
*(Between you and me I was very pleased with the image I created for that one! 🤣)*
And I can tell you, it's bloody hard to write about such things… specifically *because* what we’re talking about lies outside of our frame of reference. We’re using the tools of the left brain (separation, language, categorisation) to describe something that’s essentially formless. An ‘unknown unknown’ as I put it.
*(Case in point: the image of the* [*Thought System floating*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/) *in space. I had racked my brains for a suitable image to denote ‘unknown unknowns’ and all the Giles Ego Construct 📦 could come up with from its filing system was pictures of question marks, or—worse still—an image of Donald Rumsfeld! 😱 And then when I stopped trying and got on with something else, this visual imagery popped into my head. Form, from formless, you see?)*
## Asking Syd
The good news is, there was someone who became rather good at this whole pointing-to-the-formless malarkey, and that of course is Sydney Banks. The Scottish welder, seeker and latter day mystic, without whose insights the Daily Reminders would not exist. (Most of my teachers in recent times have been students of his, directly or indirectly.)
So when I was writing that piece the other day, I pulled his book [*The Missing Link*](https://sydneybanks.com/product/the-missing-link/?ref=gilespcroft.com)off the shelf, to see what nuggets of wisdom it contained, on the topic of insight.
Most of Syd’s books were written in novel form ([*The Enlightened Gardener*](https://sydneybanks.com/product/the-enlightened-gardener/?ref=gilespcroft.com) pair are my favourites, and not just because the first has a quote from [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/) on its cover!) but *The Missing Link* is different. Subtitled *Reflections on Philosophy & Spirit*, it’s one to keep at arm’s reach and just dip into, to see what will resonate for you today.
There’s no chapter specifically on ‘insight’ but the word is pretty much synonymous with ‘wisdom’ and there’s definitely a chapter on that. You can mentally substitute one for the other, in then passages below, if you like.
Here’s how he articulates this notion of ‘unknown unknowns’ – firstly outlining why I found that Daily Reminder so tricky to write:
> *“No one can give away wisdom. A teacher can only lead you to it via words, hoping you will have the courage to look *within yourself* and find it inside your own consciousness… *Beyond the word*.”*
Yup. I’ve said before, all I’m ever trying to do here at Daily Reminders Central 🏢 is [point you](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/) *towards* something – not tell you *about* something.
## Looking ‘within’
But what does he mean by ‘within yourself’? Doesn’t that mean thinking about stuff? No it doesn’t, and he’s quite specific about this:
> *“Intellectual observation is ego, *after form*. Wisdom is found before the formation of form.”*
So our thinking actually sits in the ‘form’ camp – it might be ethereal and capricious and not ‘true’, but it’s still observable and is something you experience, therefore it has a form.
It was years after I’d come across the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) before this clicked for me. I’d been labouring under the impression that ‘form’ in this context meant something *material*, that I could touch, but it doesn’t. That was another insight that shifted my perspective entirely, and had me revisiting all of Syd’s work!
Here again, he’s very clear:
> *“*That which you seek has no form*. If you attempt to put a shape on the formless, you will never find it. Attempt to describe the formless with words, and the word turns the formless into form, creating an illusion and leading you further away from that which you seek.”*
(Honestly, this book is pure gold! 💛)
So in this way, insight, and [solving problems](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-solve-any-problem/) (like what image to put on a Daily Reminder post, or how to talk to your boss or partner without being at loggerheads with them, or how to get out of a persistent emotional state) have nothing to do with ‘racking our brains’ – that’s looking in the wrong direction.
> *“The solutions to outwardly complex problems created by misguided thoughts will not arise from complicated analytical theory, but will emerge as an insight, wrapped in a blanket of simplicity.”*
And here, in the very simplest of terms:
> *“Wisdom brings *common sense to those who find it*.”*
*😙👌🏻*
---
I really do recommend that you sit and read this wonderful book.
- If you already have a copy, pull it down off the shelf and dip into it again.
- If you don’t yet have a copy, [get hold of one](https://amzn.to/4sPClmP?ref=gilespcroft.com).
- And if you can’t afford a copy, the entire thing is [available for free in PDF version](https://sydneybanks.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/Missing-Link-book.pdf?ref=gilespcroft.com) on the Sydney Banks [website](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com).
Last words go to Syd in helping you to remember the caveat, when you’re reading:
> *“Seek without seeking, for what you hope to attain is already within you.”*
💖
Giles
p.s. You might like to go back and read this one again, now → [*How to solve any problem*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-solve-any-problem/).
### Related
[The 3Ps aren’t a thingDon’t look at the finger, pointing to the moon 🌙👈🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/)
### The hope of being wrong
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-hope-of-being-wrong/
Last updated: 2026-03-19T07:00:57.000Z
Ever since the [last love letter I penned](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong-again/) to being wrong, I've had a quote on my mind. Well, not really a quote, it was something that got said on a podcast, and it hit the spot so comprehensively, it's stuck with me ever since.
So I've been doing some detective work and located it for you. I had the pleasure of listening through to [this episode](https://www.jamiesmart.com/026-interview-better-relationships-from-the-inside-out-get-clarity-podcast/?ref=gilespcroft.com) all the way through and it's so good, I'm going to share the whole thing with you.
It's a 45 minute long podcast episode from Jamie Smart, in conversation with Jan and Chip Chipman – two of the loveliest people you could ever hope to meet, both of whom worked directly with Syd Banks, as you'll hear.
The topic is Relationships, but the conversation is wide-ranging (and the [whole of life is relationship](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/), in one way or another, so you're guaranteed to hear something that resonates).
Chip [passed away](https://www.facebook.com/3pconference/posts/pfbid0A2jxkyB5Q29YbCzxm7Gf5D6vATExrW4hYzP6iopjLkbaaYLbufdkRbQgnKrbXLVxl) in December 2024 and is sorely missed. It's lovely that there's so much of his presence and wisdom still available out there. Enjoy the listen, it's a fantastic episode:
Jamie Smart Get Clarity Podcast: 26 Jan & Chip Chipman on Better Relationships
0:00
/2640.781
1×
The line that had me spitting my tea out with mirth was when Jamie's talking about how insight can bring hope to situations *“where there was none before”* and he says,
> *“Hope and humility go hand in hand, because the moment before hope shone a light on the situation, I was sure that how I saw it was right and was ‘the way things were’, and things couldn't change… and part of the hope was, *‘Oh, maybe I'm not as right as I thought I was about this!’*”*
😂🤣
This throwaway sentence had such an impact on me, that in the concluding chapter of the book I'm currently writing, I say:
> *“If you're going to embrace being wrong about something, then perhaps the most hopeful subject of all to choose is where, and when, to find happiness.”*
It's a lot closer than you think.
💝
Giles
---
Premium 🔖 content
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/courses-relationships/)
For ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers** there's a 4-module self-study course on ****Relationships**, with curated materials and additional insights.
[START THE RELATIONSHIPS SELF-STUDY COURSE NOW ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/courses-relationships/)
### Unknown unknowns
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T00:27:58.000Z
I saw an amusing little [post online](https://x.com/finmoorhouse/status/2033312591007658338?ref=gilespcroft.com) yesterday. It shared some poetry, or actually the details of a poetry *lesson:*
> ***“Thinking about the time our high school English teacher gave us a poem to analyse:***
> *As we know,*
> *There are known knowns.*
> *There are things we know we know.*
> *We also know*
> *There are known unknowns.*
> *That is to say*
> *We know that there are some things*
> *We do not know.*
> *But there are also unknown unknowns,*
> *The ones we don't know*
> *We don't know.*
> ***“When we finished she told us it was Donald Rumsfeld's WMD press conference, and that was the class.”***
😂
Now I can actually remember this press conference (from February 12th 2002) and all the hoo-ha surrounding it. Rumsfeld was a very divisive character, we were on the brink of what we, the public (correctly) suspected was an illegal invasion of Iraq, and here *he* was, blathering on about ‘unknown unknowns’.
It seemed in very poor taste at the time. (Crazy how the [Overton window](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overton%5Fwindow?ref=gilespcroft.com) shifts – the majority of today's politicians would have been forced to resign by now, back in the day 🤨)
But, political obfuscation aside, the man wasn't wrong. And ‘unknown unknowns’ is a phrase I find myself returning to again and again, both [here in the Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/working-on-limited-data/) and with clients.
Not from the perspective of unknown facts, or knowledge. (When it comes to transformative life change, more facts & knowledge aren't going to help you one iota, sorry to break it to you.)
No I'm talking about this:
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but ****insight.**
- Seeing something new about the way we experience the world, and who we are.
- Having an experience that allows a layer of innocent misunderstanding to fall away.
- A realisation—the making real—of the principles behind our psychology, and life.
**Insight**—fresh new thought that we've never had before—is what changes things. And that's got *nothing* to with your Thought System 📦 or ‘what you know’ – it's *outside* of all that. It's unknown. An ‘unknown unknown’ because the mind can't even conceive of it.
That’s *why* we’re stuck!
## Examples
I’d invite you to look back on some of the pivotal changes that have happened in your life, and see if you can spot the insight—the fresh, new thought, or ‘change of heart’ you’d not had before—that led to that change.
Here are four that I’ve had in the past. They’re personal, and they’ll possibly seem a bit obvious and quite normal and boring. They might sound like beliefs I have taken on board—something someone has told me, that I’ve chosen to repeat—but none of these required effort. They were all just lightbulb moments. (And I swear to god I’d pass a lie detector test on any of them!)
Some were immediate, others took a while to grow and for me to be able to articulate after the fact. (As Syd Banks said, in [The Missing Link](https://sydneybanks.com/product/the-missing-link/?ref=gilespcroft.com): *“Intellectual observation is ego, *after form*.*”)
All four of these realisations changed the course of my life.
1. You don’t *need* to change a situation at all, in order to have a totally different experience of it. (The start of this work I do, and a foreshadowing of #2)
2. My reactions/emotions aren’t being caused by other people or situations, they’re coming from Thought. (The [inside-out ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/)penny properly dropped.)
3. There’s [*nothing* wrong with me](https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-me/). (That was a biggie! You are free to disagree.)
4. A world exists in which I can be utterly [disinterested in alcohol](https://www.gilespcroft.com/abstainiversary/). (Huge practical implications.)
Like I say, if you’d *tried* to get me to believe any of these, it wouldn’t have worked. They all came about through ‘looking in this direction’ (the Innate Health understanding) and fulfilling my [3 basic criteria for change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/):
- **Showing up** (I was reading books and listening to podcasts, and eventually having my own coaching)
- **Being present** (I’d been primed to ‘[listen for insight](https://www.gilespcroft.com/listening-for-performance/)’, so that’s how I was listening, not for information)
- **Staying open-minded**.
It’s the last of those three that’s the most important… and when you think about it, what is it that we're staying ‘open-minded’ *to?*
**Unknown unknowns**.
It’s the very definition!
💟
Giles
p.s. the whole *‘Isn’t that just belief?’* thing is why I’m always encouraging people to [get their own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/) for what I’m pointing to – I’m not trying to get you to believe anything! – something I wrote about in a previous Daily Reminder: [*This is not a philosophy*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-not-a-philosophy/)*.*
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Necessary ingredients for changeThe three things everybody needs, to get the change they want, whatever it is 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)
### If the disease is in you…
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/if-the-disease-is-in-you/
Last updated: 2026-03-17T18:31:14.000Z
I tried out the Douglas Adams-inspired [Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency](https://www.netflix.com/title/80119426?ref=gilespcroft.com) on Netflix. I've always loved the quirky irreverence of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and if I remember correctly I also read the Dirk Gently books, back in my youth.
My tastes have clearly changed a little, because even though I thoroughly enjoyed the 4-episode adaptation from 2010, I'm finding this latest ‘interpretation’ a little *too* off the wall for me.
But there's a line in episode one that had me chuckling away as a real pointer to the inside-out understanding: i.e. how the mind makes totally innocent, but [wrong-headed connections](https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitious-thinking/) between what it thinks of as the ‘outside’ (situations) and the ‘inside’ (how we feel), that it then sets up as a rule… which can go unquestioned, thereby limiting our lives.
They've given one of the characters a completely made up disease, for dramatic purposes. It's called ‘Pararibulitis’ and is described as *‘a nerve disease that causes sufferers to experience vivid, painful hallucinations.’*
The character—Amanda—is telling Dirk Gently (who she's just met) all about what happens in her perceptions for her, when she has an attack, and mentions that she rarely leaves the house.
He expresses concern—it sounds like a terrible thing to have to go through—and then I love the total innocence with which he asks this question:
0:00
/0:12
1×
From Season 1, Episode 1 on [Netflix](https://www.netflix.com/title/80119426?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“If the disease is in you… why does it matter where you go?”*
He'd make an excellent Innate Health coach, asking dumb-ass questions like that.
😂
Giles
### Related
[Superstitious thinkingThe roots of what is keeping us stuck today lie in the innocence of yesterday ❤️🩹The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitious-thinking/)
How it all starts.
### Anticipating vs. panicking
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/anticipating-vs-panicking/
Last updated: 2026-03-16T07:00:06.000Z
Every day, in all sorts of normal situations, there's something that points to the deeper workings of the mind. Something that helps us to unlock the inner strength, resilience, wisdom and creativity that are *always* there (even when it looks like they're not).
That's why (and how!) I can write these Daily Reminders each day. And to encourage you to [get your own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/) for that inner resourcefulness, too!
## *People get paid to do that?!*
In another realisation from the *Huh-people-get-paid-to-do-that?!* series, I spotted an article on Twitter with the subtitle:
> *‘Here's how therapists help pro cyclists reframe lung-burning, leg-zapping pain.’*
I had a read, and discovered a *‘Secret 3-Step Plan’* (their words, not mine), that *‘Helps Pro Cyclists Suffer Better Than You’* and basically amounted to:
🤷♂️
****Stop taking your thinking so damn seriously.**
My first thought? I'm in the wrong business!
🤦🏻♂️ 😆
I mean I suppose it's great that this is someone's job (The Giles Ego Construct 📦 is green with envy, basically) and it's necessary at the top level of sport, but really, come on, this stuff just all flows *naturally*, when you have a deeper understanding of what the mind's doing, and why.
You don't need a *‘Secret 3-Step Plan’* that you won't remember, tomorrow!
## Anticipating vs. panicking
Case in point. I'm on the indoor ‘[turbo trainer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicycle%5Ftrainer?ref=gilespcroft.com)’, and I've planned to suffer some *“lung-burning, leg-zapping pain.”*
(We're an odd bunch, us cyclists. Just go with it, because what I'm about to tell you has a much wider relevance for you.)
The menu of pain: grey/blue is easy, red/orange is hard
You can see, it's a structured workout. My indoor trainer is clever, in that it automatically increases the resistance during those intervals, so that I have to pedal much harder for the red/taller bits. There's no *avoiding* the hard bits, or slacking off for them, because the smart trainer does it all.
This kind of information, when you're setting out on a session, is invaluable. **Anticipation** is a really useful mind-skill we've evolved. It means that as a human, I can plan and prepare how much fluid I'll need, whether or not I need to have some food next to me, how my effort will be measured, let my wife know when I'll be back in action etc.
But this is the curious bit. Being human—having a mind—as each of the harder bits is looming, or has just started, it starts to **panic**. Every single time! (I'm not in control of what my mind does, or says.)
So it immediately projects into the future and creates a story of what it's going to feel like (the [two basic things a mind does](https://www.gilespcroft.com/dad-id-never-have-guessed-this-would-be-happening/)) and tells me, in no uncertain terms, that this is going to be a really bad situation that we don't want to be in, and that we should stop now, before it happens.
RING ANY BELLS?!
😆
## What to do with a panicking mind
This happens all the time, for all of us, in pretty much all situations. It's completely normal and it doesn't mean there's anything remotely wrong with you.
**It means you're alive, and you have a mind.**
In terms of what to do… well, coming back to the turbo trainer example, I can tell you what I *didn't* do: go to my bookmarks folder on my computer and dig out the *‘Secret 3-Step Plan’* I'd read about earlier 🤣
🔑
****Key Message**: Resilience is our inbuilt capacity to fall out of our thinking and back into the Now.
The *experience* of panic is thought-created, and the only time it ever makes sense to *be* with that sensation, is when I've forgotten that simple fact. I mean, I *can* panic, I suppose, but it's going to affect my performance!
So as soon as I'd spotted what the mind was up to (using the feeling I was in, as a guide), it no longer made any sense to stay with the panic.
It made sense to let go of the tension, and be with the sensations of the moment – the turning pedals, [relaxed shoulders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice/#:~:text=Let's%20make%20it%20memorable), deep breaths.
And just do the ride.
---
Anticipation of, and planning for, future events is fine. Helpful. Necessary even!
Panic however… that's optional.
💟
Giles
### Related
[You don’t have to stop planningBeing present does \*not\* mean stopping planning. That’s more mind-talk 🙄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-have-to-stop-planning/)
More on the juicy goodness of planning… and remaining present to the consequences.
### You won't believe your eyes
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-wont-believe-your-eyes/
Last updated: 2026-04-07T23:30:02.000Z
I stumbled across this visual illusion yesterday, and it's too good not to share.
Just settle in for a couple of minutes and make sure you watch it with the explanatory commentary (sound) on. Its taken from an award-winning kids TV programme called [*The Curiosity Show*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The%5FCuriosity%5FShow?ref=gilespcroft.com) that aired in Australia in the 1970's and 80's.
It's impossible not to be impressed by the Ames Window illusion! 😲
0:00
/2:01
1×
Go on – **tell* your mind to see it differently! There's the pen, dammit! 🫠
I mean… WHAT?!?!?!
🪟✒️✨♾️🤯
LOL.
## More than just a trick
And why do I share this with you, this morning?
Because it points to something absolutely fundamental in our lives: that while the experience we have of the world is *real* (we feel it; it's happening, no denying that) it's *not true*.
Just like this very simple, but bafflingly impossible Ames Window you've just seen, your experience of life is essentially being *made up by the mind*.
🤯
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality.
So it really [looks like](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/) we're directly experiencing some sort of objective reality, but we're not – it all comes to us *indirectly*, via the [Principle of Thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/).
**100% of it, no exceptions.**
So whatever (or whoever) you're struggling with right now—even if it looks like it's ‘you’ that's at the root of your troubles—you can relax.
Because that ‘struggle’, while certainly real, is not true. It's made of thought.
It won't *look* like that, of course. (You just tried to force your mind to see this video above differently, aptly demonstrating to yourself that [you can't not see an illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/).) So no, the struggle will *look* true and fixed and insoluble.
But, being made of thought—like *everything* we experience—it's not. Thought can change at the drop of a hat, which means the struggle can, too. That's the power of [insight](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/)!
Sure shines some more light on this wonderful [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) quote, doesn't it?
> *“The happiness you're looking for is inside you. It really is. That's where mental health lies. Everybody—everybody—is only *one thought away* from whatever you're looking for.”*
Have a peaceful day's ‘making stuff up’.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[You can’t not see an illusionThe all-important difference between waking up \*from\* the dream, and \*to\* the dream 💭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)
### How to enjoy sad music
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-enjoy-sad-music/
Last updated: 2026-03-14T07:00:57.000Z
A little bit of Saturday silliness for you.
I was walking down the street, headphones in, listening to an album I love, playing it pretty loud. It's a side-project from the DJ/electronic music pioneer [BT](https://btmusic.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). He got together with his buddy Christian Burns and they made a synthpop album entirely on old analogue machines. You can listen to it here, on Bandcamp:
[‡, by All Hail The Silence14 track albumAll Hail The SilenceCallum Gray](https://allhailthesilence.bandcamp.com/album/-?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Not one single computer was used in the making of this album 😲
Now, if like me, you're a fan of catchy, upbeat, keyboard-based music with melody and memorable hooks, then you're in for a real treat, but there's one caveat: the lyrics are a bit miserable.
I've [written before](https://www.gilespcroft.com/be-less-bob/) about how I've lost interest in listening to music that has a bunch of depressing lyrics (new Cure album – I'm looking at you!) because I don't feel the need to *relate* to any of that any more. I'm no longer an angst-ridden 20-something year old who sees pain and misery and heartbreak everywhere.
So my eyes were rolling a bit when I listened to the vocals on this otherwise brilliant album, especially when I read this, in a review:
> *“With as much of hat tip to the past as the future, ALL HAIL THE SILENCE deliver a swan song of triumphant, unapologetic, next gen electronic music album that captures the essence and angst of 80’s teenage coming of age.”*
😒
## The magical reframe
And then I suddenly remembered this thing you can do, whenever you're confronted with lyrics about lost loves and heartbreak and regretful situations and *woe-is-me-everything-is-sh\*t:*
- don't see it through the lens of a doomed relationship between two *people*, but rather
- reframe the entire thing to be about your *own*, inner relationship to **Thought Realisation** and **Innate Health**, with wisdom running the show and reminding you it's *always* there:
Puts a different slant on lyrics like these, doesn't it?
> *Am I the only one who's lost my way here?*
> *And where do I belong?*
> *And I'll run to you if you crack*
> *If you hit rock bottom*
> *You know I'll be there for you*
> ✦
> *When is the time for lovers?*
> *’Cos I can't take this*
> *One day we'll be together*
> *We'll be running forever*
> *My love, my love*
Ha ha, until today, I'd forgotten how much I enjoy doing this!
😂
It's another thing—just a silly little shift in attention—that gets you looking in the direction of Innate Health… instead of feeling sad about unrequited love or some relationship that went wrong in the past, lol.
💖
Giles
### Related
[Be less BobWhy I no longer really listen to The Cure 🎸The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/be-less-bob/)
### The enlightened scorpion
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-enlightened-scorpion/
Last updated: 2026-03-31T10:14:43.000Z
Me and the child were larking about on the sofa last night—*“Close your eyes!”* she pleads, *“I promise I won't…”* do x, y or z to me in my vulnerable state, and this prompted a telling of the scorpion and the frog parable.
If you haven't heard it, it goes like this:
A scorpion wants to cross the river but can't swim. It asks a frog to take it over, on its back. The frog replies,
> *“No way – you'll sting me and I'll die!”* to which the scorpion responds,
> *“Don't be daft, why would I do that?! I'll drown, if you die!”*
The frog thinks about this, sees the logic, and agrees.
Half way across, the scorpion stings the frog nonetheless, and as they're both sinking, the frog asks the scorpion why it did this, to which the dying scorpion replies,
> *“I couldn't help it. It's in my nature.”*
🦂 🐸 💦 🪦
It's been a long time since I've recalled that, and as I was telling it to my daughter, I was half wondering if there was something *more* to it than this; whether I'd forgotten part of it, because it all just sounded a bit bleak, really.
What are we supposed to learn from *that?!*
(Incidentally, some form of this parable has apparently been shared among humans from [as early as 200BC](https://publikationen.uni-tuebingen.de/xmlui/bitstream/handle/10900/47008/pdf/Arata%5FTakeda%5FBlumenreiche%5FHandelswege.pdf?ref=gilespcroft.com), so it's got legs!)
On the surface of things, it sounds to be a **warning of sorts,** i.e. some people will not respond to logic and reason, but are instead driven *entirely* by their base instincts, even if it's to their own detriment.
*\[Checks Twitter… umm, Yep.\]*
😂
## Reactive vs. Responsive
But before the Reader Ego Construct 📦 starts getting all holier-than-thou, what if there's a deeper meaning to it – one that's kept this fable alive for centuries?
What if **we all have ‘scorpion nature’** within us: our conditioned beliefs / the content of our Thought Systems / ego?
And we can be *unconscious* of this, going through life ‘stinging’ others, innocently enough, never really questioning our ‘nature’ and feeling like we don't have a choice as to how we behave. **Reacting.**
Or we can at the very least be *aware* of how ego will run the show if it goes unquestioned or unchecked.
It is perfectly possible to *see* that [all our behaviours lie downstream of our relationship to thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/), i.e. how attached we are to it in each given moment, and how beholden to ego's needs we are.
*Knowing* this is half the battle, for while we [may not get to choose](https://www.gilespcroft.com/change-to-order/) our behaviours, just being aware that at some point in the process **options *are* on the table**… allows the mind-body to *express* those different options, through the medium of wisdom and common sense. **Responding.**
Somewhere, there's a scorpion sat on a frog's back, *not* stinging it.
Not because it knuckled down and overcame the urge, but because it didn't make sense for the urge to manifest like that in the first place.
💟
Giles
p.s. A trait that would likely be selected for, from an evolutionary perspective. So if you're reading this, well done you for [evolving our species](https://www.gilespcroft.com/part-of-evolution/)! 😉😆
### Related
[Behaviour stems from beliefThe fact it happens is obvious. The implications… less so 🤓The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/)
Don't take my word for it – get your own evidence!
### How to solve any problem
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-solve-any-problem/
Last updated: 2026-08-31T23:59:36.000Z
Working as an Innate Health coach, people generally come to me to help them solve problems.
Whether it's a habit or behaviour that's limiting their life, a feeling of being stuck; having trouble sleeping or inter-personal difficulties; being overwhelmed by strong emotions; chronically over-thinking; struggling with workload or productivity or just life in general, the question always boils down to:
> *“How do I change this, Giles?”*
And I'm pretty certain I can indeed help, *whatever* the problem is.
Not because I know what the solution is—I honestly don't have a clue, and shy away from [offering advice](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) at all costs!—but rather because of what problems actually *are*, and where solutions come from.
## What are problems?
If we take a trip to dictionary corner and look up the etymology of the word ‘problem’, we find this:
📖
****Problem**: from ***pro** *:* ‘forward’ + ***ballein** *:* ‘to throw, or reach’
So, at the most fundamental level, a problem is the mind, observing a situation (let's call this ‘A’), measuring it up against all of its conditioned beliefs about how things ‘should’ (🚩) be (we'll call this ‘B’), finding it lacking, then [fishing around in the past](https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/) to ‘throw, or reach’ that old data into a future that, naturally, it can't control.
But that it thinks it has to arrange in a particular way, ‘in order’ for you to be ok.
(When [you're *already* ok](https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-ok-whatever/).)
It doesn't know how you're going to get from ‘A’ to ‘B’, it [thinks that *it* has to do it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-cant-do-it/) all, and hey presto, you've got yourself a ‘problem’.
🤷🏻♂️
## Where do solutions come from?
Keeping it *really* simple and remembering that our *entire* experience, from birth to death, consists of moments, where we're either:
- *in* the flow of life and present to that, or
- in the flow of life and at the same time being *distracted* from that, by what the mind is saying *about* life
…then the answer to that question becomes a bit clearer.
Because we've established that the solutions don't come from ‘what the mind is saying’ (that's old, stale, very [limited data](https://www.gilespcroft.com/working-on-limited-data/)) so, logically, the solutions we seek can not lie in *thinking* analytically about our problems.
They therefore *must* come from being present to life itself, *without* the distraction of the mind's commentary.
## But we can't just *not* think, can we?!
Ugh, minds and their ceaseless objections to what they don't understand! 🙄
(It's ok, I've got one too.)
Of course we can't *not* think. Thought is one of the necessary [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) of experience. Without thought there is no experience to be had!!
But (and this is such a big ‘but’, I'm going to give it a little box of its own)…
💡
While fresh new solutions are delivered to us through the **medium* of thought, these solutions don't **originate* from the analytical mind.
The true *source* of solutions, is life-energy itself (‘Universal Mind’ in 3 Principles terms); ‘wisdom’, ‘common sense’, ‘intuition’, ‘grace’, or ‘insight’ if we're really into using labels today.
So we solve our problems by going back to basic principles. By knowing where to look. By using the [right tool for the job](https://www.gilespcroft.com/right-tool-for-the-job/); something I wrote about in a previous Daily Reminder that I'll link to below.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Right tool for the jobMaking decisions is just as much about knowing what \*not\* to do ✋🏼The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/right-tool-for-the-job/)
‘Problem-solving’ / ‘Decision-making’, same-same.
### Do you know what mood you're in?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-know-what-mood-youre-in/
Last updated: 2026-08-03T10:14:40.000Z
I continue to read Linda & George Pransky's excellent book [*Unbreak Your Heart*](https://amzn.to/4cBGy8R?ref=gilespcroft.com), which is all about relationships. The subtitle is *For Couples Who Don't Want To Break Up* and in a way I wish they'd called it something else, because while it would definitely be of use to people in such a situation, really it's about relationships in general:
- Parent-child
- Family members
- Work colleagues
…anyone you interact with on a regular basis, and have to get on with, basically.
It gets a strong recommendation from me. It's so jam-packed with good old fashioned common sense, it's super-helpful to humans full stop, and you shouldn't be put off reading it, just because you're not thinking of splitting up with your partner sometime soon! Check it out:
[Unbreak Your Heart | For Couples Who Don’t Want to Break Up by Linda & George Pransky, PhDDiscover ‘Unbreak Your Heart’ by Linda & George Pransky, PhD—a compassionate guide for couples who want to heal and reconnect, without breaking up. Learn how to rebuild your relationship from the inside out and find lasting love.Pransky & Associates](https://www.pranskyandassociates.com/unbreak-your-heart?ref=gilespcroft.com)
## Mood-awareness
Anyway, I just got to the chapter on dealing with irritations, and they start talking about how moods affect the way that irritations look. They state, quite simply:
> *“Just like our thinking can drop when our spirits drop, how you respond to irritations can be stronger when you are in a low mood.”*
💡 Useful to know!
They then explain how irritations are a *“barometer for your mood”* – i.e. the ‘irritating’ behaviour doesn't *change*, but we are bothered more, or less by a behaviour, depending on our state of consciousness in that moment.
(It's [inside-out](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) 101! And one of the reasons I rate this book so highly.)
But the bit that really grabbed me was when they mentioned a client who told them that she's mostly unaware of her mood, *unless she's driving*, in which case she's totally in tune with where she's at:
- easily annoyed about how fast or slow other people are going → Low mood 🚨
- smiling at other drivers, letting them in before her → Good mood 😀
I love that she could identify this, in a low-stakes environment, because it's when the stakes are raised that this awareness really comes into its own.
## Why is this important?
Because the way you see the world, and situations and other people is a function of your level of consciousness.
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality.
Just like I pointed out in [yesterday's Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-fallibility-of-memory/):
- In a **low mood** → things naturally look worse, we're more easily irritated, and we take everything really personally (i.e. interactions are **ego-driven**)
- In a **better mood** → we're not so reactive to situations, see things from a loftier perspective and don't take things personally (i.e. interactions are **love-driven**)*.*
And don't forget, there are *two* of you in every interaction, each either coming from a place of [ego, or from love](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-need-to-manage-your-experience/#:~:text=Ego%20or%20Love?,-I%20think%20the).
It's like this is going on all the time:
And being in tune with where you're at on this scale (and consequently where they're at) is absolutely essential if you're going to keep from falling out and having ego protect its turf by doubling down on all its insecurities.
(Usually with shouting, or tears.)
This is one of those super-simple things that makes a really big difference to your everyday life. Because we can learn to distrust our low-mood thinking, and ‘let cooler heads prevail’.
As Richard Carlson says, in a section of [one of his books](https://gilespcroft.link/carlson-happy?ref=gilespcroft.com) entitled **Don't Try to Solve Your Problems in a Low Mood**:
> *“Respect the power of a low mood… you won't see things differently while you are in one. But you can learn to distrust yourself and the thoughts you generate when you wind up in a low mood.*
> *“If a genuine problem exists when you're low, don't worry – it will still be there when your mood level goes up. And when it does, you will be better equipped to deal with it.”*
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Double low mood alert!These two counter-intuitive things to do when you’re both in a state, will change \*everything\* ❤️🩹The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/double-low-mood-alert/)
Practical advice for what to do when you spot it.
### The fallibility of memory
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-fallibility-of-memory/
Last updated: 2026-03-10T07:00:12.000Z
We’re watching a TV series that jumps around all over the place in time ([This Is Us](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5555260/?ref%5F=ext%5Fshr%5Flnk&ref=gilespcroft.com), since you ask; highly [recommended](https://www.gilespcroft.com/can-you-handle-it/)), and in one episode they look at everyone’s reactions to the *Space Shuttle* [*Challenger* disaster](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space%5FShuttle%5FChallenger%5Fdisaster?ref=gilespcroft.com), that happened on Tuesday January 29th, 1986.
It’s a pretty emotive episode (in keeping with much of the series) – both me and my wife were kids when the disaster happened, and can remember how we felt, and where we were, pretty clearly. Which is amazing, given how long ago it was!
Trouble is, I don’t remember it at all.
My memory of what happened and where I was is completely wrong! I can remember being in a particular playground at a particular school with particular friends and yet, when I check the dates, I’d left that school 2 years previously, and the friends I remember sharing the experience with, were at totally different schools!
😲
It happened again more recently, in a subtly different way. I’ve [written before](https://www.gilespcroft.com/books-write-themselves-like-life/) of my love and respect for Stephen King’s writing, and I ‘remember’ how I got into his books, first reading [*Cujo*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cujo?ref=gilespcroft.com) as a young teenager (because it didn’t look that scary), then thinking, *Oh this horror-book malarkey isn’t all it’s cracked up to be*, and diving straight into [*Salem’s Lot*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/'Salem's%5FLot?ref=gilespcroft.com).
Big mistake. I ‘remember’ not sleeping for months afterwards, and of all his books that I have revisited the thrill of re-reading in recent years, that’s the one I avoided at all costs. I had no desire for sleepless nights again, thank you.
But when a friend re-read it and raved about how good it is, I couldn’t resist, and with great trepidation (and a warm-bodied, very much completely alive wife lying next to me) I bashed through it at bedtime, in the still, small hours, to re-discover that it is indeed very good. I had sleepless nights, only because I could't put it down!
😆
And you know what? It was fine. I didn’t find it scary at all. (And only had slightly weird dreams on the very first night I started reading it, before anything even remotely scary had happened in the book; [trauma working its way out](https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-youre-ready/), harmlessly)
But then… almost as soon as I’d finished the book, a short clip from the Tobe Hooper-adapted, David Soul-starring [TV mini series they made](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079844/?ref=gilespcroft.com) of the film surfaced on Twitter/X and as I watched vampire-children scratching at windows and felt my heart rate instantly shoot through the roof I suddenly realised it wasn’t the *book* that scared me so much, it was the TV series I'd foolishly watched!!
And I hadn’t even ‘remembered’ that they’d *made* that TV series.
🧛🏼♂️
## Why does this happen?
It’s because memory doesn’t work how we think it works.
It looks like there’s this ever-growing filing cabinet we have called a mind, and whenever we recall something, we’re going back to fish out the original file. But, at the risk of over-simplifying things, it’s more like we remember the last time we remember it, and it gets changed over time.
I was first alerted to this curious phenomenon when I watched the TV show [*Quiz*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10228230/?ref=gilespcroft.com), all about the court case for the couple who were accused of cheating on *Who Wants to be a Millionaire?*
I went and looked up the original research and discovered that the clip you’re about to watch is actually based in fact (you can read a review article of the science, [here](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3207113/?ref=gilespcroft.com)):
0:00
/2:30
1×
Link to original [TV series on ITVX](https://www.itv.com/watch/quiz/2a7854?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Choice quote, that jibes perfectly with the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com) understanding:
> ***“All memories are—by definition—a lie.”***
It's fascinating and for me the most critical thing to see here—in addition to us always and *only* ever experiencing a Thought-created perceptual reality, [being created on the fly](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/), as it were—is that each time memory recall happens, **our current state of mind will feed into its re-creation**.
So:
- Recall something in a **low mood** → it naturally looks worse… *and this gets laid down in memory.*
- Recall something in a **higher state of consciousness** → the situation is naturally seen from a different perspective… *and this gets laid down in memory.*
Now I wonder if *that* has any implications for the resolution of past traumatic experiences?!
😳
It certainly brings a deeper appreciation for what Sydney Banks had to say in [*The Missing Link*](https://sydneybanks.com/product/the-missing-link/?ref=gilespcroft.com)*:*
> *“The past is a ghost that cannot be held in the palm of your hand.”*
and…
> *“I do not ask anyone to ignore their past experiences. This would be denial, and denial is not a healthy state. Instead, seek a clearer understanding of the past; realize that the negative feelings and emotions from past traumatic experiences are no longer true. They are merely memories, a collection of old, stale thoughts.”*
and…
> *“The past is dead. Forget what is old and dead, and start life anew.”*
💖
Giles
### Related
[When you’re readyHealing doesn’t always mean an end to experiencing past traumas. It \*does\* mean that experience changes 💗The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-youre-ready/)
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant change? Had enough of struggling with the past and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### You don't need to manage your experience
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-need-to-manage-your-experience/
Last updated: 2026-03-09T07:00:34.000Z
This is something I heard coming out of my mouth, when speaking with a client, who asked me,
> *“What do you mean?”*
I wasn't *entirely* sure, truth be told (it just came out!), and I admit that without context, the statement *‘You don't need to manage your experience’* could very easily be interpreted by a mind as meaning:
💭
Don't ever plan anything. Don't ever let your mind project into the future. Just rock up to each moment that comes along and trust that everything will work out; that wisdom will guide you. Wing it, baby!
Minds, ha! I'm not sure we'd have got very far as a species, if we played it that way.
😆
But when I reflected for a bit, I realised there's a clue to what this statement might mean in that famous [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) quote:
[](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”*
Because the *opposite* of this quote—being afraid of our experience—implies that some degree of management is required, doesn't it? Wouldn't we have to be a bit careful about what we let through our defences, in order not to be harmed in some way?
🤔
The next logical step for me then, would be to ask ask *why* we might ‘be afraid’ of our experience? What is this ‘harm’ that we're avoiding?
And that goes right to the essence of the inside-out understanding, which looks at the nature of experience itself, to see that:
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality.
We're not experiencing an ‘out there’ that's happening *to* us, we're experiencing life, manifesting in thought-perception, coming *through* us.
And, as [Richard Carlson](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard%5FCarlson%5F%28author%29?ref=gilespcroft.com) so beautifully said, in a perfectly delicious extension to the Syd Banks quote:
> ***“Thought, in and of itself, is harmless.”***
Which begs the question… why would we need to manage *that?* If it's harmless, it can just come and go, we can experience whatever thought-feeling constructs that come along, and go about the business of being human.
🙂
### Ego or Love?
I think the easiest route to feeling your way into this idea, is to be in tune with where you're coming from, in your words and deeds.
So if you're about to do something and find yourself bashing up against the question – *Is this me trying to manage my experience?* then just slow down for a moment and ask yourself the question – *Where* [*is this coming from*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-youre-coming-from/)*? Is this ego, or love?*
**Ego** wants or needs something, ‘in order to’ be ok. It needs to have things just to its liking, otherwise ‘bad’ feelings will result. (You could think of this as ‘managing your experience’.)
**Love** doesn't want or need. It knows that however things turn out—whatever experience occurs, and whatever the mind *says* about that experience—your wellbeing is not at risk. There is no ‘in order to’ be ok, because you already *are* ok!
And that requires no management at all.
💝
Giles
### The bus driver
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/
Last updated: 2026-04-07T15:27:13.000Z
Let’s do a little Sunday thought-experiment.
Imagine for a moment that you are an experienced bus driver, taking people to far flung destinations for their holidays. You’re sat behind the wheel of the bus, day in, day out, making sure that this hunk of metal you’re in charge of is going in the right direction, and following all the rules of the road.
Mostly, you’re a considerate driver, attentive to the needs of others, in their own hunks of metal. Very occasionally, because you’re human, you lose your rag, or are in a massive hurry and employ a *‘f\*\*\* you, me first!’* approach, but by and large, you’re measured and polite.
🚌
You’ve been driving this bus for years, and you know what’s what. You’ve been to some *amazing* places, seen some extraordinarily beautiful vistas through the enormous windows in front of you, and given your passengers a great time on their travels.
You are a *good* bus driver. The best, maybe. You’re incredibly proud of your work, and wouldn’t even really want to retire when it comes to it, such is your love of the job.
Most importantly, you’re in charge. The safety of the people on your bus is your responsibility, and yours alone. You call the shots—ain’t no one else can do it!—and it’s your feet on the pedals and your hands on the steering wheel.
I mean, you’re the driver, right?
## The awkward stranger
Then imagine someone comes along and suggests that, unbeknownst to you, the bus is actually autonomous – it drives itself!
🤨
You don’t believe this for a second, obviously. I mean, what a *preposterous* notion! You’re the bus driver, FFS. Don’t they know what that means? It means **you** **drive the bus**.
Anyway, look, you can’t stand around chatting about this nonsense – there are passengers on board and they’re waiting to be taken somewhere. You wish to be left alone, so that you can get on with your driving job. You tell this idiot to please go away.
They don’t. This troublesome, awkward stranger gets on board with you, sits right next to you up front, and keeps talking, much to your dismay.
They ask you to recall times when you’ve been less than attentive when driving, but noticed afterwards that the bus had continued to travel towards its destination, regardless.
I mean, yeah, I suppose… but you were still driving. You were still in control, right?
Right?
Then they remind you of that one time you were so gobsmacked by the scenery that you forgot to drive at all, accidentally taking your hands off the wheel and your feet off the pedals… but strangely, everything continued as normal. (You’d completely forgotten about this – at the time you chalked it up to a freak of nature, and were just relieved that nothing bad had happened.)
Then they go one step further and demonstrate to you, clearly, that the steering wheel is not connected to the *actual* wheels, the pedals don’t do anything when you press on them and the entire time it’s all been an elaborate hoax, intricately designed to give you the seamless experience of being in charge… when in fact you were not.
You never *had* been in control. The driving of the bus and the safety of the passengers was *never* your responsibility 😳
And here's my question to you, dear reader:
🤔
****How do you think you would feel? What might you do?**
## The nihilism trap
Now there’s every chance that you might be *relieved* by this news. After all, driving all the time, keeping the passengers safe and entertained, paying attention to the road, being vigilant, day in, day out, well… it’s enjoyable, but it’s still quite hard work. Quite tiring work, actually.
And if that’s hard, tiring work that you don’t actually *have* to do (you still can’t get your head round the fact that it’s work you *can’t* do, and never *have* done, but you let that slide), well then, this awkward stranger has just demonstrated that it’s not you driving, so you can take some time off, can’t you? Awesome!
So you sit there at the front, arms folded, feet up, with your big windows and their big views and you enjoy the scenery with the rest of the passengers. The bus drives itself, how cool is that?!!
And would you look at that frickin’ sunset!!
🌅😲
But then there’s a small chance—a perfectly understandable one—that you might be just a bit pissed off. Somewhat disenchanted. A little deflated.
After all, for all those years, you were **The Bus Driver**, man! You were *awesome!* You had all the qualifications and you worked hard. You were quite proud of what a *good* bus driver you were – that takes effort and dedication, you know?
You drove people to far-flung destinations, and showed them a good time and had loads of excellent stories and jokes and commentary, and everybody loved you and was really grateful for the excellent service you provided and yet… now you’ve learned that none of it was actually *true.* It was all just one big hoax; a trick of the mind – like one of those [heat-haze mirages](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mirage/) you’ve driven through, so many times.
Honestly? You feel like a total fraud.
😞
So you slope off to the back of the bus with a bit of a hang dog expression on your face, take out your phone and sit there sullenly, refusing to engage with anyone, or even to look out the window at the amazing scenery that’s still going past.
Someone nearby catches you muttering to yourself, and reports back that they heard you complain,
> *“Oh, what’s the point?”*
💔
## The unemployed ego
Believe it or not, dear heart, this is how an ego sometimes reacts when it learns that it’s not actually in control of your wellbeing.
All those years it thought that it was making choices on your behalf, keeping you safe, arranging circumstances to be just so, sorting out goals and working towards them, giving you really great advice—*driving the bus*—and then along comes some awkward stranger who shares the Innate Health understanding and demonstrates that no, it’s not ‘you’ doing all that stuff, it’s life energy. Because there’s nothing else there to be *doing* anything.
All ego ever does, is [observe, and commentate](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/).
And when I say ‘how an ego *sometimes* reacts’ I‘m probably under-selling it, because I think there’s a necessary period of adjustment that we *all* have to go through, when waking up to the true nature of things.
I see my clients hit this wall (a wall made of nothing more substantial than thought, naturally 😉) fairly regularly, and I can remember myself, having gone through the emotions of bewilderment, amazement, relief, elation and enthusiasm, also then hitting a bit of sticky patch where the mind [wallowed in nihilism](https://www.gilespcroft.com/oh-whats-the-point/#:~:text=I%20laugh%2C%20because%20I%20went%20through%20this) for a while.
As you can see from this metaphorical bus-driver story, it’s to be expected. No biggie.
It will pass.
## Back to the mountains
If you’ve watched my video about ‘**Mountain - No Mountain - Mountain**’ (and if you haven’t yet, [you can do so here](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mountain-no-mountain/)) then, similar to the notion of [spiritual bypass](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-are-not-the-buddha/), this ‘nihilism trap’ would be another example of getting stuck in the ‘No mountain’ phase – where we’ve seen behind the curtain; we’ve had a glimpse of the non-duality of existence… and yet we’ve not had chance to properly process that and to integrate these insights back into the world of form (or back into ‘[Mountain 2](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mountain-no-mountain/#:~:text=Mountain%20%28%232,but%20NOT%20TRUE)’, if we’re using that analogy).
So here’s your next question: How long do you think that ‘redundant’ Bus Driver would spend sulking on the back seats, muttering *“Oh, what’s the point?”* to themselves, when there’s all this phenomenal scenery still whizzing by the windows, eh? (I mean, how long does *anyone*—you, your kids, your partner—spend sulking, after [things go wrong](https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/) or they get [stung by life](https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-you-get-stung-by-life/)?)
I’m guessing not *that* long. Because in reality nothing’s changed, except for the dispelling of the illusion of control.
There are still places to go, holidays to be had on this bus, beautiful scenery to be gawped at, hills to get up (and coast down), stunning vistas, the likes of which you’ve never seen before – even stories, jokes and commentary to be told and heard. Hell, if you *really* wanted to, you could put your hands on the wheel, your feet on the pedals and *pretend* you were driving, just like a little kid does. Wouldn’t that be fun?!
😄
It’s all exactly the same, except that now, you don’t have the weight of all that responsibility on your shoulders. You’re not the one guiding this hunk of metal down the road. It’s not ‘you’ keeping the passengers safe; being responsible for their (your) wellbeing. You don’t have to keep working hard on yourself, to ensure you’re the ‘best bus driver there is’.
You don’t have to worry about *driving* the bus, at all! You have more options. You can enjoy the ride.
And as I say at the end of one of the chapters in my [forthcoming book](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elementary/):
> *“To submit to this flow is to give up nothing more than your struggle against life itself, and this realisation offers the most delicious of proposals: if you're not in control, you can relax and let go of trying to control everything.”*
💖
Giles
## Related
[Oh, what’s the point?!If there is no chooser, what’s the point of decisions anyway? 😖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/oh-whats-the-point/)
More [Sunday Spiritual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/) inconvenient truths 😉
### Why ageing is not a problem
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-ageing-is-not-a-problem/
Last updated: 2026-03-07T07:00:30.000Z
A client put the frighteners right up me the other day, when they said—with real conviction—that they were terrified of growing old.
I think it was the certainty with which they delivered this clear pronouncement (in addition to them being roughy the same age as me, with a similar focus on the outdoors, and on fitness) that had me sit up, literally, in my chair, as my mind panicked briefly:
> 📦🗣️ *“Oh my god, yes!!! Why am I not more bothered by growing old?! How could I have missed that?! Am I just in denial, or what?!?!”*
😂
It was *such* a shock to the system, to hear it delivered so matter-of-factly, that I screeched the brakes on our conversation immediately.
> *“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, slow down… what?!?! Why'd you say that?! What on earth is ‘terrifying’ about growing old??”*
They obliged, and the argument *for* this feeling of terror was pretty cogent, to be fair: decrepitude, loss of independence (loss of your marbles, potentially), falls, illnesses, pain, loss, death…
👴🏻 🛌 🩼 🫥 💥 😩 💊 🏥 🦠 ☠️ ⚰️ 🪦
LOL. It's easy to see how we get sucked into this stuff, isn't it?!
So then I had to stop talking, stop debating, and ask permission for us to be a bit quiet for a moment, so I could reflect on the feeling that was underpinning me ***not*** being bothered about the idea of growing old.
Because that's what I didn't get, really. In the face of such overwhelming evidence for how sh\*t getting old is, why did I not see it as a problem?
🤔
---
Well, let me ask you a question.
Go back in time 20 years, or even just 10, and put yourself in your younger self's shoes.
Then, imagine the age you are now.
I bet you weren't *really* looking forward to it, were you? Because it's older. It will have had a story attached to it – a prediction from the mind ([based on the past](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/)).
Now, shake that image off, take a deep breath and look around you. Check in with yourself.
You're *that* age. Here it is. How does it feel? What are you experiencing?
🙂
I'm guessing it feels pretty much how life always feels – there's this sensation of being alive, there's whatever information your senses are delivering right now… and then, there's the mind, too, talking about it all; providing its commentary about how it thinks things are going.
It's probably not that much different—identical, even—from what you were experiencing 20 years ago.
---
Will you be doing different things? Sure. (Different from what you imagined, when you actually *were* 20 years younger, I'm willing to bet.)
Will you have slowed down a bit? Probably (not necessarily).
Will you feel more tired (almost certainly)!! 😆 … but then again, not necessarily.
But you're still just having this felt experience of being human. It's exactly the same. It's all you get!
**Sensations ✚ Commentary.**
And when (if) you experience 80, it'll be from the perspective of a 80-year old organism. (Not from however old you are now, thinking about it.)
I think this is why I don't see ageing as a problem, *per se*. Because:
❗
All the ‘problem’ aspects of growing old are merely thought-created pictures of the future.
And when the mind does that, it has a tendency to freak out, because (all together now) *that's just what minds do.*
Me, on the other hand… well, I'll be rocking up to each moment, age 53, 63, 73, 83 (maybe… to everything beyond that first one), and seeing what life has to offer, right there, in that moment.
😘
Giles
p.s. This is why you ask any ‘old’ person how old they feel, deep down, and they'll say they never really grew up – they still feel like a child.
### Related
[It never gets any easier…it just gets faster (or slower)! Now, why is that? 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/it-never-gets-any-easier/)
A mind experiences the relative. We experience what is.
### Throw the tape out the window
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/throw-the-tape-out-the-window/
Last updated: 2026-03-06T07:00:19.000Z
It’s a funny old game, this Innate Health malarkey.
Here I am, pointing you in a direction, each and every day, using the tools of the left brain: language, rationalisation, categorisation.
And yet what I’m [pointing *to*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/), has got nothing to do with any of that. It’s almost the opposite.
It’s really easy for minds to take this all in as *information*, to try and store it away, (to bring out later and *use* in a situation), because that’s how we’ve been schooled. But that’s not it.
They’re Daily *Reminders*, not Daily *Learning*.
A reminder to shift your focus *away* from the mind’s activity, and back towards life itself; to encourage you to be guided by your intuitions and deeper wisdom, rather than checking in with the uninvited guest in your head all the time, for permission.
There’s an old [audio from Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#audio) (whose insights, books and talks inform everything I do), where he said:
> *“If you're listening to this in your car and you find yourself in a beautiful feeling, roll down your window, pop the tape out of the tape player, and throw it out the window. Stay with the feeling, and it will teach you everything you need to know.”*
Sage advice! Because that feeling is the feeling of life itself; of who-you-really-are, and it’s going to tell you magnitudes more than any words I share.
The equivalent to ‘throwing the tape out the window’ with each of these Daily Reminders, is to start your day from that feeling.
Slow down. Relax. Breathe. Be. Remember who you are.
Because when you’re up against work and people and fast-paced, baffling life-circumstances, the [place you’re coming from](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-youre-coming-from/) is what counts.
💝
Giles
### Related
[The 3Ps aren’t a thingDon’t look at the finger, pointing to the moon 🌙👈🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/)
### Feeling guilty is ok
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/feeling-guilty-is-ok/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T00:06:01.000Z
I had a client recently, made a mistake at work, that they felt guilty about. And it was bothering them; ‘playing on their mind’, so to speak.
It's a funny one, guilt, isn't it? New Order wrote a (really great) song called [*Guilt Is A Useless Emotion*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpaEqvSCcVs&ref=gilespcroft.com), and d'you know, I'm inclined to agree!
What purpose does guilt serve?
> *“It shows we care, Giles!”*
Umm, ok. Can you care, without guilt? Sure you can, and do! Guilt's not necessary for caring.
> *“It prevents us from making the same mistakes again!”*
Erm, does it though? It *might* do (if the feeling is so mortifying that the mind-body will do *anything* to avoid feeling it again), but equally, it might not.
I could feel guilty every single time I open up the cupboard with all the biscuits in it… and yet keep on doing it.
🤷🏻♂️
So what's it for?
I'm not a social anthropologist, so I don't *really* care, nor am I that motivated to come up with hypotheses, or investigate other people's.
I like a simple life.
Speaking of which, I do know two things. **Firstly**:
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us
All behaviour lies downstream of present-moment understanding. So we make ‘mistakes’, yes. We take actions and do things from a state of mind that—sitting in a lab, debating the pros and cons and having crystal clear perspective—we might not normally do.
Welcome to the human race, my friend! It's a bit like that, had you noticed?
😆
And then layered on top of that, there's the *feeling* of guilt.
So **secondly**, let's remember this:
Make one for yourself and leave it on your desk, as a reminder.
Feeling is thought. The two are inseparable.
Guilt doesn't *mean* anything. It's just a mind, looking in on a situation, judging it against its own rules that it made up (created from [your past](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/)), and passing judgement.
(On itself 🙄)
Why would you want to get involved in any of *that?!*
---
There's a chapter on guilt in Ankush Jain's book, [Sweet Sharing](https://amzn.to/4rM6Vxj?ref=gilespcroft.com), where he comes to this conclusion himself. Feeling regret over past actions, he ‘tries to be a better person’ but realises that his motivation is still tied into guilt, which is just making the whole thing worse – he has to feel bad, in order to behave nicely!
Eventually he sees deeply that feelings of guilt are just a reflection of thought, temporarily taking a ‘guilty’ form, none of which has anything whatsoever to do with him as a person, or how he behaves, or anything really.
It's just thought – it comes and it goes! As do all thought forms.
---
We've all done things we regret. We've all made mistakes. We've all hurt other people.
(Honestly, I could quite easily sit here, right now and bring to mind *myriad* actions of the past that fall *way* short of the mind's values, and as a result, I would feel really bad. That's how it works!)
And yet, that was then, this is now. What happened, happened.
Who—and how—are you going to be, right now?
Present to life, or lost in thought?
That means you, it means me, it means everyone and every mistake and terrible sin ever committed, in the history of mankind.
We don't *need* guilt to learn. Learning happens all on its own.
And at the same time, of course it's ok to *feel* guilt. (It's ok to feel *anything!)*
It's harmless mind-activity, passing through.
If you let it.
💟
Giles
p.s. if I've missed something and my shameless lack of research into the usefulness of guilt has got you all hot under the collar, let me know in the comments below, or [drop me an email](mailto:dr@gilespcroft.com)!
p.p.s. [I love being wrong](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong-again/).
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Stumbling around in the darkEverybody deserves a second chance. Because we’re all doing our best, trying to figure it out 🌒The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/stumbling-around-in-the-dark/)
Making mistakes on an epic scale. 🇫🇷🍺🍻🥴💦🌑🖼️🚽💤😂
### A little more optimism
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-little-more-optimism/
Last updated: 2026-03-04T07:00:47.000Z
A few days ago [I looked at how easy it is](https://www.gilespcroft.com/misery-and-happiness/) to get sucked into all of the misery and despair going on around the world, to the exclusion of life itself, and all we have to be grateful for.
This is not to say we should bury our heads in the sand when it comes to the world's goings on—far from it—but simply to remain aware of when we're innocently attaching our sense of wellbeing to external circumstance… which is *very* easily done.
(It's what this entire website's about!)
It struck a chord with a few of you, and I just read something the other day that slotted another piece of the optimism/pessimism jigsaw into place for me, so I shall share it with you.
It's about [AI](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/ai/), so if that turns you off completely, you can stop reading now.
🤓
## Doomed, I tell you!
A large part of my job in Health Informatics, before I [ditched it all](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) to help people quit the self-help hamster-wheel once and for all, involved keeping up with technology. I enjoyed it, and still do – I am a self-confessed tech-geek, and relish tinkering around with computers and devices in general.
But the algorithmic nature of social media these days means that anything we show the *vaguest* interest in will get shoved down our throats *ad infinitum*, so some of my feeds have a fair bit in them (more than I'd like) about AI – what it's up to and where they think it's going.
(As an aside, being aware that what you read online is a bit of an echo-chamber, subtly reinforcing your existing beliefs, is definitely a 21st Century skill to cultivate!)
Anyway there was a viral post doing the rounds recently, which was rather bullish on the future of AI… and this led to all sorts of fear-mongering about the future of humanity in general. It got a bit out of hand, as these things tend to.
You know, the usual.
And I probably paid a bit too much attention to that (it's compelling, isn't it, fear-mongering?) and it probably fed into the [mind-darkness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/low-mood-writing/) I experienced last week.
## Common sense prevails
And then someone whose [Ghost blog](https://explore.ghost.org/health?ref=gilespcroft.com) I follow, penned something that put things into perspective for me again. Slotted it all into the bigger picture.
So if you're worried about AI and what it means for the future of humanity in general (especially the workforce aspects), you could do worse than to read it yourself:
[Everything is awesome (why I’m an optimist)February is the month the internet decided we’re all going to die. In the span of about two weeks, Matt Shumer’s Something Big is Happening racked up over 80 million views on X with its breathless comparison of AI to the early days of COVID, telling his non-tech friends andWestenberg.JA Westenberg](https://www.joanwestenberg.com/everything-is-awesome-why-im-an-optimist/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Joan's posts are longer than mine (13 min read) so grab a cuppa
The reason it resonated with me so much, was because it echoed a great bit of the book [RESULTS](https://amzn.to/4rMQZLt?ref=gilespcroft.com) by Jamie Smart, where he's talking about [how revolutions work](https://www.gilespcroft.com/part-of-evolution/#:~:text=Evolution%20vs.%20Revolution) – not so much the bloody ones, but the big societal shifts we've experienced over the last few hundred years: agricultural, industrial, information, that sort of thing.
Because while each of these shifts brings huge benefits and moves us forward as a species, each of them has un-predicted side effects… which society then has to deal with (and which the next revolution often addresses).
And AI is no different. It has huge potential, it's going to change our lives irrevocably (already has, for many), nobody *actually* knows where it's all going to end up, and it's definitely going to cause some problems too.
But, as Joan maps out in her [very well-reasoned piece](https://www.joanwestenberg.com/everything-is-awesome-why-im-an-optimist/?ref=gilespcroft.com), we'll figure it out. Because we always do!
As always, that's the thing—our innate health, wisdom and capacity for resourcefulness—nobody talks about all that much, and is *so* easy to lose sight of.
For me, for you, for all of us.
## A reminder
This might be a good time to remind you of this rather excellent quote from Jiddu Krishnamurti (one of my favourites – really slows you down when you think about it)!
> *“One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.”*
That's just what minds do!
💟
Giles
### Related
[Part of evolutionChange is inevitable – and we’re very much part of that 💗The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/part-of-evolution/)
More on the nature of evolution & societal revolution
###
### What if it seems worse than it is?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-it-seems-worse-than-it-is/
Last updated: 2026-03-03T07:00:48.000Z
The other day I wrote something about spending some [enforced time in a scanner](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-really-interesting-mri/), which I used as an opportunity watch my thoughts. It was a fascinating exercise, and not the first time.
In fact it’s easy to do, any time really – like when doing something as basic as eating a piece of fruit 👇🏻
[I just ate a nectarineAnd now I’m going to tell you about it 🍑The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-just-ate-a-nectarine/)
That post served as a bit of an eye-opener for a reader, because it helped them to realise just how much of their everyday activities are accompanied by mind-commentary (which, for us humans, is often quite judgemental).
I started off by empathising, replying with an *“All the time, yeah!”* before catching myself and realising – hang on, that’s nonsense, isn’t it?
It’s not *“all the time”* at all! It’s just that those are the bits we notice.
[Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) once defined the present moment as:
> *“Any moment of awareness that’s free of the contamination of the conceptual mind”*
…which means that there’ll be loads of times during every day where we’re just batting away at life—talking, working, reading, moving, writing, exercising, cooking, listening—but is happening without any judgement, or even noticing, *per se*.
That *is* presence, and we do it a lot more than we notice (because ‘noticing’ is a mind-thing).
So when it comes to being a bit up in our heads at times, this little exchange just made me wonder:
🤔
What if it seems worse than it is?
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
### Related
[Schrödinger’s wellbeingHow would you \*know\* when you were present? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/schrodingers-wellbeing/)
### Where you’re coming from
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-youre-coming-from/
Last updated: 2026-03-02T07:00:07.000Z
I’m catching up on my reading pile, and am half way through David Edwards’ excellent [*A Short Book About Ego…*](https://www.medialens.org/bookshop/a-short-book-about-ego/?ref=gilespcroft.com) (what comes after the ellipsis is *‘and the remedy of meditation’*, which I find to be a *touch* prescriptive, but the book contains too many sparkling gems to hold any real acrimony towards the proffered ‘[one solution](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-one-solution/)’).
I was delighted this morning to learn that he shares a love of *The The*, especially the track I unpicked earlier this year: [*True Happiness This Way Lies*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-a-song-lyric-taught-me-about-goals/) – he too examines its lyrics in the book, and even met the artist Matt Johnson, to quiz him about it once! 😲
Anyway I haven’t reached the end yet, so I suspect there’ll be more along these lines, but I’m delighted to see that he tackles the *“And…?”* objection that sometimes arises when we talk of spiritual awakening; of seeing life with clarity.
- *“So what? What difference does that make?”*
- *“How’s that going to pay my bills?”*
- *“So you’re telling me I have to sit in the dark, meditating all the time, to feel better?”*
Ahh, minds. Fighting their corner. All power to ‘em! ✊🏻
There’s a little bit of the text, after he talks about seeing through the blather of ‘righteous egos’ and ‘suffering egos’ where the rubber meets the road, and he offers something beyond just ‘feeling better’:
> *“And then the irony — the result of this much-derided ‘navel-gazing’, this inactivist pause in our compulsive activism — is that positive pragmatic actions become much more possible … It means we’re freed from pain and ego to respond positively; to talk, take action, to leave, and so on. And to take action out of love and bliss, rather than misery, is an extraordinary thing.”*
The mind doesn’t like hearing this, because the mind’s currency is misery. It‘s hard coded to see the ‘wrong’ (by which I mean it [*creates* it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-have-to-get-stuff-right/), really), so that it can then offer its solutions… and woe betide us if we ignore its advice!
But once we’ve seen *through* all that—the much vaunted ‘spiritual awakening’, which is no more complicated than getting wise to the mind’s BS—it leaves us *way* more resourceful; less consumed by hatred and despair; more able to see what’s important; much more likely to find effective ways to respond to everyday—and extraordinary—situations.
(This is why this understanding is just as important in the world of work, productivity & creativity, as it is in more therapeutic applications.)
You *know* all this, because you’ve experienced it! As I say, in one chapter of my own, forthcoming, book,
> *“You know very well that you’re at your best when calm and clear-headed, whereas your worst tendencies stem from anxious, insecure thinking.”*
So if you ever catch your mind raising objections to slowing down, or calming down, or it starts bleating on about [apathy and inactivity](https://www.gilespcroft.com/an-invitation-to-apathy/), just remember—from your own experience—how much more effective you are in life, when you’re coming from a place of love.
💖
Giles
### Related
[Putting up with thingsA disclaimer about the nature of acceptance 🚩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-up-with-things/)
None of this means you should just ‘put up with things’
### Live stream
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/live-stream/
Last updated: 2026-03-01T07:00:16.000Z
I'm incapacitated, with a streaming cold.
So if you're fit and well, get out there and do something real on my behalf, will you?
[](https://www.facebook.com/nathanwpyle2)
The incomparable [Nathan W Pyle](https://www.nathanwpyle.art/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Thx
😘
Giles
### In celebration of being wrong (again)!
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong-again/
Last updated: 2026-08-18T22:10:00.000Z
I have spoken before, of my love of being wrong. So many times in fact, that at the bottom of this Daily Reminder I shall post a whole bunch of links for you, so that you can revel in *all* my mistakes, or at least the ones I'm comfortable admitting, eh?
(Lest you were labouring under the impression I know what I'm doing 😆)
## Why is being wrong so good?
Because it's how we learn! It's how we grow! It's how misunderstanding falls away and we get a little bit closer to the truth of things. Because this process is going on for *all* of us:
- Ego creates a belief, from stuff it's heard
- It goes looking for evidence to support that belief (finding it, easily)
- Once established, it gets very tetchy if that belief is challenged (often doubling down, rather than changing its mind; something called ‘[belief perseverance](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belief%5Fperseverance/?ref=gilespcroft.com)’)
- Egoic beliefs ultimately place conditions on our happiness, thereby limiting our apparent choices
- Without even noticing, our lives shrink, as we need things to be ‘just so’ because it looks like that's the only way we can be ok.
It's classic [outside-in](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) thinking, it's the source of all human misery and if we ever want to change anything, then almost by definition, we *have* to be wrong.
That's why I love it so!
## Beliefs about ‘keeping warm’
> *“I think I might have been wrong! Like, really wrong, for a long time! It's brilliant!!”*
This is my greeting, as I meet up with a cycling buddy, a half hour's ride between his place and mine.
It's cold, a bit drizzly and I'm dressed rather strangely. Not outwardly, but beneath the surface.
You see, a few days previously, I'd watched a [rather curious cycling video](https://youtu.be/nXP4e0RbhLQ?ref=gilespcroft.com), where they did some experiments on themselves and concluded that the best way to cycle in cold weather—to stay comfortable, without compromising performance—is not to ‘wrap up warm’ in the conventional sense.
For years (all my life until now) I've had a very clear, unchallenged belief that when it's cold and you're out on your bike, the most important bit of you to keep warm is your core – your torso, essentially.
This belief has manifested almost as a little voice in my head—the voice of every mother, across the aeons—saying something like, *Look after your core, and your extremities will look after themselves.*
So whenever the temperature has dropped and I've headed out on two wheels, I've layered up. Big time. In winter, if it's proper cold, I might wear as many as six layers total on my torso – multiple base layers, jersey(s), gilet, jacket… Big, thick, bulky clothing.
It never seemed to *totally* prevent me from getting numb feet or cold hands (even with big gloves and bulky overshoes on) and whenever I stopped or when I arrived home, all the inner layers would be sopping wet with perspiration.
(I have been know to [stop and take layers off](https://www.strava.com/activities/16844774958?ref=gilespcroft.com), having ground to a sweaty halt, such was my commitment to ‘not catching a chill’, when making clothing choices.)
As with all unchallenged beliefs, I never really questioned it, or even really saw reason to – it just seemed like the inevitable inconvenience of performing an outdoor sport in cold weather.
Until I saw [the video](https://youtu.be/nXP4e0RbhLQ?ref=gilespcroft.com), and the evidence (albeit from one person, but [a person I know and respect](https://gilespcroft.link/racing-clean?ref=gilespcroft.com)).
I couldn't wait to try it out for myself!
## Getting my own evidence
And this is what I'd experienced, on that half hour's ride in the cold, over to meet up with my friend (who was wearing the traditional 6 layers, and thought I was crackers).
Instead of my usual get-up, I'd double-layered my arms and legs, but was just wearing a skimpy little single base layer under my jersey (which I had unzipped)… and it felt fine! 😎
I spent 5 hours, ‘inappropriately dressed’ that day, in what was fairly classic crappy Welsh winter weather, but neither overheated, nor got cold.
All those years, overdressed, I'd been delightfully wrong—again!—and if you ever have occasion to ride a bike outdoors when it's cold, I'd invite you to have a go at being wrong too.
It could be the start of something beautiful!
(I've put the video at the bottom, so you can make your own mind up… but you're going to have to try it, to see how it feels.)
I've been out on my bike, ‘inappropriately dressed’ a few times now and I'm such a convert, I even got my wife to take a pair of scissors and hack all the bits of a thick winter base layer away, apart from the arms & shoulders – I now have a cheeky little winter bolero to wear! 😂🤣
I had another pair of arm-warmers underneath that, and I promise I did wear a thin, long-sleeved jersey over that, so the public was spared the shocking truth 😆
So anyway, if you ride a bike, watch the video, get curious, try it out and report back in the comments, below.
Here's to more comfortable winter riding (thanks, Si) … and to being wrong in general!
💟
Giles
p.s. If you want to read the old Cycling Plus article I wrote about Simon's team and their commitment to anti-doping, I've scanned and uploaded it here: [Cycling Plus May 2008 - Racing Clean](https://gilespcroft.link/racing-clean/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### The infamous video
You have to try it, before you dismiss it. Be willing to be wrong. If you read the Youtube comments, you'll find loads of people essentially saying, **“What took you so long to realise this?!”*
---
#### Catalogue of Giles Ego Construct wrongness
#### Further examples of how great it is to be wrong ⤵️
- [Are we nature](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-we-nature/)? (being wrong about our connection to nature) 🫢
- [Not trusting my thinking](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-trusting-my-thinking/) (being wrong about being wrong)! 😆
- [In celebration of being wrong](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong/) (being really very badly wrong by failing to RTFM) 🤦🏻♂️
- [Insights just keep coming](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insights-keep-coming/) (being wrong about two actually being one) ♾️
- [You don't have to get stuff right](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-have-to-get-stuff-right/) (being wrong about decisions made) 🔀
- [Necessary ingredients for change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) (one of which is a willingness to be wrong!) 😁
- [It's all made up](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-made-up/) (being wrong and being schooled by a client) 😬
### Mind really interesting (MRI)
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-really-interesting-mri/
Last updated: 2026-02-27T07:00:06.000Z
I spent 40 minutes inside an MRI scanner last night – forty frickin’ minutes, people!!!
🫣
I knew it was going to be quite long, but I wasn’t expecting *that*. (Even though I’ve had exactly the same scan before, lol.)
And you know what? It was ok! The *idea* of being in that enclosed space, unable to move, while it produced sounds like the inside of some futuristic, *very* noisy video game, was actually worse than the experience itself.
So it was only *before* the scan that the mind was coming up with all sorts of weird and wonderful, somewhat-related scenarios,
> 📦🗣️ *“Hey, let’s imagine what it would be like to be buried alive? Like in that film. What would we do?”*
…but during it? No, the whole experience was just interesting. I was curious.
Sometimes the inside of the scanner seemed really close, and other times, not so much.
I even zoned out a couple of times, relaxing my focus and losing the whole scanner in a sort of not-quite-there blur.
I minutely examined a piece of tape, stuck to the inside, right in front of my eyes.
I imagined the sorts of shapes I’d be throwing if this insane, pulsing beat was playing in a club of my choice, instead of a rattling tube of metal that was producing pictures of my innards.
(I don’t get to choose these thoughts, they just arise.)
---
There were a ton of breathing instructions to keep me occupied, although I messed them up a bit at first, because the mind was so desperate to ‘do things right’, it took them way too seriously:
> *“Breathe in”* (I take a big breath in)
> *“Breathe out”* (I try and empty my lungs completely)
> *“Breathe in and hold your breath”* (I take the biggest deep breath ever and hold it until it feels like my eyes are about to pop out of my head)
I did this a few times and was panting after each one, thinking, *No way I’m going to be able to keep this up*, before common sense kicked in to remind me that they just need me to *not* be breathing during the noisy scan bit.
And I remembered that I know how to breathe. And that I can hold my breath for ages, just by breathing completely normally and quietly, and then stopping, when asked. 🤦🏻♂️
So after that mini-realisation, I did that instead, and it got a lot easier.
Breathing drama over.
---
Biggest problem? I got a really itchy nose at one point.
Observing the intensity of the itch grow steadily stronger and stronger was quite the lesson. I didn’t want to sneeze or anything, there was just this *insane* desire to ask them to stop, so I could have a good rub at it.
But I didn’t. I thought, *Just an itch, man. Ain’t gonna kill you.* And observed it until eventually it went away. Was touch-and-go for a while though (or is that not-touch-and-stay-put)?!
---
Why do I tell you all this? Well, due to this body having baffled the entire medical profession with unexplained, random, but quite serious-presenting symptoms, I’ve had a load of tests in the last couple of years (it almost feels like *all* the tests!) and it’s all really been helped by this understanding of how we experience the world and who we really are.
I’ve been poked, prodded, stabbed, cannulated and intubated in more places than I care to mention and honestly? It’s all been fine. Every last bit.
Last night, there was a wall of machinery a couple of inches above my nose – it was solid and I had to stay beneath it… and at the same time I was hyper-aware that my *experience* of all that, was being created from the inside-out.
Nothing fancy or weird or deeply spiritual or anything, just knowing that my experience of it, was Thought, that’s all. And that the mind was going to *take* that experience and talk about it a lot – provide a commentary. That’s completely made up. And doesn’t mean anything.
And that’s so helpful to know!
---
Whatever you’re up against—poor health, relationships, work, kids, illness, loss, pain, anything—this same process is going on. The 3 Principles in action.
The energy of life (Mind) is being brought into awareness (Consciousness) and manifesting on your watch as whatever it is you’re experiencing (Thought).
And the mind’s going to have a lot to say about it.
Simples.
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
### Related
[I just ate a nectarineAnd now I’m going to tell you about it 🍑The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-just-ate-a-nectarine/)
What happens when you start **thinking* about stuff.
### In praise of boredom
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-praise-of-boredom/
Last updated: 2026-03-20T21:05:09.000Z
The kids are back at school, so the house is blissfully devoid of the phrase,
> *“I'm bored!”*
Or is it? This phrase might not be being *vocalised* now that half term is over, but what if these two words, knocking around inside our skulls, lie at the root of procrastination, distraction and even disorders of attention?
Ever since I first read a chapter of Richard Carlson's book [Don't Sweat the Small Stuff](https://gilespcroft.link/dontsweat?ref=gilespcroft.com), called *Allow Yourself To Be Bored*, I've had a much better relationship with boredom. I think the hook for me came at the very end of the chapter when he recommends responding to a child's complaint about being bored, by answering,
> *“Great, be bored for a while. It's good for you.”*
For some reason, that really caught my interest!
😂🤣
But when we examine our own behaviours, isn't it the mind complaining *“I'm bored!”* that has us doomscrolling, reaching for the remote, or shifting focus quickly from one thing, to another, to another, to another…
As Richard says,
> *“Much of our anxiety and inner struggle stems from our busy, overactive minds always needing something to entertain them, something to focus on, and always wondering, ‘What's next?’*
> *“While we're eating dinner, we wonder what's for dessert. While eating dessert, we ponder what we should do afterward. After that evening, it's ‘What should we do this weekend?’*
> *“It's almost as if we're frightened at the thought of not having something to do, even for a minute.”*
It's ‘[I'll be happy when…](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)’ in another guise, isn't it?
It's the mind, incapable of having a fruitful relationship with the present moment, only because it's not needed, there.
## Time-wasting
As an antidote, I recently spotted something online, about distraction and procrastination, that really jibes with the more sciencey aspects of the Innate Health understanding.
The premise is that we'll often catch ourselves saying things like *“I wasted the whole morning and did nothing”* 😫 (this was me, just yesterday!) and of course it's not true.
We *did* do something, even if it was just sitting there watching the proverbial paint dry. It's just that it wasn't what we *wanted*, or felt like we *should* (🚩) be doing, or what we're actually getting *paid* to do. Instead:
> *“We were constantly stimulating our brain with short bursts of dopamine. Scrolling, checking notifications, jumping between apps, watching ‘just one more’ video.”*
We've all been there, don't pretend otherwise.
And why? Because we've innocently programmed our brains to do it – [rewarded it for its ‘bad’ behaviour](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-reinforcing-bad-behaviour/).
> *“Your brain learns quickly. If it can lie in bed, half-awake, and still get rewarded with novelty, it will do that forever. Why would it choose something effortful when it can stay still and still be entertained?”*
## You probably won't try this
And once you're a bit wise to what's going on, it's going to make less and less sense to keep on reinforcing these behaviours.
So what does the opposite look like? How do we de-train the mind from procrastination, avoidance and distraction?
By boring it.
> *“Try this experiment: sit somewhere for an hour with your phone beside you and don't touch it. No music, no background noise. Just silence.”*
😳
When the urges come, notice them. And if it's an urge that's taking you away from work that needs doing (remember: [procrastination is a solution](https://www.gilespcroft.com/procrastination-is-a-solution-not-a-problem/), not a problem!) then the author recommends this practice:
> *“Instead of forcing myself to work right now, I started using a different rule:*
> *“*‘Fine, we don't have to work yet. But if we aren't working, then we are doing absolutely nothing that gives us stimulation.’**
> *“Not scrolling. Not watching educational videos disguised as productivity. Not listening to a podcast to feel productive. Just stillness or boring tasks like washing dishes in silence.*
> *“Eventually, the brain gets bored enough that work actually becomes the most stimulating option.”*
Somebody *please* try this out and report back your findings in the comments – I'm almost too scared to try!
😆
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/distraction-solution/)
There's a simple way to combat the productivity-wrecking effects of distractive urges (that **doesn't* involve going cold turkey like this) and it's much closer than you'd think.
Over in the ****Premium Membership** 🔖 we look at a “****Distraction: Solution**” because insight into the nature of distractions changes everything ✨
Includes:
✒️ Magazine-calibre article
🎙️ Audio narrated version.
[TAKE A LOOK NOW ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/distraction-solution/)
#
### Misery and happiness
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/misery-and-happiness/
Last updated: 2026-02-25T07:00:29.000Z
The other day I cheered you up, demonstrating that we're all in this together by [writing about being glum](https://www.gilespcroft.com/low-mood-writing/). As suspected, it didn't last for too long and I think by later on that day I'd already started working on the *following* day's Daily Reminder.
These things happen. I don't tend to take them *too* seriously, because if I do, they have a habit of sticking around for longer!
🤷🏻♂️
As always with these low states of consciousness, the first thing a mind does is observes it and asks, *Why?!*
And then goes to great lengths to deliver a long list of *reasons* why we're in a low mood, created from *all* the data it's collected in the past, right up to just moments ago.
So. Many. Reasons.
(But usually from its list of greatest hits, eh? i.e. your biggest fears 👹)
I don't tend to take *those* too seriously either, because it's like whack-a-mole: reason one away, and another'll just pop up in its place.
But… we *do* live in a world of form, and lest we slip into [spiritual bypass](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-are-not-the-buddha/), it's worth honouring those feelings and exploring the misery from time to time, and blimey, I hadn't realised how much of The (bad) News I'd been properly taking on board.
Until I read [this piece](https://www.caitlinjohnst.one/p/its-very-possible-to-be-both-happy/?ref=gilespcroft.com) from Caitlin Johnstone, about being well-informed *and* happy.
In it, she rails against the notion that it’s *“hard to find the balance between educating yourself on current events and not making yourself so indescribably sad that you can’t properly function,”* by pointing out that the two are not diametrically opposed.
In her words:
> *“It’s very possible to be both happy and well-informed. We live in an explosively beautiful universe, and getting to experience anything at all is amazing. The fact that our world is plagued by human butchery and degradation does not cancel out the majesty of a bird in the sky, or the ecstasy of the wind upon your skin.”*
This is true, and it's *so* easy to lose sight of when everywhere we turn, the world is burning/drowning/collapsing, innocents are being exploited by those in power, there's oppression and war and we're all going to end up as slaves to our robot overlords, like, next week or something, if you believe what you read on social media.
*Really* easy.
She goes on:
> *“Find your happiness in that which cannot be corrupted by this fraudulent dystopia.*
> *Your connections with your loved ones. That’s real and authentic.*
> *The radiance of the natural world. That’s real and authentic.*
> *The crackling aliveness of the senses. That’s real and authentic.*
> *The boundless peace deep down at the heart of your being which reveals itself if you listen closely enough. That’s real and authentic.*
> *“These things can supply endless happiness, even as the world burns, and even as you weep at its burning. Because it is entirely possible to honor the grief and tragedy of this world while also delighting in its beauty.”*
And I think for a moment there, I'd lost sight of that a bit. I'd inadvertently let the mind slip into [either/or mode](https://www.gilespcroft.com/false-dichotomies/), when really it's ‘and’.
I really recommend the whole piece, if you're feeling a bit out of kilter at the moment. Because there's so much wrong … and so much to celebrate.
Dave Gahan [said it best](https://youtu.be/UhFAPNXfdy4?ref=gilespcroft.com):
> *“Sometimes I forget*
> *All I will regret*
> *When I leave this world behind”*
💟
Giles
[It’s Very Possible To Be Both Happy And Well-InformedReading by Tim Foley:Caitlin’s NewsletterCaitlin Johnstone](https://www.caitlinjohnst.one/p/its-very-possible-to-be-both-happy/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The full article from Caitlin Johnstone
### The magic trick
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-magic-trick/
Last updated: 2026-02-24T07:00:46.000Z
You know when you see a really great magic trick? It looks so real, but you can't figure it out.
🎩
It's amazing, yeah? Fascinating. Awe-inspiring, even!
😮
Now, do you beat yourself up because you've been fooled by it?
😖
Do you think that it says something about ‘the kind of person you are’?
😥
I'm guessing not.
---
Remember this, the next time you get fooled into believing your thinking.
🤦🏻
It's amazing. Fascinating. Awe-inspiring… and a trillion times more convincing than all the magic tricks in the world put together.
✨
So you *are* going to fall for it. Time and again. It's as certain as death and taxes. And when you do, your resulting behaviour will be… less than optimal.
🤪
So next time you get fooled by thought, go easy on yourself. This *is* the human condition. You can't escape it. But you can learn to see it for what it is: a magic trick.
🪄
Seeing its nature—of how easily we're fooled—is the source of forgiveness. Of yourself, and of others.
🕊️
Seeing how it works—for us all, in exactly the same way—is the source of compassion.
👥
And every single time you see through its sleight of hand and fall back into the present moment… that is the source of gratitude.
😎
Forgiveness, compassion, gratitude… these aren't things you have to work at. They're not something you *do*. They simply show up, automatically, when you remember… that it's just a magic trick.
💖
Giles
### Stepping stones
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/stepping-stones/
Last updated: 2026-02-23T07:00:41.000Z
I was having a conversation with someone who was a bit stuck around career change.
They’d been doing the same thing for 20 years and knew it was time for change. They also had one of those deep, almost secret little desires that they knew was what they *really* wanted – the lesser spotted Big Dream!
Being human, they were scared and uncertain and daunted by everything they *didn’t* know about this particular path, and it almost felt like it was too soon to be taking that leap. (Standard fare.)
But that wasn’t what was keeping them stuck.
What was in their way was an offer of a *different* opportunity that had arisen. It was somewhat related to their current work, but it was a change from what they were doing—it was welcome, stable, doable—but it *wasn’t* The Dream.
And they didn’t feel like they could *take* this new opportunity, because even though it made a good deal of sense, it also felt like saying ‘No’ to The Dream.
And they’d hit a wall.
## Timing
Now, I don’t ever know what’s ‘right’ for another person—how could I?—but I’ve been through a fair few transitions myself and I can spot a story when I see one.
When it comes to this stuff, minds (which are like little algorithmic computers 🤖) operate in terms of black and white, using the currency of either/or, and if-this-then-that logic.
So a mind will spy a situation like this and start saying things like:
> 📦🗣️ *“If you take that job it means an end to The Dream,”* and
> 📦🗣️ *“If you were braver, you’d just go for The Dream right now,”* and
> 📦🗣️ *“That’s playing small, you should wait until you’re ready to launch into The Dream.”*
And is it any wonder we stay stuck!
---
I’ve been there before, myself. Back when I first left clinical medicine, I had a Big Dream—basically finding a way to get paid to ride my bike and write about it—and yet the timing wasn't right for me to make such a big leap.
I wasn't the person I needed to be, with the experience I needed to have, to just up sticks and wing it, freelance.
And when the Health Informatics job that I eventually took was on the horizon, the careers advisor I'd been working with even flagged it. After I'd filled in several career workbooks, dreamed big and had all sorts of personality & skills analysis, I'd decided to take the Informatics job and was warned,
> *“You know this isn't what you really want to do, don't you?”*
And honestly, I kind of did. But I was ok with that.
## Stepping stones
I still had one eye on the Big Dream, so when it came to making any decisions about a short term career change, I just made sure I didn't actively close the door on it, and I could keep it alive.
I saw every change that I made as a stepping stone, rather than a big leap.
So for instance, when I was living in Leeds, looking for jobs outside of medicine, knowing that ultimately I wanted to ride-my-bike-and-write-about-it, it made no sense at all to move to London. There are no long, mountainous climbs in the big smoke, so I just ruled it out completely.
And ended up moving to Wales. (Where there's lots of that.)
I knew I couldn't take another clinical job where I'd be working shifts and sleeping through the day, or be revising for exams outside of work, because that would be shutting the door on ride-bike-and-write-about-it.
And ended up taking a University job with fairly flexible hours.
Turns out, it was only a matter of two years before I had my first cycling magazine article published, got taken on as a freelancer to be sent all over Europe to ride my bike and write about it and ended up leaving the job.
## What no one will tell you
I've seen this time and again, as I move onwards, following my nose and doing more of what I like, and less of what I don't – it's all just stepping stones.
Especially in the world of coaching, where one of the first questions you get asked is, *If I had a magic wand, what would you love to have happen? …* the mind then tends to get this impression that if we *do* have something we really want to achieve, we should (🚩) drop everything and grab it by the horns, to the exclusion of all else.
And because that's often not practical or feasible, instead, we stay stuck. Like the client who came to me with this exact problem.
But I wish someone had told me a long time ago, like I'm about to tell you:
⚠️
****The next career move you make doesn't have to be ‘it’.**
It can just be a stepping stone.
The world works in mysterious ways, and [if you're moving](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-loves-a-moving-target/)—in any direction—with a Big Dream in the back of your mind… you may be surprised at how quickly, possibly indirectly, you can get there.
💟
Giles
p.s. If you'd like to read more on the topic, here's a link to all the Daily Reminders [tagged with ‘Careers](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/careers/)’.
### Related
[Taking your foot off the brakesHow to find (i.e. stop getting in the way of) purpose and direction 🚀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/taking-your-foot-off-the-brakes/)
More on getting-out-of-your-own-way
[Episode 31 - Changing Careers and Following Your Wisdom with Dr Giles P CroftPodcast Episode · The Mind Takeaway Podcast · 17 May 2020 · 50mApple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/episode-31-changing-careers-and-following-your-wisdom/id1472957490?i=1000474903296&ref=gilespcroft.com)
An episode of The Mind Takeaway podcast, where I was quizzed about Career Change
### Low mood writing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/low-mood-writing/
Last updated: 2026-02-22T07:00:17.000Z
If I write about low moods, it’s usually from the vantage point of having some perspective. I’ll be relating the tale of someone else’s low mood that I’ve helped them with, or remarking about one I’ve experienced myself, and how it didn’t last.
But today, it feels like wading through sludge. I’m actually in one!
So at the risk of being quite literally ‘self-indulgent’ (for what is a low mood but a congealed sense of self?) let’s do some mood-anthropology and see what it looks like from inside.
🕵🏻♂️
Not much! There’s a heaviness and a slowness. Enthusiasm is sorely lacking – things that would normally interest me, just don’t. Everything feels wrong. Nothing seems ‘good’. Not even music.
I’ve started writing this Daily Reminder, using different topics from my long list of inspiration, three or four times, and each time it’s just been rubbish. I feel I have nothing helpful to say, even though I know deep down that there’s gold in some of those ideas – I just can’t get to it today!
I was [trying](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/), and it obviously wasn’t working, so I gave up trying. Stepped away from my desk. (I’m writing this in the bedroom, on my iPad.)
The mind has packed its bags, ready to take me to ‘[never-land](https://www.gilespcroft.com/buying-a-ticket-to-neverland/)’ but I’m not biting. That one’s too obvious and I have enough evidence under my belt that things will flow again, another day. So I haven’t *deleted* the good ideas or anything, I’ve just put them to one side, to be re-examined on one of those ‘other days’.
A low mood is not the place to be making decisions!
I don’t feel like I’m much use to anyone—wife, daughter, you—and I’ll play small for the day. But I made food and I put laundry on and I hung it out when it had finished and from the outside it all looks the same as any other day.
I have dozed. Just 15 minutes. Upon waking is when it occurred to me to write *in* a low mood (rather than avoiding it).
And it’s not so bad, is it? I have always described coaching as ‘being human with people, to show them it’s ok to be human’ and this one’s delivering in spades! 😆
I think the only drawback to writing about this state of mind, from actually *within* this state of mind, is that it’s all a bit same-y, isn’t it? Don’t know about you, but every low mood I’ve ever been in feels identical to the rest of them.
Flat. Heavy. Unenthusiastic. Same-y.
But I’ve done it now. Can’t say I feel any different—a bit amused, perhaps—but it’s done.
Tomorrow’s another day!
💟
Giles
### Related
###
[Low mood, stay quietA beautiful poem for the dark days 🌤️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://gilespcroft.com/low-mood-stay-quiet/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Remembered this one too – such a lovely poem! 💝
### Are you reinforcing bad behaviour?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-reinforcing-bad-behaviour/
Last updated: 2026-02-21T07:00:16.000Z
Anyone who's trained animals (including children 😉) knows that rewarding a certain behaviour is likely to deliver more of it.
It's basic ‘operant conditioning’ and links back to the pattern-matching mind: if it sees itself making gains from behaving in a particular way, it'll do more of that.
Pretty straightforward.
So if a dog barked excessively for attention and got it, or was given a lovely treat every time it destroyed your shoes, you could reasonably expect a lot of noise and a steep footwear bill.
Ditto for kids and tantrums: if you cave in and reward every tantrum with the object of that little Ego Construct's 📦 desire, tantrums are going to feature heavily in your life.
It's just minds, at work.
Trouble is, it takes two to tango like this, and on the *other* side of the equation is a mind that would like a quiet life, and has a tendency to take the path of least resistance to get it wants, too.
So in the short term it's often easier, and makes more sense to a mind, to put a halt to said barking or tantruming by ‘giving in’ … thereby innocently reinforcing the behaviour.
(No judgement here – sometimes as a parent I will find a hill to die on and dig in for the ensuing hundred-year war; other times I just can't be arsed and roll over immediately.)
---
But bad parenting advice aside, I got to thinking… don't we do this with the monkey-mind, too?
🐒
It blathers and whines and barks order at us and throws tantrums and aches with desire… and we take it all really seriously, and give it what it wants, just to shut it up.
A little dopamine hit here. A spot of procrastination there. Ducking into the fridge, to placate an urge or a sad thought. Avoiding ‘hard’ conversations. A bit of light online shopping to ‘lift our mood’.
Isn't it the same thing?
Rewarding the mind's patterns of behaviour by taking the path of least resistance, thereby innocently reinforcing it and sending the message:
> *“I'd like more of this please.”*
The good thing about operant conditioning is that it works both ways. And in the words of Hindu Yogi, Sri Yukteswar:
> *“An ignored guest quickly leaves.”*
💟
Giles
### Related
[What’s your ‘single story’?Lazy, inaccurate, limiting stereotypes… that we direct against ourselves 😢The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whats-your-single-story/)
It's even worse when we reward identity-based stories 😱
### An argument you'll win
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/an-argument-youll-win/
Last updated: 2026-02-20T07:00:51.000Z
After yesterday's post on [how arguments start](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-arguments-start/), and the recent one on having a [relationship in your head](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-having-a-relationship-in-your-head/), I knew there was a comic strip I'd seen a while ago that brings it all home:
[](https://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2021/02/09?ref=gilespcroft.com)
[](https://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2021/02/10?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Original ‘Pickles’ comic strip, by Brian Crane: [https://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2021/02/10](https://www.gocomics.com/pickles/2021/02/10?ref=gilespcroft.com)
I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry.
🎭
Giles
### Related
[Are you having a relationship in your head?An innocent, and quietly destructive practice we’re all guilty of, me included 🙊The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-having-a-relationship-in-your-head/)
### How arguments start
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-arguments-start/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T00:05:22.000Z
Let's face it, pretty much everything in life comes down to relationship. Whether it's at home, in the workplace, online, or just [in our heads](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-having-a-relationship-in-your-head/), we have interactions with other people all the time.
Which means disagreements, of course.
Disagreement isn't bad *per se* (there's no learning, no growth without being wrong about stuff and having our beliefs challenged), but it can become problematic when it's habitual (posing as an insurmountable obstacle), or when it regularly escalates to hostility.
I'm reading a great little book at the moment ([Unbreak Your Heart](https://amzn.to/4aoViGH?ref=gilespcroft.com) by Linda & George Pransky) and right from the outset it's got me chuckling at how easily we fall for the mind's tricks, as it causes disagreements with those closest to us.
There's a story from Linda, that's just so… *normal* and so *obvious* that I want to share it with you, because it shows just how easily arguments start (and more importantly, how easily they can be avoided).
See how much of this resonates for you (I've spotted myself doing things like this before):
## End of day expectations
Linda is always home from work before George, and really looks forward to seeing him. She's missed him, wants to catch up, share details of their respective days and have some quality time together – a loving connection. It's a marriage!
Trouble is, it never works out like that. Most days he comes in all stressed, ignores her and immediately starts making phone calls. In her own words:
> *“I would feel insulted, misused, hurt and upset. As soon as he would get off the phone, I would say to him (with a bad tone) ‘Well, that wasn't much of a greeting!’ He would respond defensively and would accuse me of being critical. And then I would get defensive and accuse him of being insensitive. This would often lead to a heated argument, leaving both of us exhausted, unsatisfied and upset.”*
Don't know about you, but there's nothing weird or unusual about that to me. I've definitely spent time apart from my wife, and had a little story going on in my head about how things will be (‘should’ 🚩 be) when we see each other again.
But look how destructive it can be! This was one of many foibles Linda & George experienced early on in their marriage, and for a time they thought they had to get divorced (their first book, [*The Relationship Handbook*](https://amzn.to/4rUm27w?ref=gilespcroft.com), tellingly was originally called *‘Divorce is not the answer’)*.
Crucially, she says,
> *“I would stand there and have lots of thoughts.”*
And *that's* the real relationship killer: the meaning-making, the analysis, the layer upon layer of story, *not* the original thought.
Anyway, one day, when she's pretty much resigned herself to this disappointing-husband behaviour, she observes George stomping through the door at the end of the day, ditching his work stuff and crashing off elsewhere in the house, and suddenly notices how completely overwhelmed he looks; something she'd not really clocked before.
And she has an insight. She realises he's so completely lost in his *own* painful little world of thought (just like she's lost in hers), that there's no way he's in a state of mind to form a loving connection with her, there and then.
And everything changes.
## The turnaround
She says,
> *“I was making up all kinds of things about our relationship and even wondered whether I should *be* in a relationship with him. All this thinking was making me feel worse and worse about our relationship.*
> *In one defining moment, I realised that none of that thinking was true because his behaviour had nothing to do with me or our relationship. He just couldn't see past his busy mind.”*
This gives her the space to approach the situation from an entirely fresh perspective, because she's seen that *he's* not the problem, and *she's* not the problem, it's simply the fact that they've both failed to notice they're caught up in their own little [separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/) that's getting in the way of them having a real connection.
> *“The circumstances had stayed the same, but my thinking changed and in turn my feeling changed … it occurred to me what to do.”*
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the Innate Health understanding in action.
Normal, obvious and completely life-changing.
## Before you jump to conclusions
Remember [the one about ‘should](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/)’ (🚩) and the disclaimer I shared with you?
> **This is NOT advice. There is nothing you ‘should’ do as a result.**
Minds love a rule, but what worked for them, in their very specific situation doesn't mean that this is the solution for you and your specific situation.
All it's doing is pointing to *why* these disagreements occur in the first place—to the basic, underlying principles—so that misunderstanding gets cleared out of the way and you can find your *own* solutions to whatever it is you're up against.
You got this!
🙌🏻
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Expectations - The Daily RemindersQuite possibly the ultimate source of our malcontent. They’re not ‘bad’ but it pays to spot them. 🕵🏻♀️The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/expectations/)
We're back here again, aren't we? The mind's expectations lie at the heart of so much suffering!
### When you least expect it
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-you-least-expect-it/
Last updated: 2026-02-18T07:00:20.000Z
I was working with a client who was exhibiting all sorts of very human tendencies:
- They were super-busy
- They were juggling many commitments
- Prioritising everything had become a full time job
- Everything seemed on the edge of getting overlooked
Of course it resonates, because this is pretty much 21st Century life. There are no flying cars, the robots aren't making life any easier and we're bombarded with senseless crap and bad news from every quarter.
What to do?
My honest answer to my client: I dunno.
🤷🏻♂️
## Slightly less rubbish answer
But then, it certainly helps to see what's going on, and where our sense of injustice, or panic, or overwhelm is coming from – not from the situation, but from [the mind's response *to* the situation](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-happens-how-you-feel/).
A response, incidentally, that tends to distract you from the reality of Now, and consequently drowns out your common sense and wisdom, with its white noise.
*Yes Giles, talking of white noise, you keep bleating on about this, but what actual difference does it make?* (you're saying in my head, now.)
It makes every difference. (When we spot it.)
I've got Richard Carlson's amazing book [*You Can Be Happy No Matter What*](https://amzn.to/4rxxWEA?ref=gilespcroft.com) on my desk right now, and as I flip it open to one of its many turned-down-corner pages, straight away I read:
> *“When your attention is primarily in the present moment, the bulk of your experience comes from a place of wisdom, rather than reactivity. Although you will feel content … you won't repress or deny anything that's truly relevant.”*
See? We agree.
The trouble is, the mind *hates* that. It has no job to do in the present moment, and the mind is like the ultimate jobsworth! It's got rules. It needs ‘you’ (itself) to play by them, *or else* … and yet all this disappears in the present moment. By definition, ‘the present moment’ is the *absence* of the conceptual mind.
So it will do whatever it can to retain its job. And it's very good at it.
This is what we're up against.
## How that experience changes
If it helps, here's what I emailed my client, after our session, as a bit of follow up:
It's so easy (like, really easy!!) to get sucked into the mind's insistent stories about what needs to happen ‘in order for...’ things to be ok, but the experience you're looking for—however busy the schedule is!—is ****right here, right now**, and has nothing to do with the mind.
You don't need to let the mind place conditions on when you get to feel that sense of presence. That'll keep you stuck!
But there's more. You see, paradoxically, it's having this on your radar—even the *possibility* of presence—at the times when you least expect it (oxymoron alert!), that is likely to lead to the sort of realisation that really makes a difference.
Here's what I wrote next:
In fact, the biggest insights people generally have, tend to come when they notice that sense of peace when it ‘shouldn't’ be happening, e.g.
- Noticing the stillness beneath an angry outburst
- Noticing a deep, inner okayness when physically unwell
- Noticing a sense of peace, underlying the nerves of a presentation
- Noticing a firm, inner knowing that everything will be ok, in the midst of tragic circumstances
- Noticing profound feelings of love and gratitude in the midst of loss or grief
Some of these I've experienced myself, others I've seen in clients or heard tell of (the list goes on).
It pulls the rug out from underneath the habitual stories that the mind is telling—the stories that keep us stuck in old patterns of reaction, emotion and behaviour—and returns us immediately to what is always there, always true, never changing: the spiritual essence of our TRUE NATURE.
Pure presence, however briefly. It's incredibly nourishing to know it's there!
---
I don't know what to do about other people's overwhelm (I don't know what to do about my own, half the time!) but I do know that feelings of stress and overwhelm are transient and thought-based, and that *underneath* all that, lie the still waters of who-I-really-am.
I'll let Richard close this one out:
> *“The only way to experience genuine and lasting contentment, satisfaction and happiness is to learn to live your life in the present moment. Regardless of your past experiences, the specifics of your current circumstances, how much you analyse your past or speculate about your future, you will never be happy until you learn to live in the present moment.”*
💝
Giles
### Related
[Daydreaming vs. worrying“Is it ok to daydream?” is a question I have been asked many a time 💭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/daydreaming-vs-worrying/)
Just in case your mind goes there. “But what about…” is a common reaction!
### Are you having a relationship in your head?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-having-a-relationship-in-your-head/
Last updated: 2026-03-11T16:40:01.000Z
I heard something coming out of my mouth the other day, that made me sit up and listen. It was in conversation with a client, and they were having some difficulties with their partner.
I listened to all the details. The whys and the wherefores, the happenings and interactions. The assessments, the concerns, the conclusions, the worries. The paths that could be taken and where they'd likely lead.
It all made a lot of sense: there's absolutely no denying that [relationships are hard](https://www.gilespcroft.com/love-isnt-supposed-to-be-easy/), at times.
And after ascertaining how much of this had been *shared* with said partner, it transpired that for good reason, it was very little.
I wasn't really advising a course of action, or even trying to point in a particular direction or anything, I was just thinking out loud, when I heard myself say,
> *“Sounds like you're having quite the relationship in your head, there?”*
😐
I don't know what sort of impact it had on my client—I'll find out next time we speak\*—but it certainly had an impact on me. One of those pithy little throwaway observations that sinks in further, as time goes by.
Because it got me thinking: what proportion of our relationships (of any flavour) actually happen in real life, and what proportion happen in our minds?
If you have a life partner, or someone you share a home with, just reflect on that for a moment.
How many of the ‘conversations’ that you have are real, spoken-out-loud-in-their-presence conversations (what we collectively call ‘communication’, lol), and how much of the business of your relationship is just going on in your head?
🤔
## Where we get caught out
Lest you get the impression I'm taking the moral high ground here, I'm really not. The whole reason this throwaway comment of mine stuck with me enough to be writing about it now, is because I realised how much *I* do this!
I'm a ‘quiet’ person, as in, I like quiet. (I'm almost certain I'll attend a silent retreat at some point in the future – the attraction is quite compelling.)
But no way is there a 1:1 ‘quiet ratio’ between Giles vocally and Giles mentally – because I'm human! 😂
And I think that's fine—it's pretty natural—so long as we're aware of ourselves doing it, and we don't get too lost in the illusion that any of it is actually *real.*
Because what can happen is that those ‘conversations’ happening in our heads can look, to the mind, and in memory, like they *actually* happened.
(Even if we know they didn't. Which is no great surprise when we remember that the entirety of our experience—even the conversations that *did* happen for real—is [created from the Principle of Thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/)… is it any wonder the mind can't differentiate?!)
And so we can innocently bring the content all of those imaginary conversations (and all the actions that your spouse takes, in your head) into the next real conversation we have.
On some level, it seems like they should almost be aware of all the stuff they said and did (in our heads), because it genuinely looks like *they* said and did it!!
And that, quite obviously, can be a problem.
😱
## What to do
Now I've pointed it out, just keep a little informal tally today, of how much you do this. It can be in relation to your partner, a family member, your children – anyone.
How much of that important relationship that you have, is real and how much of it is imagined?
I know which I prefer having an experience of, but you'll have to make your own mind up about yours.
Feel free to report your findings in the comments!
💟
Giles
\*p.s. A big impact, I discovered. Turns out, it was just what they needed to hear. They hadn't appreciated just how much of the ‘problem’ was rattling around inside their own head, and this coaching conversation led to renewed communication and reconnecting with their partner 💞
### Related
[‘People prep’What exactly does your mind think it’s trying to achieve here? 🗒️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/people-prep/)
We all do it. Principles, see?
### Practice!
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice/
Last updated: 2026-05-29T11:59:38.000Z
It's the beginning of the week, so let's don our practical hats and get to business by…
> *Doing nothing, Giles? Isn't that the thing? Letting go of expectations and the illusion of control and just going with the infinitely creative flow of life?*
Well, yes… and no.
## Yes, because:
It's all our *effort*\-ing, our dancing-to-the-tune of the mind, our [*trying*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/)to change things and mould things and control things that tends to get in the way of us:
- being ourselves
- doing our best work
- being in harmony with life's energy (which includes ‘others’, naturally).
So there's that.
But/and…
## No, because:
It's really easy to just read these Daily Reminders, nod sagely as the words resonate with your existing belief system, and then carry on innocently effort-ing and ‘managing’ your little neck of the universal woods; consequently seeing little, if anything ever actually change.
🤷🏻♂️
My ears pricked up with a comment one of you left on a Daily Reminder, the other day. I'd been relating the tale of how, when [I was completely bed-bound with illness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/observing-symptoms/), I used it as an opportunity to get some distance from the notion of self:
> *“I zoomed out a bit. Took the view of the non-judgemental observer of the nausea. And then out a bit more, taking the view of the observing of the observer. (Feeling like you’re at death’s door is the perfect opportunity to try this stuff! 😆)”*
And someone commented:
> *“…it made me think how easy it is (for me) to stay in an intellectual understanding and not shift into simply experiencing life. I'm not turning it into a thing to do but it did wake me up … if only for a brief moment.”*
And I thought, *Good – let's turn it into a thing!*
It's like the Daily Reminder from a couple of days ago – [*Just tree*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-tree/). There are two ways to approach reading that one:
1. Nod sagely, smile, agree, think about maybe sharing it with someone yourself, because it's a great story, isn't it – it really taps into the human condition? Oh man, I *love* reading this stuff!
2. *Actually* take a moment to slow right and let the perception of some everyday moment or object just hit your senses, without judgement, for no good reason.
The latter is different. It's new. The mind will think it's pointless and yet you'll get a much bigger return on your investment, because the more you do this with easy, unnecessary stuff, the more you'll find yourself just doing it naturally, when the chips are down.
That's because:
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us.
But how's it going to make sense to do, if you don't have any experience of it at all?
🤔
## Let's make it memorable
There's a superb little meme going around at the moment that brings this home, visually. Depending on who's posted it, and the angle they're pushing, the accompanying text is different, but it's some variation on a theme of:
> *“Me, when I remember that simply slowing down allows me to experience the peace and wellbeing I crave.”*
Here you go:
0:00
/0:20
1×
“When you realize that going slow is the secret to having a regulated nervous system.” Source: [Twitter/X](https://x.com/doctors%5Fsquad/status/2019613624483082533/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
So today, this week, this lifetime, why not commit to actually relaxing into self-less presence, every now and again.
Instead of just thinking about it.
💟
Giles
p.s. *“But Giles, how do you square this with your oft-touted notion of *‘To experience wellbeing, there's nothing to do, only something to see?’*”*
Well, why not think of it as ‘practicing seeing’? 😉
### Related
[Get your own evidenceUsing some basic IF/THEN logic to completely change our lives 🚀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/)
Taking it one logical step further.
### Change, to order
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/change-to-order/
Last updated: 2026-02-15T07:00:15.000Z
It’s fairly easy to see that we can’t control what other people do, or make situations change at will.
(Doesn’t stop the mind trying, though, eh? 😆)
But had you ever considered that you don’t get to choose when personal (i.e. inner) change occurs, either?
I only ask, because one of the most common reactions to a client having an insight (and things shifting considerably for them, as a result) is:
> *“Now, why didn’t I see that before?!”*
Or its bedfellow,
> *“Why has this taken me so long?!”*
Both of which, if you’re eagle-eyed have a hidden red flag in there:
> 📦🗣️ *“This should (🚩) have happened sooner.”*
But here's your Sunday ‘What if…’ to ponder.
What if… that's just a mind, observing change happening, not really understanding it, incorrectly concluding that it's been *responsible* for this change ([it really hasn’t](https://www.gilespcroft.com/habits-come-and-go/)) and then getting all het up with itself because if this change *was* its responsibility ([it really wasn’t](https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-cant-do-it/)) then it should (🚩) have done a better job?
Because if that's the case, we can safely dismiss it as more useless mind rubbish, stop [*trying*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/)to make change happen wilfully, be [grateful for the changes](https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-me/) we *have* seen and relax back into the flow of life.
You know – where change is more likely to happen.
💖
Giles
### Related
[“I can’t do it!”Maybe the struggle lies more in misunderstanding, than adversity? 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-cant-do-it/)
What d'you mean “I'm not doing it?!”
### Love isn't supposed to be easy
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/love-isnt-supposed-to-be-easy/
Last updated: 2026-02-14T07:00:32.000Z
It's Valentine's Day, so let's take a quick look at why relationships seem so hard.
(We like to keep it real, here at the Daily Reminders 😉)
I came across this, online. Don't ask me whence it came, nor even if it's ‘real’ but it certainly got me pondering the nature of relationships, so I don't really care one way or the other:
0:00
/0:52
1×
Extra marks for being able to name any of the cultural references. I think I scored 3\.
> The person you love most
> Is also the one who triggers you most.
> That's not a coincidence
> It's how love actually works.
> Your partner isn't there
> Just to make you happy.
> They're there to show you
> The parts of yourself you've been avoiding
> The wounds that haven't healed
> The patterns that keep repeating.
> The way they challenge you
> The way they make you feel
> Exposed and vulnerable
> That's not a problem with your relationship
> That's love doing its job.
> Real love doesn't just comfort you
> It forces you to grow
> It holds up a mirror
> To your worst habits and deepest fears
> It makes you confront
> The version of yourself you'd rather ignore.
> That's why relationships are so hard:
> You're not just dealing with another person
> You're dealing with everything they bring up in you
> That you thought you had handled.
> Love isn't supposed to be easy.
> It's supposed to change you.
All of which kind of makes sense when we slow down and realise, once more, that all we ever *really* experience is not that ‘other person’ but our own Thought System, being reflected outwards into the world.
We meet a different version of them every time, because we're meeting a *picture* of them, brought to life by the immense power of thought, as it is spun through the prism of our own state of mind, our beliefs and our conditioning.
A relationship is a mirror.
Without the reactions and behaviours of others—especially those we love most—how would we even know anything of ourselves in the first place?
💖
Giles
### Related
[The one relationship that defines all othersWhat we mean when we trot out the frankly ridiculous saying, “There are no other people.” 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/)
### Just tree
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-tree/
Last updated: 2026-02-13T07:00:52.000Z
A week ago, in a Daily Reminder that looked at how the mind will sometimes try and turn the Innate Health understanding into a [set of rules](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) it can operate by, I casually dropped in this statement:
> *We get this experience of Now – pure presence, or flow, or pure, uncontaminated Thought-perception (‘*Just tree*’ as the Buddhists call it).*
…and the story of *‘Just tree’* is so good, and has helped me so much, that I wanted to share it with you.
I came across it in Michael A. Singer’s brilliant book (his best, IMHO), [*Living Untethered*](https://amzn.to/3M6IRpH?ref=gilespcroft.com). In the run up to *‘Just tree’,* he’s talking in very straightforward terms about the inside-out understanding, and how we don’t experience the world directly, even though it looks like we do.
He brings up the example of the old Rorschach, or ink-blot test, where psychologists show you a random ink-blot on a sheet of paper and ask you what you see – something we’ve all heard of, and probably all seen, but like so many things, we gloss over its significance.
Everybody perceives, thinks, and *feels* something different, when they look at an ink-blot… so it can’t be coming from the ink-blot!!
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality.
Having pointed out the fact that the entirety of life is basically one big Rorschach test, he then relates the tale:
🌳
A young Buddhist monk in a monastery has daily sessions with the Zen master, and one day shows up differently.
**“What happened to you?”* the Zen master asks, **“You look so alive and filled with light!”*
After initial puzzlement has subsided, the monk replies,
**“I was walking across the courtyard and saw the big oak tree. I stopped and looked at it. I had seen it many times before, but this time I saw* ***just tree** *. I just saw the tree. Somehow it took me to such a deep place, I felt an awakening. It took me beyond myself.”*
**“That tree has been there for hundreds of years,”* the master tells him. **“You have walked by that tree every single day since you’ve been here.”*
**“Yes,”* the student says, **“but when I previously walked by the tree, it often reminded me of the tree Buddha sat under when he reached enlightenment. Other times, the tree reminded me of the one I fell out of when I was little. The tree always stimulated thought patterns from my past. This time I saw* ***just tree** *.”*
The master smiles.
These tales of Zen can sound a bit esoteric and mystical, but they’re very straightforward really (a product of the fact that there’s only ever really [one thing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-one-solution/) going on, and everybody’s [pointing to it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/), in their own [special way](https://www.gilespcroft.com/isnt-this-just-another-religion/)).
Our senses—which you can think of as Thought-perception (the Principle of Thought, in [3Ps](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) terminology)—deliver an experience to us. And before the mind jumps in and starts analysing it all, and asking its eternal question, *But what does this mean for *me*?!* it is pure. Uncontaminated.
It's *‘just tree’*. It's the closest you're going to get to reality. (Which is wondrous, and awe-inspring.)
And then of course, because you're human, you've got this Thought System 📦 (or ego) that's [full of past experience](https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/). And it uses all of that cruft—that's yours, and yours alone; it ain't true!—to judge and analyse and compare, and *remove* you from the experience of life that's happening, right under your nose.
It creates distance. It separates us and disconnects us from life. (Which is wondrous, and awe-inspiring.)
All of a sudden, *‘just tree’* (i.e.life itself) is gone, and we're experiencing our past and our prejudices and the mind's [expectations](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/expectations/) instead.
😢
## Why is this important?
For me, tales like this are all part and parcel of [getting your own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/). Of waking up to the dream; of seeing the all-encompassing nature of the principles by which you're having this experience of life.
Because when you've clocked *‘just tree’* a few times (which let's face is, isn't hard), before you know it, you'll be experiencing *‘just email’*… *‘just partner’*… *‘just thought’*.
So why not try it out, today? Catch yourself, let your mind relax out of analysis-mode just for a moment or two—give it a well-earned break!—and allow yourself to experience *‘just…’*
💝
Giles
### Related
[Practice vs. perfectWhat’s the difference between the 3Ps and mindfulness? 🧘🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice-vs-perfect/)
### Elementary!
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/elementary/
Last updated: 2026-04-07T15:26:54.000Z
After manyyears of dreaming about it\*, and talking about it, I'm now actually *writing* a book. For publication and everything. I've committed to a programme that should see it in print before the end of the year.
And right here, right now, I'm taking the rash decision of sharing the working title with you too, even though it could change before it hits the shelves. It's:
📔
****Life In Focus**: **How to Kick the Self-Help Habit and Enjoy Life, Without Being Told What to Do*
*(It's ok, everything has a really long subtitle these days.)*
In fairness to my internal critic, I have actually been writing it—one chapter at a time—for the last 6½ years, manifesting as individual pieces of published writing for the **Focus** Magazine, a local periodical here in South Wales.
This has left me with many (more than I can use in one book) polished pieces of prose, all **focused** on different aspects of life, seen from an Innate Health perspective. (I have shared the odd one with you, from time to time, as optional extras.)
They are currently being strung together into a sensible narrative arc. ([A clue](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/))
I picked this particular narrative theme—escaping the trap of ‘personal development’, in its many guises—because it most closely echoes my own journey. Being pointed in this direction and subsequently realising for myself that there was [nothing wrong with me](https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-me/) was a sharply delineated [turning point](https://www.gilespcroft.com/six-years-old/) – the key that unlocked the door to an *entirely* new way of seeing and being in life.
(And in that way that the [creative floodgates](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creativity-is-endless/) are often hard to close, once opened, I already have a second book planned, focused more on mental health.)
So anyway, there we are – I'm on the record, and that's many hundreds of you who can now hold me accountable.
☺️
## Origin story
I was bed-bound with a tummy bug that ripped through our household last week, and scrabbling around for [ways to distract myself](https://www.gilespcroft.com/observing-symptoms/), I found that my Audible subscription included the complete canon of Sherlock Holmes, as narrated by Stephen Fry (quite possibly the most British thing you could ever hope to encounter 🇬🇧💂🏻♂️).
It's been multiple decades since I read any, and as soon as I started listening, I remembered just how instrumental these stories from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle had been in my early life. I *loved* these books!!
I was a voracious reader as a child (Mum used to take us to the library once a week, for a whole evening) and one year a friend of the family bought me *The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes* as a Christmas present. It was easily the biggest, fattest book I'd ever attempted (I could barely lift it), but I had my nose in it at every opportunity.
I love the way he writes and in far hindsight, it's possible I've picked up some of his overly-wordy mannerisms (for why merely *tell someone* something, when you could instead *“bring forward all the facts”;* nor *wear simple clothing*, when you could *“affect a certain quiet primness of dress”)*
A proponent of [Strunk & White](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The%5FElements%5Fof%5FStyle?ref=gilespcroft.com)'s classic maxim, ‘Omit needless words’ Conan Doyle was not!
😂
## Holmes does basic principles
But the thing that stood out to me, from re-reading that first story—*A Study in Scarlet*—was Holmes’ chiding of the two Detective Inspectors, for layering unnecessary, unwarranted and downright obfuscating complexity of explanation onto a relatively simple case:
> *“All this seems strange to you, because you failed at the beginning of the inquiry to grasp the importance of the single real clue which was presented to you. I had the good fortune to seize upon that, and everything which has occurred since then has served to confirm my original supposition… Things which have perplexed you and made the case more obscure have served to enlighten me and to strengthen my conclusions.”*
And I thought – just like the Innate Health understanding! It too is based on principles, that have a tendency to clear everything up. That's because:
🔑
****Key Message**: PRINCIPLES are:
1\. Constant – e.g. ‘**single real clue’*
2\. Explanatory – e.g. ‘**strengthen conclusions’*
3\. Predictive – e.g. ‘**confirm suppositions’*
In my life, all *used* to ‘seem strange to me’, and ‘perplex me’ but this was only because nobody had pointed me toward the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com). And when we're operating in an environment where we don't properly know how something works (like our own psychology, for instance), then we do indeed, very innocently, layer unnecessary, unwarranted and downright obfuscating complexity onto *everything!*
(Have a look at the field of mental health and the [ever-ballooning list of DSM](https://www.theguardian.com/news/2026/feb/10/what-i-see-in-clinic-is-never-a-set-of-labels-are-we-in-danger-of-overdiagnosing-mental-illness?ref=gilespcroft.com) ‘diagnoses’ if you want evidence.)
These days, clients show up in my practice with all manner of issues they want to address (including on some subjects I know nothing about), but I'm able to help, because working from the most fundamental principles of human psychology and behaviour, everything becomes more simple. Explanations are barn door obvious. Predictions are just common sense.
It's elementary!
I'll leave you with word from [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com), who elucidated the principles behind human psychology, some 50+ years ago:
[](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“Look for simplicity. Simplicity always holds the key you're looking for. And that key... it opens the door to wisdom.”*
> \~ Sydney Banks
💟
Giles
\*There have been two false starts. 📗 The first book I started was in 2007, when I began pulling together all my diary entries from my 4,000 mile, 3-month solo cycle ride to Turkey and back. 📘 The second was a written version of my 10 Principles of Career Change conference talk– and both have been instrumental in where I find myself today ☺️
### Related
[Books write themselves (like life)The relationships between plotting/planning and ‘real creation’ 📝The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/books-write-themselves-like-life/)
### Additive vs. subtractive
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/additive-vs-subtractive/
Last updated: 2026-09-07T19:56:02.000Z
I'm a sucker for a clever meme, and I recently started seeing this guy's posts appearing in my feed ([Anton Guzim](https://www.instagram.com/%5Fyes%5Fbut/?ref=gilespcroft.com), a Kazakh artist). This one hit the outside-in misunderstanding so on the mark, I kept hold of it for you:
[](https://www.instagram.com/p/DUD9hECDDo1/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
It's funny because it's (sadly) true | [Link to original post](https://www.instagram.com/p/DUD9hECDDo1/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The difference between ‘additive’ and ‘subtractive’ approaches is something I first heard Jamie Smart talking about in his book [Results](https://amzn.to/4rbRApR?ref=gilespcroft.com).
