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# Are you trying to figure it out?
- URL: https://www.gilespcroft.com/are-you-trying-to-figure-it-out/
- Published: 2024-11-03T07:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2026-03-08T20:14:53.000Z
- Description: Why our usual models for change don't work for wellbeing & fulfilment 💝
- Author: Giles P Croft
- Tags: Life change, #1:1 CTA, Focus, Goals, Habit change, Mental Health, Presence, Principles, FOUNDATIONS, Psychology, Real stories

I’m curious. Is that what this is, for you?

A puzzle of sorts. A feeling, a bit like the old tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon, where it seems so close you can almost touch it, but nothing’s happening?

> *“If I can just ‘get’ what Giles is talking about, then things will be different.”*

That sort of thing?

I see this with a lot of clients, and I think it’s very normal and natural. (You are definitely not alone! 💝)

Here’s why.

We’ve been programmed from birth, through our schooling and into adult life, that the answers lie in **understanding information**:

- Take it in
- Understand it
- (then when needed) Recall it
- Apply it
- (then to get better) Keep practicing applying it.

It’s the shoelace-tying model. Or the performing-surgery model. Stuff you need to *know* how to do.

And of course we bring this same approach to happiness and wellbeing, innocently enough:

- I need to understand this
- I need to remember this
- I need to apply this
- (nothing’s happening, so) I need to practice this.

⚠️

****But that approach doesn’t work when we already have what it is we’re searching for.**

Could it be the searching, the ‘needing to…’ *itself*, that’s actually getting in the way of us realising that?

🤷🏻‍♂️

---

I worked with a client, not long ago. Medic. Brainy. Diligent. Fun-loving. Stuck!

In his own words:

> *“I was up against a fairly constant inner monologue of feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt about career decisions and frustration that my life didn't really match up with what I thought it should look like.”*

Somewhat unsurprisingly, he’d tried solving this situation with the understand-recall-apply-practice model.

I mean, why wouldn’t you? It makes total sense to try doing that. I get it!

And being on my mailing list for some time, in this case, that had manifested as watching a bunch of my videos, reading a *ton* of the books I’d recommended or mentioned over time (I want to say *all* of them! 😆), and trying to figure out what the solution was.

Needless to say, mindfulness meditation, online CBT, work-life balance coaching and a ton of *other* books too, had also all been tried, to no avail.

Again, in his words:

> *“I realised that when I was reading lots of wellbeing books, it was because my left brain thought there was ‘a solution’ to the reason I was stressed and low in mood ‘about my life’. If I could apply enough knowledge at the right times, then things would change.”*

And it wasn’t working.

So we spent time exploring these things: how change works; what we need to do/not do, to experience wellbeing; what to look for; what’s really going on.

And a shift occurred (as it inevitably does - the mind can only fight reality for so long! 🤷🏻‍♂️)

Interestingly, this shift illuminated all the books and all the ‘learning’ in a very light.

For when we looked back at all the reading that had been done, from that fresh vantage point, we could see that every single one of those books\* had the same overarching theme:

👉

****The answer does not lie in this book. You are your** ***own** **answer.**

😲

And that’s the direction I point my clients in.

Here's what happened:

> *“Talking with Giles has helped me take my foot off the accelerator when it comes to ‘trying’ to get better wellbeing. Speaking 1:1 has given me multiple insights that I wouldn't have gained reading books or even watching videos, by linking things to my own experiences.*

> *This has helped me take thoughts and feelings less seriously and get some space between the present moment and what my mind might have to say about it.”*

💗

In [tomorrow’s Daily Reminder](https://www.gilespcroft.com/get-your-own-evidence/), I’m going to talk a bit about what ‘taking your foot off the accelerator’ looks like, as we explore another very common—almost consequent—sticking point: the dreaded ‘waiting for insight to strike’.

⏳🧐😴😖

💟

Giles

\*p.s. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that if you’ve read a couple of 3 Principles/Innate Health/Inside Out Understanding-related books and *not* experienced significant changes, then I don’t think there’s much point in just reading more. You need to change up the way you’re approaching this.

GET YOUR OWN CHANGES 

[![CTA Image](https://storage.ghost.io/c/9b/f3/9bf3d316-7d32-494b-814f-a7d94d6358c3/content/images/2026/01/GPC-mugshot-at-desk_800px.jpg)](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals) 

Know that it's time for significant life change? Had enough of reading and now ready to sort the problem out once and for all, with 1:1 support?

I help you get the change you need, in a way that's just right for you.

[Apply now ](https://www.gilespcroft.com/individuals)