> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.gilespcroft.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Helping others: Staying open - URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-staying-open/ - Published: 2026-05-02T06:00:43.000Z - Updated: 2026-06-11T11:27:26.000Z - Description: The Sharing Series - Part 4. How not to screw it up. 🤦🏻 - Author: Giles P Croft - Tags: Sharing, Sharing Series, IMPLICATIONS, Relationships, Presence, Attention, Expectations, Principles, Thought realisation, Listening 📑 This is ****Part 4** of a [mini-series](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/), that all kicked off when someone asked me, **“How can I help my partner when they’re suffering?”* I thought it might be helpful to lay out some of the basic principles I rely on when sharing the Innate Health understanding, myself. You can read ****Part 1**, here: [****Two moods in the room**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/two-moods/) ****Part 2**, here: [****Step 1 - Showing up**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-showing-up/) And ****Part 3**, here: [****Step 2 - Being present**](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-being-present/) We’re looking at the process of sharing in 3 basic steps, and if I could boil down the previous two steps in a sentence each, it might look something like this: - **Step 1**: Relax out of the need to share, and listen from a place of love - **Step 2**: Get present, together, and see what occurs in the ‘sharing space’ ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/2026/04/Stick-Man---The-sharing-space-2.jpg) And before we move on to **Step 3**, I want to consolidate those previous two steps with a little passage from the book [*Unbreak Your Heart*](https://amzn.to/3Rd0OVo?ref=gilespcroft.com) by Linda & George Pransky, where they remind us: > *“Trying to change your partner is *futile*. People don't change by being *confronted*, or through *willpower*. To have real and lasting change you have to see something *new* about what it is that you want to be different … This insight has to come from the person making the change. No amount of pressure from you towards your partner is going to create their insight into changing their behaviour. They have to see it for themselves.”* Which of course echoes this one, that I often share with you: 🔑 ****Key Message**: Real change doesn't require willpower, but INSIGHT Now, to a mind, that just wants to get its sleeves rolled up and *fix this, now!* that's endlessly frustrating to hear. But when you have another look at the diagram above, you'll appreciate that ‘pressure’, ‘confrontation’ and ‘willpower’ all live in the (closed) head-space. Change occurs in **presence**. ## Step 3: Staying open There are two words right there, so let's examine each in turn. ### “Staying” Put simply, when in the presence of someone you'd like to help in some way, once you meet them in a nice quiet place of love, understanding and reflection, your only job is to stay there! You'd be amazed (actually, you wouldn't) at how easy it is for the mind/ego to become roused, put on its hobnail boots and jump back into the fray, especially if the other person gets all shook up again and says some stuff (which is likely). I sometimes feel like egos are *covered* in buttons, just waiting to be pushed!!! ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/2026/05/red-button-spam.gif) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/2026/05/TF-coin---Feelings-let-us-know-what-thought-is-up-to.jpg) Is watching this animation pushing yours? 😉 Thankfully you've got an early warning system of your very own, built in – your feelings. Any time you start to feel put upon, insecure, ‘right’, or like you're taking things personally, that's a sign that ego has crept back in again, without you noticing. Relax. There's [nothing under attack](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whos-under-attack/) here, but an idea. Let it float on by and stay in presence. ### “Open” Back in the original Daily Reminder, all about the [3 necessary ingredients](https://www.gilespcroft.com/necessary-ingredients-for-change/) for change, the ‘staying open’ step was all about being willing to be wrong. (Because being ‘right’ is just a manifestation of ego; what the mind *thinks* it knows.) And it's no different here. At the end of the day, you don't know what this other person needs, or what change they are going to see (if any). You're there to help *them* stay open too, so that change can happen. You remember back in **Step 1**, where we discussed the aphorism of leading a horse to water, but not making it drink? That's what these steps are about. By showing up and being present, you're right there with them, at the edge of the water. If they're curious, they'll drink. ### What's *not* being said A bit of behind-the-scenes for you here: I had no idea where this little [mini-series on sharing](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/) was going to go… at any point in the process! It's come together, bit by bit, *as* I've been writing it. And you'll note I haven't mentioned sharing the notions of mind, consciousness or thought (the [3 Principles](https://3pgc.org/faq/?ref=gilespcroft.com)) once. Nor have I given you instructions about how to demonstrate to someone that they're living in a thought-created perceptual reality. And the only mention I have made of the thought/feeling connection is above, as it pertains to *you* staying in a relaxed, open state of mind when being with this person. None of that stuff is needed for change to occur. All that's ever required is what I said, right at the outset. And you won't go wrong, if you have this as your guiding light: ❤️ ****Love and understanding** Because, to reiterate the advice I was given all those years ago, that has become etched on to my soul (for very good reason!): > ***How you're being, and the feeling you're coming from, is going to be a far more persuasive form of communication than anything you say.*** 💝 Giles SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter [![CTA Image](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/2025/12/DR_Lockup-Black-1.png)](#/portal/signup) Want to start **every* day with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox every morning, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’* **“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK **“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK [GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup) ### Related [Sharing Series - The Daily RemindersSome basic principles to bear in mind when helping others with your understanding of the 3 Principles ✨![](https://static.ghost.org/v5.0.0/images/link-icon.svg)The Daily Reminders![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/size/w1200/2026/04/Topic-image---Sharing-series.jpg)](https://www.gilespcroft.com/tag/sharing-series/) The rest of this mini-series on sharing the Innate Health understanding