He calls out this very practice: the world constantly bombarding us with images and messages that we are not enough, that there's something missing, that if only we do these five things, or remember these ten top tips, or use this product or supplement or commit to this daily routine or…
Adding, adding, adding. Adding to what?
Something that is already whole! Who you really are. Your [TRUE NATURE](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/).
Which is why the **additive** model doesn't (can't!) ever work and why they can keep selling you the next thing to ‘improve yourself’ … because they know you have a mind and it gets insecure and it too believes in the outside-in misunderstanding (it's the source of it!) and is an absolute sucker for ‘self’-improvement.
Resist! ✊🏻
The answers, of course, are **subtractive**: removing all the misunderstanding and muddled thinking the world has filled our minds with, so we can spend more time present, connected and clear-minded.
It's where I often start off in my 6 Week RECONNECT course, as we begin the process of looking towards what's true and seeing through what's not:
0:00
/3:08
1×
So by all means ‘BE YOURSELF’ … and don't feel there's any more to that statement.
💟
Giles
p.s. As I've got my head fully into book-writing, I have no immediate plans to run the course, but if you'd like to learn more and get your name down on the waiting list for the next time I run it, head over to to watch a more in depth course video, and leave your details to hear about it first.
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[TRUE NATURE - The Daily RemindersLooking beyond the illusion of the separate self, to who we really are. Deeper posts, with a non-dual bent. ✨The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/)
### Observing symptoms
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/observing-symptoms/
Last updated: 2026-05-29T11:59:16.000Z
Having just had some enforced time out through illness, and given that you’re human and you’ll be doing the same at some point too, it would be remiss of me not to share my observations. Here are three for you:
### 1\. Doing nothing *seems* hard
I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know here, but my *word* are we programmed to be *doing!!* Take ‘doing stuff’ away from a fully conditioned human, and the wheels feel like they’re coming off, pretty damn quickly.
Even when I was sick as a dog, incapable of putting my mind to anything vaguely work-related, I noticed the mind still looking for something to do. *Anything* but nothing! Watch TV. Listen to music or an audiobook or a podcast.
(At about this time, my wife’ll be dropping in to suggest I take up knitting: The Panacea 😉)
> 📦🗣️: “*Don’t make me just BE ill!!”* it says.
And I’ve written that it *‘seems’* hard, because it can’t be, really, can it? How can resting—not doing anything—be difficult?
It’s the opposite of hard, surely?
🤔
We’re funny creatures, us humans; the things we’ve learned to accept as ‘normal’.
### 2\. Being, with symptoms
Look, I get it. Distraction is pretty effective—no bad thing!—especially when the alternative is… fully experiencing symptoms.
🤢
It’s just that there are limitations to using distraction as a technique in general. Because, as with all coping mechanisms, there’ll come a time when you *can’t* rely on it (or it becomes unhealthy/an addiction).
And then you’ll have a baptism in the fire of ‘just being’.
🫣😆
I discovered this, lying there in my pit of illness. I’d actually had enough of distraction, I couldn’t handle any more. I needed to rest; I needed sleep.
📦🗣️: *“If you get some rest, you might feel well enough to write a quick Daily Reminder, afterwards,”* it says. 🙄
I mean, FFS. How about we just rest, eh? That’s clearly what’s required here.
I lay there, but I couldn’t sleep because I felt too nauseous.
😑
Then I got a bit curious about that word – ‘because’.
Is that *really* why I couldn’t sleep? Haven’t I said before that [there are only ever two things keeping you awake](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-things-keeping-you-awake/)? Which was this?
🧐
On the helpful-harmful scale, this one looked ‘harmful’. Nausea looked ‘bad’. Something to be avoided. Something to get rid of, before I could indulge in that most natural of processes: sleeping, when you’re knackered.
But nausea was just happening. It was out of my control. If I was going to be sick I was going to be sick – freaking out about nausea, or focusing on it as a *reason* for not sleeping wasn’t going to change that.
It was a life sensation, like any other.
So I zoomed out a bit. Took the view of the non-judgemental *observer* of the nausea. And then out a bit more, taking the view of the *observing* of the observer. (Feeling like you’re at death’s door is the *perfect* opportunity to try this stuff! 😆)
I can report I didn’t have any major revelations about the nature of existence or anything, but I did fall asleep pretty much straight away, lol.
---
I woke up 45 minutes later feeling less ill, picked up my phone and immediately developed a pre-migraine aura, with dancing lights stapled to the fronts of my eyes. Ten minutes later I’d lost the entire left-hand ⅓ of my visual field and *that’s* when I decided I needed to listen to life and hit Pause 🖲️ on the Daily Reminders.
🤷🏻♂️
### 3\. Energy & enthusiasm come back
In a way, unpleasant though it may be, I do hope you’re as sick as a dog when you’re reading this, because it’s *that* version of you—the sick one—that needs to hear this.
For if you read the statement *‘Energy & enthusiasm come back’* from a place of wellness, it’s so frickin’ obvious, it’s almost insulting.
But in the same way that you can’t [reason your way out of a low mood](https://www.gilespcroft.com/goggles/), when you’re feeling low energy, or listless, it’s impossible to reason your way to the opposite.
Because of this:
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a ****Thought**\-created reality
It’s all we know, right there and then. Nothing else is real. The mind slams us into the [always](https://www.gilespcroft.com/always/) and [never](https://www.gilespcroft.com/buying-a-ticket-to-neverland/) corner and nothing else seems even possible.
But of course it’s a nonsense.
Why?
Because who we are is energy! Enthusiasm, or *En- theos*, is Greek for ‘the God within’ – the same power within that is producing whatever symptoms you’re feeling, and allowing you to be conscious of them in the first place!!
That’s not going *anywhere*, so you can bet your bottom dollar that the experience of energy and enthusiasm will return.
Remember this. Bookmark this page. Do what makes sense.
Here I am, with a smile on my face, writing again, when all was lost.
😁
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The two things keeping you awakeThe solution to sleep problems is about as counter-intuitive as it gets. 🛌💤The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-things-keeping-you-awake/)
Get this one in your head, for the next time you can’t sleep.
### Putting up with things
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-up-with-things/
Last updated: 2026-08-22T15:40:36.000Z
In [yesterday's Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) we looked at one common mind-response to the Innate Health understanding – trying to turn it into a set of rules. Rules that can [easily be flagged](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) by the word ‘should’ (🚩).
So today, let's look at another sneaky way in which the mind stops you from living a life of ease and grace:
Making out like this is an [invitation to apathy](https://www.gilespcroft.com/an-invitation-to-apathy/).
The mind hears this:
🔑
****Key Message**: 100% of our feelings come from (the Principle of) Thought (and 0% come from our circumstances)
…and it gets out its dictionary definition of ‘acceptance’ to conclude:
> 📦🗣️: *“Ok, so it's got nothing to do with what's happening, and everything to do with what I think about situations, so I should just learn to put up with things.”*
Which leads me to my second necessary disclaimer:
Stop it. That's just a mind talking. As evidenced by the ‘should’ (🚩)
I'l admit, it took me ages to get my own head round this one, because there's something paradoxical about stopping [trying to change things](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/), in order to change things… but no, the Innate Health understanding does *not* mean you're ‘making it all up’ and you should (🚩) just accept things as they are.
That's not what [acceptance](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-acceptance-seems-so-hard/) is.
But there's a neat little passage in Eckhart Tolle's landmark book, [The Power of Now](https://amzn.to/4r21fiz?ref=gilespcroft.com) that really brought it home for me, when he uses the example of finding yourself stuck in mud, and what to do about that:
> *“You wouldn't say, ‘Okay, I resign myself to being stuck in the mud.’ Resignation is not surrender. You don't need to accept an undesirable or unpleasant life situation. Nor do you need to deceive yourself and say that there is nothing wrong with being stuck in the mud. No. You recognise fully that you want to get out of it*
> *You then narrow your attention down to the present moment without mentally labelling it in any way … You accept the ‘isness’ of this moment. Then you take action and do all that you can to get out of the mud.”*
#### Have a listen to this excerpt from the book
The Power of Now: The Meaning of Surrender (Excerpt)
0:00
/88.084898
1×
That *‘narrowing your attention down to the present moment’* is simply a case of letting the mind's narrative *about* a situation slide on by, which is what you'll hear me inviting you to do, pretty much each and every day, here at the **Daily Reminders**.
You'll find this unlocks your greatest potential and allows creative solutions to the situations you face, to flow more easily.
So that you don't have to ‘put up with things’ at all!
😘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[An invitation to apathy?Lessons from Zen, on being and doing 🧘🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/an-invitation-to-apathy/)
A good one!
### The red flag of ‘should’
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/
Last updated: 2026-08-22T15:34:06.000Z
As you read various **Daily Reminders**, you might notice every now and again, that the word ‘should’ gets followed with a little red flag emoji (🚩)
And you might be wondering why!
It's actually one of *two* disclaimers that I share fairly early on, when I'm working with groups. We'll look at one today and another tomorrow.
Why have ‘disclaimers’ at all?
Because minds are cheeky little monkeys, that's why! They get the slightest whiff of change (*especially* anything pertaining to them), and they'll pull all sorts of stunts to get themselves off the hook.
An Ego Construct 📦 challenged, is a dangerous beast!
I've spoken before about how they'll feign disinterest, so that [you don't show up](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/#:~:text=The%20first%20thing%20one%20must%20do%20is%20show%20up.), but at the opposite end of the spectrum is a really *keen* mind: one that wants to get its sleeves rolled up and help.
> 📦🗣️ *“Oh, it's me! I'm the problem! Right, come on then, let's get this sorted! What's he saying? Yeah, I can get behind that. Ok, right, so that means we should…”*
And there it is – the innocent ‘should’ (🚩)
Hence my first disclaimer:
****Everything I share is descriptive, not prescriptive.**
Minds want to get involved. They want to have rules that they can abide by. They want answers, and unfortunately (for them), life's not really like that.
We get this experience of Now – pure presence, or flow, or pure, uncontaminated Thought-perception (*‘*[*Just tree*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-tree/)*’* as the Buddhists call it). Life! This moment.
And then the mind looks in on it, and chops it up into little bits, and places it on a timescale, and compares, and adds concepts to it all, and judges some things as ‘better’ and others as ‘worse’ and this is why I can get away with outrageous statements like:
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind.
Because it's true!
There *are* no problems in life itself – it's all ticking along nicely in its cycle of growth and decay and birth and death.
And the ‘should’ red flag (🚩) falls into the same category. ***By definition***, it means that the mind is active. Life—or ‘what is’—doesn't come pre-packaged with ‘should’s.
It's really reliable. Any time you catch yourself saying ‘should’ (🚩) it's merely a sign that the mind is active, and whatever it's saying doesn't have to be taken seriously.
The more aware of it you are, spotting that, *Oh, this is the mind, looking in on life, and saying some stuff*, the easier things will become.
Because there *are* no shoulds!
💟
Giles
p.s. of course it doesn't mean that you ‘shouldn't’ (🚩) do what it's saying, either! 🥴
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Putting up with thingsA disclaimer about the nature of acceptance 🚩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-up-with-things/)
The second of two disclaimers
### Expectations fireworks
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/expectations-fireworks/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T00:04:55.000Z
I spent all of yesterday bringing old Daily Reminders over to the website. I didn't expect to, but that's how it turned out. You see, I knew I wanted to write something about expectations today, and I thought, *Why not put all the previous ones on this topic on to the website, too?*
I didn't expect there to be so many! And I didn't expect that I'd still be finding, reading, copying, pasting, editing, categorising & tagging them, late into the night.
Expectations! They're *everywhere!*
*(You can see all the Daily Reminders I found if you do a Search* 🔍 *on the website for ‘expectations’ to locate the Tag →* [*Like this*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/expectations/)*.)*
On reflection, now I'm surprised there are so few. Because isn't this the main thing that minds do: expect?
The etymology of the word is *ex-* (‘thoroughly’) and *spek-* (‘to observe’) and yes, that's their thing, isn't it? Thoroughly observing… and then talking about what they see. Constantly.
In fact it's such a never-ending stream of ‘thorough observation’, we fail to notice it most of the time.
In ourselves, at least. It's easier to spot in others, isn't it?
## Fireworks 🎇
Case in point: first thing Sunday morning, I was getting ready to go out cycling for a few hours. My daughter, for reasons known only to Jobert (the [name she has given](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-names/) to the Daughter Ego Construct 📦) had decided on a whim, to do get up early and do some baking.
Trouble with doing stuff like that on a whim, is that you might not have all the ingredients you need. And if your expectations of what ingredients should (🚩) be available to you aren't met, there *could* be fireworks.
(There *were* fireworks, dear reader 🎆)
> *“Please go away! You're really annoying me!”* 😡
(Crash, bang, slam.)
It was super-obvious to me that the fireworks weren't *really* anything to do with kitchen inventory (which is neutral: simply what *is*), they were a result of the mind's expectations not being met.
(I may, or may not, have kept my mouth shut on this one – I'm not sure I'd had coffee by this point, and was frankly a bit taken aback by it all. I wasn't expecting to come down and discover pre-breakfast bake-off 😆)
---
Not fifteen minutes later, I'm crashing around, slamming doors and creating fireworks of my own, because I'd gone outside to discover that the weather forecast had been *so* wrong, I was going to have to completely revise all my clothing choices. (It was tipping it down. It wasn't supposed to be.)
And of course from inside the situation, itlooked like my ire was entirely justified, whereas to any outside observer it would have been super-obvious that my fireworks weren't *really* anything to with the weather (which is neutral: simply what *is*), they were a result of the mind's expectations not being met:
- The weather forecast should (🚩) be accurate
- The clothing choices I made should (🚩) be correct
- I should (🚩) remain dry for the beginning of my ride at least
- I shouldn't (🚩) have to spend 10 minutes doing battle with those really awkward and difficult-to-put-on waterproof overshoes I thought I'd get away with not having to wear today
- I should (🚩) be on time to meet me friend.
And on (and on) it goes.
We live an [inside-out](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/) existence. Our feelings (and fireworks 🎆) are a reflection not of circumstances, but of the mind's automatic reactions *to* those circumstances.
And as Byron Katie said,
> *“When I argue with reality, I lose.*
> *But only 100% of the time.”*
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Expectations - The Daily RemindersQuite possibly the ultimate source of our malcontent. They’re not ‘bad’ but it pays to spot them. 🕵🏻♀️The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/expectations/)
Everything tagged with “Expectations” … for now!!
### 8+ billion separate realities
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T07:00:35.000Z
I've been pulling together some resources on the topic of relationships over the last couple of days, and of course one of the key things to see—the only thing, really!—about the nature of our interactions with others is this:
🔑
****Key Message**: We all live in ****separate realities**.
More than this being individual ‘takes’ on some canonical version of affairs, this observation is a logical extension of the inside-out understanding.
Because if the entirety of what we're experiencing is [being generated by the Principle of Thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/), and it's all happening *inside* us… then the same is going on with everybody else too.
8+ billion Thought Systems, all insisting that:
> 📦🗣️ “*No, *this* is reality.”*
LOL.
I once got the old pixelbot to create me an image to represent that, and actually quite like the result:
They say a picture speaks a thousand words…
And it's funny, because we've got the evidence right under our noses in every single interaction we ever have with every other human being on planet earth, as well as in every book we read, every podcast we listen to and every movie or TV show that we watch.
Everybody's *completely* different!
Stick ten people in a room with a film, and there'll be ten different film experiences had, because—strange, but true—**they're not experiencing the film**, they're experiencing a thought-created perceptual reality of those dancing pixels of light and fluctuations in air pressure that we call sound.
It's all coming through the filter of their Thought System (just like these words are coming through yours) – [nobody will ever experience the same thing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/no-sunrise-for-you/), ever!
But of course, we all think we're ‘right’ all the time.
😂
As Richard Carlson said, on this topic, in what is officially the longest-titled chapter of his [entire book](https://amzn.to/4byxIbs?ref=gilespcroft.com) (‘**The Next Time You Find Yourself in an Argument, Rather than Defend Your Position, See if You Can See the Other Point of View First**’) 😳:
> *“It's interesting to consider that when you disagree with someone, the person you are disagreeing with is every bit as certain of his or her position as you are of yours. Yet we always take sides—ours! This is our ego's way of refusing to learn anything new. It's also a habit that creates a lot of unnecessary stress.”*
Now I don't know about you, but I'm pretty much signed up to a life with as little stress as possible.
Seeing that my mind is, by definition, wrong about stuff literally *all the time*, seems to me one of the easiest (not to mention in-line-with-basic-principles) ways of realising that lofty goal.
Prove me wrong!
😘
Giles
### Related
[Logical and magicalOnce we remove innocent misunderstanding, life flows with much more ease – that’s when the magic really happens! 🪄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/logical-and-magical/)
The solution to this thorny issue of always being wrong 😁
### Your reality is a perception of the mind
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/
Last updated: 2026-03-24T00:45:16.000Z
We live in the feeling of a thought-generated perceptual reality.
Crazy, right?!
(If you don't think that's completely bonkers, check yourself for a pulse.)
Because as I sit here and type this, it really, *really* looks like there’s a window on the front of my head, that I’m looking out of, onto the world.
But there are no windows. There’s no light inside the skull, and no sound. There’s just fluctuating energy that’s being turned into my reality, by the universal, impersonal, creative Principle of Thought, moment to moment.
It's not an ‘outside world’ – it's all happening within.
🫠
The most amazing sleight of hand—the [best magic trick](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-magic-trick/) in the world, ever!—is happening for us, every second of our lives, day in, day out. *Everything* we feel is as a result of that internally-generated, apparently separate reality that is real, for sure… but it’s not true.
(How could it be? Whose version is true? Mine? Yours? Any other of earth’s 8 billion human inhabitants?)
And that has some *massive* implications!
It can be hard to wrap your head around and a helpful metaphor to better understand this, is to look at something where it's a bit more obvious what's going on – like my daughter and her love for her teddy bear, for instance.
In this [short clip](https://youtu.be/ym21jRt9O6o?ref=gilespcroft.com), looking at the [MECHANICS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/#:~:text=02%20MECHANICS,-The%20nuts%20and) of how we experience the world, I share this metaphor *and* two more that point to the inside-out nature of our experience as well – that's three for the price of one!
1. The teddy bear
2. A flip-book cartoon
3. A scrolling sign on the tube
It's not something you can *use*… it's something to see for yourself.
4 minutes to upend your perceptions.
I know it's a lot, so if you watch this and are left with questions or concerns, [drop me a line](https://www.gilespcroft.com/contact/), and I'll do my best to address them with a reply.
💝
Giles
### Related
[Inside-OutThat one time I shut my mouth and life delivered the answers. 🤐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/)
Looking at how this plays out in real life situations.
### Relationships Self-Study Course 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/courses-relationships/
Last updated: 2026-08-31T16:16:27.000Z
A 4-part mini-course on **Relationships**, curated exclusively for Daily Reminders Premium 🔖 Subscribers
0:00
/0:58
1×
Welcome! Take ****1 minute** to find out what this is.
## 01 FOUNDATIONS
First things first, welcome 👋🏻 and let's make sure we know what we're doing here.
This page contains a treasure trove of carefully selected resources, all designed with one over-arching purpose in mind: **for you to experience better relationships**, be that at home, at work *and* out in the world at large.
Now, the fact that we're not honing in on one specific *kind* of relationship (e.g. with your partner) should immediately flag to you that **this is different** from the usual relationships advice you'll get.
All the materials I share, and the way in which I help people to get the changes they want to see are concerned with looking ‘upstream’ to how we actually experience *everything*… of which e.g. relationships are just one subset.
So for that reason, the first few resources will be quite general, and important to relax into, before we start looking at some relationships-specific items.
If you're a read-the-instructions kind of person and want to get the most out of these resources, click the little down arrow toggle (▽) below, to read how:
#### Some practicalities, to get the most out of this ⤵️
- Every ‘card’ you see on this page is ****clickable** and will take you to a specific Daily Reminder, elsewhere on the site
- The same goes for any linked text – it will take you to a Daily Reminder that will ****tell you more** about that particular topic
- For that reason, you might like to ****Bookmark this page**, so you can always find your way back here (the Daily Reminders can be a bit of a rabbit hole, if you follow your curiosity from one to the next)!
- ****Quick tip**: It also shows up in the Explore → [Premium 🔖 Content](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/premium/) page, that groups together all the additional materials on the site
- For your information, the ****URL for this page** you're on now is:
- I've presented the resources in this course to you in a very ****specific order**, so don't be tempted to jump ahead… try and work your way through, bit by bit
- ****Take your time**. This isn't school and there are no prizes for consuming everything. In fact, if you approach these resources looking for information to understand, remember and apply, nothing will actually change for you (more on that below)
- Because this course is self-contained, all on one page, I have numbered everything (e.g. #01-02 for the second post in the FOUNDATIONS section) so you can ****keep tabs on how far you've got**.
- At the end of each section (there are four sections), there's a little drop down with ‘****More helpful resources** ⤵️’ – if you find you've struggled a bit with some of the ideas in a particular section, then it's a good idea to explore some of these additional resources. They'll be saying the same thing, in a slightly different way; hopefully one that will resonate with you.
⚠️ ****Most importantly**
- When something lands for you (i.e. you have a little insight: a moment where you find yourself saying **“Oh yeah, I'd never thought of it like that before”* 😳) stop what you're doing and step away. In other words, ****allow each insight room to breathe**. Don't be too hasty to rush onward to the next insight. Change will happen in the background as a result of insights – **if we give them the chance to bed in.*
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### Keep going
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/keep-going/
Last updated: 2026-02-02T07:00:18.000Z
Are you up against it? Do you feel like giving up?
It happens to us all, usually when we've got into a pattern of things looking like they keep on turning out the same way.
We keep trying and trying and not getting the results we want and frankly, it's all a bit demoralising.
We've all been there.
This video I'm going to share with you today came into my life just when I really wanted to give up. I couldn't muster the energy to ‘get my head down’ or ‘crack on’ or ‘keep showing up’ or *any* of those productivity platitudes!
So I was doing what we all do – escaping into my phone, and my feed. Passive consumption.
This video came up, and I was feeling so apathetic about everything, that when I saw it was 18 minutes long, I felt both guilty at the thought of delaying work for yet another 18 minutes, but also a bit overwhelmed at the notion of even focusing on anything for that long!
(It was a really bad day.)
And then I started watching it. It seemed curious, and a bit daft. But the guy's enthusiasm was contagious, and he was funny, and a bit sweary, and the further into I went, the more I wanted to know how it turned out.
(After it had finished, I leapt out of bed and ‘got my head down’ with work! 😂)
I shan't spoil it for you, because a degree of dramatic tension makes it all the more enjoyable.
You don't have to watch it now, if you don't have the time. Maybe file it away for a day when you've hit an extreme low with something you're committed to – a project, a business, caring for someone, getting through financial difficulties, bringing up a child, teaching an octopus to play piano… anything!
Enjoy the watch:
So. Many. Attempts. And 7.5 million views!
Isn't it adorable?!
It's like a TV programme my daughter sometimes watches: [Unlikely Animal Friends](https://www.natgeotv.com/za/shows/nationalgeographicwild/unlikely-animal-friends?ref=gilespcroft.com)!!
🐙❤️🙋🏻♂️
The key takeaway for me, was that we make progress by staying open to the changes that life has to offer (i.e. the unknown), rather than getting fixed on our old (known) ways of thinking, [**and therefore behaviours**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/).
💡
Just because it's been that way before, doesn't mean it will always be that way.
You've been given the life that you're living, with its unique challenges and circumstances that you're going to work your own way through.
You can certainly complain about that—you are more than welcome!—but before you throw all your toys out of the pram, why not remember Matthias and Tako and just… keep… going.
💞
Giles
### Related
[AlwaysThis natural bedfellow of ‘never’ is another of the mind’s greatest hits ⌛️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/always/)
Oh how the mind loves an ‘always’ 🤨
### Behaviour stems from belief
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/
Last updated: 2026-02-01T08:05:47.000Z
I had dug out an old Daily Reminder to share with somebody, all about how we perceive the whole of life through the veil of our perceptions.
It's called ‘[Goggles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/goggles/)’ and it's such a simple, powerful metaphor for how the mind works, I recommend that if you haven't read it in a while (like me), you do so now:
[GogglesOne thing to do and two things \*not\* to do, when faced with troublesome situations or emotions 👓The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/goggles/)
Good, isn't it?
Thing is, in order to keep the Daily Reminders bitesized for you, I sometimes have to cut an idea short, and upon re-reading, this one I felt was missing a crucial insight.
I got to the bit about ‘seeing red’ and found myself metaphorically jumping up and down, waving my hand in the air, saying,
> *“Our goggles determine our behaviour, too!”*
Why?
Because of this:
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ****ALWAYS** doing what makes sense to us
This means that whichever of those filters we're projecting our ‘reality’ through in that very moment, we will behave accordingly. We don't have any control over this – it just happens.
So to go back to the three examples I gave in that [previous Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/goggles/):
- If we’ve got our overwhelm goggles on, we'll be crippled by the weight of all there is to do, and we'll procrastinate
- If we’ve got our angry goggles on, the first person who has the misfortune to bring their own mind-body into our (lack of) presence is going to get yelled at, irrespective of how kind or loving they're being
- If we’ve got our grateful goggles on, we'll be able to lift even the most dismayed of fellow humans out of a funk, because even low moods are a manifestation of life-wisdom!
These are all examples of temporary beliefs. A particular story that we're operating out of, that determines everything else, downstream of it.
It's why there's no point in trying to change your behaviours themselves. Because if you fail to tackle the underlying belief, or at the very least appreciate that all your behaviour stems from belief/goggles/perspective/mood/thought… then nothing will change.
(It's like that metaphor of hoiking a steady flow of people out of a river. You could do that for the rest of your life, but it's much better to go upstream and find out why they're falling in, in the first place!)
---
So an unusual practical tip for you, on a Sunday.
Next time you find yourself ‘behaving badly’ just take the briefest of moments to wonder if it could be coming from the kind of goggles you're wearing, in that moment.
🤔
You don't even need to find an answer (minds love a quiz!) – I think the very act of curiosity itself gives us the opportunity to get a little bit of distance from the behaviour… and that's probably enough.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Stop trying to change your behaviourQuestion: Can you get an egg back out of an omelette? 🍳The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/stop-trying-to-change-your-behaviour/)
### Life finds a way
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/life-finds-a-way/
Last updated: 2026-01-31T07:00:17.000Z
Just the other day I wrote about life being akin to the [accelerator pedal](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mashing-both-pedals-at-once/) in a car – you don't have to press down on it, or do anything, in order for life to move forwards.
And then I randomly stumbled across a couple of pictures in my photos library that really brought this home for me.
The first is the image at the top of this post. Where we used to live, whenever my daughter and I walked down our street together, we would always stop outside one of the neighbours’ houses and examine this section of pavement.
That plant, pushing its way through solid tarmac is called field bindweed (*Convolvulus arvensis*) and it's a tenacious little bugger. Its root network can supposedly go up to 10 metres underground, which would explain why, in winter it was completely gone, and then as the next year came round, it would appear again.
Life finds a way.
But the more impressive image is below. That one I happened upon by accident, when one of the outdoor lights stopped working. As is so often the case with these trivial household tasks, it took me forever to get round to unscrewing the protective cover, in order to whip the bulb out and change it.
Imagine my surprise then, when I found that this was the cause:
That whole plant just flopped out, as soon as I took the front off 😂
Our human-made structures are no match for life, just like our egoic thinking (‘little’ or ‘personal’ mind) is no match for life (‘big’ or ‘[Universal’ Mind](https://3pgc.org/what-are-the-3-principles/?ref=gilespcroft.com)), either.
Life finds a way, however much we try and obstruct it!
💚
Giles
### Related
[Are we nature?I thought I knew the answer, but I’d failed to spot some of the implications 🌿The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-we-nature/)
### Wisdom loves a moving target
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-loves-a-moving-target/
Last updated: 2026-01-30T07:00:30.000Z
I spotted something on social media – someone remarked that the phrase below had really stuck with them, and helped:
> *“Thanks to whoever said ‘*[*depression hates a moving target*](https://x.com/dylanoa4/status/2014355223691547109?ref=gilespcroft.com)*’ – it's now permanently burned into my brain.’*
There's common sense in that and plenty of research to show that exercise is a great antidote (to pretty much everything, it's fair to say).
And then later that morning I had a coaching conversation with someone who's in the middle of a life transition: one career left behind recently, and they're in that soupy, grey area where nothing new has [revealed itself](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inspiration-is-just-a-guide/). Yet.
And, maybe because the quote above was still relatively fresh in my mind, its flip-side suddenly occurred to me:
💡
Wisdom loves a moving target
I don't necessarily mean that good ideas come to you while you're exercising or moving your body (although [they very often do](https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-nature-good-for-creativity/)!), I mean on a deeper level.
When we're in transition, be that from one career to the next, a relationship, or even just stages of life, the big changes we experience obviously get our snow globe all shook up, and there's a necessary period of rest, recuperation and reflection to go through.
We have to give ourselves chance to adjust to our new reality.
But *after* that, when we're in that soupy, grey area of pure potential, looking for the next thing, it's really easy to think that opportunity or insight will come knocking, all on its own.
I mean, if we don't know what it is we want to do, that makes sense yeah? How can we move forward if we don't know what direction we want to go in?
But here's where the wisdom-loves-a-moving-target thing comes in. Because in order for something new (like opportunity, or insight) to happen, you need to be in new situations, meeting new people, having different conversations… you have to give life/the universe something to work with!
And that something is movement – in any direction (it really doesn't matter).
I'll never forget, years ago, going to a [Mike Dooley](https://www.tut.com/team/mike-dooley/?ref=gilespcroft.com) seminar, and hearing him say,
> *“If you stay at home sitting on your couch with a vision board waiting for Oprah to call, there simply cannot be any accidents, coincidences, or serendipities.”*
That one *really* stuck with me: *sitting on the couch, waiting for Oprah to call!* 🤣
(I have been guilty of that one, in the past. Not waiting for Oprah to call, but definitely waiting for some*one*, or some*thing*, to just drop into my lap and offer me the opportunity of a lifetime. I can even remember the moment I realised, with what I can only describe as ‘liberating-feeling horror’, that that *wasn't* going to happen! 😆)
And here's the important thing to know:
❗
Accidents, coincidences and serendipities are the currency of change.
So if you're feeling stuck and a bit directionless, don't wait for ‘direction’ to find you. Throw yourself wholeheartedly into something—anything!—that gets you in new situations, meeting new people and having different conversations; something that gets you *moving.*
Because wisdom loves a moving target.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Wisdom is contextualIf you can see your path laid out ahead of you… well then, it’s not your path. 🧭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-is-contextual/)
A really good one for those in the career change market
### Mashing both pedals at once
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/mashing-both-pedals-at-once/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T07:00:35.000Z
Here's a simple metaphor for you.
Imagine you're driving. To move forward, you need to step on the accelerator.
And to slow down, you take your foot off the accelerator and optionally (depending on how quickly you need to slow down), you use that *same* foot to apply pressure to the brakes.
(I'm talking about combustion engine vehicles here, but I'm assuming it's the same with electric.)
What you *wouldn't* do:
❌
Apply pressure to both accelerator and brake pedals at the same time.
(I checked online, and there aren't even any real driving stunts that get performed by doing this – you're just going to wreck your transmission, or stall.)
So, here we go…
WHAT IF… life *itself* is the accelerator?
You don't have to press down on anything for life to continue, because ‘just going’ one of its main features! (Universal Mind, in [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) terms, or the energy of life.)
Life needs no help – your heart beats without your intervention, you breathe without trying, wounds heal, your pupils constrict and dilate when they have to, food gets digested, the list goes on!
But it's more than that, isn' it? Because good ideas just come to you. Creativity courses *through* you when you're in flow, love arises, feelings of connection are just there, authentic desires pull you in a direction… all without your input.
Let me know if you think I'm wide of the mark here, but I don't think *you* do *any* of that stuff – that's what life feels like, when we're not getting in the way of it.
It's the accelerator. Life's pushing it down. And it *never* takes its foot off, until the end of [your journey](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/) as a human.
---
And WHAT IF… our Thought System 📦 is the brake?
We get insecure and the mind starts bleating, making out like *it's* in charge of our destiny, because it doesn't know anything of life.
And while the mind might be on board with not having to consciously breathe, and heal, and digest – when it comes to all the *other* stuff, it genuinely thinks *it* has to do creativity, and do love and connection and purpose and insight… when it just doesn't.
**Those things happen in its absence.**
The fact that it thinks it's in charge of all those things, just gets in the way. It slows us down!
- Life is the accelerator: always on.
- And then with our over-thinking and believing that we're in control of it all, we come along and start mashing down on the brake at the same time, too!
Seriously. You're not going to do any fancy stunts like that.
You're just going to wreck your transmission, or stall.
💟
Giles
p.s. As always, I'm not asking you to take any of this at face value, or try and *believe* it (🚩). I'm inviting you to slow down, to be aware of your own experience (beyond the bleatings of the mind) and to [get your own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/).
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Taking your foot off the brakesHow to find (i.e. stop getting in the way of) purpose and direction 🚀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/taking-your-foot-off-the-brakes/)
How this metaphor plays out, when it comes to career changes, purpose & direction
### Take a little walk
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/take-a-little-walk/
Last updated: 2026-01-28T07:00:47.000Z
Yesterday's Daily Reminder [was epic](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/) to write and to read, so for today's, let's pause for breath.
Indeed, why not just take a little walk. You never know what might happen:
Origins unknown. I spied it online, and it seemed true enough.
✨
Giles
### Related
[Is nature good for creativity?What is it about being in nature that seems to get us unstuck? 🌳The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-nature-good-for-creativity/)
Yes. I rather believe it is. 💚
### The journey
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/
Last updated: 2026-06-27T22:23:34.000Z
Here's a sobering thought: every disagreement you've ever had (and ever *will* have) with another person—be that your spouse or partner, kids, family member, work colleague, staff, boss, friend, random person online, *everyone*—stems from this one simple fact:
🔑
****Key Message**: We all live in ****separate realities**.
Because what you're experiencing is this [thought-created perceptual reality](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) of ‘how things are’ that the other person (who has their own, *different*, thought-created perceptual reality of ‘how things are’) cannot see.
And never *can* see, which is why [listening](https://www.gilespcroft.com/thoughts-on-a-screen/), and clear, compassionate communication is so important.
---
This came to mind for me just the other day when I wrote in [another piece](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out-2/), *“They've clearly been studying my 4-step process,”* … and I realised with dismay that while I certainly mention it a fair bit in my [Video Masterclasses](https://payhip.com/gilespcroft/collection/video-masterclasses?ref=gilespcroft.com) (most of them are structured around these 4-steps) I've never actually committed ‘my 4-step process’ to paper!
🫢
So here we go. What follows is the structure I ‘have in mind’ when I'm helping people to make the changes they want to see.
It's the journey through life that I see all of us humans as being on (especially if you're reading this!) and it's the process I went through, [as I was waking up](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/) to the nature of things.
Below, I shall give you:
1. a brief overview of each
2. ways to spot if this is where you're at on the journey
3. my thoughts on why each is important, and
4. links to a selection of really good examples, from the Daily Reminders [Archives](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/).
---
## 01 FOUNDATIONS
***Looking in a different direction for answers***
They say the first thing you need to know, in order to escape a trap… is that you're *in* a trap! And this is what FOUNDATIONS are all about: making sure that from this point forwards, we're building on a bedrock of right understanding.
You see, we've been so mercilessly programmed to see life as working in one particular way, all of our lives, that it means all of our subsequent beliefs and behaviours, our decisions and actions are built on a very simple, but fundamental misunderstanding.
It means that when we're trying to *change* something, we're very often innocently working *against* the natural order of things (a bit like trying to use the wrong end of a pen) and it doesn't really work.
[FOUNDATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/foundations/) look at the *process* of change: what's needed (and more importantly, what's *not* needed); the biggest difference between what we've been taught, and an Innate Health approach, being that there's not really anything you have to *do.*
Which makes sense, when you read what I've written, above. If you're innocently using the wrong end of a pen, your pen's not broken, you don't need a new pen or a different one, you don't need to go to pen-using school, or anything like that at all! You just need someone to gently enquire,
> *“Had you tried using it the other way round?”*
And here's the most salient point from this step:
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but ****INSIGHT**
#### Signs of being at the FOUNDATIONS step:
- Nothing works, everything's wrong, you're plagued with symptoms/habits, or you've just had enough
- You've done everything you ‘should’ do, it hasn't really lived up to its promise and you're looking for answers
- It doesn't make sense to you that in some ways us humans are so advanced, and yet there seems to be so much suffering. Why is that?
#### Why this step is important
Because if we don't get clear on the rules of engagement—how we're going to move forward and see the changes we want to see—we'll approach it all wrong, bring our old misunderstandings along with us, and innocently try and ‘use’ what we're learning as another self-help coping tool.
#### Examples of really good FOUNDATIONS pieces ⤵️
- [Necessary ingredients for change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)
- [It's just going to go away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/)
- [Do more of what you like](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-more-of-what-you-like/)
- [What this water bottle taught me about the process of change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/water-bottle-insight/)
- [It's not about remembering](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-not-about-remembering/)
- [Not writing about conditions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-writing-about-conditions/)
---
## 02 MECHANICS
***The nuts and bolts of how our minds, and life, are experienced***
Once we're more attuned to the pivotal role of insight, we can relax a bit, stop trying so hard and instead get *curious* as to why this damned pen we're holding might not be working like it seems it should. (Remembering the *third* necessary [ingredient for change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/))
Guiding you through the MECHANICS, I'll do everything I can to settle your complaining, impossible-to-satisfy, endlessly-questioning mind, in order to slip some simple home truths about the nature of experience through its defences.
There's not much else to say, other than this is where you'll learn all about the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com), or the ‘Inside-Out’ or ‘Innate Health’ understanding. There are more Daily Reminders tagged as [MECHANICS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mechanics/) than the other three steps.
The one, fundamental misunderstanding that everything else hinges on that I mentioned above is what's known as ‘the outside-in illusion’ and can be summed up thus:
🔑
****Key Message**: 100% of our feelings come from (the Principle of) ****Thought** (and 0% come from our circumstances)
#### Signs of being at the MECHANICS step:
- You're on board with the pen-holding insight analogy—it makes sense—but everything else I share just seems a bit weird and obtuse (sorry about that)
- You've got a *bazillion* questions and it seems like there *must* be exceptions to this whole 100% inside-out malarkey
- You don't quite buy it. (But you're strangely drawn to it.)
#### Why this step is important
Because if we dive straight into the next step—looking at how this understanding plays out in all sorts of different life situations—*without* having really got to grips with the underlying principles, things won't make much sense, and it'll be a bit frustrating.
#### Examples of really good MECHANICS pieces ⤵️
- [Inside-Out](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/)
- [What if it really was this simple?](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-it-really-was-this-simple/)
- [Goggles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/goggles/)
- [You can't not see an illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)
- [It's not what happens, it's how you feel about it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-happens-how-you-feel/)
- [Thought, masquerading as presence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)
- [Trains of thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trains-of-thought/)
---
## 03 IMPLICATIONS
***Embodying the Innate Health understanding in everyday situations***
This is where the rubber meets the road and we see all sorts of changes happening in our lives, as the insights we've had to this point start to ripple outwards. And because what we're talking about here is principles (i.e. the way the entire psycho-spiritual system works) then every life situation we could possibly find ourselves in, can be looked at from an Innate Health perspective.
But here's the thing: we all have blind spots. Areas of our lives where it *doesn't* look like the principles apply (which is why we perceive them as ‘problems’). And that's where [IMPLICATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/implications/) come in. Because I'll examine any and every topic area that I can think of, and something will correspondingly resonate for you. A piece of the jigsaw will slot into place.
It's often once we've had some *general* insights into the principles, that our understanding goes deeper and deeper, as we uncover more and more areas of life that we see through an entirely different lens. (Using my pen analogy, it's like realising there might be *other* things, aside from the pen, that we're innocently using back to front.)
Because this step covers everything in the known universe (lol), there's not one overriding message here (there's one at the very top of this post), so I'm going to pick a favourite, that's ripe for misunderstanding:
🔑
****Key Message**: ****RESILIENCE** is our inbuilt capacity to fall out of our thinking and back into the Now.
#### Signs of being at the IMPLICATIONS step:
- You're totally on board with the inside-out nature of experience but just can't see it for x, y, or z situation
- You have an intellectual understanding of the 3 Principles, but it doesn't seem to be making much of a difference to your life
- You feel an urge to share the insights you've had, but don't know how
#### Why this step is important
Because the biggest insights usually come from seeing the principles in action, in the areas we're struggling with most, in our lives.
#### Examples of really good IMPLICATIONS pieces ⤵️
- [Get your own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/)
- [Fast actions, urgent feeling](https://www.gilespcroft.com/fast-actions-urgent-feeling/)
- [Turning up the master volume](https://www.gilespcroft.com/turning-up-the-master-volume/)
- [Incredible resilience](https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/)
- [Trauma and triggers](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trauma-and-triggers/)
- [Double low mood alert!](https://www.gilespcroft.com/double-low-mood-alert/)
- [“A bit more on OCD”](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-bit-more-on-ocd/)
---
## 04 TRUE NATURE
***Exploring the nature of self and identity***
Now there are some teachers/guides for whom this is the starting point *and* the ending point. They talk of little else, seeing no point in messing around with any of the preceding steps, but rather rolling their own versions of FOUNDATIONS, MECHANICS and IMPLICATIONS into this, somewhat deeper subject.
I understand their reasoning and I respect it wholly. Because they're right – the notion of ‘self’ is indeed the *alpha* and the *omega* of this entire journey, really. Experience is all happening within *us*, or at least who we *think* we are, therefore how we see our ‘selves’ has a huge bearing on everything (especially relationships with others).
But because what we're exploring—our [TRUE NATURE](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/)—is the very definition of ‘ineffable’ (i.e. impossible to describe using language; *“like pointing to fire, with ice,”* as a teacher of mine once said), it can get a bit messy and confusing. (It's like asking, *Hang on, who's holding this here pen anyway?! And why?*)
It's also not strictly necessary. There are billions of people on planet earth living perfectly contented lives, without ever once having considered whether or not they're who they think they are. But ‘ego’ does crop up in a lot of teachings, and it makes sense to get a feel for what that actually is.
I have my own way of doing that (‘light touch non-duality’ I like to think of it as!) and if you've been enjoying the ride so far, I hope I can help you start to unstick this stickiest of all misconceptions: the illusion of self.
At the heart of this step lies this one simple fact:
🔑
****Key Message**: Who you really are is ****BEFORE** thought
#### Signs of being at the TRUE NATURE step:
- Life changed completely when you came across the 3 Principles/Inside-Out understanding, but now you feel like you've slipped back, or are stuck
- You continue to seek ‘something else’, even though you'd rather not
- You feel a bit affronted at the idea that you're not actually who you thought you were, but insufferable prats like me bleat on about it so much, that you feel compelled to keep exploring, determined to get your head round it, come hell or high tide (sorry about that).
#### Why this step is important
It's not. It's just immense fun, and there's so much to see, and so much changes when we get a fresh perspective on who we really are, that it's impossible to ignore.
#### Examples of really good TRUE NATURE pieces ⤵️
- [Presence is contextual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/presence-is-contextual/)
- [The trouble with ‘trusting your wisdom’](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-trouble-with-trusting-your-wisdom/)
- [Paradox](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/)
- [The one relationship that defines all others](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/)
- [Why acceptance seems so hard](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-acceptance-seems-so-hard/)
- [What Wayne Dyer got wrong](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-wayne-dyer-got-wrong/)
- [The bus driver](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/)
---
So there we are – this Daily Reminder is a journey in and of itself, isn't it?! 😂
I hope you find it helpful and please don't take it *too* seriously, because of course:
- by definition, [it's all made up](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-made-up/)
- in practice (as in life) it's far messier than this, with overlap and the like
- ultimately there's really nowhere to get to (as we discover in step 4, lol)
But I know you: you're human, which means you have a left brain, and that left brain likes structure and steps and strategies, and mine (and the left brains of my clients) have found this framework to be conceptually very useful, over the years.
It's my stab at making some sense of this wonderful journey for you… your mileage may vary.
💝
Giles
### What, you want more?!
[Insight series - The Daily RemindersThe story of what happened when I was introduced to the Innate Health understanding, and what it means for you 💝The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/insight-series/)
These four steps brought to real life: how they played out for me, over a period of ‘17 Days’
[Mountain - No Mountain - Mountaina.k.a. The Enlightenment Path explained 🧘🏻♀️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mountain-no-mountain/)
If you like videos, this one is a deep dive (18 mins) into the first three steps
### Going fishing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/
Last updated: 2026-08-28T15:48:36.000Z
I've written a couple of posts recently about how the mind creates its [visions of the future](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/).
And as I was talking this through with a client the other day, an image popped into my head; a powerful visual metaphor that I'd never seen before.
It was of the mind, sitting on a high wall, fishing.
On one side of the wall, the endless content of the past. Every last shred of [data at its disposal](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/).
On the other lies the future, which is, by definition empty (because it is completely unknown).
It's just like pure potential: anything could happen.
And the mind is fishing stuff out of the past, and dangling it in front of us, making out like it's the future, when really, it has no idea.
A metaphor worth remembering.
---
It's a really strong mental image that has stuck with me… enough for me to ask the robot assistant to have a go at putting it down on paper for me.
What it came up with isn't half bad!
There's some **fairly* weird stuff in the past there… I hope it wasn't using what it knows about me, to create it! 😂
As the Danish proverb goes:
> *“It is difficult to make predictions,*
> *especially about the future.”*
When you know what it's using to *make* those predictions… that makes a lot of sense!
😉
Giles
### Post-script
No sooner had I published this, than life delivered a perfect example of it: the Sunday cycling club run. I'd been invited to join a group I haven't ridden with for a while and was super excited, joining in group-chat banter about the ride in the preceding days, and really looking forward to getting out into the hills with them, and catching up. But the weather forecast was really bad.
The mind, using only the past, created the following fictional picture:
- *💭 It's going to be great, riding with the boys*
- 💭 *It's going to be quite unpleasant, doing that in the cold, wind and rain – something to steel myself against, in the run-up*
And then on the day, here's what *actually* happened:
- The weather turned around completely, overnight. It wasn't cold. It didn't rain. It wasn't even all that windy. There was even blue sky. It was lovely! (I was a *little* over-dressed, and all that advance worry/negativity was entirely for nought).
- Turns out, unlike me, none of *them* really had much time off the bike at the end of last year, meaning they were all *way* fitter than me and I got dropped about 15 minutes in, when we went up the first proper climb. So I was out on my own for [the day's riding](https://www.strava.com/activities/17172756941/?ref=gilespcroft.com).
😂
I was chuckling to myself, at how perfect an example of this metaphor I'd just been delivered.
If you look for the evidence, you'll find examples of this happening for you too, all day every day.
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Unknown unknownsThe thing that’s going to help you change lies outside of your current frame of reference ✨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/)
The funny thing is: the mind doesn't even know it doesn't know! 😂
### Closing the door on who you could be
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/closing-the-door-on-who-you-could-be/
Last updated: 2026-01-25T07:00:39.000Z
None of us is getting any younger, which means we've all got *voluminous* pasts, with calamities and hurts, yes, but also victories and achievements.
And as we get older, moving through different [phases of our lives](https://www.gilespcroft.com/phases/), especially when it comes to physical changes, it's quite easy to look back a little wistfully… *and* to look forward with a degree of trepidation.
I mean, what's going to happen? What's it going to be like? Is it all downhill from here?
It came up with a client the other day, who confessed that they were experiencing that double whammy: not really looking forward to growing older, and maybe hanging on a little bit to former glories.
> *What to do about this?* was the question, hanging in the air.
It cut deeper than just surface level for me, because I'm as guilty of this as the next person! I don't have too many pictures dotted around my office, but this is one of them:
The only race I ever won. (Look up “Former glory” in the dictionary and you'll find this as the accompanying illustration 🤣)
It's not like I've been chasing that feeling ever since or anything (I stopped racing a *long* time ago) but I do still commit to not just maintaining, but *increasing* my fitness each year, and I definitely get a buzz out of [beating a bunch of years-old personal bests](https://www.strava.com/activities/14735193316?ref=gilespcroft.com), on my good days.
I don't see *too* much wrong with this (otherwise I wouldn't do it, lol) so long as we hold it lightly enough. And accept that every high, every peak [could be the last](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-could-be-the-last-time-you/).
But the mind can take these things a bit too far, and use the past in an attempt to somehow try and hold *off* the future, and that becomes problematic.
Up to its tricks, it [*imagines* how the future is going to be](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/), doesn't like the story it's created and subsequently scrabbles around in the past for something to hold on to, because it thinks it's safe in the known.
Again, nothing wrong here per se—just a mind, doing what minds do—but if we don't spot it, and keep dancing to its tune, attaching our wellbeing to the past, then I just think we run the risk of closing the door on who we *could* be, in the future.
If all our attention is being used up in looking backwards, it shuts us down a bit to the opportunities of what's to come.
Because honestly – we don't have any *idea* about what the future holds! As Alan Watts said,
> *“You're under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”*
😳
Just because the mind makes out like it knows, doesn't mean it knows!
So you all have my permission to be as excited as you like about the direction life is going to take you – who knows who you'll become and what you'll achieve?
Nobody!
✨
Giles
### Related
[The future is the pastSound a bit crackers, but think about it with me 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/)
What the mind actually uses, to create the story we have labelled as ‘The future’
### Inside Out 2
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out-2/
Last updated: 2026-01-28T22:34:59.000Z
About a hundred years ago, I penned some observations of the rather well-done animated film, [*Inside Out*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2096673/?bypassRefViewPref=1&ref%5F=ttrv%5Fov%5Fstd&ref=gilespcroft.com), immediately in advance of seeing its sequel at the cinema.
That happened, but as is so often the case with these things, I really wanted a second viewing before coming to any conclusions about it… and that's only just happened.
But today's the day!
You might want to refresh your memory as to where we'd got to after the first one:
[Inside Out (the first one)Some take-home points from Inside-Out # 1️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out-the-first-one/)
Reflections to consider, from the original **Inside Out*
There's an extraordinary amount of rich, tasty, [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) goodness inside this movie, so let's unpack it together.
\[Please note, mild spoilers follow—Points 6-9 especially—but the kind that will enrich repeated viewings, and maybe encourage you to watch the film, if it's not normally your thing.\]
So, here's what I noted down this time:
1. It's really good (again) 😃
2. It's almost as if they read my mild criticism of the first one—that they didn't really tackle identity—by making the second one all about identity! (They've clearly been studying my [4-step process](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/), which *ends* with TRUE NATURE) 😉
3. They did a fantastic job of getting across the scale of the ‘problem’. At one point we got a little cutaway shot of the cascade of ‘belief-balls’ that were all contributing to Riley's sense of self and it was massive and fast-flowing. Every instant that comes along; every thought we have, each experience, every teeny bit of analysis the left brain does… it's all contributing to the mind's made-up picture of who it *thinks* we are. Sobering! 😳
4. They absolutely *nailed* Anxiety. She's enthusiastic, diligent and above all, helpful. At least she *thinks* she is (when in fact she's always just screwing things up). And the root of her misplaced efforts is of course the [outside-in illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/). At one point, Joy asks Anxiety why she's hurting Riley so much, if she just wants her to be happy (which she claims to be doing) and Anxiety's response demonstrates that she **genuinely believes** Riley's wellbeing is *entirely* based on circumstance. It's the perfect demonstration of your mind doing its best, as it works on severely [limited data](https://www.gilespcroft.com/working-on-limited-data/). 😙👌🏻
5. Another great observation is that Anxiety eventually short-circuits. There's only so much outside-in misunderstanding the system can take and if we fail to notice what it's *actually* telling us, it will eventually stop itself. That's the whole deal with [panic attacks](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-to-do-in-a-panic-attack/) – they're *meant* to put an end to the process! (Nobody ever died from one.) 🤨
6. \[Most spoiler-y bits coming\] The twist, if you can call it that, is that at the end of the film we see Riley's entirely thought-created, belief-based sense of ‘self’ has *multiple* facets, when of course the emotions were all striving towards an outcome based on the assumption that there could be only *one*. How many times have we spotted others saying, or caught ourselves believing (when in a particular frame of mind) that we are ‘[just like *this*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/always/)*’* and losing sight of the variability of experience? Again, bang on the money. 👊🏻
7. \[More spoilers\] The ‘solution’ of course was [acceptance](https://www.gilespcroft.com/embrace-your-inner-weird/). ‘Self’-compassion. A literal embracing of all the aspects of thought that were making up that sense of self that was screwing everything up so badly in that moment… which led to Riley falling out of her thinking and back into presence; her ever-present Innate Health, which is who she *really* is. (I cried at this bit, it was so good.) 🥹
8. \[Again, spoilers\] Considering this is a Pixar movie, aimed at the most main-stream audience going, I thought their depiction of Innate Health was *superb*. It was subtle and normal and just… there. And the thing to notice about it when you watch, is that **none of the other characters—all of whom are thought/feelings—were required**. At this point, they were silent, and inactive. It's so good, I've clipped it for posterity:
0:00
/0:28
1×
1. With presence, comes perspective. Naturally. It's not rocket science, it's just basic psychological [Principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/) (which is why I show up here for you, every day). 😍
2. (I'm still not *entirely* sure what Joy represents. She's a bit of a mish-mash between ego-based satisfaction, and ego-less, unconditional contentment. But you can't have it all!) 🤷🏻
So there you go. My take on this wonderful film.
If you've watched it, what did you like, or think they got wrong? What did I miss? Let me know below, in the comments.
And when you've read this, why not **watch it with your kids**, and use this discussion as talking points? The more we can show the next generation how their minds work, and who they *really* are… the more likely they are to shepherd our species to greener pastures!
💝
Giles
p.s. the bit where Riley forgets how to walk, because her mind is so insecure… priceless!! 😂
p.p.s. Nostalgia was the character that had my daughter in stitches the most 🤣
### Related
[Inside Out (the first one)Some take-home points from Inside-Out # 1️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out-the-first-one/)
### Books write themselves (like life)
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/books-write-themselves-like-life/
Last updated: 2026-01-23T08:13:36.000Z
This could be seen as a bit of a niche Daily Reminder topic—writing—but I think there's a wider message here.
I'm [writing a book](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-three-words/) at the moment, so I keep Mondays as free as possible for that. (I also dip in at other times.)
And what better way to get my head into it, but to once more read Stephen King's masterful [*On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft*](https://amzn.to/4qX6uAm?ref=gilespcroft.com).
Although he's a fiction writer and my genre is more along the lines of Personal Development/Self help/Spirituality (I don't choose these headings), there's much to be appreciated from this delightfully lighthearted and insightful text.
(If you write, you should read it, and I'm not even going to add a red flag to that particular ‘should’ 😉)
Anyway, he's talking about the parts of a story, and lists three:
1. **Narration** (moving the story along)
2. **Description** (creating a sensory picture for the reader)
3. **Dialogue** (bringing characters to life)
But it's his reasoning for leaving ‘**Plot**’ out of that list, that pricked up my ears, because it resonated so strongly with me (and with the Innate Health understanding).
He confesses that he usually doesn't know how any of his stories are going end, or even progress, until he starts writing his initial idea, saying:
> *“I distrust plot for two reasons: first, because our lives are largely plotless, even when you add in all our reasonable precautions and careful planning…”*
Oh lordy me, yes! How the mind likes to think it's in control of our destiny – why should a novel be any different?? He goes on:
> *“…and second, because I believe that plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren't compatible. It's best that I be as clear as I can – I want you to understand that my basic belief about the making of stories is that they pretty much make themselves. The job of the writer is to give them a place to grow.”*
😮
Real creation ≠ Planning, and books essentially write themselves.
(Definitely an experience I share, writing these Daily Reminders and the Focus Magazine articles that will form the content of my book – I never know where they're going to go!)
Therefore the job of the writer is not to plot it all out meticulously and control its direction; it's to show up, write, and give the stories a space to grow.
(Here it comes…)
Life writes itself. Your job is not to plot it all out meticulously and control its direction; it's to show up, take action, and give your story the space to grow.
💗
Giles
### Related
[On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft: Twentieth Anniversary Edition with Contributions from Joe Hill and Owen KingA Memoir of the Craft: Twentieth Anniversary Edition with Contributions from Joe Hill and Owen KingHodder PaperbackHodder Paperback](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/7022/9781444723250?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Must-read.
[A solution so obviousIt’s so easy to over-complicate (I do it too!)… but the real answers lie in simplicity. Always. 😊The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-solution-so-obvious/)
Includes more wisdom from Stephen King
### Do something different
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-something-different/
Last updated: 2026-08-31T23:56:51.000Z
*“A change is as good as a rest,”* they say, along with the definition of insanity being doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
So there's something there, isn't there, about doing new things, that makes sense.
You know what I think the reason for that is?
It's because it taps into the formless energy of life, which is where *all* new things have to come from.
It directs us away from existing, habitual, mind-based patterns of behaviour and ‘gets the juices flowing’.
And I think that's *always* a good thing.
---
Just the other morning, sorting a pile of clothes together to take downstairs I found myself putting them all inside a zip-top hoodie and tying them up with the arms, in a neat little bundle.
In 50-something years of my life, I've not done that before (can you imagine)?!
It may sound like such a silly little thing (because it is), but I stood there, grinning to myself, having ever-so briefly tapped into that energy source we call wisdom, spirit, soul, god, grace, intuition, creation, presence, universal mind, innate health (I could go on)… and something shifted, as a result.
I'd reconnected to it. Remembered it! [Got my own evidence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/) for it, in this really little way, and the rest of the day saw me creative, productive and buoyant.
And I think that's all that's required, to get unstuck. We don't need to throw caution to the wind and completely upend our lives, we just need to touch that space of change in whatever small way makes sense, in that moment.
Get the juices flowing and see what happens.
So what are you going to do differently, today?
💗
Giles
p.s. you can't use my patented clothes-bundling technique as yours – by definition, it has to be something **new*!* 😆
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Creative nothingHow do we rediscover creativity when it’s so deeply buried, it seems non-existent 😕The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-nothing/)
A similar posts that addresses creative blocks
### The future is the past
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/
Last updated: 2026-01-21T07:00:14.000Z
Yes, yes, I know. Allow me to explain what seems like a frankly ridiculous statement.
But hear me out. It's very simple:
You have a mind—we all do—that tries to predict the future. When it's doing this, it presents you with imagery of that future, to allow you to ‘make plans, decisions and preparations’. You can conjure up these ideas of the future and play with them.
And it genuinely *looks* like that information (or at least some of it) is coming *from* the future; like it's being beamed back or something, or you're being transported there to check it out.
But that's not possible.
Someone correct me, but I'm not sure there's any mechanism in the known universe that allows us to receive *actual* data from the future. Like, *any* data.
Not a shred.
The future, such as we know it (i.e. the experience of it we have), is completely unknown. Yes, there are patterns and there are predictions but that's not actual data from the future.
It's worth slowing down and just sitting with that for a moment.
😐
When the mind is creating future stories, it has literally ONE source of data at its disposal: The past.
All the stuff it's accumulated: 📦
It doesn't have *any* other data to go on (other than what's streaming in through our senses right Now).
Therefore…
🫠
**The Future is the Past**
## Why is this important?
Well, it kind of crops up quite a lot, that's why! All the time, in fact.
Myself and a client were exploring it, just this morning.
Something had happened to them (in the past) and it meant that the mind was creating all sorts of scary stories about the future for them. (These concerns were *entirely* justified, given what the mind had experienced and the data it was going off.)
But the content of those stories wasn't really the issue. It was more that the mind was giving its predictions a legitimacy they simply didn't have.
The imagery genuinely *seemed* to be endowed with at least *some* aspect of future knowledge. But, as we discovered when we slowed right down, 100.000000% of it was created from the past – not one iota of it was actually *from* the future.
And that makes a huge difference.
Because the future is genuinely unknown. It's pure potential.
Which is why they make it perfectly clear to you, when you're about to invest in the stock market:
> *“Past performance is not a reliable indicator of future results.”*
Quite!
💝
Giles
### Related
[Trauma and triggersDeeply understanding the nature of our trauma responses is the end to their hold over us ❤️🩹The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trauma-and-triggers/)
Predictions, unpacked!
### Superstitions
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitions/
Last updated: 2026-09-05T08:24:09.000Z
This one cut deep, because, [as I've explored before](https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitious-thinking/), superstitious thinking isn't just not walking under ladders and black cats crossing your path – it is *much* more prevalent than you'd imagine:
[](https://xkcd.com/3191/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Link to original comic: [https://xkcd.com/3191/](https://xkcd.com/3191/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“A way to train yourself to feel like any bad thing that happens is your fault.”*
### 😐 🫢 😧 😫
Like I said in [the previous piece](https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitious-thinking/), the mind is such a great pattern-matcher and meaning-maker that it'll make a connection between pretty much *anything* that life delivers and its own misplaced sense of agency.
Whether it lands on the side of *“I did that, yay!”* for something ‘good’ or *“That was my fault, boo!”* for something ‘bad’ is a bit of a lottery – probably baked into your conditioning by now (and certainly a function of your moment-to-moment state of mind) but seeing that it's [all made up](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-made-up/) is the first step to being free of any concomitant suffering.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Superstitious thinkingThe roots of what is keeping us stuck today lie in the innocence of yesterday ❤️🩹The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitious-thinking/)
This goes into more detail about how those superstitious patterns get laid down… and how to get out from underneath them.
### What needs to get done will get done
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-needs-to-get-done-will-get-done/
Last updated: 2026-01-19T07:00:54.000Z
It's the start of the week, which means you might be reading this and fretting about all the stuff you have to do.
(The struggle is real, people ✊🏻)
So how about this, as a idea:
💡
What **needs* to get done, **will* get done.
Sounds a bit trite, yeah?
But from an Innate Health perspective, it makes sense.
Life's happening. We're experiencing that; we're part of it.
We *are* the witnessing of it.
And the mind is [observing and commentating](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/). (In terms of the chatty bit you're aware of, that's pretty much *all* it does.)
And part of that commentating is all the *“I still have this to do”* and *“I haven't done that thing yet”* noise – the judgement and the haranguing.
Which has no real bearing on the actual *doing* of the thing.
By definition, if something *needs* to get done, it will get done. (If it doesn't, it may get done, it may not.)
But look how it feels, to *know* that what needs to get done, will get done.
See how much lighter it is; how much easier.
It's almost the frame of mind from which what needs to get done, just… gets done.
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
### Related
[Doing the hard thingOne of those ‘What I learned from…’ stories that make such a big difference 🚰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/doing-the-hard-thing/)
This was something that—in the strictest sense—didn't ***need** to get done… and it got done (after a lot of irrelevant judgement and haranguing, that **didn't* get it done)!
### It’s all made up
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-all-made-up/
Last updated: 2026-01-18T07:00:45.000Z
The way that different minds react to spiritual truths is endlessly fascinating to me.
First up, I’ve got one of my own that is sometimes restful and at other times fights life; is occasionally quiet enough to let insight land but mostly is just chattering away to itself.
I remember years ago a first conversation with a potential client, where they were *so* affronted at me suggesting that *“it’s all made up,”* I never saw them again! (If a mind doesn't want to hear it, it'll skedaddle.)
And then there are times when I get schooled by a client, as happened the other day.
---
We’d been talking about moods and behaviour and other people and as I was reflecting my own experience, I said something like,
> *“I’ve just noticed that when I’m not caught up in a bunch of expectations—when I’m not really attached to my thinking—I just do better.”*
*“What’s ‘better?’ Better for whom?”* they asked, innocently enough, and I was completely stumped.
It’s funny, because I entered the kind of state that my clients often find themselves in, when I ask innocent questions of *them.*
It threw me so utterly in that moment that it was impossible to answer, intellectually.
*KTHUNK!* … 😶
I was unceremoniously dumped off my current [train of thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trains-of-thought/) and sat there in nothingness for a bit.
*“Oh. Hang on,”* I said, basking in the space of insight with a slight grin on my face.
It feels *so good* to be wrong!!
---
And it slowly occurred to me that this was a case of:
- [Mountain vs. No Mountain](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mountain-no-mountain/) ⛰️
- Different floors of the [Great Glass Consciousness Elevator](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/) ↕️
- Walking the invisible line between formless and form
Because of course there *is* no ‘better’ and ‘worse’ – those are just dualistic concepts, created by the mind.
What is, *is.*
I don’t get to choose my reactions, they were forged in the 14 billion year old chain of actions and consequences that started with the big bang (maybe before, for all we know).
There is only *THIS.*
🧘🏻♂️
And at the same time, that’s a load of old bollocks, isn’t it, when I’m busy yelling at my daughter ’cos I’ve had a crappy day and I no longer have the ‘luxury’ of [self-medicating with alcohol](https://www.gilespcroft.com/abstainiversary/) to numb myself from ego’s needy bleating and endless rules.
No, we inhabit a world of form, with other people in it (even though we [only ever actually experience our selves](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/) through them) and I’d be the first to admit that ‘it’s nice to be nice’!
Anything else is just using spirituality to bypass the human experience.
---
This is the beautiful [paradox](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/) of this existence we lead: two seemingly opposing things can be true, at once.
Maybe getting comfortable with that is the key. It brings to mind some words from [Alan Watts](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/album/wattswave-v-the-web-of-life?ref=gilespcroft.com) (my emphasis):
> *“What I would call a*
> *‘Really swinging human being’*
> *Is a person who lives on two levels at once.*
> *He’s able to live on the level*
> *Of being his ordinary ego*
> *His everyday personality*
> *And play his role in life*
> *And to observe all the rules and so on*
> *But if he’s only on that level*
> *And thinks that’s all there is*
> *It becomes a drag.*
> *If we can … *know* also underneath this,*
> *That we are the *whole works*,*
> *You get a very marvellous and agreeable arrangement,*
> *A most remarkable harmoniousness.*
> *I mean it gives one’s life*
> *A great sense of joy and exuberance*
> *If you can carry on these two things at once.*
> *If you, in other words,*
> *You know that all the serious*
> *Predicaments of life*
> *Are a game.”*
We are Human ➕ Being.
Humans, being.
The game's there to be enjoyed – [remember to have fun](https://www.gilespcroft.com/remember-to-have-fun/)!
😄
Giles
### Related
[Mountain - No Mountain - Mountaina.k.a. The Enlightenment Path explained 🧘🏻♀️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mountain-no-mountain/)
If you fancy a deep dive into an 18 min video exploration 🤔
[WATTSWAVE V: The Web of Life, by Akira The Don & Alan Watts18 track albumAkira The Doncrabsatmidnight](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/album/wattswave-v-the-web-of-life?ref=gilespcroft.com)
If you fancy listening to Alan Watts lectures, to the tune of Lo-Fi Hip Hop 😄
### Later
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/later/
Last updated: 2026-01-17T07:00:51.000Z
I have written before of my love of [crosswords](https://www.gilespcroft.com/crosswords-are-awesome/), and how you put a question ‘[on the back burner](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-problems-on-the-back-burner/)’, to be furnished in due course with the answer, without effort.
Well a funny thing happened yesterday. I'd been racking my brain over a fairly straightforward clue, dropping in on it every now and again and… nope. Still nothing there (why am I even bothering trying)?!
Then, just as I was climbing into bed, there it was. Clear as day. Simple. Straightforward. I knew that I knew it. All sorted. Back burner FTW!
Next morning, I come down to the kitchen table and… it's bloody gone again!!
And I was back to racking my brains all over again.
😫
It just goes to show, it's not wise to leave things until later. Inspiration, creativity, gifts from the energy of life… those need acting on, pronto.
It's why, when I have an idea for a Daily Reminder, I'll get it written down immediately.
I know that if I listen to the mind under such circumstances, saying in the most casual fashion,
> 📦🗣️ *“Don't worry dude, I've got this. It's such a clear, well-formed idea, there's no way I'm going to forget this one. You don't need to take notes…”*
…I'll have forgotten it literally 2 minutes later. (Often those little gems are gone forever.)
So to hammer home how important action is—more important than a [feeling of motivation](https://www.gilespcroft.com/motivation-isnt-necessary/)!—here are three closely related images I've been saving up for such an occasion:
#### Richard Carlson, from January 1st:
****Dive in**. If you're going to do something important, the best time to start is right now. Not later, tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. Right now.
> *“But I'm not ready!”* said a mind
Have a look at the next one, then:
#### Hugh Laurie (of all people):
I've never really *felt* ‘ready’ to do most of the stuff I've done, careers- and business-wise. I've mostly just muddled through!
This last one's the kicker though:
*Later*, you've forgotten the damned crossword clue!!
😂
Giles
### Related
[Crosswords are awesomeThere is much to be learned from the humble crossword. Not so much from the answers, but from the way the answers come to us 📝The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/crosswords-are-awesome/)
### Motivation isn't necessary
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/motivation-isnt-necessary/
Last updated: 2026-01-16T07:00:07.000Z
Today's Daily Reminder is a bit like corrections corner.
Because there's every chance that when you read the piece from the other day—[*Why ‘Motivate yourself’ is a trap*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-motivate-yourself-is-a-trap/)—your mind took that and ran with it… but in the wrong direction.
For which I take responsibility. 'Cos I wrote it!
It's not that I disagree with what I wrote… it's just that, in order not to make it about *two* things, instead of one, I left it incomplete.
So here's the simple truth of what's missing from that piece:
🔥
****You don't** ****need** **to feel motivated to get stuff done**
This is one of the biggest misconceptions going; in fact it's classic outside-in thinking, isn't it? But instead of *‘I'll be happy when…’* it's:
> 📦🗣️: *‘I'll be productive when I feel motivated.’*
😳
I'll let you into a little secret: right now I don't feel motivated in the slightest (I mean, who really *wants* to write and tell someone they made an error?!) … and yet, here I am.
I think if I'd waited to feel motivated before writing each Daily Reminder, they'd be more like Weekly Reminders (or maybe even *Monthly* ones… that's the state my writing had got to before I started the Reminders)!
Usually, the best way to get motivated to do something, is to actually start doing it, irrespective of how you feel.
(I'm literally just three paragraphs further down the page and I already feel different.)
So don't wait to get started.
Just start, and see what happens.
💟
Giles
### Read more on this…
[Waiting for a good feelingWaiting ≠ Taking action ⏰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/waiting-for-a-good-feeling/)
“Look for a feeling,” they say. And you're like… ⏳👀
[Inspiration and creativityHow to create when you’re not feeling inspired 😞The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inspiration-and-creativity/)
Understand what inspiration **is*, and how to use it.
### His and hers
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/his-and-hers/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T00:01:40.000Z
Me and Mrs Croft both bought each other the same Christmas present this year: a page-a-day calendar.
😂
Not the same one, you understand. Mine is the Richard Carlson [Don't Sweat the Small Stuff](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/7022/9781524896270?ref=gilespcroft.com) one, and hers is Anna Przy's [Keep It Up, Cutie!](https://uk.bookshop.org/a/7022/9780789348050?ref=gilespcroft.com) calendar.
It seems we both enjoy ‘daily reminders’ (polite cough) of how awesome we are, and how much easier life is than our minds make out!
Mine's next to my desk in my office, my wife's is in the kitchen and I spotted this one of hers from the other day, that made me smile:
> ***“Sometimes finding yourself is just remembering who you were before the entire world told you who you should be.”***
In fact, it was so on-message that I had to double check it wasn't *my* page-a-day I was looking at! 😆
But it just goes to show, we're all essentially saying the same thing, in our own special way. We're all pointing back to the principles behind life.
I've written before about how *everything* is a [metaphor](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/): art, [film](https://screwthezoo.com/the-philosophy-of-the-matrix/?ref=gilespcroft.com), [religion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/isnt-this-just-another-religion/), [music](https://www.gilespcroft.com/metaphors-all-the-way-down/) … and certainly these daily love letters I send out to you all.
And that's because there's only really one thing going on, in all our various activities as humans – to get back in touch with who we really are; our ‘inner self’ or [True Nature](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/).
As [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) said:
> *“And in this game of life, we all search for our selves. When I say selves, I mean inner selves, the thing that created the life in the first place. Now consciously, most of us are not aware of this. But if you’re searching for happiness, if you’re searching for tranquility, if you’re searching just to have a nice, peaceful, loving, understanding life… in actual fact, you’re searching for your inner self.”*
I will continue to point you away from all the thought-created nonsense we get so caught up in, and in *this* direction, until I draw my last breath!
It's the whole idea behind the **Daily Reminders**.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Metaphors all the way downWhen lyrics really hit the spot 🎶The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/metaphors-all-the-way-down/)
### Why ‘motivate yourself’ is a trap
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-motivate-yourself-is-a-trap/
Last updated: 2026-01-14T07:00:08.000Z
I've been writing for publication every day, for some time now. Not quite two years, but well on the way. Amazingly (to me) I've not missed a day.
So I now have a fair bit of experience of ‘what it's like’ (for a Giles, anyway) in my little Thought System 📦
Before I started, I did not.
I could not even *comprehend* doing this. In very simple terms, the experiential reality of writing daily was *outside* of my Thought System—a known unknown—so all my left brain had to go on was:
1. What it had observed of *others* writing daily, and
2. What it had observed of my own, much more sporadic, writing habits.
These are both **The Past**. That's all the mind has at its disposal, which I think you'll agree is a spectacularly [limited dataset](https://www.gilespcroft.com/working-on-limited-data/).
Like, that's *nothing*. (We know nothing.)
And given that it's generally trying to look out for me (but [in a really inappropriate and clueless way](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-a-nut-shell/)), it's maybe no surprise that—until I had some coaching—that very same left brain had looked at the notion of writing daily and concluded:
⛔
That is Not A Good Idea™
It was only when quizzed, professionally, by someone else, about its *reasons* for said conclusion, that its BS was dragged out, kicking and screaming, to start dissolving under the light of scrutiny, and then go away completely, once I actually started writing daily.
(There's a lesson there, I'm sure.)
Anyway, one key concern—before I started—was **motivation**. The mind couldn't see how it would be able to sustain the level of motivation that was *surely* required to write daily.
> *How would I do that?!* it asked. *Go from not-motivated, to motivated enough to write, if I didn't feel like it? Probably safer not to, eh?*
😳
Well, I'm here to report that you don't need to ‘motivate yourself’. It's another mind-story, designed to have you playing really small in life. The mind likes to *think* it's what motivates you, but it isn't.
This I realised, just from basic observation.
---
One morning, I noticed that I didn’t feel motivated first thing. I had a ton of stuff to do and I didn't want to do any of it.
So I didn't.
Instead, I just spent some time ‘being’ (which looks a lot like procrastinating – seemingly idly scrolling on my phone, and doing crosswords).
Half an hour later, I notice I’m feeling really motivated.
But I didn’t do anything. It can’t be a case of ‘motivate your self’ because I didn’t do it!! It just happened.
💡
****Motivation** ***must** **be intrinsic.**
🤔
So, what if… it’s just *there*, but there’s usually some noise getting in the way of it?
What would it be like if *that* were the case?
How would you feel about being ‘motivated’ then?
I'm not suggesting you take my word for it. (Ever.) I'm suggesting that next time you find you're *not* motivated, just keep an eye out for how it works to become motivated, once more.
Where does motivation come from, and realistically what part do ‘you’ (the Reader Ego Construct 📦) play?
Just notice.
**Warning**: You might find yourself doing a whole load of things you really *want* to do, that the mind had been putting imaginary roadblocks in front of.
🚧
Giles
p.s. you can report back your findings in the comments!
p.p.s. If you want me to drag some of *your* mind BS out into the open, so it starts to dissolve under the light of scrutiny, and then goes away once you start doing the thing you really want to do… [get in touch](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals).
### Doing the hard thing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/doing-the-hard-thing/
Last updated: 2026-01-13T09:15:30.000Z
Do you have something in your house that you don’t like doing?
A domestic chore that looms inappropriately large in your life? Something you find yourself constantly putting off?
That you maybe even joke about, to lighten the mood, e.g.
> *“Oh that’s terrible… and to make matters worse, there’s still *\[insert nemesis here\]* to do, nooooooo!”* 😫😆
Or…
> *“I did *\[insert nemesis here\]* today!!”* 💪🏻
> *“You never did!!”* 😲
> *“I did!!”* 😊
> *“OMFG, how are you still standing?!”* 🤯
> *“I know, right? I’d like my badge now, please.”* 😎
(Just us? Surely not!)
Here at Croft Towers, you'll never guess what our life-ruining nemesis is…
It’s changing the water filter.
😂
The water here is a bit ropey – if you're going to actually *enjoy* drinking a cup of tea, it needs filtering. And a while back, we decided we didn’t like buying, using and chucking out water filters so much, so we switched to this refillable doohickey instead, which:
- eases existential environmental guilt
- supposedly saves cash, and
- makes you feel like you’re actually living the life of an Instagram ad.
All in one fell swoop. I mean, what’s not to like?
Well, the fact that you have refill the damn thing, for a start.
🤨
I mean, ok, I get it. In the big scheme of things—or, let’s face it, even the *little* scheme of things—it’s relatively small fry.
It’s *not* a dirty, smelly, dusty, heavy, technical or tricky domestic task to complete.
It’s just a bit tedious.
Which is precisely why it’s achieved this semi-hilarious, mythical, dragon-to-be-slain status in our household.
All be fine and dandy—enjoyable, even—if it didn’t ever become a problem.
## It becomes a problem
But every six weeks or so, it *becomes* a problem. Because it's scheduled to pop up again on my digital To Do list, instantly provoking the reaction:
> *“What?!?! That can't *possibly* be right! No *way* has it been six weeks! It feels like I've only *just* done it!”* 😫
And a low level sadness immediately descends. Because no matter what else is going on in my life, there's now *also* the damned water filter to dismantle, empty out, wash, refill, flush through and re-set.
☹️
Now, you're very likely reading this and thinking *OMG Giles, why are you making such a big deal out of this?! It's nothing!*
And that's kind of the whole point. Because this is what minds do: they make a big deal out of nothing.
So in practical terms, when that **Change water filter** item resurfaces on my To Do list, the first thing I will do is not do it. (Because there's *always* something more important—way more important!—to be doing instead.)
But then, as the days go by, I'll delay it. I put it off and—with a simple swipe 👉🏻📲 gesture—I punt it.
> *“Well it’s definitely not happening today, so I may as well take it out of the *Today* list – there’s enough in there already that’s not going to get done, I shouldn’t add to the mental overload!”*
But then, like some robot serial killer in a movie that just won't die, there it is again the next day. And I have to go through it all again.
😖
On a good day, first thing, the app tells me, happily,
📋
****Hey buddy – you only have ONE new To Do for today! 🥳**
And it’s the sodding water filter, that I’d forgotten about, since I punted it off *yesterday’s* list.
Add to this the fact I’m trying to fit this task in around a busy family, who are always drinking water, making cups of tea, filling water bottles etc.
Even just writing about it, I’m getting a bit hacked off.
By a frickin’ WATER FILTER, people!!! 😱
## A story is told
Anyway, here’s something I noticed.
Last time I had to do it, I’d been putting it off for about two weeks.
Every day, I wouldn't do it.
The joke had been worn so many times—*“…and I haven’t even changed the water filter yet!”*—that it was threadbare. No longer recognisable as a joke.
To boot, the mind (remember: minds are tricksy) had created a little story that I’d not really noticed, until afterwards.
It was something like:
🧠
**“I'm going to have to be in a good place—on top of everything—before I attempt the water filter change.”*
Which kind of explained everything, because the mind was waiting… and not seeing the conditions it thought it needed… and waiting some more… and not seeing the right conditions it was demanding… and making me feel bad, repeatedly.
## A breakthrough
And then, after a pretty bad night’s sleep, with a stack of things to do, very much not on top of *anything* (frankly dreading what the day held) I just found myself doing it.
In fact, I’d pretty much done it, before I even noticed.
Instant win. Achievement unlocked!
I did the ‘hard’ thing, even when I wasn't feeling in the mood for it!
Mind-rules be damned!
😜
## What's the advice, then?
Well, I’m not entirely sure there is any. Does there have to be advice?
Your own mind will have been following through this story, relating it to the beliefs that it holds about you, and ‘how you are’; making additional impressions about me, and ‘how I am’ in those little mental archives of yours; comparing the two against each other and spitting out a ‘better’ or ‘worse’ judgement… this is all just what minds do.
🤷🏻♂️
But there’s no *“So in these situations, what you SHOULD (🚩) do is…”*
That’s not what the Daily Reminders are about.
But I can tell you, that since going through this experience and jotting down the bare bones of this piece, the dreaded **Change water filter** item has bubbled up on my To Do app again and this time, it didn't bother me half as much.
Because this episode helped me to see through the mind's tricks. (Again.)
Maybe awareness—that it was only ‘hard’ because the mind made it so—is the key?
Who’d have thought a humble water filter could form such a solid foundation for spiritual growth?
💟
Giles
p.s. Domestic chores aside, what *other* ‘hard’ things do you think your mind is creating a story around? 🤔
### It never gets any harder, either
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/it-never-gets-any-harder-either/
Last updated: 2026-01-12T07:00:18.000Z
The other day we looked at how the subjective experience of doing exercise can be identical, no matter one’s level of fitness: [It never gets any easier](https://www.gilespcroft.com/it-never-gets-any-easier/).
And almost as soon as I’d written that one, life presented me with a totally different scenario that pointed to the same thing, but in a different way.
It was the settings on my daughter’s new phone.
📲
She started at ‘big school’ this year, and walks in on her own, so a mobile phone was always on the cards. (I mean, she’s only been asking for one for about the last 5 years 😂)
She has no need for anything fancy, so we plumped for The Phone (it’s literally called ‘[The Phone](https://thephone.fr/en?ref=gilespcroft.com)’), which looks like a smartphone, but does *nothing* other than make calls and send texts. No camera, no internet, no apps, no games, no social media, no music, no location tracking, no nothing.
She loves it! (And it gets ignored 95% of the time, which is perfect.)
## Keyboard clicks
There are only a few tweaks you can make in the settings and one thing she switched off immediately was the tactile feedback when typing on the keyboard, as she can’t stand it.
Now, we’d jumped on the bandwagon fairly early and received a loaner ‘version 1’ of The Phone during the summer, as they were in the process of bringing out a ‘version 2’, which arrived just the other day.
Trouble is, in the interim, there had been a security update to the software that, for reasons known only to the company themselves, disabled some settings; the tactile-keyboard-toggle included.
You could still tap on the Settings menu, and it would still take you through to the screen with the requisite switch, but then, in the blink of an eye, it would be gone again and you’d be taken back to the previous screen.
The first I learned about it was a frustrated wail emanating from the lounge, as she was setting it up,
> *“Daaaaaaad! I think my new phone’s broken – it won’t let me switch off the buzzing keyboard!”*
I looked into it, saw it wasn’t possible, emailed Support and they replied very quickly to let me that they’d disabled it deliberately, and why. I relayed all of this to my daughter and she decided that non-buzzy keys were *such* a dealbreaker, she’d rather keep the v1 Phone and send the v2 Phone back.
🤷🏻♀️
Ok, I think, but let’s see if I can hit that toggle real quick and switch keyboard clicks off for her; score some brilliant-daddy points.
## Agile digits
It was like a game designed to test the reflexes. You had to memorise where exactly on the screen the two tap targets you needed to hit in quick succession were situated, then limber up and attempt it as quickly as you could.
Additional challenge was provided by the fact that there didn’t seem to be a standard length of time for the screen to appear before it disappeared again, meaning that sometimes you wouldn’t even get through to the toggle, and on other tries you got your finger to it, but just not long enough to actually do anything *with* it.
I spent a good 20 minutes trying though, and frustrated wails started emanating from my office, too.
Eventually I gave up. I’d given it my best shot, but it simply wasn’t possible. They’d told me that the setting had been disabled, and my experiments had confirmed this. We’d have to return the new phone and keep the old one.
I came down to demonstrate to my daughter exactly what the problem was, then went back upstairs to locate the box, to start the returns process, while the Giles Ego Construct 📦 bemoaned the fact that it wasn’t getting any of this faffing-around time back.
Literally one minute later, she’s bounded up the stairs and is stood there next to me, with the phone in her hand and a huge grin on her face.
> *“I did it!”*
Her quick little fingers had hit the toggle and switched off keyboard clicks, effortlessly.
🤯
## Here it is again
It’s (now) clear that these 53-year old reflexes cannot match my daughter’s 11-year old ones, but until she’d managed the feat, I was blissfully unaware of this fact.
Performing the quick-tap-task I didn’t feel like I’d ‘lost my edge’ or anything, because what I was actually experiencing, there and then, was just that moment’s thought-created reality.
That’s all we get.
Change is happening all the time, but what we experience is ‘*this*’.
The objective measures, the comparisons, the ‘shoulds’, the gold standards, the hierarchies – yes, they’re real (I’m definitely slower than an 11yo), but it’s almost as if they’re just a layer of abstraction that’s laid over our actual experience of ‘*this*’; of Now.
They’re a story, into which our *actual* experience fits.
Anyway, I found the whole episode to be fascinating, and it gave me a refreshed perspective on the notion of ‘doing your best’!
💟
Giles
p.s. I’m genuinely looking forward to the day when she kicks my ass on an Alpine climb 🚵🏻♀️
### Related
[It never gets any easier…it just gets faster (or slower)! Now, why is that? 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/it-never-gets-any-easier/)
### Identity is baked in
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/identity-is-baked-in/
Last updated: 2026-01-11T07:00:48.000Z
Do you think that you've got this whole ego thing licked?
That you're pretty chill and you seldom, if ever, take things personally?
That you're quite comfortable with your spiritual evolution?
Well then, let me recommend a test of your mettle.
🐄
Somebody bought me the board game pictured above—[*Herd Mentality*](https://bigpotato.co.uk/products/herd-mentality?ref=gilespcroft.com)—for Christmas (thank you)!
The premise couldn't be more simple: A question gets asked, and everybody has to guess what the most common answer will be.
The person who goes ‘with the herd’ most often, wins. There are penalties for individuality.
It's *hilarious*. Way funnier than it sounds, because as soon as you start playing, everybody's egos come out to play.
Not ‘ego’ in the sense of wanting to win, or be the best, but ‘ego’ as in the mind's preferences. Its little hidden rules about how-life-should-be and what-other-people-should-think.
The most straightforward questions, such as:
- *What's the best way to cook an egg?*
- *Name an animal beginning with the letter P*
- *What is the worst vegetable?*
- *Name something you take into the bath with you*
…cause *utter* chaos when brought from friends’ and family’s Thought Systems out into the open.
I had no idea ‘I’ (i.e.the Giles Ego Construct 📦) felt so strongly about so many different topics, until asked to put that to one side and write down what I thought everyone *else* would be thinking!!
And writing down something that ego vehemently disagreed with as ‘my’ answer was excruciating!! Talk about cognitive dissonance – it was *really* hard!
As it was for everyone. I lost count of the number of times people were heard to say,
> *“Now I must be clear – this isn't what I believe, but it's the answer that I think is probably right”*
…followed closely by (as people read out their answers),
> *“Why ON EARTH would you think THAT?!?!”*
🤣 😂 🤣 😂 🤣 😂
A truly splendid game for the family that we played repeatedly, all through the holidays, such was the hilarity it induced every time we sat down to ask the questions.
Highly recommended and *such* an effective way to shine a light on separate realities, playing it should come with CPD points for Innate Health practitioners!
😆
It brings to mind a hilarious little Hafiz poem:
> **TEN THOUSAND IDIOTS**
> *It is always a danger*
> *To aspirants*
> *On the*
> *Path*
> *When they begin*
> *To believe and*
> *Act*
> *As if the ten thousand idiots*
> *Who so long ruled*
> *And lived*
> *Inside*
> *Have all packed their bags*
> *And skipped town*
> *Or*
> *Died.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Ten Thousand Idiots" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
🧡
Giles
### What a song lyric taught me about goals
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-a-song-lyric-taught-me-about-goals/
Last updated: 2026-03-01T11:18:06.000Z
Back in my first year at Uni, a girlfriend really got me into [*The The*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The%5FThe?ref=gilespcroft.com).
Being a goofy 80's pop kind of kid, it *really* wasn't my thing—a baptism of fire!—but I was desperate to impress her so I listened to loads of it and eventually warmed to the desolate, unforgiving visions of Matt Johnson, and his gravelly voice.
I'm grateful I was pushed out of my musical comfort zone like that, because I still really love listening to The The, now! (The fact it was set to the catchiest, [ear-wormiest kind of music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZYgKCbFbWY&ref=gilespcroft.com) really helped.)
Anyway, in my *second* year of Uni, they released a new album—the utterly brilliant [*Dusk*](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2k3Ynsz9imCRtASKUGCxewhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do9vp%5FKhT-A&list=OLAK5uy%5Fljme0F16VcLIN7WpU3JBx55opN41PaxNY&ref=gilespcroft.com)—which starts with the following lyric; a lyric that *really* got under my skin:
> *“And have you ever wanted something*
> *So badly*
> *That it possessed your body and your soul*
> *Through the night and through the day?*
> *Until you finally get it…*
> *And then you realise*
> *That it wasn't what you wanted*
> *After all.*
> *And then those self-same*
> *Sickly little thoughts*
> *Now go and attach themselves*
> *To something (or somebody) new!*
> *And the whole goddamn thing*
> *Starts*
> *All over*
> *Again.”*
(I know it got under my skin 'cos I can type those lyrics out without looking them up or even having to play the track. And, umm, here I am, writing about it, more than 30 years later!)
Although I didn’t realise it at the time, listening to that—a lot!—changed my relationship with goals.
It kind of took the shine off them, even back then, and I thought I was being a bit cool and nihilistic wallowing in The The lyrics, making out like nothing mattered and *Oh what's the point?!*
(I was in my early 20's – let's give the fledgling Giles Ego Construct 📦 a break here.)
## Only one problem
Trouble was, I still really wanted to achieve things.
Make something of my life. Be a better version of me.
Live a life of service, yes—I was training to be a doctor, after all—but also to have all the things; a life of plenty!
I wanted ***stuff*** and I wanted lots of it, even if that lyric was whispering away somewhere in the back of my mind…
> *“That's not the answer, Giles, it's just the ‘whole goddamn thing starting all over again.’”*
But I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know any other way of being. I hadn't really taken enough meaning from the lyrics to the degree where they eased my mind in any way.
Especially when the track finishes with these lines:
> *“The only true freedom*
> *Is freedom from the heart's desires*
> *And the only true happiness*
> *This way lies.”*
…which at the time I just thought was crackers! (Hadn't he heard that I really wanted ***stuff?!***)
*“Sod that!”* I remember thinking, *“That's simply not possible.”*
…but I still kept on listening, trying to squeeze more juice out of those words.
Trying to ‘get it’.
## A more nuanced view
It's easy to read or listen to lyrics like this and for the mind to go into black and white mode, interpreting it as:
📦
Desire = Bad
No desire = Good
And when it's read as an instruction, or an overall gold standard to aim at like that, then it's not going to make much sense to a human being, because that state (pure being/no human) is indeed unattainable.
To be human *is* to have wants and preferences and values and goals and desires.
That's normal. It's fun! It's what this adventure is all about, surely?
Does it come with risks? Of course! (All adventures do.)
And I think those risks go hand in hand with how much we allow the ‘sickly little thoughts’ to ‘attach themselves’, not so much to the thing they're lusting after—that's a given—but more to our wellbeing.
When we see a goal, or the realisation of a desire, as ‘the way’ to be happy, we're on a hiding to nothing, because it might shut ego up for a bit (i.e. the ‘heart stops desiring’), but it'll just get revved back up again pretty soon, and yes – ‘the whole goddamn thing starts all over again.’
But holding these desires more lightly; seeing them as more of a directional *guide* than a specific outcome that is *needed* ‘in order to be ok’, I think means we're much more likely to experience more *moments* of ‘freedom from the heart's desires.’
Because who we really are *is* that freedom, and it's there all the time.
And I think that knowing that ‘true freedom’ is *there*—not for us to experience all the time, but to fall into at any moment—is half the battle.
It's why I suggested a very gentle new year's [direction-setting exercise](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-three-words/) for you, rather than getting you to write out a whole load of ‘new somethings’ for the mind to go attaching your wellbeing to.
💟
Giles
p.s. You can listen to the opening track from *Dusk* (and the rest of the album) on YouTube, here: [*True Happiness This Way Lies*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do9vp%5FKhT-A&list=OLAK5uy%5Fljme0F16VcLIN7WpU3JBx55opN41PaxNY&index=1&pp=8AUB&ref=gilespcroft.com).
### Related
[I’ll be happy when…Four words that ruin lives… and yet we don’t even notice 😩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)
What happens when we **do* attach to outcomes.
### Worry tomorrow
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/worry-tomorrow/
Last updated: 2026-01-09T07:00:37.000Z
Have you ever been into a pub or bar and seen this rather amusing sign?
I think I may have even worked behind a couple of bars where we had that on display, such is the ubiquity of the joke.
It's offering the thing that everybody has come for—beer—and saying that you can have it for free!
## 🙌🏻 🍻 🥳 🎉 🆓
*When?*
Tomorrow!
😋: *Cool, I'll come back then.*
You come back the next day… and the message is the same.
“There *is* free beer, for sure, we're not lying – it's *tomorrow*.
Come back and get it then, but make sure you read the sign, when you do.” 😂
---
A couple of days ago, I got you all thinking about whether or not there was [any legitimate point to worry](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pointless-worry/), which generated some discussion but we ended up mostly on the same page: agreeing that worry is pointless.
And it got me thinking, because there's a thing I do that's almost subconscious now, as a way of worrying less, in a way that doesn't freak the mind out too much and doesn't feel like denial.
When I spot the Giles Ego Construct 📦 getting all het up about something (as signified by a drop in my mood, and life seeming to be deadly serious/miserable/bleak all of a sudden), I'll thank it for its input, and give it no-holds-barred permission to worry as much as it likes… ***in a bit.***
It's like a have a little sign, hanging there, in the back of my mind that says:
😂 (And yes, I did use [AI](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/ai/) to create this one for me.)
It's offering the thing that the mind wants to do—worry—and saying that it can have free rein to do as much of it as it likes!
## 🙌🏻 😩 🥳 🎉 🔜
*When?*
In a bit.
📦: *Cool, I'll come back then.*
You spot yourself worrying again, a little while later… and the message is the same.
“You *can* worry, for sure, I'm not lying – but *a bit later*.
Come back and do it then. But make sure you read the sign when you do.”
🤭😜🤣
Your mileage may vary—and it's dependent on you having made your peace with worry being *utterly* pointless—but give it a go, and report back your findings in the comments!
😘
Giles
### Related
[Wisdom vs. worryHow do we know when we’re tapped into wisdom, as opposed to worry? It’s a fine line, but there are ways of telling ⚖️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-vs-worry/)
### It never gets any easier
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/it-never-gets-any-easier/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T00:02:00.000Z
After something of an exercise hiatus, and in spite of the frigid weather here in the UK, I'm back on my bike.
(It's amazing how something can be such a priority one day, and then, with a simple shift in focus/attention, it no longer is.)
Anyway, I've overcome the initial [hump of inertia](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pastime-reset/), and now it's a case of staying motivated by treating myself to favourite little outdoor jaunts that are still doable, in:
1. wintery conditions, and
2. my current state of [colossal un-fitness](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-three-words/)
So the other day I decided to do a loop that includes a really gradual but long climb, from [Pontypool up to Blaenavon](https://www.strava.com/activities/16885857957?ref=gilespcroft.com). It's an old railway line that's been turned into a cycle track with a very steady 1.6% gradient, over a full 12km.
I absolutely love it—good surface, no traffic—and use it as a test of my fitness, because you have to get into a steady rhythm and then sustain the effort for around half an hour.
And as I was panting my way up there the other day, I noticed something that lies right at the heart of the inside-out understanding, that has really stuck with me.
I was chuckling to myself as I rode, recalling the quote from 3-time Tour de France winner Greg LeMond, who apparently said, of becoming a cycling champion,
> *“It never gets any easier, it just gets faster.”*
…or in my case, *slower!!!* 🤣
And then the realisation hit me:
😯
It didn't matter how fit, or unfit, or how fast, or slow I was, I was having the ****exact same experience**.
I've got the figures to prove it. I was almost 8 minutes off my personal best up that climb the other day, and yet the *experience* of riding up it, full tilt, was no different from the day I smashed my way into the overall [Top 10 leaderboard](https://www.strava.com/segments/28763178?ref=gilespcroft.com), last year.
- My heart rate was through the roof
- I was panting all the way up
- I wanted to stop (but didn't)
- I'd committed and [stopped fighting it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/life-its-basically-intervals/).
I was just much slower.
🤷🏻♂️
## How is this any different?
And here's where it really chimes with the inside-out understanding – you know, this counter-intuitive, but life-changing fact:
🔑
****Key Message**:
➤ ****100%** of our feelings come from (the Principle of) Thought
➤ ****0%** of our feelings come from our circumstances
Because it doesn't matter how rich, or poor you are; how many friends you do, or don't have; how busy, or quiet you are; how fit, or unfit you are… because you don't get to experience *any* of those things.
You get the sensations of this moment, as created by the Principle of Thought.
And then the next. And the next. And the next.
So while it looks like you're working towards having more money, better relationships, more productive or creative work, or a fitness goal, all of those things are like sneaky little ‘[I'll be happy when](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)’ scripts.
There's nothing wrong with them—these goals are to be celebrated and enjoyed!—but as my slog up to Blaenavon reminded me, so clearly, it really *is* all about the journey, not the destination.
That's all you get.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[I’ll be happy when…Four words that ruin lives… and yet we don’t even notice 😩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)
### Pointless worry
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/pointless-worry/
Last updated: 2026-01-07T07:00:15.000Z
Here’s one for you: Is there ever a legitimate reason to worry? Does it serve *any* purpose, whatsoever? I can’t think of any, and I need your help.
> *“To prepare, Giles, you idiot!”*
I can hear you yelling, but I’m not talking about planning, I’m talking about worrying.
You know, as in the dictionary definition:
📖
****Worry** (v.): **To cause to be anxious*
Planning or preparing is not the same as worrying. You can plan, or prepare without anxiety.
(As an aside, did you know that the etymology of the word ‘worry’ is *‘to strangle, or bite the throat’*? Why do that to yourself?!)
> *“It’s got to be protective though, hasn’t it? Otherwise we wouldn’t do it!”*
Hmmm, I’m not so sure. Let’s a have a look, shall we?
## Example scenarios
#### **Travel**
Lots of potential for things going wrong means it’s only natural to worry, surely?
- I don’t think so. Prepare. Book tickets. Take snacks. Plan for contingencies if necessary… but worry? Pointless!
- **Your best bet**: Stay present and open. When things go awry, you’re perfectly equipped to deal with problems, or ask for help.
- **Try this**: We’ve dealt with this one, specifically, if it’s a source of worry for you 👉🏻 [There's nothing wrong with that](https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-that/).
#### Health
Another classic. Got a ‘worrying’ symptom that you need to go and get investigated? It’s there in the definition, Giles – a symptom you should (🚩) worry about!
- Again, is anything *gained* by worrying? Make the appointment, get the test, wait for the result, deal with the consequences… but worry? Pointless!
- **I get it**: The mind *will* go there. But you don’t have to 👉🏻 [jump on that train](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trains-of-thought/) of thought.
#### Tests and interviews
Big stakes, hard questions, difficult times, worry is natural, yes?
- Just because the mind does it, doesn’t mean it’s helpful! Prepare? Definitely! Revise? Oh yes. Do your best? For sure. But worry…? Pointless.
- **Again**: Your best bet is to stay present and open – you’ll be better able to put into action all that planning and revision you’ve done.
- **Try this**: Another one we’ve already tackled 👉🏻 [The storm before the calm](https://www.gilespcroft.com/storm-before-the-calm/)
## A study showed…
The reason this has come to my attention is because [this research paper](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0005789419300826?ref=gilespcroft.com) has been doing the rounds again, on social media. It found that when properly tracked:
- 91.4% of worries did not come true for those diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder.
Prompting anxious people everywhere to cry,
> *“OMFG!! I knew it!! 8.6% of my worries are going to come true!!”* 😱
But have a look again at the examples we’ve explored, above. None of those have got *anything* to do with preventing things from happening.
That’s not the issue.
You could lose your luggage, get stranded overnight in an airport, even crash and be maimed; get told bad news at the hospital, have some deeply unpleasant investigations, be in pain, be diagnosed with terminal cancer; get laughed at, forget your own name in an interview, fail an exam… and you know what?
🤷♂️
****You’d handle it.**
Worry’s not going to prevent *anything* from happening—at all!—it’s just going to degrade your experience of life.
## Or maybe *improve* it?
Hear me out for a moment.
If it offers no practical advantage in terms of general safety (because [we already *are* safe](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-zone-of-safety/)), then how about worry having a more straightforward purpose?
What if… the true function of worry is to point us back to the fact that the mind has become active, is ‘worrying unnecessarily’ and is taking us away from the very place we will experience the safety that it's looking for?
In presence and openness.
Maybe that’s the point to worry: to remind us not to worry.
¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
💟
Giles
### Related
[What are anxious feelings telling us?What if it’s not about \*what\* we’re thinking, but \*how\* we relate to thought? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-are-anxious-feelings-telling-us/)
### Get yourself some ‘thick’ desires
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/thick-desires/
Last updated: 2026-01-24T21:51:41.000Z
I did a fair bit of slowing down over the holidays, sitting, reading, reflecting. I'd been looking forward to doing just that, and it was great!
I remember this time last year, having queued up posts for a couple of weeks so that I could take time off, getting back into things felt *really* hard.
Not so much, this year. Higher quality rest, maybe? (I honestly don't know the reason – maybe I'm just better at daily emails now? 🤷🏻♂️)
Anyway, during my reading, one [new (to me) writer](https://www.joanwestenberg.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) I came across (who, co-incidentally also uses Ghost 👻 as their writing platform) put something out late last year all about the difference between **thin desires**, and **thick desires**. In her words:
> *“A thick desire is one that changes you in the process of pursuing it. A thin desire is one that doesn't.”*
For instance, to build an *actual* community, with *actual* people, and all the messiness that comes with that (thick) vs. the completely effortless ‘community’ of social media (thin).
Or the difference between being a slave to [ticking off items](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-never-enough/) on your To Do list (thin) vs. being committed to a long term project, with many moving parts and uncertain outcome (thick).
She then goes on to outline how modern life seems designed specifically to sell you thin desires, but in the *guise* of thick ones; creaming off the easy, dopamine-rewarding aspects of more genuine, stolid thick desires and packaging it as the full thing.
Superficiality, dressed up as significance.
You can read the [whole piece here](https://www.joanwestenberg.com/thin-desires-are-eating-your-life/?ref=gilespcroft.com) (4 min read); it's really stuck with me and I definitely had it mind when I was choosing my [three words](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-three-words/) for 2026 – so if you haven't done that exercise for yourself yet, then maybe have a read of this first, for inspiration.
Some of the ‘thick desires’ I indulge, that didn't make it onto my list yesterday, but that I am always mindful of devoting at least *some* of my attention to:
- making [music mixes](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-nothing/)
- rustling up a [new curry](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-forward/)
- making plans to hang out with friends
- [poring over maps](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-have-to-stop-planning/) and route-planning, just for kicks
Because none of these outwardly ‘pointless’ pastimes (‘thick’ desires) are going to have any meaningful impact on the world at large, but they are the stuff of life.
Ignore them at your peril!
💟
Giles
### Mentioned above
[What three words?In which I propose the lightest of intention-setting exercises for you 📍The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-three-words/)
If you haven't done it yet, at least identify what excuses the mind is coming up with.
[Thin Desires Are Eating Your LifeThe defining experience of our age seems to be hunger. We’re hungry for more, but we have more than we need. We’re hungry for less, while more accumulates and multiplies. We’re hungry and we don’t have words to articulate why. We’re hungry, and we’re lacking and we’re wanting. We areWestenberg.JA Westenberg](https://www.joanwestenberg.com/thin-desires-are-eating-your-life/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Joan's original article, for you to read
### What three words?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-three-words/
Last updated: 2026-01-05T07:00:49.000Z
I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions—made up mind-nonsense designed to calcify the ego-identity—but at the same time, it’s good to have a direction to move in. Because as the old Lewis Carroll saying goes,
> *“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.”*
So when [this article](https://chrisbrogan.com/my-3-words-for-2026/?ref=gilespcroft.com) dropped in to my RSS feed yesterday, my knee-jerk reaction was to be a bit non-plussed, but then I started playing with the idea of having three simple words to keep me on-track throughout the year.
Three words you keep visible somewhere—a post-it note on your computer or something—that act as a sort of guiding light, when you’re at a decision-point. As Chris says in his post:
> *“The very, very, *very* key word is ‘Decision.’ You’re looking for words that answer questions for you.* ‘Oh, what should I do? I just got a job offer from a crazy new opportunity, but I feel so safe here at work.’ *If your word is ‘Adventure,’ then maybe this is your year.”*
I’m going to share the three I’ve chosen with you, and I’d like you to do the exercise for yourself and pop your three in the comments below.
## Word 1: ‘Publish’
It’s no secret that I have long been working towards getting a book out there. In fact I’ve been talking about it for literally *years*. And because I seem to have an allergic reaction to sitting-down-and-writing-a-book, life instead offered me a regular column in the Focus Magazine, where I get to write one chapter each month.
Sorted, yeah?
Well, no. Because although I’ve now got something like 70 of these all lined up, there’s the little matter of *actually* turning them into an *actual* book.
Which is why I’ve joined a 9 month book-publication course, that has a great track record of getting people’s works out of their heads and into the stores.
So 2026 looks like it will be the year my book is finally **published**. (Ironically, there’s a weight that comes *off* as I type that – it’s always felt inevitable, and now I’m actually doing something concrete about it! The hardest part was making the decision to join the course.)
## Word 2: ‘Pollinate’
This was the most straightforward of my three words, conceptually, but then I made it really awkward by cottoning on to the idea that I could be clever and funny by having three ‘P’ words (d’you see what I did there? 😉).
So this one signifies **growth**. I launched the Daily Reminders website at the back end of last year and now it’s time to get it into the hands of more people. Nice and straightforward, as a direction to go in. (I’m hoping not *too* straightforward for this particular word – we shall see, by the end of the year, whether it was specific and action-focused enough.)
## Word 3: ‘Pedal’
Last year I had probably my best year’s cycling since I gave up racing, 15 or so years ago. I got stronger, I got faster and I undertook some rides that genuinely fell into the category of the much misused adjective ‘[epic](https://www.strava.com/activities/14955302969?ref=gilespcroft.com).’
And yet, come October, I ‘fell off the wagon’, so to speak, and didn’t ride for practically three months! Getting the new website up and running became an 18-hour-a-day task and cycling just fell off the priorities list.
My fitness plummeted:
[](https://www.strava.com/athletes/1617698?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The ‘little orange line’ in [Strava](https://www.strava.com/athletes/1617698?ref=gilespcroft.com), that it’s so easy to become a slave to. You can see, I got back on the bike recently. The work begins!
And while I have at least one cycling related goal in mind this year (my regular [4-day tour with the boys](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-it/)) rather than make this one all about outcome, I’ve clocked that the most important measure for a good-year’s-cycling is consistency.
Therefore, it doesn’t really matter what I’m doing, so long as I **pedal**.
## How about you?
So there you are. My three words. I’ve only been using them for 24 hours or so and it’s been fruitful already. Little mini decisions or procrastination-points:
> *Which of my three words is this fulfilling?*
It took literally 10 minutes to come up with them, commit them to memory and write them out on a post it note for my computer screen.
I recommend you do the same. Nothing onerous, just a little guiding light for you; something that taps into your authentic desires for the year, and keep you on the straight and narrow.
What's important to you?
Then when you’ve done it, come back here and let us know what they are, in the comments below.
💟
Giles
### Related
[My 3 Words for 2026 - chrisbrogan.comSince 2006, I’ve promoted a kind of planning exercise for every year based around the idea that I call #my3words. It came to me when I realized that having one words as a way to set my intentions for the year was quite limited. Instead, I wanted at least three “points” by which I mightchrisbrogan.com -chrisbrogan](https://chrisbrogan.com/my-3-words-for-2026/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Here’s the original article if you want to procrastinate by reading the full low down on how to choose and write out three little words 😉
### The 12 Days of Hafiz (dedicated site) 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-12-days-of-hafiz/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T22:01:11.000Z
**Premium 🔖 Written & Audio Content*
More than 600 years ago, the Shiraz-born Persian poet *Shams al-Dīn Muḥammad Ḥāfeẓ*, (‘Hafiz’) was sharing poetry that will seem remarkably familiar to anyone acquainted with the Innate Health/3 Principles/Inside-Out understanding.
Although penned originally in Farsi and mostly likely delivered in song, there exist ‘renderings’ of these poems, across several books written by the 20th Century American poet [Daniel Ladinsky](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel%5FLadinsky?ref=gilespcroft.com).
Interpreted with humour and the aim of being *“faithful to the living spirit of Hafiz”* there is much to learn from these metaphors of the interplay between the divine and our humanity.
[](https://www.danielladinsky.com/books?ref=gilespcroft.com)
All of my sources. Please buy the books!
©️
**I obtained permission to reproduce the poems from the author, Daniel Ladinsky, and he holds the copyright for all of them. You can find his books on his website:* [**https://www.danielladinsky.com/books*](https://www.danielladinsky.com/books?ref=gilespcroft.com) *and they're published by Penguin, so widely available for purchase.*
In ***The 12 Days of Hafiz*** each Christmas I explore some favourites, to get a deeper appreciation for, and have a felt experience of what Hafiz calls ‘The Friend.’
🎁
This page is my Gift to all the Hafiz-lovers out there. It brings together all the ****poems** I've shared with the Daily Reminders mailing list over the years, along with my 3 Principles-related ****reflections** for each one, and—new for 2025—retrospective ****audio recordings** of all of them, and an ****Audiobook** of all the poems.
Each card below will take you to the original entry, where you'll find:
- A poem
- A reflection
- An audio
Enjoy – I hope these poems will keep you ‘happy and warm’ when the days and nights are cold.
🧡
Giles
### Get the Audiobook, below!
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 12: This Place Where You Are Right Now
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-12/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:07:13.000Z
> **THIS PLACE WHERE YOU ARE**
> **RIGHT NOW**
> *This place where you are right now,*
> *God circled on a map for you.*
> *Wherever your eyes and arms and heart can move*
> *Against the earth and sky,*
> *The Beloved has bowed there—*
> *Our Beloved has bowed there knowing*
> *You were coming.*
> *I could tell you a priceless secret about*
> *Your real worth, dear pilgrim,*
> *But any unkindness to yourself,*
> *Any confusion about others,*
> *Will keep one*
> *From accepting the grace, the love,*
> *The sublime freedom*
> *Divine Knowledge always offers to you.*
> *Never mind, Hafiz, about*
> *The great requirements this path demands*
> *Of the wayfarers,*
> *For your soul is too full of wine tonight*
> *To withhold the wondrous Truth from this world.*
> *But because I am so clever and generous,*
> *I have already clearly woven a resplendent lock*
> *Of His tresses*
> *As a remarkable truth and gift*
> *In this poem for you.*
> *This place where you are right now,*
> *God circled on a map.*
> *And wherever, dear, you can move against*
> *This earth and sky,*
> *The Beloved has bowed there,*
> *Knowing,*
> *Knowing you were coming.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"This Place Where You Are Right Now" from **A Year with Hafiz*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2011\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Hafiz on acceptance
On my desk, next to my computer where I work, stand two greetings cards. They serve as reminders to me, to ‘not sweat the small stuff’ – which of course translates into letting go of my identification with the content of my thinking, and to relax into presence, once more.
The first is a funny little one that my wife gave me on my 50th birthday. It simply reads:
> *“Relax. Nothing is under control.”*
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 11: A Cushion For Your Head
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-11/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:06:36.000Z
> **A CUSHION FOR YOUR HEAD**
> *Just sit there right now*
> *Don't do a thing*
> *Just rest.*
> *For your separation from God,*
> *From love,*
> *Is the hardest work*
> *In this*
> *World.*
> *Let me bring you trays of food*
> *And something*
> *That you like to*
> *Drink.*
> *You can use my soft words*
> *As a cushion*
> *For your*
> *Head.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"A Cushion For Your Head" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Life's got you
Here it is, the Hafiz poem that’s [not by Hafiz](https://www.gilespcroft.com/we-need-to-talk-about-hafiz/).
It’s certainly one of Ladinsky’s finest and has probably already lulled you into a sense of deep relaxation, but let’s see if we can peel away another layer, so it hits even harder, when you read it again.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 10: In A Tree House
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-10/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:06:13.000Z
> **IN A TREE HOUSE**
> *Light*
> *Will someday split you open*
> *Even if your life is now a cage,*
> *For a divine seed, the crown of destiny,*
> *Is hidden and sown on an ancient, fertile plain*
> *You hold the title to.*
> *Love will surely bust you wide open*
> *Into an unfettered, blooming new galaxy*
> *Even if your mind is now*
> *A spoiled mule.*
> *A lifegiving radiance will come,*
> *The Friend's gratuity will come—*
> *O look again within yourself,*
> *For I know you were once the elegant host*
> *To all the marvels in creation.*
> *From a sacred crevice in your body*
> *A bow rises each night*
> *And shoots your soul into God.*
> *Behold the Beautiful Drunk Singing One*
> *From the lunar vantage point of love.*
> *He is conducting the affairs*
> *Of the whole universe*
> *While throwing wild parties*
> *In a tree house—on a limb*
> *In your heart.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"In A Tree House" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Awakening is inevitable
The first time I sat and reflected on this poem, I arrived at the conclusion of:
> *Take hope!*
Which is nice. And comforting. And maybe understandable, given how we know that we get stuck in patterns of thinking.
But I think there’s a deeper message here; something that *doesn’t* rely on us clinging to the belief that ‘tomorrow will be better’ (something we’ve [explored before](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-living-life-now/)).
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 9: Venus Just Asked Me
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-9/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:05:52.000Z
> **VENUS JUST ASKED ME**
> *Perhaps*
> *For just one minute out of the day,*
> *It may be of value to torture yourself*
> *With thoughts like,*
> *“I should be doing*
> *A hell of a lot more with my life than I am—*
> *Cause I'm so damn talented.”*
> *But remember,*
> *For just one minute out of the day.*
> *With all the rest of your time,*
> *It would be best*
> *To try*
> *Looking upon your self more as God does.*
> *For He knows*
> *Your true royal nature.*
> *God is never confused*
> *And can see Only Himself in you.*
> *My dear,*
> *Venus just leaned down and asked me*
> *To tell you a secret, to confess*
> *She's just a mirror who has been stealing*
> *Your light and music for centuries.*
> *She knows as does Hafiz,*
> *You are the sole heir to*
> *The King.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Venus Just Asked Me" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Don't be so hard on your self
The new year is approaching and with it comes a whole bunch of mind- and societally-created ideas of fresh starts and new ventures; resolutions to do this or that, or to *stop* doing this or that.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 8: And Acting So Cool
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-8/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:05:29.000Z
> **AND ACTING SO COOL**
> *The whole world just got thick*
> *Again with*
> *God.*
> *And everywhere I look*
> *Makes me feel very proud*
> *That all the objects and creatures*
> *Can remain looking*
> *So poised*
> *And acting so cool*
> *While keeping the Great Secret*
> *So well,*
> *And not blissfully shout*
> *All day long the Reality*
> *I Am—*
> *I Am the Wine!*
> *The whole universe just got stoned*
> *Out of its mind again*
> *On the Beauty*
> *Of God.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"And Acting So Cool" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2006\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Find your own way
Hafiz isn't beating around the bush with this one – it's a full-on, God-adoring, love-fest.
Which I think would have unsettled me a bit, in the past. But there's something to see here, in these poems; something that can bring it all home.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 7: Deepening The Wonder
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-7/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:05:09.000Z
> **DEEPENING THE WONDER**
> *Death is a favor to us,*
> *But our scales have lost their balance.*
> *The impermanence of the body*
> *Should give us great clarity,*
> *Deepening the wonder in our senses and eyes*
> *Of this mysterious existence we share*
> *And are surely just traveling through.*
> *If I were in the Tavern tonight,*
> *Hafiz would call for drinks*
> *And as the Master poured, I would be reminded*
> *That all I know of life and myself is that*
> *We are just a midair flight of golden wine*
> *Between His Pitcher and His Cup.*
> *If I were in the Tavern tonight,*
> *I would buy freely for everyone in this world*
> *Because our marriage with the Cruel Beauty*
> *Of time and space cannot endure very long.*
> *Death is a favor to us,*
> *But our minds have lost their balance.*
> *The miraculous existence and impermanence of*
> *Form*
> *Always makes the illumined ones*
> *Laugh and sing.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Deepening The Wonder" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## *This* life, is short
The spirit of Hafiz, as rendered in these poems from Daniel Ladinsky, evokes in me such a deep sense of *knowing,* that I feel safe in letting these words shape my life.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 6: One Of The Dumbest Things You Can Do
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-6/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:04:50.000Z
> **ONE OF THE DUMBEST THINGS**
> **YOU CAN DO**
> *One of the dumbest things you can do*
> *Is backbite an animal,*
> *Or a human being.*
> *Reason is:*
> *Besides the fact that an animal*
> *Who is feeling grouchy that day*
> *Might bite you back ...*
> *Whenever you speak ill of*
> *Any living creature*
> *Something of their shadow might fall*
> *On you.*
> *Some unwanted impressions of theirs*
> *Could spill on*
> *Your floor,*
> *And I imagine*
> *You are busy enough*
> *Trying to keep things*
> *Tidy.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"One Of The Dumbest Things You Can Do" from **A Year with Hafiz*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2011\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Relationship advice from Hafiz
There’s every chance that by now you’ll have spent an un-usual bit of time with those nearest and dearest to you and, given that one doesn’t choose one’s kin, nerves may be fraying.
If that happens to be the case, let’s see how Hafiz suggests we should remedy this…
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 5: Rewards For Clear Thinking
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-5/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:04:28.000Z
> **REWARDS FOR CLEAR THINKING**
> *Think about this for a second:*
> *God (being God), having Infinite Knowledge,*
> *Not only knew your every thought and action*
> *Your life would ever experience*
> *(Even before you were born)*
> *But He also, being the Divine Creator,*
> *Has etched every moment of your existence*
> *With His own hand*
> *With the precision and care*
> *No artist ever could.*
> *Think about this for a moment:*
> *I have never heard a bird or the sun*
> *Ever say to God,*
> *I am sorry.*
> *There seems to be a great reward*
> *For clear thinking:*
> *All existence is a pawn in the Friend's hands.*
> *Look, one gets wings and gifts to the world*
> *Music each morning;*
> *One turns into such an extraordinary light*
> *He actually becomes a sustainer of a whole planet,*
> *One makes a thousand moons go mad with love*
> *And blush all night.*
> *When one can surrender the illusion, the crutch, of*
> *Free will,*
> *Though still live—for the benefit of others—*
> *The highest of moral*
> *Codes.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Rewards For Clear Thinking" from *The Gift*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 1999\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Hafiz on free will
Oh my word, the *juiciest* of poems, as Hafiz takes on this thorny issue with his usual aplomb, and wit.
