> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.gilespcroft.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # It's just going to go away - URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/go-away/ - Published: 2025-04-05T07:00:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-08-07T10:38:52.000Z - Description: This is IT. The key to the change you want to see 🔑 - Author: Giles P Croft - Tags: Life change, Habit change, Free will, FOUNDATIONS, Identity, Acceptance, Anxiety, Anger, ADHD, Alcohol, Grief, Mental Health, Pain, Parenting, Psychology, Self-confidence, Stress, Thought realisation ### **How do we change things?** It’s such a conundrum, isn’t it? When I work with people or they come on one of my courses, this ‘How?’ question underpins everything. - How do I stop doing this, that or the other? - How can I start doing something else? - How do I stop feeling a particular way? - How do I stop these patterns of thinking, or feeling or behaving? - **HOW DO I CHANGE THIS?** And the answer is so close to home, we don't see it. It's actually in the question itself! Because we need to look more closely at the ‘I’ in each of those questions. What is that? Where is it? What agency does it have? Could it be the mind, creating an identity out of historical, conditioned data, and then pretending it's us? 🧐 It really looks like it’s on ‘us’ – that ‘we’ have to make these changes, doesn’t it? (I mean, that makes sense.) But one of the first Key Messages from the [RECONNECT Course](https://gilespcroft.com/reconnect/?ref=gilespcroft.com) that I run is this: 🔑 ****Key Message**: Real change doesn’t require willpower, but INSIGHT. --- You see, when a mind ‘pretends it’s you’ it also immediately takes on responsibility for the job of change. ’Cos if the mind is YOU and YOU need to change, then the MIND has to do the change, yeah? And this is where we find ourselves spinning our wheels. - ***Trying*** to stop doing this, that or the other - ***Trying*** to start doing something else - ***Trying*** to stop feeling a particular way - ***Trying*** to stop patterns of thinking, or feeling or behaving - ***TRYING*** TO CHANGE. ### **But what if
** That *idea* of you—what the mind is *saying* is you—is not actually you, and in reality is not in charge of anything? đŸ€” Well, then it would be off the hook. Then it doesn’t have to do anything. How cool would that be? *\[Whispers\]* (Keep this between me and you, but it’s *only* when the mind gets out of the way with its incessant tinkering and trying and controlling, that change can actually happen. But shhhh đŸ€« 
 it’ll get all twitchy if it knows we’re on to it.) ### **Minds don’t like this** They like to think they’re in control. They simply cannot conceive of anything happening outside their sphere of influence, so when some smart-arse like me comes along and starts questioning their agency, they can get quite upset. I’ve had people (minds) get pretty cross with me in the past, incensed that the answer to their problems could actually be: ✋ ****DO NOTHING** (I mean, as I type that, it just seems *wrong* – how the hell’s anything going to change if we do nothing?! đŸ€Ł) But it’s not *really* ‘nothing’. - It’s listening. It’s [staying open](https://www.gilespcroft.com/helping-others-staying-open/). It’s unlearning. - It’s clearing away all the crap we’ve been conditioning to think our entire lives. - It’s stepping out of our heads and back into life. - It’s first [*seeing* the stories](https://www.gilespcroft.com/whats-underneath-the-stories/) that are invisibly running our lives, and then it’s getting free from them. And when *that* happens, that thing that’s bugging you, that you’ve been trying to change all this time
? **It’s just going to go away.** 😎 Giles SIGN UP FOR THE DAILY REMINDERS newsletter [![CTA Image](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/2025/12/DR_Lockup-Black-1.png)](#/portal/signup) Want to start **your* days with helpful, insightful content like this? The Daily Reminder is a quick, lighthearted email that arrives in your inbox, to help keep you grounded in reality, so that you get to **‘Think less, and live more.’* **“They feel like a moment of stillness in a world of madness.” \~* Neil, UK **“One of those small things with big impact. Honestly, just sign up!”* \~ Paula, UK [GET YOURS NOW ](#/portal/signup) ### Related [Trying is lying“Do or do not. There is no try.” đŸ§˜đŸ»![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/icon/DR_Lockup-Black-3-156.png)The Daily RemindersGiles P Croft![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/thumbnail/2024-11-17-Trying-is-lying-1-1.png)](https://www.gilespcroft.com/trying-is-lying/) All this TRYING. But “trying is lying” 😂 - let's explore this funny little saying together.