This sort of content in the past I’d have plonked firmly in the ‘too out there’ bucket and moved on to something less challenging to my poor intellect.
But I want you to relax into this one with me, so let’s see what we can see.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 4: A Golden Compass
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-4/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:04:07.000Z
> **A GOLDEN COMPASS**
> *Forget every idea of right and wrong*
> *Any classroom ever taught you*
> *Because*
> *An empty heart, a tormented mind,*
> *Unkindness, jealousy and fear*
> *Are always the testimony*
> *You have been completely fooled!*
> *Turn your back on those*
> *Who would imprison your wondrous spirit*
> *With deceit and lies.*
> *Come, join the honest company Of the King's beggars—*
> *Those gamblers, scoundrels and divine clowns*
> *And those astonishing fair courtesans*
> *Who need Divine Love every night.*
> *Come, join the courageous*
> *Who have no choice*
> *But to bet their entire world*
> *That indeed,*
> *Indeed, God is Real.*
> *I will lead you into the Circle*
> *Of the Beloved's cunning thieves,*
> *Those playful royal rogues—*
> *The ones you can trust for true guidance*
> *Who can aid you*
> *In this Blessed Calamity of life.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"A Golden Compass" from **I Heard God Laughing*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2006\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Your guide inside
*“Be in touch with your feelings!”* – said Giles, loads, over the years.
And look, here's Hafiz, agreeing with me, when he says: *“a tormented mind… is the testimony you have been completely fooled!”*
And what do we do when we notice that we're off-track like this?
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 3: It Cuts The Plow Reins
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-3/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:03:51.000Z
> **IT CUTS THE PLOW REINS**
> *What does Purity do?*
> *It cuts the plow reins.*
> *It frees you from working and dining*
> *In the mud.*
> *It frees you from living behind*
> *A big ox*
> *That is always breaking wind.*
> *What can Purity do, my dear?*
> *It can lift your heart*
> *On a rising, bucking Sun*
> *That makes the soul hunger*
> *To reach the roof of Creation.*
> *It offers what the whole world wants—*
> *Real Knowledge and Power.*
> *It offers what the wise crave—*
> *The priceless treasure of Freedom.*
> *Pure Divine Love is no meek priest*
> *Or tight banker.*
> *It will smash all your windows*
> *And only then throw in the holy gifts.*
> *It will allow you to befriend*
> *Life and light and sanity—*
> *And not even mind waking*
> *To another day.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"It Cuts The Plow Reins" from **I Heard God Laughing*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2006\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## What's on offer
Again, Hafiz isn't necessarily promising us a *smooth* ride on the path to enlightenment—windows are getting smashed!—but the rewards are beyond our wildest dreams, and anything that religion or mere worldly treasures could offer.
Reading this, I'm reminded of a line from an old Syd Banks audio, where he says:
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 2: And Applaud
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-2/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:58:29.000Z
> **AND APPLAUD**
> *Once a young man came to me and said,*
> *“Dear Master,*
> *I am feeling strong and brave today,*
> *And I would like to know the truth*
> *About all of my—attachments.”*
> *And I replied,*
> *“Attachments?*
> *Attachments!*
> *Sweet Heart,*
> *Do you really want me to speak to you*
> *About all your attachments,*
> *When I can see so clearly*
> *You have built, with so much care,*
> *Such a great brothel*
> *To house all of your pleasures.*
> *You have even surrounded the whole damn place*
> *With armed guards and vicious dogs*
> *To protect your desires*
> *So that you can sneak away*
> *From time to time*
> *And try to squeeze light*
> *Into your parched being*
> *From a source as fruitful*
> *As a dried date pit*
> *That even a bird*
> *Is wise enough to spit out.*
> *Your attachments! My dear,*
> *Let's not speak of those,*
> *For Hafiz understands the sufferings*
> *Of your heart.*
> *Hafiz knows*
> *The torments and the agonies*
> *That every mind on the way to Annihilation in the Sun*
> *Must endure.*
> *So at night in my prayers I often stop*
> *And ask a thousand angels to join in*
> *And Applaud,*
> *And Applaud*
> *Anything,*
> *Anything in this world*
> *That can bring your heart comfort!”*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"And Applaud" from **I Heard God Laughing*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2006\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Looking in a different direction
This poem always makes me chuckle, because I can clearly see a former version of Giles—‘a young man’!—in its verses.
I was definitely concerned with my ‘attachments’ – and insecurities, problems, limitations, failings… they all seemed desperately important at one point in my life, and I spent a long time praying at the altar of ‘personal development’ trying to be a ‘better’ version of myself.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 1: I Cherish Your Ears
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-1/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:58:08.000Z
Over the holidays, I'm going to share a poem a day with you, inspired by the writings of my favourite Persian poet, Hafiz, followed by a poem reflection from me – exploring how I see each one relating to the Innate Health understanding.
And so, my friend…
> **I CHERISH YOUR EARS**
> *Dear pilgrim,*
> *I love your shoes, your coat*
> *Your pants, your hat, your furry head,*
> *Your cup, your bowl,*
> *Your messy closets,*
> *And most of all—I cherish your cute ears.*
> *Why? Don't ask!*
> *Just speak what you love about me.*
> *Come closer if you are feeling*
> *A little timid today*
> *Or dense*
> *Because surely you would find something*
> *Very endearing about*
> *Hafiz.*
> *Then*
> *We can pass many years*
> *Talking so silly,*
> *Like two highly advanced aspirants—*
> *Like two emancipated holy vagrants*
> *Who are sharing His Bottle*
> *Of Truth*
> *And feeling so damn good*
> *And Drunk and Free.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"I Cherish Your Ears" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## What we're here for
We shall be playing out a mystical drama for the next 12 days: you will take the role of the pilgrim and I shall be your guide.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### We need to talk about Hafiz
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/we-need-to-talk-about-hafiz/
Last updated: 2026-01-27T00:24:08.000Z
My love affair with the poetry of Hafiz began six years ago. There's a folder on my computer, full of screenshots of his poems I'd found online, dated 7th December 2019, and then apparently that very same day I bought three of the four most popular compendiums of his work. I bought the fourth, just six days later.
A thirst I was hell-bent on quenching, it seems! 🥵
I'd come across the 3 Principles and my life had changed beyond recognition just over one year previously, and it took me that long to want to immerse myself utterly in these little love letters.
(In a way, this was a prelude to the Daily Reminders.)
## The ‘G’ word
I first heard of Hafiz from one of my mentors, Jamie Smart. He'd often relate *A Cushion For Your Head* to an audience, and while I liked the overall sentiment—*“Don't do a thing, just rest”*—at first I was put off a bit by the use of ‘God’ in it.
At the time, it felt like I had a complicated relationship with ‘God’ and I didn't really see the need to be bringing religion into these funny, insightful, spiritual poems.
And then as I read more, I started to get it. In a way, Hafiz helped me to ‘get my head round’ the [idea of religion as a whole](https://www.gilespcroft.com/isnt-this-just-another-religion/) and make peace with the ‘G’ word.
Because I realised he wasn't referring to some judgemental *being—*the God I'd grown up with*—*he was just talking about the energy of life itself. (‘Universal Mind’ in 3 Principles terms.)
The thing that beats your heart and heals wounds and entire bodies, in spite of the things us doctors do. (And the thing that produces these words, let's face it.)
I'm really grateful to Hafiz for that, but if we're going to read more, there are a couple of uncomfortable truths we need to face.
## You say Hāfez, I say Hafiz
Let's get the obvious one out of the way, first. It's the Western world that has adopted the name ‘Hafiz’ (that you'll hear me pronounce “Ha-feez”) when in reality it's Hāfez (pronounced “Haa\-fez).
So there's that. (I shall continue to say “Ha-feez” because it's muscle memory now, I'm really sorry.)
But the next misconception blew me away. Because when you're busy waxing lyrical about how much you love Hafiz poetry, unless you speak actual Farsi and are something of a scholar of 14th Century Persian mysticism, then you're not reading Hafiz at all.
😳
His lyrics (for they are to be accompanied by music) are impossible to translate into English, and have meanings that exist only in rhythm and timbre that emerge when performed, having no equivalence in our language.
Many words used have double, triple, sometimes *quadruple* meanings, are infused with mystic connotations from the times, and there's actually a mathematical structure to many of his *rubā‘īyāt* or *ghazals.*
So there's that, too.
## No such thing as Santa
The real kicker, though, is that if you're reading from any of the popular Hafiz texts ‘translated’ by Daniel Ladinsky—which are the sources of exquisite beauty I use exclusively; *and* what you'll find peppered across the internet—they are literally *nothing* to do with the Persian, Hāfez-penned mystical poetry so beloved by Iranians.
😵💫
How do I know this?
Well, firstly, in my quest to gain a deeper appreciation of his work, in advance of running my own *Hafiz & Innate Health* course, I attended a webinar devoted to his *Divān*, that was put on by one of the aforementioned scholars of 14th Century Persian mysticism.
And when I asked whether the humour and irreverence of the Ladinsky ‘renditions’ was an accurate reflection of the original works, I was practically booted off the call!!
Secondly, the non-Persian speaking American poet Ladinsky himself—the very guy whose name appears as the ‘Translator’ on the fronts of his books—has said so, claiming instead to have been visited by Hāfez in a dream, and making it very clear that:
> *…my poems are not ‘translations’ in any traditional sense. They are not intended to be literal or scholarly or even ‘accurate.’*
There *is* no Hafiz poem entitled *‘A Cushion For Your Head’* – only a Ladinsky one, written ‘in the spirit of Hafiz.’
💁🏻♂️
If you want to read around this yourself, you should visit Daniel Ladinsky's website (‘[*My Portrait of Hafiz*](https://www.danielladinsky.com/about?ref=gilespcroft.com)’) and also maybe read this somewhat hacked-off blog post from a Persian commentator: *‘*[*Fake Hafez: How a supreme Persian poet of love was erased*](https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2020/6/14/fake-hafez-how-a-supreme-persian-poet-of-love-was-erased/?ref=gilespcroft.com)*’.* Finally, there's an essay from another writer who practically broke himself attempting the feat, detailing all the reasons why it's impossible: *‘*[*On Not Translating Hafez*](https://cat.middlebury.edu/~nereview/25-1-2/Davis.html?ref=gilespcroft.com)*’*.
## Permission slip
I'm sorry if I've somewhat broken the spell – it's a bit like learning that Santa isn't real, all over again, isn't it? 😫
But I wanted to be up front with you on this one, because we're about to launch into another [**12 Days of Hafiz**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-12-days-of-hafiz/), where I shall be truly ‘getting into the spirit of Hafiz’, sharing some more of Ladinsky's poems and giving you my own take on what they mean and how they relate to the Innate Health understanding.
I have also addressed the potential fly in the ointment: copyright.
I've always been a bit baffled as to how so much of Ladinsky's poetry is freely available on other people's websites, in written, audio *and* video form – is that not illegal?!
For a while I thought I'd just chance it, but I'm a goody two-shoes at heart, and had an attack of conscience at the eleventh hour. I decided that since I'd be putting content up on my new website, I should play by the letter of the law and not share someone else's work, verbatim.
And then at the eleventh-and-a-halfth hour, I decided to take a punt and contacted him directly, setting out my plans and casting myself at his mercy: pleeeeeeease could I use them, for general discussion and enlightenment purposes??
🙏🏻
And I got a Yes! 🙌🏻
## The 12 Days of Hafiz
So, as I take a little time off from writing over Christmas to spend time with my family (and maybe ride my bike a bit), we'll have another 12 of Daniel's poems that I've curated, examined, reflected on, written about *and* narrated for you, all coming up.
I can tell you now, it's a *feast!*
💟
Giles
### Scrooge does the 3Ps
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/scrooge-does-the-3ps/
Last updated: 2025-12-22T07:00:38.000Z
Today's Daily Reminder occurred to me while I was sat in a school hall watching my daughter's year put on their dramatic take of A Christmas Carol.
It was hearty fare, although I struggled to keep up a little bit. It's a big school and the noble aim of including every single pupil from her year, meant that there were something like four (maybe five?) different Scrooges – one of whom, by dint of seasonal sickness absences, was reduced to the voice of the drama teacher, wafting in ethereally from the front row.
All very on-message 👻
But somehow this melee of little mind-bodies shuffling around saying things quietly in front of us managed to convey the ‘Christmas spirit’ and suddenly one of the basic principles of my work reared its head, quite obviously:
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but ****insight**.
For look at Scrooge! He has the most *colossal* (and famous) life-change, right there in our living rooms each Christmas, without lifting a finger…
…and then come New Year we're all busy trying really hard to effect change in our lives, to become a better version of ourselves (Honestly, what are we like?!)
😂🤣
So relax. Given that insight generally strikes from a place of clarity and peace, putting your feet up and enjoying yourself might actually be *the* most effective way for you to see the changes you want to see!
In his own words:
> *“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the past, the present and the future. The spirits of all three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.”*
*Seeing* differently, leads to *being* differently.
Ho ho ho!
🎄
Giles
### Related
[Necessary ingredients for changeThe three things everybody needs, to get the change they want, whatever it is 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)
What's **actually* required.
### What Wayne Dyer got wrong
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-wayne-dyer-got-wrong/
Last updated: 2026-05-08T12:32:36.000Z
That got your attention, didn't it?!
😂
I'm sure for the aficionados, he's got many, *many* more killer quotes, but the one that really stuck with me, and that has made its way onto the podium of Giles’ all-time favourite quotes—and that I trot out regularly—is this one:
> ***“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”***
> \~ Wayne Dyer\*
OMG sooooo catchy! 😲
**\*The provenance of this quote had always been a bit up in the air – did Wayne Dyer say it, or was it Max Planck? I decided to take matters into my own hands and asked the people wot investigate these things, to investigate on my behalf, and here's what they found →* [**Quote Investigator results*](https://quoteinvestigator.com/2026/04/30/change-look/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Trouble is, there's a slight problem with that quote, isn't there?
In making it *that* memorable and hooky, it runs the risk of a mind hearing that and interpreting it as,
> *“Oh. I need to change the way I look at things. It's all my fault everything's so rubbish. And I just don't have the energy to be trying to reframe everything right now.”*
😔
Now I can’t go back in time and read Wayne’s mind, nor have I read all of his books or listened to all his audio programmes, but I’m guessing that’s *not* what he meant, when he said it.
Wayne Dyer was not a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist. He was a deeply spiritual man, who’d clearly seen a thing or two about the nature of reality.
And I bet if you’d had the chance to sit down and talk to him in depth about this saying, he’d have a much richer interpretation of it; maybe one that I'm not seeing.
These days however, the Giles Ego Construct 📦 is just about sure enough of its status, that I like to rephrase that quote as:
💬
When **the way you look at things changes,** the things you look at change.
Let's face it, it's not half as catchy, is it? (I can see why he said it the way he did.)
But for me, it's closer to the truth.
Because there is no ‘you’ there to intentionally change the way you look at things. (If there was, wouldn't we all have done it already?! 😆)
**You are the witnessing *of* change.**
And from my own experience and that of my clients (you'll have to get your own evidence) that change is more likely to happen when we're *not* identifying with a ‘self’ that makes out like it's in charge but isn't actually a thing!
Just reflect for a moment:
- **Good ideas** about a new direction → happens when the mind's not over-analysing
- **Fresh perspective** on a situation → happens when you're not thinking about it
- Putting out your **best work** → happens when you're ‘in flow’ (i.e. ‘you’/ego is not there)
You're not ‘doing’ any of this stuff… **You are the witnessing of it all happening**. (And then the mind's [observing and commentating](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/) on it all.)
So, although this may sound like absolute sacrilege, taken at face value, that Wayne Dyer quote is wrong.
Because ‘you’ don't change the way you look at things.
Although, things *do* change.
And that includes the way you look at change.
🤯
Giles
p.s. It's [Sunday](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/). These ones aren't *supposed* to ‘make sense’! 🤣
### Can you handle it?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/can-you-handle-it/
Last updated: 2025-12-20T07:00:03.000Z
We always try and have some family TV viewing on the go here at Croft Towers – a way for three busy people with totally separate work, school and social agendas to come together.
It has to be something we can all get behind, and ideally something that myself and Mrs Croft consider very loosely ‘educational’ for the girl. Life stuff, you know? An experience that's going to have you pausing every now and again, because it's sparked some revelation, or curiosity or analysis of the human condition.
Consequently, we're two-thirds of the way through 6 Seasons of [This Is Us](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5555260/?bypassRefViewPref=1&ref%5F=ttrv%5Fov%5Fstd&ref=gilespcroft.com) – a generational family drama with real emotional heft that covers pretty much every ‘issue’ going. Its brilliant, and if you're looking for your next 106-episode epic to settle into, look no further! 😂
There's a spoiler-free trailer for the series finale [you can watch here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE0c7FBvXZw&ref=gilespcroft.com), to get a taste, and I've picked that one because of what the dad, Jack, says at the end of it, to his three kids:
> *“Try and appreciate the moments. I mean, that's what we're doing – collecting these little moments. And we spend the rest of our lives looking back, trying to remember.”*
It's the kind of programme where it seems like one of the kids is *always* reminiscing about some nugget of wisdom imparted way back when, and it got me curious one bedtime, when I pondered out loud, *“I wonder which of my incessant ramblings you'll remember when I'm long gone?”*
🤔
Not really expecting an answer (or maybe something completely random, the likes of which could only come out of an 11yo mouth), I was therefore surprised when she came back with,
> *“The ‘can you handle it’ song!”*
Now this may have just been the [recency effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recency%5Fbias?ref=gilespcroft.com) at play (I think it got sung earlier that evening), but even so – the fact she doesn't actively hate it, I find to be very encouraging!
Because it only ever makes an appearance when one of us is in a low mood (and you know what minds are like, when it comes to [making connections](https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitious-thinking/) 😬).
## A song for the dark times
Anyone who's been around the Daily Reminders for longer than about 10 minutes will know that we don't experience life the way it *looks* like we do.
So while it may *seem* like it's situations and circumstances and emails and other people and money and work and family that ‘make us’ feel a particular emotion, it's not. The *entirety* of our felt experience—every last shred of it; 100%!—of life comes from within:
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality.
Which has *huge* implications when things don't turn out how we (*polite cough*: our Thought Systems 📦) want them to. Because it means that when we're getting upset about something, it's not the ‘something’ that's creating the upset, it's the mind's response *to* the something.
And when we're trying to be good little humans and **accept**, or **surrender** to life, again, it's [not the *situation* we're surrendering to](https://www.gilespcroft.com/accepting-non-peace/), it's whatever the mind's response *to* the situation is.
That's very different!
Seeing this one little quirk of nature will change your ***entire* *life***, so I come here to write about it every day and I'm *obviously* going to impart that crucial knowledge to my first-born, whom I love dearly. I see it as my [parental duty](https://www.gilespcroft.com/parental-duty/).
---
I can't remember exactly how it came about, but once, when my daughter was ‘responding poorly’ to something she had to do, I sensed there was a little room for manoeuvre and, in a lighthearted, silly mood myself, I started teasing her,
> *“Can you handle it, Crofty? Can you handle the way your mind's responding right now? Can you?! Can you handle it? Can you, can you, can yooooou??!”*
…and in that way that fresh new ideas tend to arise out of moments of presence, as she lightened up too, it morphed into a new song.
> *🎵*
> *Caaan you handle it?*
> *Caaan you handle it?*
> *Can you handle Jobert's reaction?*
(‘Jobert’ is the name she's [given her mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-names/) – it's *perfect* 😙👌🏻)
And it's stuck!
## Quid pro quo
We all have minds, which means we all have tantrums. I do, you do, your kids do. Us crafty adults have found ways to reflect our little tantrums inwardly (mostly!) but that doesn't mean we don't have them, so this whole notion of ‘can you handle it’ applies across the board.
And I've made it clear to my daughter, in those moments where the song's been *less* well received/outright rejected, that I am absolutely fine on being called out on my *own* mind BS any time it's spotted out in the wild. (In fact, I demand it!)
She's always a willing participant when the shoe's on the other foot.
> *“Can you handle it, Dad?”*
…she'll ask, with a cheeky grin, as she's doing something she knows winds up the Giles Ego Construct 📦 good and proper – and it usually slows me down enough to re-examine my beliefs in that moment and decide whether I want to:
1. carry on being serious and laying down the law, or
2. give in and accept the chaos.
🤷🏻♂️
---
It's important to reiterate that this isn't ‘handling it’ in the *feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway* sense of being able to handle any situation that comes along (although you can do that too, you're *awesome!*), it's very specifically ‘handling’ our mind's response to life's happenstance.
You're ‘handling’ that thought-created perceptual reality you're swimming in, right here in this moment, that's all.
And you *can* do it. I know you can, because we all can.
And that, my friend, is how you transmute suffering… into peace.
💝
Giles
p.s. when you're creating your own little can-you-handle-it song, it doesn't have to be a masterpiece, ok?
### Mentioned above
[Mind namesThat time my daughter gave the whole family’s Ego Constructs their own names! 📦The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-names/)
A classic.
### When you're ready
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-youre-ready/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T15:35:39.000Z
Sometimes, hearing another person's change story is one of the most effective ways of jump-starting our own.
Because of this…
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind.
…any time our attention is *not* on our selves (little ‘s’ there 📦) and the issues it is generating, this creates a space for common sense, wisdom and perspective to sneak in under the radar, and start the healing.
It's why I tell stories and share metaphors. Because we're *always* trying to bypass the mind. *#ThinkLessLiveMore*
(🤫 *Shhhhh, don't tell it, ok?!?!)*
Anyway I was listening to an audiobook by George Pranksy. [The Secret to Mental Health](https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Secret-to-Mental-Health-Audiobook/B0CSL7VJBQ?ref=gilespcroft.com), it's called. It's a great little mish-mash of mental health-focused Syd stories, 3 Principles theory, metaphors and case histories.
It was one of the latter that really blew me away, because it put into words something I've seen with my own clients, time and again.
## Healing from trauma
‘Jennifer’ had suffered an extremely traumatic event—a sexual assault—and was really struggling with flashbacks, anxiety, and insomnia. Despite two years of standard counselling, there was no improvement.
This little vignette of Innate Health coaching that George tells, is the source of a line [I've shared previously](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-job-vs-your-job/), where he reassures an understandably nervous and skeptical Jennifer about both of their roles in the healing process:
> *“I'm going to help you learn how to forget. Your job is to want to forget.”*
(I could not love that more 😍)
Anyway, she has 12 sessions, all the symptoms go away completely, she's very grateful for the miracle and gets on with her life with her family.
But then…
## ‘Relapse’
She has occasion to drive past the location of the crime and has an unexpected flashback. She thought she was done with it all, but the memory returned. What was wrong? Had it not worked? Was she not healed?
💔
I see this with clients, especially when working from an Innate Health perspective.
That work has absolutely *nothing* to do with examining the bad stuff that has happened in someone's life, and *everything* to do with understanding how we experience the world, and who we *are*, underneath the noise of experience.
Which is confusing to people at first because surely… *surely!* if something really bad has happened in the past, we need to get that out in the open, don't we? Stop it from festering. We need to talk it through, isn't that the whole idea?
**No**, and **Yes**.
**No**, because it's terrifying and why would we encourage *anyone* to deliberately relive difficult, painful experiences—to actively harm themselves with their own thinking!—in the name of ‘treatment’?! 😱
That's like trying to settle a snow globe by shaking it really hard! Frankly, I find encouraging someone to wilfully resurface deeply painful memories to be barbaric, and it's definitely not what I'm about.
And yet at the same time… **Yes**, because it's the resisting, the constant running away from, the *fear* of the resurfacing of deeply painful memories, that keeps people stuck.
## The necessary first step
To me it's just so logical and sensible to help people *first* understand how all of this is actually being *experienced*; how the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com) work to deliver our ‘reality’ to us via Thought, moment by moment.
To *not* help someone who's suffering to see the truth behind this quote:
> *“Thought, in and of itself, is harmless.”*
> \~ Richard Carlson
…is totally irresponsible!!
So it's a necessary first step (and second, and third, and fourth…) but it doesn't mean that the mind won't ever furnish us with scary stories from the past again.
Indeed, I am always careful to set the context for any ‘restorative’ work that I do with people, whether it's 1:1 or in a group setting, because *anything can happen!*
Nobody knows how the mind-body is going to respond (I was emotionally very labile, when I first had insights around the Principles), but however it does, it's all part of the natural healing process. Crucially:
⌛
We'll have whatever thoughts and memories we'll need to have—in order to heal—****when we're ready**.
---
Years ago, when I was feeling my way into all this, I took on a coach of my own and the way he described the process of healing was quite beautiful:
> Like ascending a mountain via a path that spirals upwards. We revisit the same situations time and again, but from a much higher vantage point each time.
And that's been my experience of working with clients who are struggling with the past. You can't escape it, or deny it, and there's healing to be done, but *it's done by life*, not by us.
Healing from trauma is yet another example of the narrator-mind trying to take control of something it has absolutely naff-all to do with: the process of change.
Healing doesn't happen from a low or insecure state of mind; by analysing, or by ‘[trying](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/)’ to change our thoughts.
Rather, we find the memories that need confronting will arise *naturally*, when we're in a place, psychologically, where we're actually able to experience them and not be completely freaked out.
(In the book, Jennifer's unexpected re-living of the assault had evolved in her memory, and didn't seem half as scary as before; another thing that George reassured her about!)
But this only happens when people first have a grounded perspective on experience *in general* – clarity on how the psycho-spiritual human operating system works.
So yes, I too have witnessed apparent ‘relapses’ from clients who've had insights about the nature of thought, seen their quality of life drastically improve, only to unexpectedly re-experience traumatic memories again.
And when they ask me *“Why?”* my response is always the same:
> *“Because you're ready.”*
💝
Giles
p.s. If you've tried all the other approaches and are still struggling with past traumas, then when you're ready, let's say farewell to them, together, once and for all 💝
[Get Support From Me Now](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
### Book recommendation
[The Secret to Mental HealthCheck out this great listen on Audible.com. What if nothing is wrong with you but instead you have been living under the greatest misunderstanding of life...how your mind works? In this down to earth, easy to digest book, you will hear the story of Dr. George Pransky and how one meeting with one p…Audible.co.ukBy: George Pransky](https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/The-Secret-to-Mental-Health-Audiobook/B0CSL7VJBQ?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Trains of thought
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/trains-of-thought/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T00:04:21.000Z
> *“I love this analogy so helpful… over the last few years it has changed EVERYTHING for me.”* \~ Julie, UK
In yesterday's Daily Reminder, we looked at how particularly hurtful, repetitive thoughts and feelings can be understood, and alleviated, by thinking about [how clocks work](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-ticking-clock/). 🕙
It's a metaphor that came to mind while I was working with a client, who was experiencing a really sticky thought like this themselves. And while it really landed for them, it did lead to a question (a common one):
> *“How? *How* do I ignore thoughts like that?”*
Now, putting aside the fact that this is *exactly* how you would expect a mind—that [genuinely believes it's in charge](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/) and feels it has to *do* something—to respond, let's look at another helpful metaphor.
A practical one.
## ‘Trains of thought’
It's a saying we're all familiar with, isn't it? It signifies a succession of connected thoughts (and appeared in literature a full 100 years before trains were even a thing)! 😯
At the risk of mixing my metaphors here, one of my mentors describes thoughts like rabbits – put a couple of them together and before you know it, you've got loads! And this is what a negative train of thought can be like. There's a whole string of carriages connected. 🚂🚋🚋🚋🚋🚋
We have a thought, maybe one [we're quite familiar with](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-insert-topic-here-thought/), and before we know it, we're busy thinking about our thinking,
> *“Oh no, not again! Aaargh, what's wrong with me? Oh I'm sick of this. What should I do? Should I read something? Speak to someone about it? I need to get a handle on this don't I? Or some help. No, maybe I'll watch some TV/have a glass of wine/eat something…”*
…and on it goes.
**A train of thought.**
---
But what if we saw that literally as being on a train? Might that help?
It could look something like this:
We [notice from our feelings](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-are-anxious-feelings-telling-us/) that we're off-track and we think, *“Ooh, I'm on a train here, aren't I? A train of thought.”*
Now, because this train of thought is maybe one we're quite familiar with, we know *exactly* where it goes. It goes nowhere good.
So what do we do?
🏃♀️
****We get off.** We don't go there.
(This is as close to ‘[free will](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/free-will/)’ as I'm willing to go – think of it more as ‘free won't’ 😆)
Because as we [learned yesterday](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-ticking-clock/), “there are a kajillion *other* thoughts up for grabs, *all the time*” – in other words, there'll be another train; a different thought will be along shortly. Any thought.
But we have to get *off* the one we're on, first.
In fact, we can wait at the station instead, on the platform, watching all the trains come and go, aware that we can (and will) get on or off any of them at any time.
It's profoundly liberating.
## Will it cure everything?
Hey, never say never, but from experience, that's unlikely.
What it *will* do, is start improving things for you *immediately.*
(→ Whenever you do it, basically. Our entire experience is Thought, remember?)
And because you're human, you'll notice two more things:
1. You get off one train, and a couple of minutes later, you find that **you're on another one**, dammit! 🤨
(→ So you get off again.)
2. The trains often have a **comfortable familiarity** to them. Plush seating. Table service with nice food. ☺️
(→ But you remember that a First Class ticket to *Shitsville* still ultimately takes you to *Shitsville*… So you get off again.)
And because you're built to thrive, you'll notice this, too:
1. The more you do this, the **easier it gets**; you'll spend way more time at the station, **being**, on the platform; find yourself on far **fewer rubbish trains**, and get off those **a lot quicker**, when you do.
(→ Hey, maybe it *is* the cure for everything?)
😉
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Metaphor - The Daily RemindersUsing symbolic imagery to side-step the intellect and allow you to realise something of your True Nature 🎭The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/metaphor/)
Discover more cool metaphors on the Daily Reminders website
### The ticking clock
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-ticking-clock/
Last updated: 2025-12-18T13:00:08.000Z
Do you have a non-digital timepiece in the house, that ticks?
We do. It's this one, pictured. It's pretty loud and it lives in the lounge.
Tick. Tick. Tick, it goes. 60 times, every single minute that me and it are sharing the space.
And you know what?
I never hear it.
🙉
Reading this, you're not surprised, because you've had the same experience.
These things we take for granted, but there's so much to be *learned* from that – so much to be *seen*. So much potential for change!
## There, but no experience of it
So the ticking's definitely there, because when I listen for it, I find it.
(I lied when I said I ‘never’ hear it, obviously – minds love to work in [black & white](https://www.gilespcroft.com/variability-is-the-key/), and mine was exaggerating, for effect.)
But I'd say 95%, maybe even more of the time I'm in the lounge, it's just not a thing. In spite of the fact that it's there *all the time*.
You can say ‘I've tuned it out’, but *I* haven't done anything. This is not a conscious process!
What I think is closer to the truth is that while my senses are quite obviously picking it up—as I said, it never stops\*—the mind is not bringing it into consciousness for me. Which means it doesn't exist.
There's no experience of it. (And experience is all we get.)
Until you say, *“Much clock noise?”* or something, and I hear it immediately.
## Thought, too
I think thought is like this too. The more I learn about this crazy thing we call life, getting my own evidence (just like I'm always encouraging you guys to do) the more I'm convinced that the [mind is a receiver](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-mind-isnt-made-for-thinking/), not a transmitter.
So just like the tick of the clock is always there, waiting to be experienced, it's as if *all thoughts* are already there, too, waiting to be plucked out of that formless mass of energy we can't even measure with instruments.
And when they're plucked out, they're thought.
([Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) always used to talk about The Principle of Thought being the bridge between the formless and the form, and I get a little tickle of recognition when I hear him say that, these days.)
## What this means for you
Look, we all have crazy and/or repetitive thoughts. They get plucked out of the ether by these receiver-minds of ours and they might be pretty bad. (Michael Neill's was ‘[The Suicide Thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-insert-topic-here-thought/)’, before he decided to ignore it.)
And because minds are a bit lazy and those neural pathways get worn in (maybe the dial gets a bit rusted on the old ‘wireless receiver’), we often find ourselves experiencing the *same* thought, over and again. It might be:
- 📡 I can't do this
- 📡 Why am I like this?
- 📡 I think there might be something wrong with me
- 📡 The ‘others’ are my main problem
- 📡 I can't change
- 📡 This will [never](https://www.gilespcroft.com/buying-a-ticket-to-neverland/) change
…or any other of a kajillion insecure thoughts that minds like to pluck out of the ether. (Because they're all already there, in the potential – infinite thoughts! Thoughts for everyone!)
But if you can start to see them in the same sort of league as the ticking clock—sometimes it's in consciousness, most of the time it's not—and remember that there are a kajillion *other* thoughts up for grabs, *all the time,* then I think your life could get a whole lot easier, pretty damn quickly!
And the super-annoying ones?
Well, it's almost like taking the batteries out of those.
🪫
Giles
\*p.s. Of course it stops! (Black & white minds again 🙄) Once in a blue moon its battery does indeed run out and it can be days until I notice… because *I don't hear the clock!!* lol.
p.p.s. one of you most excellent boffins who's into your neuroscience will no doubt be along shortly to let us all know in the comments how they've already proved all this! 🤓
### Mentioned above
[The mind isn’t made for thinkingWhat if the mind’s not generating thought, but receiving it? The evidence is there… 🗼The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-mind-isnt-made-for-thinking/)
[The ‘insert topic here’ thoughtMinds are creatures of habit, so we \*all\* get ‘bad’ thoughts that tend to reoccur. You’re not alone 💞The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-insert-topic-here-thought/)
### Superstitious thinking
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/superstitious-thinking/
Last updated: 2026-09-05T08:24:38.000Z
> *“If you chase a pigeon away, it will come back and poop on your head!”*
Wisdom related to me by my daughter, stated as fact. It happened to a friend, see? *She* chased a pigeon away and it came back and pooped on her head.
As a 50-something grown up, with a lifetime's experience of being around pigeons, I must admit, I was a tad skeptical.
> *“You don't really believe that, do you?”*
She paused, to give the notion due consideration.
> *“Not really no, but it did happen!”*
No doubt. And so begins the wearing in of a little neural pathway.
🐦👐🏻💩🙀🧠
It's taken root in her mind enough for her to relate it to me.
I bet it's taken an even *stronger* hold in the mind of her friend – whose head actually got pooped on!!
And this silly little tale contains a salutary lesson for why it *might* look like your life's currently falling apart.
😳
## Myths and patterns
I don't know if I've said it before (😉) but the mind is a truly *wondrous* thing. It's so powerful and it's so goddamn *earnest*, that if we just let it run riot, without awareness, it gets up to all sorts of mischief.
So in this example, it could quite easily:
1. **Observe** something happening that it doesn't like, or that came with a strong negative emotion (e.g. pigeon poop on our heads)
2. Try and **figure out** *why* it happened, using the [very limited data](https://www.gilespcroft.com/working-on-limited-data/) it has at its disposal, at whatever tender age we are (e.g. 📦: *“Oh, it must be because I chased the pigeon away!”*)
3. **Create a story**, and then treat that **story as fact**, in order to avoid it happening again (e.g. 📦: *“I should be wary of / not chase pigeons”*)
It will then spend the rest of its days looking for **confirmatory evidence** of this trauma, to [prove itself right](https://www.gilespcroft.com/meetings-from-hell/).
🤷🏻♂️
It's pretty straightforward behaviour for a mind, and easy to see how these little personal myths (we call them ‘beliefs’ in the trade 😉) can become a real pattern.
> *But Giles, it's only pigeon poop! Why are you going on about it?!*
Because we're talking about [Principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/) here, and the exact same process has happened with *all* the superstitious beliefs that are holding you back.
#### So it's no different from:
1. The mind **observing** one school presentation or performance that went badly
2. **Concluding** it's to do with a lack of confidence – something you're clearly lacking
3. You spend the rest of **your life terrified** of public speaking, or just speaking up full stop. It becomes ‘just the way I am’ 😔
#### Or…
1. The mind **watches** something going wrong for you, and you then being told off, or warned that you should *“think these things through properly!”* by a figure of authority
2. It **confuses** common sense (and good old fashioned gaining-experience-through-making-mistakes!) with hesitance or a need for a feeling of certainty before taking action
3. You spend the rest of your life ‘being sensible’, **playing small**, not taking risks, planning obsessively, or just waiting in general… 😫
#### Or…
1. The mind **observes** you performing really well after a period of intense stress (exams, maybe – there'll be the ever yearned-for parental praise in the mix there too, won't there)?
2. It makes a **fallacious connection** between stress and performance
3. You can **never properly relax**, and you find yourself always leaving things until the last minute, to rack up unnecessary time-pressure, ‘in order to’ perform 😮💨
#### Or the classic…
1. The mind **examines your emotions** following a change in circumstance, cherry-picking the ones that suit its narrative (e.g. 📦: *“I did well to leave that situation, only good has come of it!”*)
2. It goes **absolute gangbusters** on the [outside-in illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/), firmly pinning your feelings onto situations and people and stuff – basically anything *other* than the Principle of Thought
3. You spend your **life running away** from anything that doesn't feel great, changing careers, partners, houses, even countries in an endless search for happiness outside of yourself 💔
(Or just numb it all with booze, fags, sex, shopping, gambling, exercise or meditation 😉😂)
I could go on all day because this one little thing—superstitious thinking—lies upstream of *all* the beliefs that are holding us back!
(And trust me, I can only tell you these things because I've been there. We all have. And to one degree or another, we all still do this—me included—it's what it is to be human!)
## How to break the cycle
This may seem a bit like an episode of Giles-does-therapy, but I honestly think that when you pair these little childhood links up with an understanding of the 3 Principles—that Thought creates our very reality, moment to moment, and is totally harmless—then **awareness is the key to unlock change**.
Because in all of these scenarios above, it's important to see that:
- None of this is ‘on you’ – it's not like you're doing any of this deliberately or anything
- There's no malice to the mind's responses – it [genuinely believes it's helping](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trauma-and-triggers/), otherwise it wouldn't be doing it
- There's seldom much, if any, truth to any of these beliefs – they arose out of one moment, long, long ago, where the mind did its best from where you were at, way back then.
You don't have to go delving into any of this stuff to try and change your superstitious beliefs, or replace them with different/better ones.
No, you see that these stories were never fact in the first place.
Big love for you today.
💗
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Trauma and triggersDeeply understanding the nature of our trauma responses is the end to their hold over us ❤️🩹The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trauma-and-triggers/)
Feedback on this one: **“This is maybe theeeeeee best thing I've read about trauma!!! Thank you! x*”
### Meetings from hell
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/meetings-from-hell/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T11:33:20.000Z
> *“This meeting is going to go badly.”*
Ever been in this situation? It's not the first time you've been here, the same meeting with the same people has gone badly before, so it stands to reason, yes?
You know their position (it's wrong); they know yours (but won't see it), and never the twain shall meet.
You prepare your arguments, take a deep breath and grit your teeth…
> *“Cover me – I'm going in!”*
**😮💨🚪⚔️**
But wait. Let's remember how minds work, for a moment.
It could help.
## 1\. Minds are very selective
On a macro level, in every moment, our senses are awash with more data than the mind-body can possibly handle. This vibrating mass of light-energy that we call life I suspect would melt our poor little brains, if we caught sight of its full majesty.
As Alan Watts once said:
[](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/track/ordinary-everyday-consciousness?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Why not set this in mind by [setting it to music](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/track/ordinary-everyday-consciousness?ref=gilespcroft.com)?
> *“The ordinary everyday consciousness that we have leaves out more than it takes in.”*
And for good reason! What we perceive is a *teeny-tiny* slice of that data, that's contextual to us, to survive as a species – what's called our ‘[umwelt](https://www.gilespcroft.com/lessons-from-the-animal-kingdom/)’.
And then, at a micro-level, we'll have our selective focus: the teeniest-tiniest *bit* of that teeny-tiny slice of ‘reality’ we're experiencing.
When we're really focused on one thing—again, necessarily—it's to the exclusion of all else. (We [watched a short video](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pattern-matching-relationships/) to demonstrate this, the other week.)
#### *What does this mean for your meeting?*
It means that there's a *lot* more going on than you're aware of! (And that's not a reflection on you, it's just basic principle.)
## 2\. Minds find what they're looking for
Another trait we've evolved, as a means of survival, is really good pattern-matching.
It's plausible that what started out as natural selection for humans who could spot the movement of predators on the savanna, has today evolved into our selection biases: we find what we're expecting to see (and miss what we're not).
I played a terribly naughty trick on my mum once, not setting out to prove this *per se*, but leveraging the fact, for my own amusement (🔗 ‘[Expectations and reality](https://www.gilespcroft.com/expectations-and-reality/)’), and magicians do a similar thing with misdirection.
So minds will go out of their way to prove themselves right, as will become immediately apparent when you spend anything longer than 0.05 seconds on social media.
#### *What does this mean for your meeting?*
Put these two together, and you can start to see why that whole *this-meeting-is-going-to-go-badly* mentality might not be in your best interests.
😬
#justsayin’
## Not just positive thinking
A common rejoinder for a mind at this point would be to brush this off as unrealistic, magical thinking:
> *“So you're saying I should just think happy thoughts in the meeting, and it'll turn out fine?! Get in the sea with you, and your woo-woo, Croft!”*
Simmer down at the back, there.
I mean, if we keep in mind point #2, then to go in there with a whole load of *positive* expectations on your pattern-matching mind's radar might not be such a bad idea after all, but I totally get your point.
At the end of the day, positive thinking is no different from negative thinking, because it's all just thinking. And [*trying*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/)to believe that something good is going to happen, when you've so much evidence to the contrary, is probably a bit of a non-starter.
But the magic really happens in these situations, when we're present.
Open.
---
Back when I was making a new career for myself in the weird and wacky world of ‘Health Informatics’ (a made-up mix of *anything* to do with health data management), I was occasionally sent to speculative, networky-type meetings by my boss.
When my introvert tendencies were in the ascendence, I disliked these intensely and saw them as a waste of time—a distraction from the ‘real work’ I was engaged in—and I definitely used to go into them with the old *this-meeting-is-going-to-go-badly* mentality fully activated.
And they usually did, thereby reinforcing my beliefs that they were a waste of time. 🤷🏻♂️
Eventually, I stopped doing that, for my own sanity, as much as anything else. But rather than try to put a positive spin on it all (which was just as much of a non-starter to a cynical Giles), I chose the middle way – the one most closely aligned with reality.
I accepted that I didn't *know* what was going to happen, and did my best to go in to those meetings with as few expectations as possible.
Present. Open.
And when I'd got a bit of evidence for myself that this wasn't such a bad experience after all, I upgraded that to the mildest of expectations that something unexpected, unusual or exciting might happen in one of these meetings.
And you know what?
It usually did!
Minds are powerful like that.
---
I'm not saying that this is the cure to all of your work woes.
And I'm not saying that you [*should*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) (🚩) do anything as a result of reading this.
I'm just pointing to the principles behind how we experience the world (and the workplace; and others) so that you can [work *with* the mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/) in these situations, not be pulled hither and thither by it, blindly.
Think less. Live more.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Expectations and realityThat one time I leveraged the power of the 3 Principles to play a scandalously mean trick on my mum 😂The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/expectations-and-reality/)
Naughty Giles 🐒
### Wisdom is not the opposite of doubt
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-is-not-the-opposite-of-doubt/
Last updated: 2025-12-14T07:00:05.000Z
Here's a little [Sunday](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/) thought for you to marinate in today.
Because we have moments of doubt, don't we? Whether we're [making decisions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/decision-making/), or [changing career](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/careers/), or just engaged in everyday [parenting](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/parenting/) of our kids – it's almost like there's this little voice in the backs of our heads, whispering,
> 📦 🗣️ *“Am I doing the right thing?”*
And it's very easy to see doubt as ‘bad’ – as if it's a sort of deficiency. There's a bit of a subtext to doubt that goes something like,
> *“If I was more in tune with life energy/God/wisdom/intuition, I wouldn't have so many doubts. I'd just do stuff. Without doubting.”*
It's almost as if we feel like wisdom will *answer* our doubts; like it's the opposite of it, somehow. That it's there in the background, waiting to *answer* our doubts with encouragement:
✨
**“Yes! Yes – you* **are* *doing the right thing! Keep going!”*
## **Listen for wisdom**…
That's what they say, isn't it? And that's what this looks like: Less doubt. More wisdom.
It's like some spiritual game of pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, where wisdom's there, telling us we're warmer… colder… warmer… warmer! Yes! That's it!
📍🫏 🎯
But all of this is just meeting ‘doubt’ (i.e. an active Thought System 📦) on its own terms; trying to answer the questions and concerns that it raises, ‘using’ wisdom.
Once again, it's the mind innocently trying to settle things, by attempting to think its way out of a thinking problem, when all this really does is ‘[turn up the master volume](https://www.gilespcroft.com/turning-up-the-master-volume/)’ on the system, generating yet more noise.
🤦🏻♂️
Which is why you'll find that the more you try and escape from doubt, using wisdom as a tool… the more doubt you'll experience.
---
So here are the ingredients for your Sunday Spiritual marinade:
- **What if…** you don't have to ‘[trust wisdom](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-trouble-with-trusting-your-wisdom/)’?
- **What if…** you don't need there to be ‘less doubt’ before deciding, or moving forward?
- **What if…** ‘doubt’ is like all the other forms of thinking: harmless, and useless mind rubbish; safe to ignore?
Remember:
> *“An ignored guest quickly leaves.”*
> \~ Sri Yukteswar
Doubtless!
💟
Giles
### Related
[Turning up the master volumeTechniques for increasing self-confidence often have the opposite effect – here’s why ↩️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/turning-up-the-master-volume/)
So much of what we're taught to do, innocently reinforces the problem.
[The trouble with ‘trusting your wisdom’It really looks like ‘wisdom = good’ and ‘worry = bad’ … but is that really that case? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-trouble-with-trusting-your-wisdom/)
Another [Sunday Spiritual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/), if you're in that kind of mood
### It's never enough
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-never-enough/
Last updated: 2025-12-13T07:00:53.000Z
They're hungry little things, minds, aren't they?
I've noticed mine, asking for (demanding) more, recently.
It's been a spectacularly busy time, creating this home for the Daily Reminders, and I've had multiple project pieces to juggle. Lots of spinning plates. Dependencies. Contingencies. Managing scope creep. Quality assurance.
The sorts of things that used to leave me cold when my job title was *actually* ‘Project Manager’ but these days just make sense as part of doing what I was put on earth to do.
Go figure 🤷🏻♂️
Anyway, it means there have been lists. Lots of lists.
I have an app I use—[Things](https://culturedcode.com/things/?ref=gilespcroft.com), it's called—but when the chores really begin to rack up and there's more to do than I (feel like I) can handle, I'll revert to written lists.
Because if I'm going to go to the trouble of sourcing a suitable place to write it down, then thinking for long enough not to just write down any old shit that gets crumpled up and tossed in the bin, *and* then committing it to paper neatly, using my *actual* hand to grip an *actual* pen… then by jove, that task is *going* to get done!!
Even if it's days later… as it so often is.
## And here's what I've noticed
For me, at least: To Do lists are the very *pinnacle* of outside-in thinking. Because it really, really, ***really*** looks like how I feel is tied in to the To Do list.
It's another illusion [I just can't un-see](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/).
It *looks* like I feel ‘bad’ (a bit harried, not doing well, not really winning at life) while there are outstanding items on the list, or I'm ‘getting behind’.
(To be clear: that would be ‘getting behind’ as measured against a set of criteria that have been *completely* made up by the mind 🙄)
And it *looks* like I'll feel ‘good’ (sense of accomplishment, doing well, winning at life) when I've checked everything off the list.
Like I say, this one's as sticky as they come, for me. I've not found a way for it to *not* look like this.
(Believe you me, if I *had* found a way, I'd have shared it with you ages ago.)
😆
## But here's what else I've noticed
Today, a previously-planned To Do surfaced on the digital list.
> *Oh my word, that time, already?!* 😲
Upon seeing the To Do, the illusory cycle began immediately:
- *I can't feel good until it's done.*
- *It's a big job and there's no way I'll complete it all in one day*
- *I wonder when it will be done, because then I'll be able to relax and feel ok*
- *Oh dear lord, this is “*[*I'll be happy when…*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)*” all over again and I'm just as bad as everyone else is, I'm such a fraud!*
…that sort of malarkey.
I was being realistic – I knew it was a task that was going to take concerted effort over a few days, with lots of unknowns and new learning, so I committed to doing just *one* aspect of it; something that would really move it forward.
And then, because I'm as insane as the rest of you, for that one thing, I *un*\-realistically planned on doing *way* more than I thought I was actually capable of achieving in a day.
(Setting ourselves up to fail – why do we do this?! 😫)
But then, to my surprise I relaxed into the task almost immediately. Didn't procrastinate on it. Really enjoyed the process. It's actually a fun thing that I *want* to do (I realised) and several hours later, I had easily accomplished my large first step.
I was a bit gobsmacked to be honest, but the good thing was, looking through the lens of my outside-in To Do list-goggles, having done what I had planned to do (and more), it was now officially time to *feel good*, hurrah!! 🥳 🙌🏻
**Did I feel good, dear Reader?**
No. I did not.
The mind immediately said,
> 📦🗣️ *“You underestimated what you can achieve. You should crack on with the next bit, now.”*
FFS 😭
So here's your take home message from today's Daily Reminder:
⚠️
To a mind, it will ***NEVER** be enough.
And when I say “never,” I mean **it is the nature of minds to judge in this way**.
It's not something you can switch off.
## So what do we do?
- We become *aware* of it doing this.
- We *see* that this is the nature of the mind.
- We *accept* that this is always going to happen.
- We *know* that it doesn't mean diddly squat.
And we celebrate whatever the hell we want to celebrate, whenever the hell we want to celebrate it.
Because we're grown ups. Who like to have fun.
Me right now: 🥳 🙌🏻 🤩 🕺🏻😁
Giles
### Related
[The never-ending To Do listKnowing what the mind’s up to, when it comes to productivity, is (more than) half the battle. 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-never-ending-to-do-list/)
Companion piece. It's almost as if this is a recurring theme?!?! 🙄
### This is what we do
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-what-we-do/
Last updated: 2025-12-12T07:00:40.000Z
They say a picture paints a thousand words, which is why the other day, after having written 1,398 of the aforementioned words, talking about the insidious human trait of *‘*[*I'll be happy when…*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)*’,* I spent ages rifling through my daughter's Calvin & Hobbes books to find a suitable [visual metaphor](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-living-life-now/) for you, to make it more memorable.
Should have just waited.
Because of course, scrolling idly through twitter yesterday, I came across this – the simplest, most perfect image that sums it all up.
When I said, *“…a pithy little cartoon to depict this for you”* – **this** is exactly what I had in mind! (Although I've never seen it before. It's *almost* as if you switch your radar on for something, and it comes to you. 🤷🏻♂️)
I laughed out loud as soon as I saw it.
It's as memorable as they come.
It will stay with you, and surface in memory at just the right time – when you catch yourself doing it.
(You could even print it off and leave it somewhere, as a simple reminder.)
**This is what we do**; what we can spend an entire *life* doing, if we're not careful:
Nobody knows whence it came. But it's here now. For you. Acting as a warning.
That's it, right there. A cow. Expressing the human condition.
🐄
Giles
### Related
[Not living life, nowIf we spend all our time with our attention on that fabled ‘better tomorrow’, you know what we miss out on? 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-living-life-now/)
More simple than 1,398 words, but not as simple as this.
### It's ok to talk to your self
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-ok-to-talk-to-your-self/
Last updated: 2025-12-17T20:39:24.000Z
My wife forwarded on to me some interesting research that suggested it might be a good idea to talk to your self. And given that Me and the Giles Ego Construct 📦 go back a long way—a relationship that can get quite vocal at times—my ears pricked up!
Published in [Nature Journal](https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-04047-3?ref=gilespcroft.com), the researchers found that when people reflect on negative feelings in the third-person (i.e. using their name, rather than “I” language), it reduced emotional brain reactivity.
It was all done with fMRI brain scans and complicated-sounding things like ‘event-related brain potentials’ so its real-life application should be taken with a rather large pinch of salt, but the researchers got most excited because they think they've found an *easier* way to *regulate emotions*.
At the outset, they state,
> *Emotion regulation, as with many forms of self-control, is typically thought of as an effortful process that depends heavily on cognitive control mechanisms to muffle emotional responses.*
…which unless I'm wrong is their way of saying *“Life is hard! And you need to work hard at not feeling bad, people!!”* 🙄
(And what's with ‘muffling emotional responses’?! Whatever happened to ‘[It's ok to not be ok](https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-it-ok-to-not-be-ok/)’?!)
## So near and yet…
As with all these kinds of well-meaning, popular psychology experiments, they make sense because they're circling round deeper truths, that have gone unnoticed, or unmentioned.
I could pull out loads of reasons why this study makes sense from a 3 Principles perspective, but in this case, I'd say the main one would be:
🔑
****Key Message**: Who you really are is ****before** thought.
The more we identify with thought, the further we stray from our true identity, and the harder life will seem.
(You don't need to be a neuroscientist to observe that when you're present to life and not ruminating on all the mind's problems that it's making for itself, everything flows a lot easier!)
So *any* steps one can take in getting some distance from the uninvited guest in your head, is going to help – including referring to oneself in the third person!
But without that deeper insight—that who we really are is actually *before* thought—it would be very easy to start identifying with the thinking that's ‘getting some distance’ from the other bit of thinking that it doesn't like… and it all gets very complicated and messy, very quickly.
😵💫
Which is why, while it's a nice theory and all, I suspect not many people will have derived much actual benefit from talking about themselves in the third person, unless they've seen that ***all*** identity is a creation of thought.
After that, one kind of starts taking one’s ‘self’ a lot less seriously anyway – you don't need to cope with, talk-away, or ‘get some distance’ from something that's not real.
🤷🏻♂️
Anyway, for me there's a more fundamental problem with research like this, and it's the whole *emotions-are-to-be-muffled* thing.
Had they ever stopped to consider that trying to manage and control our experience is *exactly* the thing that makes life look hard in the first place?!
I'm going to have to bring out the big guns here again, aren't I?
[](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
💟
Giles
p.s. It did occur to me though, that if you're ever needing to provide someone with supporting evidence for the 3Ps, you could add this study to your toolkit. Might be a good way of starting the conversation!
### Parental duty
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/parental-duty/
Last updated: 2026-02-06T20:03:36.000Z
> ***“You're mean!”***
It's my daughter. Although, to be fair, it could so easily be a client.
Because sometimes the things I say, *are* mean.
To a mind.
🤷🏻♂️
And what has provoked this snap judgement of my character, you may ask?
Oh, I can't remember. One of life's little irritations. It'll have been [stairs-related](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-sometimes-get-mad-with-your-self/), surely? An item of clothing perhaps, that should (🚩) be *here*, when it's not – it's *there*, instead?
All I know is that one minute I can hear carefree singing coming from the shower downstairs, and the next minute—up here—there's crossness and shouting and things being flung.
How do I respond?
Well, if you've been paying attention you'll know that I don't really get to choose. My response will depend on the way I'm seeing the world, right there in that very moment; what level my ‘[consciousness elevator](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)’ is on.
So…
- If I'm distracted by the mind's insecurities—and it looks like there's a lot of ‘Giles’ there to protect—I'll feel like [I'm under attack](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/), and will go into what they call *fight, flight or freeze mode* (i.e. I'll yell, or wander off, or just despair).
- And when I'm feeling bright and breezy and rolling with the punches—‘Giles’ nowhere to be seen; nothing to protect—I'll feel empathy and see the funny side of it all, reacting accordingly.
Which in this case manifests as me hunting around the room, making a big deal of looking behind doors and under things, prompting,
> ***“What are you doing?”***
> *“It's gone! I can't find it! I'm trying to help.”*
> ***“What?”***
> *“Your sense of humour. I think you might have left it somewhere… the bathroom maybe? On the floor, most likely.”*
😂🤣😂🤣
This was *not* received with the appreciation it deserved, I feel!!
All I got in return was,
> ***“You're mean!”***
## My parental duty
Look, living with me must be a right pain in the arse sometimes, but I feel like once I've ensured my daughter's immediate physical safety—we wear seatbelts, we strongly discourage walking while looking at phone messages, and we teach basic principles of food hygiene, with varying degrees of success—I've only really got ***one*** overall job.
🎁
To help her wake up to the illusion of her thinking.
Because whenever that happens, we reconnect to life and get immediately put back in touch with wisdom, common sense, perspective, psychological wellbeing, intuition, creativity…
…and our sense of humour.
That's the first thing to go, as I'm sure you'll attest.
(It's a great pointer, for you, too!)
Throughout her life, my daughter is going to face all manner of difficulty, tragedy, conflict, confusion and sadness, and she'll handle *all* of it with grace and wisdom and common sense… *if* she knows where to look for them.
So pointing her back to presence; to her inner okayness—to her ‘[guide inside](https://www.myguideinside.com/about?ref=gilespcroft.com)’—is basically my life's work.
There's loads more I'll teach her of course, but all else stems from that. *Everything.*
It will be the hill I die on; a duty I will carry out indefatigably.
To *not* do so would be negligent…
…and sometimes—to a mind—that may seem mean.
I love you kiddo!
❤️❤️❤️
Giles
#### In the mood for some related content? (Select ▽)
There are a few Daily Reminders in the archives that look in this direction and a couple of different ways to access them:
- Visit the [Parenting topic](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/parenting/), for **all* related content now available in the [Archives](https://www.gilespcroft.com/archive/)
Or if you'd rather do it directly from here, the curated ones I'd recommend are:
- “[Do you worry about your daughter's future?](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-worry-about-your-daughters-future/)” (could almost be a companion-piece to this one)
- [Adolescence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/adolescence/) (in which we look at what happened in the hit TV programme, to uncover the deeper reasons why he did what he did)
- [Do you sometimes get mad with your self?](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-sometimes-get-mad-with-your-self/) (which speaks to the whole ‘life's little irritations’ thing – and how to handle them better)
- [It's not about remembering](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-not-about-remembering/) (takes a deeper look at this notion of ‘choosing’ our behaviour, in any moment
- [The one relationship that defines all others](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/) (another deeper look at identity, our relationship to Thought, and how it shapes all else)
- [Who's under attack?](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/) (which takes that notion further)
- [Thought, masquerading as presence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/) (the one about the Great Glass Consciousness Elevator 🛗 A classic.)
- [Mind names](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-names/) (where this relentless pursuit of mine spilled over into my daughter's creativity 😂)
### Not living life, now
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-living-life-now/
Last updated: 2025-12-09T07:00:29.000Z
The other day we took an in-depth [look at goals](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/), in particular how this whole striving-for-an-outcome thing can trip us up a bit, reinforcing the outside-in illusion by making a fallacious connection between the goal and how we feel.
While I was writing that one, there was a concept that floated up for me—a sort of summary of it all—but then the post ended up going in a slightly different direction, and when I tried to squeeze it in, it didn't fit.
So it's here, instead. Your take-home message:
😩
We can spend our **entire* lives with our attention on ****what's next**, dreaming of a ‘better tomorrow’ which means we fail to experience, or enjoy the **real* happiness that is life, ****NOW**.
And I really don't want that for you.
(Or me. Or anyone!)
I scouted around to see if I could find a pithy little cartoon to depict this for you – something to make it visually memorable.
I came across a popular meme that says:
> “Tomorrow will be better. And if it's not, I will say it again.”
And I suppose that's all fine and dandy, but it's a tad positive-thinky for my liking, and not really what the Daily Reminders are all about. (The antithesis, in fact!)
So I turned instead to an old favourite: [Calvin & Hobbes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvin%5Fand%5FHobbes?ref=gilespcroft.com). I grew up on these cartoons, and am making sure my daughter does, too, because they cut to the heart of the human experience.
Out of the mouths of babes…
[](https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1988/04/17?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Taken from the [Calvin & Hobbes Portable Compendium](https://amzn.to/3MMX0If?ref=gilespcroft.com) Book 4 p.95 (17th April 1988)
> *“We're so busy watching out for what's ahead of us that we don't take the time to enjoy where we are.”* \~ Calvin
Life's only *ever* happening now… don't wish it away.
💟
Giles
### Mentioned above
[I’ll be happy when…Four words that ruin lives… and yet we don’t even notice 😩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)
Goals are ***brilliant…** until they're not.
### Logical and magical
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/logical-and-magical/
Last updated: 2026-07-10T06:54:43.000Z
I'm a scientist at heart and if there's one thing I love about working from an Innate Health perspective, it's the logic.
It gets me out of all sorts of scrapes.
See, it doesn't matter *who* I'm working with, or *what* they're coming to me with, the principles remain the same.
It's brilliant.
You see, I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything, or sell them on the idea of a particular strategy, or a ritual they have to keep up with, in order to see the benefits.
We're not trying to fix anything, or learn better ‘coping’ techniques, because, honestly, there's nothing to fix and nothing to cope with.
There's no belief-changing to do, either.
There's just laying out the logic of how we experience the world… and then letting the magic happen.
---
> *“I'm not really listening!”* 😲
Several weeks into a block of Innate Health coaching, and we'd been looking at the logic that underpinned how a client was showing up in meetings – the principles behind how they *experience* meetings, and other people and the like.
Important meetings. Lots riding on them – literal millions at stake! They *needed* to be going better.
And this was what they saw, when they took their new understanding into the room with them.
Like the rest of us mere mortals, saddled with this very human psychology, they were mostly listening to the voice in their head—disagreeing, arguing, remembering, interrupting, reasoning, comparing, judging, analysing, suggesting—rather than to the situation in front of them.
It was quite the wake up call.
> *“Most of the conversations I have, I realised, I'm not really there!”* 😲
And with that, the magic started happening: more presence, better connection, people expanding their own positions, situations better understood all round, less aggro, more inspired solutions…
All from this very simple, logical looking towards how things *are*, rather than taking our experience at face value.
Using logic, to let the magic out, all by itself.
✨
Giles
Premium 🔖 content
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening)
For ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers** there's a deeper look at the art of listening, with extra written and audio content, in the form of an article entitled **Creative Listening.*
[Read & Listen to the Article Now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening)
### What if we don't actually want enlightenment?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-we-dont-actually-want-enlightenment/
Last updated: 2025-12-07T07:00:52.000Z
Every now and again I'll think I've got things nicely dialled in—a firm enough stance on something, that I can talk about it with a degree of certainty—and then one simple observation from someone else blows it all out of the water.
🤣
So it was with this little comic:
[](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/conscious-8?ref=gilespcroft.com)
[Link to original comic](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/conscious-8?ref=gilespcroft.com) | [Zach's Patreon](https://patreon.com/zachweinersmith?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Firstly, I love the attention to detail:
- Human slouched on sofa
- Robot contentedly cleaning (maybe with a nod to the film [Perfect Days](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27503384/reference/?ref%5F=fn%5Ft%5F1&ref=gilespcroft.com))
And the reason this comic strip grabbed me by the scruff of the neck is because right here, in the **Daily Reminders,** I have already explored the notion of AI, and how:
1. it's the [perfect metaphor for the left brain](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-chat-bot-in-your-head/) – soulless, analytical, contained, disconnected
2. it's only really [capable of ***generative*** content](https://www.gilespcroft.com/using-ai-as-a-tool/), not ***creative*** content
3. seeking solace in technology (e.g. [when grieving](https://www.gilespcroft.com/syd-would-not-approve/)) is a very slippery slope indeed, akin to being in denial of our humanity.
So you can see, I'm building quite the argument there for being wary of blindly adopting the ways of AI. Indeed, you could summarise those three previous **Daily Reminders** as:
🤖
AI is all well and good as a tool. But its essence—analysis; computation—is an **obstruction* to enlightenment. It is our focus on all this mind-processing activity, that prevents us from seeing our TRUE NATURE.
I'm bigging up our spiritual essence and denigrating the shallow, disconnected AI.
And then along comes this comic, turning it all on its head.
😂🤣
It's just a bit of fun, but goes to show that *nothing* is black and white, eh?
😉
Giles
p.s. So you don't have to, I looked up what *‘Namu Amida Butsu’* means. It's a [Japanese mantra](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nianfo?ref=gilespcroft.com) – the chanting of the Buddha's name, as spiritual practice. What an enlightened little service robot! 🤖
### Your next reads
[Variability is the keyYou have an idea of ‘how you are’ but it’s got nothing to do with who you \*really\* are. 💝The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/variability-is-the-key/)
The one about how **nothing* is black and white ☯️
[AI - The Daily RemindersExploring life with our increasingly omnipresent robot overlords. N.B. Content that is instantly dated! 🤖The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/ai/)
All the other Daily Reminders on the [Topic](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/) of AI
### I'll be happy when…
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T07:03:12.000Z
Here's something I bet you do.
And I'll tell you what – I'm confident this is a bet I'd win, because it's **humanOS** 101.
We *all* do it. *All* the time.
And why is nobody talking about it?
Because we've taken it for granted – me too!
This one's so obvious (and so damned *pernicious*) that I'm guilty of not talking about it enough.
But it came up in a coaching conversation today, so let's do just that.
## The natural tendency
We're future-looking creatures. We have goals. This is no bad thing.
I'm not here to vilify goals. I can prove it to you, look:
[Looking forwardIt’s easy to vilify future-thinking, but it’s not \*bad\* per se… you can use it to your advantage! 🔮The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-forward/)
I love me a goal. Especially when there's food at the end of it 😋
But if we don't remain aware that a goal:
- is made of thought
- isn't actually a ‘thing’
- can never turn out exactly how we (i.e. the mind) imagine(s)
- won't deliver the kind of peace of mind we seek, long term
…then we can easily become a slave to them.
We start living our lives with a subtle *“I'll be happy when…”* seeking-script running in the background.
## Workplace goals
My client works in an organisation where goals are *de rigeur*. It's probably the same for you, even if you work for yourself. The most common scenario is this (see if it resonates for you):
- You're given something to aim towards (an outcome, that you may even be measured against) by your boss
- You're told you have ***x*** amount of time and ***y*** amount of resource to achieve this outcome, and you're let loose on it
- You do your best, and feel like you have a sense of purpose – *I'm going to achieve this goal!* The hard work and problem-solving all feels worthwhile.
- You're excited to be working towards this goal – it's what you're here for, and this one is bigger and better than the last. *When *this* goal is achieved, everything will be alright!* *All the stress and worry will be worth it!*
- After a lot of toil and trouble, the [finish line](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finish-lines/) is in sight, and eventually you achieve your goal. You feel fantastic! 🥳 🙌🏻 🎊
- The next day (or sooner) there's a sense of anticlimax and a feeling that the achievement of this goal hasn't *quite* delivered the levels of satisfaction, wellbeing and peace that you'd been imagining
- You hit a bit of a slump. Maybe the goal wasn't big enough? But never mind, because the next day…
- You're given something to aim towards (an outcome, that you may even be measured against) by your boss.
😆
And on it goes.
(In this scenario, if you're self-employed like I am, [*you're* the sodding boss](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-your-boss/) which makes it 10 times as bad, because the I'll-be-happy-when goals you set *yourself* are frankly ridiculous.)
## So why doesn't the high last?
It's because…
Oh, hang on, I need to be a bit careful and sneaky here, because minds are very wedded to the utility and importance of goals, and if I go into Teacher Mode™ 👨🏻🏫—just telling you how it is—it may well rebel against this one.
So let's pose it as a question, instead, see how that lands.
Tell you what, I'll swear too – make you laugh a bit. That always helps information to go in.
🤔
****What if…** the high you feel upon achieving a goal has **nothing* to do with the goal itself and **everything* to do with the mind shutting the fuck up for a bit?
There. I said it.
I mean, stands to reason, doesn't it? Because we know that:
> 🔑 **Key Message.** 100% of our felt experience of life comes from (The Principle of) Thought and 0% comes from our circumstances.
We also know that:
> 🔑 **Key Message.** ALL problems are created by the mind.
So the mind—ego—has its little *‘I'll be happy when…’* seeking-script running in the background all the while we're working towards our goal. It serves as a sort of carrot-on-a-stick: the promise of a ‘better tomorrow’.
And then it gets what it wants. It briefly stops seeking, and during that short window, it shuts up.
You feel contentment.
And then it starts up again, 10 minutes later. Only *this* time, it needs *more*.
It's a game you can't win.
## It's not just work stuff
I hope it's fairly obvious to you, from this work-place example, how easy it is to fall into the trap of attaching our happiness and peace of mind to goals.
But, like I said at the outset, this is something we *all* do, *all* the time!
😱
My client—who's had a [few sessions with me](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals) now, and is getting their eye in, and reaping the rewards, overheard a colleague literally coming out with the phrase:
> “I'll be happy when I've got all this stuff out of the way and it's Christmas.”
…and we both laughed and said,
> “Why wait?!” 🤷🏻♂️
Because here's the thing about “all that stuff” – in this example, and in general:
1. When you've finished it all, there'll be ***more* stuff**. Guaranteed. There *is* [no finish line](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finish-lines/)!
2. The image your mind created about **how life will be** when all the stuff is done, is a work of fiction. It has never existed and it never will.
3. If you let go of the *I'll-be-happy-when* story and **choose instead to be happy now**… you'll find your dread of actually doing all the stuff will go away, and you'll be way more productive! It's win-win!!
🙌🏻
## Final words
I'm going to leave the final words to [Richard Carlson](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard%5FCarlson%5F%28author%29?ref=gilespcroft.com), whose amazing book, [*You Can Be Happy No Matter What*](https://amzn.to/3Yb1Stf?ref=gilespcroft.com), has an entire chapter devoted to reaping the rewards of being more present.
And on this matter, he says,
> *“When you focus your attention on the present moment, instead of moments that are over or yet to be, you'll maximise your productivity, creativity, and ability to accomplish your goals.*
>
> *Too many future-oriented or past-oriented thoughts cloud your vision and distract you from what you are doing.*
>
> *The more present moment-oriented you become, the easier it will be to stay on track, get focused, concentrate, and achieve your goals.*
>
> *In short, an undistracted mind is able to make wise, appropriate decisions.”*
I can't top that!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Book recommendation
[You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles for Ke…Five “principles” designed to achieve happiness in the …GoodreadsRichard Carlson](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/100287.You%5FCan%5FBe%5FHappy%5FNo%5FMatter%5FWhat?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Short and sweet and completely life-changing. I have gifted this book to **more* clients!
### Here to evolve?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/here-to-evolve/
Last updated: 2025-12-05T07:00:07.000Z
The extent of my ignorance is so vast, it could fill the cosmos.
Same for you. (Sorry to break it to you.)
Anyone who pretends they know what's going on in the big scheme of things is just making it up… which is fine, I suppose, so long as you *know* that.
Make your own mind up – life doesn't come [pre-packaged with meaning](https://youtu.be/dPSdvFdUM80?ref=gilespcroft.com). Life means what we *want* it to mean.
🤷🏻♂️
You've caught me in a funny mood today and I feel compelled to remind you that we are all ants, crawling around on a ball of rock, hurtling through the infinite void of space at [an insane speed](https://www.space.com/33527-how-fast-is-earth-moving.html?ref=gilespcroft.com).
It's bonkers.
We don't know what's going on. Which is why I think it's important (and fun!) to stay open-minded, in our quest for fulfilment during our short stay here as these ghosts in meat suits.
So I'll go out of my way to watch, listen to and read things that ‘I’ (i.e. the Giles Ego Construct 📦) don't really understand or necessarily agree with. I will then weigh it up against my own experience (which is all we get) and see if there's anything to be taken from it.
Maybe the Daily Reminders are a bit like that for you!
😁
### Let me take you on a trip
Anyway, this is how I came to read something about a Professor of Philosophy & Religious Studies, who—in his own quest to understand the nature of things—underwent a staggering ***73*** (!!) high dose LSD sessions over a 20 year period, meticulously documenting what he learned, along the way.
😵💫
It's easy to just throw accounts like these out the window (*“Who would do that?! Are they crazy?!”* asks the mind), but it's specifically *because* my mind reacts in such a way to these things, that I'll read on, out of curiosity.
Reassuringly, he himself thinks it's a daft thing to do, doesn't recommend people try anything even *remotely* similar, merely suggesting we all *read more* to widen our horizons, instead.
His one paragraph conclusion from all of this inner exploration is below, and if you want to read the article I read, which goes into a bit more detail, it's [linked here](https://newsletter.theleading-edge.org/p/lsd-and-the-edge-of-human-experience?ref=gilespcroft.com).
[](https://newsletter.theleading-edge.org/p/lsd-and-the-edge-of-human-experience?ref=gilespcroft.com)
When I first read that, I couldn't help but draw parallels with Syd Banks' own description of ‘[The Experience](https://youtu.be/sdLd-jkC0iU?si=qm7swMAtd9q6rEik&ref=gilespcroft.com)’ he had in the 1970's that is the whole reason I'm writing this now. No separation… light… oneness… intelligent energy of life…
Make of that what you will.
And what I took away from all this talk of reincarnation and a *“deep logic and significance to the circumstances of our lives”* was a real feeling of peace.
My first instinct was to reply with [the following tweet](https://x.com/gilespcroft/status/1992597899977372097?s=20&ref=gilespcroft.com):
🐦
We'll never know of course, but there's something deeply ease-making about the notion of us being here—enduring the uniquely tedious challenges we face—specifically \*because\* this is what we're appearing as in consciousness, to evolve.
**This sucks…* 😖
**Oh, hang on, I remembered (again)… it's supposed to!!* 😮
**This is what I'm here for!* 😍
### Live. Die. Repeat.
I'm reminded of the criminally underrated and eminently re-watchable Tom Cruise & Emily Blunt movie, [*Edge of Tomorrow*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1631867/?bypassRefViewPref=1&ref=gilespcroft.com), where he gets slain repeatedly, in order to learn, evolve and ultimately achieve his purpose.
Life sometimes feels a bit like being ‘slain repeatedly’, doesn't it?! 😆
So when I'm struggling against something that feels really unfair—like life's out to get me—the idea that I'm *supposed* to be facing these particular challenges in order to evolve humanity as a whole… well I find that strangely comforting.
In fact it usually slows me down to the degree that I relax out of whatever fretful thinking is *causing* me unease in that moment, and am able to see the next step; the way forward.
A [Howard Jones lyric](https://youtu.be/bmSbW2Q1zRU?ref=gilespcroft.com) floats to the surface…
> “So what is the answer?
> Be easy on yourself
> Make your self feel at ease
> Maybe that's the answer.”
💟
Giles
### Switching off the tap
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/switching-off-the-tap/
Last updated: 2025-12-10T19:55:33.000Z
We've been talking this week about the notion of ‘contaminated thinking’ – [what it is](https://www.gilespcroft.com/contaminated-thinking/), and [what we do about it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pollution-solution/) when we spot it bringing us down.
And to wrap it up I'm going to consider *another* question I got asked recently, on the same topic.
> *“Can we have *less* contaminated thinking?”*
It's another corker, isn't it? Because it's looking *upstream* to causes, rather than just plugging holes *downstream*, putting sticking plasters on symptoms.
I'm a big fan of that. It's the essence of an inside-out approach:
- Why treat symptoms when you can address the cause?
- Why cope with problems when you can remove them entirely?
- Why try and change thought when you can see it as being utterly harmless?
(Reminds me of this image I created a while back, to illustrate different ways of dealing with stress in the workplace. Why waste time, energy and resources plugging the holes, when you could just switch off the damned tap?!?! 😆)
99% of existing workplace wellbeing initiatives are just plugging the holes.
But I'm skirting around the *can-we-have-less-contaminated-thinking* question here aren't I, because of course the straight answer is:
> **No.**
I don't think ‘we’ can do anything about the way the mind reacts to situations (if we could, wouldn't we have done it already?) and I think you pretty much get what you're given.
Your conditioning—picked up through a lifetime's experience—overlaid on top of your genetic make-up, pretty much determines that, as far as I can tell. Isn't that what it actually *is*, to be human?
🤷🏻♂️
**So where does this leave us?**
1. We can't change the *content* of our (contaminated) thinking – once it's there, in the world of form, it's there.
2. And we can't change the *amount* of (contaminated) thinking we get.
So what *can* change?
## The stop tap
There's one thing that turns all of this discussion of contaminated thought completely on its head.
Because again, aren't we making a pre-supposition here: that ‘contaminated’ thinking is somehow ‘bad’?
That it's a real problem, that has to be dealt with?
Which means I get to change my mind about the original question and give a *different* straight answer:
> ***Of course!***
Of course you can have less contaminated thinking, if you no longer see it as ‘contaminated’!
Because here's thing that changes *everything*:
💥
Your relationship ***to** (contaminated) thinking.
And you might just find that when you stop caring quite so much about what the mind is chuntering on about in any given moment—‘contaminated’, ‘encouraging’ or otherwise—it gives up the ghost and settles down on its own.
🥳
Giles
### Related reading
[Contaminated thinkingWhat does a contaminant actually \*do\* to the substance it’s contaminating? And what are the implications for us? 🔬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/contaminated-thinking/)
Part 1 of this 3-part series on ****Contaminated Thinking**
[Pollution solutionWhat’s the solution to ‘contaminated thinking’, when we find ourselves lost in a thought storm? ⛈️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pollution-solution/)
Part 2 of this 3-part series on ****Contaminated Thinking**
### Pollution solution
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/pollution-solution/
Last updated: 2025-12-10T19:57:08.000Z
The other day, we were talking about contamination—what it is; the nature and meaning of it—and we looked at how that related to the notion of ‘[contaminated thinking](https://www.gilespcroft.com/contaminated-thinking/)’.
[Contaminated thinkingWhat does a contaminant actually \*do\* to the substance it’s contaminating? And what are the implications for us? 🔬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/contaminated-thinking/)
Part 1 of this 3-part series on ****Contaminated Thinking**
It was a bit of an exploratory, philosophical kind of piece (with a main tag of ‘[Principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/)’, you'll have seen) and may have left you wondering,
> *“Well that's all fine and dandy, Giles, but what the heck am I supposed to *do*, when I find myself caught up in a bunch of contaminated thinking?!”*
\[throws-hands-in-air-in-exasperation-emoji\] 🤨
---
It's exactly the question that came up in conversation with a client the other day—the whole reason I got to thinking about what contamination is and isn't, for [that Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/contaminated-thinking/)—and I'm going to help you to see the solution to this kind of ‘polluted’ thinking, with a little story.
(Stories are brilliant, because as [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) would say, *“Stories bypass the intellect.”* They allow you to go beyond an intellectual understanding and actually realise—as in ‘make real’—a deeper truth.)
Pull up a chair…
🪑📚🤔😲
You know how you've got that one teacher who was so inspiring when you were younger, you still remember them now?
(You've got to. It's such a common thing, I seem to remember an old series of TV ads run here in the UK by the Teacher Training Agency, based on that supposition – although I can't find them online to show you!)
Anyway, I had one such teacher when I was training to be a doctor. He was a general surgeon in a rural District General Hospital that we used to get bussed out to at the beginning of every week, for the 6-week duration of our surgical placement.
We spent a lot of time in his company, learning the ropes, attending theatre and clinic with him, and being *constantly* grilled on our (frighteningly scant) surgical knowledge.
He didn't suffer fools gladly (as wet-behind-the-ears medical students we were all pretty terrified of him) and was a straight down the line, no messing, this-is-how-it-is, deeply professional and caring kind of chap, who, in retrospect, was one of the reasons I ended up becoming a surgeon myself, years later.
And he taught us all one lesson that I have *never* forgotten. A lesson he drilled into us impressionable young medical students *so* frequently and *so* consistently that I don't remember *anything* else he taught me. Because in my head it's the only thing he *ever* said!!!
😆
(What does *that* say about the fallibility of memory, eh? #thepastisjustathought)
It's a very simple principle—encapsulated in a delightfully catchy little saying—that's followed me through the whole of the rest of my life, because I have found it's applicable across the board.
As I say, he was a general surgeon – that's abdomens to you; your intestines or guts. The inside of an abdomen is a sacred, totally sterile place that should be left well alone, except in case of emergency, such as something perforating, like an ulcer, or an appendix or the bowel itself, for whatever reason.
When that happens, the contents of what's inside—definitely not sterile! 💩—wreaks absolute *havoc* inside that sacred space, and makes people very poorly indeed. (Which is the reason I decided to become an *orthopaedic* surgeon instead, way back then – the patients were mostly fit and healthy! 😆)
This usually bacteria-free sanctuary becomes contaminated, or polluted, and it's such a major, life-threatening situation that you need to sort it out pronto. In theatre, it's also a dynamic, high-stress scenario that calls for some basic principles you can depend on, to guide you through all the complexity you're faced with. So you don't over-think it and dilly-dally, basically.
[When learning removes thinkingA practical demonstration of how “The answers to complex problems lie in simple solutions” 👌🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-learning-removes-thinking/)
This is how to deal with complicated situations – by using ****PRINCIPLES**
And here's what he taught us – not only a way of dealing with bacterial contamination, but *any* kind of ‘infection’:
> *“The solution to pollution is dilution.”*
That's it. So simple. So obvious. So damned helpful, all the time, and in so many human situations.
You wash it away!
In general surgical theatre, once you'd dealt with the offending source of the leak, this involved washing the abdomen through with litres and litres and *litres* and ***litres***of normal saline (this was the underlying explanatory principle he taught us, that accounted for such a seemingly wasteful practice), but of course it applies to cuts and scrapes in general and all manner of *that-shouldn't-be-there!* domestic hygiene situations.
## Mental hygiene, too.
[Listen to enough Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#audio/), and at some point you'll hear him mention “mind viruses” and “contaminated thinking” and “penicillin for the mind” and each time he's talking in those terms—and pointing out to you that **understanding**, or **awareness** are the [tools you have at your disposal](https://www.gilespcroft.com/sticky-labels/) for dealing with that—he's really saying this same thing:
> **The solution to pollution is dilution.**
And the absolute beauty*—*the sheer *genius—*of being human, is that this dilution process is **already built in**.
The mind is a self-correcting system that *always* comes back into balance, **when we become truly aware of our attachment to the *content* of our thinking** (something I gave you a personal example of, in [yesterday's Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-real/))… and gently disengage from it.
It's like our own, personal, built in little snow globe, that settles as soon as we stop shaking it.
Indeed, for me, this is the very definition of **resilience** itself:
🔑
****Key Message**: RESILIENCE is the visible manifestation of our Psychological Immune System.
When you realise that ‘dilution’ of your ‘polluted’ thinking is an innate capacity that can never be wrested from you, well then, you'll find this little phrase just as useful as I have done, over the years:
> *“The solution to pollution is dilution.”*
💟
Giles
### Your next reads
[Switching off the tapWhat’s better than repairing holes in your bucket? Switching the tap off, of course! Here’s how. 🚰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/switching-off-the-tap/)
The final Part 3 of this 3-part series on ****Contaminated Thinking**
[What if it really was this simple?The four basic facts that will get you through any situation, with anyone, any time. 🔮The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-it-really-was-this-simple/)
An adorable munchkin story, involving a snow globe and one very tired parent 🥱
[Sticky labelsHow to use the most powerful tool you have at your disposal, to get you out of a spiral 🌀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/sticky-labels/)
How awareness alone can get you out of an anxious spiral 👀
### Being real
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-real/
Last updated: 2026-03-20T09:31:42.000Z
I had all sorts of plans for this Daily Reminder.
I didn't *know* I had all sorts of plans—as in, I genuinely hadn't spotted that that was going on—until they fell apart.
It's funny how that works, isn't it?
We don't *notice* we're doing it, until life comes along and delivers something very different.
We're racing along and the wheels fall off and suddenly we find ourselves stranded by the side of the road, blinking in the sunlight, scratching our heads.
Our attention had been *so* firmly set on our destination—how we were going to get there, what was going to happen when we did, what it all meant, what would happen *after* that—and we were so distracted by the *noise* of it all (planning is a very noisy vehicle), that yet again, we'd taken our eyes off life itself.
And now here we are, standing next to our broken down vehicle, in the calm and the quiet of the middle of nowhere, forced to reassess.
(Man plans, God laughs.)
Take a deep breath. Look around. Feel warmth on skin. Hear the birds and other sounds, far off in the distance. Be still, as the moment reveals itself.
Gosh, it's beautiful.
I hadn't noticed.
---
I remember the first shoots of this ‘spotting-I-was-caught-up-in-plans’ appearing in the kitchen, quite late on in the day.
Trying to solve stuckness in the time-honoured fashion of making more tea, it dawned on me just how *bad* I was feeling.
*“Late one, or early one?”* was the last thing my wife had asked me, before heading to bed herself. (I've been doing a fair bit of ‘[medieval sleeping](https://www.gilespcroft.com/medieval-sleep/)’ recently, and she wants to know my predictions, so she can start the business of planning her *own* tomorrow, right before sleep. It's a universal thing.)
I didn't *know*, but I didn't particularly want to set an alarm for stupid o'clock either, so I'd reluctantly committed to ‘late one’, and here I was, making tea. Feeling bad.
Such a gift, ‘feeling bad’.
So helpful, one could almost develop a taste for it.
Because it's the tap on the shoulder we need. It's life saying to us,
> *“Would you care to slow the f\*\*k down for a moment, and reassess?”*
Stirring a cup for tea for a few seconds longer than I would do normally was all it took for the shoots of awareness to appear.
*Hang on*, I thought. *I've been here before, haven't I?* *This ‘feeling bad’ in the run up to something?*
And in the middle of it, helpless to do anything *about* it, I got the sense that I'd maybe noticed *just* enough… to take my foot off the gas ever so slightly, and get curious.
It still really *looked* like the problem was this Daily Reminder, but now, I wasn't quite so sure of that.
*What's it been, in the past, when I've been feeling bad like this? What's been the issue? How did it get resolved?*
I recalled all the days of fretting in advance of a Wellbeing Wednesdays, or a talk I was due to give, or a podcast appearance, or a piece of writing I couldn't nail, or a conversation I was due to have or basically anything where the mind has got its knickers in a twist because it thinks that *it* has to do stuff that *life* actually does…
🙄
And as I lifted the teabag out, the only difference seemed to be that I was left with a certainty that *something* would happen; that life would deliver the results. That it would turn out alright in the end.
So I took my cup of tea back upstairs, sat at my desk and spent the next couple of hours feeling bad *there*, instead of in the kitchen, procrastinating on admin, before giving up and crawling into bed, resigned instead to another ‘early one’.
😆
I woke a few hours later (before the stupid o'clock alarm, I should note) with the answer.
🤦♂️
****Being real.**
Those two words woke me up.
That's what the **Daily Reminders** are all about! Showing you it's ok to be real—to be human—by being human *with* you.
And I'd lost sight of that recently.
What with the launch of the new website and all, there's been a recent period of (what appears as) quite intense planning. It's been a *huge* project-planning exercise, with so many little this-before-that-before-the-other scenarios playing out, that I'd allowed the mind's illusion of control to creep into my writing.
> 📦: Then I'll write *this*. And *this* is how it will be received. And it will link in nicely with *that*. And what will happen as a result of that will be *this*. And then tomorrow I'll write that *other*…
My attention had been *so* firmly set on my destination, and I'd been so distracted by the *noise* of planning, that yet again, I'd taken my eyes off life itself.
But that's not what we're about here – polished, planned posts that you can get just about anywhere on the internet.
We keep it real here. Messy, like life.
And invite you to go a bit deeper, by seeing an answer to this one that is ***so*** obvious, I got away with writing it as the very first word, of the very first sentence, of the very first paragraph of this Daily Reminder: ‘I’.
Because it wasn't me that had plans for this Daily Reminder.
It was the mind.
😘
Giles
### Contaminated thinking
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/contaminated-thinking/
Last updated: 2025-12-03T21:18:47.000Z
I really like the notion of contamination, I think it's fascinating.
I heard [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) talking once about ‘contaminated thinking’ and it struck me as a bit odd. I didn't really understand what he meant—was he talking about ‘bad’ thoughts or something?—and I resolved to figure it out.
I never did, naturally. Whenever ‘I’ (i.e. the Giles Ego Construct 📦) resolves to force some kind of answer it thinks it deserves out of thin air, it generally comes up empty-handed.
I must have given up or mostly put it [on the back burner](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-problems-on-the-back-burner/) or something because the next time I became aware of ‘contamination’ as a thing, I found myself idly musing with a glass of water in my hand.
I was looking at it, thinking… *Contaminant. Water. Contaminant. Water.* And then it suddenly hit me:
😲
A contaminant in water doesn't actually change the **nature* of the water. It's just a contaminant.
Ooh.
Now I don't know how that makes you feel to stop for a moment and reflect on it, but there's something *in* that, that helped me to get a bit closer to what Syd meant (I think).
---
Whenever I want to get a bit of clarity on something, I'll look up the original meaning of a word. ([EtymOnline](https://www.etymonline.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) is your friend. My *word*, have I spent some hours on there 😬)
And for ‘contaminant’ it's *com* (with) + *tangere* (to touch). So contamination is ‘with touching’.
Which again, gives me a slightly strange feeling when I consider it. Because if one were to observe a glass of muddy water, taken at face value, it would *look* like this one thing: just messy, muddy water.
But on deeper exploration, we'd find it's actually pure, clear water. With a contaminant, touching it.
Like I say: *fascinating.*
## Thought and thinking
So here we go then, try this on for size.
We live in this world of *(big-T)* Thought, yeah? Everything's made of the Principle of Thought, or what I like to think of as Thought-perception.
Because we're not experiencing an objective, ‘outside’ world directly. The *entire* thing (100% of it) is being generated from within, something I covered in a recent **Daily Reminder**, called ‘No sunrise for you.’
[“No sunrise for you!”What we mean when we say “It’s all made up.” ✋🏻⌨️🤚🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/no-sunrise-for-you/)
So, your experience of a tree? Thought.
Your hands? That's Thought, too.
Every feeling & emotion you've ever had? Yup, it's Thought. The past? Thought. The future? Thought.
You get the picture.
Basically, experience (which is all we get) *is* **Thought**, brought to life in **Consciousness**, powered by the unfathomable, intelligent energy of life: **Mind**.
🔆
These are the ****3 Principles**. If you're curious, you can find out loads more about them here: [****3pgc.org**](https://3pgc.org/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
That's your lot – there's nothing *more* than those 3 Principles, and there's no experience to be had without all three.
But then we have actual *(small-t)* ‘thoughts’, don't we? The jibber jabber analysis-fest that is the chippy little bastard in our heads, *observing* Thought (in its purest form) and *commentating* on what it sees.
This too has got to be made of Thought (everything is, in one form or another), but it's definitely something we can be conscious of, as seemingly separate.
And so on my light touch exploration of the notion of contamination, I got to wondering… What if Syd's ‘contaminated thinking’ is pure Thought-perception, but with our thinking mixed in?
🤔
And just like contaminated water, if one were to observe You, taken at face value you might *look* like a right old mess at times.
But on deeper exploration we'd find it's actually pure, clear You. With a contaminant, touching it.
So you can have whatever contaminated thinking you like rattling around in there, but it will never affect who you really are.
It doesn't change the *nature* of who you are.
Innate Health itself.
💖
Giles
### Your next read
[Pollution solutionWhat’s the solution to ‘contaminated thinking’, when we find ourselves lost in a thought storm? ⛈️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pollution-solution/)
Part 2 of this 3-part series on ****Contaminated Thinking**
[“But my mind has been quite helpful recently!”The thing is, it \*would\* say that, wouldn’t it? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/)
Seriously though, what if the mind **was* literally just observing & commentating?
### Can awareness be ‘bad’?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/can-awareness-be-bad/
Last updated: 2025-11-30T08:12:37.000Z
It's Sunday, so let's slow right down and explore one of the core tenets of this understanding: awareness itself. Who we really are.
(No biggie, eh?)
I talk about awareness being ‘the solution’ to pretty much everything. Whether it's catching yourself indulging in ‘[people prep](https://www.gilespcroft.com/people-prep/)’; stopping procrastinating by realising it's the [mind procrastinating](https://www.gilespcroft.com/later-today/), not you; or [navigating fluctuating moods](https://www.gilespcroft.com/goggles/) with more grace and ease, the Dr Giles prescription is so often: “Be aware!”
But what happens when awareness goes ‘bad’? Isn't it sometimes better to just be in the flow of life? (That's another one you'll hear me say a lot.)
Can't we *torment* ourselves with awareness of the mind, and how it's making our life a misery?
😫
It's a super question, and there's one subtle distinction to see, that clears this one right up.
## Waking up
When we have some insights into the nature of things, it's a sort of ‘waking up’ to the ‘truth’ (for want of a better word).
Think of it as a layer of illusion falling away. Seeing through the veil of Thought.
It's like that bit in [*The Matrix*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133093/reference/?ref=gilespcroft.com), where Neo's been given a glimpse of the ‘truth’ and is then offered the blue pill (forget anything ever happened; go back to living the life he was living before, in blissful ignorance), or the red pill (wake up completely and deal with reality as it *actually* is).
🎬
As far as allegorical movies go, this is probably #1 in my list of films that tell-it-like-it-is, and I can watch it over and over again. If you haven't seen it, you **must!*
The whole red-pill/blue-pill thing has been co-opted by so many online tribes and meme-makers, that you'll hear it referred to a lot, and I was today years old [when I learned](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red%5Fpill%5Fand%5Fblue%5Fpill?ref=gilespcroft.com) that it first appeared in the film *Total Recall!*
Here's my all-time favourite funny greetings card I bought multiple copies of and send to the specialest of friends, when the time is right. “Neo's dilemma”:
[](https://www.prescriptionart.com/products/jimll-paint-it-neos-dilemma?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Art by the truly amazing [Jim'll Paint It](https://jimll.co.uk/?ref=gilespcroft.com) | [Link to Original](https://www.prescriptionart.com/products/jimll-paint-it-neos-dilemma?ref=gilespcroft.com)
😂🤣
And I'm going to be completely honest with you here – there are times when I genuinely wish I'd never ‘taken the red pill’ and come across the 3 Principles!!
When there's no one else to blame but your own stupid conditioned mind—and you know it!—it really does seem like awareness is ‘bad’. *Gimme the blue pill, send me back!!*
## Another mind trap 🪤
But of course, this is just another of the mind's traps.
I dropped the answer to this particular conundrum into that last paragraph. It was: *“and you know it.”*
Sorry, ***who*** exactly is it, that ‘knows’??
🤔
Could that be the mind, talking? Again?
When we slow down enough to explore this properly, we find that this is just the mind, trying to take control of the concept of ‘awareness’.
It's trying to absolve itself of its natural tendency to worry/seek problems, by getting some fake ‘distance’ from itself.
It's actually just generating *more* thinking, as it tries to pull the wool over your eyes, making out like it's helping, when in reality, all it's doing is this:
😆
Creating one identity (‘Rubbish me’) that another of its identity creations (‘Aware me’) can have a pop at!
🤷🏻♂️
## So what *is* the answer then?
It's Sunday. No answers for you 😘
But maybe this is just a *deeper* awareness. That this is *all* the mind. That it's *all* ok.
Could that be enough, to allow it to settle, and reveal the peace of who-you-really-are that lies beneath at all times?
Being aware of being aware.
😎
Giles
### Your next reads
Yup. Practically *every* Daily Reminder I write is pointing to this, in its own special way. I may as well just direct you to the full [Archives](https://www.gilespcroft.com/archive/)!
[“People prep”What exactly does your mind think it’s trying to achieve here? 🗒️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/people-prep/)
Being aware of the mind creating conversations never to be had 🤦🏻♂️
[How is this going to help me, later today?Responding to a mind, that wants to know how presence is going to help its cause? 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/later-today/)
Being aware of the mind getting ready to derail you later 🤦🏻
[GogglesOne thing to do and two things \*not\* to do, when faced with troublesome situations or emotions 👓The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/goggles/)
Being aware of the mind getting itself in a tizz about anything and everything 🤦🏼♀️
[ParadoxWe don’t, yes we do, no we don’t have free will. Oh, make up your mind, will you?! 😖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/)
Being aware of the mind making out like it's in charge 🤦🏻♂️
[Thought, masquerading as presenceThe one about the Great Glass Consciousness Elevator ↕️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)
Being aware of the mind getting more and less involved, throughout the day 💡
### A level playing field
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-level-playing-field/
Last updated: 2026-07-16T17:36:15.000Z
Much is made in the world of coaching (and to a lesser extent, therapy) of the importance of a lack of hierarchy.
When the basic premise of the Innate Health understanding is that everybody is perfect and whole—but for their thinking—this kind of stacks up, doesn't it?
There's no ‘better’ or ‘worse’, ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in that kind of conversation. Just an invitation to look *towards* that perfection, that wholeness, and tap into the profound transformative power it holds.
😲
My own realisation, after 46 years, that there was [****nothing** ***actually** **wrong with me**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-me/) (an innocent, conditioned belief I hadn't even been aware that I'd been operating from, my entire life) led to the most **s*weeping changes imaginable.
**Just for a moment, reflect on how differently someone would show up in any situation, coming from these two different places:*
*a) I'm ok*
*b) I'm not ok*
That's the promise of the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com).
But of course we're brought up in a world of teachers and teaching, of experts and knowledge acquisition, because when we're young we have no experience of the world, and we learn from those who have come before us.
So it's maybe natural to expect that when we enter into this transaction with a ‘helper’, in order to make some sort of change in our lives, part of that transaction is that they ‘know’ and we ‘don't know’.
Hierarchy.
Whereas the reality is a bit more akin to us being invited to see that we've *always* known, we've just forgotten.
💖
In yesterday's **Daily Reminder**, I shared the [necessary ingredients for change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) and pointed out that it's a two way street: *I* have to satisfy those three criteria *too*, if any of that tapping-into-the-transformative-power-of-perfection-and-wholeness malarkey is going to occur.
And I shared a little story about how, when I spotted that I was about to fail one of them—being present—I did something about that:
[Necessary ingredients for changeThe three things everybody needs, to get the change they want, whatever it is 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)
So fundamental, you could almost call them ‘Principles’.
As someone in the helping profession, the first two of those are the easiest to spot and to deal with, in myself.
But the third—staying open—is the one that it's easiest to trip over.
Because that notion of hierarchy (a manifestation of ego, naturally 🙄) is so ingrained in our human conditioning, it would be really easy to enter into a conversation believing that I ‘know’ and you ‘don't know’.
Which is bunkum.
So I do my level best to show up as a blank sheet to every conversation. I have no idea what's going to happen. I have no agenda of what I want, or need you to ‘understand’.
The less of the Giles Ego Construct 📦 there is in a conversation, the more likely some magic is going to happen.
💖
I'm fumbling my way through this human existence in the same way you are and there's every chance that you'll see something I haven't seen before!! (In fact, given the fact you're living in *your* ‘reality’, I'm kinda banking on that 😆)
This was never more apparent to me than when someone responded to one of my old favourite Daily Reminders: [Incredible resilience](https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/).
[Incredible resilienceResilience is not something that can be ‘built’ or ‘trained’ – it’s an inbuilt capacity that remains unchanged 😻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/)
This one tells you EVERYTHING you need to know about the “R”-word.
They simply said,
> *“Loved that analogy on how we create worlds. Thanks Giles.”*
…and my jaw dropped.
I wrote that piece. I've read it and shared it many times. It *feels* like it goes so deeply into the heart of the concept of resilience, that there's not really anything else to see there.
And yet I had *never* made the connection between this post all about [Minecraft](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minecraft?ref=gilespcroft.com)—my daughter's beloved world-building app—and the way in which we too create worlds, made out of Thought.
In spite of that being my job.
🤦🏻♂️😂
So yeah. In case you were wondering. It's a level playing field here.
💟
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Necessary ingredients for change
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/
Last updated: 2026-04-25T22:20:32.000Z
Whether it's a habit or behaviour that we want to change; getting ourselves unstuck from a position we've held on something for a long time; or just getting a fresh outlook on the circumstances we find ourselves in, I've seen that there are three necessary ingredients for change.
I say ‘seen’, because I don't remember being *told* these three things, or reading about them anywhere. Having worked with hundreds of people over the years, I just got there in my own sweet time!
I think it became most obvious to me when I was running back to back workshops with various groups of social care staff. The volume of people through the doors was so high, I started to see patterns.
These days I make a point of ‘laying down the law’ with any group or 1:1 client I start working with, because they're *so* crucial a part of the change process.
So here we go, Giles’ version of how to get the change you want. They're not complicated (the good, really powerful stuff never is), but they're necessary.
## First ingredient 🥣
The first thing one must do is **show up**.
(I told you they weren't complicated, didn't I?! 😆)
Now this may seem almost *too* obvious a thing, but it is critical. I've been sharing this unique, sometimes [contrary-sounding](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/) understanding long enough now to have seen pretty much every category of mind-reaction to it going!
And one of those is avoidance.
The mind hears that *it's* ‘the problem’ and it (quite understandably) freaks out. But minds are sneaky, so it does it *really* subtly.
It tells people they've got better ways of spending their time. It reminds them that they ‘already know all this’. Or it concludes, very quickly, that ‘this isn't going to help’.
And how that manifests is not showing up.
Therefore, if I'm running a course with a group of people (or starting out on a 1:1 journey with a client), I will get this fact out into the open, right up front: *“You might not want to come back, next time. You need to spot the mind doing that, and show up anyway.”*
So that's the first necessary ingredient for change:
1️⃣
Show up.
## Second ingredient 🥣
The second thing one must do is **be present**.
Again, it's not rocket science, and this one generally makes sense to people. Although it's good to explain exactly *why*.
When, generally speaking, we're trying to get some perspective on, and some distance from this:
…then it makes sense to *not* be ferreting around in it all the time we're looking in the direction of innate health/presence/wisdom/potential/fresh perspectives.
*None* of these things sit inside that box. They are ‘[unknown unknowns](https://www.gilespcroft.com/unknown-unknowns/)’ and the only way we're going to really **hear**, or **see**, or **know** something new, is to not be in it.
So I'll insist that people switch off the usual distractions (there are [so many these days](https://www.gilespcroft.com/distractions-and-common-sense/)!) to get them in the right frame of mind, but I'll also point out that having a chat with yourself in your own head counts as ‘not being present’ too!
And I'll encourage people to stick their hand up with questions, get stuff down on paper, or in the chat if it's online, so that they can go back to being present and open to the process of change.
That's the second necessary ingredient for change:
2️⃣
Be present.
## Third ingredient 🥣
The third thing one must do is **stay open**.
This is a bit of a riff on the old adage, *‘If you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you're getting’* … and that includes the way you're seeing things.
So another way of expressing this one, that I sometimes put out there if I'm feeling a little bit cheeky is **be willing to be wrong**.
As in more wrong than you've ever been. Wrong about the entire way you're seeing the whole of your life!
(Which, as I type it, seems an *outrageous* thing to say, and I can see why we all stay stuck so much of the time, me included!! 😂🤣)
But it's ok. It's only the Reader Ego Construct 📦 that's ‘wrong’ here… and we're trying to get some perspective on, and some distance from that, remember?
🤷
So there you have it, the three necessary ingredients for change – three things that are such fundamental requirements, I think they could *almost* fit into the ‘Principles’ category.
💡
1\. Show up
2\. Be present
3\. Stay open
## It's a two way street
Now it's important to note that these apply to *me* too, when I'm doing my thing. So I'll check in with myself before I start any session—group, or individual—to see how I measure up against them.
Because if I can't satisfy these three basic criteria for change, ain't no change gonna be happening in *this* session! 😆
And I will do whatever it takes to realise them.
So for instance, the other day, in the immediate run up to a session with one of my clients—literally as I was walking through the door to my office, cup of tea in hand—I had a brilliant idea.
And then I had to launch Zoom and get into it with them.
I'd satisfied the *first* necessary ingredient for change (**showing up**), but I knew that if I didn't get this brilliant idea out of my head and onto paper immediately, it would either:
- distract me (which meant I would be missing the *second* ingredient – **being present**), or
- be gone forever
So I apologised, let them know what I was doing (and why), suggested they consider preparing themselves in a similar fashion, and we spent the first five minutes of our session together clearing our respective minds, ready for change to occur.
💖
## How about you?
You've reached this far on a fairly lengthy **Daily Reminder**. Which means I reckon you've satisfied two of those criteria:
1. Show up
2. Be present
All that remains, for you to see the change you want to see, is your willingness to **be wrong** about something…
😘
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Syd would not approve
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/syd-would-not-approve/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T19:57:04.000Z
So [recently I looked at](https://www.gilespcroft.com/using-ai-as-a-tool/) how I do—and do not—use AI.
And I *promise…* this **Daily Reminder** will be the last one for a long while where I talk about the topic, but I just couldn’t let this video slide.
As far as I can tell, it landed on social media for the first time two weeks ago, and since then, the original 1m46s [video on Twitter/X](https://x.com/CalumWorthy/status/1988283207138324487?ref=gilespcroft.com) alone has had more than ***40 million views!!***
😵💫
(Those kinds of numbers get the old Giles Ego Construct 📦 pretty twitchy and indignant about my [YouTube channel’s statistics](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLfJ4-7usHSPUYJ6ENsYAww?sub%5Fconfirmation=1&ref=gilespcroft.com) 😆)
Anyway, if you haven’t seen it, hold on to your hat and watch it now.
I say “hold on to your hat” because if you’ve yet to watch, or read about it, it’s going to be nigh on impossible *not* to have a visceral reaction to it.
(I end up yelling at the screen every time every time I watch it!!! 🤣)
This is a use of AI that—for me—takes us down a very, very slippery slope.
You may feel very differently. We all live in separate realities and I absolutely respect yours.
Enjoy the ride…
0:00
/1:47
1×
**My 11½yo daughter—who lost her own beloved grandmother five years ago—*[**watched this*](https://youtu.be/UFenaK4wIsw?ref=gilespcroft.com "Opens YouTube in a new browser window") *and concluded,* ***“That is SUCH a bad idea!!!”**
I am left almost speechless.
*Almost.*
On one hand I’m absolutely blown away at how effectively this taps into the 3 Principles – the fact that we live in—and crucially ***feel***—a thought-created perceptual reality. Here’s a company taking that fact and running with it in a way I’d not even contemplated before. It’s astonishing.
And on the other hand… OMFG WTF were they thinking?!?! 😳😲😱🤯😩😠
I mean, seriously! Just ’cos you *can* do something, doesn’t mean you *should!!*
😱
Are we **this* afraid of our own natural human emotions now, that we go to **these* lengths, to avoid them?
You only have to scan through the comments below the [original Twitter/X post](https://x.com/CalumWorthy/status/1988283207138324487?ref=gilespcroft.com) to get a flavour of some of the implications of technology like this (and other people’s visceral reactions to it).
Then put your phone down, go make a cup of tea and go out of your way to make a human connection with another living soul. Please!
I shall close with the words of someone else who’s no longer with us, and without whom, the **Daily Reminders** wouldn’t exist. He was a real person who said real things that implored you to look for a deeper truth to your life… rather than avoiding it!
If I could sum up how I feel about the video above, it would be with this simple statement:
[](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#video)
[Watch some Syd videos](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#video) for free!
💟
Giles
p.s. On the subject of grief and grieving, here's me in conversation with Dr Amy Johnson on her podcast Changeable:
[EP94: Grief and Death with Giles CroftPodcast Episode · Changeable Podcast · 04/05/2020 · 52mApple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ep94-grief-and-death-with-giles-croft/id1434131959?i=1000473501885&ref=gilespcroft.com)
The stories we tell ourselves about grief, and what that means for our experience.
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/nGoKp?ref=gilespcroft.com)
In this 1h40m ****Video Masterclass** we pick apart the social norms, examine the beliefs we hold and hear lots of stories of grief and loss, as we work towards two goals:
1. Seeing that there are no rules when it comes to grief (so any experience of it is ok)
2. Learning how to be fine with whatever emotions show up.
It’s a gentle, thought-provoking 1½ hours that will provide you with an entirely fresh perspective on grief, loss and death, so settle in and listen for insight.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/nGoKp?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Using AI as a tool
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/using-ai-as-a-tool/
Last updated: 2025-11-26T07:12:59.000Z
If there’s one thing we can say about the Daily Reminders, it’s that they’re ***not*** AI-powered.
It’s bloody *everywhere* these days, isn’t it?!
A fact that is gloriously lampooned in this *hilarious* strip from my favourite Guardian cartoonist, [***Stephen Collins***](https://www.stephencollinsillustration.com/guardian-comics/?ref=gilespcroft.com)*:*
[](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/picture/2025/nov/07/give-peas-a-chance-even-ai-peas-the-stephen-collins-cartoon?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Full cartoon [linked here](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/picture/2025/nov/07/give-peas-a-chance-even-ai-peas-the-stephen-collins-cartoon?ref=gilespcroft.com)
It’s six panels-wide and two deep, so if you want to view the whole thing (it just gets funnier and funnier and funnier) click on the image, or the link beneath it.
*“THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI JANET!!”*
😂🫛🤖🫛😂
And I made a point, didn’t I, when I sent you my [Daily Reminders Pledge](https://www.gilespcroft.com/daily-reminders-pledge/) the other day, that:
> *“I'm not about to go outsourcing these outpourings of love for you, to our robot overlords. It's just not a thing. As time goes by, Al is becoming omnipresent, so *I'm sure I'll mention it*. I'm a tech nerd, so I don't shy away from using it either. Just not for writing.”*
And here I am, mentioning it.
Because it’s bloody *everywhere* these days, isn’t it?!
---
What I’m most conscious of, as I sit here typing this, at the back end of 2025, is that any post written about ‘AI’ (*Artificial Intelligence*, for anyone who’s surely *actually* living under a rock?!) will be immediately, and horribly dated.
(Back when the first one came on the scene, I recorded a video all about how [AI is quite possibly the best metaphor](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-chat-bot-in-your-head/) for the computer-mind we could ever hope for. And while it’s still absolutely bang on the money, in terms of that distinction, it also seems subtly tinged with naivety now, not even 2 years later.)
[A chat bot in your headIt’s not just AI that hallucinates answers. Your left brain does it all. the. time. 🤖😬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-chat-bot-in-your-head/)
It’s a longer, more reflective video, to relax into (🎥 7min)
The pace that this stuff is moving is breathtaking, and I don’t think we can comprehend where it’s going to carry us.
So I’ll try and keep it general. (While at the same time bookmarking this one, to come back to, and laugh at.)
## **Generative vs. Creative**
As far as the [technology adoption life cycle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Technology%5Fadoption%5Flife%5Fcycle?ref=gilespcroft.com) goes, I’m not a laggard, but neither am I an early adopter. I’d say I mostly exhibit the behaviour of a cautious early majority-type person.
I like to tinker. And I like an easy life. So if there’s something that can help me, I’ll use it.
Example: setting up the **Daily Reminders** new home, moving platform – these were tasks that involved a ton of unknowns; a plethora of new skills. AI was quite helpful with that. It reduced the amount of searching around, figuring stuff out, scouring forums and the like (although there was still a fair bit of that, too).
A friend helped me with some back-end website stuff, and AI was useful here too, in a technical capacity. (Scarily, so. Especially for my friend 😬)
But when we start approaching the more human (or should I say spiritual?) tasks, the wheels come off very quickly. (Here at the back end of 2025.) Anything to do with connection, or *feeling* my way into a problem, or ***intuition***—these gifts we’ve been given—just no.
A distinction a colleague of mine brought out recently was that:
💡
****AI** is **generative* (recycling what is already there), whereas
****Humans** are **creative* (channelling the energy of life into novel forms)
I like that.
## **The statue-in-stone method**
Right now, I’ve observed that the approach I use with AI is akin to the one I’ve implicitly used with career change, over the last 25 years.
It’s what I think of as the **statue-in-stone method**, for creating a life.
Inside the block of stone is a beautiful, perfectly rendered statue. And my job is to chip away everything that’s *not*\-statue, revealing more and more of my TRUE NATURE as time goes by.
From a career and life-change perspective, whenever I’ve been wanting to head in a particular direction, I’ve done my research. I’ve asked lots of questions. I’ve got training. I’ve taken advice.
But then we hit that wonderful Joseph Campbell quote, don’t we?
> *“If you can see your path laid out in front of you, step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take.”*
So almost by definition, everything you learn then needs to be ignored! (It’s crazy, and minds hate it.) All the advice; all the modelling of others – it’s just a tool, chipping away *not*\-Me, in order for me to express more and more Me.
(That’s a helpful image you can carry with you, when it feels like you’re continually making one mistake after another. *“Just more chippin’ away what’s not-Me,”* I mutter, under my breath 😆)
## **AI as a tool**
I seem to use AI in the same way.
I’ll feel stuck on a problem. I’ll remember AI is a thing. I’ll ask it a question. Sometimes it immediately sparks curiosity (in the same way that web search results might), and I’m off to the races. It’s served its (‘generative’) purpose and I’m present to life/in (‘creative’) flow again.
But sometimes I’ll forget it’s just a tool and I’ll start speaking with it intellect-to-intellect (Giles Ego Construct 📦 to AI Ego Construct 🤖 lol), wanting answers to problems now, Now, NOW! in [that way that our minds tend to](https://www.gilespcroft.com/make-the-decision-now/).
And because it’s an agreeable bastard (here at the back end of 2025) it’ll bend over backwards ‘on my behalf’, hoovering up the entire internet and coming back to me with things like structure, plans, steps it thinks would be a good idea for me to take etc. (If you’ve ever used it, you’ll recognise this sycophancy.)
But my path forward is a *creative* task, not a *generative* one and AI is the wrong tool for the job. Thankfully, here at the back end of 2025, I’m aware of this and when I look at that structure, those plans and the steps it’s advising me to take, it’s so *obviously* lifeless bollocks—so clearly a manifestation of *not*\-Me—that I fall out of the AI spell and see myself holding a tool once more.
The light goes on, I see my path a lot more clearly (because AI has chipped away another bit of *not*\-Me for me) and I’m back, ‘being a creative being’, once more.
## **What it *doesn’t* get used for**
Writing. This is a no-AI writing zone.
[You have my word](https://www.gilespcroft.com/daily-reminders-pledge/).
🚫🤖
Giles
p.s. The title of the [comic](https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/picture/2025/nov/07/give-peas-a-chance-even-ai-peas-the-stephen-collins-cartoon?ref=gilespcroft.com) is “Give peas a chance” 😂🫛🤖
### Your next reads
[Seeing the pathA selection of career path-related quotes to drum some common-sense into you! 👨🏻🏫The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/seeing-the-path/)
[“I want to make the decision now!”Minds like to think they can keep us happy by bending the world to their will. 🗜️🌎The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/make-the-decision-now/)
### Correlations
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/correlations/
Last updated: 2026-08-26T10:31:52.000Z
We've talked before, about the difference between correlation and causation, and how the mind not only chucks the whole idea into the bin as ‘not important/too much like school’ but also blurs the boundary between the two, in a way that sets us up to fail.
Most recently we talked about how [‘bad’ feelings get lumped in](https://www.gilespcroft.com/causal-upgrades/) with what's happening, and a while back, we also looked at the other side of this outside-in coin – when we [innocently put our ‘good’ feelings onto something](https://www.gilespcroft.com/correlation-and-causation/) we're doing… which comes with its own particular set of issues.
So today, I want to look at how both of those relate to making productivity a lot easier. Because we all like to Get Stuff Done™ don't we?
## Mood and Quality
I was in conversation with a client, who was asking me about my process of writing, which, strangely enough, I hadn't really given *that* much thought.
They wanted to know:
- Whether I had a routine
- Where my ideas came from
- How easy or hard it was to write regularly
- Did I do them one at a time, or in batches
- Whether I saw variations in quality, from my perspective.
To which my answers (in brief, here) were:
- Not really, no.
- Life. Can't seem to turn the tap off.
- So much easier than the Giles Ego Construct 📦 had imagined (almost as if it was what I was put on this earth to do)
- Mostly the former, but occasionally the latter (if I do too much of the latter, it's easy to get complacent and forget that I write for a living).
…and then we got to the last one, and that was really interesting for me to consider.
Because there are times when I feel absolutely inspired and what comes out floods the page with content that seems almost pre-written, and has me chuckling away to myself as I'm writing it, thinking *“Oh my god, they're so going to love this one!”*
And then there are times when I feel absolutely inspired and yet what comes out is a jumbled, incoherent mess, that gets written, re-written and sometimes abandoned entirely.
There are also times when I approach my computer almost in terror, such is the poor state of mind I'm in, and the best I can do is to drag up a meme I stored away for a rainy day, and have done with it.
And then there are times when I'm in a really poor state of mind and as soon as I sit down and start writing, pure unadulterated genius comes pouring out.
And of course what I'm trying to say here is that:
😮
****THERE'S NO CORRELATION**!!
There really does seem to be no correlation whatsoever between how I feel and the quality of what gets written. What shows up, shows up.
Which kind of freaked me out for a while at first, but then I realised was a huge weight off my mind, because all I had to do was show up and write!!
**It didn't matter how I felt.**
Total game changer (an insight without which, I don't think the Daily Reminders would still be a thing)!
And it's one for you to keep hold of. It will help you, going forwards.
As always, don't believe me – look for the evidence in your own life. See the disconnect between how you feel and what's showing up. It's a correlation *at best*. (It's not causal, that's for sure.)
## Quality and Mood
Of course there are dimensions to this, aren't there?
What's ‘good’ in my eyes in one mood, will be ‘rubbish’ in another – the whole thing's entirely subjective.
(And when I say ‘the whole thing,’ you know I'm not just talking about my writing yeah? I'm talking about *all of it* – life!)
And as my client wisely pointed out, given the whole separate realities thing, what I (i.e. the Giles Ego Construct 📦) deem to be quality writing may leave others cold.
Gratefully, I'm pleased to report it's usually the other way round: I'll put out something that feels like I could have done so much better… and an hour later, one of you will email me to say it's the best Daily Reminder I've ever written!!
😂
I love you guys, I really do. You keep me going with your enthusiasm, your love for the Daily Reminders and most importantly, your ability to stick a pin in any misconceptions of correlation I might innocently be holding!
Thank you.
💝
Giles
p.s. I'm serious about this being an important one to see – it's pretty life changing to get a handle on not needing to feel a particular way (e.g. enthused, inspired, alert, calm) before showing up and doing the work.
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The peril of “causal upgrades”What happens when a monkey-mind upgrades a correlation 🐒The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/causal-upgrades/)
When it looks like BAD STUFF is ‘making us’ FEEL BAD
[Correlation and causationWhy that thing you love to do, doesn’t actually “make you” happy. 🫠The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/correlation-and-causation/)
GOOD STUFF is great! Until you become dependent on it, to FEEL GOOD
### You don't have to get stuff right
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-have-to-get-stuff-right/
Last updated: 2025-11-24T13:29:26.000Z
I mean, do you know this? As in really *know* it, deep down?
Because it looks like we *do* have to get stuff right, doesn’t it? Otherwise there will be ‘bad’ consequences and… (and what? I don’t know. We’ll *feel* bad or something? Heaven forfend! 😆)
Now I’m not talking about brain surgery here, obviously (although, I’m sure every neurosurgeon could wax lyrical about the shades of grey they have to deal with every day).
I’m talking about day to day decisions. The choices we make. The paths we take.
⚠️
****You don’t have to get stuff right.**
So give yourself permission to be wrong! It’s just not that important.
I’d say 95% of right and wrong is mind- or society-created. There’s no book on a shelf anywhere that says, **This Is How You Do It Right.**
(The other 5% is probably enshrined into law, and you can do that ‘wrong’ if you like, but there will be fairly well documented consequences.)
I’ve seen this more and more, ploughing my own furrow since leaving medicine, nigh on 25 years ago. The choices made, the paths taken… how *on earth* am I supposed to say any of those were ‘right’ or ‘wrong’?!
Crackers!
And yet, when we’re in the middle of it (“it” being the mind’s chitter-chatter about our current circumstances) it all seems *really* important, doesn’t it?
🤨
Take the strapline for the new Daily Reminders website, that I asked my community for feedback on, the other week. At the time, it felt super-important to ‘get right’. I umm’ed and I ahh’d about it for ages. I weighed up pros and cons. I asked you!
What I’d chosen—*Human connection in the artificial age*—felt ‘right’ at the time, and then, after some feedback, I realised it wasn’t. (We’re back to a more direct *‘Think less. Live more.’* in case you were wondering.)
And that’s fine.
**You don’t have to get stuff right.**
## It’s not on us, anyway
I can’t for the life in me remember which book I saw it in (either Susan Jeffers’ [*Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway*](https://amzn.to/3KfjUHn?ref=gilespcroft.com), or Pam Slim’s [*Escape from Cubicle Nation*](https://amzn.to/4pu30nA?ref=gilespcroft.com)*;* those two were my bibles, back in the early days) but there’s a diagram that at one point I printed out and had stuck to my computer screen.
I can’t find *that*, either, but I can remember it, because it’s etched into my brain.
It was simply a line, moving diagonally upwards in a vague direction, zig-zagging around and saying “Oops!” every time it went off course.
Here you go, I’ve reproduced it for you:
I'm a writer, not an artist.
And to me, this is life. It looks like we’re in control and at each of those inflection points; that Giles is making a conscious decision to change course and ‘correct’ things.
But what if that’s not the case?
What if life’s living us, pulling us in a general direction that’s in keeping with our authentic desires, and then the mind’s looking in on all that stuff and bigging itself up and saying “I did that.”
When it really didn’t.
What if ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ are mind creations – just a story, or a set of rules it’s come up with for itself, overlaid on this amazing thing we call life?
What if…?
How would that make you feel, knowing that today? 🤔
Why not **go do some stuff**, and find out what happens.
🚀
Giles
### Silence is where it's at
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/silence-is-where-its-at/
Last updated: 2025-12-08T14:00:34.000Z
This is the punchline from a comic that I follow. You can [read the full thing here](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/conspiracy-2?ref=gilespcroft.com), but it’s the last bit that really grabbed my attention.
Aliens are surveying our downfall, and concluding:
[](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/conspiracy-2?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“Imagine billions of tiny brains whose only connection is language.”*
Because YES! If we really were limited to language as our sole means of communication, “that’d do it” indeed.
Language—a largely left brain, intellectual attribute—is merely a metaphor for something much, much deeper.
A veneer, applied thinly over who-we-really-are.
Language is just pattern-matching and categorisation, based on shared rules.
It’s fine as a *tool* (I mean, I mustn’t knock it – it’s what I use here in the Daily Reminders, every day!) but it’s only a pointer. It’s not “it.”
**Silence is where “it” is at.**
- Which is why two people sitting in presence can feel a deep sense of connection.
- Why all the heavy lifting is done in client sessions *after* we stop talking.
- Why you sense your place in the universe when out in nature, or maybe in silent prayer.
Language is all “after the fact.”
Connection is there *before* the word.
So now put aside your screen—and this language—and just spend a moment doing what you were put on this earth to do: Being. You.
---
In doing so, recall these words of Hafiz (it’s been a while)!
> **Curfews**
> Noise is a cruel ruler
> Who is always imposing curfews,
> While stillness and quiet
> Break open the vintage bottles.
> Awake the real band!
💟
Giles
### Distractions and common sense
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/distractions-and-common-sense/
Last updated: 2025-11-24T11:13:55.000Z
We like to keep it real here at the Daily Reminders and I’m not ashamed to say that *man*, I’m distracted at the moment.
In kind of a good way, but distracted nonetheless. I haven’t had a brain this buzzy and full of ideas for ages. Ping! Zip! K-pow! it’s going.
Big project, innit? Hard deadlines. Lots of moving pieces. Emails. Documents. Decisions. Web pages. Queries. Problems. Testing… it’s all going on.
Constant mental distraction. I’ve got lists to note ideas and tasks down on, but some days there’s so much going on, I can barely keep up.
Lots of insight too, I must add. Walking back from a friend’s house earlier, who’d been helping me with my website, a big old light bulb went off about how to easily solve a problem that surfaced about a week ago.
The old [back burner](https://youtu.be/7dgF3Lm8NFI?ref=gilespcroft.com) is simmering away nicely, it seems.
[Putting problems on the ‘back burner’What to do when you don’t have the solution to a problem, right now 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-problems-on-the-back-burner/)
It's worth familiarising yourself with this strategy.
Anyway, the other day I found myself standing in the kitchen at 2pm, still in my pyjamas and dressing gown, making an umpteenth cup of tea and realising that I hadn’t come anywhere *close* to sitting down and getting focused enough to write a Daily Reminder.
I had about 5 open threads that my mind was trying to address all at once, and I knew that if I sat back down at my desk again, I’d be chasing them all physically too.
So I did that thing. That human thing we can all do; the one that really helps:
💡
****I took the briefest of pauses to check in with myself.**
I realised that being upstairs, near my computer, was not an option, if I wanted to get quiet and write.
So I grabbed my iPad and sat at the kitchen table instead. Needs must. Worked until it was done.
Nothing fancy, no whizz-bang techniques or anything.
Just [working with the mind, not against it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/) and using some good old fashioned common sense.
That’s something we all have, built in.
Remember to slow down and use it from time to time!
💟
Giles
p.s. As is so often the case, that last sentence aimed at the Giles Ego Construct 📦, as much as the Reader Ego Construct 📦 – don't take it personally!
### Your next read
[Work with the mind, not against itThe only toolkit you’ll ever need 🧰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)
### The Daily Reminders Pledge
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/daily-reminders-pledge/
Last updated: 2025-11-22T15:33:20.000Z
Where I'm coming from, why I do this, and how the site is funded.
💝
### Lessons from the animal kingdom
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/lessons-from-the-animal-kingdom/
Last updated: 2026-07-25T08:30:02.000Z
The other day, in the ‘Sunday Spiritual’ **Daily Reminder**, when we were discussing the notion of separate realities, I casually mentioned that some animals see different colours from us. If you missed that one, you can read it here:
[“No sunrise for you!”What we mean when we say “It’s all made up.” ✋🏻⌨️🤚🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/no-sunrise-for-you/)
But did you know that other animals don’t just see different colours, they inhabit completely different realities from us?
And as I was writing, I recalled that I have spoken about this previously, in one of my [Video Masterclasses](https://payhip.com/gilespcroft/collection/video-masterclasses?ref=gilespcroft.com). It’s a phenomenon called “Umwelt” and it’s absolutely fascinating!
Here’s [a short (2 min) video](https://youtu.be/S3Ty3ADtCTE?ref=gilespcroft.com) of me talking you through how it works… and of course the IMPLICATIONS for you:
In true Inception fashion… the video I reference **within* that video can be watched here: [https://bigthink.com/series/explain-it-like-im-smart/animal-senses/](https://bigthink.com/series/explain-it-like-im-smart/animal-senses/?ref=gilespcroft.com) (9 mins) 🦋
As they say, in the accompanying blurb:
> *Every animal has its own thin slice of the fullness of reality that it can detect, known as “umwelt.”*
>
> *Even though we all inhabit the same planet, each species experiences it very differently.*
>
> *No animal can sense everything. There is so much sensory information in the world, that detecting all of it would be overwhelming. It’s also unnecessary for survival.*
And here’s the key: Of course we are animals on this planet and of course we are one of those species.
But within us, between us – each of us gets our own thin slice of the fullness of reality; each of us experiences life *very* differently; each of us is *entirely* unique.
Just like everybody else.
😉
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[8+ billion separate realitiesThere’s some stuff you know, right? But what if you’re wrong? 😳The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/)
### A solution so obvious
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-solution-so-obvious/
Last updated: 2025-11-27T20:52:05.000Z
At 1am today, giving my brain something other than work to feast on before sleep, I finished Stephen King’s latest short stories book.
It wasn’t bad—not quite as good as his past 6 years of full length novels, which have been a truly *masterful* return to form—but an effective way for me drift off, instead of trying to go from 100 miles an hour to pillow in one fell swoop.
I’m human. That just ain’t gonna fly.
At the ends of his books, especially his collections, he usually gives a bit of writer’s insight into his inspirations and his method – something I always look forward to. (His non-fiction book “[On Writing](https://amzn.to/4qX6uAm?ref=gilespcroft.com)” is essential reading for any aspiring wordsmith.) My own, personal take on the process is available as a longer read + audio in the store:
🛒 AVAILABLE IN THE STORE
[](https://payhip.com/b/hSI8P?ref=gilespcroft.com)
****“No blame, no claim, no shame, no fame”**
**An exploration of the creative process.*
Includes:
✒️ Magazine-calibre article
🎙️ Audio narrated version.
[Check it out ](https://payhip.com/b/hSI8P?ref=gilespcroft.com)
These bits, from his Afterword, struck a chord with my own experience:
> “I’ve written about the ***act*** of writing… but I still don’t understand it.
>
> “I rarely know the details, or how the stories are supposed to finish up; part of the joy, for me, at least, is in the discovery. Why this process works, or how it works, is a complete mystery to me.
>
> “I have done what was given to me to do, and mostly it’s been a joy to me.”
That’s one of the world’s finest (and prolific) novelists there, ladies and gentlemen, basking in the unfathomable wonder of Universal Mind flowing through him.
💖
I say this, because [yesterday’s Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/causal-upgrades/) was a bit of a sleeves-rolled-up, come-on-let’s-figure-this-out kind of thing (they have their place; and like King said, it’s folly to make out like I choose what comes out).
It went in a very different direction from how I… sorry, the Giles Ego Construct 📦 thought it was going to, and reading it back I realise that in digging, digging, digging down into the *detail* of the human experience, I omitted the very simple punchline. (“Hoist with my own petard,” you could say!)
## A solution so obvious
I often use this image, when I deliver keynotes that demand slides:
[](https://condenaststore.com/featured/yup-im-guessing-theres-your-problem-christopher-weyant.html?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Cartoon by Christopher Weyant | [Link to Original](https://condenaststore.com/featured/yup-im-guessing-theres-your-problem-christopher-weyant.html?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Because the solution, is the *opposite* of everything I spoke of yesterday.
Everything I spoke of [yesterday](https://www.gilespcroft.com/causal-upgrades/) was complex, and detailed and if it’s “not that,” then it’s got to be something short and sweet.
🎯
It's presence.
Being present to these interactions with other human beings in the workplace.
Letting life come through you—guiding you; writing the story of every moment!—rather than second guessing and analysing and doing “[people prep](https://www.gilespcroft.com/people-prep/).”
Being.
Now.
It’s when/where/how we thrive!
💟
Giles
### Your next reads
[The peril of “causal upgrades”What happens when monkey-minds take a correlation and upgrade it to a causal relationship 🐒The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/causal-upgrades/)
[“People prep”What exactly does your mind think it’s trying to achieve here? 🗒️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/people-prep/)
### The peril of “causal upgrades”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/causal-upgrades/
Last updated: 2026-02-03T22:02:04.000Z
I was working with a client who was having a tough time of it at work.
People weren’t all that nice. There was a fair bit of dickish, ego-based behaviour going around and it was all a bit stressful. Verging on ‘toxic.’
We can all relate, because we’ve all been there.
They wanted to know what to do about it; how to respond. How to feel less under attack all the time, basically.
So we slowed down and started to look at the MECHANICS of how this workplace situation was being experienced.
🔎
At the most fundamental level, there’s a bunch of meaningless data being picked up by the senses, and the mind is asking itself the same old question it *always* asks:
> 🧠🤖 *What must be ‘true’ for me to be receiving this particular set of data?*
It then delivers its conclusion, in the form of our moment-to-moment felt experience. (‘Reality’, if you’re in the mood for slapping labels on stuff today.)
Nothing controversial about that. It’s basic neuroscience.
Granted, it’s not your run of the mill take on how we perceive situations but we’re soooooo not about ‘run of the mill takes’ here at the Daily Reminders!!🤨
(I’m guessing that’s why you keep showing up.)
Anyway, when the mind is scratting around, rifling through its personal records of how-stuff-is, in order to furnish you with its conclusion (i.e. the version of ‘reality’ you get), it’s using the contents of your Thought System 📦 to do so.
Ah.
## **Pandora’s Box** 📦
Now, there’s some nonsense in there, isn’t there? We know this.
Maybe some bad stuff, too. Childhood. All that crap your parents laid on you. Playground bullies. Previous work situations. This morning’s news headlines, even! 😱
*All* of it is in the mix, when the mind is inhaling all of this meaningless data from your environment and turning it into something you can use: Your felt experience.
That’s *so* important to see.
Because whatever the mind’s up to in that very moment—including whichever of those ‘bad bits’ it’s chosen to double down on today—that’s what you’re going to get.
It’s almost as if the mind is cheating you out of what’s *happening*, in order to give you *its* *take* on what’s happening, depending on whatever mood it’s in!
Which is a bit harsh, when you think about it.
But, dear reader, it gets worse.
## **There’s more!**
Because as if that wasn’t bad enough, it’s then going to *take* that experience it’s furnished you with and try and set up a rule (because minds are cheeky little computers that like to run predictive algorithms 🤖) and before you know it, you’ve got yourself a pretty solid correlation going on.
- Bad workplace behaviour seems to go hand in hand with feeling stressed
- Your kid screams at you and you find yourself in fight or flight
- A full inbox seems to be associated with feelings of overwhelm and inadequacy
- Interactions with a particular person seem to always end in tears/anger/disappointment
There's nothing *wrong* with any of this – it's just what minds do. But minds are also ~~lazy~~ good at energy conservation, and if they can get away with furnishing you with the same old response time and time again, they will.
They don’t *really* want to have to go making up new deductive pathways all the time, so you’ll get layers and layers of these correlations, and before you know it…
## **There’s even more!**
Yup, you’ve guessed it. The mind takes that correlation it’s worked so hard at proving and gives it what I refer to as a ‘causal upgrade’.
It puts on its best outside-in suit and states boldly that the feeling it’s created for you is actually being *caused* by the meaningless environmental data:
- You’re feeling stressed *because* of the bad work behaviour
- You feel shame and guilt *because* your kid screamed at you
- You feel inadequate *because* there are lots of unanswered emails
- You’re angry *because* of having a conversation with that person.
And I hate to say this, but it will continue to do this—[pattern-matching](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pattern-matching-relationships/); seeing what it *expects* to see—and it will keep on giving you a tough time of things until someone comes along, grasps you gently but firmly by the shoulders and reminds you that ***IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT!!!!***
(Hi 👋🏻)
## **Solutions please Giles – I’m here for solutions!!**
Well, just seeing that this game of mind-charades is going on all the time is enough for it to lose some of its power. When you shine a light on its bad behaviour and see it for what it is—more useless mind rubbish you don’t have to take seriously—it retreats, somewhat sheepishly.
There’s nothing you have to do (there’s nothing you *can* do) at the time. The more you look in this direction, the more situations will just start to change, themselves.
- Bad work behaviour will happen, and you see a person attached to their own thinking
- Your kid screams at you and you see they’re scared
- There are a bazillion emails and… [oh well](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-two-favourite-words/) 🤷🏻♂️
- You see that person and notice something you have in common for the first time.
That’s the beauty of this exploration. Because we’re talking about the principles behind how we experience the world, [all you have to do](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) is show up, be present, retain an open mind and look for the evidence in your own life… and things *will* change.
Guaranteed.
## **Pro-Level Answer**
Ok, if you’re going to push me for an answer to the question:
> *“How do I feel less under attack all the time?”*
It’s to explore a little more deeply **what it is that looks like it’s under attack**.
But that’s another story for another day.
🧐
Giles
p.s. If your mind's scrabbling around desperately, saying *“WHUT?!”* after reading this, it's ok. Either step away and let it percolate for a bit, or read some more [MECHANICS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mechanics/)\-themed Daily Reminders.
(Or post your questions in the comments below. Or just [drop me a line](mailto:dr@gilespcroft.com).)
### Related
[Who’s under attack?Instant pressure-relief for when you’re being yelled at 😮💨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/)
Follow your curiosity, jump in the time machine and carry on reading.
### Learning from the mice
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/learning-from-the-mice/
Last updated: 2026-09-07T20:07:10.000Z
Let’s start the week with a chuckle shall we?
I’ve got two mice-in-mazes cartoons for you; both of which point to the Innate Health understanding.
They riff on the notion that mice get put in mazes to study their behaviour, and that the situation—from the mouse’s perspective—is essentially unwinnable. A sort of [*Kobayashi Maru*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi%5FMaru?ref=gilespcroft.com) test for them. And here are two mice, dealing with that inevitability in two different ways.
What can we learn from these enlightened little creatures?
[](https://www.cartoonstock.com/cartoon?searchID=NL900041&ref=gilespcroft.com)
Cartoon by Adam Cooper & Mat Barton ([Link to original](https://www.cartoonstock.com/cartoon?searchID=NL900041&ref=gilespcroft.com))
Ha! This one harks back to one of my old favourite Daily Reminders: [You can't not see an illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/). The mouse has ceased trying to escape from what is inescapable, and is instead marvelling at the wonder of it all. And in doing so, achieving the freedom it desires.
Look closely and you’ll see it’s even got a maze picture hanging on the wall 😆 We could all definitely learn from this mouse.
---
But my favourite has to be this one:
[](https://www.gocomics.com/long-story-short?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Cartoon by [Daniel Beyer](https://www.gocomics.com/long-story-short?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Brilliant!! For me, this cartoon ***is*** the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com), manifest. It’s almost like you’ve got (complicated, analytical) **Thought Realisation** there on the right, and (simple, clear) **Innate Health** on the left.
Either are fine. [Both are necessary](https://youtu.be/f62DfadMMck?ref=gilespcroft.com).
But we lose our way. We get lost in that seductive, complicated little maze of the analytical mind – so lost, we forget the fact that the clarity of presence is even an option.
Which is why I show up each morning, to remind you.
😘
Giles
p.s. reminds me of that famous saying,
> Q: What's the ***first*** thing you need to know, in order to escape a trap?
> A: That you're in a trap.
It's something I talk about on this podcast episode!
[Ep10:- A Doctor With a Difference (Special Guest Dr Giles P Croft) : The Thought TrapPodcast Episode · The Missing Peace Presents : The Thought Trap · 2025-06-18 · 39mApple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/ep10-a-doctor-with-a-difference-special-guest-dr/id1801723772?i=1000713389716&ref=gilespcroft.com)
### “No sunrise for you!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/no-sunrise-for-you/
Last updated: 2025-12-01T02:18:49.000Z
It’s time for a Sunday Spiritual, where we throw some stuff into the mix that the mind can’t really handle, and see what happens.
✨
In yesterday's **Daily Reminder**—the nattily-titled *“It’s not what happens, it’s how you feel about it”*—I floated the notion that “Your experience of The thing” is an entirely separate prospect from “The thing” itself.
[It’s not what happens, it’s how you feel about it.The one simple distinction that, when truly seen, will change your life forever 🤩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-happens-how-you-feel/)
The truly crazy thing is (and I promise, I will stop using the word “thing” very shortly 🤪), we don’t actually know for sure what “The thing” even is!!
Because we’ll never get to experience it directly, even though it looks like we do.
I mean, I’m sat here, typing on this keyboard and looking at this computer screen and it *really* looks like I’ve got a total handle on what they are – like I’m experiencing them *directly.*
And yet at the same time, I’m not. I can’t be.
All I get is this internally-generated, Thought-created facsimile of “reality” that’s being pieced together, moment by moment, as the psycho-spiritual entity that is Giles continually answers the question,
> *🧠🤖: “What must be “true” for me to be receiving this particular set of data?”*
Take something as straightforward as the keyboard, for instance.
I’ve got such a relationship with the texture and shape of its edge; the layout of the arrow keys, where my fingers so often rest; the tiny signs of grubbiness appearing at the edges of the return key and the space bar; the resistance of the rubber feet underneath, as I move it hither and thither (I only just noticed how much I do this! 😆); the weight of it; the almost imperceptible notch on its edge, where it must have been bashed – these things cannot feel the same to anyone else.
There is not one single being in the Universe that will *experience* this “keyboard” as I do. And yet, experience is *all* we get.
So my experience of it is *real*… but it’s not *true*.
(Literally) “God-only knows” what this keyboard actually ***is***, in “reality.”
I’m not having a felt experience of the keyboard, I’m feeling that little movie of it all that’s being created by the [***3 Principles***](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com): powered by Mind, there’s an experience of Thought, in Consciousness.
😳
It’s enough to make you want to lie down.
---
Me and a client were slip-sliding down this particular rabbit-hole one day, because it’s not just keyboards that shift and metamorphose in the minds of all who encounter them… it’s everything! These bodies. Our opinions. Other people. The future.
And we got to talking about what’s shared. What we can agree on. The stuff that, on the surface of things, looks the same to us.
(It’s what Anil Seth, Professor of Cognitive & Computational Neuroscience calls, “a controlled hallucination.”)
[Your brain hallucinates your conscious realityRight now, billions of neurons in your brain are working together to generate a conscious experience -- and not just any conscious experience, your experience of the world around you and of yourself within it. How does this happen? According to neuroscientist Anil Seth, we’re all hallucinating all the time; when we agree about our hallucinations, we call it “reality.” Join Seth for a delightfully disorienting talk that may leave you questioning the very nature of your existence.TED TalksAnil Seth](https://www.ted.com/talks/anil%5Fseth%5Fyour%5Fbrain%5Fhallucinates%5Fyour%5Fconscious%5Freality?ref=gilespcroft.com)
"We're all hallucinating all the time, even right now. It's just that when we agree about our hallucinations, we call that reality." 😳
We conceded that some things are pretty easy to predict. Colours, for instance. (So long as you’re not colour-blind. Or a dog. [***Or a bee***](https://askabiologist.asu.edu/colors-animals-see?ref=gilespcroft.com), eh?)
Or patterns in the physical world, like the sun rising in the east.
But then we slowed down more still, to question even that.
What is “sun”? What is “east”?
🤔
Labels. Metaphors, for *what* exactly, I don’t know.
“It,” perhaps. “This”?
And what do we *experience* of this so-called sunrise?
Well, most often, nothing. (Certainly this time of year.) It’s not happening in Consciousness therefore we get nothing. Nada.
Equally, it could be happening right there, in front of us, and yet our focus is so honed in on something else, we just don’t notice it.
(You can check in with Mrs Croft to see if this kind of consciousness-blindness on my part is a real thing 😂🤣)
And even if we do “notice” it (**Etymology**: *Proto-Indo-European* “to know”) we’re still not having a direct experience of “sunrise,” we’re stuck again with our little perception-limited TV picture of it, being projected outwards into our consciousness.
The notion of which had me chuckling away to myself and “reassuring” my client that tomorrow morning there’d be:
> *“No sunrise for you!”*
Nope. No sunrise.
Just “this.”
💝
Giles
p.s. The mind will always want to try and figure out, conceptualise and make-useful these ideas, but I don’t want that for you. Not today. I want you to be left in a feeling of not-knowingness-possibility. That’s what the Sunday Spiritual is all about.
So I’m going to finish by sharing a little post I saw on Twitter. It’s one that slows me down and puts me into this state, every time I read it. So much so that I saved it to a folder. It was from a fellow writer, who said:
> *“Years ago, when I was in my 20s, a bold and artistically daring older friend who has since passed on gave me what I often think was the best advice I have ever gotten. I was worrying what ‘people would think’ of a decision I had made, and she said, ‘Amanda, there *is* no audience.’”*
😶
### It's not what happens, it's how you feel about it.
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-happens-how-you-feel/
Last updated: 2026-06-11T18:05:44.000Z
> *“Just wanted to say in my opinion this has to be one of your best, if not your absolute best, emails.”* \~ Paul G.
A genuine little reminder for you today, because it’s so easy to forget:
💡
****It’s not what happens, it’s how you feel about it.**
So obvious, and yet so easily overlooked.
Taken to the extreme, the most “terrible” thing could happen to you… and yet you could be completely fine with it.
I’m not saying you *will* be—our conditioned responses can be pretty sticky!—I’m just pointing you to the fact that these two things, below, are not the same!
**If you’ve ever been on one of my courses, or had 1:1 coaching with me, you’ll probably recognise this 💝*
And I have drawn two distinct lines, with a gap between them, for very good reason.
👨🏻🏫
## Dark times
Years ago, back when I was on my way out the door from Clinical Surgery, I’d quit my training post and was amassing as much money as I could (before becoming technically unemployed) by doing various locum surgical jobs.
This meant travelling to all sorts of hospitals I’d never worked in before and being thrown in at the deep end, plugging gaps in the rota for staff who were off sick, or on leave.
It paid really well and good job too, because I can’t recall a single shift where I wasn’t covering more than one absence. In one notable episode I turned up at the Surgical Directorate of a District General Hospital to discover I alone was scheduled to do the jobs of no less than three doctors!!
😱
(I became something of a local legend, that week. The overwhelming majority of ward staff took pity on me, and went out of their way to avoid bleeping me, unless it was absolutely necessary.)
But being on call overnight, in an unfamiliar hospital, with unfamiliar staff and unfamiliar patients really was the pits.
It sucked big time.
You’d be *utterly* shattered… get back to your room, just about get to sleep and then be woken up again by any number of different wards. I didn’t really have much of a sense of humour on such nights, and came close to crying a few times.
Until I caught sight of something in the diagram, above; some truth.
This was decades before I came across the [*inside-out understanding*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) but intuitively I knew that if I was going to get through these irredeemably dark times (i.e. “The thing”) I would have to do something to alter how I *felt* about them (i.e. “My *experience* of The thing”).
These jobs used to get paid at an hourly rate, so whenever I’d go to a new hospital where I knew I’d be on call overnight, I’d take a little calculator with me, and any time the bleep went off and woke me up, in the time *before* I picked up the phone to answer the call, I would do a very quick calculation of how much money I had just earned for sleeping.
🤑
Such a silly little trick, but it *completely* changed my experience of “The thing” (which hadn’t changed) and I usually made those return calls with sort of mildly amused, smug satisfaction – my eyes on the prize of why I was putting myself through it in the first place, I suppose.
## Isn’t that just “reframing”?
(You say *tom-ay-toes*, I say *tom-ah-toes* 😉)
Well, kind of, but there’s something deeper at play, in seeing the difference—and, more crucially, the *disconnect*—between [**The Thing** and **Your experience of The Thing**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-thing-vs-your-experience-of-the-thing/).
When you’ve seen how “Your experience” is created, moment to moment, from the inside-out, it just takes the pressure off “The thing” entirely.
The two aren’t *actually* connected (even though it [*really looks like they are*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)*)*, and you get to a point where you can see what was meant by the spiritual teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti, when he was asked what his secret was, and he replied,
> *“My secret? Oh I suppose you could say that I don’t mind what happens.”*
Have yourself a wonderful day.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[You can’t not see an illusionThe all-important difference between waking up \*from\* the dream, and \*to\* the dream 💭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)
I know, I know, it doesn't **look* this way… but maybe that's the whole point?
### Going medieval on sleep
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/medieval-sleep/
Last updated: 2026-02-24T08:13:52.000Z
We like sleep, here at the Daily Reminders. Sleep is awesome.
Thing is, we don’t always get what we *think* we should.
Especially when there’s loads going on. It’s a pretty simple equation really:
> **Loads on your mind = Less sleep.**
Certainly for me, anyway. YMMV.
And at the moment, working towards the launch of a new website, I’ve got a very “zingy” mind.
Lots of ideas. Lots of tasks to juggle. Lots of problems to solve. It’s like I’ve suddenly opened a door to a room I’d not noticed before, walked in and found there’s a big old party going on in there – lots of conversations, many distractions.
And the way I’ve noticed my mind dealing with this, is a change in my sleep patterns. I’ve gone all medieval!
🏰
So what's that then?
Well, I read that in the pre-industrial era, especially in Northern Europe where we get these shorter days, the established pattern of nocturnal activity was not one sleep, but two.
You’d go to bed after a hard day’s work in the fields, sleep until the early hours, then get up, do some stuff for a few hours in the dark and quiet, and go back to bed again.
Apparently it’s mentioned loads in medieval texts, and the period between sleeps even had a name: the watch.
It was just the way it was. The way humans were.
You were asleep for a bit. Then awake for a bit. Then asleep for a bit.
Until the Industrial Revolution, where your capitalist overlords required you to be up sharp and working all hours in the new factory!
😆
In fairness there were probably other factors influencing the disappearance of this practice—electric lighting, changing cultural norms around late night socialising, that sort of thing—but it’s only in the last 150 years that we’ve taken to heart this conditioned rule that:
> **A Good Night’s Sleep™ = 8 hours straight through**
💁🏻♂️
And you know what happens when a mind gets hold of a made up rule, don’t you?
That’s right, it pathologises anything that breaks it. Gives it a label. Freaks itself right out.
Suddenly, you’re lying there in the dark, thinking there must be something wrong with you because it’s 2am and you’re wide awake. It’s insomnia now. Come on boffins, we need to sort this problem! Pronto!
😳
Now I say, “the way humans *were*” but there’s evidence that we still *are*, under the right conditions. They did [***studies in the 1990s***](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10607034/?ref=gilespcroft.com) where they shortened the amount of light people received for a month (with 14 hours of darkness, to mimic pre-industrial winter nights) and discovered that their sleep patterns reverted to this natural double-sleep.
Asleep for a bit. Then awake for a bit. Then asleep for a bit.
Which is what I’ve been finding myself doing, lately. (It’s November – all the darkness helps.)
I’ve been working into the evening. Dropping like a stone. Waking up in the early hours. Getting up in the still, dark quiet. Doing some more work. Then going back to bed again.
My daughter even made me a medieval night light to work by, look!
**Gently flickering, warm-temperature, battery-powered tea light stops me from smashing my eyes with bright blue light at 3am.*
And while I think in the past I’d have maybe considered there was something “wrong” with that, since I learned all about how humans *naturally* rest, I’m quite proud to consider myself a “medieval sleeper.”
Come on, get on the bandwagon.
It can be our little rebellion against our capitalist overlords!
✊🏻
Giles
### Your next read
[This is how I sleep nowTwo practical tools for you to use in your quest for a good night’s sleep. 🛌The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-how-i-sleep-now/)
### ‘People prep’
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/people-prep/
Last updated: 2026-02-03T23:03:27.000Z
Do you prepare for conversations with others?
🤔
Such a little thing to see, and so utterly life-changing when you do.
That mental rehearsing we can lose literal hours to –
> 📦🗣️: *“Then he’ll say this, and I’ll respond like this… but what if she says this (I bet she does. She always does!), well then I’ll say…”*
And on it goes.
I mean, look, you’re welcome to do it. I’m not saying you ‘shouldn’t’ (🚩)
Just know that you’re losing precious chunks of life, when you do.
What’s more… you’re allowing the mind to prime itself to see what it expects to see.
Minds are phenomenally good at pattern-matching in relationships, and if you’re not careful, some of your most important ones will get stuck in patterns that it looks like you can’t escape from.
I just thought you should know.
💝
This was such a ***huge*** thing for me to see, personally, I can even remember when and where it clicked for me.
It will have been around 2005\. I was driving my treacherously sporty Ford Puma to work, listening to a Richard Carlson audio programme (probably [*Creating Miracles Every Day*](https://amzn.to/4qTaDWd?ref=gilespcroft.com)) on a MiniDisc™ 💽 that I’d created from the cassettes.
🤓
[Creating Miracles EverydayCheck out this great listen on Audible.com. By the author of the national bestsellers Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and Don’t Worry, Make Money The frantic pace of our daily lives can take a serious toll on even the most calm and collected person. Who has time to worry about happiness, health, and…Audible.co.ukRichard Carlson Ph.D.](https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Creating-Miracles-Everyday-Audiobook/B00NYA2U6K?source%5Fcode=ASSGB149080119000H&share%5Flocation=pdp&ref=gilespcroft.com)
So, **so* good 😍
I would say ‘happy days’ but I was barely listening to the audio, because I was too busy working up a head of steam about all the conversations I was going to have when I got there.
Thankfully Richard’s voice cut through my thought-creations as he started talking about maybe *not* wasting time mentally rehearsing what we were ‘going to say’ to other people at the *exact same moment* I was mentally rehearsing what I was ‘going to say’ to other people.
I almost crashed the car!!
> *Wait, WHAT did he just say?!?!*
😳
Ha ha! It’s *that* powerful a realisation to have.
And the great news is, it’s *all* that’s required to totally change your day – **realise you’re doing it**.
It’s so obviously pointless, that awareness is both prescription and cure.
Let’s give it a catchy name, so that you remember it (and stop doing it), later today. How about a different “3Ps” for you:
> **Practicing ‘People Prep’**
You’re welcome.
😘
Giles
### Your next read
[Pattern matching in relationshipsThe mind looks for what it expects to see. What’s yours looking for? 🔍The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pattern-matching-relationships/)
### Habits that come, and habits that go
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/habits-come-and-go/
Last updated: 2026-09-03T19:35:38.000Z
If you look up the etymology of the word ‘habit’, it means *to hold, consider or have in mind.*
That’s right: Habits are thought!
No surprises there, eh? 😆
Given the capricious, ever-evolving nature of thought, it also explains why habits—these behaviours we see, that lie downstream of the beliefs holding them in place—tend to come and go.
> **They’re held in mind. And then they’re not.**
An example of one that’s most immediately in *my* face at the moment: a period of lying fallow, when it comes to cycling. One minute I was doing it daily. The next, three weeks had passed, with no riding.
🤷🏻♂️
I am back to being de-conditioned and relatively unfit.
Sure, there was a catalyst – the time off was sparked by a cold. And now I’m super-busy all day every day, setting up a new website.
But essentially I’ve ‘got out of the habit’, by which I mean to say, it’s not being ‘held in mind’.
Habits seen from this perspective make a lot more sense.
---
My daughter surprised me this morning, by running back into the house from the front gate, proclaiming,
> *“I forgot to brush my hair! I really like to brush my hair every day before school.”*
😳
I say surprised, because it wasn’t all *that* long ago that my wife and I, in spite of considerable efforts (even going so far as roping in relatives to give non-boring old parents encouragement) could *not* get that girl to brush her hair. Ever!!
> **It wasn’t being held in mind. And then it was.**
Just like the time when the opposite was happening, and we went through a 6 month period of the lounge being in total darkness whenever she was watching TV, because of a non-negotiable curtain-closing habit.
It passed, of course.
> **It was being held in mind. And then it wasn’t.**
---
As parents, with minds that behave just like everybody else’s—i.e. dealing largely in black and white—when you’re going *through* these phases, they really look like that’s it. They look like they won’t change.
The mind takes what it knows of Now (the situation right in front of us), mixes it in with the past (although it forgets how change works, and that we’ve seen a dozen of these phases come and go already!!) and it projects in to the future.
> 📦🗣️: *“Yup. This is it now, you know? They’ll be* **\[insert weird kid-habit du jour\]** *when they’re 25 and their life will be ruined.”*
😂
When I look back on the amount of parental hand-wringing, and trying, and despairing that we did for *both* of those scenarios above… well, blimey.
One has to wonder.
Was all the angst *really* necessary?
😬
Giles
p.s. you know this isn’t just about weird kid-habits, don’t you?
Thought so 😉
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
#### Related:
[Old dog, new tricksThe truly ironic thing about habit change 😮The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/old-dog-new-tricks/)
You can read all about the curtain-closing débâcle here 💌
### Bringing calm
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/bringing-calm/
Last updated: 2025-12-08T14:04:07.000Z
I’m running around, in advance of a call, first thing this morning.
Literally *running* around the house.
The joys of working from home mean that I’m cramming in a quick shower, some essential laundry, a hot drink… and dashing upstairs to get sorted in my office before it’s time to start.
From the outside, you’d be forgiven for concluding I was a bit disorganised, a bit hyper – not really in the best place to settle into a conversation with a client.
On the inside, I’m not worried.
I know the minute I’m sat there at my desk and I let them in from the online waiting room, I’ll be calm and quiet and open; an empty vessel.
I don’t know why but I’ve never had a problem with this. I mean, I suppose I see it as my job, and I’m a professional, so why wouldn’t I? It’s what people pay me for: to listen, to be present, to help them get out of their head and into the space of insight.
Because that’s where we find the answers they’re looking for.
✨
I’m chuckling to myself, reflecting on all of this. How it works. How rushed things seem right now, and how it’ll all be completely different in a few minutes. The fact that at the click of my mouse, whatever mood I’m in, I can (and more importantly, *do*) put it all to one side, in the name of service.
🚀
Ready now, to make changes that last? [**Apply to work with me here*](https://gilespcroft.com/individuals?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Calm is just there. All the time. Underneath the noise of thinking. Like deep, still waters below the ever-moving surface.
And that’s *really* easy to see in this situation – every time I sit down for a call. I never question it and I know I can depend on it.
And then it occurs to me. (In the shower, I think.)
Hang on… if I can do this sitting down with another person, so flippin’ effortlessly…
🤔 😐 😲
Sheeeeeeeit, potentially I could be bringing this level of calm to *everything!!*
I mean – we *all* could!!
And that one hit me so hard, it *almost* slowed me down.
💟
Giles
### Your next read
[Fast actions, urgent feelingOne simple thing to keep you calm under pressure 😎The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/fast-actions-urgent-feeling/)
### Being a beginner
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-a-beginner/
Last updated: 2025-11-27T20:54:05.000Z
I remember back when I very first started coaching, I used to get frustrated and disheartened about being a beginner.
I didn’t want to be a beginner. Being a beginner sucked.
I wanted to have a load of experience and be super whizz-bang and to have everyone come to me because I was so good at what I did and had all these skills and knowledge and slickness…
…and of course I had none of those things. Because I was a beginner.
Thankfully, pretty early on, I had a very memorable coaching session of my own where I learned what it was all about. And how “being a beginner” actually equates to “being relatable.”
I’d never thought of it that way before.
Not long after, I started seeing the work I was doing a bit differently. Less of a “thing;” less a hat to wear, or a role to inhabit (truly, I’ve never been all that comfortable with the term “coach” – I don’t really see myself as one!) and more a way of showing up.
I decided that my practice involved showing people that it’s ok to be human, by being human with them, at the same time pointing them to the staggering beauty that lies beneath.
And to be honest, it’s kind of stuck ever since. That notion led to the birth of the Daily Reminders, and here I am, helping people with this one simple thing.
**Being** by your side, as we fumble our way through life, distinctly **human**.
Beginners together.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS
[](#/portal/signup)
Want insightful content like this mailed to you regularly?
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### How is this going to help me, later today?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/later-today/
Last updated: 2025-11-27T20:54:29.000Z
It’s a Sunday, so let’s slow right down, stop trying to fix our psychology and instead look at some spiritual home truths, shall we?
Fewer answers, greater potential.
I say “slow right down,” because part of the problem—the whole problem, really!—is the mind’s tendency to live *outside* of reality (which is Now) and in a little time-created world of its own.
🔑
****Key Message**: Our felt experience of life is only EVER happening NOW.
One could even go as far as wondering whether it’s possible for the chatterbox mind to operate anywhere *but* outside of reality, but let’s leave that wondering to another day, for now.
(D’you see what I did there? 😉)
To be clear, none of this time travelling—this leaving behind of reality—is a problem.
Because this thing we’re labelling as “reality” or “the Now” or “pure presence”… it’s unknowable. Utterly inscrutable, by its very nature. (Because scrutiny itself is a mind-thing, yeah?)
And yet, in that strange and beautiful way that we’re here to explore, it’s absolutely essential. It’s life. It’s the source. It’s formless energy that manifests as our experience. (It's the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com), if we feel like donning that particular hat, today.)
It’s where change comes from. It’s creative energy, that brings to life new ideas, fresh perspectives and solutions to problems. It’s direction and purpose. It’s connection and wholeness.
It’s who and what You really *are.*
Which is why I bang on about it so much.
Because to *see* this, is the end of suffering as we know it.
Literally just shifting our attention from “outside” (which is the world of form, and includes our bodies and our thoughts and emotions) to “inside” (the creative source; awareness *of* all that stuff) is all it takes.
From suffering, to presence.
But you gotta know it’s there!
Hence, the Daily Reminders, pointing, pointing, pointing…
🫵🏼✨
## What's a mind to make of all this?
Well, minds can't really “get their head around it,” because presence is the absence of mind-analysis. As Syd Banks pointed out:
So when they've had a taste of it, they react in all sorts of ways. They often start by raising [legitimate concerns](https://www.gilespcroft.com/legitimate-concerns/). Not a problem. To be anticipated.
They might conflate presence with avoidance, or just feeling good, [albeit temporarily](https://www.gilespcroft.com/feeling-good/). Again, no biggie – just what you might expect.
Or, as a mind did recently in a client session, having been lulled to sleep and then suddenly rising from its slumber, it asked,
> “But how is this going help me, when I find myself procrastinating, later on today?”
And it's away to the races, creating time, whizzing off into the future, ‘what iffing,’ trying to predict what's going to happen and how we're going to react when the thing it's imagining happening, happens and it's. all. made. up.
So the honest answer to that question is a gentle, loving, compassionate
> “It's not going to help you, mind. It's not going to help you at all.
And that's the thing to see.
💟
Giles
## Your next reads…
[Legitimate concernsHow the mind responds to presence. 🙋🏻♀️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/legitimate-concerns/)
[It’s not about feeling good“I might feel good now, but this won’t stick” … said a mind, once. 😩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/feeling-good/)
### Scaring myself
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/scaring-myself/
Last updated: 2025-11-11T19:01:36.000Z
The weather here has turned quite ropey, and what with it being that time of year when everything changes colour and falls to the ground, there’s a fair bit of debris around.
The front garden is strewn with leaves, there’s a whole load of organic detritus being carried down the river behind our house (which is higher than normal) and sitting on the glass of the rear-porch roof, is this clump of… matter.
🫣
Please don’t judge me for the filthiness of our rear porch roof – we live on a hill and it’s pretty much completely inaccessi…. although… hey… hang on, no – feel free to judge all you like! Because d’you know who gets stuck with those judgy feelings? You do! Not me! 😆
***“What other people think is between them and them”**
So judge away!
Anyway, you can’t miss it. Every time I’m at the sink in the kitchen, there it is – BAM.
Big THING, sitting there above my head.
Now we live on the edge of the countryside, the rear porch is kinda tacked on the *outside* of the house really, and there’s a strong automatic light that goes on and off when the light levels drop.
So we’re used to hosting weird and wonderful and sometimes quite large insects and arachnids (and once the next door neighbour’s cat, but that’s another story for another time).
And when I get a glimpse of that tree-detritus up there, without fail, I have a little bit of a shock. Every. Single. Time. Because it looks like a massive spider or something… just for a moment, before I catch myself.
If I’m in a quite buoyant mood, I’ll chuckle to myself at how the mind automatically sees scary things wherever it goes… and maybe even consider writing about it.
(Hi 👋🏻 😄)
But if I’m in more of a low mood, the mind will get cross with the roof detritus, or chide itself for getting fooled again and being scared, or think that we should find some ingenious way of getting it *off* the roof, so that I don’t have to keep going through this terrible, terrible scenario 😫
Minds! 🙄
So here’s today’s “What if…?” for consideration.
**What if…** it wasn’t just innocent roof detritus that the mind sees danger in?
**What if…** that’s actually its millennia-old job? To see threats everywhere, when there are none?
And while it’s easy enough to see that this isn’t a spider, it’s just some crap on my filthy porch roof, some of the other mind-creations are a bit more subtle.
What are you scaring yourself with at the moment?
What would it help to see through, today?
💟
Giles
p.s. As I was writing this I was reminded of my all time favourite ever **TED talk**, by **Anna Debenham**. In it, she relates the inside-out understanding by telling a story of how she helped her niece with scary bedtime shadows. And also chickens. Lots of chickens. 🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓 If you’ve not seen it, it’s a rare treat – you must check it out:
The best TED talk you'll ever see in your life. Fact.
### Seeing things differently
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/seeing-things-differently/
Last updated: 2026-04-13T21:30:39.000Z
In advance of having a recorded conversation with a colleague, on the topic of work relationships, I thought I'd do some homework.
(Now my daughter’s at big school, it’s bringing back all sorts of memories, and I’m starting to appreciate that I’m a swot at heart! 🤓)
See, I had a vague recollection of having read something really helpful, about work relationships, in my all time favourite book\*, that I’ve not read for a while.
(so 📚 many 📚 books 📚 to 📚 read)
So I picked it up and refreshed myself, over my morning coffee.
In the chapter entitled *Application of Psychological Principles to Organizations*, there’s a Case Study of ‘Alan’ – a manager who everybody sees as a difficult boss.
He’s doing his best, but is finding it difficult to get the most out of his staff, because they’re a bit incompetent and they don’t really listen to him. Which he can’t understand, because he’s really, *really* trying to help them.
Consequently he hates his job. As do all of his staff. And stuff’s beginning to slip through the cracks as a result of this general work-misery.
It’s fascinating and funny. Like all good 3 Principles Case Studies it starts off with everything-is-terrible and ends up with everything-is-awesome. His staff make a big turnaround, he has much better relationships with them and actually gets overheard telling another manager,
> *“This has been the best year of my career!”*
So what the hell happened in the middle?!?!
Well, much to his confusion, he wasn’t given any techniques to use (he’d had a whole career, climbing the corporate ladder, learning a bunch of techniques; some of which sometimes worked) and instead was invited to explore how his experience (of everything) is being created, and how moods, and insecurity affect his ‘reality’.
🧐
Of course, like most people first introduced to this understanding, his initial response was:
> *“And…?”*
…but to his credit, he [stayed open](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) and over time, as his understanding deepened, things started to change.
---
There were two sentences in the story that had me voicing my approval out loud and reaching for my pencil to underline and put big asterisks next to, that I’ll share with you here.
The first points to the fact that these **Principles are** **Universal** (i.e. in play 100% of the time; no exceptions). Because although *applicable* to his work situation, and vastly *improving* his work situation once they’d been seen, it was actually at *home* that they first started to make sense to him. As manifest thus:
> 📔 *“When his wife was in an off mood, or if she was complaining about something, he was finding he would rather fix her a cup of tea, than argue.”*
😂🤣
I love that! Tea FTW! 🙌🏻 🫖
Note what this *doesn’t* say: that he used ‘making tea’ as a technique to get his way, improve their relationship, or even to ‘make her feel better’. No, simply that *“he was finding he would rather…”* which is pretty much [how this stuff works](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/).
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn’t require willpower, but ****INSIGHT**
The other sentence I really loved speaks to the ‘**inside-out’ nature** of relationships (i.e. the fact that we’re [not experiencing other people](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/), we’re experiencing ourselves, reflected outwards):
> **📔** *“He sees people differently, because he sees *himself* differently.”*
😍😍😍😍😍😍
Yes, yes, yes and a thousand f\*\*\*ing times ***YES!!!!***
You cannot change other people… other than by more deeply understanding your own psycho-spiritual make-up.
(It’s an inside-out reality we live in, so it’s the ***only*** way.)
And when you do that… your entire world changes completely.
💖
Giles
\*p.s. before I get inundated with emails: **Sanity, Insanity and Common Sense** by Rick Suarez, Roger C. Mills and Darlene Stewart. Good luck finding a second hand copy on [eBay](https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?%5Fnkw=suarez+sanity+insanity+book&ref=gilespcroft.com) or [Amazon](https://gilespcroft.link/sanity-insanity?ref=gilespcroft.com). 🍀👊🏻
To whet your appetite, here's my totally biased review:
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/sanity-insanity/)
### “But my mind has been quite helpful recently!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/
Last updated: 2026-04-13T21:18:39.000Z
There are a number of ways the mind will stumble directly into the path of us living a contented, fulfilled life, halting our progress by erecting barriers.
🚧
And **bigging itself up**—making itself seemingly indispensable, when we’re trying to get a bit of distance from its endless commentary—has to be close to the top of the list.
It comes out fighting.
🤺
I was having a conversation with someone fairly new to the **Daily Reminders**, and they’d got a bit stuck. The mind was busy stating its case:
> “But look, here’s what I don’t get. My mind’s been quite *helpful* recently. And you’re telling me I should *ignore* it? That doesn’t make sense. It’s useful!”
Ah, there it is. Hello my friend.
Are you worried that you’ll be out of a job?
🤔
Firstly, putting my Giles Ego Construct Pedantry Pants 📦🩲on here for a moment (‘pedantry pants’ are very much a thing in the Croft household BTW – if you get caught wearing them, it will likely be called out), I would highlight the ‘[should](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/)’ (🚩) in that sentence.
I honestly don’t give a monkey’s what you do or don’t do. There’s no ‘should’ to any of it – that’s the language of the left brain.
I’m just going to point you towards some basic facts about how the mind works and you’re free to do whatever you want with that.
(The fact you’re still here suggests to me that there are some nuggets in that pointing, that stirs your soul ✨)
So let’s throw the mind a bone here and instead of laying down the law (minds don’t like that), let’s get curious and explore some *suggestions* about how this scenario—i.e. a mind that really *looks* like it’s ‘being quite helpful’—*could* be viewed differently.
Nice and gentle. Soft, softly catchy monkey…
🐒
## Observing. And Commentating.
So imagine for a moment, that what a mind does is **observes** life and then **commentates** on it.
How would that be? What might we expect to see?
Let’s say things are going ‘well’ – we feel like we’re really ‘on it’ at the moment. We’re not overthinking stuff, but rather we’re responding with a general sense of ease to life’s happenstance.
Our authentic desires, that contribute to the whole, are being realised. Fresh new ideas are landing, from ‘out of the blue’ – stuff we’d not thought of before. It’s brilliant! We’re being ourselves and things are flowing.
You with me?
Now, what’s a mind likely to say about all that? Once it’s **observed** that, how do you think it might **commentate** on it?
Is there *any* chance that it might have a few positive things to say?
Is there *any* chance that it might take credit for any of that?
Might it say,
📦
**“I've been quite helpful, recently.”*
🤔
Or let’s imagine you’re reading the **Daily Reminders**, or a book, or listening to a podcast or something and you suddenly have a bit of a realisation.
Insight lands 💡
The veil is lifted—however briefly—and you see something you’d not really seen before; or you see something a lot *deeper* than you had, up to this point. Another bit of the jigsaw falls into place.
Oh! Yes!
The hairs stand up on the back of your neck. Time slows. You can’t really put words to the feeling you’re in, but you know you’re likely to remember this moment *because* of how it felt. ‘Right,’ somehow. Peaceful. All your previous concerns melted away for a moment and you were just kind of… there.
And again, let’s imagine what a mind might make of that. Once it’s **observed** that, how do you think it might interpret it? How is it likely to **commentate**?
In spite of the fact that what’s happened has happened precisely because it’s NOT there in that moment, blibber-blabbering away at you, is there *any* chance—just the teeniest, tiniest smidgen of a chance—that it might try and take credit for that insight?
Might it say,
📦
**“I've been quite helpful, recently.”*
🤔
What d’you reckon?
I can’t tell you what’s going on so that you ‘believe me’—that’s not what *any* of this is about—I can only point in a particular direction and let you come to your own conclusions.
So what if it’s only ever **observing**, and **commentating**?
💟
Giles
### Stumbling around in the dark
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/stumbling-around-in-the-dark/
Last updated: 2026-04-13T21:35:08.000Z
Funny story.
When I was 17 years old, I went on a Sixth Form French exchange. We went there first, then they came to us.
Me and my correspondent fell into such an instant camaraderie—like brothers, separated at birth!—that we’re still in regular contact with each other now, 40 years later, and have had many visits over that time. He’s brilliant!
Anyway, the first night I’m there in France, he takes me to a bar in the village and we play some pool, drink some cider and have a real laugh, getting to know each other – both delighted at how well-matched we are.
I go to bed a very happy chappy but wake up in the middle of the night, desperate for the loo.
Now they do things different on the continent—it’s shutters, not curtains—so it’s absolutely pitch dark everywhere. This was well before the days of mobile phones with torches (we’re talking the late ’80s!) so I fumble my way out of my room, and onto the long upstairs landing, bladder bursting.
Also pitch black. No ambient streetlight or anything. Just impenetrable darkness.
🙈
Now, I’ve only been there a matter of hours, I’ve had a couple, and I’m not entirely sure where the door to the bathroom is (or a tumble down the stairs, for that matter!) so I do the safest thing I can think to do in my desperation, and hug the wall, feeling my way along it for either a light switch, or the toilet door handle.
Unexpectedly, as I’m frantically swiping my hands back and forth, the first thing I encounter is a picture, meeting it with such force that I practically take it off the wall. I grab it with both hands, relieved it doesn’t fall, and freeze, unsure what to do.
I’m in a strange house, in a foreign country, in *total* darkness, busting for the loo so badly I’m about to have an accident, and I’m stood there like an idiot, holding a piece of their artwork in my hands.
(I would like to take this moment to remind you I’m 17 years old, and frankly, I’m quite pissed 🥴)
Wisdom speaks. With the care of a properly drunk person, I lay it gently on the floor, leaning against the wall, and continue swiping manically to find the door… instead immediately hitting *another* bloody picture, and having to do the same again to save damaging anything, then carrying on with my frantic search.
I don’t remember how many pictures it was in total (he’s always been an artist – it was a lot!) and I never *did* find a light switch, (anywhere!) but I eventually located a toilet, in which to relieve myself.
I crept back to bed. In the absolute darkness, it was the only option.
The next morning, there was *much* hilarity in the house as I came down to *le petit déjeuner*, a bit hungover, to applause, and had to try and explain in my broken French exactly *why* his mum arose to discover all their artwork having been removed from the walls while they slept!!!
😂🤣😂🤣
Honestly. Giles, *circa* 1989… it wasn’t pretty.
🤦🏻♂️
## And the link to relationships?
Well, we all make mistakes, and they’re all born out of total psychological innocence.
I’ve said, many a time, that:
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us.
So when it comes to other people, and there’s tension, if our sense of identity is under attack and we don’t see *through* the illusion of self in that moment… we’ll lash out.
Nothing strange or unusual about that. It’s doing what makes sense, right there and then.
Taking it further… if someone’s level of understanding of how their mind works and how they’re experiencing the world is such that on some level it *really* looks like their own feelings of self-worth come from denigrating or hurting others… they’ll be abusive.
(Hurt people hurt people.)
Again, this is just the human operating system playing out in the way it does.
**All** [**behaviour lies downstream**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/) **of in-the-moment understanding.**
There will be consequences, of course—we have laws for the more extreme stuff—but understanding where behaviour comes from is crucial.
So go easy on your self.
Because the shift happens not in fixing the past, but in seeing the innocence that was always there.
## Regrets about the past
I worked with a client once, who was overwhelmed by their mind. It was keeping them awake and they were suffering. (Big time 😩)
We did what we do, in a block of Innate Health coaching, and after a while, as they rediscovered clarity, *everything* changed for them. (Big time 😲)
I say “everything,” because that’s how it works, when you get a totally different understanding of how you’re experiencing the world and who you really are. You see the whole of life differently.
Including relationships.
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but INSIGHT.
So this person, somewhat unexpectedly for them, saw their marriage blossom, as a result of the time we spent together looking at anxiety and insomnia. It was fantastic to witness.
But, minds being minds, they then felt a bit bad; a bit guilty—*“not proud,”* I think was the term used—about how distant they’d been with their partner recently, and that made total sense to me too.
If I think back, when I myself woke up to some of these simple truths, I probably cringed a little bit about past behaviours, but as Syd Banks pointed out:
[](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
We're talking [PRINCIPLES](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com) here. Just the way it works.
> *“Everyone is doing the best they can, given the thinking they have that looks real to them.”*
That means you, me, your partner, your kids, your work colleagues, your boss, other people you disagree with… there are *no* exceptions.
So next time you find the Reader Ego Construct 📦 getting stuck into you over something you did or said in the past, by all means learn from it.
By all means apologise, open-heartedly.
By all means strive to do better.
But if you’ve been stumbling around in the dark and eventually find the light switch, don’t dwell on the damage done.
Life’s happening NOW.
It’s waiting to applaud you, anew, in every moment that comes along.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS
[](#/portal/signup)
Want insightful content like this mailed to you regularly?
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### More on relationships
[Double low mood alert!These two counter-intuitive things to do when you’re both in a state, will change \*everything\* ❤️🩹The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/double-low-mood-alert/)
### Distraction: Solution 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/distraction-solution/
Last updated: 2026-05-07T22:05:46.000Z
**Recognising the source and true purpose of distractive urges, removes all their power.*
***Premium Written & Audio Content**
🔖
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### Double low mood alert!
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/double-low-mood-alert/
Last updated: 2026-08-22T16:04:07.000Z
D’you know what I think has made the biggest practical difference in my relationship?
It’s what we here at Croft Towers call the **Double low mood alert!🚨**
This is where you’ve *both* been smashed to pieces by the day and just want to collapse in a heap and do nothing.
But of course, annoyingly, for each of you, there’s this other person there too.
*And* a bunch of life admin to still get through.
So for one reason or another, innocently enough, you’re both heavily invested in your Thought Systems 📦 and the problems they’re creating, which look *super*\-problematic and serious right now because you’re in such a low mood and frankly, it’s a recipe for disaster.
Actual footage from the [Relationships Video Masterclass](https://payhip.com/b/UM2S4?ref=gilespcroft.com)
## Here’s what to do
It’s really simple.
It could not be easier.
All you do is you make it known, that this is what is going on.
You say:
> *“Uh oh! Double low mood alert!* 🚨 *Emergency! Emergency!”*
(or something equally over the top and dramatic)
You bring it out into the open, and make it known that the two of you are skating on *incredibly* thin ice right now, and could easily get into a nuclear meltdown over essentially nothing.
(That’s the way low moods work, remember?)
And what you may find when you do this, is that you both instantly relax, just a teeny bit.
It creates just enough space for things to start improving.
But if you don’t (or can’t) relax, at least then you both know to pussyfoot around each other until you can (or do).
*Or…* you’ll both know to just move to opposite ends of the house or something – basically, *anything* to avoid putting the rancid contents of *your* Thought System 📦 up against the rancid contents of *their* Thought System 📦 and spilling toxic bilge all over the place as a result.
☢️🧪🤮
You’re welcome.
## You want the “Pro” version?
Of course you do. You are *my* kind of person! 🥰
If you *really* want to create a beautiful, handmade silken receptacle out of this pig’s ear of a low mood, here’s what you do next:
💞
You consciously go out of your way to be super-kind and loving towards the other person, even though you feel like you don’t have a single compassionate cell left in your body.
For example:
- Thank them for the slightest thing (even though you don’t *feel* grateful)
- Kiss them on the head for no reason whatsoever
- Tell them you love them, when they do something really minor
- Do something small, but helpful for them, expecting nothing in return.
It’s ok, you can still do all of this with a face like a slapped arse… but carry on, regardless.
Because if you do this, it will be nigh on *impossible* to get into a fight.
*And* you’ll feel good about yourself.
They’ll get the benefit, too, and the situation *will* change.
It works wonders, trust me.
And if, inexplicably, you’re both *still* miserable as sin, in spite of all that, as you’re going to bed, you have earned the right to high five each other that neither of you blew a gasket, despite both of you being on such a short fuse.
🙌🏻
Yay for you two!
Give it a go, let me know how you get on.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Finding common ground in conflictOnce you see what’s going on in a disagreement, you can’t unsee it 😯The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finding-common-ground-in-conflict/)
### Pattern matching in relationships
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/pattern-matching-relationships/
Last updated: 2026-01-09T10:45:22.000Z
The mind is an extraordinary tool, capable of such intense laser-focus, that it can exclude all other data, as is so beautifully demonstrated in [*this very short test of your attention*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo&ref=gilespcroft.com)**.**
If you’ve never watched this before, drop everything you’re doing and take one minute out of your life to perform the task (you don’t need the sound on – instructions are given on the screen and it’s a purely visual exercise).
Once you've watched it (you did watch it, didn't you?), or if you've seen it before and you already know the score, you can read on.
#### Spoilers below.
*(Watch the video)*
I’ve never had the luxury of seeing this clip *without* knowing what to look for, as I was introduced to it in anecdote.
But yesterday, when it popped into my head as a great way of introducing today’s **Daily Reminder**, I got both my wife and my 11yo daughter to watch it and blow me, if their jaws didn’t drop at the grand reveal – *neither* of them had *any* idea there was a socking great gorilla beating its chest in the middle of the screen at one point!!
🦍🫣😳🤯
What’s this got to do with relationships?
Well, many a conversation I have with clients goes something like this:
> *“I’ve got this family member/work colleague I have to see. We don’t really get on. We wind each other up. I don’t know what to do about that. Please help.”*
(You can relate, because I can relate.)
And the answer is right there, beating its chest in the middle of the question.
We have to widen our focus, to look for more than what we just *expect* to see.
The mind is such a *phenomenally* good (read: lazy) pattern-matching machine, that if we enter into an interaction with another human being thinking *“They’re an idiot”* then the mind will go looking for examples of idiotic behaviour, in order to prove itself right and—hey presto!—we get the experience we predicted.
🪄
It’s not rocket science. You just watched a video to prove it: you were told to zone in on how many times the ball passed between the white-clad players (≅ ‘idiotic behaviour’) and you failed to notice the socking great gorilla beating its chest in the middle of the screen (≅ other stuff about this person you never see, because your mind is too focused on what an idiot they are.)
---
At the heart of this particular relationship conundrum is what we always come back to here in the **Daily Reminders**: the fact that while it *looks* like you’re having a felt experience of ‘out there’ (e.g. frustrated, ‘because of’ so-and-so’s idiotic behaviour), what you’re actually experiencing is an *inner* world of ever-changing, perspective-shifting, anything-is-possible Thought.
🔑
****Key Message**:
➤ ****100%** of our feelings come from (the Principle of) Thought
➤ ****0%** of our feelings come from our circumstances
So the next time you find the Reader Ego Construct 📦 lapsing into old patterns of focus around ‘*that’* person, just remember to look for the gorilla passing through your interaction with them.
It’s there, you just didn’t spot it.
💟
Giles
### More on relationships
[Double low mood alert!These two counter-intuitive things to do when you’re both in a state, will change \*everything\* ❤️🩹The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/double-low-mood-alert/)
### Who's under attack?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/
Last updated: 2026-07-16T17:31:36.000Z
A recent instalment of one of my favourite publications: Sufi Comics was all about [*The Secret to Unity in a Divided World*](https://www.suficomics.com/blog/secret-unity-divited-world?ref=gilespcroft.com) and, while beautifully drawn and refreshingly insightful (as always!), it was fairly standard fare about separate realities and being open to different perspectives.
(It even went as far as re-telling the old story about the blindfolded people, each given a different bit of an elephant, to try and describe what animal it was.)
[](https://www.suficomics.com/blog/secret-unity-divited-world?ref=gilespcroft.com)
**The author at work, being schooled by his own reaction to online division.*
You’ll probably enjoy reading it on that link above (or by clicking on the image), but don’t feel you have to, because I’m going to pull out the deeper message for you, that is left unexplored when he says,
> *“When our opinions become part of our identity, any challenge to them feels like *a threat to who we are*.”*
That stopped me dead.
Because that’s *it:* the key to fulfilling, conflict-free relationships!
**The biggest ‘opinion’ we hold, is identity itself.**
😲
## See for yourself
Cast your mind back to the last time you had a disagreement with someone.
Literally, just take a moment to do that, now (if you can bear to).
How did it feel?
Not great, right? Like you were a bit under attack, I’m guessing.
(I’ve had more than half a century of being human – I can relate 😉)
But here are today’s pointers for you to consider:
- **What if…** it’s not actually *you* that’s under attack in these situations?
- **What if…** the *only* thing that’s at risk is the mind’s story about who it *thinks* you are, or how you should be; merely its *opinions?*
- **What if…** it’s innocent identification with these thought-creations that is getting in the way of a more harmonious relationship, in that moment?
And the biggie, of course…
- **What would it mean for *your* relationships to see this more deeply?**
🤔
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Looking for better relationships in **your* life? Had enough of working hard on yourself (or your partner!) and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### The one relationship that defines all others
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-one-relationship-that-defines-all-others/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T06:39:12.000Z
When push comes to shove, there’s only *one* relationship that matters, because it defines all the others.
In fact, it’s the only relationship you’ll ever actually have – literally the *only thing you get to experience*, your entire life:
💭
****Your relationship to Thought.**
The past is made of Thought.
The future is made of Thought.
Your whole experience—right now—is made of Thought: the screen you’re reading this on, the surface your body is resting on, your body, even!
And other people. The *experience* you have of other people is made of Thought, too.
There *are* no other people!
This is the essence of the inside-out understanding, and it’s not controversial. It’s just the way it is.
These two statements are identical in what they mean; it’s just a different way of saying the exact same thing:
- You’re not living in the feeling of your circumstances, you’re living in the feeling of Thought in the moment
- There *are* no ‘other people’.
They’re the same because they both point to the (scientifically demonstrable) fact that we don’t get to experience an ‘outside world’ directly.
What we get is a Thought-created perceptual facsimile of that world.
And that’s *all* we get.
It looks amazing, it looks completely nailed on and true ([it has to](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/) – we couldn’t function if we were second-guessing it all the time!) but it’s made of fluid, fallible, flighty Thought.
Now, before you rage quit this Daily Reminder because the Reader Ego Construct 📦 just can’t be doing with all this silliness, let me be clear about what I’m ***not*** saying.
> Your experience of ‘other people’ is not real.
Of course it is!
There’s you and there’s me and here I am typing this Daily Reminder and there’s you reading it and we’re not ONE – we’re two different beings and we're both having totally different experiences of these words on the page and…
…oh, hang on…
How can *my* experience of it be true if *yours* is different?
🤔
Ah. Oh. Ummm…
Dammit, and I *wrote* the bloody thing!!
This is all that is meant by ‘there are no other people’ – not that they’re not there and you’re an idiot for thinking that they are, just that you don’t ever actually get to experience *them.*
What you actually *get* is an experience of your self (which is made of Thought), reflected outwards.
- They’re experiencing their ideas of themselves, and of you
- You’re experiencing your ideas of your self, and of them.
In fact, for clarity,
🪞
You are the witnessing of the mind experiencing its own ideas of itself and others.
And yes, now my brain hurts, too.
😂
Let’s keep it simple. Here’s a quote I came across online, that I wish I’d come up with myself and am going to claim as my own, by altering it ever so slightly:
> ***Changing your thoughts is nothing compared to changing your relationship to Thought.***
Now that’s an idea worth sticking on the back burner for today.
💟
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/UM2S4?ref=gilespcroft.com)
In this 1h56 ****Video Masterclass**, we go beyond the usual ‘how to have better relationships’ advice and instead peek behind the curtain of experience itself to explore:
- What is a relationship?
- How can two separate systems of thought ever even hope to align?
- And what happens when you see through the illusion of separation, entirely?
If you’ve been considering questions about relationships for ages, you’ve had enough of just collecting more ideas, and you’re ready to ***see** ***something new**, then this one's for you.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/UM2S4?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### It's not about remembering
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-not-about-remembering/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T14:13:54.000Z
It’s a [*Sunday Spiritual*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/), so no quick fixes today, just an invitation to slow down, explore some paradoxes, and see what pops up for you.
🧐
Do you ever catch yourself reading one of these Daily Reminders and thinking, *“Yes, I must remember to do that!”* in a particular situation?
If so, I think that's a totally innocent, human thing. I catch the Giles Ego Construct 📦 doing it from time to time, too.
I’ll come across a lovely turn of phrase or a fresh perspective that stirs my soul… I’ll have a deeper insight into the nature of things and then watch as the mind automatically scans recent mis-steps.
📦
🗣️: **Imagine how different that situation would have played out, if I had seen this, then!*
And it wants to remember, *‘for next time.’*
But let's explore why none of this is about remembering-and-applying.
Not one iota.
Remembering-and-applying is a left brain activity. It’s using the intellect. It’s an attempt at using willpower to somehow reverse-engineer understanding in the moment.
It’s a bit like saying,
> *“Right, in situation a, b, or c, I must remember to hold my breath for 3 seconds.”*
Could you do it? Sure, I guess. If you remembered.
Is it a bit unnatural? Uh, yeah.
Would the natural order of regular breathing take back over, once you stopped trying to control things? Of course!
---
All of our behaviour—every tick, every thought, every response, every feeling—stems from our understanding of the world in general.
**We don’t get to choose.**
For example…
> **If we believe** we’re somehow deficient… we’ll forever be on the lookout for ways outside of us to bolster our sense of worth (e.g., possessions, status, power).
>
> But **if we’ve seen** that we’re whole and don’t need circumstances to line up in a particular way to feel a deep sense of inner peace… we’re free from that.
There’s no trying, or remembering. Our behaviour flows automatically from that place of understanding.
Or…
> **If we view our kids** as lacking the fundamental resources to manage difficulty, navigate painful feelings, and come up with solutions that are contextual to them… we’ll try to manage their experience and fix things for them.
>
> But **if we’ve seen** there’s nothing to fix—that they are [innately resilient](https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/)—we’ll point them in that direction, instead.
There’s no trying, or remembering. Our behaviour flows automatically from that place of understanding.
---
Of course, that’s all well and good on a **macro** level (and is catnip for the spiritual ego, that likes to ‘progress’! 😉), but on a **micro** level, our state of consciousness (or put more simply, ‘mood’) [fluctuates all the time](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/) throughout each day.
- When we’re **not taking our thinking seriously**, these simple truths are self-evident and we’ll behave with magnanimity, love, and understanding
- When we’re **caught up in the mind’s self-referential chatter**, we’re acting from a place of relative insecurity and our behaviour will match that.
There’s naff-all you can do about your behaviour in these situations – once it’s happening, it’s happening, and no amount of ‘remembering’ or ‘trying’ will make a blind bit of difference.
You might as well try [getting the eggs back out of an omelette](https://www.gilespcroft.com/already-accepted/)!
🍳
## So what are these Daily Reminders for, then?
Well, on one level they’re to point you back to what I just said happens on the **micro** level. Because no matter what you’ve seen, or how deep you’ve been, you’re still going to be a total idiot from time to time.
🤪
But more than that, they’re inviting you to remember who you really are: perfect, whole; the unfathomable formless energy of life/the Universe/God, manifesting into form, NOW.
**They're for you…**
- To fall out of the mind’s stories and *to see something* about how you experience the world, in general.
- To get a felt sense of life *before the mind kicks in* and starts analysing it all (and complaining about it)!
- To *realise that you’re ok*, that you always have been, and you always will be. Because who you really are is not of this world.
- To *provoke insight* – the kind that shifts everything without effort.
It's not about wrestling with behaviour or making a mental note of what to do in the future to ‘[feel better](https://www.gilespcroft.com/feeling-good/)’, it's about seeing something true, right there in the moment.
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but ****insight.**
And don’t ask me how it works—I don’t even pretend to know—but what I *do* know is that that stuff changes you.
Forever.
Every single time it happens.
✨
So if you catch me saying “remember this” or “try this out,” and the Reader Ego Construct 📦 pipes up to suggest that Giles should [get his story straight](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/), know that's it’s just shorthand for pointing you to the space where insight lives.
After touching that space, you will automatically ‘remember’, and there’s nothing for you to do, when faced with challenge, because you’ll do what makes sense.
It won’t even *feel* like remembering.
**It will just feel completely normal.**
💖
Giles
### Is your mind a bully?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-your-mind-a-bully/
Last updated: 2026-02-21T21:16:12.000Z
I don’t know what’s going on where you live, but here in the UK it’s the end of the first half term of the new school year.
A *\[insert adjective of your choice\]* week awaits us, fellow parents!
😉
Anyway, my daughter started secondary school this time round and went from being a big fish in a small pond, to a little fish in a big one.
So now there are blazers and homework and lunchtime budgets and new friends and mobile phones and after school clubs and proper subjects and heavy bags…
…and bullies.
Not that she’s experienced anything beyond the odd mindless comment from random kids on the way home, but it’s the environment where it can happen.
And I know what I want to show her (I might even do so, this weekend.) It’s this:
Direct YouTube link: [https://youtu.be/7oKjW1OIjuw](https://youtu.be/7oKjW1OIjuw?ref=gilespcroft.com)
You may have seen it before. If you haven’t, you’re in for a treat. It’s amazing how he can take such a serious, heavy topic and make it so lighthearted and fun, while conveying a deep, life-changing insight at the same time, just by making it visible how something *really* works.
(A man after my own heart 😂🤣)
He’s not from the 3Ps community, and I was on tenterhooks when he started talking about ‘self’ … but really, when he does he’s just reflecting that thing you’ll hear me always saying: [*Get your own evidence*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/)*.*
Kids have to do the same.
So why not sit down and watch it with yours?
It will start a discussion at the very least. One that—you never know—might just end up at the simple realisation that:
😮
It’s impossible to bully someone who won’t be bullied.
---
Now, this wouldn’t be a Daily Reminder if I didn’t draw some parallel to the way our minds, and life work, now would it?
😁
Because we *all* have a bully living very close by. It taunts us and teases us and says hurtful things about us and the rules are *exactly* the same as in the game this guy plays in the video above:
- Engage with it on its level, taking what it says seriously 👉🏻 ☠️
- Don’t take it seriously; joke around with its nonsense 👉🏻 😎
And when we see it for what it is (which is what you’re here for), the second option becomes a much more natural response.
If it helps, take this quote from a book I’m reading at the moment:
> *“Most bullies are the way they are, because of how they’ve been treated. They just don’t know any different. They don’t know how to deal with their emotions, so they lash out.”*
The Reader Ego Construct 📦—your mind—has been through a lot. It might lash out at times, because it just doesn’t know any different.
Why not show it some of that fabled ‘love and understanding’.
You can think of it as ‘self’ compassion.
💟
Giles
p.s. she’s absolutely loving her new school BTW – practically skips in, each morning, for which we are eternally grateful!
### Thoughts on a screen
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/thoughts-on-a-screen/
Last updated: 2026-06-11T11:21:18.000Z
Someone showed up in my practice one day because important meetings weren’t going well.
And these important meetings kinda *needed* to go well, because business kinda depended on it.
So we slowed down and we really examined the experience.
*What’s happening? And then what? Oh yeah, and what d’you put that down to?*
🤔
Turns out there was not-much-time being spent listening to what others were *saying* in these important meetings…
…which, by a process of basic [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com) deduction, revealed that there was a lot-of-time being spent listening to the mind, *analysing* what was being said in these meetings; getting in the way.
Big difference.
And—as they were finding—that sh\*t’s exhausting.
Like, totally unsustainable.
## Flashback
I have no idea why (these sorts of things just happen when you’re sitting in presence with someone) but in a moment of quiet, I was suddenly transported back to standing up on stage, many years ago, getting all tongue-tied because of all the things I *wanted* to say, but had run out of *time* to say.
In those situations—and if you’ve met me, or heard me speak, you’ll know this was every. damned. time. 😆—it always felt like I was letting my audience down, somehow.
Why?
Because back then, I was a rehearser. I was so intimate with the content of my talk, and I’d done so much planning, and I knew exactly what I wanted to share with people, I felt like I was short-changing them, when it didn’t go to plan.
(It never went to plan.)
> 📦🗣️ *“That could have been so much better!”*
*…* moaned the Giles Ego Construct.
But then it changed.
I honestly can’t remember how, or who pointed this simple, obvious little fact out to me, but it was a total game changer:
😐
People don’t **know* all the things I had **planned* to say.
A real mic-drop moment.
So obvious. And yet, at the same time, so hidden.
> *Oh my word YES, I *was* subconsciously labouring under the impression that they could read my mind!! How bonkers is that?!*
😲
Now, because it had ‘just popped into my head’ and I’ve learned to trust these seemingly random memories that life reanimates for me, I related this tale to my client and heard myself saying something I’d never said before, or even *considered* before in my life,
> *“It’s almost as if I imagined all of my thoughts were being projected onto the screen, behind me!”*
…and, unbeknownst to the Giles Ego Construct 📦 *that’s* what they needed to hear.
It gave them their *own* mic-drop moment.
🫳🏻🎤
## Your thoughts are private
Because it’s the same with conversations we have.
Other people have NO IDEA what’s going on in our heads (for instance, letting a good idea come and then go), where sometimes the mind gives us the impression that there’s a big screen behind us, broadcasting a transcript of everything we’re thinking… and it cripples us!
Your thoughts aren’t visible. Neither are theirs. As one of my mentors puts it:
> *“What other people think is between them, and them.”*
The *only* way you’re going to get a feel for what’s going on in *any* human-human interaction, is to *listen*.
Not to what your mind’s saying, but to the entirely of the other person’s being: their words, their demeanour, the energy they’re in.
And then the ‘hardest’ thing for us humans (in quote marks, because the irony is, it requires much *less* effort):
- No judgement.
- No analysis.
- No second guessing.
- No persuading.
- No mind-changing.
Just. LISTEN.
And when it’s your turn to speak—similar to what happened for me, in the coaching conversation—you’ll know what to say.
Give it a go and watch ***all*** your relationships blossom!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Listening notesSome helpful pointers on the topic of listening… for a better experience all round 👂🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/listening-notes/)
### Urges are just thought
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/urges-are-just-thought/
Last updated: 2026-07-01T13:50:37.000Z
You did know that, right?
Urges aren’t some magical, mythical beast that we must tie ourselves in knots, trying to defeat.
They’re just a manifestation of thought.
Like everything.
## Example
I’m reading a book. A ‘work’ book. And it’s telling me some home truths; some things that the Giles Ego Construct 📦 doesn’t *really* want to hear.
So it does what minds do.
It sneakily offers to relieve this pain it’s creating by some alternative pastime.
> *“Anything but this!”* it says.
There’s a mention in the book of Halley’s Comet, coming around every 75 years. The G.E.C. 📦 remembers Halley’s Comet in the news from when this body was in its youth. And so its solution to reading stuff it *really* doesn’t want to hear is to pipe up with an urge:
> 📦🗣️ *“Hey! Check how likely it is you’ll be alive, the next time Halley’s Comet comes through!”*
And I almost fell for that one.
Before I knew it, the book was closed and I was reaching for my phone.
**Really strong urge.**
(Of course, the chances of me actually making it to Wikipedia to check on the comet’s arrival year were slim at best. I’d have got distracted by email, or social media or some other nonsense clamouring for my precious attention, on that slab of glass. And thirty minutes later I'd either have abandoned the book, or picked it back up and only *then* remembered why I put it down in the first place 🤦🏻♂️😩)
> 📦🗣️ *“Yessss, yesssss, my precioussss. Shiny nice easy things that look urgent and aren’t reading stuff I really don’t want to hear.”*
But then, phone in hand, thumb poised to swipe, I remembered:
💡
**Oh. Urges are thought, aren’t they?*
Well.
And I just sat there for a moment. In the urge. Not doing anything, really. Just remembering on some level: *Oh.* *Urges are thought. Isn’t that a curious thing? I wonder if it will pa…*
And it had passed.\*
I opened the book back up and continued reading.
## Principles for the win
We talk [Principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/) here in the Daily Reminders. How sh\*t works. For realz.
So it’s the same for *any* urge that you (or I) might encounter, irrespective of content.
> 📦🗣️ *“Man, I’m stuffed. Now, what’s for pudding? Got a mad hankering for something sweet.”*
That hankering? It’s made of thought.
When I remember, more often than not, I’ll let it slide.
The urge might come back (habitual thought patterns can be a bit like that, for as long as we reward them with attention).
And I’ll let it slide again.
Not always, but often.
Because I know I can depend on this Principle:
**Urges are thought.**
## Conquering procrastination
It’s so important to see that urges are just thought.
Because life—especially modern life—is stacked against us with the old urge-distractions (had you noticed)?
This simple, overlooked fact is the root cause of all our procrastination.
It lies upstream of the behaviours labelled as disorders of attention.
All of it perfectly natural. Just a mind, trying to help out, trying to protect us from the pain *it’s* creating, with its stories, and its imagined futures, and its illusion of control.
You know, writing this, I’m *almost* back on side with that famously mis-attributed quote:
> *“Between stimulus and response is our greatest power – the freedom to choose.”*
I don’t think we *can* choose (there’d have to be some separate entity there, ‘[driving the bus](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-bus-driver/)’ and doing the choosing, for a start), but if we put that [Sunday](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/)\-type topic to one side for a moment, what *is* clear to see is that in these moments, **there’s definitely more than one path that can be taken**.
And that, in itself, is very helpful to see.
💟
Giles
\*p.s. Never did look. Don’t really care. I reckon someone’ll tell me, nearer the time.
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/distraction-solution/)
There's a simple way to combat the productivity-wrecking effects of distractive urges (that **doesn't* involve going cold turkey) and it's much closer than you'd think.
Over in the ****Premium Membership** 🔖 we look at a “****Distraction: Solution**” because insight into the nature of distractions changes everything ✨
Includes:
✒️ Magazine-calibre article
🎙️ Audio narrated version.
[TAKE A LOOK NOW ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/distraction-solution/)
### Recordings
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/recordings/
Last updated: 2026-06-27T21:22:45.000Z
It’s testament to the infinite creative power of life energy that:
1. Every now and again I come across someone who says what I’m saying so clearly—but in a different way—that it blows my mind
2. I have been writing these Daily Reminders every single day for 17 months now, and still have way more ideas than I could ever write about.
Someone posted this on social media and I just STOPPED.
Why the hell hadn’t I expressed it this way before?!
[](https://www.facebook.com/scottdclarypage/)
from [Scott D Clary](https://www.facebook.com/scottdclarypage/)
> ‘Recordings’!!!
😲
How perfect is that?!
All the judgements we have—about others; about our selves—and opinions we hold, they’re just stuff that’s accumulated in our Thought System 📦 from others. Recordings!
Even our conceptual notion of ‘who we are’ is created from these opinions. As David Edwards puts it, at the very beginning of his lovely [*Short Book About Ego*](https://www.medialens.org/bookshop/a-short-book-about-ego/?ref=gilespcroft.com):
> *“We’re told we’re annoying, adorable, stupid, unlovable; that we’re a show-off, that we’re not academic, that we’ve got a nice voice, that we’re a fast runner, dance beautifully, and so on.*
> *“The reflections collect as a nebulous mass in which we perceive an indistinct outline of an individual, a personality, a self – ‘me’. This is the ego: the mind identifying itself with impressions from the outside world.”*
Recordings!
But you know the even stranger thing?
Even though it hit me like a tram when I first read it… I keep forgetting it.
(Maybe because it’s someone else’s insight and metaphor, not mine, I dunno 🤷🏻♂️)
I keep thinking, *Now what’s that really amazing way of describing the Giles Ego Construct* 📦 *that I read the other day?*
\[Scrabbles around on phone\]
Oh yes, that’s it – ‘Recordings’! Brilliant!
Anyway, I’ve committed it to a Daily Reminder now, so who knows how well it will stick.
It’s good though, isn’t it?
📼
****Recordings.**
For my benefit, and for yours; for everyone who wants to think less and live more, the Reminders will continue to arrive Daily.
I think we all need it.
💝
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Where you’re coming fromThe antecedent of what you do, and why you do it 💖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-youre-coming-from/)
More from David’s wonderful book
### Why ignoring thought is not the answer
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-ignoring-thought-is-not-the-answer/
Last updated: 2026-03-25T17:33:32.000Z
We’ve had a couple of Daily Reminders recently, about how some feelings that are perceived as unpleasant—like anxiety—are not to be shied away from. We had:
- [There’s nothing wrong with that](https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-that/) (where we established these feelings are not a problem), and
- [Resistance is futile](https://www.gilespcroft.com/resistance-is-futile/) (where we learned that to push away these feelings is just going to make them stick around for longer).
As a way of reassuring you that acceptance is *not* denial, and that to stop resisting these things will, paradoxically, make them go away, I finished that last one with a great quote from some wise Yogi-type, who said:
> *“An ignored guest quickly leaves”*
…which, incidentally, is so good, someone got back to me to suggest it should be turned into ‘merch’ for my business, by putting it on a t-shirt or a mug!
😆
And today I want to pick that apart a little bit more, because while it’s good, it might actually give you the wrong impression. Because there’s a very subtle, but really powerful difference between **ignoring the mind**, and being generally **disinterested by it**.
## Ignoring thought
This is how minds sometimes interpret what I’m pointing to, here in the Daily Reminders.
We’ve been *so* schooled in cognitive science-speak by society, and notions of mindfulness, and in the *practice* of meditation (and look, even in quotes like this one, above!) that it looks like what’s required to experience peace—what’s required to experience our [True Nature](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/)—is to **ignore thought**.
And why do we feel we have to ignore it?
Take a moment, right now, to consider that question.
I’ll wait.
🤔
That’s right, 9 times out of 10 it’s because it still seems like it has some power.
It’s because it looks like there’s something about the *nature* of thought that is affecting us negatively, and we therefore have to get away from it.
Now, at the risk of introducing more [paradoxes](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/), I’m going to say that getting distance from the mind is **no bad thing**. I’ve even [recommended it myself](https://www.gilespcroft.com/getting-some-distance/), as a tool of sorts.
And it's the reason that mindfulness meditation is a *huge* industry – because it helps (to a degree).
But mindfulness—as a way of dealing with harmful-looking thoughts—is not going to improve things for you in the long run. It’s not going to bring about any meaningful change in your life.
It’s just going to be another band aid; an unsustainable avoidance technique.
To avoid thought is just another coping mechanism, cut from the same cloth as your ‘favourite’ harmful habit you find yourself helplessly engaged in.
🛍🎰🍷🍪💰🚬🍔💉🍺🍩🏇🏻
## Being disinterested by thought
Now, this is a completely different ball game, and it *is* what I’m actually pointing to, here in the Daily Reminders.
What we’re doing here is not making *any* assumptions about the nature of thought – we’re getting our own evidence for what it actually *is*, where it comes from and what consequences arise from the kind of relationship we therefore have with it.
So every [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com), or Innate Health teacher will point you towards this one same thing:
> *“Thought, in and of itself, is harmless”* \~ Richard Carlson
- Because you don’t have to *ignore* something that is harmless
- It requires no effort to be *disinterested* by something that is harmless
- It is impossible to be *freaked out* by something that is harmless
You see the difference?
Highlighting the fact that you don’t even have to *disengage* from thought, I heard one of my mentors put it like this:
> *“If you engaged with a thought that you considered ridiculous, it wouldn’t have a harmful effect.”*
😳
When this one ‘little’, life-changing, thing is deeply seen, we find ourself having pretty much the same reaction (that reaction being: 🤷🏻♂️) to *any* of the following thoughts:
- The word bananas has more a’s than n’s in it
- Wouldn’t it be funny if we got paid in chocolate
- I wonder who’s going to win next year’s Tour de France
- Cats are well cute
- I’d like to rob a bank
- Everybody thinks I’m weird, I’m going to stay in
- I hate all people who believe in \[x, y, z\] and think they should go to jail or die
- I should get a divorce. Things would be much better then.
- I am a useless shit, the world would be a better place without me and I should find out the least inconvenient way of killing myself.
And I’ve been deliberately provocative here to show you the true depth of that Richard Carlson quote.
👉
****All are equally harmless, because all are thought.**
Seeing that thoughts arise in consciousness, pass on through and don’t mean a damn thing (unless we *ascribe* meaning to them) is the total game-changer that *will* bring about meaningful change in your life.
And that’s what I want for you, with all my heart.
💗
Giles
### Related
[The ‘insert topic here’ thoughtMinds are creatures of habit, so we \*all\* get ‘bad’ thoughts that tend to reoccur. You’re not alone 💞The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-insert-topic-here-thought/)
However ‘bad’ a thought is… it's still just a thought.
### Why your other half is always right
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-your-other-half-is-always-right/
Last updated: 2026-03-30T20:27:09.000Z
Life is full of interactions with other people.
(Bummer, right?)
Which means life is full of contradictions and different opinions and belief systems and values and ways of doing things and ideas of what’s right and what’s wrong – what we call ‘[separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/)’.
*(Oh lordy, Giles, please don’t bring this up, I’m trying my best to ignore other people*, I hear you mutter.)
And what makes this worse, is the person opposite you—you know, the one you’re disagreeing with—is right!!
(WHAT?!?!)
To see what I mean, and why this is actually a *good* thing (to see), you’ll have to watch [this 1 min 29 second video clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=du1Sc6jkrqw&ref=gilespcroft.com):
Might sound crackers but is totally logical.
This has been lifted from the **Relationships Video Masterclass** so if you want to be able to put this kind of insight into practice for yourself, check it out on the link below.
💟
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/UM2S4?ref=gilespcroft.com)
In this ****1h56 Video Masterclass**, we go beyond the usual ‘how to have better relationships’ advice (yawn 🥱) and instead peek behind the curtain of experience itself: What **is* a relationship? How can two separate systems of thought ever even **hope* to align? And what happens when you see through the illusion of separation, entirely?
If you're after quick fixes, or step-by-step tools, this might not be your cup of tea. But if you’ve been considering questions about relationships for ages, you’ve had enough of just collecting more ideas, and you’re ready to ***see** ***something new**, then this one's for you.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/UM2S4?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Resistance is futile
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/resistance-is-futile/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T11:52:06.000Z
Reading yesterday’s Daily Reminder—about how [there’s nothing wrong with anxious feelings](https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-that/)—you would definitely be forgiven if the mind observed it and then piped up,
> 📦🗣️: *So what’s he saying here? Just *put up with it?!* You’ve got to be kidding me!!*
And here we come to perhaps the most significant stumbling block for anyone on this path (you know, the path to just getting on with life, without struggling unnecessarily).
Because of *course* that’s what a mind would say, coming at it from a mind’s frame of reference.
But this is the whole deal.
📦
We’re not **interested* in the mind’s frame of reference!!
It’s coming at life from the mind’s frame of reference that has us struggling in the first place!!
😖
There’s a massive, inconvenient, bloody frustrating [paradox](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/) at play here (and in all sorts of other areas of life) and that’s this:
> **For as long as the mind bothers you, it will continue to bother you.**
Obvious, huh?
But logical.
***“For as long as the mind bothers you…”*** (i.e. it upsets you; is seen as something to take seriously; or to deal with, or repress, or change, or get rid of; or is interpreted as a reflection of there being something wrong with you, or needing fixing)
***“… it will continue to bother you.”*** (i.e. make your life a misery, in all sorts of ways – mental health symptoms, crappy habits, procrastination, addictions, feelings of stuckness, crappy relationships, the works)!
Ever heard this phrase?
Well, this is what they mean by ‘*What you resist, persists.’*
(Given that Thought taking form is literally the ONLY thing you can EVER experience as a human, this inconvenient truth is the very *definition* of it!)
### So what's the answer? What do we do?
Given that there's only ever really one thing going on, that means there's only ever really one thing to do.
The answer to the paradox above is therefore just as inconvenient and bloody frustrating, and that’s to:
✋
Stop resisting the mind.
Stop being bothered by it. Stop giving a flying yahoo what it does or does not say.
🤷🏻♂️
And here’s the delicious paradox that lies at the heart of the Innate Health understanding:
> **When you stop being bothered by what the mind says, it stops bothering you.**
(That one’ll twist your melons if you think about it too hard, LOL.)
It’s almost like the *more* you want it to change, the *less* likely it is to change.
😳
Instead, we have to just become somewhat disinterested by it (which is the direction the **Daily Reminders** point you in… every day).
One of my all-time favourite quotes comes from the 19th Century Yogi, Sri Yukteshwar, who said,
> *“An ignored guest quickly leaves.”*
And that’s where I’ll leave it today.
One for you to ponder until we pick this thread back up in a couple of days.
So much love – you’re doing just great!
💖
Giles
### Related
[The red flag of ‘one solution’Why this ‘one thing’ I share with you is not ‘one solution’ 🚩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-one-solution/)
…having just alluded to ‘one solution’
### There's nothing wrong with that
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-that/
Last updated: 2026-01-06T20:10:02.000Z
In a conversation with a client, what came up were concerns about flying.
Not flying *per se*, but the wider contextual worries about doing some stuff for the first time: travelling alone, long haul; visiting a completely new part of the world; uncertainty, second-guessing, doubt.
Consequently there’d been a fair bit of checking and double-checking and re-checking and nervousness and pre-occupation and not-so-great sleep.
All perfectly reasonable, and as the story is unfolding in front of me I’m nodding away in recognition of these legitimate concerns, agreeing that this sounds like *exactly* the sort of thing a mind would do, faced with those circumstances.
And then we come to the question:
> *Is there anything can be done about this?*
Oh. Ummm… ah.
Weirdly, after all this time, part of me still isn’t expecting this question, so I’m a bit wrong-footed!
😂
I can’t help but answer with a question of my own; one you might have seen flash up from time to time in my [Video Masterclasses](https://payhip.com/gilespcroft/collection/video-masterclasses?ref=gilespcroft.com):
Because that’s the way to solve problems like these: figure out what the problem actually *is.*
🧐
There’s a subtext to a question like this; something that goes beyond *“I don’t like this, make it go away.”*
And that subtext is:
> *“There’s something wrong. Something that needs changing.”*
We’re back with that naughty, thinks-it’s-helpful monkey 🐒 in your head again, aren’t we? You know, the one that creates an identity out of all the stories it holds, and then pretends that’s actually You.
It says:
> *“‘I’ have identified that ‘I’ don’t like this, therefore there *must* be something up. ‘I’ must *do* something.”*
But what if there *isn’t* ‘something up’ at all?
What if… it’s just filling in the gaps of what it doesn’t know (those are some BIG gaps 😂) with the old, stale data it holds?
What if… the only ‘problem’ here is that we’re innocently buying into this mind activity, as if it were some sort of factual account of the future?
What if… this is all actually evidence of the human operating system working *exactly* as it should?
What if… these feelings of discomfort (and all the concomitant behaviours that stem from the mind trying to *manage* those feelings) are simply pointing us back to Now? To life. To the presence that we are.
A helpful little tap on the shoulder: *Hey buddy, you slipped out of reality for a moment there, and you’re off in a story. Why don’t you come back?*
Because here's the huge irony to all this: *without* these feelings of discomfort…
🤔
How else would you know your thinking had pulled you off course?
Reflect on that, today.
💟
Giles
### Related
[The storm before the calmWhat if you could see that you don’t actually have to be calm, right now? ⛈️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/storm-before-the-calm/)
Putting [anxiety](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/anxiety/) into context
### Listening for performance
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/listening-for-performance/
Last updated: 2025-12-07T22:42:47.000Z
The Innate Health understanding is a total game changer when it comes to having better relationships – both personal *and* professional.
It simplifies things.
It clarifies things.
It puts us in touch with novel solutions to seemingly intractable problems and patterns of behaviour.
(Our own, and those of others.)
And there’s only really one thing required.
(You know what it is.)
That’s right: **listening.**
But not listening how you’d imagine.
A different kind of listening. One that gets to the heart of the matter.
This [very short clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkGFvUh9LKc&ref=gilespcroft.com) is taken from the [Relationships Video Masterclass](https://gilespcroft.link/relationships?ref=gilespcroft.com) and looks at **listening for performance**.
Like I said, total game changer!
💟
Giles
### In a nut shell
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-a-nut-shell/
Last updated: 2026-01-13T10:51:19.000Z
We’ve have had a couple of lengthy Daily Reminders recently, so as a bit of a breather, here’s Matthew Inman summing things up for us, in three panels:
[](https://theoatmeal.com/comics/brain%5Fjob?ref=gilespcroft.com)
[**Link to original cartoon*](https://theoatmeal.com/comics/brain%5Fjob?ref=gilespcroft.com)
It’s trying to help—it *genuinely* believes it is—but it doesn’t know anything.
💟
Giles
### Paradox
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/
Last updated: 2026-05-14T19:09:50.000Z
It’s Sunday, so let’s slow right down and ask the big philosophical questions.
Do I seem to contradict myself some times?
Does that put you off?
(I mean, you haven’t unsubscribed yet, so it appears not.)
But there are times when I know I’ll suggest one thing—for instance that you could direct your focus away from the analytical mind, and more to life as it is, right now, to see a positive difference in your experience—and then two minutes (or two emails) later, I’m claiming there is no such thing as free will and you can’t do stuff like that, using so called “will power.” That *really*, you have no choice.
So what gives? Why am I inconsistent like that?
Well, the way I see it, especially when it comes to the nature of our experience, is that more than one thing can be (or appear) true at once.
It’s like the [Great Glass Consciousness Elevator](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/) (GGCE) ↕️ I wrote about, a while ago – one minute we see something one way, and the next minute we’ve gone up a few floors, got some altitude on it and it looks completely different… but even from that loftier perspective, we will still be fooled by thought masquerading as presence, and it gets very messy, trying to sort out the wheat from the chaff.
It’s all relative and there’s no right and no wrong; just whatever we’re seeing in that moment.
And here’s me writing about it every day—as my own GGCE ↕️ goes up and down from floor to floor and I continue to see things differently—to a community of beautiful souls who are also in their own GGCEs ↕️ going up and down from floor to floor and no doubt seeing things from different perspectives every day too.
So why write for just one of those floors?
🤷🏻♂️
One day I’ll write something and it will catch you on the exact same floor you’re at and 💥 you’ll see something fresh, that really helps.
Maybe that’s why these writings appear inconsistent, from time to time.
It’s my best guess, anyway.
---
This was never made clearer than when I listed to one of my favourite teachers, [Dicken Bettinger](https://www.youtube.com/@DickenBettinger?ref=gilespcroft.com) (who is *very* unambiguous), in a conversation about the topic of free will.
Asked directly whether or not he thought we have free will, he gave no less then three separate answers:
1. No
2. Yes
3. No (differently)
And we can flit between all three, that look equally true, at any time. That’s about as paradoxical as it comes!
So what’s the stone cold objective truth?
Well, does it *really* matter, when you experience No, Yes, and a different No as if each were objectively true?
🤔
---
When push comes to shove, it’s the mind’s seeming need to put concepts like free will into a “true” or “false” box that is the real problem here.
It gets all black & white on us and tries to hang on to one particular position, only to experience a crisis of faith when it doesn’t actually see it that way, for itself!
Ha ha!
None of this stuff is a rigid “either/or”. That’s the path of the mind. Right/wrong. Duality.
You’ll go mad, listening to the mind debate itself on those terms.
As with these writings, life is full of paradox and I think it’s actually a much more inclusive “AND” … something I felt so strongly about and saw so clearly, that one day I went to the trouble of having a t-shirt made!!
For realsies.
😂
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Thought, masquerading as presenceThe one about the Great Glass Consciousness Elevator ↕️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)
Up and down like a yo-yo, all day (and life) long.
### Is nature good for creativity?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-nature-good-for-creativity/
Last updated: 2026-01-27T16:45:02.000Z
Well, what d’you reckon? Is nature good for creativity?
It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it? I’ve often had really great ideas when out on walks or cycle rides, and I know some of you love nature for that reason, because you’ve told me.
Indeed, one client related a tale—ironically out on one of my [Walk & Talk sessions](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/), in the hills around Abergavenny—of a difficult design decision that had been bothering him and his colleague for ages. They’d had numerous meetings, tried many different things from brainstorming sessions and nothing had worked.
Frustrated, they sacked it all in and went out on a bike ride together… only to realise the obvious, much simpler solution, right there and then.
It’s pretty amazing when that happens.
Does this mean we should conduct all of our business outdoors? What is it about nature that brews this mystical alchemy?
Well, maybe nature simply gives us permission to stop using the analytical, thinky-thinky left brain Thought System 📦 for a bit, and connects us to the bigger picture: wisdom, creativity, source-energy.
(Indeed, it may actually *force* us to do this, because we’re not sat in our work environment, in front of a screen or a desk.)
But it’s not nature itself that’s doing it. It’s you – who you really are.
As Michael Neill, author of [*The Inside-Out Revolution*](https://amzn.to/49WvUGG?ref=gilespcroft.com) famously once said to a skeptical seminar attendee,
> *“You are the infinite creative potential of the entire f%$&ing Universe – deal with it!”*
😂
It’s a case of [correlation, not causation](https://www.gilespcroft.com/correlation-and-causation/), and maybe there are a few steps you can take, to help you, when you seem a bit stuck:
1. Be wise to these correlations; get your own evidence of things that seem to help
2. See that it doesn’t *always* work – i.e. that it’s not directly causal
3. Relax into the possibility that who-you-are is creativity itself, and that’s what’s actually being exposed here
4. Start depending on these principles in any situation.
Because sometimes we can’t step outside, or meditate, or get some exercise…
…but who-you-are is always there, just itching to help out.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Get your own evidenceUsing some basic IF/THEN logic to completely change our lives 🚀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/)
More steps you can take, to ‘get the juices flowing’ so to speak.
### It's not about feeling good
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/feeling-good/
Last updated: 2025-12-07T16:37:40.000Z
When you and I spend some time together, professionally, there’s every chance that you’ll feel better.
Which is great, of course—lovely, even!—but it’s not the point.
Feeling good is a means to an end, not the end itself.
But minds, being minds, they have a tendency to create a story around the experience of feeling better.
(Creating stories around our experience is the mind’s No.1 job. It’s kinda what they do!)
Often it’s to come up with [legitimate-sounding concerns](https://www.gilespcroft.com/legitimate-concerns/).
### This won't stick
Another flavour I encounter is, *“This won’t stick.”*
The mind observes you feeling better, sees that this has happened in a particular circumstance (e.g. on a call with me); does that classic [outside-in thing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) of attaching the feeling to something outside of you (me/the call); pipes up that you won’t be on the call for much longer; projects into the future to a scenario it normally finds a bit difficult and arrives at that conclusion:
> *“Oh, this won’t stick.”*
It’s textbook mind. It’s got no idea what’s actually going on, so it thinks in very simple, black and white terms: feeling good/feeling bad… cause/effect.
But none of this is about feeling good.
It’s seeing something deeper about the very nature of your experience: here, now; and in the past; and forever into the future… and that doesn’t really happen when you’re all caught up in a bunch of negative thinking and misery.
Feeling good is a means to an end, not the end itself.
If you want something to make you intermittently feel better, may I suggest exercise, or perhaps eating biscuits. Alcohol’s good, too, I seem to remember. Gambling works for some. Or shopping. You could do some emergency, interventional meditation or employ whatever mind-hack they taught you in your CBT sessions.
And those “won’t stick” either.
Of course you’re not going to always “feel good” – you’re human, FFS! 🤦🏻♂️
However, insightfully seeing the nature of the experience you’re having, and who you really are *underneath* all that stormy weather of experience… *that’s* what’s going to make the biggest difference in your life, going forwards.
That’s when you become “less bothered by being bothered” (another t-shirt idea, maybe?) and get to show up in life authentically, fully, freely, open to it all.
However you feel.
💟
Giles
### This moment right in front of you
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-moment-right-in-front-of-you/
Last updated: 2026-08-13T10:28:01.000Z
I’m listening to Michael Singer’s [Living Untethered](https://amzn.to/4nksCCw?ref=gilespcroft.com) and he doesn’t pull any punches about the experience we’re having, or what our minds are making of it.
I’m just going to leave this here and wish you a happy Tuesday.
> *“If it took 13.8 billion years for the moment in front of you to get there, and it took 13.8 billion years for you to end up in front of that moment. Every moment is indeed a match made in heaven.*
>
> *“Nobody else is standing there experiencing what you’re experiencing. Truth is… no one ever did and no one ever will. That exact moment will never be here again. All moments just keep passing through time and space. You are being given a unique show that took billions of years to create. It’s right in front of you and you’re complaining about it.”*
Ha ha, sometimes I really need to hear this!
😂🤣
He continues…
> *“We all think we have good reasons to complain.”*
I know the Giles Ego Construct 📦 sure does!
Its complaints all look like genuine, [legitimate concerns](https://www.gilespcroft.com/legitimate-concerns/).
> *“The intention of this journey we are on together is to take away those reasons, whatever they are. The moment in front of you is a gift from creation. There are shapes, colours and sounds. There are people and lots of things to do. It’s not that way on Mars. Or on any place that we’ve seen thus far in our studies of the Universe.*
>
> *“But we don’t live our lives with a constant sense of awe and appreciation. … Your consciousness may be aware of the moment in front of you, but you did not create that moment. You’re simply being given this wonderful opportunity to experience a moment in creation that took billions of years to get here. Be sure you don’t miss it.”*
***Wakey wakey!***
⏰😮
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Legitimate concerns
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/legitimate-concerns/
Last updated: 2026-03-20T14:28:45.000Z
There’s a thing that happens *a lot*, and it’s in your interests to be wise to it.
It’s the mind, raising what I call “legitimate concerns.”
(Legitimate, to *it*, naturally 🙄)
### How the mind responds to presence
I was coming towards the end of a really great session with a client. We’d spent 90 minutes or so out in nature and realised some profound truths about the nature of the condition they’d presented with.
An edifice of belief, innocently built up over a lifetime, was crumbling, right there and then, in front of our very eyes, to reveal the well being that had been there, all along.
Insight in action. It was quite something.
This had happened in that space of quiet reflection that is our deepest essence; a place I’ve devoted myself to helping others reach. Because that’s where the answers are found.
So we’d been silent for a bit, walking side by side, resting in presence, where everything made total sense; where life was seen *as it is.*
And then the mind started raising legitimate concerns:
> *“The thing is Giles, while I don’t disagree with *any* of this at all—I’m absolutely, 100% on board with it all—I know what I’m like. I know what’s going to happen the next time I…”*
…and a good five minutes were spent revisiting all the patterns of the past; every single one of them meticulously reasoned, explained and mapped out with precision logic.
(Like I say, they are always *legitimate* concerns, to a mind. There’s nothing unreasonable about them in the slightest!)
But it’s because the mind doesn’t understand the well of being that sits at our core (it’s got nothing to do with it). It can’t conceptualise something that’s beyond conceptualisation, and, at the end of the day, concepts are the currency of the mind.
Legitimate concerns are ***all*** conceptual. They’re ***all*** future based, using past experience.
By definition they’re not true, because they’re not NOW.
They’re a fantasy, built on the back of a fairytale.
📦🦄🧚🏻♀️
I’m paid to listen and it’s amazing how easy it is for me to get sucked into these stories too, in fact it usually makes me laugh when I spot it.
Thankfully I knew my client has a great sense of humour (as do all humans really, when resting in their true nature). So I feigned surprise:
> *“Whoa, whoa… hang on a minute, I think we might have found a genuine sticking point here! Blimey! I think you might have spotted a flaw in this entire Innate Health thing. I think* [*Syd*](https://3pgc.org/sydney-banks/?ref=gilespcroft.com) *might have been… wrong!!”*
😆
### Why the mind raises legitimate concerns
I jest, but we need to be wise to ego dissolving (because it’s not needed), us feeling at peace as a result, and then ego feeling all left out and [coming back in a different outfit](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-many-outfits-of-ego/).
It’s the most natural thing on earth, and it’s not a problem.
It’s doing its best and we need to be kind to it (= “self care”).
And yeah, I get it – it’s the hardest thing to spot.
Because, in the absence of knowing *anything* of presence and being-well, the mind **genuinely believes** that *it* is what is dealing with stuff, as it comes up, moment to moment; that *it’s* keeping you safe.
When it’s not. It’s just [observing and commenting](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/).
It’s not in charge and when you consider that the mind is, to all intents and purposes, a concept-*machine*, well, them ‘not-being-in-charge’ is something that it finds to be literally “inconceivable.”
So that’s why these “legitimate concerns” arise.
A mind, doing its best. Trying to help.
Dragging you away from the very thing it’s trying to achieve.
🤦🏻♂️
Giles
### Your next read
[The many outfits of egoThe mind doesn’t like presence. It will do anything to catch your attention. 🧥The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-many-outfits-of-ego/)
### The many outfits of ego
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-many-outfits-of-ego/
Last updated: 2025-12-07T16:35:07.000Z
> ***“Everything’s pretty much ok, so why do I feel a bit perturbed?”***
In conversation with a client.
There was a bit of a sense of foreboding, as if it wasn’t ok that things were ok.
I floated the idea that it might be ego, up to its tricks.
You see, ego—which just wants to exist; you can’t really blame it!—has no incentive to keep showing up in the same form. Once you’ve spotted one of its disguises, you’ll spot it again quickly.
So it has to evolve.
It’s like chatting away to someone in a room, that is causing you disquiet. Then you see who it is, underneath the outfit they’re wearing - *“Oh, you’re ego! I see you! Ha – be off with you!”* and you usher them out the door.
Then someone different taps you on the shoulder and you get chatting. They seem completely normal and friendly, until they start making unreasonable demands on you and before you know it, there’s disquiet again.
And then it dawns on you – *“Hang on, you’re the same person, just wearing a different outfit!! You’re ego again! I see you! Ha – be off with you!”*
And so it continues.
For as long as we draw breath.
It’ll show up in all sorts of ways. More than you can imagine in fact, because it will always be one step ahead of you, at first.
It will probably come [disguised as presence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/), but it’s not.
This is why I always advise people to be properly in touch with their feelings, because that’s the best (only?) guide you’ve got.
Disquiet is, by definition, ego. It’s the source of *all* disquiet.
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind.
(I think this is why Syd Banks was always encouraging us to *“look for a good feeling”* – not because we should devote our lives to hedonism, but because a “bad” feeling is not the place to go looking for any answers!)
It won’t look like that at first, because it’s changed its outfit and come back in via another door.
🥸
Giles
### Your next read
[Thought, masquerading as presenceThe one about the Great Glass Consciousness Elevator ↕️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)
### Expectations and reality
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/expectations-and-reality/
Last updated: 2025-12-14T13:33:08.000Z
The other day I wrote about how I saw a friend of mine when he wasn’t actually there.
(Which is different from *thinking* that I saw my friend; to find out exactly *how* they’re different, you’ll have to read [the original Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mistaken-identity/).)
Well, here’s a funny little story to demonstrate that the opposite is possible too: you can *not* see someone, when they *are* there.
🙈
Many years ago I played a naughty little prank on my mum, leveraging the principles behind how we experience life to cause confusion and chaos in the Cotswolds.
I’d been invited to go and visit for Sunday lunch—my sister was coming down to stay from the North of England—but the date unfortunately clashed with a bike race I’d entered ages before, so I couldn’t go.
Everyone was disappointed but, you know, shit happens, so we all got on with our lives and I arranged to come over to Mum’s some other time.
Except, at the last minute, due to bad weather up in mid-Wales, the race was cancelled.
So I hatched a plan.
😈
I borrowed a big overcoat from a friend, jumped in the car and started the hour-or-so’s journey over to my mum’s, to surprise her.
On the way, first I phoned my sister, who was travelling by train, to let her know what I was up to, and to place bets as to whether I could pull it off.
And then I phoned my mum… pretending I was *en route* to the bike race, and expressing my regret again at not being there for the family shindig.
Misdirection!
With her expectations firmly set to create a very particular reality—one where Giles was in mid-Wales—I got to the train station (a tiny two-platform affair) well in advance of when my sister was due to arrive, and sat on the *opposite* platform, knowing my mum would be along shortly, to wait for her.
And she was. A good 20 minutes before she had to. To sit directly opposite me, on the other platform. She was so close I could have had a conversation with her.
🥸
I was wearing the long overcoat, some dark sunglasses and a hat and I can tell you, my heart was beating faster than it would have been, if I *had* been racing my bike at that moment!!
I stared straight at her for those 20 minutes and every time she looked over at me (pretending not to), I smiled. And she’d look away. And every time she did, I couldn’t quite believe that she hadn’t recognised me.
The power of Thought!!
Eventually my sister’s train arrived on the other platform and with it blocking the view between us, I headed up to wait on the bridge I knew they’d have to come over, to walk back to the house, which was just round the corner.
As they came up the stairs I saw my mum grab my sister’s arm, to pull her out of my way, saying quite loudly (in that way that only parents can) that this weird man had been staring at her the entire time she was there and should be given a wide berth…
… at which point I whipped off the hat and the sunglasses and said,
> *“Hi Mum, it’s me!”*
😇
---
I’ve had to pause typing this for a few minutes while I gather myself because I’ve been laughing *so* much at the thought of the look on my mum’s face, and of seeing my sister doubled over in fits at her response… 😂🤣😂🤣
Such a naughty boy!
---
But look, here we go again – this is yet another demonstration of the fact that **we do not experience reality**; we experience Thought-perception, being created through the lens of our conditioning.
The *entirety* of our felt experience of life comes from *within*, as if there was a movie playing, projecting the story of our lives outwards into the world, through our eyes.
My mum had two *totally* different experiences of that vibrating mass of energy in ‘overcoat,’ ‘sunglasses’ & ‘hat’ that occurred on her watch – the first being rooted in ‘other’ and fear (which was fair enough); and the second being rooted in total confusion, then relief, and then severe reprimanding of her insolent offspring for pulling such a cruel deception!!!
You can remember this, the next time you find yourself taking ‘reality’ a little too seriously.
😉
Giles
### Mentioned above
[Mistaken identityThe surprising fact that your moment to moment experience might be \*real\* but it’s not \*true\* 😮The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mistaken-identity/)
The flip side of your Thought-perception ‘reality’: seeing someone who's ***not** there
### Schrödinger's wellbeing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/schrodingers-wellbeing/
Last updated: 2026-03-01T19:52:00.000Z
You know the famous Quantum Physics thought experiment – [Schrödinger’s cat](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s%5Fcat?ref=gilespcroft.com)*,* that is both alive and dead at the same time?
No, I haven’t got the foggiest either, but it’s got something to do with the very act of *observing* an object or situation changing its nature.
(Over-simplification, I know. Don’t @ me.)
Then one day, the phrase “Schrödinger’s wellbeing” popped into my head and I started chuckling to myself, because it strikes me as the same.
I often quiz my clients, when they’re complaining that things are persistently rubbish, with very little let-up:
🤔
How would you **know* when you were present?
It’s like a Quantum Physics thought experiment itself, or a Zen [kõan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koan?ref=gilespcroft.com) – an unanswerable question.
Because the very act of *observing* presence, means you’re not present.
Presence is the *absence* of the mind; the *absence* of analysis and categorisation.
Riddle me that one, dear reader!
🤔
So, here we go…
What if… we are actually present to life a lot more than we ‘think’ we are, because—by definition—it’s only when we’re *not,* that we notice.
Have fun playing with that one today!
💟
Giles
p.s. I reckon presence is the most normal, straightforward, even boring thing going and the only reason we make such a big deal out of it is because of the mind trying to understand its own absence. Can’t be done!
### Mistaken identity
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/mistaken-identity/
Last updated: 2026-01-26T22:48:33.000Z
We were on our way home from summer holidays, on a ferry; a midday crossing.
I’d been to bed late, packing the van, the night before, and we’d had to be on the road by 5am, so I was knackered.
I employed my ninja-level snoozing skills to good effect, curled up like a cat on one of the sofas, and in the middle of ship-deck bedlam, I was out like a light.
About 45 minutes later I resurfaced, groggily dragged myself to vertical, surveyed the teeming masses, and with real surprise saw my best friend walking towards me!
😮
(At this point, I should note that I hadn’t seen him for ages, he *wasn’t* on holiday with us and there was no real conceivable way he could have been there.)
And yet I saw him.
For about half a second.
And then of course it wasn’t him, just someone roughly the same height (he’s tall), with the same sort of glasses and wearing the same sorts of clothes he wears (we’re creatures of habit, us middle-aged men).
So did I see him, or not?
🤔
The obvious thing to say would be,
> *Of course not, Giles – it wasn’t him!*
But at the same time, for that split second, I actually *did* have the exact same experience I have when he’s stood there, right in front of me.
Because I can’t experience my friend any other way than via the **Principle of Thought** (that you can think of as thought-perception, if it helps).
The mind creates an experience, using the data it has at its disposal (vibrating energy field that includes our thought system of experiences, conditioning, memory & beliefs) and delivers a ‘best guess’ at what must be happening, in order for those particular data to be being received.
So in my half-awake state, it’s not like I looked up and thought,
> *“Ooh, I wonder if that’s Si? Looks just like him! Could it…? Is it…? Naaaah.”*
No, **I literally saw him.**
That was the ‘reality’ the mind created for me as it came round from blissful slumber and started taking data in through the eyes again.
And then a split second later, a bit more data came in, the ‘reality’ got updated and the poor chap I was gawping at morphed, as if by magic, back into not-Si… just some hapless geezer that happens to look like him.
And this is true for *everything* you perceive. It’s all ‘made up’ in this way. (It’s quite bonkers when you reflect on it.)
The screen you’re looking at right now – that’s just energy in the form of dots of light. Nobody in the Universe is having the same experience as you right now, because it’s *your* mind’s ‘best guess’ at what’s going on!
The experience is real—Hi 👋🏻 I’m waving at you right now, as I type this—but it’s not true. It’s a creation of the mind; a work of fiction.
Now I wonder if that has *any* implications for the rest of life at all???
🤯
Giles
### Related
[Expectations and realityThat one time I leveraged the power of the 3 Principles to play a scandalously mean trick on my mum 😂The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/expectations-and-reality/)
As well as seeing what's ***not** there, the mind can also not see what ***is** there! 🤯
### The 3Ps aren't a thing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T19:41:49.000Z
During a coaching conversation, someone told me they’d been receiving the Daily Reminders for ages, scratching their head because I kept casually mentioning the ‘3Ps’ or the ‘3 Principles’ or just ‘the principles’ but I never actually said what they were.
As a logical, scientific person used to information and learning and understanding and remembering and applying, this had them completely baffled.
Why would I do that? What was wrong with me?
Was it a mistake? Or some kind of test of initiative? Why didn’t I explain what they were and how they fit in with what I write about each day?
(Guilty as charged 😬🤷🏻♂️)
So they took it upon themselves to go and look them up… and were none the wiser!
😂
And there’s a reason of course, and that reason is that they’re not really a thing.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, we can *talk* about them, put words to them, describe what we see them as, or think they are. I could definitely do that.
But it won’t help you.
I already knew this, but I re-realised it at this year’s [3 Principles conference](https://www.3puk.org/?ref=gilespcroft.com). I was sat there in the audience, listening to one person after another *not* actually talking about the 3Ps and I thought, *Is it any wonder we struggle to share this profoundly life-changing understanding with people?!*
🫠
Let me help this to make a bit more sense for you.
In the last few weeks, a number of unrelated readers have got in touch with me completely randomly, to say they’ve come across something online—a podcast; a blog post; a workshop—and it really looked like the person speaking/writing was ‘3Ps-aware’ and yet they weren’t actually mentioning them.
Did I think maybe they’d come across them? Are there maybe more people out there who know about the 3Ps than are letting on? Could I have a listen/read and let them know what I think?
🤔
And this is exactly it, for me. For the answer is both:
✅
****YES** – they’re absolutely tuned into the 3Ps. I can tell by listening/reading.
AND
❌
****NO** – I very much doubt they've ever even **heard* of [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) or the 3Ps. They’ve found their own way there.
Because the 3Ps aren’t actually a thing.
Not a tool, or a technique. Not a belief system or a method. Not even a ‘set of principles to live by’ (even though they’re labelled as ‘Principles’, how crazy is that)?! 🤪
The 3 Principles are simply a **metaphor** for the ineffable mysteries of life, in the same way that art, or poetry, or film, or [religion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/isnt-this-just-another-religion/), or [music](https://www.gilespcroft.com/metaphors-all-the-way-down/) or dance or every damn thing I write about here in the Daily Reminders are *all* metaphors for the ineffable mysteries of life.
The key, as is so often quoted in Zen teachings, is:
> **🌗 Don’t look at the finger pointing to the moon, look at the moon.**
None of what I point to has anything to do with learning or understanding or remembering or applying – these are the tools of the mind (the equivalent of ‘looking at the finger’).
All that stuff is great for pub quizzes and remembering how to tie your shoelaces, but it’s got naff-all to do with you living a happy, fulfilled life.
For that, just keep showing up, stay curious and keep gathering your own evidence for these principles at play in *your* life – you’ll find it everywhere, when you look!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Necessary ingredients for changeThe three things everybody needs, to get the change they want, whatever it is 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/)
What you **do* need, if you're in the market for change.
### The ‘insert topic here’ thought
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-insert-topic-here-thought/
Last updated: 2026-08-31T23:48:21.000Z
I was sharing some additional materials with a client the other day, and we sat together and watched Michael Neill’s wonderful TEDx talk: [*Why Aren’t We Awesomer*](https://gilespcroft.link/awesomer?ref=gilespcroft.com)*?*
If you’ve not seen it, it’s essential viewing: funny, to the point (it’s only 14 minutes long) and shoots like an arrow, straight to the heart of the inside-out understanding.
(I mean, Michael [wrote the book](https://amzn.to/4gldDFP?ref=gilespcroft.com), so it makes sense that he’d be pretty good at articulating it.)
For a long time, this was my all time favourite TED talk and yet I’ve not watched it for *years*.
I’m pleased to report it has stood the test of time, and as I was listening to Michael relate his story once more (he suffered from bouts of severe depression and suicidal ideation, before coming across this understanding), I was struck by the way he described that experience. He said he realised that:
> *“Oh, that’s just ‘The Suicide Thought’ – it doesn’t make it true.”*
And because it’s one of the most taboo thoughts a human can have—if followed through, it leads to the end of being a human!—it really makes you sit up and listen.
I can’t remember which book of his it is (maybe a podcast episode, or a conference talk), but he comes back to this notion of the ‘x, y, or z’ thought again, when he relates that since leaving behind *‘The Suicide Thought’* it shows up in all sorts of different—very human!—guises instead.
- Argument with wife → *‘The Divorce Thought’* pops up
- Bad day at work → There’s the *‘Quit My Job* *Thought’*.
Without putting words in Michael’s mouth, I think what he’s trying to convey is that these are very natural ‘mind-reactions’ to certain situations.
Crucially, you’ll note they all occur in a very low frame of mind:
- Depressed: Suicide
- Disagreement: Divorce
- Bad day: Quit
And here’s the key:
🔑
This is ****the** ***best** **the mind can come up with**, from that low level of consciousness.
It’s wisdom in the moment.
The mind is suffering, a lot. In such a low mood, it has no idea this it’s the *cause* of that suffering.
So it presents the only solution it can think of, in that moment: escape!
As he relates in the TED talk, it was the next morning, when he’d come out of the psychotic episode he was having and got some perspective (i.e. higher mood/level of consciousness) that wisdom presented him with a much deeper insight:
> *“Oh. I don’t actually want to die!”*
And from that point onwards—knowing that it was just the best the conditioned mind could come up with in a low level of consciousness, and that it didn’t mean a damn thing—he stopped paying attention to *‘The Suicide Thought’* when it arose.
And it naturally just faded away.
---
So, what is it for you, dear reader?
**What’s your ‘x, y, or z’ thought?**
(Substitute your most outlandish & destructive thing to think about, that you notice happening on your watch, especially when you’re in a low state of mind.)
Do you know—like, really ***know***—that you don’t have to believe it?
If you give it your attention, get into it, delve around in the whys and wherefores of it… it’ll just get stickier and sticker.
But if you stop taking it so seriously… it’ll naturally just fade away.
Enjoy your weekend – watch the TED talk, if you haven’t already!
💟
Giles
p.s. If you’re thinking, *“But Giles, sometimes ‘Escape!’ is the right thing to do!”* I hear you. In situations of physical danger, or unremitting psychological abuse, then removal, divorce or quitting *could* be just the ticket. It all depends!
Nothing here is saying anyone ‘should’ (🚩) or ‘should not’ (🚩) do *anything* in particular! We’re simply looking at the principles that govern our experience. We tend to see ‘the path’ a lot clearer, when it’s not cluttered with misconceptions 💝
### The TED Talk
Took me a while for this to sink in: **“We're not afraid of what we think we're afraid of. We're afraid of what we think.”* ****ESSENTIAL VIEWING**
### Finish lines
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/finish-lines/
Last updated: 2025-12-19T16:21:15.000Z
Yesterday, I spoke about an actual, [real-life finish line](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-ads-my-ads/).
So today, let’s talk about imaginary finish lines, shall we?
🏁
Years and years ago, when I left Medicine, I spotted that the imaginary finish line I’d been aiming for—becoming a consultant surgeon; having a private practice; making lots of money—wasn’t really a finish line at all.
You see, studying and practicing surgery was bloody hard work, and one of the things that kept me going, with all the book-bashing, the exams, the tedious academic journal submissions and the various jumping-through-hoops I had to do, was this notion that:
⌛
****One Day Things Will Be OK.**
The Mr-Croft-Ego-Construct 📦 (for I was far enough into surgery to have dropped the ‘Dr’ and re-become a ‘Mr’ by then) honestly believed that when the Consultant-hood finish line was crossed, I’d be happy.
It seemed like a no-brainer. I mean, why the hell else was I putting myself through these horrors (no social life, very few weekends off, evenings of study) if not to reach some sort of goal, where it would all be worth it?
🏁 😎
### Evidence to the contrary
But then I noticed something odd. I was surrounded by people who had already crossed that imaginary finish line… and some of them were very obviously *not* happy. And they made it clear that they *didn’t* think it was worth it.
Oh.
I began to question the Finish Line Hypothesis that had kept me going for so long.
Had I been sold a lie?
🤨
Now I look back, I think this was the first real-life experience I had of the Inside-Out Understanding (the recognition that 100% of our felt experience of life comes from thought in the moment, *not* from our circumstances).
It was my first inkling, because I saw so clearly that money and status and houses and holidays and fancy cars didn’t guarantee happiness.
(Dammit.)
I drifted away from Medicine not long after that, and started looking for happiness elsewhere, eventually realising it was there all along.
🤦🏻♂️
### Sneaky mind strikes again
But here’s the thing…
If we *do* realise it was there all along—that happiness is an inside job—the mind, being the mind, imagines *this* to be some sort of finish line, too!
(Honestly, it sees sodding finishing lines everywhere!)
Which is why I seem to have so many conversations with clients that go something like this:
- *“I know it just my thinking, and yet…”*
- *“Why do I feel so bad? I shouldn’t feel like this any more!”*
- *“There’s obviously something I’m missing here, because things shouldn’t be like this.”*
- *“How come I react in that way? Surely I’m past all that now?”*
- *“Why do I still get emotional in these situations? It’s silly!”*
The mind convinces itself that having-an-insight is synonymous with crossing-a-finish-line and once we’ve seen the rock-solid connection between thought and feeling, or we’ve had an experience of our Innate Health, that suddenly [everything should be ok now](https://www.gilespcroft.com/everything-should-be-ok-now/).
It’s like the mind thinks there's some sort of finish line, beyond which point, we stop being human!
🤖
So no.
**(Any of you old-timers recognise this?!)*
It's much deeper than that.
Our Thought Systems are going to respond to life’s happenstance in whatever way they respond to it.
You don’t get to choose.
And being ok with whatever it throws at you—**with *not* being ok**—is the key.
Just let that one rattle around in there for the rest of the day.
😘
Giles
p.s. I mean, it’s not like there’s a quote, saying this very same thing, at the bottom of every. single. email. I send out or anything!!
### Your next reads
[Looking forwardIt’s easy to vilify future-thinking, but it’s not \*bad\* per se… you can use it to your advantage! 🔮The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-forward/)
Why ‘looking forward’ isn't ***bad**, per se.
[Everything should be ok nowA very common mind-reaction to having an insight. You are not alone 💖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/everything-should-be-ok-now/)
Seeing the TRUE NATURE of things is not a finish line. It's an experience, just like any other.
### Your ads, my ads
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-ads-my-ads/
Last updated: 2026-01-03T01:47:57.000Z
It’s been a tough week’s TV viewing here at Croft Towers.
By which I mean there have been *two* major races on and we’ve been juggling highlights of both.
Just last night, as the summit finish tension mounted on the screen, Mrs C was heard to say, *I’m confused. Is this the Vuelta again, or the Tour of Britain?*
The latter of those two has been a blast, coming literally past our front door yesterday (they resurfaced the road! 🙌🏻) and finishing with a double-ascent of our local mountain, The Tumble.
We, along with friends, our local cycling club and the rest of humanity, decided to ride up there to catch the atmosphere and the action. It was spectacular, especially when the kids from our club got to ride down the finishing straight through a wall of noise – that data will be embedded in their Thought Systems for a long time! 😍 📦
0:00
/0:27
1×
Crossing the finish line of the 2025 Tour of Britain Queen Stage to the Tumble, Abergavenny
Anyway, for one reason or another, I have been watching Australian footage of the *Vuelta a España* (mostly while on the indoor trainer) which means I’ve been exposed to Australian commentary—occasionally hilarious—and also Australian TV Ads.
Which, to my surprise, haven’t bothered me at all, in spite of their universally banal nature.
Nobody likes having their TV viewing interrupted by Ads (except kids, who lap it up) and while the British Ads make the Giles Ego Construct 📦 want to smash things with hammers, the Australian ones just make it chuckle.
Why is that?
I’ve been pondering it, from an Innate Health perspective and I can only think it’s because there’s not even the remotest possibility that I could buy any of the products on offer, so it doesn’t get all indignant and resistant to the meal plans and flashy cars and days out at the local zoo.
It’s a bit like that thing where you go on holiday and actually *embrace* all of the cultural discrepancies, because different values and beliefs are attractive (and paid for!) when *expected* to be different… yet it’s a different matter at home, or with our loved ones, when ego expects *their* values and beliefs to be the same as ours.
(Ouch, you weren't expecting that, sorry! 🔥)
Personally, I’m just pleased I got to turn hours of sitting on my arse watching TV into a loving reminder for you to become more aware of your mind, instigating unwarranted drama in your life.
You’re so welcome.
😘
Giles
### Already accepted
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/already-accepted/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T14:15:43.000Z
Here’s a radical Sunday thought for you to play with.
What if that difficult or unpleasant situation you’ve been told you ‘should’ (🚩) try and come to terms with… has actually *already* been accepted by who you really are?
Just by dint of the very fact that you’re experiencing it?
🤔
Imagine you’d just made a cup of coffee with the last drop of milk in the house and someone comes along and says… *“I need that milk – can’t you drink your coffee black today, so I can use it?”*
Or you’d just made an omelette and you want to get the eggs back out of it.
It can’t be done, can it?
🍳
Well, what if it’s the same with your experience?
Once it’s there, it’s a done deal. This is the creation of the mind-body; what you get.
There’s no going back.
Who you really are (the energy of life itself, or ‘Mind’ in [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com) terminology; perhaps ‘God’ if you’re off to church today) has painted a picture of reality (from Thought) onto the canvas of awareness (Consciousness).
There it is. This situation. Accepted into your Being.
Who you really are has already let it in. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be experiencing it.
😯
As I say, one to play with. Does it cause even a *tickle* of recognition, deep within you?
Mind’s don’t do well with radical ideas like this, so if you find it trying to figure this out, or reason its way through it, or against it, just back off a little… go back to the tickle.
Just be present to your experience, whatever form it takes.
Because, as Eckhart Tolle points out,
> **“Full attention *is* full acceptance.”**
💟
Giles
### Related
[Stop trying to change your behaviourQuestion: Can you get an egg back out of an omelette? 🍳The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/stop-trying-to-change-your-behaviour/)
### The two things keeping you awake
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-things-keeping-you-awake/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T19:39:35.000Z
How are you sleeping at the moment, dear Reader?
If the answer is *“Like a baby, thanks Giles,”* then you can skip this one.
Otherwise, grab yourself a hot cup of cocoa, snuggle up warm and read on…
😴
You see, I’ve had a few conversations about sleep with clients recently, and as a result, the issue has crystallised for me.
Keeping it simple—because, as [**Syd Banks**](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) said: *“Look for simplicity. Simplicity holds the key you’re looking for”—*I’ve come to see that there are basically only **two reasons for not sleeping**.
Either:
1. We mistake thought as being **helpful**, or
2. We mistake thought as being **harmful**.
See? Simples.
🤷🏻♂️
In the former case—seeing it as helpful—we’re going to keep ourselves awake all night by paying attention to it. Delving into it. Having arguments with people in our heads. Trying to solve problems. Fretting. Analysing.
If it looks like you’re going to get stuff sorted, by lying there thinking… then that’s what you’re going to do.
Instead of sleeping 🤦🏻♂️
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us.
In the latter case—seeing it as harmful—we get really freaked out by it; scared by the stories it makes up about tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. And we spiral a bit.
Or, as we lie there, tossing and turning, we think we’ve identified what’s happening as being “unhelpful thought” and so we try really hard to do battle with it; meditate it away; resist it; fix the problem.
But it’s sneaky so we don’t notice that all of *that* involves… \[drum roll please 🥁\] … *more* thought!
😬
The fact is, that thought is neither harmful or helpful, it’s completely **neutral**.
**Thought just is.**
Or, if it helps, let's flip it:
1. Recognise thought as **harmless** (it’s not made of anything; it can’t harm you)!
2. Recognise thought as **helpless** (i.e. the mind’s gonna do what the mind’s gonna do; it’s trying to help, in its own special way, and there’s nothing to be done about that).
The observant among you will note that these two things (=duality) are in fact just ONE thing: your relationship with thought. How you see it.
Change that and your life changes completely… sleep ’n’ all.
😲
I just wrote an article on sleep for the Focus Magazine, and in it I concluded:
> **“Sleep is *the* most natural way that life looks after you.”**
And really, it’s only the fact that the mind doesn’t *know* that, that has it intervening in the first place, trying to do all the jobs that sleep—and life—does for us in the background.
But on some level, YOU know that.
And that’s the direction to look in, for a good night’s sleep.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Time to sleep, mindA quick sleep tip that has changed my life for the better 🛌The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/time-to-sleep-mind/)
### Who's to blame?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-to-blame/
Last updated: 2025-12-18T16:27:57.000Z
I bumped my head and it was like life, in a nutshell.
I’d left the house and when I came back, my wife had hung something out to air in the back yard.
Brushing past the washing line – *SMACK!*
💥
My head hit the hanging metal peg basket that I’d not noticed. It was a painful shock.
## **What happens first**
Well, interestingly, the first way this mind-body responded to the situation was to yell,
> *“Ouch!!”*
I had no control over that, it just came out.
This is important to see. Because this is our conditioning. It’s like a trauma response or something. I can’t change it; it’s a sort of reflex.
(Remember this, the next time you have an instant reaction to a situation, and start beating yourself up.)
It’s the just the mind-body, responding in a way that’s appropriate to *it*, and all the information it’s already got, stored away in there.
That’s *your* stuff. [Own it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/embrace-your-inner-weird/).
Now, does this mean I’ll *always* shout *“Ouch!!”* out loud, in such a situation?
(Will you *always* react the same way, in that situation you always seem to react to?)
No! To believe things will [always be the same](https://www.gilespcroft.com/always/) is just a mind, with its black & white, this-is-just-how-it-is, algorithmic, judgemental thinking.
🤖
Things change. Perspectives change. We change!
So maybe there’ll be a time when it doesn’t turn out like that. I don’t know. I can’t predict the future.
(I mean, what *might* change is that I slow down a bit and look where I’m going? Maybe *that’s* the change that leads to no *“Ouch!!”* 🤷🏻♂️)
## **What happens next**
What happens next is determined by my grounding ***in that moment.***
(Where ‘Grounding’ = Level of consciousness = Mood = How I’m seeing life.)
On this occasion, although I was rushed enough to not really be looking where I was going, it just so happened that I wasn’t in a super-low mood or anything.
So, after the reflex *“Ouch!!”* three things happened in quick succession:
1. I briefly swore at the inanimate object (which is pointless)
2. I experienced the tiniest flash of anger at the fact that the peg basket was there in the first place, and I wasn’t the one who’d put it there (again; pointless)
3. I then immediately had the idea for this Daily Reminder.
How awesome is that? All of that just happened. Not one iota of it in my control.
I didn't *choose* to swear. I didn't *choose* to feel anger. I didn't *make* the idea appear.
👁️
And yet 100% of it happened on ‘my’ watch.
Just like *everything* that happens in life.
## **Playing the blame game**
The mind loves to blame.
It has this need to create a story about why *everything* happens.
It thinks that it needs to know who is at fault… in order to establish that *it* isn't at fault.
😂
(If you live in the litigious U.S. I’m guessing this is not news to you. Closer to home, if you’ve got kids, you’ll have seen this in action – *everything* that happens has to be attributed as being *someone’s* fault!)
So in the above scenario, the mind wants to absolve itself of *any* responsibility for the fact that an incident occurred where the body got damaged (albeit very lightly).
The great irony being that the *only* reason I smashed my head in the first place was because I was distracted (by it!!!) and not really paying attention to my surroundings.
🤦🏻♂️
### **Blame Level 1**
As you’ll have seen above, the most immediate thing for the mind to blame was the peg basket itself.
(I can’t believe I just typed that.)
But hey, I was the one swearing at it! And honestly, there would have been a time in my life where I was *so* wound up all the time by my thinking that I would have punched it (further damaging the body), or picked it up and thrown it against the wall (incurring cost).
It is possible to be *that* lost. That asleep to the nature of things.
I’ve been there. (Have you?)
😐
### **Blame Level 2**
And as it scrabbled around for something a little less ridiculous than an inanimate object, it moved on. The next thing it could find to blame was the person who’d put it there. My wife.
Now, if I’d been in a super-low mood, I suspect I would have got into a *massive* story about that:
- *“Why does she need to hang stuff out to air anyway? I wouldn’t do that!”* (Reality check: I do weird, unhelpful stuff in the back yard with my bikes all the time.)
- *“Why not move the peg basket out of the way? I always do!”* (Reality check: I really don’t. I’ve hit my head on it hanging washing out myself, countless times.)
- And all sorts of other nonsense that *didn’t* occur to me at the time, but I could certainly make up now, as I sit here writing.
Having had a fair amount of experience of the Giles Ego Construct Patterns Of Behaviour (G.E.C.P.O.B. – catchy! 📦) I also suspect that in spite of this malcontent, I probably *wouldn’t* have said anything.
(Because let’s face it – those complaints sound pretty silly when written down, don't they?)
And if I *didn’t* say anything, I’m betting that resentful internal dialogue would have simmered on and, ironically, because I’d have been caught up in a whole bunch of thinking, it means:
- I’d be crashing around in that way we do when we’re angry inside our heads
- I’d very likely then have stubbed a toe, or spilled a drink, or dropped something or bumped into a door frame
- Everything would have appeared *much* worse.
I think this is what they mean by Thought creating our reality.
💭🖼️
## **What’s your point, Giles?**
All of it—this whole thing!—lies downstream of my **relationship with Thought**.
👉🏻 **Unaware**, I give it meaning, listen to it and take it seriously → my day is ruined.\*
👉🏻 **Aware** of the [MECHANICS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mechanics/) of how this stuff works, I see my reaction for what it is and let it pass on through → you get this Daily Reminder.
You’re welcome!
💟
Giles
p.s. \*In fairness, given that I’ve committed to sending one of these out every day, and life’s happenstance delivers such bounteous gifts of insight, even the ‘ruined day’ version would probably have made it into the page at some point! 😂
p.p.s. Obviously, the *real* answer to this question is: [*No One Is To Blame*](https://youtu.be/bi42T42hd1A?ref=gilespcroft.com) 🎵😉
### Mentioned above
[Embrace your inner weirdDo you have weird behaviours? Me too. How about you stop making a big deal of it? 😅The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/embrace-your-inner-weird/)
Psychology vs. Spirituality: Where the rubber meets the road.
### Insight, and the capacity for insight
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T16:24:14.000Z
The other day I wrote about [the look of wonder on a child’s face](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wonder-of-a-child/), as he experienced a sensory reality that was completely new to him.
We were watching him play with a cleverly designed little plastic toy, and I said that we observed,
> *“…new neural pathways opening up somewhere inside his head and a look dawning on his happy little face…”*
This is what we could call **insight**.
Fresh new Thought-perception, pouring in through the senses. It’s data that life *already* holds—all this stuff is there, in the pure potential of life’s infinite energy field—but this was the first time it had entered into his consciousness and happened on his watch.
A totally new experience. Now logged in his Thought System as a memory.
[The wonder of a childThere’s more to life than meets the eye… and kids know it. 🚸The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wonder-of-a-child/)
So, anyway… ***“the pure potential of life’s infinite energy field”*** – what’s that all about?
As far as I can tell (you’ll have to gather your own evidence), we simply cannot ever know what life energy really is. It would be too much for us to handle.
That’s why we have five senses: they allow through a teeny-tiny little smidgen of life energy, in a way that prevents our brains from completely melting. Our senses are a screening tool.
(Other species of animal on this planet we share, have different sensory systems and have [evolved to let through different forms of data](https://www.gilespcroft.com/lessons-from-the-animal-kingdom/).)
I love how [Alan Watts put it](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/track/an-aperture?ref=gilespcroft.com):
> ***“Every one of us is*** [an aperture](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/track/an-aperture?ref=gilespcroft.com) ***through which the whole cosmos looks out.”***
And from time to time, we get shown a little bit more. Our aperture opens wide, all the Thought-System stuff falls away, the true majesty of this thing we call life shines through for an instant, and we have an insightful moment.
We see something—about reality; about the nature of things—and it changes us.
(It also changes how we see things going forwards, it changes our attitude, and it changes our habits & behaviours, like in this little story, below.)
[What this water bottle taught me about the process of changeYou don’t have to DO anything for your experience of life to change completely 😵The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/water-bottle-insight/)
This has been happening all your life. The fact that you can even walk and talk and understand these words is testament to this process.
Every good idea you’ve ever had.
Every spontaneously funny quip you’ve ever come up with.
Every change of heart or softening of position … it’s all **insight** in action.
It’s life coming through the aperture of you. Another layer of misunderstanding falling away.
(And boy, are there a lot of layers! 😆)
If you’re lucky, you may even have had some fairly profound insights about the nature of things in general; something about the inside-out nature of your experience; about the thought-feeling connection; about the untouchable Innate Health within you.
Something truly amazing.
And yet if you think back to the best, most life-changing insight you ever had, there’s something *even better* than that—waaaaaaaay better!—that’s baked in to the human operating system, and that you get for free.
💡
It’s the ***capacity** for insight.
The ability to see something completely new (to you) and for your life to change as a result.
To see that nothing is fixed. That nothing is ‘just the way it is’.
Change can happen at the drop of a hat (“It’s one thought away,” as Syd Banks used to say.)
What a gift!!!
🤩
Giles
p.s. Helping people change their lives through insight is what I’m all about. It’s what’s I do in my 1:1 work, so if you're ready to commit to change on a scale previously unimagined… [get in touch](https://gilespcroft.com/individuals?ref=gilespcroft.com).
p.p.s. If you like Alan Watts, [have a listen to this album](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/album/wattswave-v-the-web-of-life?ref=gilespcroft.com) – it will blow your mind 🤯
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[AperturesThis one makes the podium for my top 3 favourite metaphors for life! 📷The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/)
The aperture metaphor, explored.
### Go to sleep, mind 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-to-sleep-mind/
Last updated: 2026-04-23T17:46:47.000Z
Understanding the relationship between day-time thinking and night-time thinking is the secret to a good night's sleep.
***Premium Written & Audio Content**
🔖
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### The wonder of a child
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/wonder-of-a-child/
Last updated: 2026-07-25T08:19:47.000Z
We were at a mini-festival and the child won one of those expanding plastic ball-things.
After my mind had stopped complaining about how much plastic tat there was in the world, and after the kids had moved on to something else, us grown-ups started playing ‘catch’ with it. They’re pretty cool – a clever design that seems to visibly breathe, as it collapses and expands.
Then a random little toddler came past with his family and his eyes practically left his head. We gave it to him to play with (if I hadn’t been certain of nuclear meltdown from my daughter, I’d have let him keep it 😂) and it’s fair to say, he was absolutely *mesmerised.*
It seemed clear that he’d never experienced anything remotely like this in his entire short life and all of us—our gang; his gang—watched with big smiles on our faces as he practically *swam* in the experience; new neural pathways opening up somewhere inside his head and a look dawning on his happy little face that said, *“This is it. Life is going to be *brilliant!*”*
😮🤯
After he’d gone (casting looks over his shoulder the entire way), it was funny to observe that each of us, at some point or another, picked the ball up again and had a proper look at it.
The toddler had taught us (as children so often do) that this wasn’t just another bit of plastic to play with briefly and discard, before heading back to the bar, it was evidence of the wonder we can experience when we slow down and allow our senses to be completely *blown* by how awesome this thing we call life, is.
Something so little, so simple, and yet everything around me right now—the keyboard I’m typing on; the computer that produces the words; the distributed network that allows my ideas to be sent anywhere in the world at the touch of a button; language *itself*, FFS—is an absolute miracle to behold, and it’s so easy just to take it for granted.
And that’s before we get to the miracles of the *natural* world!
It may sometimes feel like life’s out to get you, but slow down for a moment and appreciate everything around you, with the wonder of a child.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Insight, and the capacity for insightPreviously unimagined change… it’s quite literally just “one thought away” 😵The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/)
This one follows on from that one 👆🏻
### False dichotomies
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/false-dichotomies/
Last updated: 2026-02-24T23:22:01.000Z
I was having a coaching conversation with someone and they had a business dilemma.
They were at a fork in the road and didn’t know whether to go down Path A or Path B.
🔀
Easy enough, you might think… except that it looked like Path A *excluded* B; and conversely Path B *excluded* A.
It had become an either/or scenario, but neither felt right and they were STUCK.
😫
Minds. Absolutely brilliant at creating false dichotomies.
I remember, back in the early days of my coaching practice, I got stucker than a stuck thing on whether I was going to work with individuals ***OR*** I was going to work with groups.
> 📦🗣️: *“Because you can’t do both, Giles, obviously”*
(said the Giles Ego Construct, for reasons known only to itself)
It seems *insane* to me now, that this was even a thing, but I can assure you, this particular thought-construct stopped me from taking any concerted action on my business for about 6 months!!!
😱
There’s *always* another way. It’s just that the mind can’t see it.
And the great news is that the mind doesn’t have to come up with it… because it’s insight that does all the heavy lifting.
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but INSIGHT.
So you can relax. Stop trying to figure it out.
When we get (or are helped) into that space of quiet, it’s amazing what fresh perspectives we get on a situation.
Mine eventually came to me in the shower.
(Ironically, it was the same thing people had been saying to me for the whole of that 6 months—do **both!!**—but until it popped into my head as my *own* idea, it was just advice that was clearly wrong 😆)
---
The person in the coaching session saw it with fresh eyes, after we’d been speaking for a while and we got a bit quiet; questioning some of their assumptions.
There’s a path, trust me!
Anything’s better than this:
XKCD: [False Dichotomy](https://xkcd.com/2592/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
😉
Giles
[Stepping stonesJust because you have a Big Dream, doesn’t mean you have to drop everything 🤩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/stepping-stones/)
More career-path either/or mind-nonsense 🙄
### Low mood, stay quiet
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/low-mood-stay-quiet/
Last updated: 2026-02-20T15:45:36.000Z
One of you put me on to Mary Oliver, the Pulitzer Prize-winning poet – thank you for that!
She had an uncanny knack for relating the human condition to the natural world.
This one is probably the best advice I’ve come across for how to deal with a low mood. It’s one to keep in your back pocket for bad days:
> **Today**
> *Today I’m flying low and I’m*
> *not saying a word.*
> *I’m letting all of the voodoos of ambition*
> *sleep.*
> *The world goes on as it must,*
> *the bees in the garden rumbling a little,*
> *the fish leaping, the gnats getting eaten.*
> *And so forth.*
> *But I’m taking the day off.*
> *Quiet as a feather.*
> *I hardly move though really I’m travelling*
> *a terrific distance.*
> *Stillness. One of doors*
> *into the temple.*
> **\~ Mary Oliver**
So if you’re in one of those fathomless pits where every idea is rejected; every notion a calamity… just rest.
Don’t try and fix it.
Be small; be quiet.
The clouds will pass and you’ll see the sun again.
💟
Giles
### “I want to make the decision now!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/make-the-decision-now/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T19:34:29.000Z
A couple of things happened in quick succession, which really highlighted for me how these minds of ours work, and how we can use that knowledge to our advantage.
The first was out on one of Dad’s Summer Holiday Cycling Adventures™ where I show my 11yo daughter just what she’s capable of—beyond what her mind might say—by taking her on ever-lengthening bike rides, while trying to keep it interesting and doing my best to avoid out and out mutiny.
(It’s a fine line! 😆)
The most recent of these (60km long – she’s doing well!) took us up over a local mountain, entirely on cycle paths, before dropping down into the next valley for ice cream and a mixture of canal towpaths and quiet back-roads home.
Trouble was, the weather. As we neared the top, it closed in and we started getting rained on. We had jackets and it wasn’t going to kill us or anything, but it was a bit unexpected and wasn’t pleasant riding at all. Especially as we started descending. (She runs hot, but my fingers had gone white with cold.)
> 👧🏻: “I don’t think I want to ride 60k today, Dad.”
> 👤: “Yeah, I hear you kiddo. Me neither, if it’s going to be like this all the way, but the forecast says this is just a blip. It’s bright sunshine in a bit, when we get down in the bottom.”
> 👧🏻: “Well I’m thinking we should maybe not do the full route. We can do it another day.”
This gets me thinking—Dad goes into Solution Mode—and also preys on my own insecurities about how the rest of the ride is likely to go with a deeply unhappy companion.
I’ve been here before.
I have one of those ‘unhappy companions’ in my head, most of the time.
> 👤: “Well, look, sweets. There’s a place in a few miles where we can make a decision. We can cut half the loop off by taking a short cut, back up to the top and then dropping right back home, instead of the canal. Let’s see how we feel when we get there.”
> 👧🏻: “Ok.”
Literally two minutes later…
> 👧🏻: “Is it time to make the decision yet, Dad? I want to go straight back home.”
> 👤 “No, huni. It’s not for a while yet. We get to a junction where we can go one way or the other. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you when it is. Let’s see how we feel *then -* when we get there. We’ll stop and have a proper chat. Assess the situation together.”
> 👧🏻: “**But I want to make the decision *now!* *”***
(We made the decision about 15 minutes later, and did the full route, once the options had been laid out clearly. Ice cream *was* eaten.)
---
The other scenario came after time out of the house that had been a bit challenging for her. Before she’d gone out we’d kind of agreed that we’d all sit and have lunch together, in front of our current favourite family viewing ([This Is Us](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5555260/?ref=gilespcroft.com), since you ask; tackles a whole load of adult themes in a really sensitive way).
But when she came back, she’d had enough and really wanted time to herself, having lunch on her own, with her (unintelligible to us) TV that she likes to relax with. (How madcap hi-energy YouTube videos manage to calm her thinking is beyond me… but it does!)
She was a bit conflicted though. She knew she *wanted* to hang out with us and watch brilliant drama while eating her favourite of Dad’s curries… but she just didn’t feel she that she *could*.
Right there and then, it just wasn’t gonna happen. Sorry folks.
To ‘Jobert’ ([the name she's given to her mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-names/)*)*, it looked like THERE IS A DECISION TO BE MADE - NOW!
But there really wasn’t. So I took it out of her hands for her:
> 👤: “It’s ok sweets. Go do your thing. Go on. You can eat curry on your own if you want to, it’s fine. We’ll figure something out. Forget about it. You go and chill with your TV.”
And off she went, apologetic, but relieved.
---
See, although it was mostly leftovers, I knew that I still had a bit of prep to do and it would be a while.
The decision about how food would be consumed didn’t *actually* need to be made there and then. And in the time it took me to chop and cook, perspectives would have a chance to change and she’d likely see things differently.
(Or even if she didn’t, at least it would be the *actual* time to decide!)
I didn’t have to try and reason with her mind about what we’d planned (in that mood, it would only have pushed back) or even explain what I saw happening, I just needed to keep my mouth shut and let nature take its course.
45 minutes later, when food was ready, I popped my head round the door:
> 👤: “Hiya love. I’m just dishing up. How d’you feel about family **This Is Us** and curry, now?”
> 👧🏻: “Sure!”
And we ate together, pausing every now and then to get into all sorts of fascinating discussions about love, and parenting, and kids, and grief, and friendship.
---
Faced with situations, minds—ignorant of the fact that *they’re* what’s creating the sense and *feel* of the situation in that moment—think that they can get stuff sorted there and then.
They fill in the blanks of the unknown, hazard at a prediction of the future, and make out like they know how to try and bend reality to their will ‘in order to’ keep themselves happy.
And it just doesn’t work like that!
Rather, moment to moment, our level of consciousness (or mood) dictates the experience we’ll have, by painting a picture made out of Thought, and presenting that to us, as ‘reality’.
This picture [changes all the time](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/), which is why one moment something might really bother us, and the next, we couldn’t care less.
If you want to use this knowledge to your advantage, then stop making mental decisions that don’t need to be made!
Trying to take action from within a low mood, *when none actually needs taking*, is classic mind activity and it’s dead easy to get sucked into. (In fact, I’d say some manifestation of this, in one form or another, makes up the bulk of my 1:1 practice.)
🛠️
So here’s what to do:
➤ SEE the mind at play, as it tries to predict and control your experience.
➤ ACKNOWLEDGE its contribution.
Then ignore it, crack on with your day, and see how you feel, *when the time is right.*
💟
Giles
### Related
[Mind namesThat time my daughter gave the whole family’s Ego Constructs their own names! 📦The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-names/)
She's funny, that girl! 🤣
[Thought, masquerading as presenceThe one about the Great Glass Consciousness Elevator ↕️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)
How the “picture changes all the time.”
### Mirage
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/mirage/
Last updated: 2026-03-07T11:02:40.000Z
It’s been hot enough recently to spot the odd mirage on the road.
You know – that optical illusion where, off in the distance, the road looks to be flooded with water, due to the heat haze. It’s all about the refractive index of light and the temperature of the tarmac, relative to the air. (I looked that up.)
It’s very convincing. It *really* looks like there’s a long stretch of water on the road, to negotiate. In fact, it’s indistinguishable from the real thing.
It’s the sort of scenario that, if you were hurtling down the motorway at 70mph, and you saw it fast approaching, you’d want to slow right down, to prevent [aquaplaning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquaplaning?ref=gilespcroft.com). Or you might even come off the motorway at a junction, to avoid the flooded road.
But we don’t, do we? We just carry on as normal, marvelling at the comprehensive nature of the illusion, enjoying the ride.
Why?
Because we know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that it’s not *true*. It’s just a trick of the light.
---
Besides the two-things-you-need-to-know-to-enjoy-the-cinema metaphor that I often trot out, this one comes a close second in terms of its ability to point to the nature of our experience, and how to have an easier time of it, in general.
Because a mirage on the road is real—you experience it, as it is—but it’s not true.
And it’s really important that you *know* it’s not true, so that you don’t slow down, or leave the motorway. If there’s even [a shadow of doubt](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-gravity-sometimes-didnt-work/), the mind will default to ‘risk’ avoidance, just in case.
Similarly, our *entire* experience of this thing we’ve labelled as ‘life’ or ‘reality’ is the same: it’s real—you experience it, as it is—but it’s not *true.*
It’s made of the Principle of Thought: 100% of it, without exception.
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a Thought-created perceptual reality
Nobody on planet earth can experience anything the exact same way you do. (10 people watching the same film, in the same room, at the same time, will have 10 different experiences.)
And if you *don’t* know it’s not true, well then you’ll innocently end up doing the behavioural equivalent of slowing down or coming off the motorway:
- Avoiding situations
- Avoiding feelings
- Reacting badly
- Turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms
- Developing mental health problems
…the full gamut of human misery, basically.
It *all* comes down to this. Every last bit of it.
(Which is why I write about it every day!)
And when you *do* know—when you’ve woken up to it, and it’s all been seen through as a wonderful [trick of the mind](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-magic-trick/)—well then, you get to just carry on as normal, marvelling at the comprehensive nature of the illusion, enjoying the ride.
✨
Giles
### Related
[You can’t not see an illusionThe all-important difference between waking up \*from\* the dream, and \*to\* the dream 💭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)
Just in case your mind’s all like, **“So I have to see through it, yeah?”*
### Getting clear
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/getting-clear/
Last updated: 2026-01-26T23:14:44.000Z
We were wandering through a remote bit of Belgian forest the other day, and happened upon this puddle, pictured above.
I know it doesn’t *look* much like a puddle, because I’m taking the shot from above and you can see the sky and the trees (and me!) reflected on the surface.
But have a closer look, especially towards the top right of the image, and you will see a staggering level of clarity in there. The finest dirt and dust particles have lain undisturbed for god knows how long, and the water itself has become almost invisible.
This is how our minds are, in their default state.
😊
Clarity is our natural state.
(As it is in nature, so it is with us.)
Now, if that water were to get disturbed (by e.g. a child jumping in it; something I forbade at the time) there would be no clarity. The dust—akin to our thinking, in this metaphor—would get all roiled up and the picture would become less clear.
We would be unable to see the big picture of that beautiful stony landscape, underneath the water.
Crucially, if we then wanted to re-establish the natural state of things (i.e. clarity) the *only* thing we could do would be to ***leave it alone.***
You can’t make the dust (i.e. your thinking) settle any quicker.
To do *anything* in order to attempt to make that dust settle in the water… is just going to make it swirl around for longer.
So next time someone jumps in *your* puddle and you catch the mind creating meaning, telling stories, analysing and judging, just remember the puddle.
Let that thinking settle on its own, and you’ll get yourself clear—with perspective, wisdom and solutions to problems—in no time at all.
💟
Giles
### Tune it out
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/tune-it-out/
Last updated: 2025-12-16T21:19:35.000Z
The (men’s) Tour de France finished yesterday and given that we’re currently residing in the French-speaking part of Belgium, the official post-race interviews—conducted in the lingua franca of English—are live-translated into French by the studio commentators.
It’s funny, because I’m used to hearing it the other way round at home: a rider gets asked a question in their native tongue, and the British commentator talks over their incomprehensible (to me) answer.
This way round, it’s the English answer I want to hear that’s being drowned out by an over-dub.
But I found it was relatively easy to just tune out the (much louder) translated answer and hone my attention in on the (much quieter) English one.
After a while I didn’t even notice the commentator’s narration.
And because [consciousness is bonkers](https://www.gilespcroft.com/consciousness-is-bonkers/), it’s like it didn’t even exist.
---
In our lives, so often we want to be more in tune with wisdom – with that quiet, intuitive voice that’s guiding us, guiding us, guiding us… but there’s this loud, yammering voice of our Thought System 📦 blatting on about this and that and what it means and what’s wrong with it and what’s going to happen and why it’s a bad idea and why we’re not good enough and what other people will think of us and on and on and on it goes.
I don’t think you can stop it from doing that (how would you even do that?!) but you can learn to tune it out and hone your attention in on the much quieter rhythms of life itself.
Who knows, after a while you might not even notice the commentator’s narration at all.
😎
Giles
p.s Thank goodness we’ll have the (often more thrilling) [Women’s Tour de France](https://www.letourfemmes.fr/en/?ref=gilespcroft.com) to see us through the next week, without getting withdrawal symptoms!
### Who cares?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/who-cares/
Last updated: 2026-07-18T19:26:42.000Z
As time goes by and my understanding of the principles behind the-way-we-experience-life-and-who-we-really-are continue to deepen, I find myself doing more and more of this favourite little emoji of mine:
🤷🏻♂️
*(If you’re running an ancient operating system on your phone or computer and it doesn’t display properly, the alt-text for that little rectangle above is ‘man shrugging’)*
And this metaphorical shrug might be accompanied with a mental, or actual, voicing of the phrase:
> *“Who cares?!”*
LOL.
Now, that might seem super-flippant to you—downright rude, even—but put your pitchfork down for a second and actually consider it as a legitimate question.
Who (or what) is it, exactly, that ‘cares’?
🤔
To help you in your deep spiritual exploration (it is Sunday, after all), I should let you know that the etymology of the word “care,” is *to wail, lament, call out or scream.*
Know of anything that does any of those things?
😉
Could it be, the only thing that ‘cares’ about how things turn out is that old friend of ours, the ego?
Hmmm, I wonder …
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### You don't have to stop planning
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-have-to-stop-planning/
Last updated: 2026-02-05T06:21:47.000Z
Of all the reasons people hold back on *properly* exploring the Innate Health understanding and *properly* relaxing back into the flow of life, I think it’s planning.
Boy, do we love to plan!
I love to plan too, I get it. The thing is, minds get pointed in the direction I’m pointing in, they hear things like this:
🔑
****Key Message**: Your felt experience of life is only ever happening NOW
…and they conclude,
> 📦🗣️ *“Oh, that means I can’t plan. I have to just live Now, because that’s all there is. Oh dear. That doesn’t sound like much fun. I don’t want to do that. Right… where’s the Unsubscribe button?”*
Yeah? Ring any bells?
(It's at the bottom of every email, for the record.)
## **The MECHANICS of ‘presence’**
This is just what minds do: Create a belief about how something is, then look for [evidence to support it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pattern-matching-relationships/), so it gets *properly* embedded 🙄
‘Presence’, for want of a better word, is something that the mind likes to think it’s got a pretty good handle on (I wrote about that here, in this previous [Very Good Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/presence-is-contextual/)™)
And the belief it so often holds, is that one, above:
🚫
****Presence = No Planning** 😞
Which of course is utter b\*llocks.
## **Some planning I do regularly**
So I plan all the time. And you will too. It’s impossible not to. It’s part of being human.
In fact it’s one of the big *benefits* of being human – having the ability to create imaginary futures, through the power of Thought. Got us to the moon, and stuff like that.
Take for instance, the big bike rides I do. They take *huge* amounts of planning, especially when it comes to the route. I spend an inordinate amount of time poring over maps: Ordnance Survey maps; the Strava ‘Heat map’ (which tells you how popular a route is); maps of what the wind will be doing on various parts of the route; and maps of everywhere I’ve already been.
### **Why do I plan like this?**
Is it to control the outcome?
Hmmm, maybe a little bit. (I don’t want to just end up on a dual carriageway, cos I haven’t planned my route to avoid them.)
But mostly, it’s because I love it. I love maps!! Maps are awesome!!
They stimulate my imagination—how will the territory compare with the image the map has created in my mind?—and I get to enjoy the experience twice: once in my head, and then in reality.
But here’s the crucial bit:
**I don’t expect any of it to come true.**
(Which is another way of saying I don’t attach to outcome.)
I can’t predict the future, any more than you can. I’m not in control of what happens. I know what I want, but I’m cool with whatever happens.
> ***“Man plans, God laughs.”***
You’ve heard that one before, yes?
Well, that, then.
Plan all you like. And then have fun showing up for any, and every outcome.
The thing to remember is that you are built to thrive in reality, which is the present moment.
You have an innate capacity to respond to *anything* life throws at you.
So whatever happens… you’re good to go!
😎
## **An example of plans going awry**
On that [best ever/ill-fated ride](https://www.gilespcroft.com/good-things-and-bad-things-go-together/) I did last weekend, I planned a stop in Brecon, where there’s a tap on the outside of a car dealership, that I can re-fill my water bottles at. It’s a life-saver. I use it every time I go past and I literally plan what, and how much, I will put in my bottles, off the back of that tap.
So on Sunday I rock up, having meted out my fluid intake precisely and timing the emptying of my bottle to perfection, only to find… the tap doesn’t bloody work any more!!!
😱
What do I do? Lose my sh\*t? Cry? Get really sad, or angry? Hammer on the door of the car dealership, demanding water? Jack it all in and go home? Bemoan the fact that the universe is conspiring against me and life is unfair? Read into the situation, as if it’s a bad omen for the rest of the ride?
No – that’s all either attaching to the outcome I had imagined (i.e.guaranteed water), or merely superstitious mind-activity mumbo-jumbo.
**I’m peak human: built to thrive in the present moment.**
So I immediately come up with another idea: buy some water in a shop.
Simples.
## **We’re talking Principles here**
This is a silly little example with an obvious resolution, but the human operating system only works in one way, so this same process is going on with every plan you make.
- You don’t get to control the outcome, however ‘well’ you plan. (Because really, planning’s just mind narration, too.)
- You’re peak human, designed to thrive in the present moment and be responsive to *anything* life throws at you.
- Whatever happens, you’re good to go.
😎
Giles
p.s. Disagree with this one? Let me know how I'm wrong, in the comments!
### Mentioned above
[Presence is contextualAllowing the mind to dictate what presence should feel like precludes us from experiencing it 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/presence-is-contextual/)
A Very Good Daily Reminder™
### What once felt like a chore
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-once-felt-like-a-chore/
Last updated: 2026-01-24T20:33:55.000Z
‘Time flies’ and my Chica finishes Year 6 and heads off to ‘big school’ in September.
She’ll be making her own way in, which means my twice-weekly walks to junior school with her will cease; something we’re both acutely aware of.
A grieving process has already begun – it’s out in the open.
> *“I’ll miss walking in with you, Dad,”* she says, holding my hand.
I concur, a bit of a lump in my throat.
No use denying the human experience here: it’s sad.
We’re sad.
We feel it: the love that sits beneath all sadness.
🥺
…with only two more to go 😭😭😭😭
These walks feel like a precious, ever-dwindling resource I’m clinging on to, like the last few sips of water on a hot day.
And yet this exact same thing, in the past, has seemed like a chore. Something I had to get through to the other side of, in order to carry on with my life.
And so there’s something there, isn’t there?
- A reminder that it’s not the situation we’re experiencing, but the thought-generated image *of* the situation. And that [changes all the time](https://www.gilespcroft.com/circumstances-moods-chickens-and-eggs/).
- A reminder that we don’t ‘use’ this understanding to go into denial. Just because [it’s an illusion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/), doesn’t mean we don’t throw ourselves into it whole-heartedly. (Quite the opposite – we know we’re safe to do so! Feel *all* the feels, fully!)
- And a reminder that there’s some truth to the saying, *“Live every day as though it were your last.”*
Because now I *know* that soon there won’t be any more of these walks, I kind of wish I’d *pretended*, back when it felt like a chore.
💝
Giles
### Good things and bad things go together
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/good-things-and-bad-things-go-together/
Last updated: 2026-01-05T21:06:19.000Z
I did a rather large bike ride at the weekend.
(To the jaw-dropping [Elan Valley and back](https://www.strava.com/activities/15102049505?ref=gilespcroft.com): 210km and 3,600m climbing in 28ºC heat, over 11 hours. I know, right?!)
The main reason I’m writing about it—the bit that will serve as a helpful reminder for you of how the human operating system works—I’ll get to in a minute, but firstly… I’m just really grateful that I can *do* these sorts of rides!
It’s a full 17 or 18 years (during my cycling journalist heydays) since I was capable of such feats—there’s been injury and upset and pretty much a decade of that time not cycling at all—so I don’t take *any* of this stuff for granted.
And during those times of lying fallow, ‘I’—in reality the Giles Ego Construct 📦— could not foresee, nor imagine, nor allow itself to even *consider* that such rides would be possible again.
But here we are!
I’m constantly amazed at the human body and I love that it’s been seemingly important enough to me, to keep on trying to reach these heights again. Go me and my unconscious programming! 😆
(Ok, so that bit was about the human operating system too, sorry. I can’t help myself.)
## Good times
Anyway, on a mahoosive ride like that, there are always going to be highs and lows. (I think the fact they’re so extreme, and so condensed into such a neat little package, is one of the allures it holds for me.)
Here’s a high, the likes of which I hope to remember for many years to come:
East side of Penygarreg Reservoir in the Elan Valley. A bench appeared, as if by magic | Photos by Giles
I’d made some great planning decisions, set off super-early, reached my destination in really good time, felt sprightly on the climbs, had tried a gravel track alongside the reservoir I’d not done before, found an unexpected picnic bench and sat there in the shade, eating a delicious home-made sandwich I’d knocked together at 04:45, admiring the view in blissful solitude.
> *“Life literally could not get *any* better than this,”* I said out loud to nobody, and I truly meant it.
This is perfection, to a Giles.
I even took a selfie, to remember it by.
It was almost as if I knew it couldn’t last.
## Bad times
In counterpoint, here are a couple of lows, neither of which come *close* to depicting the depths of despair I reached later that afternoon, as I crept up one stupidly steep climb after another, my head boiling, my legs screaming:
Left: View from the top of Rhogo climb, already completely broken. With **much* more hellish climbing to come | Photos by Giles
That view? Looks spectacular, doesn’t it? Mid-Wales at its best. Look at the road, snaking in the foreground; the series of hills marching off into the distance. One to really savour, surely?
No. I’d had the shock of my life getting up to that summit. All the poring-over-maps and meticulous route-planning had suddenly unravelled as realisation dawned that the [territory itself](https://www.gilespcroft.com/update-your-map-version/) (which looked so benign on paper) on the way home was absolutely *savage*. Hard, hard roads with the sorts of gradients I go out of my way to avoid.
(In fact, Climb 14 of 18, displayed here on my Garmin—which concluded with half a mile of unbroken 15% wall—I had quite deliberately chosen in order to give a wide berth to something that looked much *worse* on paper!!)
And all into a headwind, that I hadn’t really noticed was a tailwind on the way out, explaining why I'd made such good time and it had all seemed so easy.
That view was a visible laying out of the many, many obstacles I faced, before home. As I stood there at the top, dripping sweat and shaking as I ferreted around in pockets for sustenance, the thought of having to traverse it all was pretty daunting… and the reality turned out to be *much* worse. 😆
It was horrible. I swore a lot. I weaved from one side of the road to the other on many a climb and sitting here, typing this, I still don’t know how I made it back.
(But I did. Even though plans fell apart and my worst fears were exceeded. We are [innately resilient](https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/)!)
## What the mind wants…
And what did this means for my ‘perfect’ memory, from earlier in the day, you may ask?
Because it’s something I’ve been asking ever since, as both [recency bias](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recency%5Fbias?ref=gilespcroft.com) and [negativity bias](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negativity%5Fbias?ref=gilespcroft.com) threaten to push that happy little moment down (or even out of) the list; each recalling of it being accompanied by a *“Yeah, but…”* from the mind.
Can it not exist on its own please, separate from the horrors that followed?
That moment was so… perfect… it shouldn’t be sullied in any way!
Could I have done something differently in my planning? Chosen an easier route back?
🤔
And this is it, isn’t it? The mind in action.
It’s a coulda’-woulda’-shoulda’ machine! Always making out there was a gold standard, pristine experience to be had, ‘if only’…
- I’d made better choices
- I’d been a bit more sensible when planning
- it hadn’t been quite so hot
- I’d set off even earlier
- I’d chosen a route that went *out* into the wind, and had it behind me on the way home (like I usually do)
…and so on, and so on.
But you know what? None of those would have been right either. Because the mind is fickle and I’d have:
- bailed on my brilliant Epic Elan Valley Ride idea
- taken the easy option, not really pushing myself like I wanted to
- bored myself senseless on flat roads
…or some other such nonsense.
Nope. This life malarkey consists of rough *and* smooth; Yin *and* Yang; light *and* dark. We live in a world of form, and every concept has its opposite to be experienced – this is what they mean by ‘duality’.
You don’t get one without the other, however hard the mind strives for only-good.
And I'll tell you what – I’m grateful for *both*, because life’d be pretty dull, without the contrast.
Pen y Fan, from Brecon, with and without early morning, low-light contrast | Photo & edits by Giles
☯️
Giles
### The never-ending To Do list
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-never-ending-to-do-list/
Last updated: 2025-12-12T21:48:15.000Z
There’s a chapter of Richard Carlson’s best-selling book [*Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff*](https://amzn.to/46rTScI?ref=gilespcroft.com) entitled “*Remind Yourself that When You Die, Your ‘In Basket’ Won’t Be Empty.”*
(Catchy, huh?!)
It’s something I fail to remind myself of, on a daily basis.
🤦🏻♂️
Take, for instance, today’s To Do list. In the run up to going away for a couple of weeks (and myriad end-of-term parental shenanigans) the amount of things I want to accomplish, when compared with the amount of time and energy I have, are seriously mismatched.
(Reality is rubbing up against the Giles Ego Construct 📦 and let me tell you, there is friction, people!)
What got *written* on a bit of paper this morning was easily more than could reasonably be accomplished (or so it seemed) and I set about my day with a sort of grim determination, almost resolved to not enjoying myself at all, and to be stressed until I’d crossed as much off as possible.
I remember thinking, *“Jeez, if I get even *half* of that stuff done, I’ll be over the moon!”*
The day didn’t go *so* badly, and just now I looked at the list and found that I’ve crossed off more like three-quarters of it, and *all* the big jobs.
😯
Do I feel over the moon?
Hmmm, the jury’s out on that one…
But I’m more than aware of what the G.E.C. is whispering in my ear:
> 😈 📦: *If you cross them *all* off, you’ll feel better.*
Nope.
It’s a never-ending To Do list, the one that the mind produces.
It’s a Sisyphean task that will *never* complete.
It’s *“*[*I’ll be happy when…*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)*”* in its sneakiest of guises.
✋
The mind will **never* be satisfied.
As Richard concludes, in that nattily-titled chapter:
> *“I find that if I remind myself (frequently) that the purpose of life *isn’t* to get it all done, but to enjoy each step along the way and live a life filled with love, it’s far easier for me to control my obsession with completing my list of things to do.”*
To hell with it… I’m off to watch some TV.
😁
Giles
### Your next read
[I’ll be happy when…Four words that ruin lives… and yet we don’t even notice 😩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)
When goal-chasing goes bad.
### What this water bottle taught me about the process of change
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/water-bottle-insight/
Last updated: 2026-08-31T23:31:08.000Z
Years ago I bought a couple of water bottles for our camper van: one for the driver side door and one for the passenger side. Driving is thirsty work.
As well as them being BPA-free, there was one major stipulation me & Mrs Croft agreed on – you had to be able to get a drink out of them one-handed. Can’t be trying to unscrew a lid or something, while driving.
🙈😱💥
Anyway, I found what looked to be the *almost* perfect solution. They were dirt cheap and I bought them locally, in a camping shop. They had a little button that you pressed, that makes the lid flip up. You can see it in the photo. POP! it goes.
I say “almost” perfect, because there was just one problem with them: it was too easy for the button to get pressed unintentionally and flip the lid open. So it limited their usage a bit – you couldn’t put them in a bag or anything, if you wanted to go for a wander away from the van, otherwise you’d run the risk of being greeted by a pool of water in the bottom, rather than a drink.
But even something as simple as getting them from the house to the van was a bit fraught – I always seem to be juggling about 20 things, when I’m re-stocking the van. I’d have things stuffed under my arms, in my hands, trying to unlock doors and POP! goes the button and water starts sloshing everywhere.
Being accepting of reality however, I learned to live with this. Adjusted my behaviour. Always transported them from A to B separately. Never used them for any other purpose than living-in-van-door. I asked one job of them and they did it well.
For years.
That was my bottle-reality-experience. It went *totally* unquestioned.
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us.
Until the other day, when I noticed what I’m sure you’ve already noticed for yourself, cos you’re more observant than me.
It’s got a lock, hasn’t it?
😳😲🤯
Look again at the little button. It slides upwards and that locks it. You can’t POP! it open when it’s slid into the “up” position, as it is in this image.
I think I must have done it by accident, because upon arriving home I just sat there in the van on the drive, looking at it, with a stupid expression on my face.
> *“Huh. Who knew?”*
(Everybody else who bought this bottle, Giles, they all knew 🤦🏻♂️)
Suddenly my bottle-reality-experience changed *completely*. And my subsequent behaviours changed.
Now I can just chuck the bottles around with wild abandon. I can put them in a backpack if I want to go for a wander. I can hydrate in places other than directly next to the van door. Life with the bottles suddenly got much bigger, with more possibility.
And this happened without any effort, or willpower.
A little misunderstanding about how-things-work fell away, and I now inhabit a new reality; one more closely aligned with the natural order of things.
I held an invisible (to me!) false belief, it got brought out into the open and life got better.
It’s brilliant.
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but INSIGHT.
## It's not just water bottles
Now, consider this.
Every bit of struggle in your life comes from an invisible (to you!) false belief, that’s keeping you from your own brilliance.
You don’t need to “learn to accept” things how they are; you don’t need to forcibly *try* and adjust your behaviour; you don’t need to live in a limited version of your life.
You just need someone to help you bring some of those invisible, false beliefs out into the open, and—without effort, or willpower—life will get much bigger, with more possibility.
That’s just how it works.
As I discovered, with a simple water bottle.
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Insight, and the capacity for insightPreviously unimagined change… it’s quite literally just “one thought away” 😵The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/)
### Oh, what's the point?!
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/oh-whats-the-point/
Last updated: 2026-03-06T10:38:37.000Z
I’m two weeks in to the [RECONNECT course](https://www.gilespcroft.com/reconnect/) with a wonderful bunch of intrepid explorers and things are starting to be seen differently.
Minds don’t necessarily *like* it, but minds have got very little to do with what we’re reconnecting to, so that’s maybe not all that surprising.
😉
Minds are also doing that very natural thing where they hop, skip and jump into the future, trying to figure out what all this baffling nonsense that Giles is throwing at them means for real life situations.
(Which is where change occurs.)
Take for instance one participant, who has a decision to make. It’s a time-sensitive, clear-cut decision that involves their values and other people’s opinions and they don’t know what to do.
(Like most decisions, eh?)
And as part of the course, and the plethora of additional materials I’ve shared with the participants, their mind has heard that we’re not in control of what thoughts arise, we don’t get to choose (for who is this ‘chooser’ anyway, but for more thought arising, being believed?) and essentially we’re being lived by life, witness to it all, but not in control.
Which begs the question, *Oh what’s the point?!?!*
😆
I laugh, because I went through this—I remember throwing all my toys out of the pram and getting really pissed off with a renowned teacher I was having a coaching session with—and pretty much every client and every group I work with goes through this same reaction.
The struggle is real!
A mind hears that the crown it wears—the one it feels it’s earned by being in charge of things around here for all your life—is *actually* made of the same stuff as fairly dust and unicorn farts (i.e. imagination) and very understandably it has a bit of a tantrum.
And this can show up in all sorts of ways. Anger (me), confusion, despair, apathy, fear, avoidance, denial…
…and ultimately, a freedom of sorts.
---
I can’t remember which book of his it’s in, but Michael Neill describes this acknowledgment as getting up the courage to let go of the reins… and then noticing that the reins we’ve just let go of were only ever attached to a rocking horse, that’s on the back of a boat, sailing happily down a river.
Because when we see that we never were in control in the first place, it brings a real lightness to everything. It’s not that decisions don’t get made—the mind body organism will continue to do what makes sense, whatever the mind has to say about that.
No, we just that we get *distance* from the voice that:
- is trying to secure its very existence by continuing to insist that it’s doing all this
- says that what happens affects how *it* will feel in the future
- believes that there are consequences to its standing in the pecking order
- insists that what’s going on must *also* be considered in the context of what others think of it…
…and with all that going on, it’s no wonder we get stuck!!
There’s something deeper within us, that removes the need to keep turning our attention to this blathering mind for ‘advice’; something that is more than aware of our place in the whole, our relationships with others, and the unique path we’re on.
You can trust that ‘something deeper within you’ to do what makes sense, when the time comes.
And… you can absolutely *guarantee* that the mind will observe any actions taken, immediately label this as ‘a decision’ and subsequently have a lot to say about it all, pulling your emotions hither and thither with it, as it does so!
The more you can see this—by slowing down, examining your own experience, getting your own evidence—the fewer ‘decisions’ you will have to make.
Ahhh, there’s that ‘freedom of sorts’ again.
💖
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/IkKBz?ref=gilespcroft.com)
In this profoundly insightful ****1h28 Decision-Making Video Masterclass**, we go beyond conventional ‘tips for smarter decisions’, to explore the mechanics of choice itself:
• How **do* we ‘decide for the best’?
• Best for whom?
• How do things change when we're aligned with our inner resources… and when the illusion of control evaporates?
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/IkKBz?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Can't make up your mind
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/cant-make-up-your-mind/
Last updated: 2026-04-03T11:04:58.000Z
We’ve recently been looking at [decision-making](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/decision-making/), and last week I introduced the notion that we have two distinct modes of thinking at our disposal, when faced with choices:
1. Processing mode 🤖
2. Free-flowing mode 🌊
…and in last week’s video (*‘*[When to use Processing Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSeyqGlXsGo&ref=gilespcroft.com)*’)* we looked at the first of those.
So in [this week’s short video clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQB6fDeYIlg&ref=gilespcroft.com), let’s look at the second!
Excerpt taken from my [Decision-Making Video Masterclass](https://gilespcroft.link/decisions/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
There's a hidden benefit here, isn't there? Did you spot it? \[Answer below\*\]
💟
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/IkKBz?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The ****Decision-Making Video Masterclass** is a profoundly insightful 1½ hour deep dive, where we go beyond conventional ‘tips for smarter decisions’, to explore the mechanics of choice itself: How **do* we ‘decide for the best’? Best for whom? And how do we align ourselves with our innate, inner resources?
If you're stuck making a big decision, or really struggle with decisions in general, this one's for you.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/IkKBz?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Related
[Right tool for the jobMaking decisions: when to use ‘Processing mode’ 🤖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/right-tool-for-the-job/)
\*the hidden benefit: That’s right, it means you actually get to use *both!* 🥳
### When learning removes thinking
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-learning-removes-thinking/
Last updated: 2025-12-03T07:43:15.000Z
Here’s another example of “[Think less, live more](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)” that came up in a coaching conversation this morning.
Back in the old days, when Giles was a doctor in a hospital (another life! 😮) most people during their training would rotate through A&E (Accident & Emergency, or E.R. if you’re on the other side of the pond).
*\[Things may be very different now… you’re just going to have to accept that this story is coming to you from the late 1900’s.\]*
👴🏻😆
---
It was scary to start. There were sometimes really sick people who would die pretty sharp-ish, without intervention, and it was our job (the team) to stop that from happening.
As relative newbies, us juniors’d had a bunch of training, learning things from textbooks and lectures, but when it came to the crunch, it was terrifying. I never felt like I knew what I was doing, always felt like I was in the way, and had a ***lot*** of thinking about it all, before, during and after these events.
But there were courses that we got sent on, to help with this universal experience: ALS (Advanced Life Support) and ATLS (Advanced Trauma Life Support).
(I love that they both have “advanced” in the title; acknowledging that your bog standard medical training just ain’t gonna cut the mustard here!)
Anyway, you’re encouraged to do these courses, and I dutifully attended both (out of my own pocket, natch – this is the NHS we’re talking about) and as a result I felt better, and performed much better during the life-threatening medical events that I was a part of.
Why?
*“Because you learned a whole load of new stuff, Giles, obviously – you dummy!”* I hear you cry.
But I don’t think that was it at all.
Here's what I think was going on, and how it's going to help you find solutions to all the seemingly complex problems you face in your life…
🧐💭😲
It’s a long time ago now, but I can still remember coming away from both of those courses thinking,
> “*Well, that was a lot of money to pay for something that didn’t really teach me anything I didn’t already know.”* 🤨
It’s not that they were of no value—I’ve just said that they helped me to feel and perform much better—it’s just that there was very little *new* stuff, in the way of facts.
What they *did* do brilliantly, and the whole reason people got sent on them, is they **organised that information in a way that was less complicated** than all the theory we’d learned, and bridged the gap between textbook and real life scenario.
In fact, they helped us to really appreciate the simplicity and structure to these events (certainly as I remember them, anyway). They introduced an easy flow to these often complex medical scenarios, in a way that I now believe was ultimately designed to help everybody…
👊
***“Think less, and live more.”**
Which is fascinating, isn’t it? Because the ‘live more’ part of the equation is big and encompasses a LOT… (everything?) … and also includes stuff like treating patients effectively, and better performance.
You can see I’m really leaning into the whole “think less, live more” thing at the moment – I’m seeing just how practical and helpful it is as litmus test, in *any* given situation.
A valuable guiding light for you!
🔆
Giles
### Your next read
[Work with the mind, not against itThe only toolkit you’ll ever need 🧰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)
You've read it, haven't you? Tell me you've read this one.
### Forgiving past transgressions
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/forgiving-past-transgressions/
Last updated: 2025-12-09T15:14:37.000Z
The other day I wrote about how [I used to get mad with myself](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-sometimes-get-mad-with-your-self/) when I forgot what I’d gone upstairs for, and these days I don’t.
You see, it’s just a mind, doing what minds do, forgetting what minds forget. It’s doing its best, but in these situations any anger I feel is essentially the mind having an argument with *itself*, and I tend not to get involved in all that any more.
It’s creating a story that it doesn’t like, and getting shook up as a result.
(Minds! What are they like?! 🤷🏻♂️)
Then someone asked me a question about how to forgive stuff that they’d done in the past, and it got me thinking.
**Isn’t it the exact same thing?** 🧐
I mean, it *looks* much bigger, doesn’t it? Forgetting to bring that pair of socks downstairs vs. having done something that really hurt someone?
How can they be the same?!
But what if—when we did that thing—the mind was doing its best? Our behaviours stem from thoughts & feelings and we’ve established that you don’t get to choose any of those, so… erm, you couldn’t have done any different?? 😬
(Sorry to break it to you.)
And here, now, in this moment (which is all you get, remember?) any guilt we feel is just a mind, doing what minds do, judging how minds judge.
It’s creating a story that it doesn’t like, having an argument with itself and getting shook up a result.
**How about you stop getting involved in all that?**
This is pretty much how I responded to the question, and after some reflection, this came back, along with a fair bit of relief:
🤣
**“Laughing at how convoluted the old ‘inner AI’ has been making it all!”*
Minds! What are they like?! 🤷🏻♂️
I’m reminded of that wonderful [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) quote:
[](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“Everyone is doing the best they can, given the thinking they have that looks real to them.”*
You included.
Have a restful day… not getting involved.
💟
Giles
### Previously…
[Do you sometimes get mad with your self?Flashes of self-critical anger and disappointment are such helpful little pointers to something deeper 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-sometimes-get-mad-with-your-self/)
### Listening for joy
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/listening-for-joy/
Last updated: 2026-01-03T01:44:52.000Z
Right now, what’s filling up my consciousness is the TV series [Andor](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt9253284/?ref=gilespcroft.com).
The whole thing finished a few weeks ago, but we’re a bit slow when it comes to sitting down and watching stuff, so we only just finished it the other night.
I’ve started watching it again, immediately.
It’s that good.
It’s *Star Wars*, but it’s not really. There are no lightsabers, no Jedis, no weird cute animals and no annoying characters. Even the droid count is extremely low, and very well done. The acting, the dialogue, the sets, the whole damn thing… is absolutely spot on. Grown up TV.
Wikipedia, rather clunkily, describes it as a ‘science fiction political spy thriller drama’ (LOL) and you don’t need to know a damn thing, or even care one iota about *Star Wars* to sink yourself into its languorous, detail-rich story-telling, its peerless character-building and its buttock-clenching dramatic tension.
(Be warned however, you probably *will* feel compelled to at least watch *Rogue One* afterwards… and then quite possibly the first *Star Wars* instalment—*A New Hope*—after that, because they both directly continue the story. But you could stop there!)
Anyway, the writing is spectacular. There are many, many rousing, memorable speeches for the ages, about the nature of fascism and the inevitability of its collapse; about the terrible sacrifices that must be made for the greater good; about the insidious nature of propaganda and lies…
(Disclaimer: It *is* set in a galaxy far, far away, honest 😉)
And there’s this one speech, that kind of passed me by on first viewing, but really hit home for me, second time around. It’s a wedding speech, from the father of the bride, passing on a morsel of wisdom to the young betrothed. I’ve reproduced part of it for you, below.
I want you to read it with this flip chart in mind:
> *Pain will find you.*
> *Trouble and disagreement*
> *Will arrive without summons.*
> *There’s no choice in this;*
> *There’s no effort required.*
> *You simply stand still*
> *And the Galaxy*
> *Will deliver a daily basket*
> *Of fresh anxieties to your door,*
> *Without fail.*
> *My hope is that you learn*
> *To reach past*
> *This constant cloud of sadness.*
> *Pleasure, gaiety, amusement.*
> *These are the hidden things.*
> *The music buried beneath*
> *All that noise.*
> *Joy. JOY! Joy.*
> *But joy has no wind at its back*
> *Joy will not announce its arrival*
> *You need to listen for it.*
---
It reminds me of another piece of deeply insightful writing. From Hafiz, the 14th Century Sufi poet:
> *O listen*
> *Listen more carefully*
> *To what is inside of you, right now*
> *There is an astonishing vastness*
> *Of movement and Life*
> *Emanating sound and light*
> *From my folded hands.*
> *And my even quieter*
> *Simple Being*
> *And heart.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
Excerpt from the poem "Out Of The Mouths Of A Thousand Birds" from **A Year with Hafiz*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2011\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
---
Yesterday I encouraged you all to notice that *“*[*This is it!*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-it/)*”* … and I don’t see how this is *any* different, really.
💖
Giles
### This is it
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-it/
Last updated: 2026-01-03T01:09:12.000Z
Last week, for four days I was on my bike, enjoying an annual get together with my two best buddies from Uni. These days, all three of us live in places that are roughly a day’s cycle ride apart, so we roll between the homes, together.
We had the inaugural event last year and enjoyed it so much, we’ve committed to doing it every year. It’s been in the diary for ages, we’d all been really looking forward to it, it takes a fair bit of planning to execute, we all had things we’d learned from last year and the amount of group chat slowly escalated, as the day grew closer. Weather, equipment, food, timings… it all had to be discussed.
And then we were there, doing the thing we’d planned! Here we are – look at those happy faces
😃
When you’re outdoors, engaged in lengthy physical pursuits, it’s quite easy to observe the mind, and you may not be all that surprised to learn that mine didn’t really behave any differently from how it does when I’m sat at my desk. So it:
1. tried to predict the future, and
2. guessed how I’d feel in each of these imaginary scenarios.
All of it pure fiction. The product of a Giles Ego Construct 📦
And I suppose what was different about being outdoors, on two wheels, with my homies, was that whenever that process was going on, it was pulling me away from the experience of … well, being outdoors, on two wheels with my homies.
🤷🏻♂️
The very thing I’d come for!
The *tiniest* selection for you:
- When’s the next hill?
- Will we stay together?
- Will this wind slow us down?
- What if we overlap wheels?
- What time are we likely to arrive at our destination?
- What are we going to be eating?
- I can imagine how good that first hamstring stretch is going to be.
- What’s it going to be like watching the Giro d’Italia on telly, later?
- Ooh, look at that – that would make a really good photo!
- The forecast for tomorrow is worse than today – how will we manage that?
- There’s that really nice bit of road coming up, that I remember from last time.
- What’s it going to be like when it’s my turn on the front, in the wind, again?
- I’m looking forward to the next coffee stop, they had that really nice cake there last time.
- Road’s rough here, I wonder how easy it would be to get these tyres off, if I puncture.
On and on and on and on and on and on and on it goes—it never stops!—and it’s really subtle. In fact it’s so subtle, it’s almost invisible.
It forms the fabric of our lives and we take it for granted and it *looks* like it’s actually life itself.
When really, all it’s doing is *distracting* us from life.
---
So every now and again, when it went quiet and each of us was potentially pondering something *other* than the reality of right here, right now (I know I certainly was), I’d bug the hell out of my companions by yelling,
> ***“THIS IS IT, GUYS!!!”***
(Yup, it really is fun spending time with Giles. He’s not annoying in the slightest 😆)
But it was true.
Here we are, doing the thing we’ve been planning for nigh on 11 months.
**This is *IT.***
None of us get to actually *experience* those futures that that the mind is busy creating, here and now; the picture it’s painting of The Bike Tour and what it’s going to be like. No, because:
**This *IS* it.**
And when we’re battling a ferocious sidewind, atop an exposed hillside, a fine rain coming at us horizontally, cold and wet and we’re all looking forward to being back down in the valley, riding under the blanket of that blue sky we can see ahead, but no…
***THIS* is it.**
---
If we’re not careful, we can live the whole of our lives with our attention on something else.
So whatever you’re up to right now… today… this weekend… next week… this year… for the rest of your life…
*Whatever* is going on:
## **THIS IS IT.**
💟
Giles
### Related
[This is what we doA very simple cartoon that sums up the entire human experience… when we let the mind run riot 🐄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-what-we-do/)
You see that cow? That's you, that is.
### Work with the mind, not against it
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/
Last updated: 2026-05-14T19:10:27.000Z
Everything I write, everything I say, everything I do, everything I point you to is very simply designed to help you…
> **Think less, and live more.**
Because there’s an innate wisdom built into life that is living us. It’s already happening and it’s already all taken care of.
And the more we can get out of the way of that, the easier this brief time we have crawling around on the face of this ball of rock, hurtling through the infinite void of empty space, becomes.
🪨✨
In a very real, very practical way, your moment to moment experience is determined not by what’s going on, but by your state of mind – essentially how freaked out your mind is *about* what’s going on.
That’s what you get.
(That’s *all* you get!)
Which means that’s all you’re ever up against.
Not what’s going on. But the picture the mind *creates* of what’s going on (and then what it has to *say* about that picture that it’s created.)
Simmer down, ignore the arguing mind for a moment and ***SEE*** this.
👀
Because this means you can work *with* the limitations of the mind, instead of blindly fighting on, trying to do battle *against* it.
So for instance, minds think that they have to do everything.
(Preferably all at once.)
And they think that you’re not going to be ok until all those things have been done.
(Because they genuinely don’t know that [you're already ok](https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-ok-whatever/).)
They’re always going to think that. It’s normal! They’re always going to freak out when they dwell on the long list of things that need doing.
It doesn’t signify that there’s anything wrong with you. It signifies that you’re human.
So don’t fight it, or even get pissed off with it. I mean, what’s the point? It’s just a mind, doing what minds do. Big deal!
**Work with it**.
Do what makes sense to help you to **think less** and to **live more**, right there in that moment.
There are no rules or if-this-then-that algorithms that can be applied, sorry.
(The mind wishes there were, because that its currency. And it sure does keep the self-help industry alive 😆)
So be in tune with what you need. Check in with yourself. It'll be different each time:
- Sometimes it will make sense to drop that thinking like a hot potato, and go about your business. (The very definition of ‘think less, live more’.)
- Sometimes it will make sense to do one thing from the list, to put it at ease
- Sometimes it will make sense to procrastinate – distraction being a fairly effective solution, when all’s said and done
- Sometimes it will make sense to just sit there and feel completely overwhelmed, focusing on the feeling, [allowing labels to fall away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/sticky-labels/), until it passes.
- Sometimes it will make sense to reach out for help; get a few things off your chest
- Sometimes it will make sense to sit and sob until you feel better.
It could be any number of things!
All are ok. None are a problem.
With ‘think less, live more’ as your guide, you can’t go wrong.
## Of note…
Some things that fall into the the ‘think more, live less’ camp:
- Make a big deal of the fact it’s happening
- Wish that things were different
- Beat yourself up because ‘what makes sense’ isn’t any good
- Start planning how you’re going to avoid this happening in the future (classic! 😆)
- Start replaying the same tired old story as to how this always happens
- Reflect on how unfair/miserable life is
- Spend time identifying whose fault this awful situation is
- Imagine you had made a different decision a while back, and how things would have turned out if you had.
I’m not big on offering advice, but I’m going to gently suggest you *don’t* pay attention to the mind when it tries to do any of those!!
😂
Seriously, why on earth would you do that?!?!
Four words:
1. Think
2. Less
3. Live
4. More.
That’s it. That’s your lot. There’s your toolkit.
Each time you find yourself ‘up against it’ (in any way at all), just ask yourself:
> *“What do I need to do? What’s going to put this restless mind of mine at ease, so I can go on with living my life?“*
Then go do that.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[It’s not what happens, it’s how you feel about it.The one simple distinction that, when truly seen, will change your life forever 🤩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-happens-how-you-feel/)
More… to help you really get this in your bones.
### Using thought to solve thought
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/using-thought-to-solve-thought/
Last updated: 2026-03-11T16:19:01.000Z
There’s a big bottle of shower gel in the cubicle, with a pump-action dispenser lid that’s screwed on. (Economy, see?)
It’s sat there, on the side, while I’m showering.
And I don’t think the lid fits *perfectly*—not airtight, at least—because during the course of a shower, bubbles start to form, around the base of the screw top. Happens every time I’m in there.
It’s quite pretty, I suppose—as the temperature rises, the soapy bubbles slowly grow in size, and reflect all sorts of rainbow colours in the light—but then the temptation to wash them away is quite strong too.
Escaping shower gel’s just going to make it super-slippy for the next person who picks it up, surely?
But a funny thing happens when I try.
As soon as I get the bottle under the shower jet, the bubbles get washed off, and then even more appear, really quickly!!
It’s actually impossible to get rid of them.
Of course it’s just basic physics: I’m heating up the air inside the bottle even more with the shower water; the air’s expanding and hey presto – more bubbles.
---
Naturally I got to pondering…
Isn’t this what happens with thought?
Suffering of one description or another comes into awareness (like a bubble)… the mind spots this, suspects that thought might be the culprit (it’s all you ever experience, so chances are it’s right 😉)… and then it tries to ‘wash it away’ somehow.
But its reaction—reasoning, pushing it away, problem-solving, despair maybe—is really just heating the system up even more; using thought to solve thought… so even more thought bubbles appear, really quickly.
It’s actually impossible to get rid of them.
---
I’ve learned—through trial and error (getting my own evidence)—that I *can’t* wash the bubbles away and the harder I try, the more of them there are.
So I’ve also learned to let them be. They’re not doing any harm, really. And the whole phenomenon is fascinating. It makes me chuckle.
I know that if I don’t get involved at all, the temperature will eventually fall (once I’ve left) and the bubbles will go.
So how about you just don’t get involved at all, next time you catch yourself thinking up bubbles?
💟
Giles
### Related
[Trying is lying“Do or do not. There is no try.” 🧘🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/)
You can't think your way out of a thinking problem.
### Right tool for the job
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/right-tool-for-the-job/
Last updated: 2026-04-03T11:06:42.000Z
In [yesterday’s Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-not-all-bad-in-there/) I suggested that the outputs of the mind aren’t all bad.
That’s because we have two distinct modes of thinking:
- **Processing** mode 🤖
- **Free-flowing** mode 🌊
And it’s only when we confuse the two, or use the wrong one for the wrong job, that we get into difficulty.
This is never more evident than when it comes to **Decision-making**.
As I point out in this week’s [short video clip](https://youtu.be/jSeyqGlXsGo?ref=gilespcroft.com):
Excerpt taken from my [Decision-Making Video Masterclass](https://gilespcroft.link/decisions/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Choice quote:
> *“If I don't immediately know what to do about a difficult work situation, I might process the problem over and over again in my mind with no insight into the situation, to the detriment of other work, relationships, and my sleep.”*
So often in life, if we (i.e. the H.E.C. or Human Ego Construct 📦) get out of the way and let life do its thing, we find answers coming to us with relative ease, to even the most difficult of problems.
And seeing when NOT to use Processing Mode is *way* more than half the battle!
💟
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/IkKBz?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The ****Decision-Making Video Masterclass** is a profoundly insightful 1½ hour deep dive, where we go beyond conventional ‘tips for smarter decisions’, to explore the mechanics of choice itself: How **do* we ‘decide for the best’? Best for whom? And how do we align ourselves with our innate, inner resources?
If you're stuck making a big decision, or really struggle with decisions in general, this one's for you.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/IkKBz?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Related
[Can’t make up your mindMaking decisions: when to use ‘Free-flow mode’ 🌊The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/cant-make-up-your-mind/)
A look at the **other* mode of thinking we have at our disposal
### It's not all bad in there
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-not-all-bad-in-there/
Last updated: 2026-03-11T15:39:54.000Z
Now, you’re a clever bunch (something you’ve demonstrated by being subscribed to the Daily Reminders 😉) … and this sometimes gets you into trouble.
Because you like your thinking and you’re proud of your intellects and so you should be!
I do my very best not to denigrate thinking *too* much, but of course when I’m writing things like *“blah blah blah,”* and *“it’s all made up,”* and *“just ignore it!”* it’s easy—*very* easy indeed—for the mind to take that and run with it and to get the impression that what I’m saying is:
🚫
****Thinking = Bad.**
This is what happened with a client, a while ago. A veritable boffin, with a beautiful analytical mind, cultivated over a career.
And they were used to *using* this beautiful analytical mind of theirs to solve all sorts of problems, strategise brilliantly and bring a richness of experience and knowledge to all they did.
This is awesome and I love it. You won’t catch me knocking *any* of that.
BUT…
That beautiful analytical mind had taken over. It wouldn’t stop. (Especially in the evenings.) There was an inability to switch off, as it also tried to solve the ‘problems’ of relaxation, strategise complex inter-personal dynamics and figure out how to get to sleep.
It was exhausting them.
---
So we began the work of unlearning, as we always do. Looking towards what’s *before* thought. Exploring what *powered* the analytical mind and furnished it with insight and creativity in the first place.
🤔
And the mind didn’t like it. Oh no. What *it* heard was:
🚫
****Thinking = Bad.**
…and it just couldn’t get past that. It kind of brought the shutters down a bit – everything was seen through that one perception; that one belief.
Very natural, very common. To be expected, even!
## So what’s to be done?
Well, for me, it’s a case of keeping plugging on, safe in the knowledge that I’ve got [principles on my side](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-gravity-sometimes-didnt-work/), trying all sorts of different angles and metaphors and stories to break the impasse.
And for those I’m working with, it’s a case of staying the course, keeping exploring, and remaining open-minded. (The [three necessary ingredients](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) for change!)
To my client’s credit, all of these were done, and the inevitable breakthrough came, with much relief, as I received a message that said:
> *“Today was a sudden realisation that not all brain thinking is bad!!! I've been conflating all brain workings into a single lump, all marked 'not helpful'. And that was feeling terrible!”*
An insight. Something seen. A shift in perspective that pulled the shutters all the way up and let the light in.
🌞
Everything changed for them, from that point forwards. Work-life balance was restored. Sleep returned.
Nothing was lost, but everything was gained.
---
So I’ll say it again, for everyone to hear:
👍
****It’s not all bad in there and thought is** ****not** **the enemy!**
The intellect and memory and analysis are truly *wonderful* things.
BUT…
Use them only when required; when they’re the right tool for the job. They’re just one teeny tiny part of your experience and there’s ***so much more.***
💟
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Has your beautiful analytical mind taken over? Do you feel like you're unable to switch it off? Know that it's time now to do something about that, once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Do you sometimes get mad with your self?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-sometimes-get-mad-with-your-self/
Last updated: 2026-01-21T11:57:25.000Z
Tell me you do this too: you go upstairs with a clear purpose.
You get upstairs and you do something up there.
You come back downstairs only to discover that the thing you did wasn’t the thing you went upstairs to do (or most usually to get).
You turn round and you go back upstairs…
Just me?
😑
Now, here’s the question: do you get cross with your self when this happens?
I used to. I used to get more than cross, I used to get mad. 🤬
(Anger is basically fear, isn’t it? So I guess if we’re digging here, I feared I was losing control.)
Anyway, I don’t get mad any more. I don’t even really get cross.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll probably cuss a little, but it’s coming from a place of detached amusement rather than any real concern.
> *“You can’t trust that Giles character - he’s bloody useless!”*
😆
Every now and again, if it happens in a moment when life seems really urgent (and let’s face it, it’s *way* more likely to happen in those low-consciousness moments, isn’t it?) I’ll cuss a lot, and if my wife catches me, she might lovingly chastise me, saying,
> *“Huni, don’t be so hard on yourself!”*
And that really stops me in my tracks, because when I take stock in those moments, I notice that even the super-size cussing is *still* coming from a place of detached amusement.
You see, that part of the process that forgot what it was supposed to remember—that ‘self’ that seems to be in charge—that’s not me!
It’s just a decades-old computer-mind that’s easily distracted by itself, not matching up to its own rules it’s created and getting tetchy with itself when it does.
What on earth has that got to do with me?! 🤷🏻♂️
I mean, it’s doing its best, maybe we should cut the poor thing some slack.
Show it some “self” compassion.
🔑
****Key Message**: Who you really are is ****before** thought.
---
And here’s the thing—your ***‘What if…?’*** for the day and week ahead—what if the fear of losing control was always a red herring because that part of the process was never in control in the first place?
Maybe that’s why I don’t get mad any more? 🤔
Have yourself a cracking week.
Wherever it leads you.
💟
Giles
p.s. the flip side of seeing that you’re not in control is… \[fanfare\] You can stop trying to control everything!! 🥳🎉
That’s why my 1:1 clients come through a [block of exploration](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals) with me with big grins on their faces. Life is so much easier, and they didn’t have to lift a finger. Imagine that!
### Your next read
[Forgiving past transgressionsSeriously ‘bad behaviour’ that is harmful to others, operates under the same principles as minor misdemeanours ❤️🩹The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/forgiving-past-transgressions/)
What's super-powerful to see is that these exact same principles apply, whatever the beahviour.
### It's time to update your map version
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/update-your-map-version/
Last updated: 2026-08-12T12:18:12.000Z
I remember, years ago (back when I was a personal development junkie) listening to Stephen Covey’s *7 Habits of Highly Effective People* and hearing him say (but not fully understanding):
> ***“The map is not the territory.”***
…and then trying to get my head round what a principle was, and a paradigm and what was the difference between a personality and a character, and values and beliefs and ethics. And trying to remember all these definitions, and what they meant I should do.
There was a lot of figuring out to do, back then. And it all felt really hard.
These days [it’s much simpler](https://www.gilespcroft.com/simple-answers-to-complex-problems/), and as a consequence, life is much easier.
As for the quote, what he’s pointing to is what I’ve said many, many times: that we’re not experiencing reality directly. Nobody ever has. Nobody ever can. Nobody ever will.
We have a [human-limited aperture](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/), called our senses, through which we get a teeny tiny, unique-to-us picture of it. As Alan Watts said:
> “The ordinary, everyday consciousness that we have leaves out more than it takes in.”
So what we’re experiencing is not the territory, it’s a map.
What we experience is not the world, but our concepts and beliefs *of* the world.
Going back to Covey for a moment, he sums it up really nicely, by saying:
> ***“We see the world not as it is, but as we are.”***
We’re never experiencing ‘out there’ … we’re only ever experiencing our selves, reflected outward.
🤯
(i.e. it’s inside-out, not outside-in.)
I once created **this*, for a keynote I gave, to illustrate the difference
Now, there’s a problem here, and that’s the fact that the world (the territory) is constantly changing, while our concepts & beliefs (our map) remain largely static.
It would be like me going out for a bike ride using a beautiful, 1905 vintage Bartholomew map of the area (those things [really are gorgeous](https://maps.nls.uk/view/97131080?ref=gilespcroft.com); I still have a few dated from the 1940s) and expecting not to get lost when cycling through a big town; something that would be inevitable, given how much the landscape has changed in the intervening century.
What we need is an ***update to our map***, and the great news is that this is something that is built in to the human operating system: automatic updates.
We can call them ‘[insights](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/)’.
So we’re trundling along, doing the best we can with our old map, innocently unaware it’s out of date, and going along with the best available solutions that we can come up with while using that old map:
- unhealthy coping mechanisms
- anxiety in the face of uncertainty
- overthinking everything
A wrong turn here, a missed junction there; ending up comprehensively lost and stuck in the back of beyond.
🗺️
****All because our map is out of date and we just didn’t notice.**
We can tell what map version we're using, by the behaviours we observe.
Just like all the people using 1905's map, believing it to be true, would likely end up lost in the exact same place, people operating under the same outdated map of reality will find themselves exhibiting the same patterns of behaviour.
(Hello, the [DSM](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic%5Fand%5FStatistical%5FManual%5Fof%5FMental%5FDisorders?ref=gilespcroft.com) of mental dis-orders.)
The good news is that Innate Health coaching is like hitting that ‘Software update’ button, allowing the system to recalibrate; the old, outdated map of reality to fall away and a tailored-to-you, much more updated version to be installed.
Your concepts and beliefs—which we will always have (deal with it)—become much more closely aligned with how the territory *actually* is.
You stop getting lost, and it’s much easier to find your way through life.
Old, unnecessary patterns of behaviour [just fall away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/), because you’re no longer being guided by an outdated map.
And the Human Operating System purrs along nicely again.
💟
Giles
p.s. The [original phrase](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Map%E2%80%93territory%5Frelation?ref=gilespcroft.com) *“A map is not the territory”* was coined by Alfred Korzybski, Polish-American philosopher in 1933.
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Your reality is a perception of the mindA short video with three helpful metaphors for how we experience the world 🎬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/)
More on how the map is created.
### Is this a cult?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-this-a-cult/
Last updated: 2026-06-27T08:26:43.000Z
Last Sunday, we tackled the question of: [Is this something to do with religion](https://www.gilespcroft.com/isnt-this-just-another-religion/)? and it went down pretty well (I’m told)… so this Sunday let’s slay another sacred cow, eh, by answering the question:
> ***Is this a cult?***
(Funny story: the first ever paying client I had, accused me of being a cultist and asked for their money back after a few sessions; more of a reflection of my poor/dreadfully naive coaching skills than anything else, I suspect! 😂 Needless to say, I can laugh about it *now*.)
I find this whole area of discussion fascinating, and as always, I want to put your mind at ease about any of the questions or concerns it might come up with, and this is *definitely* a thing that minds get their knickers in a twist over.
(To be fair, I’ve known completely sensible people who’ve had pretty big insights around the 3Ps, have seen their life change quite dramatically as a result, but then have run in the opposite direction because they felt deeply uncomfortable with the notion of the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com) and what they thought they stood for. The struggle is real, people!)
So I remain open-minded and I love watching documentaries about cults, because boy, do I know how to get my kicks.
---
The gold standard, that I’ve watched twice, is *Wild, Wild Country*, (available on [Netflix](https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/80145240?ref=gilespcroft.com)*)*, all about the rise and fall (and rise again, really) of the spiritual teacher **Baghwan Shree Rajneesh**/**Osho** in the 1970’s and 80’s. And there’s another one [on BBC iPlayer](https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0027sqf?ref=gilespcroft.com), all about **Gloriavale**… which, at the time of writing, is an ongoing situation.
Both are highly recommended… with the obvious caveats about watching TV programmes about cults and what they get up to!
---
So anyway, if we’re going to establish whether or not the 3 Principles could be considered a cult, first of all we have to define what a cult is.
I asked my AI assistant to flesh this one out for me, and it came up with an 8-point list (it’s *so* eager to provide lists!) but in the end I thought it was better to hear directly from a real human who escaped Gloriavale—no mean feat—who described the process thus:
> *“We are concerned for our children’s safety, and so I cannot just sit back and go on with my head in the sand… the best and safest way to protect them would be to leave.*
> *“But it goes waaaay deeper than just ‘get up and leave’. Because I was born and raised there; my wife was born and raised there. You are taught every day—from the moment you can understand English—that this is a place where you have got to be; this is a place where God wants you. If you leave, you’re going against God’s will, so you’re sinning. If you sin, you go to hell.*
> *“That is just pounded and pounded and pounded for years and years and years, just ongoing… it’s a psychological barrier. There is no way to cross that line.”*
Why’s he concerned, you may ask? Oh, you know, widespread sexual abuse, psychological abuse, modern slavery… and all in the name of doing ‘God’s’ work, via their ‘charismatic‘ leader, [Neville Cooper](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloriavale%5FChristian%5FCommunity?ref=gilespcroft.com#Neville%5FCooper).
(I did warn you.)
---
Anyway, absolutely determined to not let ChatGPT just sit there on its lazy arse, I asked it to examine various ‘movements’ throughout the world, past and present, and assign an ‘**Is this a cult?**’ rating to them all, as measured against its checklist of 8 things to look out for, which were, for the record:
1. Authoritarian leadership
2. Controlling or abusive practices
3. Us-vs-Them mentality
4. Exploitation of members
5. Suppression of dissent
6. Censorship of outside information
7. Exclusion of all other beliefs/values
8. Difficulty leaving
To put you out of your misery, the **Gloriavale** Fundamentalist Christian community scored 9/10 (**Jonestown** and **Waco** both obviously 10/10: textbook cults), the commune of **Rajneeshpuram** (Osho’s ‘utopia’) probably started at a much lower number, but ultimately became an 8/10, mainstream **Abrahamic religions**—all of 'em—scored between 4 and 7 (sorry; I didn’t come up with this list) and the **3 Principles** was awarded a 2/10.
An important reminder:
⚠️
**“Chat GPT can make mistakes. Check important information.”*
😉
Why 2/10? Because (according to the AI):
> *“…some individuals or training schools within the movement may overly revere Banks or discourage questioning — but the movement as a whole does not meet cult criteria.”*
Interesting!
Kind of understandable, I suppose. I myself have a quote from Syd at the bottom of each email, and I heartily recommend everyone seeks out his original materials (only because he was so damned *clear* about the whole thing), so that looks like reverence, doesn’t it?
But honestly, you only have to listen to about 10 minutes of [Syd audio](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#audio), before he’ll discourage you from being a follower, invite you to think for yourself and highlight—with absolute clarity—that *all* beliefs are creations of thought, and therefore, not ‘it’.
Oh, as well as tell you to keep going to whatever church you go to (if that’s your bag) and just listen better, you numpty! 😆
---
Like [I said last week](https://www.gilespcroft.com/isnt-this-just-another-religion/), we are 8+ billion doorways onto the ineffable, and sometimes a lot of humans peep through one particular ‘big doorway’, because it makes sense to do so; it’s inviting to them in some way (or, more likely, their parents did and they don’t know any different)!
For me—and again, this is literally the Giles Ego Construct 📦 talking here, and [it’s wrong about *everything*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong-again/), by definition—the 3Ps are the most unassuming, take-it-or-leave-it, un-cultish, ‘big doorway’ going.
At least the way I appear to share them, anyway.
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
p.s. You know what scores zero on Chat GPT’s ‘Is this a cult’ scale? Nihilism! 🥹
p.p.s. You’re truly welcome to [get in touch with me](https://www.gilespcroft.com/contact) to let me know about the bad experience you had of the 3Ps or a 3Ps teacher and why you don’t like them… if you genuinely think that doing so will help you to [dwell on it less](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-it-off-your-mind/)!! ❤️🩹
### Related
[Isn’t this just another religion?Why the 3 Principles have nothing and everything to do with religion 🙏🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/isnt-this-just-another-religion/)
### Impossible expectations
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/impossible-expectations/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T22:14:07.000Z
In one memorable conversation I had, I was helping someone get the most out of being on someone *else’s* change programme!
😂
(Giles is such a stand up guy.)
This person had gone into it with such expectations—really enthusiastic, chomping at the bit, couldn’t wait to see the changes they wanted to see—but once they got started, it all seemed a bit disappointing.
In their own words:
> *“I feel like I’m on a launching pad, but it’s beneath a willow tree… and I’m stuck in mud!”*
We’ve all been there (I know I certainly have)and there’s very natural mental fallout from these disappointments:
- *Oh. I thought this was going to be the answer, and it isn’t*
- *What’s wrong with me - nothing seems to work?!*
- *This is such a waste of time and money, I wish I hadn’t signed up*
- *I’m a useless failure and I’m basically stuck like this for ever* 😞
Blah, blah, blah-dee, blah blah from blah-ville.
Honestly, minds!
🙄
Now, if this had been a programme that was all about learning how to re-wire a fridge (is that a thing?), or how to use accounting software or something, then this might be a bit more understandable. Under such circumstances I think it's fair enough for the mind to complain:
> *“I came here to learn this skill and you’ve not taught me that skill!”*
…but it wasn’t. It was a change programme.
And the mind knows *nothing* about change.
It *thinks* it does, because over the course of a life, it’s *observed* a whole load of change happening, and it’s subsequently ‘got involved’ by *conceptualising* that change and turning it into a story (no doubt taking credit for the bits that it likes).
But it’s not the *cause* of change. It doesn’t *instigate* change. And it certainly can’t put its order in for change, and then get what it wants.
Because that’s what all these expectations are, aren’t they?
The mind, creating a story about how it thinks things (or the change process) are going to go, and then—very understandably—getting all disappointed when things don’t happen the way it wanted.
🤷🏻♂️
The great irony here, of course, is that the mind is the source of the original ‘problem’ we want to change.
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind
And then, as it muses on this problem it's created, it's also the source of the predicted ‘solution’ to its problem (that can never be fulfilled, because it’s completely made up), and then it’s getting upset when it observes its made up solution to its made up problem not coming to fruition.
😂
These are IMPOSSIBLE expectations.
I don’t think there’s anything to be done, but be wise to its tricks. A mind is always going to behave like this, because it's just what minds do: they're [restless](https://www.gilespcroft.com/restless/), by nature.
But we can see *through* the mind's tricks and not add fuel to the (inevitable) fire by going down the route of wondering,
> *“What’s wrong with me?!”*
Because that’s just more useless mind rubbish as well.
💟
Giles
p.s. Of course, you can *know* this, and *plan* for it, and try and *avoid* it, but even knowing it’s likely to happen is just… the mind setting expectations of how it’s going to fall out of its own expectations!!! 🤯😆
p.p.s. And what happens if expectations *are* met? Well then, firstly you'll notice the mind saying that it's [never enough](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-never-enough/), and then, not long after, you'll find [the whole goddamn thing starts… all over… again](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-a-song-lyric-taught-me-about-goals/).
#[QuitTheGame](https://www.gilespcroft.com/restless/)
### Inside-Out
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/
Last updated: 2026-01-26T14:26:49.000Z
What is it then, this “inside-out” malarkey? You’ll hear me banging on about it all the time, but what does it actually *mean?* And what difference does it make?
Put simply, 100% of the *experience* of being human is happening from within. Mediated by the Principle of Thought. Moment to moment, we’re bathing in this constant stream of data—vibrating energy—and to prevent us from going mad, our psychological systems are screening out 99.99% of it and presenting us with a best guess at what we need to know, in order to avoid being eaten, and giving us the best shot at procreation.
It’s an image of what’s what. And that’s *our* reality. Ours alone. Because it’s happening inside us, not anyone else.
And so, moment to moment, although it really *really* looks like we’re living our lives experiencing a bunch of feelings that result from our external circumstances, that’s a trick of the mind. Because the reality is we’re living in the feeling of Thought-perception.
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a thought-created perceptual reality.
Yeah, I know.
And it’s fair enough to *kind* of get it. And it’s perfectly reasonable to just brush over it as maybe a bit interesting and nothing more… but the implications, when followed through… well, they’re really very practical.
In fact I’d go as far saying they’re pretty important actually. Profound, even. Ok, huge. Life-changingly huge.
So huge I quit my job to start gently leading people to see this for themselves.
Because when you do, nothing is ever the same again.
## **Something occurs**
So I’m out Walking & Talking with a client and I’m reaching for suitable metaphors to get this stuff across, because, as you’ll gather from reading the paragraphs above, it’s mostly like, *WTF Giles, you crazy man?!*
And I’ve learned, over time, from basic principle (and many bungled attempts), that the worst thing I can do in these circumstances is to get all up in my head, trying to *think* of the best way of *explaining* it.
No, it has to be felt. To be experienced. So I stay present, stay quiet, stop trying so hard and briefly reassure myself “something will occur” when it needs to.
We’re walking on a short but necessary section of very narrow country lane, single file, me behind, when a vehicle comes out of nowhere. The car is big, the road is small, and we both press ourselves into the hedge. It slows (a bit) goes past and I catch my client up. She’s apoplectic. And apologetic, her gesture still hanging in the air.
> ***“Sorry, sorry, excuse my French! But… did you see that?!”***
> *“See what?”*
> ***“He nearly ran us down! I was nearly knocked over by his wing mirror! Who does he think he is?”***
I chuckle, making light of it, to get us back on track.
> *“Yeah, it’s really narrow down here, isn’t it? Barely enough room for a vehicle at all, let alone people as well! Still, we’re over that stile and into the next field just there…”*
I meet her eye and it’s clear she’s really hacked off.
And in that moment, I realise that “something has just occurred.”
Here it is: we’re in.
I ask,
> *“Did you see my reaction?”*
> ***“No, I didn’t. What did you do, give him a hard stare?”***
> *“No, I got out of the way, because I’ve evolved the skills we need to avoid cars and wing mirrors, just like you have, and then I caught up with you. And here we are. Safe and sound. How you doing?”*
A layer of irritation is laid down on top of the dissipating anger.
> ***“What do you mean?”***
I prod.
> *“You’re pretty pissed off right? Where’s that coming from?”*
> ***“That bastard nearly knocked us both down! And it’s happened before! They’ve no consideration whatsoever for walkers! It makes me so angry!”***
## **The illusion**
A natural, learned, totally understandable, innocent misunderstanding.
It’s outside-in thinking: falling for the illusion that circumstances are destined to “make us” feel a particular way.
To my client, the anger really and truly felt like it had been *caused* by what had just happened. That these strong emotions contained some information about the incident itself. But they didn’t.
At a fundamental level, they were a reflection of Thought taking form in that moment, and nothing more.
> *“So, tell me. What do you make of the fact I experienced the exact same event, and wasn’t bothered in the slightest?”*
## **Implications**
Whether it’s a ‘dangerous’ run in with a car, ‘harsh’ words from a critic, a ‘disappointing’ outcome, an ‘annoying’ child, an ‘impossible’ task, a ‘shit’ situation or an ‘insensitive’ partner… the object is neutral and the adjectives come courtesy of Thought.
Every time. No exceptions.
Of course, for as long as we live and breathe, it will always *look* like experience is coming from “out there,” but at the level of principle… well, it comes from inside of us. 100% of it. We experience life from the inside-out.
And as [Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) wrote:
> *“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”*
💟
Giles
### You don't need to apply insights
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-need-to-apply-insights/
Last updated: 2026-08-31T23:43:27.000Z
Here’s a thing that happens frequently.
I’m having a coaching conversation with someone.
We’ve fallen into the space of insight, where the intellect/ego has gone a bit quiet and they’ve really *seen* something about the nature of the experience they’re having. Life suddenly all makes sense.
They visibly relax. Maybe smile. Breathe.
(It’s a bit like waking up from a bad dream… the relief is palpable, even over Zoom!)
And then I see them start thinking again, and their mind will project into the future and imagine a repeat difficult situation, and it’ll innocently try and figure out how what they’ve just seen, might apply to that imagined, future situation.
And they’ll say something like,
> *“Right. I get it. What I need to do is just… \[x, y or z\]”*
Or,
> *“So next time that happens, what I’m gonna do is… \[a, b or c\]”*
And it doesn’t work like that!
You don’t need to *do* anything, because what we’re looking at here is [Principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/) (i.e. just the way something works).
Once you’ve *seen* something very differently, [things just change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/). They don’t look the same!
It’s actually Key Message #2 in the [FOUNDATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/#:~:text=01%20FOUNDATIONS,-Looking%20in%20a) Module of the [RECONNECT course](https://www.gilespcroft.com/reconnect/) I run:
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn’t require willpower, but ****INSIGHT**
Or to hijack the famous Maya Angelou quote,
> *“Do the best you can until you know better.*
> *And when you know better, do better.”*
Keep reading the Daily Reminders, slow down from time to time to reflect on how they're playing out in your own, every day experience, and just watch what happens.
There's nothing to apply!
With so much love,
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[This is not a philosophy“I love your philosophy!” is kind, but it’s also kinda missing the point 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-not-a-philosophy/)
### Being ok, whatever
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-ok-whatever/
Last updated: 2026-03-11T17:27:56.000Z
My now 11yo daughter was in a philosophical mood this evening, waxing lyrical about what makes her happy, what people don’t know about other people, and what ‘perfect’ means to her.
(I think it was all being hung, conceptually, on perceptions of Taylor Swift, but I couldn’t fully keep up, truth be told.)
Anyway, she’s feeling her way into the Innate Health understanding in her own special way, and decided that there were *two* types of happiness:
1. The kind that comes from **having a whole load of stuff**, and maybe fame, too (which, she realises, does actually come with drawbacks)
2. The kind that’s ‘**just there**’ and, crucially, is ‘always there’.
I’ll take that!
---
It brought to mind a conversation with someone—an old client—who’d noticed that they’d started to fret about an upcoming activity they had planned.
It was something outdoorsy that they usually enjoyed, but whenever the mind turned to it, there was worry; fear of things going wrong.
So natural.
It's those two greatest hits of the mind again (that [we established recently](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insights-keep-coming/), are actually one thing) in play:
1. Trying to predict the future
2. Trying to predict how we’ll *feel* in said fictional future
[Insights keep comingThe mind \*loves\* to divide things up. What what if it’s all just ONE thing? ♾️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insights-keep-coming/)
Being fairly *au fait* with the Inside-Out understanding, the client—or should I say their mind—was very much on board with this, and it was trying to rationalise its way through the problem (another of its greatest hits)!
> *“I *know* these things are just the mind creating stories. I *know* they’re not really going to happen. But that doesn’t seem to help.”*
And it won’t.
Because the issue isn’t that these things are unlikely to happen – they actually *could* happen, you know?!
No, the thing is, that even if they *did* happen, we’d be ok whatever, because we’re built to thrive in the reality of the present moment.
The most terrible disaster could occur, and underneath all that, life would be living us, responding, coming up with solutions, delivering wisdom, doing what it does to keep the organism alive… and none of that has anything to do with the mind at all.
And we’d get through it and look back on it with yet more evidence to boot, of our Innate Health – what my daughter intuited was the kind of happiness that’s just there and *always* there.
---
So next time you spot the mind trying to rationalise its way out of a problem of its own creation, trying to stop you from doing something you’d quite like to do, rather than joining in and trying to play it at its own game, why not just leave it be… let it carry on doing its thing, harmlessly, while you carry on doing yours.
💟
Giles
p.s. the client went and did the thing, and had a *lovely* time, naturally.
### Related
[The storm before the calmWhat if you could see that you don’t actually have to be calm, right now? ⛈️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/storm-before-the-calm/)
More on ‘pre-match nerves”
### Isn't this just another religion?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/isnt-this-just-another-religion/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T10:44:48.000Z
It’s Sunday, so let’s talk about God, shall we?
(Ooooh, what did the Reader Ego Construct 📦 do, when I used the ‘G’ word then??)
🤔
You’ll have noted that I don’t, very often. (Use the ‘G’ word).
Because of that very reason: our conditioning around the word and what it represents is so entrenched—over millennia, in some cases!—and people are understandably a bit precious about it. It’s easy to offend.
Actually, that’s not true. As my first ever coach pointed out to me:
> *It is not possible to offend; only to be offended.*
…think about it.
🧐
But, yeah, that aside, it’s a big deal isn’t it? Wars being fought and atrocities being committed in the name of… etc. and after having been brought up going to church as a child, it never made a great deal of sense to me to continue with religion, when I had the choice.
So I drifted away.
Then I went in the opposite direction and was radically opposed to the idea of religion during my Uni days (while still having some very close friends in the church), and to be honest, never really ‘got it’.
Then I came across the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com), and all the pieces of the jigsaw slotted into place for me.
---
I get questions (sometimes accusations!) about the relationship between the 3 Principles and religion, which I think is only natural when you listen to, or read, anything by [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) and he’s talking about *“God being the allness”* and stuff like that. In fact, some of the older audios of his (pre-3Ps) from the 70’s feature a lot of ‘G’ word action!
Here you go; a quote from [The Missing Link](https://sydneybanks.com/product/the-missing-link/?ref=gilespcroft.com):
> *“Both the form and the formless together create the whole, the oneness of life, that which we call God.”*
So the natural question is, *“Hang on, isn’t this something to do with religion?”*
---
My view—and of course this is just what the Giles Ego Construct 📦 believes—on it is this: it’s all saying exactly the same thing.
☯️
**Everything* is a metaphor for life, and existence. [Everything](https://www.gilespcroft.com/metaphors-all-the-way-down/).
There’s *clearly* an energy to life (if there wasn’t, I wouldn’t be typing this and you wouldn’t be reading it), and whether you call that life energy Universal Mind, or God, or Spirit, or Prana, or Nature, or Chi, or the Quantum Field, or Soul, or Truth, or The Great Spirit, or Wisdom, or Evolution or a bazillion other things, is neither here nor there, really.
So there’s this indefinable thing—call it ‘Jeff’ if you want!—that we can never fully know, and then there are 8+ billion doorways opening onto that thing. All these human [apertures](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/). Some are more ornate than others. Some have entry requirements. Some are rich in story and meaning.
But these are *all* mind-made and I think that’s the important thing to see.
None of them are true. All of them are [wrong](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insights-keep-coming/).
---
So if you ask me, *“Giles, is there a God?”* you’ll get two answers:
1. **Of course there is!** – what exactly is it you think you’re *experiencing* right now, FFS?!
2. **Of course there isn’t!** – it’s just a concept us humans have made up to satisfy the left brain’s need to categorise, label and find meaning, where there is none.
🤷🏻♂️
(Awkward bastard that I am.)
When push comes to shove, there’s just *THIS*. Here. Now.
That’s all you get.
---
And maybe your take home points are:
1. **If you have a faith…** then the 3Ps aren’t a threat to it. They’re just a metaphor for how we experience this thing we call ‘reality’. I suspect, as is the case for many of my clients, a deeper appreciation for those principles will only *enrich* your faith. Principles are great at *explaining* stuff, and I’m guessing you’ll make the connections that make sense to you.
2. **If you’re a bit anti-religion…** the 3Ps aren’t that. They’re merely a (very simple, rule-free) metaphor for how we experience this thing we call ‘reality’ and there are infinite ways to view that. Stick to the neuroscience and the evidence from the world of physics, if that’s the case, and do what makes sense to you.
Either way… have your self a peaceful Sunday.
💝
Giles
p.s. Still can’t get your head round the idea of it **not being possible to offend someone?** Argue the toss with me in the comments – I’m happy to be proved wrong (and, as it happens, impossible to offend)! 😂
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Is this a cult?In which we analyse several popular movements using an objective ‘Is this a cult?’ scale 📏The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-this-a-cult/)
Go on then, let’s slaughter another of the mind’s sacred cows.
### The mind isn't made for thinking
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-mind-isnt-made-for-thinking/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T19:59:44.000Z
> *“The mind isn't made for thinking.”*
It was a conclusion that a client came to, when we’d reached the space of insight together, and things were seen with clarity.
I gotta admit, as we sat there, reflecting on what had just been said, we both felt a tad uncomfortable with the phrasing—like it didn’t *truly* nail what we’d just seen together—but we both immediately knew exactly what was meant.
It’s that importance of seeing that the mind—the chatterbox, thinky-thinky, here-have-a-thought bit that we’re aware of—is not the SOURCE of anything.
It’s a data repository ***through which*** we become aware of experience.
Here we go, think of it like this:
📡
The mind is a RECEIVER not a TRANSMITTER.
🤔
## A helpful metaphor
Unwittingly, we’d stumbled upon a notion that is the basis of lots of exciting, progressive thinking from the neuroscience community (who are [finally demonstrating what ancient philosophies have always known](https://amzn.to/3FbyM7i?ref=gilespcroft.com)*)* where Cognitive Scientists like Donald Hoffman talk about the “primacy of consciousness,” suggesting that,
> *“Consciousness isn’t a product of the brain. The brain is a product of consciousness.”*
Which is brilliant and erudite and thought-provoking… and for this here simpleton, a bit too hard to get my head around.
So how about thinking about it in terms of a good old fashioned radio?
📻
Every single radio station you could possibly want to listen to is *already there*. The radio doesn’t *create* the signals, it just tunes into them.
It’s a receiver (radios literally used to be called ‘wireless receivers’), not a transmitter.
And what’s the ‘reality’ we get? A very real experience of a programme that can be enjoyed to the full; one that to all intents and purposes *looks* like it’s being created by the radio.
But it’s not. The radio’s just tuning into something that’s already there.
## That's you, that is
And, in no doubt overly-simplistic, but ultimately helpful terms, consider that this is how the mind works, [tuning in to the infinite](https://www.gilespcroft.com/consciousness-is-bonkers/), already-there, vibrating mass of energy.
What's the ‘reality’ that we get? A very real experience of Thought-perception that can be enjoyed to the full; one that to all intents and purposes *looks* like it’s being created by the mind.
But it’s not. The mind’s just tuning into something that’s already there.
And there are a bazillion *other* thought-experiences up for grabs.
😯
> *“The mind isn’t made for thinking”* – see?
## Decisions, decisions
One of the most show-stopping [IMPLICATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/implications/) of this understanding of how the mind works, is that when it comes to decision-making, the answer we’re looking for, technically speaking, is *already there.*
We don’t come up with an answer.
📡
We ****receive** it.
Ooh.
😳
That’s different, isn’t it?
💟
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/IkKBz?ref=gilespcroft.com)
This is the direction we look in, in the ****Decision-making Video Masterclass**, available in the store now, either as a stand alone self-study course, or paired with a 1:1 personalised coaching session to deepen your insights and apply them to your unique situation.
**If choices in life seem to carry a weight that you'd now like to shrug off—and you're open to seeing something more fundamental about their nature—then this one is probably for you.*
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/IkKBz?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### An invitation to apathy?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/an-invitation-to-apathy/
Last updated: 2026-08-31T23:39:09.000Z
It’s Sunday, so let’s go full Zen, shall we?
😉
Here, have a look at this. What d’you think it means?
[](https://www.facebook.com/groups/188852091752123/?multi%5Fpermalinks=1636633940307257&hoisted%5Fsection%5Fheader%5Ftype=recently%5Fseen&%5F%5Fcft%5F%5F[0]=AZaFbWQUP9y%5FNtjnSv502nvFLFHEc2MFawl6nNp4QJx0ovC0sYkmygue3z0bai-Fq%5FI3RJBNxRNXen1cfa2IToTnhvpZl6X4AWRXH54j4xUmp-xzwAg3mFCE1bKDu-k3TJ6fkZHbjekqIXV%5Fzg7UpVf92NtZfSlqAzd-8TnyPkmWrwv5AlL8LdDtTMRNykOjhdY&%5F%5Ftn%5F%5F=%2CO%2CP-R)
I saw this on [social media](https://www.facebook.com/groups/188852091752123/?multi%5Fpermalinks=1636633940307257&hoisted%5Fsection%5Fheader%5Ftype=recently%5Fseen&%5F%5Fcft%5F%5F[0]=AZaFbWQUP9y%5FNtjnSv502nvFLFHEc2MFawl6nNp4QJx0ovC0sYkmygue3z0bai-Fq%5FI3RJBNxRNXen1cfa2IToTnhvpZl6X4AWRXH54j4xUmp-xzwAg3mFCE1bKDu-k3TJ6fkZHbjekqIXV%5Fzg7UpVf92NtZfSlqAzd-8TnyPkmWrwv5AlL8LdDtTMRNykOjhdY&%5F%5Ftn%5F%5F=%2CO%2CP-R) and subsequently went back to bed 😉
> *“Master, what are you doing today?”*
> *“Nothing.”*
> *“But you did that yesterday.”*
> *“Yes. And I haven’t finished.”*
Come on, it can only mean one thing, right?
That if we’re to nail this stuff—become enlightened!—then we need to stop doing everything.
And just BE.
‘Being’ is where it’s at, isn’t it?? Because Giles, you’re always saying stuff like that.
- *“Slow down”*
- *“Stop trying”*
- *“There’s nothing to do”*
That’s what you mean, isn’t it?
What you’re ultimately saying—what this picture is saying—is that if I want peace of mind, I have to STOP and DO NOTHING.
---
I’ll get to the punchline in a minute, but before I do, truly, I believe that this (👆🏻) is what stops most people from living a life of ease and flow and wellbeing and mental health.
This damned image and what it represent for people.
Because it looks like our choice in life boils down to one of two options:
1. Work hard, achieve success, live a ‘comfortable’ life but accept that it’s pretty stressful doing all that stuff and really when you think about it, these days it’s pretty difficult to even achieve success, and ‘comfortable’ is more like just making ends meet and oh dear I have so much to do just to keep my head above water and I’m definitely working too hard and I'm probably drinking too much and my sleep is terrible but I honestly don’t know what else to do…
OR
1. Renounce all that (although we’re not sure how; I mean… how are the bills gonna get paid?!) and go on this weird spiritual journey that means sitting around a lot, doing nothing, but, erm… feeling good?
AMIRITE??
---
It cropped up a while back, with a client. Their presenting complaint was sleeplessness (to the degree where they were “terrified of bed” 💔) and although things had improved greatly, there was still an awareness of not being able to switch off sometimes, when trying to sleep.
Which then led to a natural, understandable response of trying to somehow ‘techniquify’ the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com), by *“reminding myself that it’s just thought,”* or *“remembering* [*the snow globe thing*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pollution-solution/#:~:text=The%20mind%20is%20a%20self%2Dcorrecting%20system)*.”*
I gently enquired as to whether that ‘reminding’ and ‘remembering’ might actually all be part of the same thing: the mind trying to take control of the situation, and inadvertently perpetuating the sleeplessness as it did so… perhaps…?
🤔
…and was rewarded with:
> *“So, it’s back to DO NOTHING again?!”* 😫
I shrugged. I mean, I don’t know what the answer is, but there are a load of things it *doesn’t* make sense to do, for sure.
And then the mind got whirring and a bit indignant and doing its hop-skip-jump to conclusions thing it does so well, and it asked,
> *“But if you continue to do nothing… don’t you just become a bit like a zombie or something?”*
It’s a bingo! 🎰
There it is! That fear we all have: Looking in this direction is an invitation to apathy.
Which means we decide *not* to look in this direction. Because it offers ‘nothing’. It’s right there in that damned Zen picture – NOTHING!
\[Hits unsubscribe.\]
😞
Of course there’s only one problem with all that: it’s total bollocks.
And it’s the main reason we’re all so stressed out, overwhelmed, anxious and depressed.
Because we believe it!
---
Here you go then, I'll put you out of your misery:
When the Zen Master says he is ‘doing nothing’, all he means is that whatever actions he’s taking; whatever is being created on his watch… ‘he’ (as in: that mind-created sense of self/ego that’s no more than a collection of ideas) **is not doing it**.
💡
Ego is never **doing* anything!
All ego ever does is observe life’s happenstance and blabber on all the time about all the awesome stuff it supposedly does to make your life a success. And then it blames ‘you’ (i.e. itself 🙄) when things don’t turn out how it wants.
So to clarify the image, it’s more like:
> *Master, what are “you” doing today?*
> *“Me?” Oh, nothing. Having let go of this notion of a self, running the show, one observed all the amazing things that happened.*
Or as I put it in the chapter of my book entitled *Being and Doing*:
> 📔 *“Contrary to what many of us believe, having a quiet mind does not mean we will be physically inactive or unproductive. It’s quite the opposite. Being—being present to what is, free from the distraction of the mind’s incessant needs, judgements and worries—is the simple, overlooked *key* to high performance.”*
So…
Why not be more Zen?
Because you’ll be more effortlessly productive to boot.
😘
Giles
p.s. The client? Oh, they have been known to sleep through their alarm these days. I guess they have some catching up to do! 😂
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Where you’re coming fromThe antecedent of what you do, and why you do it 💖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/where-youre-coming-from/)
Seeing something like this really does make ALL the difference
### Insights just keep coming
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/insights-keep-coming/
Last updated: 2026-09-07T20:21:14.000Z
There’s this idea we have—it’s a variation on the *‘*[*I’ll be happy when…*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)*’* story—that there’s some sort of finish line to cross, when it comes to spiritual growth.
That there’s something we’re not seeing, or getting, and then when we *do*, we’ll have crossed that finish line and [**Everything Will Be Ok**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/everything-should-be-ok-now/)**™**.
LOL.
But, years after it looked like I’d crossed one such [finish line](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finish-lines/), I’m still constantly amazed by:
**a)** my own dumb-assery
**b)** how much more there is to see… all the time!
I don’t think it ever really stops.
But I also don’t think there’s anything to achieve or attain here. It’s more of a gradual *getting-comfortable-with-this-being-human* malarkey that we’ve all had foisted upon us. A sort of *being-ok-with-it-looking-like-we’re-not-ok* situation.
Maybe it’s more of a *staying-open-to-being-wrong*, however ‘far we’ve come’?
(I remember, when I appeared on Becca Gardner’s [*The Thought Trap*](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-thought-trap/id1801723772?ref=gilespcroft.com), we had a particularly funny moment where we were joking about how—by definition—because of the nature of thought, all of us are ‘wrong’ all of the time!! 😂)
And so when you look at **a)** and **b)** above, and reflect on how that shows up for you, you’ll see that really, they’re both exactly the same thing.
**One, not two.**
‘This’, not ‘This *and* That’.
They are/it is an inevitable part of being human (we’d be cyborgs, without this constant cycle of dumb-assery/insight going on!) and maybe ‘[the journey](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/)’ is simply to see that more clearly, as time goes by?
(I don’t know. Don’t ask me. I’m wrong all of the time, remember?! 🤷🏻♂️😆)
Anyway, I could write a book full of examples from my **a)** list, but I’ll spare you that today and instead relate a little something from the **b)** list.
---
Speaking with a client, about something they’d seen from their *own* b) list, I heard myself trotting out—again—the way that it related to the mind’s **two** greatest hits:
🧠
****1.** Trying to predict the future
****2.** Predicting how we’re going **feel*, in that made-up future
…and it suddenly hit me, after all these years of waving that coin around; something I’d *never* seen before!
**1.** and **2.** are ***also*** exactly the same thing!!
It’s that Thought/Feeling connection in a different disguise. Two sides of the same coin.
**One, not two.**
It all, always comes back to One!
💟
Giles
p.s. Ok, Zen-master, it all always comes back to Zero, but that’s another story for anything day… maybe a [Sunday Spiritual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/)!
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Have a listen 🎧
[Ep10:- A Doctor With a Difference (Special Guest Dr Giles P Croft) : The Thought TrapPodcast Episode · The Missing Peace Presents : The Thought Trap · 18/06/2025 · 39mApple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ep10-a-doctor-with-a-difference-special-guest-dr/id1801723772?i=1000713389716&ref=gilespcroft.com)
This was full of fun and laughter and insight. Becca's brilliant! 🤩
### What's your ‘single story’?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/whats-your-single-story/
Last updated: 2026-02-20T12:35:28.000Z
I’ve been reading my RSS feed and going down some rabbit holes online. Specifically on the topic of ‘single stories’.
These are essentially stereotypes *(Etymology: ‘solid’ + ‘impression’)* about a group of people, usually those-other-people-over-there, that we don’t really understand, and they’re kept alive by stories, that are never questioned, thereby erasing nuance. They then become self-perpetuating.
There’s a famous TED Talk you can watch from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, called [*The Danger of a Single Story*](https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda%5Fngozi%5Fadichie%5Fthe%5Fdanger%5Fof%5Fa%5Fsingle%5Fstory?ref=gilespcroft.com) where she talks about attitudes towards her, as an African.
And then her own biases she noticed, upon visiting Mexico.
It’s a fascinating topic and it got me thinking that it’s not just something that happens on a societal level, it happens for us, individually, too.
We all have ‘single stories’ about our selves, kept alive by the mind’s stories, that go unquestioned, erasing nuance and ultimately becoming self-perpetuating.
You can spot them a mile off. They sound a bit like this:
- *“Oh that’s the way I am”*
- *“I’m the kind of person who…”*
- *“Oh, I don’t do well with…”*
- *“I’m just not good with…”*
- *“I’ve always been like this.”*
They tumble out of our mouths all the time, but they’re just as lazy, inaccurate, limiting and erasing-of-nuance as the wider nation-based stereotypes we’re all guilty of sliding into now and then.
They’re not true.
They’re just intermittent patterns of behaviour the mind observes, notes down, reinforces and solidifies into A THING… all without us noticing.
So why not begin this week with a commitment to catch yourself when you hear a ‘single story’ about your self tripping off your tongue.
You’re bigger, better—and more nuanced!—than that.
💟
Giles
### Related
[The danger of a single storyOur lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice -- and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding.TEDChimamanda Ngozi Adichie](https://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda%5Fngozi%5Fadichie%5Fthe%5Fdanger%5Fof%5Fa%5Fsingle%5Fstory?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Watch the TED talk
### Not answering your questions
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-answering-your-questions/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T21:30:25.000Z
I recently ran an event, where I invited questions beforehand.
Then during the event, as part of exploring the topic at hand, I addressed these questions.
So far, so good.
But then when I got in touch with attendees afterwards, to check in with how they were getting on and to ask them if their question had been answered, they all gave roughly the same feedback. They pretty much all said:
> *“Not really Giles, no. But it doesn’t matter.”*
Oop.
🫢
## **So, hang on, what’s going on there…?**
Well, I can tell you what’s *not* going on.
It’s not me giving the classic politician’s ‘non-answer’ where I have an agenda that I will bend your question to.
(As an aside, I actually got quite good at doing that sort of thing when I held a semi-governmental position, years ago, and we definitely had an agenda to promote. Every question or objection I received, I managed to twist around to the ‘party line’ … and thank god those days are over, is all I can say!!)
No, this is part and parcel of looking at life from an Innate Health perspective. It’s like that Zen saying:
> *“In Zen, we don’t find the answers, we lose the questions.”*
Sounds a bit obtuse, but is really very straightforward.
You see, questions (which are [problems](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-solve-any-problem/)) are not tackled in the way the questioner expects them to be.
Because so often, the foundations on which the problem/question is created, don’t actually hold water.
Innocently enough, they’re not based on sound principles. In fact, that’s the whole reason the problem has stuck around and the questioner has felt compelled to seek help for it.
They’re trying to tackle it at face value. On its own terms.
## **Real world examples**
It’s like the sorts of questions and ‘solutions’ doctors used to come up with to infectious diseases, before they discovered that germs were actually a thing. You know, stuff like:
- blood letting
- carrying around posies
- emetics and laxatives
- even exorcisms.
🦠
Not based on sound principles.
Or the [(mis)calculations of astronomers](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-isnt-there-more-research/#an-illustration), when we innocently, understandably, thought that the sun rotated around the earth. (Still looks like it does, to this day!)
🌅
But when we realise, insightfully, the true nature of the universal principles at play (e.g. germs/a solar-centric system)—in other words, how reality *actually* works—then the questions/problems just kind of go away.
They don’t even make sense any more.
## **Back to my event attendees…**
Which is why one person replied:
> *“Does it matter that my question doesn’t appear totally sorted? It doesn’t to me. I am just grateful for a reminder and the insight I gained from attending.”*
And another said:
> *“You manage to point in directions I have never seen before – like opening doors you didn’t even know existed. I think it was amazing – thank you for that!”*
And a third said:
> *“Hey Giles, wow, I mean,* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣*”*
(This kind of relieved laughter happens a lot in client sessions too.)
---
I know I’ve shared this before, but, for me, this whole shebang is encapsulated beautifully in that quote most often attributed to Einstein:
> ***“The problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them.”***
I used to think that meant ‘think harder’ or ‘think better’ but having spent years pouring fuel on the fire in that way, I’m not so sure I do any more.
Swap out ‘level of thinking’ in that quote for ‘level of consciousness’ or even just ‘from the same perspective’ and it makes a lot more sense.
Unlike the original questions.
😉
So if you’ve got something going on for you at the moment that you’d like to get help with, and you’re open to seeing it from a completely different perspective in order to solve it, then get in touch:
[Apply for coaching](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
💟
Giles
### Related
[Simple answers to complex problemsComplex is intellect. Solutions are simple. 🙂The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/simple-answers-to-complex-problems/)
Putting it into practice.
### The ONE key that unlocks everything.
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-key/
Last updated: 2025-11-22T00:29:02.000Z
Evidence of this collective, species-wide amnesia—for who we really are, and how we experience the world—is absolutely everywhere.
Including our local car park.
It’s a big one, but it’s the only free one in town, so on a busy day it fills to capacity, and you’re lucky to get a space.
The other morning, my wife and I headed in together, arriving just as the last few spaces were slipping away.
And there it was: the evidence.
Someone had parked *so* hastily and *so* sloppily that the front corner of their vehicle was a good foot into the adjacent space, thereby effectively ruling out anyone else parking there.
For a while there, I think you could describe my mood as “incandescent.”
The Giles Ego Construct 📦 could imagine someone (me, for instance) in a hurry for an appointment in town, desperate to find a space, seeing one off in the distance—a glimmer of hope; serendipity striking!—only to have those hopes dashed utterly by the thoughtless, self-ish behaviour of another.
🤬
I mean, I say “thoughtless” but it’s not, really, is it? It’s a head FULL of thought! I have no idea of the *details* of what was going on for that person in their life, right there and then, as they were parking ([it doesn't really matter](https://youtu.be/9uMGN1ayqBc?ref=gilespcroft.com)) but I know for sure what the **root cause** of it was: identification with the fictional narrative of thought, playing through their mind.
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind.
They were up in their heads about *something*… something that separated them from the inter-connected reality of the world and their present moment experience of those two, bold, white lines on the floor – what they meant; and what they implicitly signed up for when entering the car park.
🤨
So it wasn’t really the *person* who parked so badly that I was angry about, it was the wider issue – this collective amnesia for who we really are and how we experience the world. The cause of it all!
(This is my life.)
Because that kind of “thoughtless” crap is way less likely when we’re present and correct.
---
A little later, this same point—that this ONE misunderstanding lies at the root of ALL our ills—was hammered home as I listened to Mavis Karn’s book: *“*[*It’s That Simple: A User’s Manual For Human Beings*](https://amzn.to/3LZr0Af?ref=gilespcroft.com)*”*
Near the beginning of it, she relates the story of someone who got a temporary summer job as a janitor; a position that came with the biggest bunch of keys you’ve ever seen in your life – one for every room in the building! As a newbie, it therefore took them *forever* to find which key fit which door.
Until the regular staff took pity:
> *“Several days later, the more experienced men let me in on the joke. They took back the really cool-looking but incredibly complicated ring of keys and gave me one ‘master key’ that opened all the rooms.*
>
> *That was what it was like for me to learn about the User’s Manual* \[i.e. the Innate Health understanding\] *– *it was the one simple key to unlocking everything!”**
---
This is why I’m so bullish on the Innate Health understanding – because *everything* makes sense and *everything* gets easier, once you’ve seen that these are **Principles** (i.e. just the way it works) at play for everyone, all the time, even when it doesn’t look that way.
🔑
****Key Message**: PRINCIPLES are…
1\. Constant
2\. Explanatory
3\. Predictive
I’ve seen the miracles that occur for people, looking in this direction, which is why I show up each day, to encourage you to do the same.
💟
Giles
p.s. Do I always park perfectly? No, of course not. But I do my best, and when I don’t, I know the reason why!
p.p.s. Ironically, when I came back to take a picture, although the original badly-parked car was still there, one of those cheeky little pint-sized Fiats had parked next to them in a display of *pure perfection*… which just goes to show that the Giles Ego Construct 📦 knows ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!
😆
### Getting there in your own sweet time
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/getting-there-in-your-own-sweet-time/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T18:45:40.000Z
It might be the weather, it might be the fact we got a relatively early night, it might simply be advancing age… but we both woke up at 5.30am.
(The fact is… we’ll never know – something that the mind *hates* the notion of. Let go of *that* particular need—the need to know—and you, my friend, are winning at life. Here endeth the lesson 😆)
---
Anyway, we’re both up and about before *Croftus minimus* (who, naturally, *didn’t* have an early night, because does she ever?!) and she's a bit disgruntled when she finds us downstairs in the kitchen, already beavering away.
> *“But I wanted a cuddle in bed.”*
Mum—needing little excuse to be horizontal, especially with her mussy-haired little morning Chica—agrees to go back upstairs.
Dad—slap bang in the creative flow of things at the kitchen table—declines.
> *“But I wanted a family cuddle! Dad, too!”*
I sigh (which is not well received).
> *“Ok, two minutes. I’m right in the middle of stuff here.”*
(Which is received even *less* well.)
> *“Oh forget it. I didn’t want a cuddle anyway. You guys are the *worst!*”*
😤
And off she stomps.
## What just happened here?
It's two Thought Systems 📦 with their own agendas.
Two minds creating stories of how ‘reality’ *should* be (🚩). And then having their expectations not being met.
**Hers:** Family cuddle, first thing in the morning. *Dammit, it’s not happening!*
**Mine:** Not wanting to be interrupted and have the effort of getting up early and getting on it with work, reversed. *Dammit, it’s not happening!*
Who’s is right? Who’s is true?
🛑
NEITHER
**W E L C O M E**
**T O**
**L I F E.**
But *seeing* this is helpful. *Knowing* how it works; what’s going on. It means you can work *with* it, instead fighting it and making things worse.
So, in this particular situation, I don’t try and change anything, or placate or manage experiences.
I get on. Right now it makes sense to get on.
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us.
And then 10 minutes later, having reached a good place to stop, it makes sense to go upstairs.
I find *Croftuses medius* and *minimus* lolling around in each others’ arms, and, fully clothed, I slide in and join the family love-in.
🧑🧑🧒 ❤️
## It's not just cuddles though, is it?
It’s not just this situation, it’s everything.
When the mind is faced with ‘what is’, I’d say the vast majority of the time, it *doesn’t* get what it wants.
It doesn’t like that, and we feel it.
We feel that tension.
Knowing where that feeling’s coming from—ego's expectations not being met; *not* the situation!—means we don’t have to keep going on fruitless quests to try and massage situations into a way that keep it happy.
(That way madness lies.)
So we get shook up, and we settle. In our own sweet time.
➤ My daughter got over hers quickly enough to hop straight back into bed with her mum – no Dad required.
➤ I got over mine enough to pause activities, and go and join them – work schedule be damned.
There are no rules as to how long this process takes. We might hang on to the thinking and the hurt that goes along with it, or we might drop it like a hot potato.
Again, we’ll do what makes sense, from where we’re at in that moment.
It’s all ok.
---
It reminds me a bit of that definition of ‘Resilience’ that I like to trot out from time to time:
🔑
****Key Message**: RESILIENCE is our inbuilt capacity to fall out of our thinking and back onto the NOW.
(Did you see the word ‘inbuilt’ there?)
😉
Giles
### Related
[The tyranny of expectationExamining the source of my malcontent, during a period of illness 🤧The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-tyranny-of-expectation/)
### Looking forward
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-forward/
Last updated: 2025-12-07T16:13:46.000Z
‘Looking forward’– it’s no bad thing.
In fact, as humans I think we’re probably set up to have some future stuff to be pulled towards. Otherwise goals wouldn’t be a thing, would they?
So I made the decision to cook curry—a new one!—and all of a sudden I’ve noticed, I have a real sense of purpose; of drive.
I’m excited! I know that I’ll be cooking curry in a few days time.
I’m **looking forward** to it.
#### What this means:
- There’s a process that will occur. That’s fun, for a start: Planning. Maybe watching old episodes of a Rick Stein TV series, to do some research. Shopping for ingredients.
- Maybe my daughter will get involved.
- How I’ll cook it, which pan it will go best in; hob, or oven?
- Even if it turns out to be rubbish, I’ll still get to go through this process of cooking curry. (It usually turns out great.)
- I know I’m stocking back up the freezer, for future effort-free curries.
All these things, just off the top of my head, here and now.
#### What it’s not
- Attaching to an outcome (I’m curious to see if it turns out rubbish, and if so, how can I make it better)?
- Doing it all the time so it becomes routine (you can have too much of a ‘good thing’)
- Turning it into a ‘how to’ feel good (classic mind).
But there’s something here, isn’t there? About working with the mind and its tendency to ‘look forward.’
It’s like giving the mind a project to tick away with on the back burner, so it’s not engaged in less salubrious activities.
Reminds me of a bit from one of Steve Chandler’s books, where he says:
> “People without a project worry a lot. Worry becomes the project. The brain wants to DO SOMETHING. So, without a project, it worries.”
Got me a project.
Curry.
😋
Giles
### Your next read
[Finish linesThe mind imperceptibly places finish lines everywhere… and if we want peace, we have to be wise to it. 🏁The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/finish-lines/)
When goals go bad.
### Apertures
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/
Last updated: 2026-01-30T15:32:42.000Z
Here’s a metaphor I find really helpful, as I observe my mood fluctuating, all day long.
**APERTURES.**
For those of you old enough to remember how a real camera works… there’s an aperture inside, that lets more, or less light through, depending on how open or closed it is.
(For the digital kids, this is primarily the ‘exposure’ setting. Back in the day, it was really easy to screw up an entire roll of film by either having your aperture too closed, leading to under-exposed photos, or too open, over-exposing the whole lot. And you never knew, until you got them back from the printers! Honestly, we have it so easy now 🙄👴🏻)
Anyway, here’s a visual representation of APERTURES, as it pertains to your experience of life.
Ooh, look: ‘Me’ is just a thought! 😯
And before we take a look at this metaphorical diagram, I want to drop in a [quote from Alan Watts](https://akirathedon.bandcamp.com/track/an-aperture?ref=gilespcroft.com), to set the context a bit. He said:
> *“Every one of us is an aperture, through which the whole cosmos looks out.”*
So instead of using my descriptor—LIFE—he's saying “the whole cosmos,” which is pretty much the same thing, isn't it?
We're both talking about the ineffable. The *source* of our experience. The energy that delivers the sorts of things you see in the bottom picture: creativity, love, connection, good ideas, intuitive nudges, possibility, perspective.
None of these things come *from* the mind, or ego. (More on this, below.)
---
And so the wider our ‘aperture’ is (i.e. the more present we are, in any given moment), the more of all the good stuff—delivered free of charge, by LIFE—gets through.
And the more closed down our ‘aperture’ is (i.e. the more our attention is on ego, blabbering away in our heads), the *less* of the good stuff we experience, and the more we experience all the things *obstructing* LIFE energy, instead.
I made this diagram for a client years ago, so the contents of the f/8.0 closed-aperture version are how it looked for them. You’ll have your own, and the details aren’t important (they’re all thought-created; products of a mind, talking to itself).
What’s important for me are these two observations:
1. The experience of LIFE (the f/1.4 open-aperture version) is universal. This is what we all get, when our (individual/unimportant) mental analysis falls away. LIFE always comes *through* us—so it has our ‘flavour’ or unique aperture-shape—but the *source* is the same: impersonal, universal life energy (*‘The Allness’* as I've heard [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) call it, in old audio recordings).
2. The two states *feel* different, in a way that’s instantly recognisable: closed-aperture feels tight, revved up and stressed, whereas open-aperture feels relaxed, calm & resourceful.
Which is why one of my Key Messages from the [IMPLICATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/#:~:text=03%20IMPLICATIONS,-Embodying%20the%20Innate) module of my [RECONNECT course](https://www.gilespcroft.com/reconnect/) is this:
🔑
****Key Message**: FEELINGS are the best—and only—guide we need
The feeling you're in lets you know the state of your aperture, moment to moment – it's the human operating system's built-in alarm system that lets you know when you're off course, and attached to your egoic thinking.
One to remember, next time you’re feeling tight, revved up and stressed out: LIFE awaits – relax your aperture and let it through!
💟
Giles
p.s. I get a very real sense of this when I'm writing. If I'm aperture-open, then what needs to be said just flows through me, onto the page. And when I'm caught up in the many, varied forms of insecurity the Giles Ego Construct 📦 has been practicing its entire life (i.e. aperture-closed), then I'll find myself second-guessing, procrastinating and feeling stuck.
p.p.s. The observant among you will notice that how-open-or-closed-your-aperture-is-at-any-given-moment is exactly the same as which-floor-of-the-[Great Glass-Consciousness-Elevator](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)\-you're-currently-at. (Because there's really only this one thing going on!) ↓
[Thought, masquerading as presenceThe one about the Great Glass Consciousness Elevator ↕️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/)
### Who's your boss?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-your-boss/
Last updated: 2026-02-03T15:51:45.000Z
The other week, while the child was at school, me and my wife decided—completely on a whim—to ditch work and go for [coffee and pastries](https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant%5FReview-g186433-d27474022-Reviews-The%5FDugout%5FCafebar-Abergavenny%5FMonmouthshire%5FSouth%5FWales%5FWales.html?ref=gilespcroft.com) in town.
This was quite the event (it’s not the sort of thing we generally do – look, I even put on a nice shirt and everything!) and as we were sat there, doing something completely different in nice surroundings, noshing on the most delicious *pain au raisin* I have *ever* eaten, I observed…
> “I’m so grateful neither of us has a boss, and that we can just down tools and do this sort of thing. Living the dream, baby!”
My wife agreed, we both nodded, felt smug together for about 5 seconds and then both started laughing, simultaneously, at the ridiculousness of what I’d just said.
*‘No boss’* \- are you kidding me?!?!
We both run our own businesses, and so the ‘boss’ is us.
We’re the boss.
We both put in waaaay more hours than we ever used to when we had job-jobs and ‘the boss’ is never satisfied.
😂
But this is helpful, isn’t it, because it helps to reveal who the true ‘boss’ is, in these situations.
It’s easy to see, that in both my wife’s and my case that:
📦
Our minds are ‘the boss’.
*(The clue is even in the title: ‘self’-employed* 😂*)*
There’s no actual boss here, determining what should be done – we’re making it up as we go along!
It’s the mind that comes up with any rules that we might feel like we have to follow, and in terms of the experience we’re having, we are either just cracking on with things happily enough (in spite of all of the things that need doing), or we’re being tormented by the mind’s endless demands.
There’s always more to be done on a business you’re running yourself, so the need to be in tune with this simple fact, is crucial.
---
Now, you may have a job-job, and you may have a boss, but here’s the curious thing about the inside-out nature of experience:
😲
****You don’t get to experience your boss.**
It’s slightly less easy to see, but just like me and my wife, you only get to experience the mind, and what it says about work and your boss: **100% of your felt experience comes from within!**
(Which explains why some days other people really bother you, and other days, those same people don’t.)
For you too, when it comes to the actual experience you’re having, the only ‘boss’ you have to worry about, is the mind.
And I can heartily recommend not worrying about that.
💟
Giles
p.s. Doesn’t seem right, does it, when written down? Especially if your boss is an a\*\*\*. But this is the beauty of the inside-out understanding – it gives us a different perspective on *everything.*
### Your next reads
[Inside-OutThat one time I shut my mouth and life delivered the answers. 🤐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/)
The nuts and bolts of the inside-out understanding, brought to life in a quiet country lane
[Fast actions, urgent feelingOne simple thing to keep you calm under pressure 😎The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/fast-actions-urgent-feeling/)
That one time that for a moment there, it looked like the schedule was ‘my boss’ 🙄
### Simple answers to complex problems
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/simple-answers-to-complex-problems/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T21:32:26.000Z
There’s a wonderful [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) quote that goes like this:
> “The solution to outwardly complex problems created by misguided thought will not arise from complicated analytical theory, but will emerge as an insight wrapped in a blanket of simplicity.”
😍
For me, this is the exact same thing as that quote that gets attributed to Einstein:
> “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”
(I used to interpret that as “you’ve got to think harder!!!” … until I came across the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com), and then it all made sense.)
---
I saw this in action with a client once, where the engineering team were grinding their gears over a solution to a design problem on a custom bike—brainstorming, workshopping, sketching, discussing—and getting nowhere.
They went out for a ride, ostensibly to “clear their heads” and of course, while they were out riding, the very simple answer became obvious to them.
💡
It’s because solutions come from a different place from problems.
Problems are mind-created, whereas solutions are life-created.
Just knowing this, and having the confidence to step back from trying to use process/analytical thinking for all the situations we face… is profoundly liberating!
---
The answer isn’t additive—matching the mind’s complexity by putting more into the equation—it’s subtractive: removing all the complexity to find the answer.
Getting out from under the noise, to where the solutions actually *are*.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Putting problems on the ‘back burner’What to do when you don’t have the solution to a problem, right now 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-problems-on-the-back-burner/)
### Where's your tongue at?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/wheres-your-tongue-at/
Last updated: 2026-01-28T14:32:23.000Z
Oh man, I have tried so hard to not write this Daily Reminder, but I get reminded of the subject myself every single day, sometimes twice a day (if I manage to squeeze in a siesta), so you’re just going to have to bear with me on this one. It’s getting written. Now.
This is a little peek inside the weird and wonderful world of the G.E.C. (the Giles Ego Construct 📦)
But I’m really hoping you find it helpful. Because it’s the weekend and it’s the holidays and who doesn’t love sleep, eh?
😴
It’s a very silly little thing I’ve noticed, and it’s to do with getting to sleep easily, so here goes.
---
I’ve written before *(*[*Time to sleep, mind*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/time-to-sleep-mind/)*)* , that getting to sleep is like a two-step process:
1. Understand that—obvious physiological reasons aside—it’s distraction by the mind that’s keeping you awake
2. Let the mind know it’s ok to STFU now, cos it’s sleepy-time.
And hey presto, you’re out. 💤
**Step 1** is important. You kind of have to be in no doubt whatsoever that 100% of your felt experience of life—even your physiology!—is being brought alive in consciousness by the Principle of Thought.
Until you’re on board with that, it won’t make sense to do **Step 2**; it’ll seem like there’s something else going on, and the mind loves a loophole.
(If you’re not there yet, you really should come on the [RECONNECT course](https://gilespcroft.com/reconnect/?ref=gilespcroft.com) – I only run it once a year for the public, and everyone who does it, sleeps better!)
---
And then **Step 2** is really a case of noticing.
Because you can be all over the inside-out understanding—you could share it for a living, as I do!—and simply *not notice* that you’re thinking up an insomniac storm.
As in, it will totally pass you by (as it does me, from time to time) and you’ll be lying there wondering what the hell’s wrong with you and why you can’t sleep?!
😖
Cos there are a bazillion things that have happened during the day. And there are another bazillion things that will need doing when you wake up, and the mind will very naturally want to address *all* of that.
🛠️
The mind **wants* to process – that's its job!
Thing is, it can do that (does a really good job, too) *while* you’re asleep!!
Indeed, that’s one of the main reasons you’re going to sleep in the first place. It doesn’t need to keep you awake for that.
🤦🏻♂️
So, you have to spot it, and you have to give it permission to shut up.
And I’ve noticed—from going to sleep, a lot—that my tongue holds the key.
😝
---
See, I’ve observed a really solid correlation: when my mind is active, for whatever reason, I find my tongue is pretty much always plastered to the roof of my mouth.
It’s really consistent. I don’t want to go creating any made up rules or anything here, but for the G.E.C. 📦 it’s like [Processing Mode](https://youtu.be/jSeyqGlXsGo?ref=gilespcroft.com) is associated with a degree of muscle tone in my tongue.
And so I’ve kind of got into the habit—when I know I’m ready for sleep (which for me is almost the very second I lie down!)—of just checking out where my tongue’s at.
99 times out of 100 I’ll find it stuck on the roof of my mouth.
So all I do is I relax it. Let it flop into waving around, unsupported in the middle of my mouth.
(Guys, I did warn you!! 😆)
It’s brilliant, because this is like a super-easy way to do **Step 2**: I’ve associated a relaxed tongue with giving the mind permission to stop all that processing now, and let me go to sleep.
---
Does this mean relaxed tongue = immediate free-flow/sleep mode?
It doesn’t mean anything. Stop that! 🤨
It’s just a pattern I’ve noticed in my behaviour that I’m leveraging to my advantage, having understood the universal principles that govern our experience, moment to moment.
For me, it works.
And if I *don’t* get to sleep straight away, I’ll check in again with where my tongue’s at the next time I remember, lying there, and what do I find? Oh yeah, it’s glued back up on the roof of my mouth again!
😂
You could find something that works for you.
My wife relaxes her shoulders, her jaw and—weirdly, to me—her eyeballs, and that’s very much a W.E.C. (Wife Ego Construct 📦) thing.
So anyway, there you go.
[YMMV](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=what+does+ymmv+mean%3F&ref=gilespcroft.com), but next time you’re heading for slumber-land, just try it: check in with where your tongue’s at… or find your own way to let the R.E.C. (Reader Ego Construct 📦) know that it’s ok to settle down now; its hyper-activity is officially surplus to requirements.
It’s time for sleep.
🥱
Giles
### Related
[Time to sleep, mindA quick sleep tip that has changed my life for the better 🛌The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/time-to-sleep-mind/)
### In celebration of being wrong
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong/
Last updated: 2026-08-18T22:07:57.000Z
Here's Richard Carlson, keeping it real with one of the most basic, fundamental rules of living a happy life:
> *“If you want to be a more peaceful person, you must understand that being right is almost never more important than allowing yourself to be happy.”*
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Indeed, since hearing this from him, many years ago, this simple aphorism has stuck with me to such an extent, that I’ve learned to really question things whenever I feel cross about something.
Because being cross is synonymous with ‘being right’ and I know that ‘being right’ is a barrier to happiness.
It works most of the time… except for when I'm so righteously angry, I don’t spot it.
Like when I bought a fancy beard trimmer online. I really loved using it, but it arrived with a fault: it wouldn’t charge properly. Plug in the supplied USB-C cable and… nada.
🤷🏻♂️😕
Still, it was brand new and held its charge really well, so for a couple of months I was using it happily… but watching the battery percentage dwindling slowly, with a growing sense of loss.
I reached out to the company I bought it from to ask for advice (or a replacement), and… nada. No response, dammit.
🤨
As its death day got closer and closer, I got increasingly hacked off. I looked online at reviews, to see if others had experienced the same shoddy workmanship… nope, just me.
I decided to do my civic duty and left a regretfully scathing review online: this shaver is absolutely fantastic but I got a duff one that won’t charge, and the company are useless, refusing to respond to requests for help – buyer beware!
😡
At something like 10%, with a heavy heart, still well within the window, I initiated a return online, dragged the box back down out of the loft (I have learned from previous mistakes) and started packing it up, to go back.
Now I had to decide – was I going to go with the same one and risk another faulty item, or would I chance it with a different brand, running the risk of getting a poor second-best. Aaaaargh, I couldn’t decide!! I loved it so much and all this trouble over some stupid little fault and an uncaring, faceless company. B@stards!!!
🤬
As I angrily tried to figure out how it all went back in the box, a small folded piece of paper fell out onto the floor: the instructions. I picked them up and as a last resort, scanned them for anything I may have missed – maybe stand-on-one-leg-and-recite-this-incantation to get it charging, that sort of thing.
I saw:
⚠️
****WARNING**: This device will not take charge from high-powered USB-C chargers. Maximum charging: 5V 15 W
😬🙊
Having a whole bunch of power-hungry devices and demanding only the very best, of course I have installed super-high wattage USB-C chargers throughout the house.
With a mounting sense of excitement (and guilt) I dug through boxes to find one of those crappy old plugs-with-a-USB-port that no one uses any more, stuck the cable straight in the bottom of it, plugged in the shaver and watched with immense relief as it sprang to life and started charging.
OH MY GOD I’D BEEN WRONG, ALL ALONG!!!!
🥳 🙌🏻 🎉 🙌🏻 🎊 🥳
I sprinted into the office, plonked myself at my computer and immediately deleted the bad review.
🤦🏻♂️
So, next time you feel yourself beginning to boil in the bag, remember Richard Carlson warning you that being right is the fastest ticket to losing your peace, remember me being a massive plonker and maybe ask yourself…
> *“Could I be wrong?”*
Because there’s every chance you are.
Have yourself a peaceful weekend!
😎
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[In celebration of being wrong (again)!You’re dressing wrong, when you’re out on your bike. Embrace it. 😅The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong-again/)
The errors continue 🤦🏻♂️
### Sticky labels
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/sticky-labels/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T20:00:36.000Z
Did you watch yesterday’s video?
It was called [*What to do in a panic attack*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-to-do-in-a-panic-attack/) and you may have been somewhat frustrated to learn that my ‘advice’ amounted to something along the lines of:
> Do nothing
😑
Oh man, sometimes working with me as a coach is *proper* exasperating…
…for a mind, ha ha! 😉
So here you go. To make up for it, today I’m going to give you some…
*\[drum roll please\]* 🥁
**…practical advice!!**
😮
## A typical scenario
Just the other day I was working with a client who was indeed a touch exasperated with it all (and who gave me permission to relate this tale).
She’s a doctor, there was a clinical decision, it wasn’t an easy one and after it had been made and the patient sent home, the problems started.
*Was it the right one? What if they got worse? Could things have been done differently?*
You know, all that sort of stuff.
Now, she knew deep down that the best had been done, in this imperfect, messy world we inhabit. Although not straightforward, the patient had got what they needed and was coming back for review soon, so outside of the random health uncertainty we all walk around in, day in, day out, all was well.
But not for the mind. That wouldn’t let it lie. It kept going there. Multiple times during the day. Disrupting her sleep, too. Harassing her constantly. It was bad.
And every time it surfaced in consciousness, she felt a sense of dread. She wanted to know:
> *What the hell do I do when it’s like this, Giles?! Please don’t just say “nothing”!*
(She knows me well 😆)
## The devil’s in the details
I do love a challenge, and after a bit of questioning we established that one of the worst aspects of it was the litany of consequences the mind was coming back with, however fantastical she knew they were: dead patient, being ‘found out’ as negligent, being struck off.
You know, all that sort of stuff.
And it was clear to me then, what the problem was:
> *“It’s the *labels* that are holding it all in place. The detailed ones. Drop those and it’ll go away.”*
Huh?! How?
## Layers of labels
Whenever we’re in a situation—especially one like this—what we’re *most* aware of is all the detail; all those consequences. The bit in the future. The inevitable conclusion to this drama.
(According to the mind, natch 🙄)
But the mind has to do a *lot* of work before it gets there, because this is quite a complex kind of label. It’s applied a whole load of more simple labels, closer to home; layering them all on top of one another.
(It’s all happening at light speed of course, and we don’t notice.)
So for instance here in this story I can count four *layers* of labels already ⓵⓶⓷⓸:
What we actually *get*, there in the moment, is the sensation of the situation (i.e. unlabelled reality) >>
- ⓵ …which is “Bad” >>
- ⓶ … causing a feeling of “Dread” >>
- ⓷ … because it’s likely that decisions made were “A mistake”
- ⓸ … and that means we’re going to be “Struck off.”
And it’s only natural for us humans, with the way we’re put together, to focus on the story’s end; on label layer #⓸.
(We all know ⓸ is not the end to this story, don’t we? ⓹ is living in a van down by the river, ⓺ is being actually homeless, ⓻ is catching pneumonia and ⓼ is death 💀 But you catch my drift.)
It’s another example of the mind doing its hop-skip-and-jump thing.
⏭️
## Reeling it back in
But in these situations, you can use this knowledge to your advantage by applying the ONLY tool you have at your disposal:
👁️
****ATTENTION**
So if you dismiss the furthest (⓸ and ⓷) as very obvious, mind-created judgements or labels, you can simplify things a bit, and instead turn your **attention** to the step it had to go through, to get there (i.e. ⓶)
Get curious. Become a detective in your own experience. Slow down and start asking some questions about this Level ⓶ label.
🤔
Because, oh, would you look at that – something like “Dread” … that’s just a word, too, isn’t it? Another mind-label.
Ha! I can let go of that one, too.
What’s next? Well, let’s bring it even *closer* to home, by turning our attention to the step the mind had to go through, to get to Label Level ⓶ … ah, that would be “Bad” (i.e. ⓵)
Now then, could “Bad” also be a mind-created label?
What d’you reckon?
🤔
## The reality of THIS
Before you know it, you’re fully present to the sensations of NOW. To actual reality: THIS.
😑
****You’re safe. You’re being. You’re breathing.**
Of course the mind’s going to start up again, and it’s going to say things like:
- *“My chest feels tight”* (two labels… can be safely ignored)
- *“My heart is racing”* (another two labels, you can drop those, too)
- *“This isn’t helping”* (conceptual, better/worse, duality… more bloody labels!)
The more you see that it’s the ***labels*** that are holding the experience in place, the quicker these things pass.
Because there’s only ever **THIS**.
Presence is always and forever waiting for you, underneath all the labels.
And all it asks for, is your attention.
💟
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/ivrYW?ref=gilespcroft.com)
There's a *totally* different experience of anxiety to be had; one that is outside of everything you already know about it. An understanding of anxiety and its opposite—peace of mind—that requires no digging around in the past, no rituals & techniques and no more having to avoid stuff.
In the ****Anxiety Video Masterclass** we take a deep dive into that understanding; a process that will spark insights you've never had before and will change your relationship to anxiety **forever.*
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/ivrYW?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### What to do in a panic attack
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-to-do-in-a-panic-attack/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T20:01:11.000Z
This week’s [short video clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ3riI236HQ&ref=gilespcroft.com) is lifted from my [Video Masterclass on Anxiety](https://gilespcroft.link/anxiety?ref=gilespcroft.com).
It answers a question I’ve been asked a lot, over the years:
> **Giles, what do I *do* in a panic attack?**
(And in this case, more specifically, ‘*How can I use the 3 Principles understanding to minimise or avoid panic attacks altogether?’*)
Slow down.
Stop looking for fixes.
See the common sense in what I'm saying here:
It's not about **doing,* it's about **seeing.*
And that “Knowing – really, really, *really* knowing deeply, in your bones” … that comes from deepening your understanding of the 3 Principles and having the insights you need to have, to see the changes you want to see.
💟
Giles
### Your next read
[Sticky labelsHow to use the most powerful tool you have at your disposal, to get you out of a spiral 🌀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/sticky-labels/)
The super-practical follow-on article to this video.
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/ivrYW?ref=gilespcroft.com)
There's a *totally* different experience of anxiety to be had; one that is outside of everything you already know about it. An understanding of anxiety and its opposite—peace of mind—that requires no digging around in the past, no rituals & techniques and no more having to avoid stuff.
In the ****Anxiety Video Masterclass** we take a deep dive into that understanding; a process that will spark insights you've never had before and will change your relationship to anxiety **forever.*
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/ivrYW?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Pastime reset
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/pastime-reset/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T19:29:45.000Z
> *“I’m nervous.”*
This was me, yesterday, stood in the kitchen, speaking to my wife.
And what did it look like I was nervous ‘about’?
You’ll never guess…
Riding my bike!!!
😲
This is me who rides his bike most days. The mind-body that rode solo from Great Britain to Turkey and back. The racer, the tourer, the writer, the (one time) qualified cycling coach…
It didn’t make sense!!
🤷🏻♂️
But it does, really, when we look at how the mind deals with the data it’s presented with, moment to moment.
You see, I’d been ill—nothing fancy, just a lingering upper respiratory thing—and it was a full three weeks since I’d been anywhere near a bike.
And the mind—fickle, forgetful—had already lost its immediate frame of reference for what ‘going out on a long bike ride’ meant. Strange as it may sound, given all that experience mentioned above, it was lacking in data.
There had been a reset.
And we all know what minds do when they’re lacking in data.
**They make stuff up.**
*That* was the source of the nervous feeling I was experiencing.
---
To better understand this, it’s probably more informative to look at what the mind does when we’re doing something regularly; when it looks like it *does* know.
When we’re in a regular pattern of activity, it *thinks* it can predict what’s going to happen. It’s got lots of recent data to work with, and it therefore convinces itself that there’s nothing to worry about.
It is ‘secure’—the etymology of which comes from the latin: ‘*se’* \= without and ‘*cura’* \= care—and so we don’t experience anxiety. It doesn’t make up scary stories.
Does this mean it’s *correct* in its predictions of safety and comfort and everything’s-ok-nothing-to-worry-about-here-ma’am?
Hell no!!!
The number of times I’ve set out on a bike ride without a care in the world and things have quickly unravelled… they’re too many to count!
(If you don’t believe me I can provide you with contact details for my wife – she’ll put you straight.)
😂🤣
Because none of this has anything to do with cycling or any other pastime you might engage in, for that matter.
Oddly, we never get to experience those things directly.
⚠️
We only ever get to experience ****the mind’s activity** in response to the data it is presented with, moment to moment.
And that’s really good to know.
---
So if you have a special something that you like to do and it’s more than, ohh, let’s say three weeks since you’ve done it, don’t be surprised if it feels like a chore.
Don’t be surprised if ‘you’ (i.e. the mind) feel unsure and maybe even a little anxious.
Don’t be surprised if it tries to talk you out of it, just so it can keep on telling stories that keep ‘you’ (i.e. it) feeling safe.
What’s that quote?
> *The hardest thing about getting to the moon is the very first part: overcoming the earth’s gravitational pull.*
The mind’s stories can be *incredibly* compelling, but the more we see their essentially harmless, self-referential nature, the easier it is to break free from them.
And live our lives, doing the things we know we enjoy.
Here's what I was rewarded with, when I broke free, yesterday:
View from Llandyfalle Hill, nr. Brecon back to the central Beacons | Photo by Giles
💟
Giles
### NEW! 🔥
**🎧 Premium 🔖 Subscribers can now also** **listen to a calming, narrated version of this article:**
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### It's just going to go away
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T10:38:52.000Z
### **How do we change things?**
It’s such a conundrum, isn’t it?
When I work with people or they come on one of my courses, this ‘How?’ question underpins everything.
- How do I stop doing this, that or the other?
- How can I start doing something else?
- How do I stop feeling a particular way?
- How do I stop these patterns of thinking, or feeling or behaving?
- **HOW DO I CHANGE THIS?**
And the answer is so close to home, we don't see it. It's actually in the question itself!
Because we need to look more closely at the ‘I’ in each of those questions.
What is that? Where is it? What agency does it have?
Could it be the mind, creating an identity out of historical, conditioned data, and then pretending it's us?
🧐
It really looks like it’s on ‘us’ – that ‘we’ have to make these changes, doesn’t it? (I mean, that makes sense.)
But one of the first Key Messages from the [RECONNECT Course](https://gilespcroft.com/reconnect/?ref=gilespcroft.com) that I run is this:
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn’t require willpower, but INSIGHT.
---
You see, when a mind ‘pretends it’s you’ it also immediately takes on responsibility for the job of change.
’Cos if the mind is YOU and YOU need to change, then the MIND has to do the change, yeah?
And this is where we find ourselves spinning our wheels.
- ***Trying*** to stop doing this, that or the other
- ***Trying*** to start doing something else
- ***Trying*** to stop feeling a particular way
- ***Trying*** to stop patterns of thinking, or feeling or behaving
- ***TRYING*** TO CHANGE.
### **But what if…**
That *idea* of you—what the mind is *saying* is you—is not actually you, and in reality is not in charge of anything?
🤔
Well, then it would be off the hook. Then it doesn’t have to do anything.
How cool would that be?
*\[Whispers\]*
(Keep this between me and you, but it’s *only* when the mind gets out of the way with its incessant tinkering and trying and controlling, that change can actually happen. But shhhh 🤫 … it’ll get all twitchy if it knows we’re on to it.)
### **Minds don’t like this**
They like to think they’re in control. They simply cannot conceive of anything happening outside their sphere of influence, so when some smart-arse like me comes along and starts questioning their agency, they can get quite upset.
I’ve had people (minds) get pretty cross with me in the past, incensed that the answer to their problems could actually be:
✋
****DO NOTHING**
(I mean, as I type that, it just seems *wrong* – how the hell’s anything going to change if we do nothing?! 🤣)
But it’s not *really* ‘nothing’.
- It’s listening. It’s [staying open](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-staying-open/). It’s unlearning.
- It’s clearing away all the crap we’ve been conditioning to think our entire lives.
- It’s stepping out of our heads and back into life.
- It’s first [*seeing* the stories](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whats-underneath-the-stories/) that are invisibly running our lives, and then it’s getting free from them.
And when *that* happens, that thing that’s bugging you, that you’ve been trying to change all this time…?
**It’s just going to go away.**
😎
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Trying is lying“Do or do not. There is no try.” 🧘🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/)
All this TRYING. But “trying is lying” 😂 - let's explore this funny little saying together.
### “Coming out of it is the high”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/coming-out-of-it-is-the-high/
Last updated: 2026-04-17T12:37:10.000Z
Returning to my desk, after a bout of illness, I'm struck by the *difference* in how I feel.
It’s funny isn’t it, this experience we’re having. I’ve [spoken about it before](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/#why-does-this-happen), how it’s the *changes* we feel—the comparisons—rather than the absolutes (*everything’s* relative!) because that’s what’s foremost in my experience right now: **noticing the difference.**
---
And living my life vicariously through the music, lyrics and musings of my favourite band, I’m reminded of an interview with front man Dave Gahan, just around the time of their 1997 masterpiece, [*Ultra*](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLI6kLIhBBwmSQsxEjhEiX0mHVmP5%5FN9%5FS&ref=gilespcroft.com).
Freshly sober, he was being asked to reflect on the turmoil of the previous years; how it had informed their writing and their view on things. No longer a slave to the needle, how was he getting his kicks these days?
Ever the one for a bit of self-reflection, he replied:
> *“Sometimes I think when you’re in a place of sadness or pain, coming out of it is the high.”*
Yeah, man, I feel you.
---
You can’t have the ‘light’ without the ‘darkness’ – that’s the whole thing about being human! If it was all ‘light’ then you wouldn’t notice. It would just be this flat, featureless expanse of experience without any nuance whatsoever.
The more we see this, the more we start to appreciate that lovely quote from Richard Carlson, propounding the benefits of seeing life with clarity:
> *“You become more gracious with the lows, and more grateful for the highs.”*
Have yourself a lovely weekend.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Goggles
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/goggles/
Last updated: 2026-09-04T08:51:58.000Z
One of my all time favourite metaphors is the notion of **goggles**.
It’s something that comes up regularly with clients, because it’s something that’s happening to all of us, all the time, without exception.
(It’s another way of talking about our Thought System 📦 and the fact that we experience *everything* through its filter.)
But goggles is a really easy metaphor to get your head round, because we’ve all worn tinted glasses at some point, and we know what the world looks like through them.
If I go out riding on my bike, wearing red-tinted lenses, it’s a bit odd-looking at first, and then I get used to it. It becomes a ‘new normal’ and I just don’t notice it. At all. Even though I’m no longer seeing things clearly, but actually a bit red-tinted!
Crucially, everywhere I look and everything I look at is tinted this way. (Even though I no longer notice.)
And when I take them off, everything looks weird again. For a bit.
Here’s one of my favourite comic strips, Sufi Comics, expressing this in their usual beautiful imagery:
Sufi Comics: Comics for the Soul | [Link to original](https://www.suficomics.com/blog/with-new-perspective-comes-new-possibilities?ref=gilespcroft.com)
## **How does this relate to wellbeing?**
👓
****Our moods are just like goggles**
- If we’ve got our overwhelm goggles on, everywhere we look, there’ll be overwhelm. (You know this, because you’ve experienced it.)
- If we’ve got our angry goggles on… there’ll be a lot to be angry about. (They call it *‘Seeing red’* for a reason, you know?)
- If we’ve got our grateful goggles on… there’ll all of a sudden be a lot to be grateful for.
Because that is literally **the reality we are inhabiting** in that moment. It’s everything we know, and it all looks true!
(Remember – just like the red-tinted lenses when I’m out cycling.)
To paraphrase Stephen Covey:
> **We see the world not as it is, but as our goggles are.**
(He said it better, but you get what I mean.)
## **What to do about this?**
Ok, I’m going to give you a very short list of things ***not*** to do, and we’ll see if we can answer this question.
1. You don’t have to change what it is you’re looking at (i.e. your circumstances) to feel differently. (That wouldn’t work anyway, cos it’s the goggles making things look as they do, yeah?)
2. You don’t have to “try and see things differently” (which is the direction the [Sufi Comic strip](https://www.suficomics.com/blog/with-new-perspective-comes-new-possibilities?ref=gilespcroft.com) goes with it) in order to feel differently, because that’s just swapping one story for another. (It’s also impossible to do, had you noticed?)
I think that’s it. Is there anything else you might be tempted to try and do?
As far as I can tell, **all you need to do is be aware that this process is going on.**
It’s all thought-based, and it all falls away when we catch ourselves, stop rewarding it with attention and very naturally come back to reality/presence/the Now.
That’s when the goggles come off, we see things clearly and reconnect to life, wisdom, common sense, intuition, inspiration, enthusiasm – our [TRUE NATURE](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/).
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Behaviour stems from beliefThe fact it happens is obvious. The implications… less so 🤓The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/behaviour-stems-from-belief/)
The **next* thing to notice, as a result of the goggles we're wearing…
### Adolescence
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/adolescence/
Last updated: 2026-01-03T01:48:40.000Z
Laid up in bed with a stinker of a cold, I took the opportunity to join the rest of the English speaking world, and binge-watched [***Adolescence***](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk5OxqtpBR4&ref=gilespcroft.com).
⚠️
**Minor spoilers follow – if you want to watch it without any preconceptions whatsoever, stop reading now!*
---
It’s very good indeed, and the hype is well-deserved. It’s well-written, phenomenally well-acted (Stephen Graham can do no wrong in my eyes, but *everybody* else is brilliant, too) and the way each episode is [filmed in a single take](https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9gbxr6?ref=gilespcroft.com) is *completely* mind-blowing! 🤯
It’s also very sad, and I cried at the end, as I’m sure you did/will, too.
But I didn’t find it all that shocking. It all made total sense to me, as did the actions of each of the characters.
They were all playing out their scripts, figuratively and literally, as we all are (and that’s where the heartbreak came in – such loving parents, consciously going out of their way to overcome generational trauma… and yet this 😱💔)
**But here’s the thing.**
It would be very easy to watch it and conclude that to prevent these sorts of things from happening:
- We need to ban smartphones
- We need tighter regulation on social media
- Certain ‘bad actors’ in the ‘manosphere’ need de-platforming
- Parents need to be better educated about the inherent dangers
- Kids shouldn’t be left alone in their rooms with phones, unsupervised
…and loads of other measures along those lines.
Now, I actually think most of those are pretty good ideas, and I support them, but they’re not the *actual* problem
None of them are the *real* reason Jamie did what he did.
The *real* reason came out in **Episode 3** (which is surely winning an Emmy, and yes, I did say there would be ⚠️ minor spoilers so this is your last chance to stop reading now, if you haven’t watched it, but intend to)!!
Because the *real* issue was his relationship to thought; to the stories he was living in, inside his head.
The root of the problem was the fact that he genuinely *believed* he was ugly (a thought), and no good at anything (a thought), and a soldier in some fabricated battle of the sexes where he was always on the losing side (a thought).
Nobody had told him that underneath the weather of all that thinking, he was actually ok; innately healthy. Consequently he inhabited a reality where there was something wrong with him… and his behaviour followed suit.
## I'm Jamie. We all are.
Nobody told *me* that underneath the weather of all *my* thinking, I was ok, too; that I was innately healthy. Consequently, I used to believe there was something wrong with *me*, too… and *my* behaviour followed suit.
But because of my conditioning, experience, upbringing & genetic makeup, that belief manifested in hopping from one career (and relationship) to the next, never being happy (becoming increasingly *un-*happy, actually), and coping with alcohol.
‘Jamie’s’ manifested in a way that was contextual to *his* conditioning (which happened to include all the stuff he’d got sucked into on social media).
But it’s the exact same thing. The same cause and the same cure.
A simple case of mistaken identity: acting in a way to protect an image of ‘self’ that’s no more than a collection of ideas.
We all do it, all the time!
## So what’s the takeaway here?
It’s an important piece of television and if you still haven’t watched it, I recommend you do. (These ‘spoilers’ won’t actually ruin it for you, because the devil is in the detail and the acting and the filming and how all that resonates with your own Thought System – not the crude details of the plot, which is pretty straightforward.)
But I think any knee-jerk reaction to it could be a classic case of outside-in thinking: **Hey, if we fix the circumstances, then everything will be sorted and we’ll be ok!**
And it just doesn’t work like that.
**We’re *already* ok** – it’s the fact we get conned by Thought, suggesting otherwise, that gets us into difficulty!
---
If we want the best for our kids, for them to live happy, fulfilled lives, then as my colleague Terry Rubenstein is always saying:
> *Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.*
And that means not trying to remove all obstacles from their path, hoping that will make their lives just about possible to cope with; it means pointing them to their innate mental health & resilience, so that they can handle ***whatever*** life throws at them, with wisdom, common sense, creativity, love and understanding.
Here endeth the lesson!
😁
Giles
p.s. I’m not done – if you watch carefully, his sister Lisa is the character who best demonstrates these traits. In **Episode 4**, when asked if anyone is *“causing you trouble,”* she rolls her eyes and replies, *“Everyone causes me trouble – I’m Jamie’s sister!”* … but remains in touch with her common sense, doesn’t take any of it personally and maintains perspective on the wider situation.
p.p.s. If you’ve watched it, what did you make of it? What did I miss? Am I completely off base with these observations? Let me know in the comments, below! 👇🏻
### The tyranny of expectation
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-tyranny-of-expectation/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T18:09:45.000Z
If we’re being real here (which is kind of the whole point of the Daily Reminders), then I’d like to say I have something inspiring to share with you today, here at the beginning of the week… but I don’t.
In the top right corner of my screen it says it’s 06:36, and this will be with you in a matter of minutes.
I'm low-level ill, so I got an early night last night, wiped out, imagining I might wake up having a bit more juice in me, for writing… but I don’t. I spent a good deal of it tossing and turning, coughing and sneezing.
Drugs have been taken. Strong coffee is being drunk.
💊☕️
You know how it is with bad colds: first thing and last thing are the worst, and there’s usually a small window of a few hours, late morning, where you feel almost normal.
That window grows steadily as the days go by, but not in a predictable fashion – it’s two steps forward, one and a half steps back.
Anyway, in yesterday’s golden few hours (during which I should have been penning this Daily Reminder), I parcelled out my scant energy on making eggs, mending a puncture (since one day I assume I’ll ride my bike again 🤷🏻♂️), and learning how use GarageBand on the iPad… ostensibly to help the child express her creativity without technical hurdle, but mostly just revisiting my youth, by reconstructing a Depeche Mode song, layer by layer.
(*Behind the Wheel*, since you ask – no verse, chorus or bridge structure to fumble, no key changes, four-to-the-floor and a relentless bass line, see? I’m 2/3 of the way through and it took ages.)
We live and learn – I’ll get a few emails scheduled in my window, today.
---
Before I go, let’s have a quick check of what I’ve written and be clear about the source of any suffering I might be experiencing.
Because if I remember correctly, life itself doesn’t come pre-packaged with meaning, and then of course there's this:
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind.
So let’s see:
- *“…I’d like to say”* (expectation; not met)
- *“…imagining I might”* (expectation; not met)
- *“…predictable fashion”* (desire for; not being met)
- *“…assuming I’ll ride again”* (expectation; currently no evidence supporting)
- *“…it took ages”* (expectation; not met)
Being real, see?
Look out for these in your own day, today – these expectations are the source of any misery you might feel, not life; not your circumstances.
Anyway, it’s 06:59 and I need to hit send (expectation; *determined* to meet).
The coffee and the decongestants are beginning to kick in, and I wonder what the day ahead holds?
💟
Giles
### Related
[Being realGetting schooled by life. Again. To see why ‘feeling bad’ is such a gift. 💝The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/being-real/)
That other time I had one plan and life had another 🤷🏻♂️
### Email expectations
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/email-expectations/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T20:37:03.000Z
I’d spent ages crafting a really helpful follow-up email for a client that I’d promised them (all [part of the service](https://gilespcroft.com/individuals/?ref=gilespcroft.com) 😉) and something in it got collared by the spam filter.
Curses.
➤ So there was me expecting a response.
➤ And there was them expecting an email that never arrived.
[Separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/)!
---
When I don’t hear back from people, it used to feel like a really big deal. I’d think about it a lot.
The mind very naturally, very normally comes up with a list of potential reasons.
📄
The mind, being the mind, usually latches on to the most negative of these.
😞
The mind, doing its thing, then extrapolates from the story it’s created: what it means, what’s going to happen next, how we’ll feel, what that next thing then means, what they’re thinking etc.
😩
And it’s like a snowball, rolling down a hill. The sooner you catch it, the easier it is to stop.
If you wait, or don’t notice you’re doing it, and it gets bigger, watch out, ‘cos that thing's gonna squash you flat!
☠️
These days, if I catch my mind doing that, I just let it fizzle, on its own. There’s no actual information there at all, so it makes no sense to me to give it any attention whatsoever.
I hadn’t heard back and I wasn’t bothered, or disappointed or anything. It was just a thing that had happened. That we discovered together, the next time we spoke.
> *“Oh yes, there it is!”* they said, sifting through the other dreck, *“How odd!”*
---
And so we had a beautiful conversation about our understanding of [separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/), and how that unlocks the experience of nurturing more connected, productive, relationships, both at home and at work.
All from an email going to spam!
💌
Giles
### Related
[8+ billion separate realitiesThere’s some stuff you know, right? But what if you’re wrong? 😳The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/)
It's so simple, and yet such a game-changer.
### Mind names
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/mind-names/
Last updated: 2025-11-25T22:58:02.000Z
This is just too good – one morning, our daughter decided to give everyone’s mind a name.
What goes on in that child's head?! 😆
😂🤣
How this came about, I don’t know, but it was hilarious when it did.
I absolutely *love* that she called her own **“Jobert”** – it’s such a pedantic-sounding, jobsworth kind of idiot to have living in your head.
Mum didn’t fare so well – Rho chose **“Flizz-bobatt”** on her behalf, and I can’t say it’s really stuck.
Then came me.
> “Dad, what do you call yours?”
> *“Giles.”*
> “But you *are* Giles!”
> *“No I’m not… That’s just a… I’m actually… Oh good lord it’s all too complicated for this time of the morning – I’ve not even had coffee yet!* 🥴 *OK, here you go – when I write about mind-stuff, I refer to it as the G.E.C.* 📦 *or the “Giles Ego Construct.” Is that any good?*
…and this is what she produced: **“The great egotistical construct of camomile stew.”**
Ha ha ha ha ha!! 😂
---
### Anyway…
The good news is, this is already bearing fruit, because it’s starting to get her detached from her thinking – to stop identifying it as actually *being* her.
🙌🏻
All three of us have, on occasion, suggested that **Jobert’s** being particularly judgmental, or demanding, or pernickety… and it’s really put a different spin on things for her.
It must be said though, that currently she’s not great pals with **Jobert**—*“I *HATE* Jobert!!!”* has been heard bouncing off the walls on more than one occasion—so little by little I’ll be encouraging a more benign relationship, where **Jobert** is seen for the well-meaning, innocently over-protective dufus that he is.
Something to be understood and treated with empathy. (Because you can’t get started too early on ‘self’-compassion, can you?)
---
Of the three Croft family mind names, only **“Jobert”** has really stood the test of time, and is proving to be a useful metaphor, going forward.
I’m not sure I’ve really taken on board this “G.E.C. camomile-stew” name she’s given *my* mind.
At all!
Thankfully, this is not the first time she’s assigned me a new name.
Years ago, for reasons known only to her (that she found *very* funny indeed), she proudly produced the following for me, which I think is a far more suitable moniker for that noisy simpleton in my head:
“Jeff the toilet”!!!! 🤣
With love as always…
💟
Giles (aka **“Jeff the toilet”**)
p.s. Have you named yours? If so, what do you call it? (Let us know in the comments, below.) And more importantly, are you NICE to it???
### Part of evolution
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/part-of-evolution/
Last updated: 2026-03-03T16:04:39.000Z
A client and I were talking the other day about fear and the conditioned mind, and how there’s this common sense narrative (that I trot out all the time) about the conditioned, fear-based mind being a hangover from the cave-dwelling days.
Back then it made sense to live in fear, because physical survival depended on it (and physical survival is the ace card: the organism’s prime directive).
When food was scarce, predators freely roamed the earth and the neighbouring tribe wanted to boil your head, there were many ways a human’s life could end, so fear evolved.
😨
These days, wars and ethnic cleansing aside, life’s much more predictable, and death comes to us almost exclusively via non-communicable, non-violent causes, such as cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes etc. (You can click on the small image below to get to a larger version online, if you’re curious.)
[](https://ourworldindata.org/cdn-cgi/imagedelivery/qLq-8BTgXU8yG0N6HnOy8g/f96f15b2-9841-488b-1c5f-ff556bf2d700/w=1350?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Source: [Our World in Data – Causes of Death](https://ourworldindata.org/causes-of-death?ref=gilespcroft.com)
*(So yeah – eat your veg and quit smoking!)*
Anyway, given this fairly obvious evolution of our species’ physicality, my client’s question was an understandable one, about why our psychology is so slow to catch up:
> *“Why haven’t we evolved beyond this need to fear for our physical safety?”*
🤔
## Evolution vs. Revolution
I suppose firstly, evolution takes a very, very long time indeed, and generally speaking such changes don’t happen in such a “short” period of time.
But then I remembered a fascinating part of Jamie Smart’s book, [*Results*](https://amzn.to/3FstlAL?ref=gilespcroft.com)*,* where he talks about the nature of revolution, which is *fast* change.
To massively over-simplify, big societal shifts come along to solve an existing problem, inadvertently **creating new problems** in the process. And so it continues.
So, for example:
#### **The Agricultural Revolution**
- Stabilised food supply and allowed large groups to settle together, ***and…***
- Started us down the path of inequality and introduced communicable disease.
#### **The Industrial Revolution**
- Increased standards of living and production of goods for the growing population, ***and…***
- Began pollution of the atmosphere and facilitated warfare on an industrial scale.
#### **The Information Revolution**
- Improved communication and access to information for all, ***and…***
- Ironically bred disconnection, overwhelm, attention poverty, and chronic mental stress.
These sorts of behavioural changes happen much quicker (**Germ Theory**, for instance, took hold in a mere 50 years, *completely* changing the course of our species in that time), and I suppose where I’m going with this, is…
What’s to say that you—here on this email list—aren’t part of the next step in human evolution?
Right now?
🤔
## The Thought Revolution
Look at the world’s ills: as far as I can tell, they ALL stem from the [outside-in misunderstanding](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/) (i.e. the mistaken belief that our felt experience of life could come from anywhere other than Thought taking form, moment to moment).
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out//)
All of your weird behaviours, unwanted habits and occasionally thoughtless actions stem from this one, simple misunderstanding.
All of *my* weird behaviours, unwanted habits and occasionally thoughtless actions stem from this one, simple misunderstanding.
🤷🏻♂️
And everyone else’s, the world over. Leaders, politicians, decision-makers – we’re ALL walking around in this innocent misunderstanding… and seeing the consequences play out.
But things are changing.
*We* are changing. And there’s nothing standing in the way of us seeing *through* this trick of the mind, and reaping the rewards.
There’s a piece I wrote, a few years ago, that concluded:
> *“I am hopeful for the future and you should be, too. Humanity’s long slumber is coming to an end and we are waking up to our true nature…”*
So, what if it is indeed darkest before the dawn?
And what’s to say we’re not on the cusp of a huge shift? That our collective misery and the ‘tsunami’ of mental health problems aren’t the *very impetus we need*, to wake up?
🤔
Sure, we don’t know what ‘problems’ will arise as a *result* of such a **Thought Revolution**, but let’s go one step at a time, eh?
Let’s wake up first.
I’m glad you’re here with me on this journey.
💟
Giles
### My two favourite words
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-two-favourite-words/
Last updated: 2026-02-02T14:30:13.000Z
There are two words I occasionally hear coming out of a client’s mouth, that fill my heart with joy.
The most recent time was with someone who’d had a few sessions with me, as I helped them to overcome a fairly recent traumatic event. It was something completely out of their control and a terrible experience that had been haunting them since.
The body was getting in on the action too, with physical symptoms, and it was all pretty rubbish, truth be told.
---
So we did what we do with Innate Health coaching: we spent almost no time at all looking at ‘the problem’ and lots of relaxed, fun time looking at the nature of experience itself (of which ‘problems’ are a trifling subset).
🌊
We went ****upstream**, to get clarity, which washed away all the problems that were being experienced, ****downstream**.
And things started to shift. Slowly at first, and then in every session, I’d be greeted with tales of personal change, delivered in such a matter-of-fact way, that I had to double check the facts.
😆
But then my client got ill.
Which brought back a lot of the physical symptoms—symptoms that had them climbing the walls when we first started—and as they lay there in bed, they had an insight. Quite possibly the biggest, most helpful one, yet.
They realised they were actually pretty much ok with it all. It didn't bother them any more.
What had previously been a problem, had stopped being an actual problem.
And as they were describing this transformative revelation to me, that’s when my two favourite words popped out of their mouth:
> ***“Oh well.”***
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Giles
p.s. If you’d like problems that seem like problems to no longer look like problems (and therefore not *be* problems), well then, let’s have a chat → [https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
### The freedom of ‘real and not true’
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/
Last updated: 2026-03-23T08:57:50.000Z
I was working with a client and from having observed their own behaviour for a while, they arrived at the following, powerful realisation:
> *“You can’t change your experience. I just have to see that it’s my thinking about it that’s causing how I feel.”*
Wonderful. This helped them so much and took such a weight off.
Because they’d seen that while the experience is *real* (the situation is happening; the sensations of it all are being felt – we’re not denying anything here), it’s not *true.*
Because it’s made of Thought.
A quick note on terminology
Oh how I wish we hadn’t landed on the word ‘thought’ to describe the felt human experience. It’s quite possibly the biggest source of confusion around the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com), and it has a tendency to become a big stick with which to beat ourselves.
So, for the record:
→ **Thought is NOT ‘thinking’**
→ **Although ‘thinking’ is made of Thought.**
But only because **everything* is experienced via the Principle of Thought.
What is Thought, then?
Why not consider it as being perception.
It’s everything we perceive; everything that consciousness brings to life in our awareness. It’s the *entire* experience we’re having (of which ‘thinking’ is only a tiny little bit, almost layered on top of it – the DVD [commentary track](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/), if you like)!
So for example, as I type this, I’m having an experience of this thing my keyboard and my wrists are resting on, that we collectively know to refer to as ‘desk’.
I have an experience of that. It’s solid; material and it’s perceived. It’s real and I feel it. It’s made of Thought-perception.
But if my Dad—a carpenter—were here, he’d take one look at it and say,
> *“Where did you get this piece of crap?! What a waste of money! Let me make you something better.”*
They’re two totally different experiences.
(Not ‘points of view’ but literally **different realities being created** – made entirely out of this thing we’re labelling as ‘Thought’.)
Both of them are *real.*
But neither of them are *true.* (How could they be? Whose version is ‘right’??)
---
And as my client saw, it’s the same with all your reactions to everything. All these perceptions of life’s happenstance. They’re all real. Own them. Don't push them away. That’s your stuff, right there.
Just know that it’s **not true**.
There’s real freedom in that.
It changes the way we view situations. There’s more curiosity—*“Oh, look how the mind is responding to that!”*—rather than being *in* it, pulled this way and that way by it; a victim of circumstance; taking on these reactions as ‘how I am’ when they’re simply not true.
Because, as I heard Dicken Bettinger once say,
> *“\[It’s\] a thought-created feeling experience, that’s only held in place by the thinking we’re doing in that moment.”*
😮
Giles
p.s. In tomorrow’s Daily Reminder I’ll share a personal example of how this played out, to my advantage, in a real life scenario. *(You can jump in the Time Machine and* [*read it now*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/no-use-crying-over-spilled-milk/)*!)*
### Related
[Mountain - No Mountain - Mountaina.k.a. The Enlightenment Path explained 🧘🏻♀️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://gilespcroft.com/mountain-no-mountain/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
A 19 minute-long video in which I comprehensively unpick ‘Real and not true’ 💝
### What if gravity sometimes didn't work?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-gravity-sometimes-didnt-work/
Last updated: 2026-08-25T12:34:05.000Z
The other week, I was talking about the ‘[Principles Police](https://www.gilespcroft.com/those-pesky-3ps-police/)’, joking that you can’t really do principles wrong – they’re just a description of how something works.
To illustrate this, I took another principle—gravity—and invited you to imagine “doing it wrong” … I mean, it’s just not a thing, is it?
Now, the other rock solid, reliable aspect of principles is that they work 100% of the time, whether you believe in them or not, or you’re thinking about them, or even if you’re completely unaware of their existence – they’re just there and they just work.
🔑
****Key Message**. Principles are:
1) Constant
2) Explanatory
3) Predictive
You don’t have to get involved and ‘use’ them or anything, you’re just bimbling around in a reality where these principles—like gravity—operate without exception, and because they do, you pretty much *completely* forget about them, and get on with your life.
(I guarantee that unless your job is an Astro-physicist, you would not have contemplated gravity *once* today, until I started banging on about it and brought it into your consciousness.)
So, today I’d invite you to consider what would happen if gravity sometimes *didn’t* work?
How would you behave, if there was an outside chance that at some point during the day, gravity would stop?
🤔
I reckon you’d end up doing something like this:
The infamous [T/F coin](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insights-keep-coming/), sellotaped to my desk. You know, just in case…
Why?
Because if there was the *faintest* chance that stuff would float off (especially cash!) then you’d want to make sure it didn’t.
Even if you knew gravity worked 99.9999999999% of the time, but it didn’t for 0.0000000001% of the time, you’d still have to tape stuff down, just in case.
It doesn’t matter that most of the time it works. You’ve got to live in a reality where it doesn’t (sometimes). It’s a big deal, there’s constant uncertainty and you have to think about it a lot, now.
Bummer.
---
It’s the same with the principles behind your psychology.
🔑
****Key Message**:
➤ ****100%** of our feelings come from (the Principle of) Thought
➤ ****0%** of our feelings come from our circumstances
Even though it doesn't *look* that way.
Which means you can *completely* forget about it, and get on with your life.
If you have a crazy reaction to something, you can just chuckle, and marvel at the power of the thing – *Blimey, look how true Thought made that look!*
There’s no debate. No analysis required. You forgot for a moment, that’s all, because you’re human.
But if you’re bimbling around in a reality where you think that it’s *probably* Thought 99% of the time—yeah, that’s what Giles is saying, isn’t it?—but there are exceptions and 1% of your feelings *aren’t* Thought, they’re actually coming from:
- that bastard who said or did that thing 😡
- bad news in an email 😩
- your boss 👨💼
- how much money’s (not) in the bank 💸
- the presentation you’ve got to give next week 😱
- your childhood 😥
- what so-and-so thinks of you 🤡
… then your mind is going to do the equivalent of having a coin sellotaped to your desk, ‘just in case’ – it’s going to attribute EVERYTHING that happens to the 1% chance that it might *not* be Thought.
It doesn’t matter that most of the time it works. You’ve got to live in a reality where it doesn’t (sometimes). It’s a big deal, there’s constant uncertainty and you have to think about it a lot, now.
Bummer.
---
This is why when working with individuals and groups, I get quite tiresome with the whole ‘100%’ thing, and turn myself inside out with the stories and metaphors and demonstrations and exercises and diagrams and poems and song lyrics and video clips… to help you see that although it ***really*** looks like some small percentage of your experience of life comes from the stuff that’s happening ‘to’ you… that’s simply not possible.
It either works *entirely* this way, or it doesn’t work this way at all.
There’s no such thing as a ‘mixed’ paradigm.
💟
Giles
p.s. If you disagree and can come up with a mechanism by which an internal felt state, or meaning, could be somehow transmitted from another object or person, please put me straight in the comments. My entire career is built on these principles, and if they're wrong, I need to know! 😬
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Those pesky 3Ps PoliceOn ‘not being all-in’ on the 3 Principles. Look out, they’re coming for you! 👮The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/those-pesky-3ps-police/)
### Getting some distance
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/getting-some-distance/
Last updated: 2026-03-25T17:30:24.000Z
The clients I see invariably face a conundrum of some description, that they’ve been grinding their gears over for some time.
Whether it’s an emotional issue, a feeling of stuckness, a physical manifestation, overwhelm, or a creeping feeling that All Is Not Well, chances are, by the time we meet, they’ve become something [of an expert](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-writing-about-conditions/) in it, a bit like *Mastermind.*
> 👤 *“And your chosen subject is…?”*
> 💺 *“How sh\*t everything is.”*
They’ve been trying to sort it out for themselves (or with traditional interventions, rooted in misunderstanding), nothing’s really worked and they think they may as well give me a go.
(If all else fails, at least it looks as if I have a *bit* of a sense of humour and might crack a joke or two.)
🤷🏻♂️
This means, that for as long as I can remember, during appointments, I’ve been inviting people to *“put your thinking up on the shelf for a while”* so that they can remove the primary obstacle to clarity, understanding, wisdom and insight.
(I usually have to follow that invitation up with a reassurance that *“It’s ok, you can have it back when we’re done,”* because OH MY WORD are we wedded to our thinking?!?! 😱)
## My ‘Thought System’ box
Anyway, a few years ago, I had the insight to create a visual representation of this, so that I had a prop to use during sessions.
If you’ve been paying any attention whatsoever, you’ll have seen it before:
**Giles’ Thought System* 📦 *(Fairly accurate representation of the real thing, to be fair.)*
That perfectly formed cube was harder to make than you’d imagine. But I’m proud to say I managed it all by myself, without having to call in air support (i.e. Mrs Croft or indeed *Croftus Minimus*).
😊
It’s a visual representation of what I refer to, variedly, as:
- ‘the mind’
- ‘the computer, analytical, or algorithmic mind’
- ‘the intellect’
- ‘ego’
- ‘the left brain’
- ‘our conditioning’
- ‘personal thinking’
- ‘pea-brain’
- ‘the chatterbox’
- ‘the uninvited guest’
…and so on, and so on. You get the picture.
Basically, it’s what gets in the way.
That home-made cube forms the basis of this deeply provocative Key Message from my 6 week [RECONNECT course](https://www.gilespcroft.com/reconnect/), that I wouldn’t *dream* of sharing with the uninitiated, lest they lamp me one 🥊💥
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind
😲
(That’s one to reflect on. Can you see how the word “all’ is in capitals, and underlined? 😉)
## Getting some distance
And then, the other day, this took a twist.
I was working with someone who innocently kept getting seduced by the mind’s proclivity for analysis (i.e. a human) and I was inviting them to *“get some distance”* from it, so that they might realise something new about the way they were seeing things.
Waving my Thought System 📦 around in the air—while trying to keep it on-screen—I suddenly spied in the background a bit of clear space on the coffee table at the back of my office.
Inspiration struck!
I jumped up, ran over, put the Thought System in the clear space, walked back to my chair and simply said,
> *“There.”*
😂
(Doesn’t take much to keep me amused.)
To be fair, simple visual metaphor though it was, it did the trick.
We both sat there quietly, suddenly able to perceive something more expansive; something with a bit more potential than that little [story-box](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-story-box/).
---
I leave it there a lot of the time, during conversations these days, for two reasons:
1. It’s further away, so it’s not bothering us so much
2. If (when) we notice ourselves unhelpfully slipping into analysis mode again, I have to haul ass and go fetch.
I feel like this is a bit more in keeping with the natural order of things; you know, how we’re *actually* set up to function:
**Effortless flow vs. energy-expending rumination.**
So if you’re watching a video of mine, or we’re having a conversation over Zoom\* and you spot it all the way over there… now you know why.
💟
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
\*Know that it's time for significant life change? Looking to get a different relationship with your **own* Thought System 📦? Ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Related
[The story boxMinds just don’t know that they’re not really that clever. 🤓The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-story-box/)
What's in it, then?
### The story box
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-story-box/
Last updated: 2026-03-25T17:01:45.000Z
I saw this image and it just about sums it up.
😂
It’s so important to see that when it’s predicting the future, the mind ONLY has [the past to go on](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/) (i.e. what it’s already collected).
It’s a teeny-tiny repository of information, in the big scheme of things.
It’s completely innocent. It just doesn’t know anything of life. It can’t imagine what it doesn’t know and has never experienced.
Even if it tries to think ‘outside of the box’, it will still be using old data to try and do that.
It’s just not that clever.
---
A personal example: before I get on a call with a client.
It gets into rehearsing. It will sometimes start getting worried. It will start creating stories, like *“I’ll have nothing to say”* or *“I’m just going to be repeating myself.”*
Ditto written articles, when the mind’s projecting into the future.
Ditto these Daily Reminders!
It doesn’t know that it’s not involved in generating FRESH NEW content, there in the moment.
It’s only the fact that it *thinks* it does (’cos it’s got no idea) that’s freaking you out.
---
Does this mean you just ‘wing it’ and never prepare for anything?
Well, to a degree, we all are, all the time, really. We don’t know what’s going to happen, from one moment to the next.
But in terms of conversations—human interactions; especially with a client—I know that preparation & agendas is a complete no no.
Because I’m not there to share factual information or teach anything.
I’m there to [be present](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/#:~:text=I'll%20check%20in%20with%20myself%20before%20I%20start%20any%20session) and let life decide what’s best.
---
Of course we can’t be separate from the left brain story-box either, so whatever happens is always going to come *through* that repository—Etymology: *re- ponere* (Lat.) *“to put back”*—of experience and memory and conditioning, whether we like it or not.
But it’s helpful to see that new material isn’t coming *from* the story-box.
A subtle distinction for sure, but one that makes all the difference, allowing us to take the mind’s insecurities—as it worries about jobs it doesn’t even have to do!!—less seriously, and, in doing so, reconnect to the *true* source of fresh new ideas and solutions.
💟
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Related
[Going fishingA powerful visual metaphor for the mind’s relationship to past, present and future 🕰️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/)
### Those pesky 3Ps Police
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/those-pesky-3ps-police/
Last updated: 2026-01-06T12:47:20.000Z
I have quite a lot of conversations with people about the 3Ps (The [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com), as articulated by Sydney Banks in the 1970’s)
And it’s funny, because I hear people saying things like,
- *“I’m not ‘all in’ on the 3Ps,”* or
- *“I’ve been away from the 3Ps for a while, but I’m back into them now,”* or
- *“I still practice this other thing, so I’m not really living a full 3Ps Life,”* or just plain old
- *“I think I’m doing the 3Ps wrong somehow, because everything’s not awesome.”*
Now, if the 3Ps were actually an approach or a tool that we could learn, understand, remember and apply, then I’d be with you.
(To be fair, under such circumstances I’d be ‘rubbish at the 3Ps’ too 🤣)
It’s almost as if there are some 3Ps Police, ready to knock on your door and cart you away, because you’re doing it wrong.
👮♀️👮♂️
> *“No peace of mind for you, sunshine – you’re not showing the requisite amount of dedication to the 3Ps.”*
---
Thankfully, the 3Ps *aren’t* an approach, or a tool that we can learn, understand, remember and apply.
They’re [principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/) (i.e. just the way something works).
Here’s a game we can play. Swap out ‘the 3Ps’ for the word ‘gravity’ (another principle) in those four statements, and see how they scan.
- *“I’m not ‘all in’ on gravity.”* **Oh, ok then!**
- *“I’ve been away from gravity for a while, but I’m back into it now.”* **Well, good for you!**
- *“I still practice this other thing, so I’m not really living a full Gravity Life.”* **Ummm, ok?**
- *“I think I’m doing gravity wrong somehow…”* **Ha ha, as if that could even be a thing!**
Hark! What’s that knock on the door? Oh criminy - it’s the Gravity Police!!!
😱
---
Where people get the idea that the 3Ps are a technique, or something you have to take on as a particular ‘way of being,’ is honestly beyond me.
They’re simply a description of the way we experience life, that’s all.
So if you’re:
1. Alive (= “Mind”)
2. Not under general anaesthetic (= “Consciousness”)
3. Having an experience (= “Thought”)
…then you can safely say you’re ‘all in’ on the 3Ps.
I don’t see how that’s something you could ‘get wrong.’
If it *looks* like there are 3Ps Police somewhere, telling you otherwise, there aren’t.
(Well, if there *are*, then you needn't worry about them, because they’re out on their annual shindig with the Gravity Police, who are just about as real.)
🪩
Giles
[Home - 3PGC Three Principles Global CommunityThe Three Principles Global Community (3PGC) is a non- profit organization committed to disseminating the understanding of The Three Principles as discovered by Sydney Banks to people throughout the world.3pgc.orgEmil Arge](https://www.3pgc.org/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The official home of all things 3Ps
### Three things you don't know
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/three-things-you-dont-know/
Last updated: 2026-03-11T16:44:49.000Z
I’ve just come off a call with a client (who said it was ok to mention this), where we were talking about that common, tricky situation of difficult people, and what to do about them.
It was someone in their world that they ‘[always](https://www.gilespcroft.com/always/)’ struggle with and, understandably, it was bumming them out.
And of course the mind wants to help. It always wants to help!
So it tries to figure it out. Plan. Change stuff. Adjust. Accept. Strategise. Get its crystal ball out and rehearse the future. A better one. A different one.
Which is fine, I suppose, but the mind doesn’t know how stuff really works. It doesn’t know about life. And possibility. And real change.
It doesn’t know *anything* outside itself, so it can only offer very limited options.
When it comes to future interactions with other people, all it’s got to go on is [what it already knows](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-future-is-the-past/). The past.
But here are three things it *doesn’t* know:
1. How the other person’s going to behave
2. How we’re going to behave
3. How we’re going to feel, in the moment
(So, basically, all of it 😂)
It will say it *does* know, but there are actually an infinite number of actions and outcomes up for grabs; all of which are outside of its frame of reference. So naturally, it can’t say anything about those, or even [conceptualise them](https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/).
(Which a mind really doesn’t like. Minds like to know stuff.)
Now, we only really get into difficulty when we lose sight of that, and instead listen to its limited menu of options; taking them seriously.
Because the other thing that minds do *really* well, is to look for evidence to [prove themselves right](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pattern-matching-relationships/).
So if you take that mind-limited view into the next interaction you face (that [it’s rehearsed](https://www.gilespcroft.com/people-prep/) going the one way or the other way, ’cos thats all it can conceive of) then it’s kinda going to make sure that it gets what it’s looking for.
And that perpetuates the issue.
Sorry. (Don’t shoot the messenger here.)
🤷🏻♂️
## So what’s the answer?
Well, it’s not to brainstorm new ways of facing the situation, because you can’t think your way out of a thinking problem. That’s turning to the mind for answers it doesn’t have. All you’ll get is opinions.
Honestly, I’m not sure I know the answer.
But maybe that’s enough?
🤔
Maybe the answer is to get a bit more comfortable with **not* knowing?
Start by being open to something different (regards either 1, 2 or 3 above) happening… which is actually a lot harder than it sounds (because minds are *bloody* insistent, I don’t know if you’d noticed)?!
But it’s all that’s left if we’re not going to turn to the mind for answers (i.e. opinions).
So it’s worth a punt, eh?
I can’t say I’m an expert at this. I’m human, I have a mind that likes to think it knows stuff too, presenting me with *very* limited options for pretty much every scenario I face in life.
And I think that *knowing* that—just being aware that I’m almost entirely ignorant about most things, and that there are *way* more possibilities and outcomes than I could *ever* conceive of—is half the battle.
That’s when I get surprised.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Pattern matching in relationshipsThe mind looks for what it expects to see. What’s yours looking for? 🔍The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/pattern-matching-relationships/)
If we're not careful, we will actively perpetuate the existence of these ‘difficult people’
### No use crying over spilled milk
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/no-use-crying-over-spilled-milk/
Last updated: 2026-03-23T08:54:53.000Z
I clumsily knocked over the bottle of energy drink I’d just prepared for a ride.
These sorts of things generally only seem to happen when we least want them to, don’t they? We’re in a hurry—in this case, just wanting to get out the door on my bike, ASAP—and we get careless.
(If we’re trotting out the proverbs today, let’s add *‘More haste, less speed’* into the mix, eh?)
And in the most mundane of fashions, this is when seeing that our experience (which includes the mind’s reactions to situations) is [real but not true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mailings/14Pjws9HD8eGviMbiSsGZ8Vq), really saves the day.
Because yes, when this happened, there was a brief flash of white hot anger. If I remember correctly, I probably did curse, loudly, with a real feeling of fury.
> 📦🗣️ *I don’t want this to happen!! This is slowing me down!! I’m an idiot!!*
And then, just as quick as it had come, it was gone; replaced by a chuckle and an acceptance of the situation.
Look, I even got my phone out to take a photo!
It may sound boring, but knowing that response #1 was real and not true, opened the moment up to response #2 … and of course responses #3 through to #3,000,000… and beyond.
♾️
There’s really nothing fancy or weird about [real and not true](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/).
It’s just seeing that there are no rules when it comes to life’s situations, however much the mind makes out like there are. Thought can show up in any form at all, to deliver ‘reality’ for you.
And seeing that is enough for new and different ones to appear.
💟
Giles
### Related
[The freedom of ‘real and not true’If somebody else has a different experience of something… whose experience is ‘true’? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/)
### Thought, masquerading as presence
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/
Last updated: 2026-01-30T15:36:01.000Z
Here’s a thing I see a lot.
We’re facing a situation; maybe struggling with it a bit.
Then we get a shift in perspective, or have a good idea, or see a way through.
🥳
But then things go a bit wrong, or it looks like the idea we’ve had wasn’t so good after all, and we can’t figure out why, because surely, we’ve had an insight now?
The problem went away… but we still don’t feel right? What gives?!
😖
Frustrating, isn’t it?
## **Here’s a metaphor that might help**
I find the easiest way to conceptualise this is with the notion of a **Great Glass Consciousness Elevator** (from hereon in to be known at the GGCE ↕️).
I think I read about this in one of Michael Neill’s books, and it’s a very simple idea:
🛗
In any moment that comes along, our mood/state of mind/level of consciousness determines how many floors up we have gone on an imaginary GGCE ↕️ and hence, how much perspective we have on our current circumstances.
For instance:
- **GGCE** ↕️ **Ground Floor:** Problem in our face. Can’t see the wood for the trees. No perspective. Terrible. All seems urgent. No way out. Life is rubbish.
- **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 3:** Oh! Look! Bit of perspective on the problem. Not such a big deal after all. I can see the problem here, now I’ve got a bit of altitude on it. I can see a way through it, from up here.
- **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 7:** Problem? What problem? 🙈
… and so on.
Crucially:
- We go up and down the levels all day long (much faster than you’d imagine)
- We don’t get to choose what level we’re on
- There are no buttons to press, sorry 🤷🏻♂️
- There are infinite levels: no top or bottom, so all measurements are relative, not absolute
## **Real life example**
To use a real life example, let’s say you were getting seriously angry with something or someone (**GGCE** ↕️ **Level 1**) and then you have the realisation that you’ve fallen for that trickster Thought again.
😮
For a moment there it really looked like that person, or that situation was what was pissing you off… when of course, it’s just the data of life’s happenstance rubbing up against your conditioned thinking, and the fact you hadn’t *spotted* that, is what’s causing your suffering!
🤦🏻♂️
You were, once more, an innocent victim of the outside-in misunderstanding (i.e. the mistaken, societally-conditioned, pernicious belief that feelings could come from anywhere *other* than the Principle of Thought).
Phew!
You’ve seen something different, the old thinking has kind of just fallen away, and you see the situation with way more clarity, understanding and compassion.
Oh, look!! I’m on **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 4** all of a sudden, awesome!! 🙌🏻 I didn’t have to do a thing. How cool is that?! I love how this works!!
🥰
Oh my god, I feel ***so*** much better! Now, why couldn’t I have seen that sooner?! Lordy, I’m such a dufus. That person’s not to blame, I just got tricked by Thought again! Ha ha, what a relief. So easy to fall for. Being human, eh?! Crikey, I do wish I wouldn’t do that. Why do I always fall for it? I’m sure other people don’t get caught out so easily. WTF is wrong with me?!
😞
And before we know it, we’re busy thinking up a storm again.
But… (and this is the crux of it) it’s a **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 4** Thought Storm ⛈️ not the **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 1** Thought Storm ⛈️ we just left behind.
💡
****It’s thought, masquerading as presence.**
## **Why does this happen?**
I think this is because we feel the ***change*** between levels, not the level itself (because it’s all made up; it’s all arbitrary; it’s all relative).
To the mind, it really looks like leaving **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 1** behind, having an insight and moving up to **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 4** as a result means we’ve got it sorted. No more worries. Everything hunky-dory now.
In 3Ps-parlance, we *“fell out of our thinking”* and *“returned to presence,”* when we spotted that we’d been tricked by the outside-in illusion again.
But **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 4** comes with its own thinking. It’s an actual reality that’s being created and you’re inhabiting. It looks just as true as **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 1** did when you were down there, and everything you see and do and interact with, will be seen and done and interacted with, wearing your **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 4** goggles.
It’s exactly the same at **GGCE** ↕️ **Level 5.**
And **Level 500.**
Even **Level 4,725,747,995,235** and beyond…
It’s just that we won’t spot it.
Because whatever level of consciousness we’re operating from, we will experience thought, masquerading as presence.
## **What can we do about this?**
Nothing. There’s nothing to do, only something to see.
Knowing that there even ***is*** this conceptual **Great Glass Consciousness Elevator** (and what it’s doing) is 9/10ths of the battle.
And this means we’re naturally grateful when we experience the high of moving up a level or two.
Similarly, we know not to take the sinking feeling of dropping a few levels very seriously, ‘cos it’ll change again, all on its own.
Importantly, we don’t spend our lives desperately seeking a button to press, to change the level ourselves. (If there *were* buttons, they’d all be for *lower* floors, lol.)
Crucially, we get to enjoy the ride, appreciative of the fact that staying on one level would be boring as hell and we’d never get to experience the wonders of the human condition.
💟
Giles
### Related
[AperturesThis one makes the podium for my top 3 favourite metaphors for life! 📷The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/apertures/)
Different metaphor, pointing to the same thing ✨
### Accepting non-peace
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/accepting-non-peace/
Last updated: 2025-12-19T16:06:38.000Z
[Yesterday I suggested](https://www.gilespcroft.com/youre-not-going-to-get-peace-of-mind/) that “peace of mind” is a bit of a misnomer, because of this equation I made up:
💡
****The nature of the mind = Not-peace.**
It seemed to resonate, as I’ve had a fair few responses from it, from you.
Then, almost on cue, this quote from Eckhart Tolle’s book [The Power of Now](https://amzn.to/45iWKqR?ref=gilespcroft.com) cropped up on my Twitter timeline:
> *“Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace gets transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.”*
> \~ Eckhart Tolle
😙👌🏻
Perfection.
---
Now, if the nature of the mind is not-peace, and he’s saying accept non-peace, then he’s saying accept the nature of the mind; how it’s responding to stuff.
Which is the simplicity of the 3 Principles understanding.
Whatever situation you face—at work, at home, in your relationships, on your own, in your head—your mind is going to have a lot to say about it.
You might also notice that your mind is going to have a lot to say about what it’s got to say about the situation.
And, let’s face it people, it’s probably going to have a lot to say about all the stuff it’s saying about what it has to say about the situation.
… and so on …
♾️
The key isn’t to accept the *situation* (because [it’s not the situation you’re experiencing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-happens-how-you-feel/)), it’s to accept the mind’s ‘non-peace’ response *to* the situation.
And hey presto: peace.
💟
Giles
p.s. told you it was simple.
### Mentioned above
[You’re not going to get peace of mindIt’s impossible. Here’s why 😘The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/youre-not-going-to-get-peace-of-mind/)
### You're not going to get peace of mind
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/youre-not-going-to-get-peace-of-mind/
Last updated: 2025-12-19T16:07:28.000Z
Not long ago, a client I was working with had a great little insight. They said,
> *“The mind can't understand peace of mind, can it?”*
And no, I don’t think it can.
It *thinks* it knows what peace of mind is—yearns for it, even—but since the not-peace is linked to mind activity, then for ‘peace’ it would have to be non-existent… and then what even would be yearning for, and realising the peace of mind in the first place and oooooh, it all gets very complicated after that!
(I’m reminded of this funny meme.)
Maybe it’s easier to conceptualise it like this:
💡
****The nature of the mind = Not-peace.**
…and since your mind is not going anywhere any time soon, it’s more like peace *with* mind.
Maybe the two (‘peace’ and ‘mind’) aren’t really connected at all?
And it’s the mind making this spurious, technically *impossible* connection in the first place, that has us all het up and looking for answers in all the wrong places.
Maybe.
💟
Giles
### Your next read
[Accepting non-peaceHow to find peace when nothing is peaceful 😎The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/accepting-non-peace/)
What to do about this.
### Phases
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/phases/
Last updated: 2025-11-27T20:57:06.000Z
It’s the weekend, so let’s forget work, kick back and listen to some music.
*(Oh no! I hear you protest … but it’s ok, it’s not about Depeche Mode this week* 😉)
I rather like Keane, you know.
Not something I’d have gone shouting from the houses a few years ago (when I cared what people thought 😆) as they seemed a tad lightweight… too catchy for their own good… even a bit boy band-y, dare I say?
Didn’t stop me from buying all their albums and going to see them live… but I wouldn’t have let *you* know any of that, lol.
---
And then they grew up, self-destructed, split up, eventually made up and put out their best ever album: a proper grown up thing that ticks off large swathes of the human experience, good, bad and very messy.
(As an aside, I’d completely forgotten they existed, and had no idea about this ‘new’ (2019) album they’d released, until I found an interview on a podcast I like listening to—[*Sodajerker On Songwriting*](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/sodajerker-on-songwriting/id479679002?ref=gilespcroft.com)—where the band’s song writer talked through his process and the stories behind all the new songs… it’s a fascinating listen, highly recommended.)
[Episode 148 – Tim Rice-OxleyKeane’s Tim Rice-Oxley talks about the writing of their new album Cause and Effect. In the course of the conversation, Tim reveals his guitar-centric approach to the keyboard, why he likes to write alone, and how he uses songwriting exercises to challenge himself.Sodajerker](https://www.sodajerker.com/episode-148-tim-rice-oxley/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The songs are just as catchy and upbeat as they used to be (more so, maybe!) but now instead of being about unrequited, youthful love, or how they all get on each others’ wicks, they tackle all sorts of big life things they’ve been through, so you don’t have to, for example:
- Separation & divorce *(You’re Not Home)*
- Burnout *(Love Too Much)*
- Parenting *(I’m Not Leaving)*
- Mental health struggles *(The Way I Feel; Put the Radio On; Difficult Year)*
- Getting busted for drink driving and ending up in jail *(Strange Room)*
- Infidelity *(Stupid things)*
… and lest we think this is all doom and gloom (it’s really not), we’ve also got:
- Forgiveness *(Thread)*
- Love being more important than ‘stuff’ *(I Need Your Love)*
- Finding someone special *(Chase the Night Away)*
- Turning the corner *(Golden Age)*
But the one that I always come back to, that really has a laser focus on the human condition, is called Phases. I absolutely love it, and will happily wreck my voice, belting it out at full volume (his register is waaaaay higher than mine). Here you go, have a listen:
Keane Phases (YouTube Audio)
0:00
/218.30530612244897
1×
### **PHASES**
> A plan is a work of art
> A house built to fall apart
> You're digging for the answers
> Crawl across the world to find
> There are just more questions
> Waiting on the other side
> But you're still here
> You're bleeding, but you're still here
> Phases, the motion of our lives
> Ages, the rote of changes
> Erases the ink before it dries on pages
> It's all just phases
> And sometimes you feel how good it is
> And low tide gives way to high tide
> And hard times, we watch them come and go
> Like crazes, it's all just phases.
---
It’s really one to fall back on when you’re going through tough times and you need someone to let you know that **THIS TOO SHALL PASS**. Five, ten years from now, you won’t even remember what’s going on at the moment and everything will have changed again… ’cos it’s all just phases, innit?
(It’s bloody catchy, too.)
You can listen to the whole album for free on YouTube here (click on the image, or follow the link beneath).
Visit Keane's YouTube Channel to listen to ****Cause And Effect**
[***Keane - Cause and Effect***](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy%5Fn864sI2cOxw3k%5FGNvyW54hnQEUxuhhziE&ref=gilespcroft.com)
Have yourself a lovely weekend.
💟
Giles
p.s. if like me, you liked their early stuff but had no idea this album even existed then OMG you’re in for a treat!! – there’s not one moment of filler on there.
### The trouble with ‘trusting your wisdom’
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-trouble-with-trusting-your-wisdom/
Last updated: 2026-01-27T00:26:30.000Z
In a recent Daily Reminder, we looked at two different kinds of thinking experience—‘[wisdom’ and ‘worry](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-vs-worry/)’—and how to differentiate between them, by feeling.
(Probably worth having a [quick watch of the video](https://youtu.be/rVTGwFioS84?ref=gilespcroft.com), if you missed it; it’s only 3 minutes long.)
And today, I want to take a Sunday-look at where it’s so easy to trip up around this idea.
Because have you ever caught yourself saying something like,
> *“I just need to trust my inner wisdom”?*
Because it’s an easy hop, skip and a jump from seeing a difference between the felt experience of wisdom/intuition and the felt experience of worry/over-analysis; to seeing one as ‘good’, the other as ‘bad’ and therefore aiming for one, over the other.
You know, turn it into a strategy.
And nobody would blame you if, all the the while you did this, it was playing out to the visualisation of my little Thought Realisation/Innate Health stick man diagram:
Subtext: Thought (i.e. worry) BAD. Innate Health (i.e. wisdom) GOOD.
But guys. We need to look more closely at that sentence:
> *“I just need to trust my inner wisdom”*
For a start, whose wisdom are we talking about here?
Because I’m not sure ‘wisdom’ is yours. It just is. It’s the formless, intelligent energy of life itself.
To refer to it as ‘your’ wisdom would be a bit like leaving the house and trusting to ‘your’ gravity.
Not a thing.
---
Then there’s the whole issue of *trusting* said formless energy.
Trust implies ‘good’ and ‘bad’ outcomes. It’s like there’s an unwritten, or invisible equation that goes something like:
📦
**I don’t trust wisdom (and wisdom is good).*
**Instead, I get caught up in over-thinking (which is bad).*
**Therefore I don’t get the good outcomes that would have happened if I* **had* *just ‘trusted my wisdom’.*
**I make un-wise decisions and I get bad outcomes.*
**Woe is me.* 😫
I hope you can see the nonsense in this, too.
It’s all conceptual. All intellectual. It *all* actually lives in the **Thought** part of the equation.
And it’s all predicated on a ‘me’ that gets to choose these things; a ‘me’ that’s actually no more than a recurrent habit of thinking in itself.
Crucially: a ‘me’ that thinks its needs will be met if things turn out a particular way—if wisdom is trusted!—and then, finally, **everything will be ok**. The relentless search will be over. It can stop worrying.
It will shut up for you then, and leave you alone, honest.
🙄
Again, not a thing.
It’s a prison. A trap. *“Trying to find love where the beautiful bird does not drink,”* [as Hafiz would say](https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-11/).
For as long as ‘you’ (i.e. the mind) keep trying to figure this out and put some kind of strategy into action, you will remain stuck.
---
One of the most useful stories I ever heard related about Syd Banks was that he would use concepts, but only up to the point where it allowed the listener to ***let go of concepts***. To lull the mind to sleep and rest in the peace of pure presence.
It’s why I chuck one metaphor after another at you in the Daily Reminders: here, try this… and this… and this…
Not for you to understand them, remember them, or apply them, but for that one moment where something I’ve written hits you in the feels so hard that you drop ALL the thinking you have about this stuff (including notions such as ‘trusting your wisdom’) and have a very real experience of who you are, *before* concepts, labels or stories.
With so much love.
💟
Giles
### Mentioned above
[Wisdom vs. worryHow do we know when we’re tapped into wisdom, as opposed to worry? It’s a fine line, but there are ways of telling ⚖️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-vs-worry/)
### Wisdom vs. worry
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-vs-worry/
Last updated: 2025-12-13T23:23:26.000Z
The other day, under the camouflage of talking about [crosswords](https://www.gilespcroft.com/crosswords-are-awesome/), I pointed to the sort of effortless, free-flowing kind of thinking that we might label as ‘wisdom’ or ‘intuition’.
And in [today’s short video clip](https://youtu.be/rVTGwFioS84?ref=gilespcroft.com) we look a little more at the difference between that, and worrisome, analytic-type thinking.
Because it can be a little bit difficult sometimes to differentiate, especially when it comes to notions such as ‘heading in the right direction’ and ‘decision-making’.
But there’s a different *feel* to these two different modes of thinking… as the person who wrote in, describes so beautifully.
Enjoy this one – I think you’ll find it a helpful distinction.
A bit later this week—Sunday, I think; it’s got a kind of [Sunday Spiritual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/) vibe to it—I’m going to go even deeper into this, and lay out a common obstacle it’s easy to stumble on, when thinking about ‘wisdom vs. worry’.
Stay tuned!
💟
Giles
### Your next read
[The trouble with ‘trusting your wisdom’It really looks like ‘wisdom = good’ and ‘worry = bad’ … but is that really that case? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-trouble-with-trusting-your-wisdom/)
Jump forward a few days in the time machine, to read the Sunday Spiritual I mention above!
### “Do you worry about your daughter's future?”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-worry-about-your-daughters-future/
Last updated: 2026-03-24T00:42:27.000Z
A question that was posed to me, by a client.
We’d been talking about parenting, and kids. And worries about kids. As is often the case, I was sharing anecdotes and metaphors, as a means of pointing to the universal principles that govern our experience of life… and that of our kids’ lives.
We got to a nice reflective space, and then the tables got turned on me.
> *“If it’s ok to ask… Do you worry about *your* daughter's future?”*
It threw me for a moment, as it’s not something I’ve really spent any time thinking about. Not specifically, like this.
I got quiet, and ‘searched my soul,’ so to speak, concluding,
> *“No, I don’t. And here's why.”*
---
It all boils down to those universal principles. How we experience the world. Who we are, and what we’ve got going for us.
Of course, my daughter’s physical safety (like my own!) is paramount.
So she’s been heavily schooled in crossing roads safely, will no doubt get many lectures from Dad in the future on ‘getting into cars’ and she learns more and more about kitchen safety and stuff like that, as she gets older.
But beyond the physical, in terms of ‘the future’, I know what she’s up against, and I know she’s got it covered.
Like me, like you, like every being on planet earth, the experience that she has on a moment-to-moment basis, is of a [thought-created perceptual reality](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/).
And beneath, or behind that thought-experience—powering it, in a way—is Innate Health. Wisdom. Common sense. Intuition. The answers she needs, for wherever she’s at.
And that’s it.
In terms of whether she has a happy, fulfilled life—just like me, and just like you—it all depends on how she *relates* to those pictures of the world being created, and what her mind has to say about them.
Supporting her in that, is kinda what I see as my main job.
And I don’t worry about that, no.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS
[](#/portal/signup)
Want insightful content like this mailed to you regularly?
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
**Post-script:** This conversation really stayed with my client and when they came back, two weeks later, so much had changed. Better relationships, better work, better sleep, less worry, more contentment, it was a joy to behold.
The power of principles at work!
### Related
[Parental dutyIt’s not always easy, but I find it pretty straightforward. Because I’ve only go one job. This is it. 💁🏻♂️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/parental-duty/)
There's also a whole Topic Page dedicated to [****Parenting**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/parenting/)
### Crosswords are awesome
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/crosswords-are-awesome/
Last updated: 2025-12-13T22:44:07.000Z
My favourite Christmas present I received cost just £4.60\. It was the latest **Puzzler** – a bumper crop of mostly word-based quizzes that you pick up at the checkout, in your local supermarket.
(Yup, I’m officially old now.)
This is only my second ever copy – we’ve been working our way through the first, very slowly indeed, for the past year! But my wife noticed I’d completed most of it (aside from the weird stuff), and thought it would be a nice touch to get me another, as a surprise.
💘
I’m fascinated by crosswords.
Not the cryptic ones—those can get in the sea—but your bog standard, here’s-two-ways-of-saying-the-same-thing type crosswords.
Some clues come easy. Some are impossible (words, or terms I’ve never heard of) and then there are those in the middle.
You know the ones, where you think you *should* know, but there and then, you can’t figure it out. They might feel like they’re on the tip of your tongue, or, conversely, you might have no idea.
In tackling these, for a while, I’ll ‘wrack my brain’ (left brain; intellect) until actual steam comes out of my ears. There may be frustration, occasional swearing, and stopping to check in on it repeatedly during the day, as I pass the kitchen table, where the book resides.
But there’ll come a point where I have to give up. Just accept that I don’t know and move on.
Now, because this is a little trifling thing, it’s really easy to *completely* forget about it. It never enters my consciousness again. The book’s closed, or buried under the sort of cruft that accumulates on kitchen tables, and sometimes I even forget there’s a **Puzzler** there at all.
---
Until I remember, or spot it, or am idly waiting for coffee to come to the boil and looking for a way to wake up, first thing.
I’ll pick it up, open it up to the page of the crossword I was working on, look down and already know the answer to the problem I was struggling with.
It’s B O N K E R S.
😵
I guess in these situations we’re farming it out to the right brain (subconscious; life), in that way that Richard Carlson always referred to as ‘[putting it on the back burner](https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-problems-on-the-back-burner/)’.
The answer we’re seeking is already within us, but its time hasn’t come.
There’s literally nothing we can ‘do’ in order to speed up the process… we just set the intention, and life does the rest.
💡
****We don’t come up with solutions. They come to us.**
With crosswords, this process is quick and easy and fun to observe, but it’s no different from any other problem we’re struggling with.
It’s just that those look to be more important, so we feel more compelled to ‘wrack our brains’ for a solution we’ll never find with the intellect.
---
So, whatever ‘difficult situation’ you find that mind of yours stopping to check in on repeatedly during the day, *convinced* that it will reach a solution, if only you think a bit harder… why not accept that you don’t know and move on.
Not only do you get to stop wearing yourself out with your own thinking, but you’ll also create the space for the answer to come to you, too.
And if these Daily Reminders are little pointers for you (and me!) to see the universal principles at play in your experience of life, then the humble crossword is surely one of the easiest ways to remind yourself to ‘[think less and live more](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)’.
💟
Giles
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 12: What The Prom Queen Gets
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-12/
Last updated: 2026-05-18T18:04:21.000Z
> **WHAT THE PROM QUEEN GETS**
> *Time an enemy not easy to slay.*
> *It can tear the wing apart,*
> *Sever it with with such an unclean cut*
> *One can bleed for days.*
> *An hour is a clever hallucination,*
> *A year more so,*
> *A lifetime… the grand hoax.*
> *The way sound and light travel, the way*
> *All come from a source that has never moved,*
> *At the height of the action of longing*
> *Or in the perfect resistance to*
> *All the forces of morals…*
> *Everything can stop.*
> *That is where you want to be,*
> *Where the clock's tyranny has lost*
> *Its influence.*
> *One always gets a big prize for that—*
> *For any intelligent, overall functional,*
> *Useful deductions.*
> *The door prize is, heaven wraps itself*
> *In a box and places itself*
> *At your feet.*
> *With such a door prize,*
> *Try to imagine what*
> *The prom queen gets.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"What The Prom Queen Gets" from **A Year with Hafiz*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2011\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Hafiz on Time
And so time has passed and here we are, at the end of our 12 days of delicious, aged, Persian insights.
It's a funny one isn't it, time? Because experientially all there is, is now, so time becomes a bit of an intellectual concept.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 11: You Were Brave In That Holy War
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-11/
Last updated: 2026-05-18T18:02:17.000Z
> **YOU WERE BRAVE IN THAT HOLY WAR**
> *You have done well*
> *In the contest of madness.*
> *You were brave in that holy war.*
> *You have all the honourable wounds*
> *Of one who has tried to find love*
> *Where the Beautiful Bird*
> *Does not drink.*
> *May I speak to you*
> *Like we are close*
> *And locked away together?*
> *Once I found a stray kitten*
> *And I used to soak my fingers*
> *In warm milk;*
> *It came to think I was five mothers*
> *On one hand.*
> *Wayfarer,*
> *Why not rest your tired body?*
> *Lean back and close your eyes.*
> *Come morning*
> *I will kneel by your side and feed you.*
> *I will so gently*
> *Spread open your mouth*
> *And let you taste something of my*
> *Sacred mind and life.*
> *Surely*
> *There is something wrong*
> *With your ideas of*
> *God*
> *O, surely there is something wrong*
> *With your ideas of*
> *God*
> *If you think*
> *Our Beloved would not be so*
> *Tender.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"You Were Brave In That Holy War" from **The Gift*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 1999\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Hafiz and the Inside-Out Understanding
There's a bit in Matt Haig's book, *Reasons to Stay Alive*, where he says happiness isn't good for the economy, because if we were all happy with what we had, none of us would fall for any of the fear-based marketing ploys that humanity is immersed in.
It's true. And it points to something about the nature of our experience. When we mistakenly believe that the world of form—‘stuff’, for want of a better word—is the source of our happiness, well of course it makes sense to get more stuff!
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ****always** doing what makes sense.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 10: To Build A Swing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-10/
Last updated: 2026-05-18T18:01:24.000Z
> **TO BUILD A SWING**
> *You carry*
> *All the ingredients*
> *To turn your life into a nightmare—*
> *Don’t mix them!*
> *You have all the genius*
> *To build a swing in your backyard*
> *For God.*
> *That sounds*
> *Like a hell of a lot more fun.*
> *Let’s start laughing, drawing blueprints.*
> *Gathering our talented friends.*
> *I will help you*
> *With my divine lyre and drum.*
> *Hafiz*
> *Will sing a thousand words*
> *You can take into your hands,*
> *Like golden saws,*
> *Silver hammers,*
> *Polished teakwood,*
> *Strong silk rope.*
> *You carry all the ingredients*
> *to turn your existence into joy,*
> *Mix them, mix them!*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"To Build A Swing" from **The Gift*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 1999\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## The easy way, or the hard way?
Welcome to the new year!
How should we play this, then: the easy way or the hard way?
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 9: So You Can Plant More Wheat
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-9/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:01:20.000Z
> **SO YOU CAN PLANT MORE WHEAT**
> *I would like to remove some rocks*
> *From your field*
> *So that you can plant more wheat.*
> *And those hills I see that are part of you,*
> *I have some trees in mind for them*
> *And flowering grasses, so that you won't erode*
> *When the elements pour.*
> *Are we not lovers?*
> *Cannot I speak to you*
> *Like this?*
> *Do I need to ask your permission*
> *To hitch up my ox and sing to him*
> *As I improve your vast terrain?*
> *The title to your heart came to my office.*
> *In looking at it*
> *A great interest in your soul developed.*
> *The care of your soul*
> *Became mine.*
> *So I would like to remove some stones*
> *From your meadows;*
> *Then an orchard you could grow,*
> *And the world,*
> *And the world then,*
> *Will come to taste*
> *Your riches.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"So You Can Plant More Wheat" from **A Year with Hafiz*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2011\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## The Guide
Today’s poem might be the best description of Innate Health coaching I have ever come across.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 8: This Talking Rag
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-8/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:42:23.000Z
> **THIS TALKING RAG**
> *It was all*
> *So clear*
> *This morning,*
> *My mind and heart had never felt*
> *More convinced:*
> *There is only God,*
> *A Great Wild*
> *God.*
> *But somehow I got yanked from*
> *That annihilating*
> *Realisation*
> *And can now appear again*
> *As this wine-stained*
> *Talking*
> *Rag.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"This Talking Rag" from **The Gift*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 1999\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Doing the spiritual hokey-cokey
We slip in and out of our wellbeing. It's human nature.
At heart, it seems this is what it is to be human: to flip-flop between seeing it:
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 7: I Know The Way You Can Get
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-7/
Last updated: 2026-05-18T17:59:12.000Z
> **I KNOW THE WAY YOU CAN GET**
> *I know the way you can get*
> *When you have not had a drink of Love:*
> *Your face hardens*
> *Your sweet muscles cramp.*
> *Children become concerned*
> *About a strange look that appears in your eyes*
> *Which even begins to worry your own mirror*
> *And nose.*
> *Squirrels and birds sense your sadness*
> *And call an important conference in a tall tree.*
> *They decide which secret code to chant*
> *To help your mind and soul.*
> *Even angels fear that brand of madness*
> *That arrays itself against the world*
> *And throws sharp stones and spears into*
> *The innocent*
> *And into one’s self.*
> *O I know the way you can get*
> *If you have not been out drinking Love:*
> *You might rip apart*
> *Every sentence your friends and teachers say,*
> *Looking for hidden clauses.*
> *You might weigh every word on a scale*
> *Like a dead fish.*
> *You might pull out a ruler to measure*
> *From every angle in your darkness*
> *The beautiful dimensions of a heart you once*
> *Trusted.*
> *I know the way you can get*
> *If you have not had a drink from Love’s*
> *Hands.*
> *That is why all the Great Ones speak of*
> *The vital need*
> *To keep remembering God,*
> *So you will come to know and see Him*
> *As being so Playful*
> *And Wanting,*
> *Just Wanting to help.*
> *That is why Hafiz says:*
> *Bring your cup near me,*
> *For I am a Sweet Old Vagabond*
> *With an Infinite Leaking Barrel*
> *Of Light and Laughter and Truth*
> *That the Beloved has tied to my back.*
> *Dear one,*
> *Indeed, please bring your heart near me.*
> *For all I care about*
> *Is quenching your thirst for freedom!*
> *All a sane man can ever care about*
> *Is giving Love!*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"I Know The Way You Can Get" from **I Heard God Laughing*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2006\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## The vital need
Another favourite (who am I kidding, they’re all favourites)!
How much time do we spend lost with those *“ten thousand things that do not matter”*?
How often do we beat ourselves up, layering one fresh coat of thought on top of another, until we find ourselves encased in a brittle prison of our own making?
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 6: Out Of The Mouths Of A Thousand Birds
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-6/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:40:54.000Z
> **OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF A THOUSAND BIRDS**
> *Listen—*
> *Listen more carefully to what is around you*
> *Right now.*
> *In my world*
> *There are the bells from the clanks*
> *Of the morning milk drums,*
> *And a wagon wheel outside my window*
> *Just hit a bump*
> *Which turned into an ecstatic chorus*
> *Of the Beloved's Name.*
> *There is the Prayer Call*
> *Rising up like the sun*
> *Out of the mouths of a thousand birds.*
> *There is an astonishing vastness*
> *Of movement and Life*
> *Emanating sounds and light*
> *From my folded hands*
> *And my even quieter simple being and heart.*
> *My dear,*
> *Is it true that your mind*
> *Is sometimes like a battering ram*
> *Running all through the city,*
> *Shouting so madly inside and out*
> *About the ten thousand things*
> *That do not matter?*
> *Hafiz, too,*
> *For many years beat his head in youth*
> *And thought himself at a great distance,*
> *Far from an armistice*
> *With God.*
> *But that is why this scarred old pilgrim*
> *Has now become such a sweet rare vintage*
> *Who weeps and sings for you.*
> *That is why Hafiz will forever in his verse*
> *Play his cymbal and call to you.*
> *O listen—*
> *To what is inside of you right now.*
> *In my world*
> *All that remains is the wondrous call to*
> *Dance and prayer*
> *Rising up like a thousand suns*
> *Out of the the mouth of a*
> *Single bird.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Out Of The Mouths Of A Thousand Birds" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Listening for insight
This is one of my favourites—if not my actual favourite—as it covers the full gamut of the human experience, and how to wring every last drop out of it.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 5: If It Is Not Too Dark
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-5/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:40:28.000Z
> **IF IT IS NOT TOO DARK**
> *Go for a walk, if it is not too dark.*
> *Get some fresh air, try to smile.*
> *Say something kind*
> *To a safe-looking stranger, if one happens by.*
> *Always exercise your heart's knowing.*
> *You might as well attempt something real*
> *Along this path:*
> *Take your spouse or lover into your arms*
> *The way you did when you first met.*
> *Let tenderness pour from your eyes*
> *The way the Sun gazes warmly on the earth.*
> *Play a game with some children.*
> *Extend yourself to a friend.*
> *Sing a few ribald songs to your pets and plants—*
> *Why not let them get drunk and wild!*
> *Let's toast*
> *Every rung we've climbed on Evolution's ladder.*
> *Whisper,* “I love you! I love you!”
> *To the whole mad world.*
> *Let's stop reading about God—*
> *We will never understand Him.*
> *Jump to your feet, wave your fists,*
> *Threaten and warn the whole Universe*
> *That your heart can no longer live*
> *Without real love!*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"If It Is Not Too Dark" from **I Heard God Laughing*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2006\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Practical considerations
Let's get practical for a moment. How exactly are we supposed to live from this place of divinity that Hafiz is always harping on about?
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 4: Pulling Out The Chair
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-4/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:40:06.000Z
> **PULLING OUT THE CHAIR**
> *Pulling out the chair*
> *Beneath your mind*
> *And watching you fall upon God —*
> *What else is there*
> *For Hafiz to do*
> *That is any fun in this world!*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Pulling Out The Chair" from **I Heard God Laughing*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2006\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Simple mechanics
I think poetry may have been the 14th Century equivalent of coaching. For the further I go, the more I see the process as being one of paring everything back to its indivisible elements, and then building on the resulting, firmer foundations.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 3: Damn Thirsty
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-3/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:59:59.000Z
> **DAMN THIRSTY**
> First
> The fish needs to say,
> *“Something ain’t right about this*
> *Camel ride —*
> *And I’m*
> *Feeling so damn*
> *Thirsty.”*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Damn Thirsty" from **The Gift*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 1999\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Escaping a trap
> **Q:** What's the first thing you need to know, in order to escape a trap?
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 2: Where Dolphins Dance
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-2/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:39:15.000Z
> **WHERE DOLPHINS DANCE**
> *Again, the work starts*
> *As soon as you open your eyes*
> *In the morning.*
> *Hopefully you got*
> *Some good rest last night.*
> *Why go into the city or the fields*
> *Without first kissing*
> *The Friend*
> *Who always stands at your door?*
> *It takes only a second.*
> *Habits are human nature—*
> *Why not create some that will mint Gold?*
> *Your arms are violin bows*
> *Always moving*
> *I have become very conscious upon*
> *Whom we all play.*
> *Thus my eyes have filled with warm*
> *Soft oceans of divine music*
> *Where jewelled dolphins dance*
> *Then leap into this World.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Where Dolphins Dance" from **The Subject Tonight is Love*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2003\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
##
## Focus on the formless
Hafiz invites us to step back from the mundane—all the things we *think* are so important—and spend just a moment of each day connecting to our divinity.
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### 12 Days of Hafiz. Day 1: Who Wants Those?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2024-day-1/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T09:39:26.000Z
Over the holidays, I'm going to share a poem a day with you, from the peerless poet Hafiz (full name *Shams-ud-din Muhammad Hafez)*, and explore how each one relates to the Innate Health understanding.
Hafiz was a 14th Century poet from Shiraz, Persia, who spent his life on the path to enlightenment, writing about it and incurring the wrath of the authorities (who saw his brand of wisdom blasphemous).
He writes a lot of ‘God,’ but do not let this deter you, as his God is a synonym for Innate Health.
For wisdom, for ‘true self’, intuition, the intelligence and energy of life itself – for pure love.
As such, it's what we all have dwelling at our core, when we get our ‘little mind’ or ego out of the way. (To suggest that we *are* God is what continued to get him into trouble!)
His poetry is so great, I can't keep it to myself. So without further ado, here's Hafiz…
> **WHO WANTS THOSE?**
> *I am at a juncture now where I never have to be serious again.*
> *If I act that way – sober and concerned about something… it is just a charade.*
> *For people who are serious, well, let's face it… they seem to have lots of problems.*
> *And who wants those?*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Who Wants Those?" from **A Year with Hafiz*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2011\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
## Hafiz on ‘problems’
For me, this is the promise of the Innate Health understanding – because we all act serious from time to time, ***when we're caught up in our thinking.***
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### Stop trying to change your behaviour
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/stop-trying-to-change-your-behaviour/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T10:39:32.000Z
It’s fair to say that most people who end up in my practice want to change something. Often, that something is a behaviour.
I’m happy to help, but there’s almost always a fair bit of un-learning to do first.
Because somewhere along the line, we’ve got it into our heads that to change a behaviour, we need to work on the behaviour itself.
Try and wrestle change out of it.
Catch ourselves when we’re doing it, and STOP doing it.
Or maybe we’ve caught a whiff of this thing called ‘thought’ being the issue, so then the mind jumps in and says,
> 📦🗣️: *“Right, I need to think differently about this when it happens. Find a way to re-frame these situations.”*
Doing, doing, doing… we’re such busy little bees, aren’t we?
🐝
But have (yet) another look at the very first Key Message I share with clients and groups alike, when I work through the [FOUNDATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/#:~:text=01%20FOUNDATIONS,-Looking%20in%20a) of my 4-step change process:
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ****ALWAYS** doing what makes sense to us
Just reflect on that statement for a moment.
(I showed it to a group for the first time, just the other day, and there was something of a stunned silence, as they processed its obviousness.)
Can you see the *utter* futility of trying to change what you do?
Once the mind-body is coming up with a response in the form of a behaviour, that’s that. It’s done. It’s there. There’s no going back.
(It would be like trying to get eggs [back out of an omelette](https://www.gilespcroft.com/already-accepted/).)
No, we change the *second* bit of that statement: **‘what makes sense’**.
And the only way that happens, is through insight.
We get a shift in perspective. We *see* something new about the nature of experience, and the mind-body’s response is consequently different.
The old behaviour no longer makes sense… and it [goes away](https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/).
As I have heard said, many times, of this work,
> *“It’s not magic, but is sure as hell feels magical!”*
✨
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Insight, and the capacity for insightPreviously unimagined change… it’s quite literally just “one thought away” 😵The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/)
### Old dog, new tricks
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/old-dog-new-tricks/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T19:37:15.000Z
There’s no better place to watch the mechanics of change happening than in kids.
They say ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’ (which, incidentally, is nonsense) and I suppose the corollary of that is that the young pups are constantly evolving.
Not just in the domain of skills, but also in the domain of behaviour.
As any parent will confirm.
Where it gets really interesting is when you realise you’ve got a little Zen master living with you, though at times I’ll grant it may not look like that.
*(Zen’s not about sitting around quietly, BTW.)*
## **“What, the curtains?”**
For a time, *Croftus Minimus* set some very clear boundaries around the living room curtains and TV watching.
What surely started as a perfectly reasonable shutting out of low, late-afternoon sun rays bouncing off the screen, quickly became a rigid, non-negotiable rule: the curtains *must* be closed *whenever* I am in residence in front of the gogglebox.
And, as any parent will confirm, when rigid, non-negotiable rules created by little people get alluded to, discussed, challenged or in any way negotiated—however gently, lovingly, or reasonably—there’s pushback.
*(And when I say ‘pushback’, I mean total and utter meltdowns with tears and screaming.)*
😩
It was quite the thing, for a while. Whatever the weather, whatever the time of day, the living room (a shared space we traverse, on the way to the kitchen) had to be in total darkness whenever she was in there.
Non-negotiable.
This scenario was all made worse by the fact that these are big long curtains she couldn’t close herself, so we were made complicit in the behaviour each time, consigning ourselves to a life of darkness by turning the living room into one third of the household’s private cinema 🤨
I gotta say, neither of the remaining two-thirds of the household enjoyed this state of affairs one bit, and we tried lots of different ways of tackling this; *trying* to change the behaviour.
Utterly fruitless. Nearly broke us.
## **A change of script**
Let’s be clear what’s going on here.
There’s a little invisible script being run, by the M.E.C. (Munchkin Ego Construct 📦) creating rules like *‘I need x in order to be ok’* that she was powerless to control.
It had grabbed its initial assessment of the experience—*Ooh, this is so much better when there’s no light reflecting off the screen!*—and innocently attached that good feeling to the state of **CURTAINS: CLOSED**.
Maybe it had happened a couple of days in a row, who knows? And minds being minds, that fictitious little outside-in pattern had been set.
But the rule’s not true, it’s not based in reality, it’s just a mind, trying to control experience, after the fact.
And then, one day, many, *many* months later, it just changed. It no longer bothered her and she stopped asking for us to close the curtains, as part of the TV-watching ritual.
Nothing to do with how much light was outside or anything. Her mind had simply stopped running the script about it and the behaviour changed.
## **Yes, you too.**
It’s the same with us. It’s all natural. It’s all just the mind running scripts; creating invisible, fictitious, outside-in *‘I need x,y,z in order to be ok’* beliefs in the background, manifesting in our behaviour.
Don’t try and change the behaviour, honestly, you’ll break yourself.
And of course, even reading that, your mind will probably be having screaming fits and it will look like I’m asking you to consign yourself to a life of darkness.
But it can, and will, change.
Can I explain it? Not really, no.
Just that if you create the conditions for the mind to drop away some of its invisible beliefs (love & understanding are good starting points) it will do it.
That ability is built in. It’s one of the best bits about the human operating system.
The young pups seem to ride that wave of change—Zen masters, see?—whereas us old dogs think we know better.
Maybe that’s what they mean?
💟
Giles
p.s. the observant among you will have spotted the Monty Python quote — ‘What, the curtains?’ — taken from [one of the funniest bits of the Holy Grail](https://youtu.be/g3YiPC91QUk?ref=gilespcroft.com). Me and my daughter have acted this one out together, many, many times, with much hilarity! 😂
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://gilespcroft.com/unnecessary-habits/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
What if unwanted habits weren't a signal that something was wrong with you? What if they're actually a **solution*, brought to life by the mind, trying to solve a problem that **it* created in the first place? 😳
Over in the ****Premium Membership** 🔖 we look at the notion of “****Unnecessary Habits**” and see how the way to ditch unwanted habits isn't willpower, but insight ✨
Includes:
✒️ Magazine-calibre article
🎙️ Audio narrated version.
[TAKE A LOOK NOW ](https://gilespcroft.com/unnecessary-habits/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### This is not a philosophy
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-not-a-philosophy/
Last updated: 2026-06-11T09:44:09.000Z
I’m always mildly amused when someone refers to what I point to, and the work I do as ‘a philosophy’.
As if it’s something I choose.
Like, I wake up and encounter the first situation of the day and think,
> *“Right, must remember to apply the philosophy of Innate Health to this. I get good results with that.”*
Crazy talk.
I might as well look at my socks on the floor and choose to apply the ‘philosophy’ of gravity to picking them up!
> *“Today, I shall be believing in gravity!”*
😂
The etymology of the word philosophy is from the Greek *philo–* (loving) + *sophis* (wisdom), and as far as I can tell, ‘wisdom’ doesn’t have any form, or structure, or rules.
But the general understanding of ‘philosophy’ that I encounter most is a set of rules, or beliefs. A practice. A way of doing things. A philosophy.
But guys…
- I’m not interested in rules. It’s rules (or invisible beliefs) around ways-of-being that keep us stuck.
- I don’t want you to spend time with these Daily Reminders and ‘try’ to ‘take on’ what you read, as a belief. Stop it!
- And there’s nothing to practice regularly, that I know of (because that would constitute a rule, surely)?
What I point to each day, and try to make more visible for you, are [principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/) (just like gravity, only not as obvious).
Impersonal, universal, constant, unchanging principles.
Principles that you cannot be separate from.
You don’t get to choose.
This is the reality you inhabit.
And just like you don’t have to solve, figure out, apply, remember, fix or *try* with gravity—because you’ve just seen how it works for yourself, and you live your life, operating *with* that understanding—it’s the same with your untouchable wellbeing, and the fact that [your feelings are a reflection of thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/), not your circumstances.
You just live your life, operating with that understanding. (And the more you do, the more you’ll see.)
So if you catch your mind making out like there’s something to *do* with any of these pointers, give it the day off, will you?
It is Sunday, after all.
💟
Giles
p.s. If you’re still all, *“WTF, Giles?!”* then have a read of this one next, as it really sets the context for the whole website 👇🏻
[The journeyThe 4-step process we all go through, on the path to an easier life 🥰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-journey/)
Identify where you're at, and choose some curated Daily Reminders for that point of the journey
### Seeing the path
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/seeing-the-path/
Last updated: 2025-11-21T07:56:54.000Z
Out walking & talking and it was dank as you like. Quiet and still. (I feel compelled to use the word “ethereal”.)
A visible mist connected all objects together (how apt).
Anyway, we could seldom see the path. And I know this hill like the back of my hand, but we were engrossed in conversation and my attention was 100% on that and there came a point when I turned to my client and 'fessed up:
> *“I have no idea where we are right now, by the way. I don't know where this leads. Shall we continue?”*
---
It brought to mind a litany of quotes about our path through life, towards some destination or other that we feel pulled towards. Here’s a selection for you:
❝
> **“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”**
\~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
❝
> **“If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress.”**
\~ Barack Obama
❝
> **“I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it.”**
\~ Rosalia de Castro
❝
> **“Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions hitherto unexplored.”**
\~ Abraham Lincoln
❝
> **“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.”**
\~ Martin Luther King Jr.
---
How many times do you have to hear so many different people say the same thing, before you start taking it seriously?
⚠️
****You don't need to see the path.**
So many of us stop ourselves in our tracks because we “can't see the way” or “can't see how.”
➤ Of course you can't see the way – it's not been created yet!
➤ Of course you can't see how – you've not discovered that yet!
Moment to moment, you do one small thing that advances your cause. That's it. That's all it takes.
Introduce a variable. Reassess. Introduce a variable. Reassess. And watch what happens.
One more quote and I've saved the best 'til last. Joseph Campbell, one of my heroes, who has informed my career-change work maybe more than any other:
❝
> **“You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or a path, it is someone else's path - you are not on your own path. If you follow someone else's way, you are not going to realise your potential.”**
\~ Joseph Campbell
Enjoy the journey.
💟
Giles
### Circumstances, moods, chickens and eggs
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/circumstances-moods-chickens-and-eggs/
Last updated: 2026-08-03T19:41:48.000Z
When we’re thinking about moods, the mood we’re in matters.
(Read that again.)
Because someone once asked me (while they were in a bit of a low mood):
> *“Why do we spend so much time in negativity? Why isn't it easier to get out of our low moods?”*
Which is a great question… *when* we’re in a low mood.
I bet you’ve asked it yourself.
But are you open to the idea that this is the Thought-reality of a low state of consciousness, and that when you're in a higher state of consciousness, a different Thought-reality will be created?
🤔
That it'll all look easy and straightforward and you'll wonder what the hell you were thinking?
😳
That it’s not the circumstances creating your mood, it’s your mood painting a pretty ropey-looking picture of the situation?
😐
A gentle reminder:
🔑
****Key Message**: 100% of our feelings come from the ****Principle of Thought** (and 0% come from our circumstances)
Honestly, low mood thinking is sooooooo seductive. Its siren song will have you on the rocks in no time.
Best not to listen to *that* stuff.
I’m reminded of one of my all time favourite Richard Carlson quotes:
> ***“Remember, it’s not your life that has suddenly changed for the worse in the past hour; it’s your mood.”***
Keep it simple, be aware.
Think less, live more.
😘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Trauma and triggers
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/trauma-and-triggers/
Last updated: 2025-12-19T07:26:02.000Z
> *“This is maybe theeeeeee best thing I've read about trauma!!! It honestly was an aha moment for me. It's brilliant - thank you x”* \~ TJ.
Sometimes we’ll observe the mind-body behaving in a certain way, when faced with a certain situation.
And if it’s a behaviour that the mind has labelled as ‘not good’ then we’ll call this a ‘trigger’.
(You could consider it a running of the mind’s ‘[Never](https://www.gilespcroft.com/buying-a-ticket-to-neverland/)’and ‘[Always](https://www.gilespcroft.com/always/)’ algorithms, but one where we’re not conscious of the thought, but rather we observe things happening a bit further downstream, at the level of feeling, or further still, at behaviour.)
Examples…
- *“That family member ‘always’ triggers me,”* we might say, or just observe a certain behaviour of ours occurring regularly, when around them
- *“I get triggered at work when x, y or z happens.”*
- *“I find situation a, b or c to be profoundly triggering.”*
## **So what’s going on here?**
Well, you might not be surprised to learn that it’s a habitual pattern of thought, that’s all.
Not the content of *what* you’re thinking (don’t go all self-blamey here; we don’t do that here at the Daily Reminders), but *how* the mind’s using The Principle of Thought.
It’s [algorithmic](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-pedantry-of-the-mind/).
Using its data-in, data-out, if-this-then-that model, the mind perceives incoming data, pattern matches against what it holds in memory, projects into the future and hey presto, faster than the blink of an eye, we’re experiencing a thought/feeling combination we might call ‘fear’, or we’re observing the mind-body:
- moving in a particular way
- tensing in a particular way
- even hurting in a particular way
(This is what they mean when they say ‘trauma is held in the body’.)
## **And what to do about that?**
I’m not sure there *is* anything to do about that, but to understand what’s going on, and not be freaked out by it. To see that it’s not true, here and now, in reality.
It’s the mind, creating a scary story (that you probably aren’t even aware of, at least at first) and then believing its own story to be actual reality.
You don’t have to take what the mind does, seriously. (If we do; if we push back or resist it, it tends to hang around for longer.)
It’s just a mind, doing what a mind does.
🤷🏻♂️
Here's something though – an easily overlooked piece of this annoying little puzzle, that might help.
Understand that it’s on your side.
💡
****It genuinely** ***thinks** **it’s keeping you safe.**
Once, when you were little and this pattern got established, it really will have been a good idea; a means to keep that little organism alive and unharmed to the best of its ability (with its little-organism-mind’s understanding of life at that time).
But the mind and the mind’s responses are not where safety comes from.
We learned in [yesterday's Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-zone-of-safety/)*,* that the experience of **Safety = Now**.
It’s the mind keeping you trapped in these trauma responses.
And it's the light of insight that will allow you to escape.
## **A personal example**
I was once out riding my bike, having fun bezzing down back country lanes at great speed, when I came through a tiny village (no more than a few houses) in the middle of nowhere, with a blind corner.
I think I’m probably always at least *partially* mindful of traffic, and given that this was a left hander on a narrow road, I was hugging the near-side wall quite tightly. You never know what’s coming round the next bend, and it makes sense to give everyone as much room as possible.
To my surprise—and to the jogger’s, who was heading in the opposite direction on the road (there was no pavement), hugging that very same piece of wall—it was another person!! And we both found that the space we were about to enter, was already occupied.
Collision imminent!! 💥🤕
Not something I’d anticipated, or ever could have, really, but the mind-body is a truly wondrous machine when it’s operating in the Now, and without any analysis or planning I quite easily made a micro-adjustment, swerving to miss her in a split second (we both yelled *“Sorry!”* in unison; people are nice) and going about my day, as did she, no doubt.
## **A ‘trauma response’**
Now, here’s the thing.
I’ve been back through that village many times since, and you know what happens when I get to that corner?
I drift out from the wall by a fraction, just in case she’s there again 😂🤣
(You could say that this particular corner ‘triggers’ the G.E.C. or 📦 Giles Ego Construct.)
The mind observed that situation happening, and it’s now convinced that it has to try and keep me safe by avoiding colliding into someone who’s no longer there.
Bonkers!
In fact, it’s getting (at least) **three** things completely round its neck:
**1.**
It’s totally overlooked the fact that the chances of that happening again on the same corner are so infinitesimally small, they’re essentially nil.
**2.**
It’s also failed to acknowledge that on every ride I go on, there are several hundred *other* corners where this might happen, and it never plans to meet a pedestrian on *any* of those.
**3.**
Most crucially—and this one’s the kicker—it’s somewhat conveniently forgotten that when the incident happened, **it was not involved in keeping me safe in that moment.**
At all!!
😲
In fact, it’s the other way round: it was the *absence* of analysis, planning, daydreaming, distraction or any other kind of conscious mind activity that enabled the fully-present micro-adjustment to be made and the collision to be avoided in the first place!!
## **The mind, doing its thing**
But no, the mind’s gone and done what minds do, and when it observed that the outcome was ‘good’:
🤓
It’s gone and taken the credit for something it didn't do.
And it wants to feel like it’s doing a good job, so it’s going to furnish me with an unnecessary micro-adjustment of my line, every time I round that damned corner. 🤨
(Conversely, had you noticed that when the mind observes a ‘bad’ outcome, it’s quick to get itself off the hook; effortlessly creating another identity it calls ‘YOU’ and blaming *that* instead!!! 😂)
## **How I’ve responded**
Having seen what’s going on here—the [MECHANICS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mechanics/) that underpin this experience—it *feels* like I now have a choice.
On the many occasions I have since rounded that fateful corner, I have observed that:
- Sometimes I resist the urge, and carry on hugging the corner
- Sometimes I go with the urge to drift out and chuckle to myself
- Sometimes I deliberately micro-adjust the *following* corner instead, just for a laugh
- And at some point, I may even forget it ever happened.
Although it doesn’t seem like I'll forget, as I type this – and the fact I’m writing about it is only going to solidify it as a thing!
I’m definitely *open* to the idea of forgetting, but like so many ‘traumatic’ incidents, the memory often remains.
Most importantly, **none of it is a problem**.
It’s a gift! A ‘helpful’ mind, responding to life in that clutzy way a mind does, getting ideas above its station.
Big deal!
## **The bottom line**
Your experience of life is governed by [Principles](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/principles/), which means that **the exact same process is in play** with all of these things you’ve been told to label as ‘triggers’.
- Many years ago, the mind observed you, in a moment of presence, following your gut to take action and stay safe
- It then falsely took credit for that in-the-moment-wisdom
- It’s now trying to be helpful by offering the same old solution, when it’s not required
- The more you can see this, the less of a hold it will have over you.
With so much love.
💟
Giles
### **Your next read**
[When you’re readyHealing doesn’t always mean an end to experiencing past traumas. It \*does\* mean that experience changes 💗The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-youre-ready/)
### Your zone of safety
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-zone-of-safety/
Last updated: 2026-07-03T09:00:30.000Z
The quickest of insights for your today – about safety.
(Not physical safety, but the *feeling* of safety that we all seek.)
If it's something we're seeking, then where do we find it?
It's very simple: the feeling of safety is to be found Now.
💡
**Now and safety are the same thing.**
The feeling of safety cannot be conditional, since the conditions that the mind places on a feeling (any feeling) can never be met.
Because those conditions are in the future, and the future cannot be experienced (it’s a thought).
It’s actually the mind’s stories that *create* the feeling of un-safety, or insecurity.
🤷🏻♂️
It's a bit of a head-scratcher that one, so just let it percolate for the rest of today, as an idea:
> **Safety = Now.**
And if you find your mind objecting vociferously, that’s fine, it’s what minds do.
Let its objection drift on through, and go back to the feeling of security.
💝
Giles
Premium 🔖 content
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-place-of-safety/)
For ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers** there's a deeper look at the notion of safety, what is is, and how we can feel more of it, regardless of circumstance. It comes in both written and audio-narrated forms, and is called **A Place Of Safety.*
[Read & Listen to the Article Now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-place-of-safety/)
### Is it ‘ok to not be ok’?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-it-ok-to-not-be-ok/
Last updated: 2025-12-10T18:38:21.000Z
A curious phrase someone asked me to unpack, from an Innate Health perspective.
*‘It’s ok to not be ok’* gets bandied around a lot in mental health circles, but what does it actually *mean?*
Well, the way I see it, it can mean whatever ‘you’ (i.e. the R.E.C. or Reader Ego Construct 📦) want it to mean.
And as always, this depends on where you’re coming from.
## **The Outside-In view**
If you’re living in a world where it looks like your feelings (including those of ‘not being ok’) come from external circumstances, such as relationships, work, the news, world events or the weather, then my friend, you’re in for a rocky ride.
We don’t have any control over those things, so it’s going to look like you’re a victim of circumstance.
In this case, the state of ‘not being ok’ takes on semi-permanence and an air of self-defeat, and life’s going to look like quite the chore!
## **The Inside-Out view**
If, however, you’ve seen that 100% of your feelings come from the thought-created reality that’s being brought to life by consciousness, moment to moment, then any feelings of ‘not being ok’ are transient and rooted in innocent misunderstanding.
Here, ‘it’s okay to not be okay’ is not about resigning to yourself to the general shitness-of-life, but about acknowledging that uncomfortable feelings are natural and temporary.
Our wellbeing, or Innate Health, is never at risk—it’s who we are and it’s untouchable!—therefore any feelings of ‘not ok’ are a fleeting reflection of ‘not ok’ thoughts, and they’ll pass.
In this case, the state of ‘not being ok’ is transient and fosters self-compassion and acceptance: you’re human, you get caught up in the mind’s stories from time to time, big deal, now are we having eggs for breakfast, or what?
🍳
## **The clue’s in the title**
For me, the phrase ‘It’s ok to not be ok’ is a misnomer. It’s simply not possible to not ***be*** ok.
Being = OK.
They’re synonymous.
Maybe we should lobby for a change in the phrase, to ‘It’s ok to not *feel* ok.’
Who do I write to?
💟
Giles
### A place of safety 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-place-of-safety/
Last updated: 2026-07-03T09:02:16.000Z
**If we can see that feelings of safety are not dependent on specific circumstances, we're able to tackle any situation with peace, clarity and wisdom.*
***Premium Written & Audio Content**
🔖
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### Opinions, beliefs and facts
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/opinions-beliefs-and-facts/
Last updated: 2026-09-01T21:17:56.000Z
It’s a fairly well received notion that ‘opinions aren’t fact’.
(I mean there’s that funny saying about them being like a certain part of your anatomy, isn’t there: everyone’s got one!)
But what about beliefs?
Aren't beliefs just opinions, by any other name?
🤔
Beliefs aren’t facts. They can’t be. They’re just thoughts, and thought’s not fact.
Even a memory is not fact.
(Plenty of studies have been done demonstrating that [what we remember is the last time we remember](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-fallibility-of-memory/), not an accurate facsimile of the actual event.)
Memory’s just thought, as well
Pfffft, it’s enough to make your head spin!
What’s true? What’s fact?
---
**What's fact is right Now.**
Not what you think and feel *about* right now—that's opinion/belief too—but the spiritual principles that are bringing to life those beliefs & opinions.
The very fact that you’re *having* an experience.
Who you really are: Consciousness witnessing all of this being brought to life; all this activity.
---
> *“What good is that?!”*
…I hear you cry.
Ahh, now that’s exactly what a mind *would* say, isn’t it? 📦
😉
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The past-creating presentI can only hope this one messes with your head as much as it did mine 🤪The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-past-creating-present/)
More time-based shenanigans
### The storm before the calm
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/storm-before-the-calm/
Last updated: 2026-05-14T19:08:38.000Z
Do you worry about events that are coming up; how they’ll go?
Do you think it would be better if you *didn’t* worry?
Whether it’s a presentation, an interview, a difficult conversation, a meeting, a test, an exam or even having to leave the house when you’re not used to doing that, it looks like what *should* happen, if we’re even just a *little* bit self-aware, is that we *wouldn’t* be worrying, yeah?
> *Isn’t that what we’re working towards here, Giles? I mean, isn't that the strapline for these *Daily Reminders* and haven't I seen it appearing in your email signature: “Worry less, live more,” or something?*
(Oh, hang on, rewind. I forgot to append the little red flag to that word, ‘[should](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/)’ 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩)
---
I was having a coaching conversation with someone who was super-nervous about an upcoming work assessment, in front of a panel. There was a fair bit riding on it, they’d had bad experiences of assessments like these in the past and were getting themselves in a right state over it.
(Don’t pretend we haven’t all been there.)
They’d prepped and prepped some more, tried distracting themselves and giving themselves a good talking to, but nothing had helped, and what’s more, it looked like nothing could or *would* help, either.
There was a sense of doom hanging over the event. Like going over the top of a trench, into an unwinnable battle.
Convinced there was literally nothing they could do, they decided they’d attend the *last chance saloon* – i.e. me!
(Ha ha, I *love* being people’s last chance saloon. It makes for such rewarding work, bringing people back from the brink! 💘)
---
Together we got a bit curious about whether it might be wholly *appropriate* to be nervous right now, several days out from the assessment.
🤔
There were very good reasons. It was an unknown. One way or another, there’d be consequences. There were a whole load of missing details for the mind to fill in, and that’s what it was doing, creating a feeling of anxiety as it did so.
Everything was in perfect working order, as far as I could tell. No dis-order there.
Essentially - this person didn’t *need* to be calm, right now. Right now, there were nerves. And that was fine.
What was really killing them though, was the mind’s insistence that this feeling would persist all the way up to, and through the interview, in which case it would be a disaster.
Ah, now that’s a different matter. That could actually be “the problem”… making things *far* worse.
---
I’ve said before, that [wisdom is contextual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-is-contextual/). You tend to get what you need, when you need it.
- *Before* some planned event, with an unknown outcome: anxiety is common.
- *During* said event: well, it’s my experience (and yours too, I’m sure) that focus usually shows up.
Between us, we looked in a bit more depth at how we can only experience the Now, and how when the time came, they’d know what to do, and they’d do it, *then*. It didn’t matter what was happening in *this* moment!
(As an assessment/interview-type scenario we figured: be present, listen fully to whatever was being said, and respond appropriately using the prep that had been done.)
🔑
****Key Message**: Your felt experience of life is only **ever* happening Now
Ironically, settling in to the [MECHANICS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mechanics/) of what was going on like this, brought my client the stillness they’d been looking for, right there and then on the call.
As soon as they realised it was ok to be anxious in advance… the anxiety dissolved.
🤷🏻♂️
---
Funnily enough, the assessment got postponed for a month—*“All my anxiety was for nothing!”* (there’s something in that, too, isn’t there?)—which made us both laugh, but then a month later I got an excited message to let me know it all went smoothly and calmly and the interview was passed with flying colours.
All from really *seeing* the okayness of the storm before the calm.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS
[](#/portal/signup)
Want insightful content like this delivered to your inbox?
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Wisdom is contextualIf you can see your path laid out ahead of you… well then, it’s not your path. 🧭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-is-contextual/)
### Trying is lying
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/
Last updated: 2026-02-03T22:54:42.000Z
This turn of phrase made me laugh out loud when I first heard it (from the mouth of *missed-her-vocation-as-a-stand-up-comedian* Christine Heath at the 3 Principles conference this year).
Because on one level it sounds so wrong and yet in the right context it’s bang on the money.
What does it mean?
Well, as an example, a while ago, I wrote another [Sunday Spiritual](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sunday-spiritual/) Daily Reminder called ‘[Why acceptance seems so hard](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-acceptance-seems-so-hard/)’ where we looked at some of the ways that the mind tries to make sense of stuff it can’t *possibly* make sense of (but only because it’s something that’s got nothing to do with the mind).
Take the notion of ‘peace of mind’ for instance.
By definition, this is something that’s [experienced when the mind’s *not* involved](https://www.gilespcroft.com/youre-not-going-to-get-peace-of-mind/). ‘Trying’ to experience peace of mind therefore is an oxymoron.
You can’t consciously will away the thing that’s obstructing you, by using the thing itself!
😂
Ditto ‘trying’ to be more present. You already *are* present, so any ‘trying’ is just going to take you away from that.
In these contexts, ‘trying’ signifies the mind looking to take control of some process that it has no involvement in. It’s actually making matters worse, taking you further away from what you seek; hence ‘lying’.
---
Any time we catch ourselves *‘trying’* to do something—to be more present; manage our emotions; keep a level head; process our feelings; be more happy—we’re just using the wrong tool for the job, that’s all.
🚫
You can’t think yourself out of a thinking problem.
In the words of that famous fictional mystic, Yoda, replying to Luke Skywalker when he says he’ll *try* to use The Force to raise the sunken X-Wing out of the Dagobah swamp:
> *“Do or do not. There is no try.”*
Trying is lying.
😘
Giles
### Related
[Why acceptance seems so hardAcceptance \*is\* hard… when we’re trying to do it, with the mind. 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-acceptance-seems-so-hard/)
### Restless
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/restless/
Last updated: 2026-02-04T21:23:53.000Z
Saturdays I generally find myself washing the bike and doing any required maintenance, prior to Sunday’s big ride.
I don’t know why, but I’ve got into the habit of listening to New Order while I do so. It is my bike-maintenance music.
Minds, eh? 🤷🏻♂️
Anyway, there’s a track called *Restless*, and I think it’s just the perfect word for describing the mind.
Because it never rests, does it? You can be having a perfectly lovely, productive, chilled, enjoyable moment, just living your life, and the mind’s all like,
> 📦🗣️: *Whoa, hang on there now, fellah! This could definitely be better. Surely?*
And off it goes.
It just won’t rest.
That’s what the song is all about:
### RESTLESS
> *What can you buy that lifts a heavy heart up to the sky?*
> *What makes your day?*
> *What miracle of life has come to stay?*
> *I want a nice car. A girlfriend who’s as pretty as a star.*
> *I want respect. As much—as much!—as I can get.*
> *But how much do you need?*
> *How much, how much do you need?*
> *Restless. I feel so restless.*
It's a great song, you can have a listen to it here:
New Order - Restless (YouTube Audio)
0:00
/271.621224
1×
---
So, what’s the answer to this eternal restlessness?
- **Give it what it wants?** *(I think you’ll find, it’ll only ever want more. It’s restless, see?)*
- **Try and get it to shut up?** *(Ha! Good luck with that. Its nature is restlessness, so fat chance!)*
No, the answer is to see that it is simply of no concern to You. The only thing that’s ever concerned about the needy bleatings of a mind… is a mind itself.
(Minds are pretty dim like that - they can’t see that they're the source of their own restlessness 🙄)
**You**, on the other hand, are not restless.
(Note that in the lyric here, he doesn’t say “I *am* so restless” – it’s just an experience he’s having.)
Your [TRUE NATURE](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/) is peace. Presence.
Lovely, productive, chilled and enjoyable – that’s You, that is. You can’t escape that.
And the way out? Is to **quit the game**.
We *witness* the restlessness of the mind, shrug our shoulders, and get on with the real job of living a life of inner peace.
Enjoy your Saturday!
💟
Giles
p.s. You can listen to the whole album for free on YouTube here:
Visit New Order's YouTube Channel to listen to ****Music Complete**
### Waiting for a good feeling
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/waiting-for-a-good-feeling/
Last updated: 2026-01-15T21:36:23.000Z
There’s another little paradox around the inside-out understanding that it’s easy to trip up on, and it’s to do with ‘good’ feelings.
You see, you’ll often hear people like me pointing out how helpful it is to be in tune with our feelings, because they’re a really good indicator of what that trickster thought is doing, in the moment.
- So a feeling of stress is a reflection of stressful thinking… and can be let go
- The feeling of an [urge is just a thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/urges-are-just-thought/)… and it doesn’t have to be acted upon
- A feeling of anger is a reflection of angry thought… and it doesn’t have to be taken seriously.
None of these are rules, *per se* (there are no rules), but it’s good to know what’s going on. It gives us options, offers some perspective and helps us to understand our behaviours.
And while we’re on the very shaky ground of labelling emotions, a mind might look at the three examples above and consider those to be on the ‘bad’ side of the equation… leading to a [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com) slogan you might have heard, that can serve as a guide of sorts in these situations:
👀
“Look for a good feeling.”
Faaaaairly harmless and often actually very helpful, especially when stress, compulsive urges or anger have become a problematic feature of your life.
With me so far?
Good.
The thing is, minds are tricky little bastards that *do* like rules, in fact they *LOVE* rules!!
**Rules are the currency of the algorithmic mind.**
So when we’re engaged in work, or creativity or a project or our business and we come up against a difficult bit (which is often the very beginning, or the very end), what does the mind say to us, as it’s doing that ‘helpful’ thing of trying to guide us in our actions? You’ve guessed it:
> *“Hey! Look for a good feeling, before you start!”*
Which is a bit of a disaster, if we’re ever going to move forward on what it is we’re engaged in.
😩
---
The 3 Principles have **nothing** to say about what you should (🚩) or shouldn’t (🚩) do in *any* given situation - they’re just a description of how we experience life, moment to moment.
So when we feel stuck, productively, it’s good to know that that feeling of stuckness and resistance is a reflection of stuck, resistant thinking… and we don’t have to wait for a ‘good feeling’ to crack on.
In this week’s very short video clip, I bring this idea to life:
I hope you find it helpful.
Here’s to you having a productive day… whatever the feeling!
💟
Giles
### Related
[Inspiration is just a guideYou don’t have to wait for it, to act 🧭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inspiration-is-just-a-guide/)
### Life. It's basically intervals
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/life-its-basically-intervals/
Last updated: 2026-03-09T22:36:53.000Z
There comes a moment, every time I'm doing intervals on the turbo—*every* time—where I realise I'm getting in my own way.
The timer has started, I've upped the gears, stuck the music on louder, maybe got up out of the saddle at first, before slumping back down. I'm pedalling harder and my heart rate has started to go through the roof.
I hit my target power. Now to hold it there. Cruise in the zone.
But I'm not cruising at all. I'm fighting it.
I'm focused on the way my breath catches with each inhalation.
I'm really aware of the subtle, familiar pain of lactate building in my legs.
I can feel the panic rising within me: I can't do this for 10 minutes!
My breath is ragged. My face is contorted in a grimace. My neck and shoulders strain. I'm grasping the bars in a vice-like grip.
And then I see it. *Every* time.
👀
I see the way I'm fighting it. I see the way I'm making it way worse than it needs to be.
The interval is happening. I've committed to it.
The sensations are all there. But they can't damage me; not in any meaningful way.
I'm human. I'm built for this.
I suddenly relax into the sensations. Drop all the fight. Surrender to it.
Shoulders relax. Hands rest gently on the bars. Legs keep spinning. Breath deepens and slows. Heart rate comes down a smidge. Power output stays the same.
Mood rises: I like this!
My mind wanders, I revel in the same insight as always.
*This* insight.
The next time I look down, I'm over my target – at 11 minutes.
Might as well do 15, eh?
---
So often we fight the sensations of life.
Push our emotions away. Tense ourselves against them.
> *Oh god I'm just gonna have to get through this I don't know if I can…!* 😩
Relax.
Surrender. Commit to life.
It can't damage you; not in any meaningful way.
You're human. You're built for this.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Cycling - The Daily RemindersYou may think children are our best teachers, but actually it’s the humble bicycle, both outdoors and in 🚴🏻♂️The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/cycling/)
Like reading about cycling? Here are all my bike-related posts
### You are (not) the Buddha
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-are-not-the-buddha/
Last updated: 2026-02-24T22:26:14.000Z
It’s Sunday, so let’s peel away another layer.
I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but I’m going to disagree with [Howard Jones](http://www.howardjones.com/about.html?ref=gilespcroft.com).
😳
Because on his lesser-known (and somewhat under-rated) 1998 album, *People* there’s a delightful track called [*You’re the Buddha*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpHv4ZQVSb8&ref=gilespcroft.com) that goes:
> *“There were times when I thought*
> *There was nothing in this world*
> *There was nothing in this world for me*
> *Everywhere I looked there was trouble in my life*
> *Trouble far as I could see*
> *Hey there's a man doing alright*
> *What's his philosophy?*
> *He come over here and whispered in my ear:*
> **‘You're the Buddha,**
> **You're the Christ,**
> **You're the Mohammed,**
> **And the Mother Mary’*”*
Which is brilliant. And true.
On one level.
Indeed, [listen to any Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#audio) (or other mystic-type) and at some point you’ll hear him (or them) say that you’re as wise as the wisest person that ever lived; that each of us is.
We’re all the same.
Again, true. At the level of principle. Because ‘wisdom’ isn’t something we own, or that is personal to us, it’s just the intelligent energy of life, living us, breathing us, animating us.
It’s the source of fresh new thinking, of creative ideas, of intuition and insight. Of wisdom!
So, *yes*. At the level of principle, our [TRUE NATURE](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/) is:
⭕
One spiritual being (v.)
We’re *all* the Buddha, the Christ, the Mohammed and the Mother Mary.
---
### AND…
At the same time, this is no more than a lovely concept that’s a slippery slope to spiritual bypass!
😖
Because we live in the world of form, operating within our humanity; within the apparent confines of the outside-in illusion.
We feel, and it will [always *look* like](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/) those feelings are being caused by an ‘outside’ world, even though the entire experience is 100% an inner game.
But to dismiss this as ‘not real’ in any way is to be in denial of all the messy business of just being human.
It’s checking out of society. It’s not fully *living.*
---
The trick—far as I can tell (as always, don’t take my word for it)—is to see that *both* are true.
We *are* the Buddha, ***and*** we’re also just us; this flawed human, bimbling through life, simply doing our best.
😇 One moment seeing our divinity.
🤡 The next minute, not so much.
Make peace with that [paradox](https://www.gilespcroft.com/paradox/), and I reckon you’re winning at life.
💟
Giles
p.s. I explore this paradox in more detail in a video I created, where I unpick the Zen aphorism of *‘Mountain - No Mountain - Mountain’* in an 18 minute mini-masterclass. It’s not for everyone, but if you’re curious and feel as if you’d like to get some clarity on this one, you can watch it on the link below 👇🏻
[Mountain - No Mountain - Mountaina.k.a. The Enlightenment Path explained 🧘🏻♀️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/mountain-no-mountain/)
### Be less Bob
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/be-less-bob/
Last updated: 2026-08-22T09:58:58.000Z
Ok, so we need to talk about the new Cure album.
Because in an alarming confirmation of how much we all live our online lives in a little echo-chamber, all my various social media feeds have determined that Giles is the sort of person who needs to hear what everyone thinks about The Cure’s first studio album in 16 years, *Songs Of A Lost World* … and is going to hound him until he gets off his backside and listens to it himself.
Now, [The Cure](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The%5FCure?ref=gilespcroft.com) are a band that I suspect you’ll either love or loathe, and if you’re in the latter camp, you can safely disregard this Daily Reminder and go about your day, listening to whatever non-Cure music floats your boat. See you tomorrow!
👋🏻
Still here?
Ok, so if you’re in the former camp, like me, I wonder what your impression has been?
If I took the algorithm and all the media I’ve been fed at face value, I’d find it’s *“the best thing they’ve done since Disintegration (1989)”* … I’d have discovered that it’s #1 in the charts already (a feat that Disintegration itself couldn’t pull off) and I’d have seen that pretty much *everybody* reckons it’s just about the best thing they’ve *ever* heard.
🙄
But after a couple of concerted listens, it left me cold, and it’s not just because it’s lacking in the melodious, shimmery guitar hooks that plucked at my heart strings in the 1990s. (I really was a *massive* fan - went to see them several times; hung around our local Cure tribute band like a proper groupie; taught myself the guitar, just to be able to play some of my favourites!)
No, I think it left me cold for the same reason that the people above, *loathe* them:
😫
Because it’s f\*\*\*ing miserable!!!
An interview with Robert Smith describes it as “one of the darkest albums” they’ve ever made: “an eight-song suite of despair, rage and brooding thoughts,” and Bob himself says:
> *“I think it’s natural, as you grow older, to feel more and more despairing of what goes on…”*
And I’m like, WTF?! No it’s not!
I think that’s maybe how I felt in my 20’s—full of despair, rage and brooding thoughts—and that’s probably why The Cure resonated so strongly for me back then (along with the *amazing* tunes, natch) and why I feel a real sense of fond nostalgia today, when I go back in time and relive those beautifully sad songs.
But he’s 65 now, and surely he could have afforded some therapy along the way? Isn’t it time to move on?!
---
And then I made it to track seven, which strikes me almost as a cry for help: a moment of self-awareness and honesty about the deepest fear being held, that’s still driving him down this well-worn path, after all these years:
> *“I think too much of all that’s gone*
> *I lose all my life like this*
> *And all for fear of what I’ll find if I just stop.*
> *I think too much of all to come*
> *I waste all my world like this*
> *And all for fear of what I’ll find if I just stop.”*
This is the track that speaks to me, because YES! This is the human’s primal fear: what we’ll find if we stop identifying with the mind’s creations.
We’ve become so inured to the ego-whisperer’s stories that we think they’re who we really are. And so letting go of them is a bit scary*—“Better the devil you know,”* eh?—or worse, like actual death!
For what *will* we find, when the story about who we *think* we are, that we’ve invested so much in shoring up and defending, is no more? When an ego dies?
(Clearly looking especially terrifying when your career to date has been built on that persona, eh Bob? 🤷🏻♂️)
---
I guess it’s what I’ve committed to helping people do, having seen that really, this is all just a mind creating a bunch of knicker-twisting drama about something that’s not *actually* that big a deal.
It really isn’t.
People turn over new leaves all the time, and letting go of all that baggage from the past, and all the judgements of our ‘self’ is profoundly liberating.
As a client said to me this very morning, as we explored this together,
> *“I can’t really explain it, but life just seems easier. I feel better about everything, even though it seems like I haven’t really done anything!”*
That’s what happens when you’re freed from the tyranny—and endless toil—of having to keep a Thought System happy.
📦
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[RestlessIf the nature of the mind is restlessness, what are we to do? 🌀The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/restless/)
More lyric-based insights for you
### One to one
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/one-to-one/
Last updated: 2026-04-08T19:06:30.000Z
D’you know, if ‘1:1’ wasn’t so easy to type—just three keys, two of which are the same—I’d have set up a keyboard shortcut for it by now, because I type it a LOT!
And I’m a little shamefaced to admit, that the other day (can’t remember when, or why; such is often the nature of insight - they’re just ordinary, everyday miracles, aren’t they? ✨) I realised what it meant.
## **1:1**
So innocuous. It looks really obvious, and unambiguous, doesn’t it?
It looks like it’s saying: This is not ONE to MANY (i.e. group-work), it’s YOU and ME.
It’s **1:1**.
But no - it’s not that at all!!
Because YOU + ME = 2, not one, FFS.
🤦🏻♂️
When we arrange to meet, the magic happens when we drop the idea of separation (a left-brain creation) and fall into that space of insight.
It’s Rumi’s field:
> *“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right-doing, there is a field.*
> *I’ll meet you there.*
> *When the soul lies down in that grass,*
> *The world is too full to talk about.*
> *Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’*
> *Doesn’t make any sense.”*
It’s presence. (i.e. no distraction by the mind)
It’s experiencing the basic energy of connection; of life itself, ‘heart to heart’, where there is no you and there is no me, there’s just ***this*** (and all the wonder, potential, creativity and insight waiting to spill forth from that place).
It’s oneness meeting itself, oneness.
It’s **1:1**.
Can’t believe it’s taken six years for that to land for me, ha ha!
🥴
Giles
p.s. *‘One to One’* is also the title of a 1986 [Howard Jones album](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy3K8tLhQpE&list=OLAK5uy%5FkAvwPsTjNB7d9d94AQ7nQspI1KOt2c96A&ref=gilespcroft.com)—of course!—that I’m revisiting in light of my new ‘discovery’! 😂
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Just treeA simple Zen story that helps us manage life’s difficulties 🎋The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-tree/)
Maybe **in* Rumi's field, there is ‘Just tree’? 🤔
### Get your own evidence
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/
Last updated: 2026-08-03T10:01:33.000Z
In yesterday’s Daily Reminder ([*Are you trying to figure it out?*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-trying-to-figure-it-out/)) we looked at how all the doing, all the seeking, all the figuring stuff out can get in the way of us finding the one thing we most desire: peace of mind.
Which of course begs the question, *“What do we do, then?”*
Should we just ‘look in this direction’ then sit and wait for insight to strike?
Is that how it works?
This is another very easy trap to fall into, so let’s explore it today.
---
I’m reading a Steve Chandler book at the moment and they’ve often got little throwaway sentences in them that really bring me screeching to a halt mid-paragraph, to look at things differently. I like it!
Here’s one, on the topic of ‘knowing, deep down.’
> *“Deep down they know where true results come from. But deep down is no help. Out front in reality is where the fire needs to be.”*
🔥
Ouch!
This made me chuckle because when it comes to change by insight, we (i.e. the community of Innate Health/3 Principles practitioners/teachers) talk a lot about a ‘deeper knowing’ or an ‘embodied understanding’ … as opposed to an intellectual understanding, or simply holding on to an idea as a belief, to be applied. (The topic of [yesterday’s Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-trying-to-figure-it-out/).)
Indeed, you’ll often hear me saying things like:
- Stop trying so hard
- There’s nothing to do, only something to see
- You already have what you’re looking for
- Have you tried giving up yet?
…and of course those cheeky little computer-minds of ours will (understandably) run this through their algorithms, and interpret this as:
💭
**“Right, so he’s saying I just need to sit and wait, and something good will happen. Maybe I’ll read another book to deepen my understanding. That’s probably what I need to do. Let’s do that.”*
And nothing changes.
Because, to paraphrase Steve Chandler here, you can ‘know’, as deep down as you like, but it’s not worth a hill of beans, unless you put that ‘knowing’ into action.
Which is why I’m always encouraging clients and groups—and you!—to not take my word for it, but to look for the evidence for yourself.
It’s almost like there are two necessary steps here:
1. **Step one** is to do the intellectual work; to get the mind on board with the process, so it’s not just yelling at you all the time with a bunch of complaints and objections; dismissing things out of hand… and then
2. **Step two** is to look for the evidence, in your life.
---
So today (and maybe only today, who knows?!) I’m upgrading that advice to GET your own evidence.
Because this isn’t about sitting around, reading books, listening to podcasts and waiting for insight to strike.
It’s about living your life—taking action!—on the basis of these simple truths. Because that’s how you get an embodied understanding: by experiential learning.
So if you catch yourself having a little chat in your head, saying something like, *“Well, yes, of course, I understand this intellectually - it really makes sense… *but now what?*”* then it’s time to ***act*** on that understanding:
➤ **If** 100% of your felt experience comes from thought, and not from circumstance… armed with that ‘knowing, deep down’, **then** what are you going to change?
➤ **If** your wellbeing is not at risk from what other people think… armed with that ‘knowing, deep down’, **then** what next step are you going to take?
➤ **If** you *are* “[the infinite creative potential of the entire f\*\*\*ing universe](https://www.gilespcroft.com/is-nature-good-for-creativity/)” (a Michael Neill quote) … armed with that ‘knowing, deep down’, **then** what are you going to create?
➤ **If** listening to another, without any expectation or judgement is the key to fruitful, loving relationships… armed with that ‘knowing, deep down’, **then** who are you going to reach out to?
---
Honestly, ‘we’ (i.e. the mind) talks such a good talk, we can easily convince ourselves that we are indeed acting from the heart space, when really we’re just going through the same, tired old motions, and wondering why nothing is really changing.
🤷🏻♂️
So this is a call to actual, real life, practical action: take your ‘knowing, deep down’, go out there today and actually just LIVE from that place, instead of conceptualising it all and waiting for insight to strike.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Are you trying to figure it out?Why our usual models for change don’t work for wellbeing & fulfilment 💝The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-trying-to-figure-it-out/)
This is what you've already tried. You don't need to read this.
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Are you trying to figure it out?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-trying-to-figure-it-out/
Last updated: 2026-03-08T20:14:53.000Z
I’m curious. Is that what this is, for you?
A puzzle of sorts. A feeling, a bit like the old tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon, where it seems so close you can almost touch it, but nothing’s happening?
> *“If I can just ‘get’ what Giles is talking about, then things will be different.”*
That sort of thing?
I see this with a lot of clients, and I think it’s very normal and natural. (You are definitely not alone! 💝)
Here’s why.
We’ve been programmed from birth, through our schooling and into adult life, that the answers lie in **understanding information**:
- Take it in
- Understand it
- (then when needed) Recall it
- Apply it
- (then to get better) Keep practicing applying it.
It’s the shoelace-tying model. Or the performing-surgery model. Stuff you need to *know* how to do.
And of course we bring this same approach to happiness and wellbeing, innocently enough:
- I need to understand this
- I need to remember this
- I need to apply this
- (nothing’s happening, so) I need to practice this.
⚠️
****But that approach doesn’t work when we already have what it is we’re searching for.**
Could it be the searching, the ‘needing to…’ *itself*, that’s actually getting in the way of us realising that?
🤷🏻♂️
---
I worked with a client, not long ago. Medic. Brainy. Diligent. Fun-loving. Stuck!
In his own words:
> *“I was up against a fairly constant inner monologue of feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt about career decisions and frustration that my life didn't really match up with what I thought it should look like.”*
Somewhat unsurprisingly, he’d tried solving this situation with the understand-recall-apply-practice model.
I mean, why wouldn’t you? It makes total sense to try doing that. I get it!
And being on my mailing list for some time, in this case, that had manifested as watching a bunch of my videos, reading a *ton* of the books I’d recommended or mentioned over time (I want to say *all* of them! 😆), and trying to figure out what the solution was.
Needless to say, mindfulness meditation, online CBT, work-life balance coaching and a ton of *other* books too, had also all been tried, to no avail.
Again, in his words:
> *“I realised that when I was reading lots of wellbeing books, it was because my left brain thought there was ‘a solution’ to the reason I was stressed and low in mood ‘about my life’. If I could apply enough knowledge at the right times, then things would change.”*
And it wasn’t working.
So we spent time exploring these things: how change works; what we need to do/not do, to experience wellbeing; what to look for; what’s really going on.
And a shift occurred (as it inevitably does - the mind can only fight reality for so long! 🤷🏻♂️)
Interestingly, this shift illuminated all the books and all the ‘learning’ in a very light.
For when we looked back at all the reading that had been done, from that fresh vantage point, we could see that every single one of those books\* had the same overarching theme:
👉
****The answer does not lie in this book. You are your** ***own** **answer.**
😲
And that’s the direction I point my clients in.
Here's what happened:
> *“Talking with Giles has helped me take my foot off the accelerator when it comes to ‘trying’ to get better wellbeing. Speaking 1:1 has given me multiple insights that I wouldn't have gained reading books or even watching videos, by linking things to my own experiences.*
> *This has helped me take thoughts and feelings less seriously and get some space between the present moment and what my mind might have to say about it.”*
💗
In [tomorrow’s Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/), I’m going to talk a bit about what ‘taking your foot off the accelerator’ looks like, as we explore another very common—almost consequent—sticking point: the dreaded ‘waiting for insight to strike’.
⏳🧐😴😖
💟
Giles
\*p.s. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you’ve read a couple of 3 Principles/Innate Health/Inside Out Understanding-related books and *not* experienced significant changes, then I don’t think there’s much point in just reading more. You need to change up the way you’re approaching this.
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Incredible resilience
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/incredible-resilience/
Last updated: 2026-06-25T07:39:59.000Z
My daughter’s massively into Minecraft.
It’s screen-time we can all get behind, because it’s an opportunity to unleash her creativity in a way that is without boundary.
Here’s one of her creations that completely blew my mind: a cat, that you live inside.
The hat on its head is a penthouse suite and naturally there’s a pool beneath it, and a secret tunnel inside one of the flowerbeds that leads to an underground bunker of sorts.
😮
I got her to take this screenshot, because I thought it was just about the coolest thing I’d ever seen.
But… the other Saturday I was disturbed by a series of howls from downstairs, frantic footsteps on the stairs and a very, very, *very* upset 10 year old, who burst into the room to inform me that she’d accidentally died testing out some new feature, had failed to set a ‘re-spawn’ marker for the location of her home area… and consequently lost the lot.
🙀
She’s fairly well-versed in Minecraft lore, so had tried various tricks to find it again, but none had worked and she was reduced to wandering around aimlessly from the new spawn point in the empty world, looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack.
She knew it was over.
I think it’s fair to say I haven’t seen her that upset about anything, *ever* before. Inconsolable doesn’t even come close.
This was BIG.
She’d spent literally *months* building her world, with different homes, railways and rollercoasters galore, indoor and outdoor pet sanctuaries, beautiful blossom-filled gardens, libraries, even a mini-stadium to perform in… and now it was all gone.
💔
(It pains me even to recall just how distraught she was; thought’s powerful like that.)
I warned my wife, who was at work, that there’d be a grieving process occurring in the home when she returned, and that we’d probably have an extra-mopey child on our hands for a few days at the very least.
At bedtime there were more tears, as she lamented, *“Dad, I miss my world!”*
😩
---
I wanted to keep an eye on this one, to see how it played out, in the days that followed. Neither me nor my wife suggested any remedies, or tried to buck her up or anything.
It sucked and we acknowledged that it sucked.
---
The very next day she was back in Minecraft.
*“Still searching?”* I asked, tentatively.
*“No. I just deleted it. No point; I’ll never find it. I’m building something new,”* she replied, not super-enthusiastically, but not sad, either.
Just being creative again. Starting over.
To my amazement, the cat-house-world was never mentioned again. She just cracked on, and since then she’s made more amazing things that I regularly get called in to look at: *“Dad! Look at this!”* (I love it! 😍)
## The very definition of resilience
For me, this is resilience in action, and bloody hell, do kids do it well?!
I have a definition of resilience, that takes into consideration the fact that what we experience in life, moment to moment, is a thought-created perceptual reality; [a map, not the territory](https://www.gilespcroft.com/update-your-map-version/) itself.
Put simply: we don’t experience the situations we face, we experience our thinking *about* them.
With that in mind, “resilience” can *only* be one thing:
🔑
****Key Message**: Resilience is our inbuilt capacity to fall out of our thinking, and back into the NOW.
And that’s what my daughter displayed, so adeptly. She didn’t hang on to the thinking she had about the Minecraft disaster – it just didn’t make sense.
She let it go, and moved on.
I must say, I’ve never been more proud of her. It brought a an actual tear to my eye, to see the effortless grace with which she handled the loss of something that was such a huge part of her life.
She’s such a great teacher, and I know this scenario will stay with me as a guide, when life next throws *me* a curveball.
And if at some point in the future, you ever get to read this, my sweet… know that you rock my world!
I love you.
💟
Giles
### Related
[It’s time to update your map versionWhat do we mean when we say “the map is not the territory” (and how to use it to your advantage) 🗺️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/update-your-map-version/)
### Career change starts with one thought
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/career-change-starts-with-one-thought/
Last updated: 2026-04-03T14:14:11.000Z
Back when I started out [working 1:1](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/) with people, because of my background (a portfolio of careers, having left medicine) it seemed logical to me to help people with career change.
I mean, I’d only been [speaking about it at conferences](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inner-vs-outer-feelings/) for the last decade or so!
🤷🏻♂️
But the practicalities of doing that I found to be quite difficult, initially. I got myself all tied up in outcomes, convincing myself that because the changes we see in the world of form can take a while, I would need to be working with clients over a long period of time.
But who wants to sign up for a 2 year coaching package?!
Of course, I’d overlooked how career change *actually* works.
## It starts with a thought
Since I left a promising surgical career at the top of my game, and this isn’t all that common, whenever I’m interviewed on podcasts, it’s a frequent line of questioning: How? Why?
And while it’s easy to draw a seemingly linear, time-based move from this career, to that one, and then to the other, the way that these life changes really work is far more stop-start: periods of seeming inactivity, followed by big leaps.
💡
The big leaps come from ***one thought**, and they’re what make change happen.
Because like all change, it’s insight-based. We see something differently, some old, invisible belief falls away and the path is suddenly clear for a huge change to occur.
We change… and the world of form follows suit. It’s that way round.
## Some examples
The biggest career change of my life (age 46), deciding to leave behind a lucrative IT consultancy, with virtually no safety net… that was ***one thought*** that came to me, half way through a phone call:
> *“Oh, this is it. I’m done with this stuff now. Forever. Today’s the day I start looking for something new.”*
I didn’t know what that ‘something new’ was (which was terrifying!) but the insight came out of the blue, and from that fresh vantage point, the world of form started to get into line behind it.
✦
Actually *leaving* medicine was **one thought** that happened in a conversation, after I’d been offered a university position that I didn’t think I was going to be able to take (because it would have meant a *halving* of my salary; obviously a big deal).
It was suggested that I do some locuming (A&E doctor shifts) on the side, to supplement my meagre salary and there it was, all of a sudden. Again, out of the blue, unbidden, the realisation:
> *“No, I’m not going to do that. This whole move is about scaling back the hours I work and having better work/life balance – that would be just more of the same.”*
And with it, the tandem realisation that I’d probably just left the NHS forever… and I was ok with that.
✦
Beginning a decade-long career as a keynote speaker was **one thought**:
> *“Yes, friendly stranger, I think I *would* like to create something suitable to present at your conference you’ve just invited me to speak at, even though I have no idea what that might be.”*
✦
Starting off down the path to become a cycling-coach was ***one thought*** that happened during a conversation with a friend I was helping out with her fitness (something I’d been practicing on myself for years):
> *“OMG! I’m really good at this and it comes naturally… I’m going to qualify to do it properly.”*
✦
Writing the Daily Reminders (which has changed the shape of my coaching practice completely) was ***one thought*** that was coaxed out of me, by my own coach:
> *“Oh crikey! Writing daily might actually be easier than writing just once a month.”* 🤯
## There's a process
I’ve just noticed, as I type these words, that in all these cases, the same process was in play: a conversation with someone and an unexpected shift in my thinking. Something fresh; something new – a thought I'd not had before (i.e. insight)
That was the catalyst for change, each and every time.
And then the world of form lined up behind that shift in perspective.
I think that’s how it works, guys!
🥳
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I provide the kinds of conversations that help you to have the ***one thought** that changes everything, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Time to sleep, mind
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/time-to-sleep-mind/
Last updated: 2026-01-28T14:33:16.000Z
I’ve had a couple of conversations with people recently, about having trouble sleeping.
And as far as the solution goes, once physiological causes have been ruled out, it pretty much boils down this choice quote from Richard Carlson:
> ***“Your night-time thinking is a reflection of your daytime thinking”***
I mean… why wouldn’t it be? The same process is going on, the only difference is, you can’t employ any of your ingrained habits to distract you from your thinking, when you’re lying there in the quiet of the night!
😂
This means the answer *isn’t* to focus on sleep struggles, it’s to get a deeper appreciation for the principles that govern your daytime thinking habits.
And then sleep will sort itself out.
(This is evidenced by the fact that people who go through my [6 week RECONNECT Course](https://gilespcroft.com/reconnect/?ref=gilespcroft.com) will very frequently report that they’re sleeping better… in spite of us never talking about sleep, once!)
## A quick sleep tip
Sometimes we need a little reminder, and here’s what I do with my 10 year old bedtime munchkin, when she’s got a buzzy brain: I encourage her to ‘have a word’ with her mind and let it know that it’s time for sleep now, and that its services are no longer required.
She’s got dreams for processing all the day’s activities, thoughts and feelings, and the mind doesn’t need to try and do it consciously, on her behalf!
In fact, it’s just getting in the way of the thing that it’s trying to do itself, lol.
(Minds!! 🙄😆)
We sometimes even go as far as pretending to breathe these needless thoughts out of our ears, making a funny, [balloon-deflating](https://youtu.be/aP98T4lyW3c?ref=gilespcroft.com) noise while we do it, which often makes her giggle.
I mean… you’re welcome to try that last tip, but your bed-partner might have something to say about it.
😂
Giles
### Related
[This is how I sleep nowTwo practical tools for you to use in your quest for a good night’s sleep. 🛌The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-how-i-sleep-now/)
More practical measures for a good night's sleep
### There's nothing wrong with me
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/theres-nothing-wrong-with-me/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T16:26:46.000Z
It’s been a few months since I was at the [3 Principles Conference](https://www.3puk.org/?ref=gilespcroft.com), and one particular talk has really stuck with me.
In fact, it’s stuck with me so much, that I’ve been sharing its simple message with clients and groups, ever since!
It was a comment from Shane Kennedy – the chap who captured so many of Syd Banks’ [conversations on video tape](https://sydneybanks.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com#video), releasing them over the years, through his company, Lone Pine Publishing.
He was talking about how he wasn’t really a teacher of the 3 Principles, nor did he consider himself particularly knowledgeable. But he explained that years ago he had one simple, common-sense insight that he’s held on to, and worked from, and let grow over time, and it’s changed his life completely (into what he calls a beautiful life, full of adventure and tragedy).
---
So often, we get a brief glimpse behind the curtain, having a moment of insight about ourselves, or the nature of things—*“Oh yeah… of course!”*—and it feels great.
There’s a feeling of okayness, of coming home, of being at one with the world.
A couple of days or weeks later though, we’re back to taking it all for granted – a new normal has been established! The mind has become restless again and is off on another of its seeking adventures:
> 📦🗣️: *What’s the next insight I’m going to have?*
The mind loves having experiences, especially ones where we get to feel great, and it’s attached ‘having an insight’ to ‘feeling great’ so that’s what it does. Creates another of its stories; this time:
> 📦🗣️: *“I’ll be happy when… I have an insight.”*
It leads to a life of perpetual seeking - the nagging feeling that ‘*there must be more…’*
It’s such a little monkey!
🐒
---
Not long after the conference, I was invited to speak in a private group, and was asked what was one of the main insights I’d had about myself, since coming across the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com).
I’d considered this before, and while there are a few stories I have told about insights I’ve had, I think the main one was realising, beyond a shadow of doubt, that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me (a belief I’d been innocently operating from for 40+ years, prior to that moment).
And because that realisation happened quite a few years ago, and I’ve just taken it on as a fact of the human make-up in general (it’s the ‘Innate Health’ in us all that I’m always banging on about), I think I’d maybe started taking it for granted.
The host of the group reflected it back to me, saying something like,
> *“Blimey! That sounds like a pretty life-changing realisation to have!”*
… and I suddenly re-remembered what a MASSIVE deal that was!!
I mean, just look at the difference in how we’d show up in life, with (or without) that realisation:
- **There’s something wrong with me** → Constant seeking of fixes, coping mechanisms and exhausting attempts to ‘better’ ourselves; approval-seeking and endless striving for more… all of it guaranteed to *never* reach any kind of resolution
- **There’s nothing wrong with me →** None of that nonsense makes sense any more.
And it’s important to know this, because the way life is set up, it will certainly *look* like there’s something wrong with us, on an almost daily basis!
- My business isn’t going how I expected it to: *there’s something wrong with me*
- I have a habit I don’t like: *there’s something wrong with me*
- There’s tension in a relationship: *there’s something wrong with me*
- Parenting feels like a struggle: *there’s something wrong with me*
- I don’t like the way I behave in that particular situation: *there’s something wrong with me*
- I can't seem to shake this particular feeling-state: *there’s something wrong with me*
… and on and on it goes.
---
I think this is what Shane was talking about when he said to be grateful for the one simple insight you have had, and work your way outwards from there.
Because every time I fall back into the simple truth that there’s nothing wrong with me—or with you, or with anyone!—life flows effortlessly.
(And I too, get to live a beautiful life, full of adventure and tragedy.)
So what’s your one simple insight you’re innocently taking for granted?
Let me know in the comments, I’d love to hear!
And how about relaxing back into that insight, and living life from *that* place, [just for today](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-for-today/)?
💟
Giles
### Related
[Six years oldThe day \*everything\* changed 😲The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/six-years-old/)
More on that realisation (including a podcast where I'm interviewed about it) 🎙️
### Six years old
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/six-years-old/
Last updated: 2026-02-11T17:01:56.000Z
Today is my birthday.
More years ago than I care to mention, I emerged, messy, naked and fully present to this thing we call life.
I had no story, no language, and no identity.
Yet I was lived.
I’d not come to learn the idea of ‘separation’ and as a consequence I received it all with possibly the most open, rule-free mind I’ve ever had.
---
Today is also my re-birthday.
For by an astonishing coincidence, six years ago today, on my birthday, it happened all over again (with less mess and more clothing, you’ll be relieved to hear).
Up on stage in front of an audience, without warning, I dropped out of all my stories and the identity I’d been living for decades, saw through the mind’s illusion of separation and ‘had an experience of my own health’, fully present to this thing we call life.
Which was the starting point and the whole reason for these pieces of writing.
This recording is quite a few years old now (and listening back, I’m a little bit garrulous and star-struck) but the full story of how it all happened was captured on Jamie Smart’s [Get Clarity Podcast](https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/044-giles-p-croft-the-presence-of-health/id1173476690?i=1000479326372&ref=gilespcroft.com), that you can listen to, below:
Episode 44: Giles P Croft – The presence of health
0:00
/1912.534333
1×
---
The weather forecast for today is quite terrible so I shall no doubt be riding the indoor trainer… but only to work up an appetite for a meal out with my wife and daughter, later. 😋
Until tomorrow!
💟
Giles
### How are you listening?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-are-you-listening/
Last updated: 2026-07-10T06:52:35.000Z
A couple of weeks ago I shared a short video clip from a course I ran back in 2020, looking at the fact that we all live in separate realities (if you missed it, [it’s linked here](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-are-they-thinking/)).
I concluded that:
> *“When we come to the realisation that it’s simply not possible for another to see what we see, our compassion levels go through the roof and we’re left with just one tool at our disposal to even begin to understand how they are perceiving the world… Listening.”*
So in this short video clip, we’re going to once again hop into our time machine and head back to that same Room of Insight with our little band of intrepid explorers, to have a look at:
- How listening is a creative process
- How creative listening can save us energy
- How creative listening leads to compassion, connection and forgiveness
- How creative listening puts us in touch with wisdom
Pretty cool, huh? 😃
Honestly, listening’s where it’s at, people!
💝
Giles
Premium 🔖 content
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening)
For ****Premium 🔖 Subscribers** there's a deeper look at the art of listening, with extra written and audio content, in the form of an article entitled **Creative Listening.*
[Read & Listen to the Article Now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening)
### Related
[Logical and magicalOnce we remove innocent misunderstanding, life flows with much more ease – that’s when the magic really happens! 🪄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/logical-and-magical/)
A practical demonstration of what a difference listening makes
### The peril of positive self-talk
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-peril-of-positive-self-talk/
Last updated: 2026-03-02T11:30:47.000Z
I have a client who, once every fortnight, has to do something at work, that they don’t like doing, and they find a bit stressful.
Unsurprisingly, the mind can have some stuff to say about that, when its attention is on it, e.g.
- 📦🗣️: *“You’re no good at this”*
- 📦🗣️: *“What if it goes wrong?”*
- 📦🗣️: *“You’re going to get in trouble if you make a mistake.”*
Conversely, in a different frame of mind (they told me),
> *“Sometimes when I'm in a high mood I rationalise that I'm actually ok at it all…”*
Which seems better, doesn’t it? It’s a more positive perspective.
It seems like its putting the mind in its place: *Hey!* *Actually buddy, no! *I* call the shots around here! Be off with you, with all your bad vibes, I can’t be doing with it any more! I’m not listening to you!*
---
But hang on. Isn’t that just more of the same? (The clue is in the word ‘rationalise’.)
Isn’t that just ‘turning up the master volume’ on the entire system? (A [previous Daily Reminder it’s worth revisiting](https://www.gilespcroft.com/turning-up-the-master-volume/).)
We’re engaging thought on its own terms—trying to out-positive all its negativity—all the while, innocently and inevitably strengthening its hold over us, by engaging with it at all.
Because… what is it you’re using to ‘engage’ with it in the first place?
🤷♂️
You can’t think yourself out of a thinking problem!
---
Look, there’s nothing wrong with positive self-talk.
There’s also nothing wrong with negative self-talk.
The mind (which *is* the ‘self’; little ‘s’) is going to have moments where it talks negatively to itself, and moments where it talks positively to itself.
(If yours is anything like mine, the former will outweigh the latter - I think it’s an evolutionary thing, guys!)
**And this is of no concern to you.**
Let it.
The less involved you get—positive or negative judgements—the less of a ‘problem’ it becomes.
And the more you get to live your life, bringing your gifts into the world, *in spite* of anything the mind says.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Turning up the master volumeTechniques for increasing self-confidence often have the opposite effect – here’s why ↩️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/turning-up-the-master-volume/)
### Just for today
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-for-today/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T10:50:14.000Z
There’s a great story in one of [Steve Chandler’s books](https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Steve-Chandler/author/B000APFVOK?ref=ap%5Frdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true), where he talks about going to Alcoholics Anonymous (it’s ok that I’m telling you, it’s in a book, he’s already outed himself) and how on the wall there’s a sign that says:
☝️
****JUST FOR TODAY**
He explains that for the recovering alcoholic, the idea of having to go your entire life without a drink is just too much to comprehend; too big a job. No way you’re signing up to that. Biggest barrier going!
And then someone explains to him:
> *“You don’t need to quit drinking forever.”*
Say what?! I thought that was the whole idea.
Nope, it’s: *“Just for today, don’t drink.”*
😲🤯
That takes so much pressure off, it seems like cheating, in some way!
Can it really be that simple?
Well… it’s all you get to actually experience: Now.
🔑
****Key Message**: Your felt experience of life is only ever happening ****Now**
So what looks like your ‘biggest barrier going’?
What aren’t you doing because it looks like it’s a venture that’s too big a job?
Well… what if you don’t actually have to do the whole thing?
(There’s a reason why the [Getting Things Done](https://gilespcroft.link/gtd?ref=gilespcroft.com)™ methodology really focuses on the *Next one physical action.)*
🤷🏻♂️
Or maybe you’re slowly coming to terms that you’re addicted to thinking… but the idea of leaving that abusive relationship ‘forever’ fills you with dread. It’s just too much to comprehend.
Well… what if it’s not ‘forever’ at all?
What if it’s just for this moment… letting whatever’s concerning you pass on through that beautiful mind of yours; not attaching to it, not acting like it’s true.
🤷🏻♂️
It’s the sort of game you can really have some fun with.
A whole new world opens up.
And if you need some help with that, get in touch and tell me what’s going on:
[Learn more and get in touch](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/)
It’s what I’m here for.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Abstain-iversaryHow I effortlessly went from drinking alcohol regularly, to not drinking at all 🍺The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/abstainiversary/)
It was quite the turnaround – and it's available to ***you** too.
### The red flag of ‘one solution’
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-one-solution/
Last updated: 2026-09-05T08:32:29.000Z
There’s a recurring theme I see on social media, especially when it comes to mental health & wellbeing, that if anyone is offering you one solution to many problems, then it’s a red flag.
> *“Run a mile!”* they say
🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩 🚩
According to the received wisdom, anyone offering one solution is at best hopelessly naive, or—more likely—it means they’ve got an agenda and are trying to sell you snake oil.
(And at worst, they’re trying to indoctrinate you into a cult.)
I get it. It does happen!
It’s an understandable, learned reaction, because by and large it’s true. I mean, I myself spent years trying one ‘solution’ after another, hoping that this time it would deliver long lasting peace of mind –
*No, that’s not it. Nope, not that either. Dammit, what’s the answer? Why do I always end up feeling like something’s wrong with me?!*
And it looks like that’s what I’m talking about, when I share all these stories of different problems being overcome, or solved, with just one, simple understanding.
Indeed, I have a testimonial from a very happy client here (entitled **“Life changing!”** incidentally) where, when asked, *“What were the perceived barriers of working with Giles, beforehand?”* they answered,
> *“My mind was telling me that this wasn’t going to be helpful for me and that other people’s circumstances were different. There was also a narrative around someone being too evangelical about a particular approach and advising caution.”*
So yeah… I get it.
## I'm not offering ‘one solution’
Now, if I was actually *offering* one solution, these sorts of objections would be of some concern.
But I’m not. (So they're not.)
In reality, I’m not offering *any* solutions (which makes for great marketing copy, as I’m sure you can imagine)
😆
No, whatever ‘you’ (i.e. your Ego Construct 📦) may *believe* when we start working together, I know that you will find your *own* solutions.
And I know you’re best placed to do that, when you’re in tune with how reality works, how you’re experiencing the world, and when you get a proper feel for who you are, before all the identity-stories your mind has built up around you.
As soon as we try and describe that, or slap a label on it, it’s instantly not ‘it’ – it morphs effortlessly into the dreaded ‘one solution’.
So no, ‘mindfulness’ isn’t the answer, ‘Buddhism’ isn’t the answer. Anything that’s a ‘how to’ is not the answer. Even ‘The 3 Principles’ and ‘Non dualism’ are not the answer!
And that's because:
😊
****You are your own answer.**
You’re already it! The formless essence of who you really are at your core – *that’s* the thing that you’re looking for, whether you know it or not.
## The betting-on-horses metaphor
I was once running a course with a lovely bunch of stressed-out social care staff, and after a few weeks, one of them got a bit exasperated, piped up and shared this brilliant metaphor:
> *“Look Giles. You seem like a nice chap and all, and I think your heart’s in the right place. I genuinely believe you’re *trying* to help us all, I really do. But I’ve wasted years of my life betting on one personal development horse after another, and none of them have come up trumps. How is this not just another horse to bet on? Frankly, I don’t have the time or the energy and I can’t face being disappointed all over again.”*
Absolutely perfect!
🏇😚👌🏻
Now, initially I was a bit stumped, but after a bit of reflection I realised the answer, that I shared with the group.
> *“This—if you can even call it a ‘this’—is like being in a hot air balloon, overlooking the race course, observing all the people betting on horses below, believing that they need to, because betting on horses looks like the right thing to do.”*
Let's make it memorable for you:
A picture paints (in this case) ****43** words
---
This ‘one thing’ I talk about; that I point back to with every single post, using a different story or metaphor each time, is beyond description.
It's not a ‘solution’ at all.
It’s nothing to do with time, or space or anything within our experience.
I can’t explain it, but relaxing into that state of no-labels, no-expectations, no-shoulds, no-*thing* … is so nourishing.
It’s home.
And it’s got everything we need, when we need it.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The 3Ps aren’t a thingDon’t look at the finger, pointing to the moon 🌙👈🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-3ps-arent-a-thing/)
I say hot air balloons, Zen says ‘a finger pointing to the moon’
### Always
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/always/
Last updated: 2026-01-24T07:00:54.000Z
It’s funny, when I dip into my on-the-go list of ideas for [Daily Reminder topics](https://www.gilespcroft.com/topics/), I sometimes find one that’s remarkably similar to another, but separated in time by mere weeks.
It’s the same insight—the same thing I’ve seen—but it’s as if this whole being-human malarkey is set up for us to forget, and forget again… and then forget some more. No matter how many times we see through the mind’s tricks!
Which is the whole *raison d'être* for the **Daily Reminders**. I figure that if I forget—when I help people with this stuff on a daily basis!—then you probably do too.
💝
So the other day I was talking about the mind working in absolutes: right/wrong, good/bad, always/never, and I spoke about “[Not buying a ticket to Neverland](https://www.gilespcroft.com/buying-a-ticket-to-neverland/).”
And lo, what should I find here in my ideas list…?
An article about its bedfellow: ‘**Always**’
---
I’m doing a recovery ride on the turbo trainer, and notice I’ve got a quite a bit of knee pain. (The previous day I’d ridden 200km & 3,100m climbing; it's hardly surprising.)
I know my body, what it’s capable of, how it responds. (It’s why I’m doing a super-easy spin on the indoor trainer, in the first place!)
But the mind… oh god, the bloody mind!! 😫
- 📦🗣️ *“This is it now.”*
- 📦🗣️ *“I won’t be able to do big rides any more.”*
- 📦🗣️ *“I’ve pushed it too far this time.”*
- 📦🗣️ *“This is only going to get worse.”*
- 📦🗣️ *“I’m going to have to take a whole load of time off and I’ll lose all my fitness.”*
- 📦🗣️ *“This is how I am: all, or nothing. I've overdone it again, and a period of ‘nothing’ is coming.”*
Yada yada yada yada… on it goes.
Why?
I think it’s because **the mind is not involved in change**, so it can't comprehend it.
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but ****insight**.
It's not its job to come up with solutions, or to get fresh perspectives on things. It doesn’t do ‘changes of heart’.
All it’s ever really doing is [observing, and commentating](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/). Little machine, processing away.
So it says things won't change. This is it. Things will always be this way.
You know what?
> ⚠️ **It genuinely believes that.**
It’s not malicious or anything, it’s just working at the limits of what it knows.
(Which isn’t much, in the big scheme of things.)
---
The problem is, it's so easy to take its chat for granted. To see it as reality, when it’s the opposite: it’s pulling us *away* from reality (i.e. Now).
I confess, there on the indoor bike, I’d been worrying for quite a while, following along with its commentary, letting it grow and become more serious by the minute… before I realised what I was doing.
😲
## So what’s the solution?
There are **three** steps.
**First**, you have to notice it first.
You have to be in tune with the signs:
- stress
- tightness
- urgency
- constriction
- worry.
**Second**, you have to know what these signs mean:
🚩
****Mind activated!!** We’ve departed from reality, people!! 🚨
(Nothing else. Those feelings mean nothing more.)
And **third**, you drop it. You stop rewarding it with attention.
You stop turning to it for advice, because it doesn’t know anything about anything. It’s just regurgitating old data.
It’s ‘always’ going to say ‘always’ - that’s its thing.
You don’t have to get involved.
Try it and see what happens – let me know how you get on, in the comments!
💟
Giles
### Related
[Buying a ticket to NeverlandThis one simple thing will completely change your day 🎟️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/buying-a-ticket-to-neverland/)
‘Never’ and ‘always’: the mind's two greatest hits!
[“But my mind has been quite helpful recently!”The thing is, it \*would\* say that, wouldn’t it? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/)
Observing. Commentating. Observing. Commentating.
### Wisdom is contextual
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-is-contextual/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T21:22:49.000Z
I was in conversation with a client the other day, who’s looking to change career. (I know how this feels – I’ve done it many a time!)
It’s a time of great uncertainty.
Now, you know what sits atop the list of things-a-mind-doesn’t-like?
That’s right: uncertainty.
And you know what a mind does when it’s faced with uncertainty?
That’s right: it makes stuff up. *Lots* of stuff! In fact, the more uncertainty there is, the more gaps it feels it has to fill, and the more stuff it makes up.
Nightmare.
---
Now, it’s good to spot the *sorts* of things it makes up, so you can identify each of them as a work of fiction and not take them too seriously. Here are three, to be going on with:
### **First thing**
The first is that this is all on you. That somehow you’re in control of the process.
You’re really not. The notion of control is a trick of the mind.
Don’t believe me? Well, take any life situation you find yourself in now, and tell me how much control you had in getting there. Family, friendships, tragedies, work situations… you don’t choose any of that stuff. It just happens.
When you’re moving in a particular direction, life, wisdom, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, has cogs that are turning in the background, presenting you with opportunity and help and guidance, in the form of happenstance, friendly guides and intuition.
As Michael Neill puts it, it’s:
> *“100% reliable and 98% unpredictable.”*
### **Second thing**
The second is our old favourite: predicting the future.
The mind is an algorithmic machine that takes the data it already has (the past/your conditioning), runs it through its programming and spits out what it thinks is the most likely outcome.
Problem is, it doesn’t know about the **First thing** (at all!), so it’s working off a *very* limited dataset. The volume of:
- *stuff you don’t know*
- *things that could potentially happen*, and
- *insights you’ve yet to have*
…is so unfathomably vast, it’s enough for that poor little Thought System 📦 of yours to explode… so it sticks to what it knows.
Which is nothing, in comparison.
Add to that the mind’s inbuilt negativity bias (a hangover from the tribal days, where physical safety was the #1 priority) and you’ve got yourself a majorly depressing blockbuster, playing in your head, 24/7.
None of which is true.
🔑
****Key Message**: ALL problems are created by the mind.
### **Third thing**
This one’s the least obvious of the three, and it’s what I worked on with my client. It’s that the mind has no idea that **wisdom is contextual**.
What does that mean?
Well, imagine you’re in a position where you’re changing direction, wanting to create a different experience of life. You know change is coming, but you don’t know how that change is going to manifest.
What does the mind do?
It looks to how *other* people have made changes and it panics, because it thinks that you’re going to have to do the same things that they have: quit a job completely and wing it; move to a different country; somehow be single, without financial commitments again, when in reality you have a family and mortgage.
(In my experience, this sort of mental trickery is what *really* stops people from making the changes they want to.)
But **wisdom is contextual**. All the magic that’s going to happen, that can’t be predicted—the opportunities, the serendipities, the insights, the great ideas—that’s all going to happen in a way that’s perfect for YOU.
You’ll find YOUR way… when you get out of neutral and you start moving.
🏃🏻♂️
I’ll finish with the famous Jospeh Campbell quote I used to share, back when my thing was speaking about career change at big conferences:
> **“If you can see your path laid out in front of you, step by step, you know it's not your path.**
>
> **Your own path you make with every step you take.”**
Rest assured, change will show up in a way that’s right for you.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Seeing the pathA selection of career path-related quotes to drum some common-sense into you! 👨🏻🏫The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/seeing-the-path/)
### Buying a ticket to Neverland
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/buying-a-ticket-to-neverland/
Last updated: 2026-01-26T21:52:40.000Z
The mind works in black and white. There’s no subtlety to it at all; no shades of grey.
When it sees something, it draws a line and says,
📦
🗣️ “Ok, so this is the way it is, then.”
Which has led to a saying here at *Casa Croft*,
> ***“Don’t take a trip to Neverland!”***
Because whenever my daughter is faced with some inconvenient truth (e.g. no, you can’t start a massive new crafting project at bedtime; no, I’m not going to be popping into town tomorrow and buying you a mobile phone 🙄) her mind automatically slips into binary mode—always/never—and makes her life hell.
- *“I’ll *NEVER* be able to make that thing!!”* 😩
- *“You’ll *NEVER* let me have a phone, ever!!”* 😩
Ring any bells?
(And when I say “Ring any bells?” I’m not talking about your kids, I’m talking about *your* mind, silly! 😂)
Because yeah, mine does that too! As does yours.
There are universal principles at play here. Faced with what is, when it doesn’t match up to what the mind thinks it needs “in order to” secure its happiness, it goes all binary on us.
- *“This injury will *NEVER* heal!”* 😩
- *“I’ll *ALWAYS* be triggered by that situation!”* 😩
- *“I’ll *NEVER* be able to make this business work!”* 😩
- *“I’ll *ALWAYS* be alone!”* 😩
Of course, when we hear anyone else’s mind blibber-blabbering on like this, it seems faintly ridiculous. We’re like, *“Jeez, calm down, get some perspective!”*
But when it’s *ours*… oh, now that’s different.
😆
No, it isn’t.
**All you have to do is spot it.**
And decide that today, no thanks, you’re not buying a ticket to Neverland.
Give it a go. I guarantee your day will improve.
💟
Giles
### Related
[AlwaysThis natural bedfellow of ‘never’ is another of the mind’s greatest hits ⌛️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/always/)
Part 2 to this sorry tale, really. This time it's me at the mercy of the mind.
### Practice vs. perfect
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/practice-vs-perfect/
Last updated: 2026-06-27T08:31:26.000Z
Two items grabbed my attention in quick succession, prompting today’s Daily Reminder.
The first was a question from a subscriber, who asked,
> *“What’s the difference between the 3 Principles and Mindfulness? There seem to be a lot of parallels to me.”*
…and then almost as a ready made answer, along came someone on LinkedIn, commenting on a post about [presence](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/presence/), insinuating that,
> *Yeah… but it takes practice.*
And I thought, *Whoa, hang on.*
Isn’t that what keeps everybody stuck? The belief that “being more present” takes effort; that it’s to be worked at?
Let me ask you, for instance: Do you like the idea of having to work hard at something? Putting the hours in so that you can achieve some sort of repetitive future goal, around being awake to life?
No, me neither!
---
When I got back to our dear subscriber, I mused that maybe this was the difference:
What if presence is what we already are? There’s no trying to be done; no practice involved in resting in your True Nature. It’s already perfect.
Whereas, generally, we associate mindfulness with ‘trying’ to be more present. For me, that ‘trying’ element is an intellectual thing. It looks like there’s something we have to *do* with the thoughts we observe (which includes ‘observing’ them in the first place!) … all of which only makes sense to do if we see thought as problematic to start with.
Where’s the problem? It’s just thought! 🤷🏻♂️
For me, the key difference is to see that you can’t *not* be present, as is beautifully described by Leo Hartong, in one of my favourite books, [*Awakening to the Dream*](https://amzn.to/4rSnQ1b?ref=gilespcroft.com):
> *“You may make a great effort to be fully here and now, but even if you wanted to, could you be anywhere else? Even when you take your mind for a walk down memory lane, get caught up in fantasies, or anticipate some future event, you are here and now.*
> *“Ask yourself how many steps it takes to get to where you are? How much time does it take to arrive at this moment? How much effort is required to be what you already are?”*
Maybe there’s a reason they call it the great no-thing.
💟
Giles
p.s. Your regular reminder of the [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/) quote that underpins ALL of this:
> ***“Thought, in and of itself, is harmless.”***
Rest in the truth of that one, and there’s no ‘practicing’ to be done!
### Related
[Trying is lying“Do or do not. There is no try.” 🧘🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/)
### Look up!
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/look-up/
Last updated: 2026-08-13T10:36:44.000Z
I was taking the recycling out, late last night, ‘minding my own business’ (i.e. innocently thinking about the Giles Ego Construct 📦 and all its perceived problems), when I happened to look up.
Proper dark, Autumn chill, a cloudless night and… STARS!!!
🌌 ✨
It absolutely stopped me in my tracks.
I put the bags down and just stood there, gawping, until my neck began to hurt.
I mean… STARS!!! Suns in distant galaxies, just *carpeted* across the night sky.
I don’t know why it hit me so hard - maybe I haven’t looked up for a while? Maybe I haven’t been outdoors in the dark for ages?
I mean, I’ve *seen* them from the window (my daughter and I spotted Saturn from her bedroom, just the other night.)
But there’s no substitute for that expansive mantle of glittering light in the heavens.
It’s the most awe-inspiring thing.
My mind went instantly silent and I felt… well, no words will do it justice. It’s beyond description.
😶
It was an experience that has nothing to do with words, or knowledge, or belief.
*\[Whispers: It's the feeling of Innate Health. Of the Now.\]*
It was just amazing. And has stuck with me all today, really helping me to put things into perspective.
(Realising my problems were thought-created, I sacked off work and went out on my bike 😆)
So tonight, if it’s clear, pause the telly and stand outside looking at the stars for a few minutes.
It’s the perfect reset.
🌟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[This moment right in front of you“The moment in front of you is a gift from creation” \~ Michael A Singer 🌌The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-moment-right-in-front-of-you/)
### What are they thinking?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-are-they-thinking/
Last updated: 2026-06-11T11:55:49.000Z
A couple of days ago, I very [briefly mentioned](https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-just-dont-think-about-it/) the notion of separate realities, so in [this little video clip](https://youtu.be/sD7YA2ADw%5FQ?ref=gilespcroft.com), we’re going to take a trip down memory lane—hop on the nostalgia bus with me!—to the year 2020, when I was running a series of workshops with an intrepid group of explorers.
Here’s a youthful, slightly more behaired Giles, running a little exercise to make what’s right under our noses, a bit more clear.
I love how Giles, *circa.* February 2020 chucks in a bit of a bombshell at the end there.
😂
But really, if this was seen at a societal, or better still at a *species* level, it would mean the end to conflict.
Because *all* conflict stems from not seeing how separate realities work; from clinging onto our illusory separateness; from defending an identity that’s made of the same stuff as our nightly dreams.
🤷🏻
When we come to the realisation that it’s simply not possible for another to see what we see, our compassion levels go through the roof and we’re left with just one tool at our disposal to even *begin* to understand how they are perceiving the world…
Listening.
Which I’ll come back to next week.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[How are you listening?A powerful video on the mechanics of listening, and how to get the most out of interactions ✨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-are-you-listening/)
Jump in your Time Machine and skip forward a couple of weeks to the video on Listening
### “I just don't think about it”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-just-dont-think-about-it/
Last updated: 2026-04-24T08:42:56.000Z
The other day I watched the film *Children of Men* again. First time in years. Maybe even my second only viewing since I saw it at the cinema in… *\[checks* [*IMDB*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206634/?ref=gilespcroft.com)*\]* … 2006!
😵
It’s a *phenomenal* movie, and if you haven’t seen it, seek it out.
Anyway, there was a line in there that at the time I remember being a bit offended by, and this time it just made me laugh.
If you don’t know the story, without ruining it for you, it’s set in a dystopian 2027 that’s all too believable. For one reason or another, the world’s basically gone to hell in a handcart, in a big way, and the human species is in its end stages.
And in one scene, the protagonist, Theo (Clive Owen, in his best role ever) is visiting a well-off relative who lives in an ivory tower, insulated from all the horrors around him. He’s got a high-paying ministerial job and is swanning around in his luxury flat, eating fine food, admiring his art collection and getting on with what remains of his life, seemingly unconcerned about humanity’s imminent demise.
As they’re about to part, Theo (who [uses alcohol](https://www.gilespcroft.com/abstainiversary/) to dull his existential pain) laughs at his cousin, incredulous at how laid back he seems about it all, saying:
> *“You kill me. A hundred years from now, there won't be one sad f\*\*\* to look at any of this. What keeps you going?!”*
And his cousin replies, as if it’s the most common sense thing ever, and he’s frankly *baffled* as to why Theo hasn’t cottoned on to the obvious solution:
“I just don't think about it.”
😂🤣
Now we can argue the rights and wrongs of his behaviour, morals and attitude, (your ‘[spiritual bypass](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-are-not-the-buddha/)’ alarm might be going off right now) but at the level of principle, it’s hard to argue with his logic!
---
We all live in seemingly separate, thought-created realities and we’re all always doing what makes sense to us. Including those we disagree with.
Our pal [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/), in a very short chapter of his book entitled *‘Understand Separate Realities’* implores us to be more mindful of this, saying:
> *“When we expect to see things differently; when we take it as a given that others will do things differently and react differently to the same stimuli, the compassion we have for ourselves and for others rises dramatically.”*
It’s one of those delicious paradoxes that our absolute uniqueness—nobody can *ever* see something the same way as you, because they can’t experience your thought-created reality!—is what unites us all.
💖
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[8+ billion separate realitiesThere’s some stuff you know, right? But what if you’re wrong? 😳The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/)
Dig into the notion of separate realities a little deeper.
### “I can’t do it!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-cant-do-it/
Last updated: 2026-02-14T12:05:36.000Z
I was having a coaching conversation with someone who was struggling a bit with the experience they were having. I can’t really recall any of the details of what we discussed, but I do remember there was a moment where everything seemed really hard and overwhelming for them, and they said, with some dismay,
> *“I can’t do it!”*
And *this* is the problem.
**We think that whatever ‘it’ is, we have to do it.**
So let’s rephrase that shall we, see if we can’t get a bit more clarity on it. Here we go:
🧠
****The mind thinks that whatever ‘it’ is, it has to do it.**
Now, that’s quite a different proposition, isn’t it?
## The ultimate imposter
If we scale back a bit, we’ll see that this is so called ‘imposter syndrome’ in a different guise… it’s innocently placing the ownership of our actions, decisions, achievements, and ‘failures’ on to an idea of who we are (or how we should be).
Making out like ‘we’ (ego) are making these things happen, through sheer force of will. But here are your considerations for the day:
**What if…** the mind’s not doing *any* of it?
**What if…** life’s living you, moving you, breathing you, and then the mind is [overlaying a narrative](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-mind-has-been-quite-helpful-recently/) on top of what it observes?
**What if…** it’s the very notion of ‘you’, (the S.E.C. or Subscriber Ego Construct 📦) having to do ‘it’ that is keeping you stuck from moving on?
*\[Oh, I know. Tedious, isn’t it?! “Giles - stop this, it’s not helping!” … said a mind* 😉 *Hey, it’s a Sunday Spiritual, ok? I get to bring out the big guns at the weekend\]*
## Not ‘me’ writing
Let’s bring it a little closer to home, with a real life example: the regular writing deadlines I face; be they the monthly articles I write for the Focus Magazine, or these Daily Reminders.
It’s all become easier over time. And quicker over time. I’m way more likely to be able to just sit down and knock something out, whereas before I used to think about it all in advance. A lot!
Now, from the outside it looks like I’ve just got more experience and I’ve got used to doing it. That it’s all skills-based. That I’ve gained confidence. That I’m managing my processes better.
(I can assure you, the last one of those is *not* a thing 😂)
But I’ve seen it’s something deeper than that.
Here’s what I think is going on:
Over time, I’ve gathered my own evidence that it’s not ‘me’ (i.e. the Giles Ego Construct 📦) doing any of it. It *can’t* be – it’s just a thought!
And *that’s* why it’s become easier. Because it just makes sense to me to place less and less responsibility on to my Thought System to do any of this stuff.
## Practicalities
In simple, practical terms, it means worrying less about things that *seem* hard… and getting a whole load of time and energy back, as a result. And of course I have more of an experience of being connected to wisdom & intuition: it’s easier to hear.
Does ego still think it’s in charge, and offer ‘helpful’ (i.e. massively judgemental, largely negative, fear-based) suggestions?
Hell yeah!
Do I follow that thinking with my attention?
No. That’s what’s changed.
When it comes to doing *anything* new or hard, the mind/left brain narrator still jumps in with insecurity, but I know it’s doing that **only because it thinks *it’s* responsible for completing the task**… when it’s not.
So I don’t pay it any attention.
Other than being kind to it, of course. You could say I show ‘self-compassion’.
It’s doing its best. It’s just a got a *vastly* over-inflated notion of what its job actually is!
In reality, life’s calling the shots. Life’s in charge of inspiration and creativity and fresh new ideas and motivation and possibility and purpose and productivity… and ego’s just along for the ride.
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
p.s. I’m often asked, *“What on earth is the point of the left brain narrator then?”* and my answer is usually something along the lines of *“I don’t know, I’m not an Evolutionary Anthropologist!”*
So just now I asked Chat GPT a carefully phrased question, and you can read a transcript of the answer it came up with, here: [What is the purpose of the left brain narrator](https://chatgpt.com/share/66f6d042-defc-8006-b20c-90722d7882d1?ref=gilespcroft.com)*?* (You’ll see I used ‘Chris Niebauer’, author of the brilliant [*No Self, No Problem*](https://amzn.to/4aR8AvC?ref=gilespcroft.com), in my prompt, but if you *really* wanted to go down the rabbit hole, you could ask it what ‘Giles P Croft’ thinks 😂🤣)
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://payhip.com/b/XbE2U?ref=gilespcroft.com)
****The No-Self Bundle** (Premium 🔖 Written & Audio Content)
You don’t need to ask a bot what it has scraped off the internet about me, so it can guess what I think about the nature and role of ‘self’ in our lives, because I’ve written three essays on the topic!
****Get it direct from a real human, instead – me!**
You can learn more, and get a discounted bundle of these three transformative essays, over in the online store. Each one comes as a beautifully presented PDF and is accompanied with an audio-narrated (by me) version.
[Visit The Store ](https://payhip.com/b/XbE2U?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Consciousness is bonkers
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/consciousness-is-bonkers/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T21:18:41.000Z
So I’m away with my sister and we’re having food together in a busy, bustling breakfast room.
We’re sat opposite each other, talking. And listening. Back and forth, the conversation goes.
I'm having an experience. Of her. And our exchange.
One moment later there’s a pause in our conversation and all of a sudden I can hear all the other stuff going on concurrently: people talking loudly, just behind us, clatter of crockery, music playing.
But a few seconds ago, it didn't exist for me.
It was not there.
It's not that I couldn't hear it—my ears were working just fine and the sound waves will have been waggling my inner ear bones (smallest bones in the body, don’t you know?) in exactly the same way—it's that **it did not exist in my consciousness**.
🫥
It was not being brought to life, therefore I did not experience it.
At all.
Bonkers!
---
[Yesterday I spoke about ‘presence’](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/presence/) and how it’s something we experience *“when we’re not attending to ‘personal’ thinking”* and this is all part and parcel of the same thing.
One moment I was present to my sister’s voice, my voice and the details of our conversation (to the total exclusion of all other stimuli).
Another moment I was suddenly present to all the other stimuli in my environment… and realistically, thinking got revved back up again.
And the next, I was putting that left brain of mine to good use, excusing myself from the conversation, apologising, whipping out my phone and jotting down the notes for this **Daily Reminder**!
And on it goes.
Wherever our attention is, that’s what consciousness brings to life and that is literally the reality we experience.
That’s bloody good to know, I’d say!
---
Hey – let’s take it a step further.
Why not commit to putting *your* attention on looking in this direction. Really prioritise it!
I can pretty much guarantee things will change for the better, *whatever* situation you’re facing and however much your mind doesn’t think it will help.
Consciousness may be bonkers, but it's where it's at!
💟
Giles
### Related
[Presence is contextualAllowing the mind to dictate what presence should feel like precludes us from experiencing it 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/presence-is-contextual/)
The lesser spotted ‘****Really Important’** Daily Reminder - don't miss it!
### Presence is contextual
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/presence-is-contextual/
Last updated: 2025-12-02T22:19:56.000Z
Most of these Daily Reminders are lighthearted pointers for you to remember something that you already know to be true, but have forgotten, because you’re human.
Our experience of life is one big illusion and it’s so easy to get sucked into the drama of our thinking, that we can go for days… weeks… years… lifetimes even, without waking up to the dream.
But every now and again I’ll outline something I see as being **Really Important**. Something that I see lots of people—everyone, to some degree—tripping over. A little insidious belief that keeps people either stuck (which is unfortunate), or, more commonly, unwilling to even look in this direction (which is heartbreaking).
This is one of those Really Important ones, so LISTEN UP, people!! 😆
---
It’s funny how the mind works, with its categories and its rules about:
- 📦 how-things-should-be, and
- 📦 what-things-are-like
This is bad enough when it turns its attention to people and things and situations—which are visible and easy for it to talk about—but when it comes to the formless, it’s completely out of its depth and it starts talking utter balderdash.
So when it comes to the exploration of how we experience life and who we really are, one of its favourite things to do is to fabricate a set of rules about:
📦
****WHAT PRESENCE SHOULD BE LIKE**
*(And I’m using the word ‘presence’ here, but I could slap on any number of language-based, mind-created metaphors, to point to that space before ‘personal’ thought.)*
It’s hilarious to me that the mind thinks it’s qualified to do this, because presence itself—The Now—is something that is defined by its absence! 😆
The mind cannot know the space before itself.
But that doesn’t stop it trying!
So, chances are, reading this, your S.E.C. (Subscriber Ego Construct 📦) will already have furnished you with a list of characteristics, constraints, and boundaries, all invoked by the word ‘presence’.
*(Just thank your lucky stars I’m not referring to it as ‘God’ – that usually gets the hornet’s nest a-buzzing *real* good!* 🐝😂)
As if ‘presence’ could possibly be ‘like’ any one thing.
Minds, honestly 🙄
---
The problem is, when the mind does this, it goes hand in hand with a big old accompanying story, that includes:
- 📦 how-it-should-feel
- 📦 what-happens-there
- 📦 what’s-required-to-get-there
- 📦 consequences-of-being-there
- 📦 what-you-have-to-give-up-when-you’re-there…
…and so on, and so on.
In fact, just writing that list, I’ve created the false notion that ‘presence’ is a place, and it’s somewhere or something that we’re separate from.
See what I mean?
Total minefield.
🤯
And all of this stops us. *Because* we believe there are rules e.g. that it’s only for certain people. That there are entry requirements. Or that it requires effort we’re not prepared to put in. Or that we’ll have to commit to doing something differently. Or that we can’t understand it so it’s just not worth exploring.
I see so much of this.
So much.
It’s why, as a species, this is where we’re at. Enslaved to ego. Forever doing its bidding and wondering why the world looks like it’s going to hell in a hand cart.
🤷🏻♂️
---
One day, I’m out in the depths of a forest with a client, and we’re exploring this notion. We see that, over the course of the walk & talk, ‘presence’ shows up in different ways:
> 🌳 Surrounded by nature, not attending to your so called ‘personal’ thinking, it’ll show up as **awe**.
> 👂🏻 Listening to another, not attending to personal thinking, it’ll show up as **connection**.
> 🐕 Following a footpath through someone’s back garden where a dog starts barking, not attending to personal thinking, it’ll show up as **alertness**; readiness for action.
We saw that ‘presence’ is beautifully, wondrously, *perfectly* contextual because it is life’s energy and it is made of wisdom.
More…
> 🧘🏻♀️ If you’re meditating and you’re not attending to personal thinking… it’ll show up as **peace** and **oneness**.
> 🏌🏻♂️ If you’re competing or performing and you’re not attending to personal thinking… it’ll show up as **flow**.
> 💑 If you’re with your partner and neither of you are attending to personal thinking… it’ll show up as **love**.
> 💻 If you’re super-busy and you’re not attending personal thinking… it’ll show up as **productivity**…
…and so on, and so on.
But if we listen to the mind’s limited view on WHAT PRESENCE SHOULD BE LIKE we’ll spend our lives missing it completely, just because it doesn’t satisfy the entry criteria, as defined by this silly little thing: 📦
In truth, it can, and does, feel like anything!
Because it’s there all the time—it’s what you actually *are*—and you get to experience it any moment that you’re not attending to ‘personal’ thinking.
It’ll show up. In *exactly* the way it needs to, for that particular context.
No entry requirements whatsoever.
Brilliant.
💟
Giles
### “Remember to have fun!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/remember-to-have-fun/
Last updated: 2026-01-17T19:38:05.000Z
This mind is such a moaning minnie sometimes, it’s tiresome. Especially when it spills over into my behaviour, my mood and my words.
I’d been preparing to go away on the first multi-day cycle tour I’ve done in years, and it was ***not*** going to plan:
- I’d been super-busy and my training had gone out the window
- I’d been eating unhealthily and had put weight on
- The physical thing I was worried about most, riding for a few days in a row (my neck) was screwed before I even set off
- I hadn’t been able to fit everything into one pannier and the bike weighed much more than I’d have liked
- And to top it all, the weather forecast was pants!!
It got to the point where I almost didn’t want to go, and this was no doubt reflected in a rather glum-faced Giles standing there, ready to set off.
My patient, loving wife grabbed me by the face, gave me a big smackeroo 💋 and said,
> *“Remember to have fun!”*
LOL.
Seen through my misery-lenses, even that seemed a bit off.
🤦🏻♂️
Of course, as soon as I got on the road in the drizzle, with my sore neck and heavy bike and started riding slowly, my spirits lifted.
---
As the day wore on, miles went under the wheels, and my mood fluctuated, I came back to my wife’s statement from time to time, observing both moments where I was indeed ‘having fun’ (let’s call those ‘joy’) and moments where I really was not (‘despair’).
(A bit like life, eh?)
But whereas you might expect the moments of ‘joy’ to be the ones that were pain free, with quiet roads, nice weather and luscious scenery, and, conversely, the moments of ‘despair’ to be associated with soreness, tiredness and busy, uninspiring stretches of main road in the rain… there was actually a different pattern.
It was more like:
- Joy = Not thinking (+ scenery + pain level + traffic + weather)
- Despair = Thinking (+ scenery + pain level + traffic + weather)
Whenever I turned my attention from the mind’s complaints and back to the simple sensations of life—*whatever* the scenery, soreness, sun levels & state of the traffic—a sort of inner calm descended and I felt grateful for the experience.
Ring any bells?
(I wonder if I like cycling so much because it is such an *excellent* metaphor for life?!?!)
So listen, whatever you’re up to this weekend and whatever situation you find yourself in; however much pain there might be—physical or emotional—and whatever the weather’s doing… remember to have fun.
💋
Giles
### Metaphors all the way down
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/metaphors-all-the-way-down/
Last updated: 2026-01-14T15:09:49.000Z
I saw one of those engagement-type questions on Facebook:
> **“What couldn't you live without?”**
It was a no-brainer for me (in that moment, at least):
🎵
***MUSIC!**
I can’t conceive of a world without music.
I’ve almost always got a song in my head.
I whistle, I hum, I tap, I click, I play, I sing, I listen. (I wind my housemates up a bit with this behaviour sometimes, sorry! 😬)
Music's been a constant companion in my life. A soundtrack, holding the most evocative of memories and feeling states inside those 3-10 minute parcels of sound.
Frequencies resonating with my very soul, in a way I can’t understand.
And then there's the lyrics.
I think that all art is a metaphor for life: it's all a creative expression of the energy of life. Form from the formless; referencing that process in some way, through its creation.
But sometimes, just sometimes, song lyrics more explicitly pointing to the mechanics of how we work as humans—the principles behind life—come along, and those tracks *really* stick with me.
I’ve professed my love of **Howard Jones** before. And the lyrics of Martin Gore (that’s **Depeche Mode**, to you).
But a current favourite, that’s really got under my skin is the [opener from the latest](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxqt%5FOnR3Qc&list=PLFT2U25Xu77W71IhPH7cuqi-E%5FybgW7DG&index=6&pp=iAQB8AUB&ref=gilespcroft.com) **Tears for Fears** album, and it’s like they’re talking about my little stick man diagram and the two ways of being (💭 Thought Realisation vs. Innate Health ❤️), or the left vs right brain consciousness experiences, when they sing:
> *“Reason gonna blind you*
> *Cripple and confine you*
> *Listen as your poor heart breaks”*
We’ve become such slaves to our thinking, we’ve become crippled and confined by it. Listen to what your heart is saying, people! This is your life!
I love it when a combination of music and lyric hits the spot with me like this.
How about you?
What's your favourite song lyric that points to the underlying human condition?
💟
Giles
### Attention paid
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/attention-paid/
Last updated: 2026-04-25T08:51:07.000Z
The other day, I wrote something about the two minute green tea timer I use, to prevent me from accidentally poisoning myself.
(*‘*[*A trusted system*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-trusted-system/)*’* if you missed it.)
That’s me, winning at life, one realisation at a time
😂
When I was wrapping it up for you, my head was very much into the *next* thing I was about to do, and I didn’t really conclude it properly.
(There's a lesson there, I'm sure 🤔)
Why was I telling you that setting a timer gets a task so off my mind, that it no longer exists in consciousness, or [even in reality](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-ticking-clock/)?
But then someone posted a little comment about it on social media, and I realised the conclusion I should have shared with you.
I replied to them,
> *“If only people could learn to pay this little attention to their insecurities!* 😆*”*
…because *that’s* the thing I wanted to say!
The opposite of having something ***off* your mind** is having something ***on* your mind** and given that thought is the ONLY thing we EVER get to experience, throughout our ENTIRE lives… well, it doesn’t really make sense to go paying attention to the crap your mind comes out with, does it?
😱
Because then, that’s your reality!
So, next time you catch yourself fretting about something—anything!—set a metaphorical two minute timer for it… forget about it, and get on with your life.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Worry tomorrowQuick life-hack for worrying less 👊🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/worry-tomorrow/)
Like, literally, why not procrastinate on worrying?! 😆
### Correlation and causation
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/correlation-and-causation/
Last updated: 2025-11-22T00:22:40.000Z
My wife—a [yarn & crafts shop](https://www.instagram.com/thewoolcroft/?ref=gilespcroft.com) owner—and I sometimes joke that essentially we’re both in the business of providing-psychological-support.
This Guardian article, which I forwarded on to her immediately, being a case in point:
[Arts and crafts give greater life satisfaction than work, survey suggestsResearchers say such activities could be important tool in improving public healthThe GuardianNicola Davis](https://www.theguardian.com/society/article/2024/aug/16/arts-and-crafts-give-greater-life-satisfaction-than-work-survey-suggests?ref=gilespcroft.com)
Hurrah! Knitting for the win!
🧶🏆🙌🏻
Ok, you can stop reading now, missus. You’ve read all you need to read…
Hey, d’you want a cup of tea? I’m making! We can talk about maybe running joint retreats together! 💞
---
*\[Whispers…* 🤫*\]*
What if it’s not the knitting, doing it?
What if that wholesome pastime of yours, that you rightfully love and dutifully make space for in your life because it’s how you “look after your mental health” isn’t actually the *cause* of your good feelings?
😮
What if that's a trick of the mind?
What if the feelings of connection and oneness and peace and stillness and flow and love and fulfilment are just **who you really are**, underneath the noise of your psychology?
What if all these wholesome practices (as well as all the more physically and societally damaging ones our minds get addicted to) are just ways we’ve learned to give ourselves permission to temporarily drop all the BS reasons our mind is giving us as to why our essential nature—what we always come back to—is ***not*** peace and stillness and love etc?
> (Because—think about it—if it were ‘the thing’ doing it, you’d get these feelings every. single. time. you did the thing, and are you telling me you’ve not tried doing the thing to feel better and yet found yourself still to be in a foul mood? Really???)
[](https://xkcd.com/552/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The root of cause of human misery - misunderstanding where our experience is coming from!
What if…?
🤔
Look, I’m not going out of my way to be a killjoy here. Do whatever “makes you” happy (especially if it brings things of beauty into the world).
Please just know what’s going on ‘underneath.’ Because this next bit is super-important:
**You don’t <> to do *anything* to experience what you already are.**
💝
Giles
🔑
****Key Message**: You ARE… peace, love & wisdom (**and* the power to create the illusion that you are not) **\~ Jack Pransky*
### Creative nothing
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-nothing/
Last updated: 2026-01-05T16:32:13.000Z
What do we do when we’re so rusty that it seems we’ve become completely disconnected from creativity?
This was the problem my client of mine was facing: it had been work, work, work for so long, they’d forgotten how to do anything else.
😖
And because the mind loves its habits—its neurological pathways of familiarity—every time they tried to think of something, it just came up with a list of objections.
Yup, we’ve all been there.
It’s a form of procrastination, isn’t it? Keeping the foot of thinking firmly on the neck of creativity, with its predictions of what’s going to happen, how we’ll feel, and why even trying is all just one bad idea.
🙄
But here’s the thing.
Because creativity is an unstoppable force—that we inadvertently apply the brakes to, with our thinking—in principle, all we have to do to get ourselves unstuck is to take our foot off the brakes.
But to do so, you might have to be a bit sneaky, so as not to wake the slumbering ego.
*(Don’t let your mind hear what I’m about to tell you. Read it really secretively* 🤫*)*
## Creative nothing
That’s why, to my client, I recommended ‘creative nothing’.
Creative nothing is when you do something that the mind barely registers as creativity.
It’s doing something that’s got nothing pinned on it.
No outcome to attach to, no expectations to get the old left brain revved up, just something simple, a bit different but familiar, and fun.
So for me, it might be something like starting to get into a music mix. Literally just looking at my ‘Next Mixtape 🔥’ playlist on my phone, and idly pushing tracks around, to see how they could fit together; maybe checking the BPMs with a little app I have.
It’s the sort of thing that I love so much (but forget is even a thing, when I’m really busy for extended periods), that once I’ve got started, it snowballs quickly.
*(You’ll have you own thing you’ve maybe just remembered, as you’re tiptoeing quietly around your mind, reading this.)*
Most importantly, I have nothing on it. No skin in the game.
Sure, if I really get into it, there’ll be an end product, but really, I do it for the sheer enjoyment of doing it. (The journey *is* the destination, you know?)
It’s ‘creative nothing’ and once I get going (up late at night; headphones on, lost in music) it’s the most foot-off-the-brakes I could possibly be.
And—crucially—you’ll find that creativity begets creativity.
*(My business coach pointed this out to me and you have him to thank for these Daily Reminders getting off the ground in the first place!)*
The more creative nothing you do (i.e. the more evidence you get for yourself, of how creativity just flows, when you’re not being distracted by the mind’s bickering, insecurity and future-gazing) the easier it gets.
Before you know it, you’ve got your creative mojo back.
All from doing creative nothing.
Give it a go and—literally—see what happens!
💟
Giles
### Inspiration and creativity
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/inspiration-and-creativity/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T20:04:00.000Z
When it comes to creative endeavours (or just getting stuff done in general), our understanding of the role that inspiration plays, and how it works, is key.
Indeed, when I put the shout out for people to ask questions about the creative process, this sticking point was raised by more than one person.
> *But how do I create when I’m not feeling inspired?* 🤔
Ring any bells?
In this short video clip, taken from the Creativity [Video Masterclass](https://payhip.com/gilespcroft/collection/video-masterclasses?ref=gilespcroft.com), I make one of the most important distinctions you’ll come across, around this:
This is the distinction that changes ***everything***.
💟
Giles
### A trusted system
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-trusted-system/
Last updated: 2026-04-25T08:52:58.000Z
Did you know that a cup of tea without milk can make you throw up, if you drink it on an empty stomach?
No, neither did I, until it happened to me.
It’s something to do with tannins, apparently.
I forgot to take a teabag out one morning (for about 10 minutes 😬), drank it anyway and found myself hurling, a further 10 minutes down the line.
🤮🚽
Ever since then, *“2 minute green tea, please!”* has been a real thing in our house.
Which of course needs a timer, because… well, it’d be like a game of vomiting roulette, entrusting that kind of thing to *my* left brain, hah!
And you know what always happens?
I pour the water in the mug, set the 2 minute timer on my watch, carry on doing whatever it is I’m doing…
…then all of a sudden there’s this buzzing on my wrist.
> 📦🗣️: *What the hell’s that all about? Some sort of To Do reminder going off or something? An email through?*
\[Looks down⌚️\]
Oh!
😮
☕️🤦🏻♂️
The craziness of how easy it is to *completely* forget the tea—so quickly!—once I’ve outsourced the menial task of remembering to a trusted system (i.e. a device, with a timer), makes me chuckle every day.
Consciousness! If something’s not in it, it [literally doesn’t exist](https://www.gilespcroft.com/consciousness-is-bonkers/).
---
Setting that timer is all about using the [right tool for the job](https://www.gilespcroft.com/right-tool-for-the-job/), isn’t it?
I mentioned the other day, how [planning can enrich](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-paradox-of-planning/) our present-moment experience, and now I’ve finished putting together the 1h40min [Creativity Video Masterclass](https://gilespcroft.link/creativity?ref=gilespcroft.com) (which is *brilliant!*) I’m even more convinced that the key to being more creative is about understanding what tools to use, how, and when.
Because when we really understand how something—a creative process, a mind—works, then it all just makes sense and goes in the right direction, pretty much of its own accord.
We don’t have to fight it any more.
It’s like the fresh perspective we’ve been given on it all unlocks something, and things just flow.
And creative flow is where it's at!
💟
Giles
READY TO GO DEEPER?
[](https://gilespcroft.link/creativity?ref=gilespcroft.com)
The CREATIVITY VIDEO MASTERCLASS is for you, if you:
- Have a creative endeavour you love, but you don’t do enough of
- Feel like your creativity has been slowly stifled over the years and you don’t know how to reignite it
- Identify as “just not being creative” and would love to change that
- Have a creative project or pastime that you know you’re procrastinating on
- Feel like you want to be more creative, generally
[Visit The Store ](https://gilespcroft.link/creativity?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Related
[Attention paidThe ultimate life hack: procrastinate on worrying! 😂The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/attention-paid/)
The punchline to the Daily Reminder above
### The paradox of planning
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-paradox-of-planning/
Last updated: 2026-01-31T13:37:13.000Z
When it comes to creativity, there’s an apparent paradox.
You see, you and I both know that creativity stems from presence.
Which means it feels kind of spontaneous; a proper right-brain-consciousness experience 🧠 ✅
And it doesn’t seem like there should be much left-brain-consciousness activity (like planning) going on ❌ 🧠
And yet, when you better understand the *mechanics* of creativity, you know what’s *most* important is not stemming the flow 🌊
And paradoxically, sometimes if we *don’t* do any planning, that really stifles our creativity.
Here's why.
---
Back in the day, I used to deliver lectures on Productivity, because I was quite the disciple of David Allen’s ‘[Getting Things Done](https://amzn.to/3ZII29u?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ (GTD) methodology, which I realise now, is the equivalent of bringing the Innate Health understanding into the world of Business Productivity.
Because its guiding philosophy—what underpinned all the fancy techniques and rules that form the GTD system—was maintaining a quiet mind, to let creativity rip.
And the best way to do that was to separate out all the analytical thinking (left brain) from the flow-state doing (right brain).
It was genius, really. A genuine codifying of the human experience.
---
So, case in point: If I just rock up every day to write these Daily Reminders without any planning, it can be a slow, arduous, frustrating process. I have to do a whole bunch of analytical thinking ***and*** creative writing, all in the same sitting.
And that’s really not very good for creativity.
But if I map out the structure of several days’ Daily Reminders, work out how best to slot them all together, and have that all ready and waiting for me in a trusted system (I use [Trello](https://trello.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com)), then when I rock up, I’ve done all the analytical, left-brain stuff in advance… which allows the more right-brain creativity aspects to flow more easily.
It’s simple when someone’s pointed out to you how it works.
---
So here’s your Paradox Alert:
🚨
Planning the future allows us to be more present!!
😲
Now, don’t get me wrong, it can be quite a subtle distinction and there’s a fine line between planning for presence and simply procrastinating on producing!
Beware of becoming a slave to it; planning the juice out of life.
Because that way anxiety lies.
For me, it’s all about doing what makes sense—[working with the mind, not against it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)—and I’ve found the deeper my grounding in the Principles around the topics of creativity & creating has become, the more obvious those distinctions are, and the easier the process is.
I'd encourage you to get your own evidence, and for me, that evidence is right here, on these pages.
Because I've not missed a single Daily Reminder (and all the creative writing that entails) since I started, three months ago… something I simply could not have comprehended, three months and one day ago!
🤷🏻♂️
Giles
### Related
[You don’t have to stop planningBeing present does \*not\* mean stopping planning. That’s more mind-talk 🙄The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/you-dont-have-to-stop-planning/)
### Everything should be ok now
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/everything-should-be-ok-now/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T21:16:25.000Z
I’ve had a few conversations recently with people who’ve been doing a bit of exploring—about how they’re experiencing life and who they really are—and they’ve slowed down enough, and got curious enough to have a *huge* insight.
Which in some ways is fantastic, but in others can be a bit troublesome.
⚠️
**First, let me say, in my experience, the kind of heavens-parting-life-changing-on-a-dime sorts of insights you hear about are few and far between, and probably somewhat embellished.*
**For most people it’s a steady chipping-away at conditioned beliefs, which is why I describe* [**my work*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals) *mostly as being a guide for your journey through this stuff. Usually, it takes time!*
## **The problem**
The problem with these big, sudden insights is that it’s a pretty exciting experience to have. It’s like a veil is temporarily drawn back, we suddenly realise something truly *colossal* about the nature of things, and life looks *completely* different as a result.
The aftermath of this (speaking from personal experience here) can be a heavenly time. As one client put it the other day,
> *“I was floating around on the ceiling for about a month.”*
I myself was so relieved/excited/ecstatic when I had an experience of my own Innate Health, I would definitely have qualified for a diagnosis or two, had I been examined by a traditional psychiatrist, during that period.
*(I have heard first hand tales of people failing Mini Mental State tests, and in one extreme example, being sectioned, as a result of a profound insight!* 😱*)*
Now, can you *imagine* what a mind makes of all this?!?!
🤯
I can tell you pretty much the first thing it will say:
📦
***“Everything should be ok now.”**
Which kind of makes sense, because so much useless mind rubbish (i.e. all the stuff that was giving the impression of everything ***not*** being ok) has been cleared out of the way by the insight.
Why would we go back to believing all that nonsense? Surely we’ll feel this good for the rest of our lives? This total clarity must remain, because we’ve seen that clarity is our true nature? 🤷🏻♂️
Nothing will upset us ever again, hurrah!!
🥳
## **I’ve got bad news**
But it doesn’t appear to work like that, I’m afraid.
Because minds are tricky little bastards and nature abhors a vacuum.
😆
So we come back down to earth.
And that’s where the problems start.
I’ve seen minds go in several different directions from this point, but all of them have been pretty much variations on a theme around ‘*doing it wrong’* or ‘*having lost it’* or even thinking it didn’t really happen in the first place.
It can be *profoundly* dispiriting (I mean, who *wouldn’t* want to feel totally f\*\*\*ing brilliant ALL THE TIME?!) and it can lead people to innocently spend many years chasing that original high, as their mind desperately craves another hit of pure, unadulterated presence.
🌟
Enlightenment experiences: ★★★★★ but more addictive than crack.
If this is all sounding worryingly familiar to you, then I’ve a metaphor to share with you, that might help and reassure.
It’s not mine, I heard Jamie Smart talking about it once and it instantly made sense to me.
## **The Beachball**
It’s like for most of our lives we’re holding a massive beach ball under water. This takes effort and is a constant, huge struggle – the struggle of life lived in the thrall of the outside-in illusion.
Just in case you’d forgotten 😘
Then some cheeky sod comes along (Hi 👋🏻) and points out the true nature of things—*“Umm, had you noticed, it actually works the other way: inside-out”*—we have that big insight and all of a sudden, it’s like we’ve taken our hand off the beach ball (because we hadn’t even noticed we were doing that).
What’s going to happen to it? It’s going to fly up in the air, right?
You see that ball? That's your Level Of Consciousness, that is.
This is the high that can follow a really big, sudden insight, and it’s why they’re sometimes a bit of an issue.
Because, while effortless, this is no more of a natural situation than us actively holding it underwater – gravity’s still acting on it, so it’s going to come back down to sit on, and bob up and down on the water.
And minds, being particularly sensitive to sharp contrasts, interprets this as ‘having lost clarity’.
So no, you don’t get to live in ecstasy for the rest of your life, BUT at the same time you don’t go back to struggling to hold that ball under the water either.
(Why would you?)
So life gets a lot easier, and you have way more perspective on that bobbing-around on life’s ups and downs, going forwards.
And the ups and downs are still there. Because as [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) once said,
> *“Life is like any other contact sport; you're going to get your knocks. But it's not the knocks that count, it's how you handle them.”*
💟
Giles
p.s. There are 8+ billion people on planet earth, we all have [totally unique experiences](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/) and I’ve just outlined the **one** I had, and that a tiny proportion of my clients have described to me. That still leaves another 8+ billion readings of this process. So take it all with a pinch of salt! 😘
p.p.s Go back and read the title again. What have I told you about the word ‘should’?!?! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
### Related
[The red flag of ‘should’A disclaimer about the nature of advice 🚩The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/)
Here's what I have told you about the word ‘should’
### “Well, what d’you expect?”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/well-what-dyou-expect/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T14:18:35.000Z
My Chica had been doing some summer-holidays baking with a mate of hers (a process, I should point out, that was supervised not by me, but by my wife, who is a *legend*).
Anyway, I was mooching around the kitchen later that day and I found this cookie pictured up top!
💝😍💞🥰💓
It was unheralded, just lying there on the side and I was blown away.
Really quite overcome with love and gratitude.
She made that for *me!*
🥹
I went to find the baker, who was busy colouring something in, to express my heart-felt gratitude at such a nice gesture, and got a somewhat confused response:
> *“Well, what d'you expect? ‘Poopy-pants Dad,’ or something?!”*
😂
I had to pause, because of course while I *didn’t* expect that (although, to be fair, it’s *definitely* within the realms of possibility that it *could* have been decorated with ‘*Poopy-pants Dad’,* depending on what frame of mind the baker was in, while baking), I realised something else.
When she asked me that question, outright:
> *“Well, what d'you expect?”*
…I realised, with genuine surprise, that I expect nothing.
I don't take any of this stuff for granted.
If she’s loving, she’s loving. If she’s grumpy, she’s grumpy. If she’s irrationally hacked off with me for something I didn’t even say, two weeks ago, she’s… well, you get the picture.
And this has the immense benefit of making the little things so much more special.
😍
It goes to the heart of the Buddhist teachings, doesn’t it, about desire and expectation being the root of all suffering.
Now, I’m not a practicing anything, but I looked up some quotes for you - here’s a good one:
> **“Peace begins when expectation ends.”**
And another:
> **“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.”**
And like you (maybe) I’ve seen tons of quotes like that and in the past I think my mind has probably interpreted it as a doing:
> 📦🗣️: *“Ok, so you’re saying I have to stop expecting stuff, and everything will be peaceful? Awesome. Sign me up. So what do I do, now?”*
But here’s the deal. The reason why I was genuinely surprised, was because in that moment I just realised that I already *had* no expectations around this. It wasn’t a *doing* at all.
➤ It’s like no-expectations (and consequently, gratitude) is no effort at all.
➤ And expectations (and consequently, suffering) is actually the doing.
Simplicity manifest!
---
Since we’re talking Buddhist-type quotes today, let’s finish with this lovely little story I also came across (which I think is completely fictional, but nonetheless hammers home quite nicely the freedom that comes from subtraction of the unnecessary/the untrue):
**A man asked the Buddha:**
> *“I want happiness.”*
**The Buddha replied:**
> *“First remove ‘I,’ for that is Ego.*
> *Then remove ‘want,’ for that is Desire.*
> *See? Now you are left with only happiness.”*
Enjoy your weekend.
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[“This hasn’t worked”Dancing to the tune of ego’s wants is a game you can’t really win. But there’s a better way. 🎲The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-hasnt-worked/)
What happens when you **do* have a bunch of expectations
### Creativity is endless
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/creativity-is-endless/
Last updated: 2026-02-11T17:01:26.000Z
Writing these Daily Reminders has given me much deeper insight into the realm of creativity. It’s been quite wonderful… and eye-opening for me, too. It’s really helped me to get a feel for how creativity works; what’s important, and how it works.
💡
****CREATIVITY IS ENDLESS**
…is an insight that has steadily grown on me over the last (almost) three months of writing.
You see, I’ll go for days without inspiration.
*(Coincidentally, those are the days when I find my self thinking about itself and its problems quite a lot - I wonder if there could be any link???* 🧐🤔*)*
Anyway… days pass, seemingly without creativity.
My mind observes the ideas list I keep and sees that nothing has been added to it.
And it starts losing its sh\*t.
> 📦🗣️: *“Oh dear. I’ve made a grave error. I’m actually contemplating basing the foundations of my business on doing what I love most—writing—and look, I’ve already completely drained the well of creativity! Oh no!!!”* 😫😱
Then another day, with no warning, I find my self and the problems it creates remarkably absent.
And all of a sudden it’s like that bit in the Two Towers where the Ents pull down the dam that Saruman—himself a metaphor for the left brain (watch the DVD extras, you’ll find out for yourself)—has created above Orthanc… and all hell lets loose:
0:00
/0:10
1×
Creativity, unleashed 🌊
The ends of my fingers are smoking, such is the ferocity with which I’m typing. Everywhere I look, every conversation I have, every social media post I see, every comment made, every lyric I hear, every musical refrain, every thing I do, every tree, every object… EVERYWHERE!! … there’s evidence of Innate Health and creativity (and what gets in the way of them).
*(When this last happened, I was preparing food, and it just sat there going cold. Every time I went back to it, I’d have another idea!* 😆*)*
Creativity is infinite and endless and if I catch *any* of you saying (or thinking, as you read this) *“Oh, I’m just not creative”* I want you to imagine me reaching out of the screen and giving you a swift, loving slap around the chops.
🚫 Stop it!
🚫 Stop stopping creativity!!
🚫 Stop stemming its tide with your incessant thinking!!!
I love you and I want you to be bringing your gifts into the world.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Creativity - The Daily RemindersRemoving creative blocks by better understanding our essential nature: effortless creators of every moment 🤲🏼The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/creativity/)
All Daily Reminders tagged with [Creativity](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/creativity/)
### Embrace your inner weird
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/embrace-your-inner-weird/
Last updated: 2026-08-08T13:38:50.000Z
So I was in conversation with a client and they were bemoaning their perfectionist tendencies.
They didn’t like it when these tendencies reared their head. It felt like they got in the way of a nice peaceful life, and they felt a bit powerless to change them.
You know, those unwanted, seemingly important thoughts of how things [*should*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) (🚩) be, but aren’t, that you feel compelled to act upon?
I'm curious, what’s yours?
No?
Are you telling me you don’t have *any* weird sh\*t going on in your head?!
Wow. Let me know your secret!
😆
Anyway, speaking with this client, it just so happened, that this was me, that very same morning.
I found myself getting hacked off with inanimate objects on the kitchen work surface, wondering whether the little shelving unit against the wall gets moved sideways by the heavy chopping boards leaned up against it because YET AGAIN I suddenly can’t open the microwave door without it banging into the steamer and I really should be able to, because I made damn-well sure I could 😠
(Yeah, it's not pleasant in there, sometimes.)
And you, like my wife, when I put this theory to her in a somewhat exasperated fashion (*before* I’d had coffee, it must be noted), are probably thinking I need to seek help.
But here’s the thing.
💭
I own that sh\*t.
That’s *my* thought system. *My* conditioning. It's the G.E.C. (Giles Ego Construct 📦) at work.
Or… more accurately: it’s all happening on my watch.
- At times it will be there
- And at times it will not.
And when I’m *aware* of it…
- At times it will bother me (like earlier)
- At other times it will make me chuckle (like now).
(What does that tell you about [where feelings come from](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/)?)
It all depends on what state of consciousness I’m in and what reality is being created in that moment.
It changes all the time. None of it is true!
So I don’t take *any* of it seriously.
And it’s not a problem.
---
D’you know what *doesn’t* change? What *is* true? What I *do* take seriously?
❤️
The witnessing of it.
That’s who I am.
That sense of “I AM” which is perfectly ok whether or not Giles is bothered, bemused or beguiled by behaviour.
(Incidentally, this is why spiritual teachers are always referring to people as ‘one’ instead of ‘me’ or ‘you’ - not because they’re super-posh or anything, it’s just more precise.)
So, here’s ‘my’ advice, as ‘I’ take on the role of ‘a spiritual teacher’ (so many quote marks!):
> If one witnesses perfectionist tendencies arising, one knows that one is ok.
😐
Nope, it might be accurate, but it’s not for me.
Try this instead:
> Own your sh\*t—embrace your inner weird!—and stop making such a big deal about it, **because it’s no big deal.**
It’s just your 📦 doing its thing, from time to time.
The less of a deal you make of it, the less solid it will become, the less it will manifest and the less it will bother you.
Resistance is futile!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Created, not discoveredSeeing what’s \*not\* there when you’re doing your best work… that’s your ticket out 🫥The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/created-not-discovered/)
Digging a little deeper on this one.
### “Dad, I'd never have guessed this would be happening!”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/dad-id-never-have-guessed-this-would-be-happening/
Last updated: 2026-03-15T13:51:22.000Z
“This” being massaging my aching legs, after a 70 mile ride to the south coast.
We both love these times, because
- I get my legs put back together
- She gets cash
- She gets quite reflective
- We have really good chats
- She thinks it’s funny when I howl in pain, as she puts the full weight of her 10 year old frame through the massage stick she’s pummelling me with
🥺
And something she said while she was doing this demonstrated the mind’s **two greatest hits**, that [I mentioned the other day](https://www.gilespcroft.com/choosing-what-to-worry-about/):
## **1\. It tries to predict the future (badly)**
First she said:
> *“If I could go back and have a conversation with a younger version of myself, I would never have even been able to imagine massaging my Dad’s legs! But here I am!”*
The mind [only has the past](https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/) to go on. That’s *all* it has at its disposal. So it’s only natural that it can’t imagine stuff completely outside its frame of reference.
But stuff happens like that all the time! (Especially when you’re 10\. And, from what my clients tell me, especially when you have Innate Health coaching 😆)
It also likes to [prove itself right](https://www.gilespcroft.com/meetings-from-hell/). So if you’re pretty much convinced that x, y, or z will ‘never happen’ then subconsciously your mind will be looking for the evidence—OMG it really *loves* to prove itself ‘right’!—and you’re likely to experience whatever you believe. (Worth remembering.)
My Zen teacher continued, with the next hit:
## **2\. It predicts how we’ll feel in the future (even more badly)!**
> *“And Dad, even if I thought I’d be doing it, there’s no way I’d have thought that it would be my kind of thing. But it really is my kind of thing!”*
…and cackles again, as she goes at my aching calf with gusto, eliciting another involuntary yelp.
For me, this is the mind’s bigger ‘crime’ (if we can call it that – it’s all innocent; it’s a baked-in safety feature [from the cave-people days](https://www.gilespcroft.com/choosing-what-to-worry-about/)): taking that situation it’s dreamed up, in a future that we’ll never experience, and telling us how we’re going to feel.
It’s crackers!
Do you really want to be basing *any* of your decisions on that?
*REALLY?!?!*
😱
Anyway, I love that she’s having these insights at 10 years of age, and sharing them with me.
And I love the way my legs feel… the next day, at least.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Going fishingA powerful visual metaphor for the mind’s relationship to past, present and future 🕰️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/going-fishing/)
Where the mind gets all its information from, when it's predicting both of these 🎣
### Why acceptance seems so hard
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/why-acceptance-seems-so-hard/
Last updated: 2026-01-26T23:53:09.000Z
I was on a coaching call with a client. Near the end of our sessions together.
They’d given up the fight and life was looking a lot better, both at work and at home.
A happy customer!
And yet their mind still had a point to make (it’s what minds do), and it came out, almost as a final protest, raging against this process that it found hard at times.
The smile faded briefly as it spoke:
> *“Sometimes it’s really hard to accept…”*
And I had to agree.
It is.
For a mind.
Pretty much everything I point to is hard to accept … for a mind.
For instance:
> *“It’s really hard to accept that 100% of my feelings are coming from thought”*
Sure it is… for a mind.
It’s a pretty convincing illusion, that [can’t be seen through](https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/)!
OR…
> *“It’s really hard to accept that deep down, there is no ‘me’ - it’s just a thought.”*
Ohhh yes, it *is*… for a mind.
It’s a very natural, and occasionally helpful concept!
OR…
> *“It’s really hard to accept that free will is an illusion, and I’m not in control.”*
Of course it is… for a mind.
I don’t know if you’d noticed, but minds are pretty heavily invested in the idea that *they’re* in charge of everything… rather than just observing and commenting!
---
In all these cases, ‘you’ don’t have to accept one iota of this stuff.
It hurts my brain a bit to say what I’m about to say (those of a sensitive disposition, put your hands over your ears now), but the ‘you’ that would be doing said accepting is made of the same thing it’s trying to accept doesn’t exist, and making a choice to accept that it’s not possible for it to make choices.
Oof, I feel a bit queasy now, and I’m sorry if I’ve ruined your day.
🫠
Look, all we’re doing here is seeing that ALL of that commentary and figuring out malarkey is going on **in the mind**… and will continue to do so, until you draw your last breath.
I’m really not asking you to accept anything, so please stop trying.
No, we’re just having a deeper conversation about the TRUE nature of experience.
The witnessing of experience.
Feeling our way back into what we already know on some level.
The way things are, always have been and always will be.
---
I’ll finish with one of my favourite quotes, from Jack Pransky:
> *“All we are is peace, love and wisdom, and the power to create the illusion that we’re not.”*
💖
Giles
### Related
[Already acceptedLet’s chuck all previous notions of what ‘acceptance’ is in the bin. It’s all a \*lot\* easier than you think. 😙The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/already-accepted/)
What if experience has **already* been accepted… just by dint of it being experienced? 🤔
### Choosing what to worry about
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/choosing-what-to-worry-about/
Last updated: 2026-07-28T10:51:39.000Z
It’s funny the things our minds worry about.
They’re all out of proportion, aren’t they?
For instance, our home is built on a slope and we have some steep metal steps outside the back door.
Every single time I clip-clop down them gingerly in my cycling shoes, my mind conjures images of me tumbling down them head first… breaking my neck… life in a wheelchair… or worse.
Thanks mind!
🙄
I suppose the mind's prime directive is to keep the organism alive, but jeez, it’s a bit bloody twitchy, isn’t it?
I always say it’s got two jobs:
1. **Predicting future situations** (really badly)
2. **Predicting how we’ll feel** in those situations (even more badly)
Neither are remotely ‘true’ - it’s just our conditioning, being made visible.
A mind, doing what minds do.
We don’t get to choose what it says, and between you and me, I’m not sure we [get to choose](https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-5/) how we respond to what it says either (otherwise—don't know about you—but I'd choose not to be bothered by *anything* it said, ever)!
In her brilliant book [*Just a Thought*](https://amzn.to/4uwokfe?ref=gilespcroft.com), Amy Johnson points out that in the early days, when there were a bazillion ways of the organism dying, early-brain false positives (e.g. thinking the neighbouring tribe *are* coming to slaughter you, when in fact they’re not) were naturally selected over false negatives (i.e. *not* thinking they’re coming to slaughter you… when they are)!
😬☠️⚰️
Explains a lot.
It’s a far cry from me mincing around in lycra, mind.
But I guess we’re lumbered with 40,000+ year old software, long overdue an update.
Anyway, every time I’m very carefully making my way down those steps in my cycling shoes—Thanks mind! 🏆🧠🙌🏻—I’m endlessly amused and bemused by the fact it’s slavishly devoted to this particular concern, but can’t ever really be arsed worrying about:
- riding in super-busy traffic, or
- careening downhill at 80kph on a few millimetres of rubber.
Minds. How bonkers can they get?
Let me count the ways…
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The ‘insert topic here’ thoughtMinds are creatures of habit, so we \*all\* get ‘bad’ thoughts that tend to reoccur. You’re not alone 💞The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-insert-topic-here-thought/)
You know, it's perfectly ok to think **any* thought. You do **know* this, don't you?
### Labels are for jars 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/labels-are-for-jars/
Last updated: 2026-07-22T18:42:58.000Z
**The origins, usefulness and perils of mental health diagnoses.*
***Premium Written & Audio Content**
🔖
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### Inner vs. outer feelings
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/inner-vs-outer-feelings/
Last updated: 2026-04-03T14:06:17.000Z
For something like 12 years, every October I spoke at a national medical conference, about career change.
The delivering of the talk itself I used to love, but I was always *really* nervous about having chats with people afterwards, when they came at me with their specific career-change questions.
I just didn’t feel qualified to offer solutions, and any time I spent contemplating the post-talk milling around period, was deeply unpleasant. It was the only thing that might have stopped me saying Yes to participating in these conferences.
😮
**What do you make of that?! I was more nervous about having a conversation with* ***one** *person, than about standing up on stage in front of* ***100 people** *!!!*
**Minds are bonkers, they really are* 🙄
Anyway, I’ll never forget, one year, after a particularly effective keynote, I had a huge crowd standing around afterwards, all wanting my advice.
I’d over-run (as usual!) and been kicked out of the seminar room, so it wasn’t like an orderly queue, where I had one conversation at a time. It was just this massive free-for-all, with everyone asking their question and everyone else listening in on the pearls of wisdom this inspiring speaker was about to deliver.
## Put on the spot
And then, in front of all these people, I got asked The Most Difficult Career Change Question Of All™
> ***“But what about financial security?”***
Oh shit.
This was the biggie that I’d been fearing, all along.
The threat of this question looming was an insecurity of mine that towered above all else.
It was the question I thought I just didn’t have an answer for; the question that used to keep me up at night, because if anyone found out that I didn’t *have* a good response to it (because I didn’t)… well then, I’d be seen as a charlatan and all the inspiring words I’d said up on stage would be utterly worthless.
I would never be invited back again, and that would be that.
My speaking career would be over.
*(For real. Minds truly are BONKERS* 🤨*)*
And then, something amazing happened. There, in the moment, put on the spot without any preparation, not knowing *where* it came from, I heard myself delivering the only answer to that question of any substance; something I’d never even seen for *myself* as being true, until I spoke the words:
> ***“Security doesn’t come from money. It’s a feeling that comes from inside of you. I suggest you work on your inner security instead.”***
😳
👊🏻🎤💥
Everyone kind of went quiet after that, and I could feel a sort of electricity in the huddle of people, out there on that balcony.
## Realising principles in action
Because unbeknownst to me (this happened *before* I came across the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com)/Innate Health understanding that helped me put a name to it) I had just pointed to a fundamental, inarguable truth about how life works, and it connected all of us, in that moment.
💡
****Feelings don’t come from situations or things, or money.**
That’s simply not possible. They come from within, and it’s only ever that trickster-magician we call Thought, that makes out it could be any other way.
It was quite a big moment for me on my own journey, because the fact things turned out like that—that I'd delivered a truly grounded answer—after my incessant worrying about the question, just went to prove the point.
All the insecurity I’d been feeling in the run-up to the conference wasn’t coming from the conference, or the question – it just doesn’t work like that! It was coming from me 😮
And the answer that my intellect could *never* come up with—causing me great stress as it tried!—had been there all along.
It came out when it needed to.
## It’s the same for you.
The answers you don’t know—that you feel like you’ll *never* know—will be there when you really need them. You don’t have to ‘think them up’, because **they don’t come from your intellect.**
So look, let’s not mess around here.
Just take a moment, slow down and genuinely consider this coachy-type question:
🤔
****What would change for you, if you really knew—beyond a shadow of doubt—that 100% of your felt experience comes from within and 0% of it comes from your circumstances?**
What next steps do you think you would take in your life, operating from a place where you’re safe in that knowledge?
Give yourself some space to ponder this question - it’s a worthy use of your time!
And as always, if you’d like help with it, that’s what I do.
💟
Giles
GET YOUR OWN CHANGES
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?
I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### “This hasn't worked”
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-hasnt-worked/
Last updated: 2026-06-11T11:28:47.000Z
> *“Well, this hasn’t worked!”*
Oh no!
A dissatisfied-sounding customer at the very start of their final session with me.
What to do?
An earlier version of Giles might have got quite up in his head about that one. Taken it personally. Messed up the rest of the session, trying to persuade or cajole or reason.
These days, I’m just curious.
> *“Fascinating! What is it that looks like it hasn’t worked? What was supposed to happen?”*
---
The beginnings and the ends of coaching sessions with me are usually very different affairs.
Because we’re human. We get shook up. We take our thinking very seriously. We don’t notice it’s running the show again.
It’s so innocent.
And so the beginnings of sessions with clients are sometimes (ok, quite often) a bit… shook up. A bit thinky. All the mind’s problems come spilling out, and it’s my job to listen.
And doing so with my client, as they answered my dumb questions, it became apparent that their opening statement was missing a bit. It should have been:
🙉
**“This hasn’t worked…* ***for the mind** *.”*
You see, *it* had a bunch of expectations about what should (🚩) have happened.
Over the weeks of working together, it had gathered that *it* was the problem and it wanted to get involved and stop itself from thinking. (LOL)
Because that’s enlightenment, yes? It needed to make this work, and Giles—that tricky bastard!—wasn’t telling it ***how*** to do that!!
😡
At which point I’m reminded of the quote from Dr Chris Niebauer's glorious book, [No Self, No Problem](https://amzn.to/4qn7vjR?ref=gilespcroft.com):
> *“Even if the left brain wants to go beyond itself, it can only go deeper into itself.”*
So, when looked at from the vantage point of the mind, No! It *absolutely* ‘hadn’t worked’!!
And it never will.
It’s quite simply a game you cannot win.
---
Later on, towards the end of the session, thinking had settled.
Together, we’d relaxed back into life, into presence, and something approaching a state of *being* (rather than a state of doing, thinking, analysing, judging, calculating, remembering, applying, trying and any other verb you can think of that’s not ‘being’).
When looked at from *this* vantage point—not identified with, or being at the whims of the mind—it becomes apparent that there’s not even really anything to ‘work’.
🤷🏻♂️
The whole idea of something ‘working’ is just a creation of the mind. That mechanical, sleeves-rolled-up left brain of ours, wanting to stick its oar in and ‘make things better’ (for itself).
Honestly, the mind is like the Ben & Jerry’s of suffering: there will *always* be another flavour of ‘[I’ll be happy when](https://www.gilespcroft.com/ill-be-happy-when/)…’ 🙄😂
The key isn’t to take the mind's demands on at face value.
The key is to spot what it’s up to.
Again and again and again and again and again and (yawns) again.
🥱
And in every moment that you do… you don’t *win* the game.
You *quit* the game.
Freedom!!
💖
Giles
### Book recommendation
[No Self, No ProblemCheck out this great listen on Audible.com. Has science confirmed what the Buddha already knew? In this groundbreaking audiobook, neuropsychology professor Chris Niebauer explains how after decades of research on the brain, Western science may have inadvertently confirmed a fundamental tenet of Bu…Audible.co.ukChris Niebauer PhD](https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/No-Self-No-Problem-Audiobook/B07X27G3KK?source%5Fcode=ASSGB149080119000H&share%5Flocation=pdp&ref=gilespcroft.com)
I've got the paperback **and* the audiobook – very accessible and enlightening.
### This could be the last time you…
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-could-be-the-last-time-you/
Last updated: 2026-01-24T21:04:31.000Z
My daughter’s of an age (10) where, whenever her hand absentmindedly slips into mine, my heart skips a beat.
Because I know that there will be a last time when that happens.
So I cherish every one.
It’s easy to see in obvious situations like this, but this ‘last time’ malarkey is happening all the time… while we’re busy planning tomorrow, making out like the life we’re experiencing now, is just an obstacle to overcome.
Like riding huge days in the mountains, quite possibly my all time favourite pastime. I definitely took that one for granted… my mind always half on planning the *next* exploit, barely before the current one was done.
But we have no idea what we will or won’t get to do.
In that case I got injured, and for 15 years, what with one thing or another, it really looked like I’d *never* go back; that I’d missed the full appreciation of my ‘last time’ of doing that (an event that completely passed me by at the time, as I rode along, planning the next day’s ride).
🤦🏻♂️
Now, I’m extremely grateful that [I *did* make my way back to the mountains](https://x.com/gpcroft/status/1657745156538265601?ref=gilespcroft.com), but I definitely don’t take that stuff for granted any more. (I’m 51, I get injuries all the time!)
It’s narrowed my focus to what’s happening now. By and large I’ve stopped putting my actions into a bigger story, for instance:
> *“I’m working towards this event and this ride is not the event, it’s ‘just training’, so no big deal.”*
It means I’m much more grateful for every moment on two wheels that comes my way. Each ride is a gift to be cherished.
And it’s not just hand-holding and bike-riding, either.
Richards Carlson used to say *“Life is not a rehearsal”* and I’ve noticed these days I’m more likely to appreciate a lot more of what’s happening now: every walk, every hug, every smile, every friend, every gesture.
My life feels more full, as a result.
So this is just a loving, gentle reminder not to take *anything* for granted.
Don’t fall in to the trap of being so focused on ‘tomorrow being better’ that you forget to enjoy the only thing you ever get to actually experience: Now.
[*This is it*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-it/)*!*
💟
Giles
### Related
[Not living life, nowIf we spend all our time with our attention on that fabled ‘better tomorrow’, you know what we miss out on? 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-living-life-now/)
### You can't not see an illusion
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/illusion/
Last updated: 2026-07-18T16:46:13.000Z
One of the biggest pitfalls I spend my time helping clients out of, is trying to bend the laws of physics.
They’re trying *really hard* to somehow deconstruct, or un-see the illusion of thought.
Their mind hears me say that the entirety of our experience is perception — that we’re all walking around in these little bubbles of thought that we call ‘reality’ but are, in actual fact, an illusion — and it goes:
> *“Ok, right, enough of this faffing around with my thoughts and feelings and things not being as they seem - JUST SHOW ME ACTUAL GODDAMN REALITY ALREADY, WILL YOU?!”*
Ha ha, minds! 🙄
It’s like we think we have to wake up *from* the dream, in order to enjoy the dream more.
Or we want to know what to *do* about it, in order to feel better:
> *“So, I have to tell myself it’s not real, yeah? Is *that* what you’re saying?”*
No.
Neither of these are true.
Firstly, our minds would explode if they ever saw actual reality. As Alan Watts once said,
> *“The ordinary everyday consciousness that we have, leaves out more than it takes in”*
… and for good reason!
(Cue Jack Nicholson screaming at you, *“YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!”* 😂)
Secondly, where’s the fun in being able to see through an illusion?
Wouldn’t that remove every shred of interest from it? It wouldn’t be an illusion then, would it?
🤔
No, we just marvel at it.
Have fun with it (did you know, the etymology of the word illusion is ‘to play’)?
When we know that our experience isn’t the truth, we know that it can’t harm us in the way that it looks like it can. We can play (like kids do).
---
Have a look at this picture. It’s one that I took on a visit to Swansea, for my mother-in-law’s birthday. Some work was being done on the sea-front promenade, and this little pit is half full of very concentrated salty water, which is doing wonders with the light.
Look at how comprehensive the illusion of distortion is:
I can tell you that three generations of the family stood there leaning on that railing, having an involved, fun discussion about that pool of water for about 15 minutes - it was brilliant! (Boy, do we know how to party?! 😆)
The discussion went something like this:
- Look how bent the ladder looks! Wow!!
- Look at how much smaller the little ‘t’ shapes on the edge of the ladder appear to be! Wow!!
- Look at the crazy hand-railing, are we *sure* it’s not bending?! Wow!!
- Look at the piece of wood, it’s so refracted it looks like it’s snapped! Wow!!
(At one point, the bafflement became so comprehensive, I offered to climb into the pit and walk down the ladder, but I was stopped, for obvious reasons 😂)
Now, apply that to the illusion of your experience:
- Look at how nervous the mind is making me! Wow!!
- Look at how overwhelmed this all makes me feel! Wow!!
- Look at how much it appears that thing or that person annoys me! Wow!!
- Look at how utterly, intractably terrible the mind is making this situation out to be! Wow!!
We can’t see through it. We can’t wake up *from* the dream.
But we can see it for what it is. We can wake up *to* the dream.
And marvel and have fun and play in this thing we call life, safe from psychological harm.
I love you!
😘
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Your reality is a perception of the mindA short video with three helpful metaphors for how we experience the world 🎬The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/your-reality-is-a-perception-of-the-mind/)
More helpful visual metaphors
### Book recommendation
[Awakening to the Dream: The Gift of Lucid LivingFor centuries, philosophers and theologians have ponder…GoodreadsLeo Hartong](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/871898.Awakening%5Fto%5Fthe%5FDream?ref=gilespcroft.com)
One of the more accessible books on non-duality that I have read. He's quite funny!
### The pedantry of the mind
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-pedantry-of-the-mind/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T21:12:30.000Z
What is the mind like?!
(No. 3,729 in an infinite series)
So we’re all in the car. Chatting away, catching up.
I’m talking about a friend of ours in conversation, referring to him in passing as ‘young Philippe’.
A little voice pipes up to interrupt me from the back seat:
> *“He’s not actually all that young though, is he Dad?”*
> *“Well, no, but, you know, turn of phrase and all that. You know exactly who I mean. Anyway…”*
I carry on with the story, but am interrupted again, almost immediately:
> *“And Dad, his name’s not actually ‘Philippe’ is it?”*
🤦🏻♂️😆
---
It reminded me of what *my* mind’s like.
All day long it’s scanning every nano-parcel of information it sees and making judgements: is this right, is it wrong, is it good, is it bad?
Because that’s just what minds do.
They’re little algorithmic computers, running the scripts of our conditioning. And there’s bugger all we can do about that.
Mine pipes up to interrupt everything I’m doing, all the time.
It’s very opinionated, it has its own set of rules (that apply to it, and it alone) and it thinks that it would help me, and the world in general, if everyone just GOT WITH THE DAMNED PROGRAMME AND AGREED WITH IT.
🤨
If I paid it much attention, I’m not sure I’d get much done.
In fact, it would probably ruin my day.
‘Cos I’d be too busy being distracted by the conversations it was having with itself about how *that’s* wrong, *they’re* wrong, and how is *everything* so **wrong** all of a sudden?!?!
…and I’d be missing out on life.
For what?
---
I’m reminded of a great question that Richard Carlson recommends we regularly ask of ourselves, in one of his books:
> *“Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?”*
I know which I choose.
How about you?
💟
Giles
### Related
[Do you want to be right?I’m going to give you a clear choice. You can only choose one. Which is it? ⚖️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-want-to-be-right/)
Let's explore that last quote in a bit more detail
### Bike luggage is a portal
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/bike-luggage-is-a-portal/
Last updated: 2025-12-11T16:08:07.000Z
The concept of ‘portals’ has come up in my life a couple of times recently, which means I’m seeing them everywhere.
(Not actual light-ringed circles, where you can tap yourself on the back from another dimension if you put your arm through it, don’t worry.)
The first time, was an [excellent podcast episode](https://overcast.fm/+BBGoFqsD-A?ref=gilespcroft.com) I was pointed to, hosted by the wonder-full duo of Amanda Jones & Alex Linares.
And then again, a few days later on LinkedIn, where someone posted this quote from Matt Haig’s ‘Comfort Book’:
> *“Portal. Each of us has the power to enter a new world. All we have to do is change our mind.”*
Which is excellent, in an abstractly philosophical, yeah [I-should-maybe-remember-that](https://www.gilespcroft.com/its-not-about-remembering/) kind of way, thinking we’ll find an opportunity to ‘try it out’, in order to feel different at some point.
But of course it doesn’t work like that.
As always, it’s the other way round, isn’t it?
🔄
We feel different and we **notice* the portal.
So we maybe hear it discussed on a podcast, or read a quote, and it sort of tickles our fancy and has us nodding our heads a bit and then days later … BAM! … the concept is made very real for us, in an everyday situation.
(And if you’re me, you write about it.)
My ‘everyday situation’ was toiling uphill on a luggage-laden bicycle. As you read this, I’m away for a few days on the bike. And a couple of weeks ago, having fitted a rack on my new bike I thought I’d do an equipment test, locally. You know, make sure nothing’s going to fall off, *before* I start my adventure.
(You see, I *do* plan! 😉)
---
So I’m riding very familiar roads, but much… more… slooowwllyy…
And you know what?
There’s a whole load of stuff I’m suddenly noticing, that I’ve literally never seen before. It’s crazy.
Stuff that’s always been there, and that I’ve cycled past dozens and dozens of times and not seen. All because I’m in a different mindset.
I’m at ‘touring’ pace (as opposed to ‘Strava-segment’ pace 😉) and it occurs to me that the whole of my experience is different—I’m literally in a different world!—just because of a ‘change of mind’.
Not one I chose. Just one that I observed.
And so I will forever see my bike luggage as a portal now.
But I’ll also remember that at any moment, in any situation, I can be prompted by my feeling state to check in with how fast my mind’s going … and know that this particular life situation can show up in an almost infinite variety of ways.
Because there are portals to different worlds… everywhere.
🪐
Giles
### Related
### Not trusting my thinking
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/not-trusting-my-thinking/
Last updated: 2026-07-24T22:03:12.000Z
You know, I’ve lost so much interest in my thinking these days.
Seeing it for what it is—just my conditioning playing out to the tune of [whatever mood I’m in](https://www.gilespcroft.com/elevator/), in that moment—means there’s very little merit in paying any attention to it at all. And I don’t tend to take *any* of it seriously.
(Except when it’s *really* important and I do, ok? And that’s *different*, d’you hear me?! Different, I tell you!! 😆)
It’s a source of endless amusement.
Like the other day, when I’m riding up the [Gospel Pass](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel%5FPass?ref=gilespcroft.com) (South Wales’ highest paved mountain pass) thinking that I’ve lost my mind.
Because I rode *down* this same road, just weeks previously, and it was in a *shocking* state. At least I *thought* it was. But I don’t really trust my thinking, these days. ’Cos it talks shite.
You see, on *that* day, I’d completely messed up my route, the weather was much worse than I’d expected, I hadn’t even planned to go over the top of the pass, I’d run out of food, was under-dressed, the light was fading and I had to do this madcap descent off the top of the mountain, with legs screaming and lungs burning, trying to outrun the weather and avoid getting a bollocking ’cos I said I’d be back waaaaay earlier than I was going to be.
(Shout out to long-suffering wife ❤️ 51 years old and I’m still making the same basic errors! 🤣)
And yet today, sun shining, pockets stuffed full of food, beautiful light playing through the trees, birds tweeting, legs feeling good… the experience could not be more different.
And the road! All those potholes and gravelly bits that I’d imagined, all the way down the descent, they’re actually few and far between. This surface actually isn’t bad at all!
*“Consciousness!!”* I’m marvelling to myself. *“The reality I experience in a low mood, vs. a high one. I must write about this! Look how frickin’ powerful it is! Makes a heaven out of hell and a hell out of heaven!”* … with a slight tinge of *“Strewth, how did I get it so *wrong*?!?!”*
---
A couple of hours later, I’m home and a good friend texts me, having seen the route I took for my ride, [on Strava](https://www.strava.com/activities/10748531086?ref=gilespcroft.com).
> *“I bet you’re really chuffed they resurfaced the Gospel Pass last week, aren’t you?!”*
😐
😮
🤦🏻♂️
I have no words.
😂
Giles
### Related
[Circumstances, moods, chickens and eggsWhich came first, the circumstance, or the mood? 🧐The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/circumstances-moods-chickens-and-eggs/)
How moods create our reality 🔄
### Putting problems on the ‘back burner’
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/putting-problems-on-the-back-burner/
Last updated: 2026-08-21T21:34:49.000Z
During a session I ran on the topic of **Intuition**, I was asked a question about whether I thought we could get ‘intuition on demand’ in order to solve our problems.
It instantly brought to mind one of my favourite little chapters from Richard Carlson's timeless classic, [*Don't Sweat the Small Stuff*](https://amzn.to/48tVxiy?ref=gilespcroft.com), all about using the back burner of the mind for such tasks.
[Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff ... and It’s All Small Stuf…Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff... and it’s all small stuff…GoodreadsRichard Carlson](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/170548.Don%5Ft%5FSweat%5Fthe%5FSmall%5FStuff%5Fand%5FIt%5Fs%5FAll%5FSmall%5FStuff?ref=gilespcroft.com)
This helpful little metaphor has had SUCH an impact on my life, over the years, that [in this little clip](https://youtu.be/7dgF3Lm8NFI?ref=gilespcroft.com) I share it with you… as well as some examples of when, and how I use it myself.
This is one to watch a couple of times, so it really sinks in.
Then get putting stuff on the back burner, and see what happens!
It makes total sense, if you consider it.
When you don’t know something, you don’t know it, and wracking your brains for a solution just isn’t going to help. (Seriously, examine your own experience - when has that *ever* helped, to come up with a fresh solution to a problem?!)
So your choices are stark:
1. Worry about it pointlessly (which is pointless)
2. Deny it even exists (which will make it worse in the long run)
3. Put it on the back burner and wait for life to deliver some fresh thinking!
It’s a bit of a ‘no-brainer’ isn’t it?
😉
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[How to solve any problemLet’s start by looking at what problems actually are 🤷🏻♂️The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/how-to-solve-any-problem/)
### Turning up the master volume
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/turning-up-the-master-volume/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T21:10:36.000Z
A client was telling me about a communication training they’d attended at work, all about increasing confidence to have more impact, when speaking in front of others.
You see, while it might not look like it, we *all* feel nervous from time to time. It’s a universal experience.
And public speaking’s a sure-fire way to get the old SEC (Speaker Ego Construct 📦) fired up and churning out all sorts of thoughts and feelings, usually along the lines of:
😱
OH-MY-GOD-I-THINK-I’M-GONNA-DIE!!
But weirdly, this seems to affect some people more than others, so that’s what the training was about: what to do about those feelings. How to be a more effective communicator.
And there were two main techniques my client was recommended.
## See it differently 👀
First up was **REFRAMING** (i.e. actively re-interpreting that anxious feeling as excitement), which I suppose is no bad thing… *if* what you’re about to do is vaguely exciting.
I clocked this one for myself years ago, when I used to get very nervous in advance of doing the thing that made me feel most alive: speaking at conferences.
Seeing that I was actually *excited* about the prospect of stepping out on stage and sharing my insights with an audience allowed me to let go of the anxious thinking.
And it’s pretty obvious when my [daughter is feeling anxious](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-are-anxious-feelings-telling-us/) in advance of doing the thing she loves most, each week: cycling practice. Just dropping in the idea that actually, it might be because she’s *excited* about what’s coming up… that helps to take the edge off it.
But it doesn’t make sense to the mind when you’ve got to present this quarter’s sales figures, or point out a flaw in your department’s process.
In that case, reframing is just going to create a lot *more* thinking!
---
## Pretend 🤦🏼♀️
Then they got to **AFFIRMATIONS**. Positive self-talk. Oh dear, somebody shoot me.
Here, we’re encouraged to somehow replace the ‘**negative**’ thoughts (e.g. *“I’m not good enough”, “This is going to be a total car crash”, “Can everyone else in the room also hear my heart beating really fast?!”*) with more ‘**positive**’ thoughts, e.g. *“I am a strong and confident presenter, with much to offer!”*
🤮
As my client pointed out, with a wry smile,
> *“There’s no way the positive thoughts are winning that battle!!”* 😂
---
## The problem with techniques 🔊
Most of the time, these techniques we’re encouraged to use actually have the *opposite* effect to the desired one, because they create *more* thinking, when, if we’re to be connected to our innate sense of confidence and connection, what we need is *less* thinking.
💡
It is the mind's chatter that obscures our true power: presence!
Picture it this way: if your Thought System 📦 is the home of *all* thinking—both positive *and* negative—and you’re trying to turn up the volume of the positive stuff (e.g. with reframing or affirmations), then you are just turning up the master volume on the whole system – you'll get more negative stuff too.
You can’t tune one out, selectively - **it’s all thinking!**
The answer isn’t to try and manipulate or change thought. (Please stop trying to do that, you’re going to break yourself. Besides, ‘[trying is lying](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/)’, remember? 😉)
No, the answer is to deepen your understanding of the nature of thought, which is what we do here at the Daily Reminders, and how I help all my clients.
---
Here’s what happens (in the words of one of them):
> *“I delivered a presentation to over 40 people and did this easily and confidently whereas before I would have been anxious/nervous/worried about it for days before. I came away from that meeting thinking, geez it doesn't get much bigger, the chief executive, the director of children's services, and I'm there for 15 minutes talking to them about what I can do to help! I'm completely calm, not shook up by anything.”*
There’s absolutely no reason whatsoever why you shouldn’t experience that change too, because it’s got nothing to do with *you*, and everything to do with how we *all* work in the same way.
Getting a real feel for the principles behind how we experience life, and who we really are is what makes all the difference, and helps you to uncover your *natural* confidence, that lies within.
When you know you're ready for that change, just [get in touch](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals).
💟
Giles
### Related
[What are anxious feelings telling us?What if it’s not about \*what\* we’re thinking, but \*how\* we relate to thought? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-are-anxious-feelings-telling-us/)
### Inside Out (the first one)
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out-the-first-one/
Last updated: 2026-01-24T08:02:04.000Z
I’m typing this in haste, because in 90 minutes I’ll be sat watching Inside Out 2 at the flicks with my family, and I won’t be able to remember what I thought of the first one!
We watched Inside Out (the first one) again the other night, as a bit of a refresher… interestingly this is now the *third* time I’ve watched it since it was released, 9 years ago, and each time I’ve had a completely different opinion of it.
I’m sure they haven’t edited the movie in that time, so… what does that say about how we experience the world?
🤔
Anyway, my brief observations from Inside Out (the first one) are thus:
1. It’s really good!
2. Look what happens when we focus solely on one emotion. You can’t win, because nothing exists in isolation. Look at the arguments all the other emotions had with Joy, when she became so determined for Riley to experience *just* Joy all of the time. Which leads to…
3. **All feelings are welcome!** Resistance is futile. And counterproductive.
4. Who are ‘you’ in all this? The fact that Riley was *aware* of all the blithering idiots in her head, strongly suggests that she is the observer. But to be an observer means the necessary creation of another character *inside* the control room of thought: the observer.
Doesn't it?
🤔
For me, this points to one of the easiest pitfalls we can encounter as humans: believing there’s a character that’s actually observing, directing and potentially even *controlling* all this stuff that’s going on.
And I don’t think there is.
It’s just another (very convincing) trick of the mind. If you go looking for that character within your own experience, systematically, you won’t find it.
Maybe what we are is less noun, and more verb:
💡
We are the observ**ing* of all that's happening (i.e. consciousness itself)
Anyway, at the end of the movie, I had that famous [Sydney Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com) quote ringing in my ears, which sums it up beautifully:
[](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com)
> *“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”*
Enjoy the show!
💟
Giles
### Related
[Inside Out 2The staggering amount of Innate Health-related things this film gets right 👏🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out-2/)
Jump in the time machine and go read what I thought of **Inside Out 2!*
### Looking in the wrong place
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-in-the-wrong-place/
Last updated: 2026-02-27T20:01:56.000Z
When it comes to peace of mind/happiness/wellbeing/contentment, us humans seem to be wired to look in the wrong place.
We look for all of these things *outside* of us, when they’re actually already *within* us.
Indeed you could go as far as saying they *are* us (or we are them).
It’s like the old Sufi joke, where the drunk is crawling around under a streetlamp. When a stranger asks him if he needs help, he replies,
> *“I lost my keys! I can’t find them!”*
> *“Where did you last see them?”* asks the stranger.
> *“Oh, I dropped them in that field over there,”* he says, pointing off into the darkness.
> *“Then why are you looking for them under this streetlamp?”* asks the stranger, baffled.
> *“The light’s better here!”* comes the reply.
Classic.
---
This hit home for me the other day, when my daughter calls me over towards the end of her cycling practice.
> *“Dad, the gears aren’t working. I think they’re broken.”*
I instantly know what the problem is, because I'm the cause. I’d been doing a bit of maintenance the previous day and had changed the front gears from the smallest chainring, up to the middle one. Then forgot to change them back.
All session, she’d been pedalling around in much harder gears than she was used to.
But—crucially—she only knows how to change the gears on the *rear* cassette. (She’s never really got her head round the front chainrings, so they’re largely invisible to her.)
And changing the gears at the back wasn’t giving her the results she wanted.
> *“I’ve tried everything. They just won’t go low enough. I even tried changing while pedalling backwards, but that just made a horrid noise.”*
😬😱
As I reach to change the front gears back for her, I'm chastised.
> *“Dad, no. It’s the back gears. I told you.”*
I continue. Wishing to just sort it out quickly so we can both move on with our lives.
She gets cross with me.
> *“Dad, stop it! The back gears aren’t working. I’ve told you. They need fixing! Don’t mess with the others – stop it!”*
CLICK!
⚙️ ⤵️
Order, and super-low gearing, are immediately restored.
She doesn't really understand what's just happened, she just knows everything's much better now and her bike works again.
---
That whole session… all her attention was zoomed in on the rear gears (that were working just fine), thinking there was something wrong with them.
Trying to fix something that wasn’t broken.
When the solution was hidden in plain sight, all along… just [outside of what her mind knew](https://www.gilespcroft.com/working-on-limited-data/).
Ring any bells?
💟
Giles
Need your “gears adjusting”?
[](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
By its very nature, stuff that’s ‘outside of what your mind knows’ is invisible to you. Which is human and normal and fine. And it’s why it’s so powerful to ****explore your problems with a professional** who’s used to pointing people in the right direction, so that those problems get resolved. (That’s me, BTW, hi 👋🏻)
So if you’ve tried everything and life’s still not working how you want it to, then consider getting in touch so we can tackle it together: CLICK! ⚙️
(Getting cross with me is optional 😉)
[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)
### Variability is the key
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/variability-is-the-key/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T21:08:35.000Z
Have a look at these popular memes. What do you see?
In both, the same statement is seen in two very different ways:
- One tight, constricted, limited, alone
- The other open, light, free, connected
I’m going to go out on a limb here and hazard a guess that your thought system 📦 is saying something like,
> *‘Some people are like this, and other people are like that.’*
It may have even have gone as far as placing these labels onto someone you know.
Or even your self.
Classic mind activity! 📦
It’s all **black and white**, to the mind, isn’t it?
- One way or the other.
- My way or the highway.
- Fixed.
- How it is.
But what if that’s not what this meme is about?
🤔
What if it’s pointing to the fact that ****we are all** ***both** **these people**, at one time or another?
What if these memes are in fact the exact same picture as my little stick man, with ‘Thought Realisation’ written across the head (📦) and ‘Innate Health’ at the heart of our being (❤️)?
Sorry not sorry that it's almost the same size here, as it is in real life.
In one state of mind/mood/level of consciousness we are identifying with thought (📦), everything looks like it’s about us, and we’re feeling tight, constricted, limited and alone.
And in another state of mind/mood/level of consciousness we are in life (❤️), not paying attention to the mind’s jibber-jabber and feeling open, light, free and connected.
Once you see it, you see it everywhere.
Because it’s how life works.
Just saying’
😘
Giles
### Related
[Work with the mind, not against itThe only toolkit you’ll ever need 🧰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)
This is kinda ***it.**
### Looking upstream 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/looking-upstream/
Last updated: 2026-08-27T09:53:30.000Z
Premium Written & Audio content
[](#/portal/account/plans)
This is a ****Premium 🔖 Subscription** piece – the kind of polished article with audio narration (down at the bottom), that normally lives behind the paid membership. I'm sharing it with you today, because it felt like the perfect companion to a few of my recent, mental health-focused Daily Reminders.
If you find yourself wanting more along these lines:
- Magazine quality ****written & audio** content
- An invitation to a monthly ****group call** with me (with a [growing library](https://www.gilespcroft.com/premium-group-calls/) of ****recordings**, hosted privately)
- Access to mini self-study ****Course pages** on the site
- ****Support from me**, via comments, questions and answers to all the posts on the website
…then the ****Premium 🔖 Subscription** is for you.
Plus you get to feel great about supporting your favourite online publication! 🥳
[JOIN PREMIUM TODAY ](#/portal/account/plans)
> ***“Mental health lies within the consciousness of all human beings, but it is shrouded and held prisoner by our own erroneous thoughts.”***
> \~ Sydney Banks
In my years of medical training and latterly as an innate health coach, I’ve come across several ways of helping people with mental health conditions, each of which works on troublesome thoughts & feelings in a different way.
In describing them to you, it can help to imagine these targeting the various parts of a river, where anything done *upstream*, washes away the need for interventions performed further *downstream*.
Each of these has the exact same end goal: peace of mind. None is right or wrong, they’re not necessarily exclusive, and each has its own appeal.
## **1\. Symptom relief**
Our first port of call, furthest downstream, is symptom relief. This might include avoiding triggers, which makes a lot of sense, until we notice our lives getting smaller as we dodge more and more scary-looking situations.
Medication and drugs fall into this category too, be that prescribed or recreational. By altering our biochemistry, they make us temporarily feel different, which is an attractive proposition. But they have side effects, can become addictive and do nothing to address the root cause of our malady.
Some habits, like gambling, shopping, disordered eating & self-harming can also relieve symptoms of mental stress, by taking our mind off our selves and making us more present, albeit briefly.
## **2\. Content of thought**
If we’ve identified that the pain we feel is as a result of hurtful, repetitive thinking, then we might move further upstream and address those thoughts, head on. We’ve all made the difficult transition from infancy to adulthood, and the traumas we experienced (of varying magnitudes) and the ways we learned to cope when young, form the basis of our conditioned thinking and behaviour, now.
Talking therapies can help by exploring the past, making these connections more visible, and allowing us to leave behind redundant patterns, in turn reducing, or eliminating the need for symptom relief.
But it *can* be a painful process, and one that inadvertently makes matters worse, by repeatedly focusing on topics that keep harmful memories alive.
## **3\. Structure of thought**
What if we could deal with troublesome thoughts and feelings by just zapping them, or changing them when they happen, somehow? Enter cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and positive psychology, which, being still further upstream, potentially bypass the need for therapy, and symptom relief.
The general approach here, is to nullify, reframe or replace hurtful beliefs with more realistic, or in some cases, positive ones. This can be incredibly effective for phobias and repetitive patterns of thinking. But these tools are dependent on keeping up with practices, they’re usually directed toward one specific problem, and they can be overwhelmed by, or resistant to very strong emotions.
## **4\. Nature of thought**
All of the above have one thing in common: they see thoughts and feelings as troublesome; problems to be dealt with. There’s an underlying assumption that some aspect of us is malfunctioning, requiring fixing. But what if that just isn’t true?
When we start to explore the *nature* of thought, we discover it to be neither positive nor negative; it’s just a picture of the world being painted by the mind, moment to moment, and it changes all the time. As author Richard Carlson put it,
> ***“Thought, in and of itself, is harmless”***
…and it’s only when we ascribe to it a power it simply doesn’t have that it looks like we *need* tools, techniques, therapy, avoidance or medication in order to ‘handle’ our experience.
When we stop our incessant tinkering, the mind is a self-correcting system and shrouded beneath our “erroneous thoughts” we find that who we really are is whole, unbroken. It is here, at the very wellspring of our experience, that we find our ever-present innate mental health, washing away our troubles.
Maybe this is what it means to ‘go with the flow’.
💟
Giles
## Listen 🎧
Looking upstream - Narrated by Giles P Croft
0:00
/417.39449
1×
Take it further, with me
[](#/portal/account/plans)
There is much more…
- Magazine quality ****written & audio** content
- An invitation to a monthly ****group call** with me (with a [growing library](https://gilespcroft.com/premium-group-calls/?ref=gilespcroft.com) of ****recordings**, hosted privately)
- Access to mini self-study ****Course pages** on the site
- ****Support from me**, via comments, questions and answers to all the posts on the website
…in the ****Premium 🔖 Subscription**.
[JOIN PREMIUM TODAY ](#/portal/account/plans)
### My job vs. Your job
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-job-vs-your-job/
Last updated: 2026-01-03T10:55:44.000Z
There's a bit in Richard Carlson's stupendously good book, [You Can Be Happy No Matter What](https://amzn.to/48LWjb0?ref=gilespcroft.com), where he talks about traumatic events, and really nails it.
The first thing he makes clear is that, in the very, *very* simplest of terms:
🫥
****Healing = Forgetting**
Because if we imagine a life where that past event no longer has any hold over us, and we’re living a happy, peaceful life, then, while we may be able to *recall* the event, we’ve forgotten the ‘hurt’.
Richard says,
> *“If we can learn to stop frightening ourselves with our own thoughts, we are on our way to a happier life, irrespective of what we had to go through.”*
When we remind ourselves that 100% of our actual *experience* of life is brought to us via the [Principle of Thought](https://www.gilespcroft.com/inside-out/), it makes total sense that to heal, is to forget, because ultimately, if it's not *there*, there's no pain.
🤷♀️
## But how can it be ‘not there’?
This is how an innate health practitioner (like me, Hi 👋🏻) will help you through past traumatic experiences.
In a [different book](https://amzn.to/4p771xF?ref=gilespcroft.com), there’s a beautiful little description of a session, where the client, having been pointed in this direction—towards forgetting a deeply traumatic event—gets quite upset and protests,
> *“But I don’t know if I can!”* 😫
The reply that comes is simply for the ages:
> *“That's my job. I'm going to help you learn how to forget. Your job is to want to forget.”*
😙👌🏻
---
We’ve been so comprehensively indoctrinated into a model that says to ‘overcome’ trauma, we have to re-live it… when in reality that just keeps it alive.
This mass-hypnosis around trauma makes it look like ‘forgetting’ is either impossible, or just plain denial.
To be clear: in an Innate Health healing session, it’s not that past experiences don’t come up, or are deliberately avoided. It’s just that when we have a solid grounding in what thought is/how it works, these previously painful memories take on a completely different characteristic, and they get resolved, naturally.
They lose their power.
The forgetting begins.
And the phrase ‘post-traumatic growth’ starts to make more sense.
💟
Giles
### Procrastination is a solution, not a problem
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/procrastination-is-a-solution-not-a-problem/
Last updated: 2026-02-26T11:18:04.000Z
It’s the start of the week, your To Do list is looming and the risk of procrastination is high.
So let’s have a look at what’s going on, shall we?
## Behind the scenes
Imagine you had a report to write. With a deadline. And you don’t want to.
And find yourself avoiding it in whatever way you’ve learned (I play a little game on my phone called *Plasma Sky*, what do you do?)
Here’s a behind-the-scenes for you:
1. The **mind is aware** of the report and the deadline (the situation)
2. The mind thinks that ***it* has to write the report** (even though it only ever has access to old, stale data on its hard drive, which *isn’t* the source of creativity)
3. The mind, **understandably, panics**. All of a sudden, the report is a ‘problem’
4. The mind defines this ‘problem’ as real, because it’s completely—innocently—**unaware of *anything* outside of itself** (i.e. life energy/wisdom/creativity/innate health/true nature/who-we-really-are) and it *genuinely* believes it’s in charge of *everything*… when really it’s just a tool, given menial tasks to do like remember old stuff and move our hands
5. The mind **goes into a spin**, now burdened not only with a) the ‘problem’ of the report, but also b) the ‘problem’ of all the other stuff it’s just created around not being able to *deal* with the initial problem, all of which it also thinks *it* has to solve
(There's 5c to 5z here too, but you get the picture. Suffice to say, it’s easy for this stuff to spiral 😵💫)
6. **Wisdom kicks in** to offer a genuine solution to all of this ‘problem’ creation. It pulls the plug
7. (This is critical) The quality of this solution depends wholly on our level of understanding of 1 – 6, above, ***in that moment***. (It fluctuates all the time, see?):
➤ At the **highest levels** of awareness, we see there *is* no problem and we’re not even talking about procrastination. We're present to the report and getting on with it
➤ Arbitrarily, let’s say a **mid-level consciousness**/mood solution is taking a couple of minutes off and playing a video game, before getting back to it
➤ And let’s say a seriously **low level consciousness**/mood solution is going downstairs and immediately consuming an entire bottle of wine, then going on a bender for three days
8. It’s all **innocent** and it’s all a **solution to points 2 & 4** (which themselves are just a misunderstanding)
9. Any time you beat your ‘self’ up about procrastinating, it’s just the mind **adding yet another ‘problem’** to the already long-enough list of problems it’s created for us today, thanks!
10. **Relax**. Re-read this list. Just write the goddamn report already, will you?!
I love you *and* your problem-creating mind
😘
Giles
### Related
[In praise of boredomCan we re-train the mind with awareness alone? 📵The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-praise-of-boredom/)
### Fast actions, urgent feeling
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/fast-actions-urgent-feeling/
Last updated: 2025-12-07T16:00:02.000Z
Ah, Saturday morning chaos.
My wife’s down the shop from early and I’ve got to be out the house and get the child to cycling practice—without forgetting anything—by 10am.
And for some reason we always seem to let various chores slide towards the end of the week, so there’s a *pile* of stuff to do… in very little time.
Honestly? It’s easy to get stressed, especially if my 10yo flatmate is in the sort of mood seemingly designed to throw spanners in the works.
So anyway, I’m moving between the rooms of the house, the various parts of the kitchen, the garage and the van, up and down the stairs inside and the steps outside, quickly and purposefully - essential if we’re to arrive at our destination in the next village, in the allotted time.
**But then I notice the feeling of urgency.**
Ah, now that’s different.
That’s actually *disconnected* from the moving-quickly-and-purposefully, and from the cycling practice deadline, and from the piles of housework because that feeling is made of thought.
🔑
****Key Message**: We live in the feeling of a thought-created perceptual reality
The idea that my situation is the cause of the urgent feeling is a trick of the mind.
100% of urgent feeling comes from urgent thought - in this case a nigh-on invisible story about the consequences of being late; how I’ll feel, and how my daughter will feel, if I forget something; how the rest of the day’s going to go; the potential conflict that could ensue from suggesting someone might like to get in their cycling gear and eat some breakfast before they go and do exercise, that sort of thing, you know…
So whatever the thought/feeling construct is (I don’t spend *any* time analysing what the thought might be) when I notice the urgency, I let it go.
It just doesn’t make any sense to layer that feeling of urgency on top of my quick, purposeful movements. That would be crackers.
And you know what?
Doing that one, simple thing, means I realise the following benefits (for starters):
1. I’m much more focused on the task at hand
2. I’m less likely to forget something, and
3. I’m less likely to be snippy or sarky about things like missed breakfasts and completely random questions I couldn’t *possibly* have the answers to.
Plus, I don’t feel stressed!
What’s not to like?
💟
Giles
### Daydreaming vs. worrying
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/daydreaming-vs-worrying/
Last updated: 2026-02-17T12:51:07.000Z
The other day, in the context of a bike ride I went on, I alluded to [different modes of thinking](https://www.gilespcroft.com/modes-of-thinking/) and, in an attempt to keep things simple, I ended up settling for two broad types:
1. Active/Analytical thinking
2. Passive/Perceptual thinking
I then briefly mentioned **daydreaming and worrying**, so let’s have a look at those, shall we?
I see both of these as variants on 1: ‘Active/analytical’ thinking and here’s how it plays out, for me at least:
### Daydreaming
I’ll be out walking or cycling (both of which get done mostly on autopilot), and essentially I’m letting my mind future-project. It’s creating a story, with Giles as the central character, and while it lasts, it’s fun.
It can even be a coping mechanism of sorts, if it’s a particularly gruelling feat I’m attempting and I’m struggling physically - a case of ‘taking my mind off it’, if you will.
Daydreaming has quite a nice feel to it.
Then, maybe because I’m outdoors, doing things out in nature, surrounded by real, actual life and not stuck in left-brain-human-world, I really notice when my mood suddenly drops. It doesn’t take long at all to become aware of this.
It’s like, *“Ooh, I was feeling good and now I’m feeling bad.”*
### Worrying
And that’s my signal that I’ve flipped over from daydreaming, into worry. Giles is still the central character, and it’s still all just a story that the mind is creating, but now it’s creating problems, too. Problems it can’t fix. Because they’re made up. By it.
🤦🏻♂️
Nice and simple.
What’s important is the feeling. Noticing the difference.
**Daydreaming feels pleasant** (e.g. I'm imagining cycle touring in heavily wooded, mountainous foreign climes, where I don’t speak the lingo… and yes I appreciate this would count as ‘worry’ for some of you - but hey, we all live in [separate realities](https://www.gilespcroft.com/8-billion-separate-realities/)!)
**Worrying doesn’t feel pleasant** (e.g. I'm imagining falling off my bike out in the wilds, or remembering previous over-use injuries from such exploits, or the mind's telling me I don't have the money or time to go and do something like that in the first place).
### Stopping
Now, the key with worry isn’t to try and out-daydream it, reason with it, re-frame it or rationalise it.
That way madness lies.
*(See that thought-fire over there?* 🔥 *Here, go pour this thought-accelerant fuel on it and see what happens.* ⛽️💥🔥🔥🔥)
No, the key with worry is to *spot the feeling* and remember ***it’s just a story!***
It’s been dreamed up! By the mind!
Just by being *aware* of what’s going on, you can let the story go and relax back into passive/perceptual thinking (which is the Now).
That’s why feelings are so important.
They’re our guide.
If you want an easier life, listen to them!
💟
Giles
### Related
[The many outfits of egoThe mind doesn’t like presence. It will do anything to catch your attention. 🧥The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-many-outfits-of-ego/)
Contains the line: **“Disquiet is, by definition, ego.”*
### Modes of thinking
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/modes-of-thinking/
Last updated: 2026-02-17T12:56:49.000Z
I went out for a really hilly bike ride on roads I’d never tried before. It was quite spectacular and I discovered a secret little wild camping spot that I shall be taking the family back to this summer.
I love cycling for all the reasons you can google for yourself and what’s more I get to observe my thinking while I’m at it. (Hiking’s the same.) Something about the mind-body unit being mostly on autopilot during these activities, seems to free up capacity.
**I noticed two different modes of thinking.**
The first I’ll call ‘active’ or ‘analytical’ thinking. This was all intellectual: the mind having a chat with itself, judging what was happening, and dragging my feelings with it, wherever it went. It fell into two camps:
🗣 **Positive/self-congratulatory** (things going the way ego wants), e.g. what a good route I chose; isn’t the weather great; I’m glad I’ve got my gilet with me; good grief this scenery is *phenomenal!*
🗣 **Negative/self-critical** (things *not* going the way ego wants), e.g. oh no, not *another* f\*\*\*ing hill, this was a bad choice; it’s not quite as warm as I’d hoped; now what’s that annoying sound from the bike?
Back and forth, back and forth, arguing with itself, mostly (e.g. “*Blimey it’s chilly up here… ah, but remember, you were going to put on a thin vest as a base layer but instead you chose a merino t-shirt, it could be so much worse…”)*
It’s enough to drive a man insane!!! 🤪
(Incidentally, another two flavours of this kind of thinking are [daydreaming & worrying](https://www.gilespcroft.com/daydreaming-vs-worrying/), but that’s another story for another time.)
---
But then…
There was presence. The witnessing. Not just of what was happening, but of EVERYTHING. Let’s call this ‘passive’ or ‘perceptual’ thinking, with its main characteristic being the *lack* of mental activity & analysis.
At one point, I was cycling up a ludicrously steep hill in a beautiful woodland that took me right back to the Belgian Ardennes. Initially there was the usual background noise of positive & negative active thinking, and then, something in the alchemy of the moment made it all fall away.
✨
The hairs stood up on the back of my neck, a silence descended (in my head) and I could feel the space I was inhabiting, in relation to all around me.
The sounds of the forest seemed to get turned up and the colours were just mind-blowing. I could smell the soil. There was no real judgement of any of it… just an all-encompassing awe.
Now, there were loads of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things happening concurrently in that moment (e.g. the memory of my Belgian tour, the blissful remoteness of my location; the pain in my legs, my laboured breathing, the damned clicking when I was out of the saddle) but they all just went into the mix as pure perception, without any analysis.
There was no Giles, no commentary, just ***this.***
🔑
****Key Message**: Who you really are is BEFORE thought.
And here’s the thing. That’s what I remember most clearly about that 5 hour bike ride. Not all the celebrating & griping of the dualistic mind, but that 30 seconds or so of non-duality. Just experiencing it all.
Being it all.
It’s powerful stuff, reality, and it’s always there, waiting for us to fall back into. We don’t need forests to experience it - it can happen in really extreme, or really mundane moments.
And I think it’s all just about attention.
Is our attention on that exquisite, expansive sensation of life itself?
Or is it being drawn by the mind?
Both are options!
💟
Giles
### Related
[Daydreaming vs. worrying“Is it ok to daydream?” is a question I have been asked many a time 💭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/daydreaming-vs-worrying/)
Two special types of 1: ‘Active/Analytical’ thinking, explored
### Do more of what you like
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-more-of-what-you-like/
Last updated: 2025-12-18T00:02:12.000Z
Years ago, when I used to speak about career change at conferences, one of the basic, non-specific guidelines I used to give people, to help them move in the direction of fulfilment, was this:
> *“Do more of what you like, and less of what you don’t.”*
Sounds almost *too* simple, eh? And maybe a bit glib.
But it hit home for me again, very recently, and it’s the whole reason the [Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/newsletter) even exist.
Here’s what happened.
👀
I was having a spot of coaching of my own, and was being asked questions—to consider some things—and at one point I heard myself trotting out a phrase I’ve heard myself trot out a *lot* over the years:
> *“Well, I suppose I consider myself, first and foremost, a writer. It’s what I love most.”*
There was a bit of a pause and, forgive me, I can’t remember exactly what was said in response, or if there even was one, but what I *heard* in that moment (as in, the *realisation* I had; the fresh new thought, from out of the blue) was this:
> *“For a writer, you sure don’t write very much!”*
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 😲
Owwwww, someone get a 🧯 quick, call the 🚒 it buuurns!!!
After we’d put the fire out, we explored why that might be and I discovered, to my horror, that I’d started to see ‘what I love most’ as a bit of a chore.
Realistically, all I was doing was writing one 500 word article a month, for the [Focus Magazine](https://thefocus.wales/category/wellbeing/?ref=gilespcroft.com). And that felt like it squeezed me dry.
If we’re rooting out hidden beliefs, then the invisible one that was holding me back was this:
> 📦🗣️ *It feels like a bit of a chore to write at the moment. Therefore, if I try and write more, it will be even *more* of a chore. Therefore I won’t.*
And as a result of that little monkey, I was stucker than a stuck thing, covered in sticky stuff.
Here I was – the guy who used to preach *“Do more of what you like,”* doing the exact opposite, and wondering why I felt so heavy!
🤦🏻♂️
It was gently suggested that,
> *“You could maybe give daily emails a go for a bit? Just to see what it’s like. You’ll probably find it easier than once a month.”*
And the very next day, having treated myself to a shiny new app with which to capture my ideas, I sat in bed all day and I wrote.
And wrote.
And wrote.
Just like that. I’d gone from writing once a month and it feeling really heavy, to writing every day and it feeling really light!
Bonkers 🤪
And here we are: [The Daily Reminders](https://www.gilespcroft.com/newsletter) are a thing, and I haven't missed a day since.
😲
All because I took my own advice and simply started doing more of what I like.
---
So… what is it for you?
What do you love to do, but aren’t doing very much of, at the moment?
> *You could maybe give it a go for a bit? Just to see what it’s like. You might find it makes things easier.*
I love you.
😘
Giles
### Do you want to be right?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-want-to-be-right/
Last updated: 2026-02-27T19:42:23.000Z
Time for some tough love.
[I was wrong yesterday](https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-we-nature/), so it’s your turn today 😁
Here you go: You can choose one of the following, but not both.
❓
Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy?
No, no. Did you not hear me? I said choose ***one***.
🤨
Why can’t it be both?
Well, let’s put semantics aside for a moment (i.e. avoid a debate about what ‘right’ and ‘happy’ mean - they’re just metaphors, ok)?
In my world, ‘right’ is a mind-creation. There *is* no wrong & right.
*(Sure, we have commonly agreed human values, some of which we‘ve enshrined in law, but try foisting those onto a baboon and see how far you get.* 🙈*)*
There’s no right & wrong in this buzzing energy field that we call life. They’re human creations.
And in my world, ‘happy’ is freedom from all the limitations of those mind-creations. (‘Peace of mind’ you could call it.)
Experiencing life without the need for judgement or labelling.
*(And sure, you can be ‘happy’ when something you wanted to happen happens… but isn’t that just a result of ego shutting up from its incessant demands, briefly?* 🤔*)*
I like the way Richard Carlson puts it, in his rather excellent book, [*You Can Be Happy No Matter What*](https://amzn.to/4aDpVIs?ref=gilespcroft.com). He challenges you to ask of yourself:
> *“Am I putting my opinions above my positive feelings? When we take our opinions so seriously that they bring us discontented feelings, they are not worth defending.”*
Ouch, it burns us! 🔥
So, which is it to be?
How do you want to live your life:
1. Coming from a place of **needing to be right** about stuff? Making sure the mind’s expectations are being met, as often as possible?
2. Or not really being all that bothered by what the mind-creations are saying, and just… **being happy with life**, however it shows up?
Your choice.
💟
Giles
### Related
[In celebration of being wrongDo you want to be right or do you want to be happy? ◑The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong/)
Real life example of how much fun there is to be had, being wrong!
### Are we nature?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-we-nature/
Last updated: 2026-01-30T16:55:07.000Z
So I’m idly browsing twitter, as you do, and the algorithm’s served me up some guy, talking about [whether or not humans are part of nature](https://x.com/iancarter67/status/1793879496552247539?ref=gilespcroft.com).
*“Ooh, I know a thing or two about that,”* says the Giles Ego Construct (the GEC: 📦) and off it goes, reading and nodding.
At one point in the thread, he says:
> *“We are not separate from the rest of nature…”*
📦: \[Concurs, nods silently\]
Then he goes on…
> *“And logically, that extends to everything we make. A termite mound and a White Stork’s nest are natural, but so is a car park, a woodland razed to the ground and a stone wall.”*
Say what, now?
📦: 😶
📦: 🤔
📦: 😮
📦: 🤯
Because, dear reader, for the Giles Ego Construct 📦 head-canon, that was very much *not* the case.
As I said in [my reply](https://x.com/gilespcroft/status/1793915429028774034?ref=gilespcroft.com) to him,
> *“This tweet has given me pause for thought, thank you. While seeing humans as inseparable from nature, I have always mentally categorised the outputs of humans (e.g. roads/buildings) as lifeless and ‘non-natural’ but I realise the hypocrisy of this view now!”*
(You see, polite discourse on social media *is* possible 😉)
So now, every time I’m out on my bike, admiring all the non-human-created things that I specifically go out of my way to surround myself with, I’m reminded of this, and I relax into my wrongness.
Between you and me I’ve not even formed a new belief about this one yet. It was only five days ago and I have no idea what to think about it all.
But that in itself is quite nice.
Not knowing. Close cousin of Being Wrong. I like them both.
Anyway, let me know what *your* Reader Ego Construct 📦 has to say about this, in the comments, below!
💟
Giles
p.s. I can't talk about this without pointing you to this timeless, insightful track from Howard Jones, called [*Natural*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxxFaJE8s04&ref=gilespcroft.com)*:*
> *“Everything around us is natural*
> *Don't fight it*
> *Don't disagree with this and that.*
> *Everything we like and don't like is whole and natural*
> *I know is doesn't feel like it and the world seems wrong*
> *But if we don't like it now then who can we blame*
> *Blame God, be still, find harmony.”*
### Related
[In celebration of being wrongDo you want to be right or do you want to be happy? ◑The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/in-celebration-of-being-wrong/)
I love being wrong. Being wrong is when misunderstanding falls away.
### What your mind actually fears
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-your-mind-actually-fears/
Last updated: 2025-12-15T18:42:13.000Z
I went out riding with my chica, at the weekend. Gorgeous weather. Beautiful countryside. Quiet(ish) lanes.
Just the ticket.
Except… my chica’s mind had a lot to say about it (and she’s 10, so it comes straight out her mouth every time):
- *“How far to the next hill?”*
- *“How steep will it be?”*
- *“What if I can't make it?”*
- *“What if there's a car coming?”*
Now, the problem isn't that the mind comes up with this kind of rubbish - mine does too! (Just not out loud.)
Here’s a flavour of what mine was saying, for you:
- *“What if the hills put her off cycling?”*
- *“What if she falls off on a downhill?”*
- *“What if she has a mechanical I can't fix?”*
But it doesn't make sense for me to pay attention to any of that stuff, and it doesn’t bother me.
Why not?
Because, although it really looks like it, the issue isn't actually *what* it's saying.
It may strike lucky and guess right; more likely it won’t come to pass. That’s irrelevant.
No, the mind's underlying fear is:
😫
****“I won't be able to handle it.”**
But that’s ok, because minds *don't* have to handle these things, if and when they arrive.
Life energy/wisdom/common-sense-in-the-moment handles all that stuff.
Sure, it’s mixed in with everything we’ve previously experienced and the skills we have (i.e. *I’ll* be the one fixing the punctures!) but how we respond and how we feel… that’s all out of our hands. That’s when life guides us.
Because **we're built to thrive in reality**: that's the present moment, as far as you're concerned.
The Now.
Everything else is just mental commentary. The habitual output of the conditioned computer-mind.
---
You know what else we find in the Now?
The experience of going out on the bikes and enjoying the sights, sounds, smells and sensations of using our bodies for exercise!
It's really easy to miss that, when our attention is instead hijacked by all the mind's what-iffing.
Good to spot.
Better to nip in the bud.
Enjoy your day (rather than what your mind has to say about it).
💟
Giles
### This is how I sleep now
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/this-is-how-i-sleep-now/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T21:06:59.000Z
Someone recently suggested to me that I consider running an entire [Video Masterclass](https://payhip.com/gilespcroft/collection/video-masterclasses?ref=gilespcroft.com) on the topic of sleep.
My initial reaction was that I couldn’t fill a whole 90 minutes on the topic, because I just don’t know enough about it – there are a *bazillion* physiological reasons why we might not get to sleep, or stay asleep, and frankly, I’m not qualified to talk about them!
And yet…
My sleep used to be really poor, and now it’s really good.
I used to lie awake for hours, fretting about not being able to sleep and what it was going to mean for tomorrow, and trying all sorts of techniques to get back to sleep and getting increasingly hacked off when they didn’t work, and now…
…none of that happens.
Sure, I’ll wake up—I think that’s pretty normal—but nine times out of ten I’ll get back to sleep again pretty quickly, and if I don’t, well that’s not a problem either.
So I’ve got two treats for you today, both of which should help you get a better night’s sleep.
💝
## First Treat
The first is a little clip from Richard Carlson’s amazing audio programme [*Creating Miracles Every Day*](https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Creating-Miracles-Everyday-Audiobook/B00NYA2U6K?action%5Fcode=ASSGB149080119000H&share%5Flocation=pdp&ref=gilespcroft.com). It’s a short audio clip, and in the first half of it, he points to what I’m always pointing you to - that the totality of our experience of life is a thought-created perceptual reality (a bit like a “waking dream”) and the only time we suffer, is when we take that too seriously, believing it to be true, when it’s not.
So that’s pretty important, and he has a great way of describing it.
Once he’s got you up to speed on that, he then goes on to tell you *how* to get a good night’s sleep. It’s really obvious, when you see it. Have a listen here:
_This post is for subscribers only._
### The person in ‘personality’
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-person-in-personality/
Last updated: 2026-05-07T15:51:46.000Z
Someone asked me a question about their personality, for an event I ran, once. They felt as if they behaved like two different people in different circumstances: sometimes in a nice way, and sometimes not so nice.
Ring any bells?
And while we’re at it… what does that tell you about the notion of a ‘personality’?
If in some situations we behave one way, and then at other times we behave quite differently, how is any of this fixed? How can it be applied as a label of ‘who we are’?
What even *is* the experience of ‘having a personality’? (Because we sure as hell like to base a lot of our decisions and actions around them, don’t we?!)
In [this week’s video](https://youtu.be/%5FFXbDHO9IqE?ref=gilespcroft.com), I explore that a little further… something to bear in mind next time you find yourself saying, or thinking:
> *“Oh that’s just not *me*.”*
When you’ve seen what ‘me’ really is (or more accurately, *isn’t)*, you might find your choices in life suddenly grow much wider.
If that’s got you pondering, next go and have a read of this Guardian article, entitled: [*Are you really the ‘real’ you?*](https://gilespcroft.link/real-you-article?ref=gilespcroft.com)
I found this to be a spellbinding read - more grist to the mill when it comes to this made up notion of who we are, and how we think we should be.
There are no rules, but the rules programmed in to our computer minds… it’s just data in, data out. 🖥
Stay curious, people!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[The freedom of ‘real and not true’If somebody else has a different experience of something… whose experience is ‘true’? 🤔The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-freedom-of-real-and-not-true/)
The subtle difference between observing conditioned tendencies and being controlled by them
### Just in case you needed to hear this today
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-in-case-you-needed-to-hear-this-today/
Last updated: 2026-04-06T10:27:02.000Z
I was just looking for a suitable clip to share with you this week, and [stumbled upon this one](https://youtu.be/w-3nFm1szOU?ref=gilespcroft.com):
And while I’m more than aware that nothing ‘outside’ of me can ‘make me’ feel a particular way, I’m happy to report that I felt at peace, as I watched it.
(And it’s only 2½ minutes long!)
Maybe because it points to something that on some level we all know to be true?
And maybe, just maybe, you needed to hear this today.
(I’ll take my chances 😘)
Have a lovely day. Life’s got your back!
💟
Giles
### Related
[12 Days of Hafiz. Day 12: This Place Where You Are Right Now“Remember that everything has God’s fingerprints on it.” \~ Richard Carlson 💖The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/hafiz-2025-day-12/)
The full poem • [Premium 🔖 Subscribers](https://www.gilespcroft.com/#/portal/plans) can hear the narrated version **and* get a full Poem Reflection to boot 🧡
### What are anxious feelings telling us?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-are-anxious-feelings-telling-us/
Last updated: 2026-04-28T14:34:59.000Z
Every Saturday morning, while my wife is running [the wool shop](https://www.facebook.com/TheWoolCroft) that so many of my videos are recorded in, I take my daughter to cycling practice.
Here she is, nailing a corner that gives me (a staunch roadie) the heebie-jeebies, just to look at. (What does *that* tell you about how we experience the world, eh? 🤔)
_This post is for subscribers only._
### A chat bot in your head
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/a-chat-bot-in-your-head/
Last updated: 2025-11-27T20:54:57.000Z
I love using metaphors that point to the way we experience life, and if you've watched *any* of these videos of mine, you'll know I'm always banging on about ‘the computer-mind’.
Why are metaphors so powerful? Because they give us a fresh perspective on how something is working, which means we can:
1. not be freaked out by it, and
2. work *with* it, instead of fighting *against* it.
In [***this 7 minute clip***](https://youtu.be/zG-8BlxEwxM?ref=gilespcroft.com), you'll hear me digging into the computer-mind metaphor a little deeper, using examples from a recent TV programme I watched (with a helpful robot), and also the seemingly omnipresent notion of ‘artificial intelligence’.
Both metaphors are so spot on for the outputs of the left brain, I couldn't resist sharing them.
It's a longer clip, that you're going to want to properly settle into.
It's one to remember, next time you're conversing with some form of AI. You're a natural – you've been doing it since you learned to talk!
💟
Giles
### Taking your foot off the brakes
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/taking-your-foot-off-the-brakes/
Last updated: 2026-01-21T11:45:57.000Z
I had a wonderful conversation with a client this morning. They came to me with questions about meaning and purpose and direction (how to find them, naturally) and we explored that together, nice and slowly, leaving no stone, or assumption, unturned.
Now, I have *lots* to say about purpose and direction—probably too much for a single Daily Reminder—but the long and the short of it was that when quizzed, we discovered that my client:
- had an interest in a direction to go in ☑️
- had their passions (as we all do; you too) ☑️
…but had inadvertently put their foot on the brakes with them.
They were showing up in front of me with a feeling of being a bit stuck and directionless, *because* they had the brakes on.
In all the work I've done with people around career change (that I’ve been looking at now for almost 20 years!) this is probably the most common presentation.
## Why would we do that?
So why would we inadvertently put the brakes on our own hopes and desires?
Isn’t that a bit bonkers?
You’ll not be too surprised to learn that it’s that monkey-mind of ours, ruining everything for us, as bloody usual!
🐒
Specifically, it’s because it thinks that *it’s* in charge of things like change, direction & purpose, so in its apparent ‘wisdom’ (it’s really *not* wise) it encourages us to turn to it and **think more** about these things.
It eggs us on to wrack our brains for solutions and mentally prepare lists of pros and cons, measuring each of our passions up against the likelihood of being able to make a living out of them, and slowly but surely grinding us to a rather depressing standstill.
*(We’ve all done it, me included, oh yes!* 🤦🏻♂️*)*
Unfortunately for us, all the mind has at its disposal for such exploratory activity is a rather limited repository of:
- our conditioning
- the past
- other people's opinions
- our beliefs
…and it uses *these* (because this is all it knows; it has *zero* awareness of *anything* outside of itself) when it’s making up a story about how *it* sees our future panning out for us.
Not surprisingly, when [working from such limited data](https://www.gilespcroft.com/working-on-limited-data/), it usually ends up furnishing us with just two basic options:
1. Pursue what really lights us up, in the knowledge that we’ll probably fail and we definitely won’t ever make any money out of it, and therefore will end up living in a van down by the river, subsisting on ALDI own-brand baked beans until we die of hypothermia
2. Find something to do that isn’t *completely* unbearable, but pays the bills.
Both of which are *rubbish* options!! Is it any wonder we spend so much of our time feeling either stuck, directionless & apathetic, or a bit panicky?!
## **So what’s the answer?**
Well, I can tell you what it’s *not*. It’s not to quit your job / relationship / family / responsibilities, drop everything and head off to another country to become an artist / pop star / yoga teacher / astronaut / didgeridoo salesperson / internet sensation / cultist\* (all of which is just more of what the mind would have you *think* is required, because when it doesn’t have any of the answers, it makes up some *terrible* crap instead).
*(\*Please note, you are more than welcome to do any of these things, just make sure you’ve got a good divorce lawyer and enough cash in reserve to keep you afloat for about a decade.)*
No, the answer is plain and simple.
(And easy and painless and illuminating.)
The answer is in fact *so* simple, it’s going to seem equally bonkers and you’re probably going to get a *little* bit cross with me for saying it.
The answer is…
🤫 *\[whispers\]*
…to **stop listening to your mind**.
That’s it. That’s all. There is *nothing* else you have to do.
😐
*This* is the equivalent of taking your foot off the brakes – because it is all that pointless rumination and future guesswork that’s keeping you stuck in the first place.
These are brakes that we don’t even notice our foot resting on so heavily, because we’ve become *so* accustomed to taking our thinking *really* seriously, constantly examining it for answers that just. aren’t. there.
So, you put your thinking up on the shelf for a bit, stop listening to it, and tune your ear instead to the creative force of life itself; to what *it’s* telling you.
(Which will often be something that seems terrifying… to the mind, at least.)
You allow yourself to be guided by your **enthusiasms** (the etymology of which is Greek: *en theos*, or ‘the god within’, so now you know) and with the brakes off you start to get unstuck and you start to move forward.
## **Wait. There's more.**
Get this though:
😮
You probably **won’t* achieve what it is you **think* you want.
WTF?! What kind of a rubbish coach *are* you, Giles?!
Slow down there. Look at it logically.
What you *think* you want, is just more thought. It's yet *more* mind-chatter that's trying to take ownership of the change process, when it’s got *no idea* what life has in store for you.
✨
The great news is, you don’t have to know and you don’t have to achieve it, you simply take your foot off the brakes and life does the rest, taking you on a journey that is so *right* for you and you alone.
You take one step at a time and the very fact that you’re moving in the direction of something that’s being driven by ‘the god within’ (rather than the nutjob in your head) means that you’re officially on the stepping-stones of life and:
- Opportunities arise ☑️
- Conversations are had ☑️
- Inspiration strikes ☑️
- New paths appear ☑️
- Stuff happens ☑️
- Everything changes ☑️
Most importantly, purpose and direction reveal themselves… since they were there all along.
All because we stop listening to our mind and take our foot off the brake that has innocently been slowing down our lives.
**💝**
Giles
p.s. I support people through career changes by helping them to get all of the useless mind-rubbish out of the way, and achieve clarity of purpose and direction. If you're ready for that, [head over to this page](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals) to learn more, and apply to work with me.
### Related
[Wisdom is contextualIf you can see your path laid out ahead of you… well then, it’s not your path. 🧭The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/wisdom-is-contextual/)
More helpful careers advice.
### Unnecessary Habits 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/unnecessary-habits/
Last updated: 2026-03-20T22:01:32.000Z
**Seeing habits as a solutions, not problems, removes all their power.*
***Premium Written & Audio Content**
🔖
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### Creative listening 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/creative-listening/
Last updated: 2026-07-06T21:00:29.000Z
**The path to better communication and better connection is much easier than you think.*
***Premium Written & Audio Content**
🔖
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### Life itself has all the answers
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/life-itself-has-all-the-answers/
Last updated: 2026-01-03T01:47:06.000Z
Off the back of a live session I ran on the topic of [Parenting](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/parenting/), I had a wonderful question sent in from someone about what they should expect in terms of career and time, and motivations, if they ever decided to start a family.
I gave the answer that I so often have to: I have absolutely no idea!
😆
All I know is the experience I've had (which is totally unreliable in terms of recall, and non-reproducible, because it's based on my own conditioning!) and some basics about how experience in general is put together.
So the question provided the perfect opportunity to have a look at how we go about *making* such big decisions, and where the answers to our questions come from.
(Hint: it's a lot closer than you think.)
[This clip](https://youtu.be/nh%5FoHurb9%5Fc?ref=gilespcroft.com) has got some very helpful MECHANICS of the mind in there, some amusing personal stories and even a profound quote from the hit TV series - *‘This Is Us.’* (I know, right?!)
Enjoy!
Q: “I don't know whether to have kids! How do people balance their energy for work and other interests, once they're a parent?”
💟
Giles
p.s if decision-making is on your mind then you might want to check out my Video Masterclass on the process: [https://gilespcroft.link/decisions](https://gilespcroft.link/decisions?ref=gilespcroft.com)
### Fitting in 🔖
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/fitting-in/
Last updated: 2026-05-07T22:25:51.000Z
**Understanding what causes the commonly experienced feeling of ‘not fitting in’ ironically puts us in touch with our True Selves.*
***Premium Written & Audio Content**
🔖
_This post is for paying subscribers only._
### I just ate a nectarine
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/i-just-ate-a-nectarine/
Last updated: 2026-08-17T20:08:20.000Z
I just ate a nectarine.
Sat in my dressing gown, in my office.
My mind wanted to know what I was going to do *while* I was eating the nectarine. Should I be reading a book? (God knows I've got enough books that need reading.)
Should I eat it at my desk? Maybe I could tick off a couple of things while I'm enjoying this juicy treat. Then again, computer keyboards and sticky fingers don't play nicely, do they?
No (says my mind), I should just sit and eat the nectarine. Really enjoy it. Be present with the nectarine. That's the right thing to do, isn't it? Come on Giles, you know this stuff, walk the walk, man!
So I take a bite and it's delicious (more delicious than two days ago, when they weren't quite ripe) but now I'm looking *at* the nectarine, trying to ‘see it like I've never seen a nectarine before’ … christ, my mind goes into ecstasies over that one – I could even post online how I ‘just ate’ a nectarine, how very spiritual!
Another bite and now my mind's busy lining up all the things I'm going to do *after* I've eaten the nectarine. Busy, busy little thing. It likes to stay busy. If it doesn't prove its worth, I might notice it's surplus to requirements and it might be out of a job.
(Worse still, I could keep it on the books, but just ignore it completely – the ultimate dis!)
About three bites in—less than half way through, I'm pleased to report—after a brief, irritating flash of boredom (that I once heard described beautifully as ‘the feeling you get when the mind is operating at a greater speed than life’) I sit there and I absent-mindedly eat the nectarine.
And I notice that, absent the mind, there's not really anything to do, but enjoy the nectarine.
Until it pops back up and says,
> 📦🗣️: *“I bet you wish you hadn't tried so hard for the first few bites, now, eh?”*
🍑
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Just treeA simple Zen story that helps us manage life’s difficulties 🎋The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-tree/)
### Working on limited data
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/working-on-limited-data/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T20:46:38.000Z
I love it when my daughter gets involved in rustling up a curry feast with me. When she's in the mood, she makes an excellent sous-chef.
As well as her learning the ropes, it's also an opportunity for me to let go of my own expectations and patterns, practice real patience and embrace the mess as she creates havoc in the kitchen, slops ingredients here and there and insists repeatedly,
> *“I can do it I can do it!!”*
(usually for jobs way above her pay grade).
She thinks she can do it all, because she's working on limited data:
- She's not had to discard one of her dishes entirely, because quantities or timings were so off, it ended up inedible
- She's not yet accidentally burned herself, so she doesn't know how hot a pan on the stove actually is
- She's never hacked into a finger while she's chopping, so she doesn't know how sharp the knives really are (nor how much those bastards bleed).
After years in the kitchen, I've seen the big picture. I'm certainly no catering expert, but I know how the bits of the jigsaw fit together and nine times out of ten, maybe more, I'll be able to deliver a delicious meal… with all my digits intact.
## **Big picture vs. Pieces of the puzzle**
My little munchkin, on the other hand, doesn't even really know there *is* a big picture. I give her tasks—one tiny piece of the jigsaw—and she uses what knowledge and experience she has, attacking it with gusto.
But she's clueless about how this task fits into the meal as a whole. As far as she's concerned, *she's* the chef right now! She's making the curry – this separate job is actually *it*.
She's blissfully unaware of all the things she *doesn't* know; the proverbial ‘unknown unknowns’.
## **Ring any bells?**
Now, there's something else that's working on limited data.
It's your mind.
Your intellect. Your left brain. The software in your head that you've been gifted (or lumbered with, depending on how it's going for you today).
It's the most phenomenal piece of machinery known to humankind. I mean, it got us to the moon—and safely back—with its extraordinary aptitude for logic, reason and calculation.
It is *vast* in capacity. It's been hoovering up teraflops of data since the moment you were born, sorting, categorising, labelling, storing – it's the ultimate hoarder!
🚫
But it's not YOU. And it's not sentient.
It's a machine, programmed to find patterns in the data and spit out its analysis:
- 🗣 *“Here's what's wrong and here's how to fix it”*
- 🗣 *“This is how you are, you'd better stay in your lane”*
- 🗣 *“These are all your options, believe me, I have admin privileges and access to all the data, so I should know…”*
## **There’s so much more on offer**
Yet, in comparison to what's *really* available to us in each and every moment—the potential for fresh, new, never-before thoughts and ideas popping into form from ‘out of the blue’; from life, *outside* of the mind’s dataset—it's no more than a speck of dust in the cosmos.
And just like my daughter, offering helpful suggestions from her limited dataset of experience, your mind doesn't even know that all of this is on offer.
Its list of ‘unknown unknowns’ is infinite, even while it's rifling through old, stale information and insisting that it's in charge… it's the boss… it knows everything… trust it.
## **Make peace with it – not war**
So the next time you find yourself feeling tight, constricted, stressed out or frustrated, why not see it as an opportunity to practice real patience with that machine-mind of yours.
It's doing its level best, but it knows nothing of the big picture and it knows nothing of your true nature.
**It's working on limited data.**
Let it do its thing, relax back into the here and now, and embrace the mess.
💟
Giles
### Related
[Work with the mind, not against itThe only toolkit you’ll ever need 🧰The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/think-less-live-more/)
Taking these simple truths and applying them
### Time on the ball
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/time-on-the-ball/
Last updated: 2026-01-28T22:25:59.000Z
Well, this is probably the first—and last—time I use a football metaphor, so enjoy it while you've got it!
(I don't know one end of a football from the other; I'm more of a muppet than a man, I guess 🤷🏻♂️😆)
But one of my clients came up with it and it's so good, you've GOT to hear it.
A bit of background (shared with permission). A high-flying professional. Successful. Top of his game. Beautiful family. All the trappings. World at his feet. Wonderful.
But busy. Unfulfilled. Disillusioned. Burnt out. Unhappy.
Also, anxious. Stuck. Desperate. Crippled with self-doubt and—crucially—crippled by actual physical pain. Lots of pain. Unexplained pain. Endlessly investigated pain. Heavily medicated pain. Pain in the starring role.
In the bravest move of his life to date, he contacted me, out of the blue. He'd read enough here and watched enough of my little videos to know it was time.
In other words, he'd clocked that there was another way. He'd got a sniff of change being possible. He became curious. And that's really [all that's ever required](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/). (It's what I call the [FOUNDATIONS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/foundations/).)
> *“Giles. I don't fully understand all that stuff you talk about, but I've got this feeling you might be able to help me. What d'you reckon?”*
We started work together, making our way gently through the [MECHANICS](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/mechanics/) of how our minds work—his, mine, yours, everyone's—and with love and understanding and many questions, and quite a few long silences he started to see things differently.
A few sessions in, between appointments, I got The Text:
> *“Oh my word! It's clicked! I can't explain it right now, but… oh gosh, I feel FREE!”*
And the next time we met, he could explain it—we all can, in our own special way—and it was all about football.
> “You know those players who everyone idolises? The ones who just make space?”
(I confessed to not having a clue what he was talking about, but very much encouraged him to go on. I think I heard him say “Hoddle” at one point, if that makes sense to you footie fans.)
> *“Well… when they've got possession, no matter how many players they've got hassling them, they just act like they haven't got a care in the world. They make space. It really doesn't matter who's trying to get it off them, or how… you can see it in their play: they just know they have ‘time on the ball’. It's like their experience is completely unaffected by what's going on around them and time doesn't even seem to exist for them in those moments. It's beautiful to watch.”*
(By this time, even in my crashing ignorance of the game, I had a grin on my face so large, it felt like my face might fall off.)
*“Go on…”* I suggested.
> *“Well, ever since the other night, when it just occurred to me that I was ok, even with all this pain, I've felt just like one of those players – like I have ‘time on the ball’. There's a spaciousness I've not experienced, a lightness of being and I can actually SEE, for the first time, that no matter what's going on, I'm ok, aren't I?”*
That's it—I couldn't put the essence of [TRUE NATURE](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/true-nature/) better myself—and it's why I show up to work every day. Because that ‘time on the ball’ is there for each and every one of us, and there's literally nothing we need to *do*, in order to experience it, only something to *see*.
So take heart, you wounded… you injured… you overlooked. You can be off the subs bench, back on the pitch and enjoying ‘time on the ball’—for its very own sake—whenever you're ready.
💟
Giles
p.s. I pushed the metaphor too far there, at the end, didn't I? Told you I know nothing 😉
### Abstain-iversary
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/abstainiversary/
Last updated: 2026-03-13T20:59:21.000Z
It was such a massive non-event, that I failed to even notice an entire year had passed since I’d had an alcoholic drink.
That is, until it occurred to me just now, one year and five days later.
Such is my utter disinterest in booze these days, that it wasn't even something worth celebrating. Closing the door on a 30 year drinking career was the easiest ‘thing’ I have ever done.
And yet, if you'd told me this fact, one year and *six* days ago, I would have laughed at you so hard, my sides would have hurt. Give up drinking *entirely*?!? And be happy with that? Are you f\*\*\*ing *kidding* me?!?!!
*All* my friends and family will tell you… I *loved* to have a drink! I loved the taste of beer and a good red wine (I had quite the cellar at one point).
I loved the sociable aspect of it, and how it was such a shared experience.
I loved the way it took the edge off my day, and how it was always there as an option.
I loved the warm glow in my belly after the first few sips.
I loved hoovering up snacks with my favourite beer, and the sensation of steak & Rioja or Port & Stilton in my mouth.
I loved that first sip of ale, in a pub, after a really long walk.
**I. Loved. Alcohol.**
So how on earth did I go from THAT 👆🏻 to effortlessly just… well, not really giving a sh\*t? (Because Giles from 1 year and 6 days ago would *really* like to know 😆)
You see, in that time, there's not been one moment where I thought I wanted a drink.
There's not been one *ounce* of will power required.
There's not been the slightest *should-I-shouldn't-I?* debate in my head, even when I went to a weekend beer festival (that was plain **weird**).
HOW?
I put it down to TWO things.
## ⓵: The Three Principles
Thing ONE—by far the most significant of the two—was having a series of life-changing insights about the mechanics of how our minds work, the implications of all that, and who/what I actually am.
Completely unintentionally, I stumbled across the ‘[3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ (or the ‘[Inside-Out Understanding](https://amzn.to/4sMgJIM?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ or ‘[Health Realisation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three%5FPrinciples%5FPsychology?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ or ‘[Subtractive Psychology](https://www.jamiesmart.com/innate-thinking/?ref=gilespcroft.com)’ or whatever you want to call it; it's really not important) and my whole life changed completely.
I was on such a natural high—in love with life and every last one of my fellow humans, all doing our best, from a position of total psychological innocence—that booze just didn't even factor into the equation for a while.
🔑
****Key Message**: We are ALWAYS doing what makes sense to us
My senses were so heightened, my consciousness so expanded, that to ask, *“D'you fancy a beer?”* would have seemed like sacrilege. I was way too busy just sitting grinning to myself, tripping over my tongue, trying to put it into words, or literally crying with happiness at the simple perfection of life, and of me, and of everything, that there was just no need.
(Apologies to anyone who interacted with me in this labile state – you'd be forgiven for thinking I'd lost my marbles.)
But as I slowly came back from seeing the absolute truth of ‘No mountain’ and donned my cloak of visibility to once more enter the world of ‘Mountain’ (it’s a Zen thing – look it up), I found myself having the odd drink again, and before I knew it, I was pretty much back to where I’d started: two or three drinks most evenings, sometimes more. No artificial limits, or rules, or hoo-ha, just regular boozing.
Mindless consumption, out of habit, more than anything. Once again, alcohol was *always* there as an option.
Dammit. I thought I was done with this. I know I don’t *need* it, I don’t even really *want* it, so why the hell am I *doing* it?!
---
Eventually, the waking-in-the-night-dehydrated-slightly-tachycardic-needing-a-piss thing got to me the most, and I resolved to act. That was thing TWO and it’s what got me permanently out of a 30 year-long, on/off habit.
See, I knew change was possible—it’s always possible; nothing’s fixed—but the thing that made the difference was being ready to let go of repeatedly saying, *“Just not right now, yeah?”* and being ready for something completely different. Something I couldn’t conceive of (otherwise I’d have done it by now).
A shift in perspective that would allow me to inhabit a different world.
So I read a book called [*This Naked Mind*](https://amzn.to/3YKItzH?ref=gilespcroft.com). I’d heard a lot about it and how people had radically changed their drinking habits, after reading it. That’s what I wanted: to change my drinking habits. Not to STOP drinking—heavens, no, not happening!—but I wanted to change that attitude of it being this thing that was ‘always there as an option’.
I’d had the book for ages, but *“Just not right now, yeah?”* had always been the response when I contemplated picking it up. Because first there was so and so’s birthday, and then there was that two day beer festival, and bloody hell I’ve got a lot on at the moment and it really *is* helpful to take the edge off things in the evenings…
## ⓶: Crossing the Rubicon
Thing TWO was crossing the rubicon. It was being *ready* to let go of the stories.
I started reading the book and was quickly engrossed. DO NOT TRY TO STOP DRINKING WHILE READING THIS BOOK was quite the most perfect opener I could ever have hoped for. The author got me. Oh god, reading through it, the author *was* me! 😱
And then, three days later—about half way through the book—I noticed that not only had I not had a drink, but I didn’t even want one. The urge had left me completely. It was the strangest thing.
All this time, my biggest fear about becoming abstinent had centred on how I’d have to cope with not being *able* to have a drink… and all that time it honestly never occurred to me that a state of mind might exist where I didn’t *want* to!
How could I have not seen that?!
🔑
****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but INSIGHT
And so it was simple. One year and 6 days ago, I drank alcohol most days. One year and 5 days ago, I stopped doing that.
---
Why am I telling you this?
It’s certainly not because I think anyone should change their drinking habits. I don’t care what you drink, or whether you drink, honestly I don’t. You’ll do what makes sense—we can *only* ever do what makes sense—and that’s fine.
It’s not to pimp my help, if you *do* want to change your drinking habits. While of course I’ll help anyone [who wants it](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals/), you certainly don’t *need* my help, you just need to be ready, and then to do it. (I recommend the book!)
No, I’m telling you this because I am still frankly ***astonished*** at what a radical change of heart I experienced around alcohol.
One day I honestly loved it. The next day I didn’t.
So I’m telling you because I want you to know… that it’s possible.
Anything’s possible.
With love
💟
Giles
### Related
[Just for todayWhat if that big thing looming in your life, isn’t really big at all? ☝🏻The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/just-for-today/)
Some AA-related wisdom
### Inspiration is just a guide
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/inspiration-is-just-a-guide/
Last updated: 2026-01-14T11:01:01.000Z
You know those moments when it all makes sense?
When you get an impression that you’re ‘seeing behind the curtain’ and are super-excited about something you’re passionate to create?
Do that.
Inspiration will fade.
Only because its job is done.
💟
Giles
### When you get stung by life
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/when-you-get-stung-by-life/
Last updated: 2026-01-03T10:50:56.000Z
Sh\*t happens. I mean, really – it's the truest of all clichés!
You have *no* control over what's going to show up in life and if you're going to get stung, you're going to get stung.
Some of the biggest ‘stings’ in my life—personally and professionally—have been a catalyst for something beautiful or magnificent to rise from the ashes.
Not immediately (stings hurt, baby!) but when I've looked back and reflected on the different path my life took, as a result, I've been glad of them.
So when I talk about the common steps in [career change](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/careers/), this one is #2 of 10:
⏰
****This is your wake up call.**
To react to these moments of being stung as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is like stopping the ride there and then and stating confidently,
> *“This is the way it is. It's ‘bad’ and it won't change.”*
It's ascribing meaning where there is none. It's pausing a film half way through and making a bunch of conclusions about what it all means.
And here's the thing.
Sometimes we get stung for good reason. There's wisdom in them there stings.
Because sometimes we've travelled so far down a path that's not right for us, it first becomes unpaved and then there's a massive pothole that we fall into.
No escaping a big change.
With hindsight, we could probably have seen this coming, but… well, we were in a bit of a hurry to get somewhere (and a bit in denial).
> *“It's ok, I'm wearing sturdy footwear, I can handle a bit of an uneven surface… agghhhhh!”*
⤵️🕳
So don't be surprised if you get stung. Or fall down a hole. Or end up hopelessly mixing your metaphors.
Just try not to read too much into it.
Whatever happens, life goes on, one moment at a time. And it's not your place to judge what shows up.
You're human. You've been built to survive and thrive, in *each* of these moments. Whatever form they take.
Who knows… that ‘sting’? It could be just the tonic you need.
💟
Giles
---
This post was inspired by a Hafiz poem I read today:
> **INTO YOUR UNDIES**
> *How long will you remain content*
> *Just to hear and tell stories*
> *of what happens beyond your horizons,*
> *Where the courageous had no choice*
> *But to live their ideals*
> *And imbibe effulgence's shape?*
> *Restlessness and a lack of peace*
> *Can play a vital part*
> *In your inner unfoldment.*
> *If you ever become too complacent,*
> *Too accepting of your sorrow*
> *Or shadow self*
> *The Moon might fling a beehive*
> *Into your undies*
> *And that should*
> *Wake you up.*
> ***\~ Hafiz***
©️
"Into Your Undies" from **A Year with Hafiz*, Daniel Ladinsky, copyright 2011\. [www.danielladinsky.com](http://www.danielladinsky.com/?ref=gilespcroft.com). Printed with permission.
### What if it really was this simple?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/what-if-it-really-was-this-simple/
Last updated: 2026-06-16T07:01:15.000Z
I’m dredged from sleep at 3am by the sounds of wailing from outside the room, and a resigned groan from right next to me.
> *“What’s going on?”*
Is all I manage to produce from the murk.
> *“Oh god, it’s all nonsense. I’ve been up twice already. She’s just awake and in one of those moods, you know. Trying to control stuff that’s already happened.”*
We’ve been here before.
The “YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT THIS WAY AND YOU DIDN’T AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!” response. A sort of five year old’s version of the [*Kobayashi Maru* test](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi%5FMaru?ref=gilespcroft.com). You can’t win, so the quicker you get your inevitable demise over with, the better.
> *“I’ll go,”*
I sigh, dragging myself out of bed and into her room, where the drama is elevated to new heights because she doesn’t want this parent, she wants the other one.
---
In the past, sleep deprived and disoriented, I’d have played the *I’m-bigger-than-you* card and gone in wielding authority as my weapon of choice. Get in bed. Stop this fuss. Do you know what time it is? That sort of thing.
I’d then watch, helplessly, as things spiralled out of my control. We’d go to actions and consequences. Threats of privileges withdrawn if she didn’t shape up. *“No TV tomorrow”* might work for a bit, but then the caterwauling would start up again in the dark and I’d have to drag myself back out of bed, this time accompanied by the realisation I’d just guaranteed a similar flare up later that day, when I had to follow through on my rights-revoked ultimatum.
I’d get cross. She’d be screaming. I’d be yelling. All at three in the morning. And however it got resolved, I’d be awake for the rest of the night, adrenaline pumping, mind churning. Why did these things happen? What the hell could I do differently? What sort of state am I going to be in tomorrow, now?
These days, however, I enter these situations armed with the following four facts, that help me to resolve any such fraught situation:
#### Fact One
Every human being on this planet—my daughter included, even at 3am—is experiencing a moment-to-moment, subjective, separate reality that’s created in its *entirety* from our inner, perceptual process.
🔑
****Key Message**: 100% of our feelings come from (the Principle of) Thought. 0% come from our circumstances.
#### Fact Two
The extent to which we *see* this, in any given moment, determines the quality of our experience. If we’re lost in the illusion that it’s real—believing it to be objective reality, experienced the exact same way by everyone—then we’re under its sway. A ‘victim of circumstance.’
#### Fact Three
Each person is behaving in a way that is ***entirely*** congruent with however we’re seeing it in that moment. To quote [Syd Banks](https://sydneybanks.com/about/?ref=gilespcroft.com),
> *“Everyone is doing the best they can given the thinking that looks real to them.”*
If we mistakenly believe the ‘outside’ world is causing us to feel a particular way, we’re going to do our best to control that. Why wouldn’t we? 🤷🏻♂️
#### Fact Four
Every human being on this planet has the capacity to see through this trick of the mind in an instant, let go of the seemingly concrete nature of thought, and relax back into their default state: calm, peaceful, present and safe from psychological harm, independent of circumstance.
It truly is all just one thought away.
✨
So, yawning my head off, armed with nothing more than love and understanding for my furious little munchkin, I sit on the floor next to her bed and we shake her snow globe – the most visible demonstration I’ve found for How Life Works™ to a five year old.
You've got one, haven't you? No?! 😱 Get a snow globe for your desk!!
The screaming continues, of course, but whenever she’s catching her breath, I gently remind her that she’s all shook up, and her ‘guide inside’ (personified by this placid-looking baby giraffe inside its glass globe of thought you can see at the top of this post) is waiting patiently for the storm to pass, and when it does it’ll help her get back to sleep too.
I remind her that thought storms are normal and I have them as well.
⛈️
I remind her that beneath all the shook-up thinking, it’s nice and quiet—always—and that knowing this is enough.
☺️
We have to go through a couple of iterations, of course, but each time I have to go back into her room, it’s without adrenaline; each time a gentle reminder of what’s going on, interspersed with reassurance that she’s ok, that I love her dearly and that she’s already got everything she needs.
The third time, after she’s calmed, I’m treated to something really special. As she lies there processing the situation, she starts getting revved up again, changes tack and protests, quietly and crossly,
> *“But Dad… it’s not fair!”*
I pick up the snow globe one last time, shake it gently and tiredly observe,
> *“I know love. And the crazy thing is, that ‘it’s not fair’ feeling, well, that’s shook up thinking as well.”*
As I stop and let the snow settle, I witness her rebooting in front of me.
Eyes glaze. System resets.
She’s just seen something fresh, and it’s brought her back to her wellbeing. Five year olds have the exact same capacity for insight as you or I, and it can strike at any time, in any situation.
A contented little grin appears on her face as she takes the globe from my hand, places it on the chair next to her bed, says,
> *“Night night Dad, twilight sparkle!”*
…and snuggles into her teddy bear for the remainder of the night.
## So…
**What if** it really *was* this simple?
**What if**, in each given moment, we have a choice? Buy into the thought storm, or let it pass?
**What if** our own ‘guide inside’—that connection to wisdom, common sense, true nature, call it what you want—was *always* there, waiting for us to see through the illusion, let go of the attachment to our busy-mindedness and relax back into our natural state of wellbeing?
Ever present to whatever’s right in front of us.
Free from resisting what is.
Good to go.
What would life be like then?
💟
Giles
### Related
[Insight, and the capacity for insightPreviously unimagined change… it’s quite literally just “one thought away” 😵The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/insight-capacity-for-insight/)
You. Me. Kids. Everyone. All the time.
### Mental immune system
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/mental-immune-system/
Last updated: 2026-07-10T08:01:46.000Z
Hands up who's done this?
✋🏻
So I get in the shower in a foul mood. Don't know why. I'm obsessing over some problem or other. Something's pissing me right off.
(You know, to the degree where I could quite easily wash my face with shampoo or something.)
5 minutes in, it's gone.
There's nothing on my mind. I'm not ecstatic or anything, just a bit blank.
😐
So then, this little voice pops up in my head and says,
> *“It's a bit quiet in here. Now, what was I fretting about?”*
…and I catch myself delving around in my brain desperately trying to re-fucking-activate my worries!!!!
What's THAT all about?!
😂
Just me?
---
We have a perfectly good, expertly evolved, absolutely *genius,* personally tailored mental self-clearing mechanism that we all take for granted.
Our psychology is just as beautifully homeostatic as our pancreas, or our blood, or our lungs.
🔑
****Key Message**: RESILIENCE is the visible manifestation of our Psychological Immune System
Stop fiddling around in the machinery, people – you'll lose a finger in there!
💟
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[My job vs. Your jobIt’s a common belief that to ‘overcome’ trauma, we have to re-live it. But what if that’s just not the case? 🤨The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/my-job-vs-your-job/)
This is the key to overcoming life's traumas.
### Do you have the expectations of a mouse?
URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/do-you-have-the-expectations-of-a-mouse/
Last updated: 2026-08-07T06:59:15.000Z
I suspect I know what you’re thinking.
> *“Spare me the cod philosophy, Giles… what is it, I should have the expectations of a *lion*, not a mouse, yeah? I need to think BIG, is that what you’re angling for?”*
Nah. I’m not really one for cod philosophy. And I’m talking about a very specific mouse.
[Stuart Little](https://amzn.to/3ZRnyLK?ref=gilespcroft.com), the protagonist of E.B.White’s 1945 eponymous children’s novel. Me and my almost 5 year old daughter have just finished reading it together and I want you to avoid an easy trap this little mouse fell into.
(LOL, I really need to stop it with these puns.)
It’s a funny old book, have you read it? We got there via [Charlotte’s Web](https://amzn.to/3O8XTM1?ref=gilespcroft.com), which was wonderful and poignant and I confess I was mildly disappointed that the girl didn’t dissolve in floods of tears at the ending, just as I did, all those years ago.
She’s clearly less soppy than me.
Anyway, the first half of the book is a series of unconnected, madcap events: life, through the eyes of a 2-inch-high talking mouse-boy. So, getting rolled up in the living room blinds; being imprisoned in the fridge; finding himself thrown out with the rubbish, that sort of thing. A nice bit of slapstick for the child.
A succession of things happening *to* him. Circumstances out of his control. (Like I say: life.) He copes with each, admirably, and we warm to his character, relating to the calm, easy-going manner he exhibits, that we’ve all experienced for ourselves on our better days.
It being a kids’ book, Stuart maintains this carefree, tolerant attitude from chapter to chapter.
Which makes the ending all the more jarring.
## The best laid plans of mice…
The second half has more of a story – he goes on a quest to find his missing best friend Margalot (a bird, who’s flown North in the summer heat).
Sure, he still has adventures, but they’re interwoven into a broader narrative that feels like it’s building to something. In the penultimate chapter he arrives in a small town where he discovers there lives a 2-inch-high girl, Miss Ames, whom he spies at the post office and instantly falls for.
He writes her a letter, inviting her on a canoeing date with him the next day. She accepts.
And here’s where his thinking gets the better of him. He’s *so* excited about his date, he sets his expectations somewhere up in the stratosphere, spending a whole day fitting out the tiny toy canoe ‘just so’, then daydreaming about how amazingly fantabulous his time with Miss Ames will inevitably be.
Yet, unbeknownst to him, while he dozes, some full-sized boys discover his toy boat, play with it for a while and mostly trash it. Not beyond repair, but certainly to a standard well beneath the shiny slice of perfection the little mouse had planned for his date.
Now, he’d done *so* well up to this point, but here, it all unravels for our hero. You see, he simply can’t get over it. When the stakes are at their highest, his natural, clear-thinking nature—that we’ve enjoyed through the rest of the book—is suddenly swamped by fretful thought.
Nothing is right. None of it is how he wants it. The date can’t *possibly* go ahead under these substandard conditions, because he knows how it *should* (🚩) be ‘in order to’ succeed, and it’s not matching up.
(This despite the fact the girl of his dreams is sat right next to him, stating that she just doesn’t care, offering a raft of common sense suggestions as to how they could make it work 🤦🏻♂️)
So their time together just kind of fizzles. She goes home. He gives up. The book ends and (frustratingly, for a parent reading it to a child), nothing is resolved. An opportunity missed. A call to adventure ignored, because it was stifled by conditions.
(This was apparently very deliberate on the part of E.B. White, who made the point that life itself rarely gives you the satisfaction of a neatly tied-up story. Let's remember, this is the guy that killed off the heroine at the end of his previous book.)
## Ring any bells?
How many times have you had a picture in your head as to how things [*should*](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/) (🚩) be in order to succeed? And given up—or, more likely, not even started—when they weren't?
Let an idea fizzle.
Been disappointed by the way things have, or haven’t, turned out.
How often do you break your own heart by creating a personal set of rules as to what needs to be in place before you make changes or see ‘results’? By having the expectations of this little misguided mouse?
Hey, for the record, you’re not alone! I’ve procrastinated on living, at times for years on end, convinced things need to be ‘just so’ *before* I could begin working towards what I truly want. Waiting for my stars to align, or to have very specific boxes ticked.
So I get it.
But I understand it now, and I won’t be stopped by it any more. I’m willing to break my own ‘rules’ (which are in fact the rules of the Giles Ego Construct 📦) in order to follow authentic desires.
And you can too. If you choose to let go of the need to control how things ‘[should](https://www.gilespcroft.com/the-red-flag-of-should/)’ (🚩) be.
I shall leave you with a quote from the late, great [Richard Carlson](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/richard-carlson/), one of the earliest proponents of living from the inside-out, and the father of [Not Sweating the Small Stuff](https://amzn.to/4a0wynO?ref=gilespcroft.com):
> *“When you let go of your expectations, when you accept life as it is, you’re free. To hold on is to be serious and uptight. To let go is to lighten up.”*
Yes. Let go and lighten up.
Run free, little mouse, run free!
🐁
Giles
SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter
[](#/portal/signup)
Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’*
**“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK
**“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK
[GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup)
### Related
[Seeing the pathA selection of career path-related quotes to drum some common-sense into you! 👨🏻🏫The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft](https://www.gilespcroft.com/seeing-the-path/)